Welcome to Pure Choices.
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I'm so glad that you decided
to join us for another episode
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where we're going to be
dealing with another hot topic,
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but yet a very serious topic.
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Now, you know, that you've
been with us all season long,
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we've been dealing
with our sexuality,
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and our sex, how God created us,
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and how we can
strive to make Pure Choices.
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Today, we're going to have
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a continuation of
a previous episode
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part two actually of an episode
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where we dealt
with homosexuality.
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But before we
get into this topic,
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I want to just take a moment
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and just introduce you
again to my colleagues,
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and a very special guest
that we have with us today.
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We have, again, here with us
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my Brother Pastor Alfonso Greene
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who's at First SDA
Church in Huntsville, Alabama.
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Right.
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And then we
have a special guest,
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you may hearing more
from her Miss Lorraine Alexis,
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who comes to us from
Nashville, Tennessee,
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and she is a second
year medical student
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there in Nashville.
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We have with us, again,
and we're glad to see you here,
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Miss Sabrina Etienne
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who as well is a student at
Southern Adventist University
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in Collegedale, Tennessee area,
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and she's getting her
master's in clinical counseling.
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And then we have my
Brother Pastor Michael B. Kelley
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who comes to us all the
way from Riverside California
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from the Mt.
Rubidoux SDA Church.
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And I am your host
Pastor Seth Yelorda,
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and I'm glad to be here.
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Today we want to
continue with where we left off
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last week with homosexuality,
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and I just want
to take a moment,
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just to kind of recap
for those of our viewers
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who are here for the first time
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and they didn't catch last week.
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Last week, we
talked about homosexuality,
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I know
specifically, we dealt with
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is it right or is it wrong.
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You know, where does
the Bible stand with it?
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What does society
say about homosexuality?
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What are some other areas
that we dealt with last week
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when we talked
about homosexuality?
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Yeah, I think one of
the main was we found
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which connected to another topic
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when we discussed the idea
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of how the media
plays a part in sexuality.
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And we said now we see it
being more prevalent on TV shows
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so now as opposed to
becoming something that's,
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you know, abnormal or something
like that or different,
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it now becomes more
the normal or comfortable.
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It's more of a
comfortable environment.
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Right, right. It's great.
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Hey, I mean, we also, you
know, just was talking about,
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you know, nature versus
nurture and just really...
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If you're born
this way versus...
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If you're born this way versus
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if you picked it
up down the rude...
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It just kind of
really unpacked it,
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you know, just try to
impact that for the viewers.
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And so, you know, just really
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and just trying to
get some quick counsel
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from the Word of God.
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Yeah, now we know that
homosexuality is prevalent,
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I mean, it's becoming
more and more prevalent.
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I mean, not just in society,
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but in the church
and we're seeing it.
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And today, we have a
very special guest with us
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the Lorraine Alexis.
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And Lorraine has a
very interesting story
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about her own experience
with homosexual lifestyle.
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So I just want to turn in.
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Lorraine, just, you know,
I thank you for being here,
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and I thank you
for your willingness
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to be open and transparent,
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I believe that
someone's gonna be blessed,
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and healed, and get
victory from this episode.
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And so just share with us,
you know, briefly your story,
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where you come from, and
where God has brought you.
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I mean, wow, thank you so much.
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When we talk about homosexuality
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it's such a big word.
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And I think growing up I
always associate homosexuality
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with the psych thing
that you started to do
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if something really
bad happened to you.
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People often
acquitted after being molested,
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or abuse, or if your
father wasn't in the home,
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but, you know,
you had to go through
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a really traumatic experience
to find yourself there.
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And for me that
was quite the opposite,
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I grew up in a Christian
home, both parents in the home,
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who took us to
church, who prayed with us,
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who just loved on us...
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Sabbath school.
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Sabbath school, you name it,
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Pathfinders, I was
a part of everything.
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Okay.
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So on the outside,
it wouldn't seem that
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I'd be a part of
something like that.
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It will appear like
there's no reason for you to...
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There was no
reason for it, right?
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Even though the media
gave its cues at sometimes,
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you know, to make
things easy or open,
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you know, at
first, I still thought
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it was not something for me.
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And my experience
began when I was 16,
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I was in high school.
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My best friend, me
and her became friends
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through mutual sports
that we played in school,
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and we're really best friends
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for maybe about two
or three years before,
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you know, during this
process basically what happened.
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Was it a public
school or a Christian school?
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This is was a public, I
went to public school all long.
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And, you know, we were friends
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and at first
nothing became of it.
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You know, we were
just really good friends,
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went through a lot
of things together.
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And, you know,
there came a point
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where little by little
the topic of experimentation
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started coming into play.
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And at the time, you
know, it started to become
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like a little
crazy that people would,
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you know,
experiment and find things.
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You know, I kissed
the girl and I liked it.
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And so when you saw
the people doing things,
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"You know, we could do it too.
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Let's just try."
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And that was sort of the way
she initiated certain things.
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"So let's just try
this, this is fun."
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And of course, at
first it was, you know,
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weird and I didn't
want to be a part of it,
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but little by
little just like anything
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you start for the first time,
you keep going, you keep...
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Oh, it doesn't mean
anything really, you know,
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there was a labels or
no names that we gave it,
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but little by little it started
to become a lot more serious.
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She started to
develop feelings for me,
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I didn't really
know how to handle it,
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she was my best friend,
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I didn't want to let
her down or disappoint her.
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So I continued, I kept up.
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And...
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Can I ask a question
on what you've told us?
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This was your first
experience, homosexuality.
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Was this her first experience?
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I really didn't know, as
we we're going through it,
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I believe that it
was the first time.
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I mean, later on, you
know, she later disclosed to me
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that she had been struggling
with it for a long time,
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but I never really knew.
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But it was
definitely my first time
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even being a part of that.
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So what happened as
you continued to progress?
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Yeah, little by
little we continued,
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and the relationship
actually started to develop,
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we actually gave each
other titles as girlfriend.
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So you became
open at this point.
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Actually no, we
kept this very private,
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no one really knew.
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We had one friend
that we really confided in,
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who kind of knew
what was going on,
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but we never told anyone.
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Our parents never
suspected anything
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if we would spend time together
because we were best friends,
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our parents expected us
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to spend time
together and hang out.
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Yeah.
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They had no
problem with sleepover
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as in not knowing where
we were for days on ends
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because they never
thought or suspected anything
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that was going on.
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So it continued for months.
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Yeah, I was going to ask,
you know, one of the things,
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Lorraine, that, you know,
just kind of society, you know,
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pretty much people
feel like, you know,
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if you're getting engage
in this type of relationship,
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and there has to be
some type of inclination,
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were you like
any point before this
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attracted to
people of the same sex
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or anything like that?
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This is kind of a common,
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you know,
assumption that people make,
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was that true in your situation?
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Absolutely not.
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I never had an inclination
prior to that experience
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even while it was going on,
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I still have those
moments I was like,
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"Ew, you know, what am I doing?"
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But when you have someone
there that you do care about,
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you know, sometimes
you kind of push those
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little feelings
to the side and say,
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"It doesn't
really mean anything,
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I can try or
I've already done this
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so I might as well keep going,
I might as well continue."
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So, you know, I
didn't have an inclination.
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It became a
monogamous friendship.
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Just friendship.
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Amazing that it
could start from there.
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It just started as
friendship and, you know,
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at first it started out blazing,
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you know,
experimentation, it's cool,
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it's what's going on in,
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and it became a lot more serious
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as time progressed.
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As you progressed, you know,
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how did you come victory
like what was the process?
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So I think like
I said all along,
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you know, I did
have that feeling
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knowing that I
shouldn't be a part of this,
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you know, I still
went to church, I still...
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Sometimes she would
come to church with me
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or you know we
still open Sabbath
00:08:08.38\00:08:10.32
as a family so my parent...
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You know, should
be around my family.
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And it happens, take one day
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where I happen to go
to the Sabbath school,
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and the Sabbath school teacher
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was talking about homosexuality,
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and how it was an abomination.
00:08:22.23\00:08:24.23
And within about
three or four minutes
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into the lesson,
00:08:26.10\00:08:27.44
I immediately felt this burning
inside of me knowing that,
00:08:27.47\00:08:31.64
"Oh, my goodness
like this is for me.
00:08:31.67\00:08:34.28
I cannot be a part of this."
00:08:34.31\00:08:36.01
And I literally ran out
the church just in tears,
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just crying,
crying, crying in the car,
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I thinking to myself,
"How did I get this far?
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You know, months have gone by,
00:08:43.82\00:08:45.22
almost a year has gone
by, how do I get this far?"
00:08:45.25\00:08:48.82
And I remember that day,
00:08:48.86\00:08:50.19
you know, just
really praying like,
00:08:50.23\00:08:51.56
"God help me get out.
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I'm going to get
out right now, I'm out."
00:08:52.96\00:08:55.40
And on that day
I called my friend
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and explained to her that,
00:08:56.80\00:08:59.17
you know, this
could go on no longer.
00:08:59.20\00:09:01.27
And it was devastating.
00:09:01.30\00:09:04.31
Let me ask this when you were
going through the relationship
00:09:04.34\00:09:07.81
and obviously still going back
and forth to church and around,
00:09:07.84\00:09:10.78
you know, other church
people and things like that,
00:09:10.81\00:09:13.58
I know you said you felt
like something wasn't right,
00:09:13.62\00:09:16.95
did you not feel comfortable
to confide in somebody else
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because of the way you heard
00:09:19.69\00:09:21.02
maybe other people
responding to individuals
00:09:21.06\00:09:23.99
who are in the same situation,
00:09:24.03\00:09:25.46
like, you said there's
one friend you confided in,
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I'm wondering was
that friend somebody
00:09:27.46\00:09:30.23
who was trying
to help you out or,
00:09:30.27\00:09:31.60
you know, was there or
were you not comfortable
00:09:31.63\00:09:33.70
because of the way
maybe you felt like
00:09:33.74\00:09:35.07
you would have been received
00:09:35.10\00:09:36.44
if someone knew what
you were going through?
00:09:36.47\00:09:37.81
Right.
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First off, that
friend was not a friend
00:09:39.21\00:09:40.54
who was part of the
church so I think at times,
00:09:40.58\00:09:42.94
they actually encourage
the relationship to continue.
00:09:42.98\00:09:46.72
So they didn't really enforce
00:09:46.75\00:09:48.88
or suggest that
maybe you should stop
00:09:48.92\00:09:51.39
if I was feeling
anyway, you know,
00:09:51.42\00:09:52.85
they would sort of say,
"Well, you feel like this today,
00:09:52.89\00:09:54.72
but tomorrow may change,
00:09:54.76\00:09:56.09
you know, we like
the two of you together,"
00:09:56.12\00:09:58.69
or something like that.
00:09:58.73\00:10:00.83
At the time I really
would never have thought
00:10:00.86\00:10:02.93
of coming out in
the church because A,
00:10:02.96\00:10:04.97
I had not admitted it to myself
00:10:05.00\00:10:07.40
that I was a part of this,
why should I say something,
00:10:07.44\00:10:10.17
you know, inside the church,
00:10:10.21\00:10:11.54
then I would be forever
labeled as being a part of this,
00:10:11.57\00:10:14.28
and that's not
something I was ready to do.
00:10:14.31\00:10:16.95
I had not admitted it to myself.
00:10:16.98\00:10:19.35
And I could see how the church
even just society views people
00:10:19.38\00:10:23.65
that are part of this,
00:10:23.69\00:10:25.02
you know, they're
unclean and dirty,
00:10:25.05\00:10:26.72
and they're almost
contagious by all means...
00:10:26.76\00:10:29.42
Stay away. Stay away.
00:10:29.46\00:10:31.29
So why would I tell
the people in my church,
00:10:31.33\00:10:33.16
you know, who
already carry those views.
00:10:33.19\00:10:35.26
And so most people that
actually do feel were family,
00:10:35.30\00:10:37.73
you know, I didn't want
them to see me any different,
00:10:37.77\00:10:39.80
I didn't want them
to look at me as though,
00:10:39.83\00:10:42.34
you know, I
wasn't the same anymore.
00:10:42.37\00:10:43.97
You said something
that there was this part...
00:10:44.01\00:10:46.14
A question for me, you
said you did admit to yourself
00:10:46.17\00:10:50.55
almost like you had
a hard time with it.
00:10:50.58\00:10:51.91
Can you unpack that,
this sounds like powerful
00:10:51.95\00:10:53.52
like you are in
something, but you said,
00:10:53.55\00:10:55.75
"I couldn't admit it to
myself therefore I didn't get,
00:10:55.78\00:10:58.85
you know, maybe extra help?"
00:10:58.89\00:11:00.22
Can you impact that
maybe if you remember any?
00:11:00.26\00:11:01.59
Yeah, absolutely.
00:11:01.62\00:11:02.96
I mean, you doing something
00:11:02.99\00:11:04.33
and you being something
it's two different things.
00:11:04.36\00:11:06.66
You know, I can take
something from a store,
00:11:06.70\00:11:09.50
but I may not be a stealer,
00:11:09.53\00:11:11.63
I mean, I want to be
called somebody who steals.
00:11:11.67\00:11:14.50
So it's easy to do one
task and do the next task
00:11:14.54\00:11:17.94
and go to this place and
hold hands with this person,
00:11:17.97\00:11:20.68
but if now all of a sudden,
you give me a title that means
00:11:20.71\00:11:24.01
that I'm associated
with all these other people
00:11:24.05\00:11:26.05
that I don't want
to associate with,
00:11:26.08\00:11:28.68
I don't feel she had
the same characteristics
00:11:28.72\00:11:30.75
as I do, it's very difficult.
00:11:30.79\00:11:32.19
You know, that's similar
00:11:32.22\00:11:33.56
to what we see
taking place in society
00:11:33.59\00:11:36.26
where you have
especially men who will say,
00:11:36.29\00:11:38.86
"I'm not homosexual.
00:11:38.89\00:11:40.23
I just like
sleeping with other men."
00:11:40.26\00:11:41.60
Yeah.
00:11:41.63\00:11:42.96
You know, it's like
their down-low epidemic
00:11:43.00\00:11:44.33
that's taking place.
00:11:44.37\00:11:45.70
You know, so
they compartmentalize,
00:11:45.73\00:11:47.07
"No, I'm not homosexual, I
just like to sleep with men,
00:11:47.10\00:11:49.47
but I'm not homosexual."
00:11:49.50\00:11:50.84
One thing that I
think it's powerful though,
00:11:50.87\00:11:52.21
Lorraine, that you shared though
00:11:52.24\00:11:53.58
is I think it
was the realization
00:11:53.61\00:11:54.94
when she went to that
Sabbath school's class that day
00:11:54.98\00:11:57.48
like where you were
trying to compartmentalize
00:11:57.51\00:12:00.42
these two different things
00:12:00.45\00:12:01.92
it's kind of when
you brought it together.
00:12:01.95\00:12:03.32
And it was like, you know what,
00:12:03.35\00:12:04.69
"Man, the Lord is
speaking to me about this."
00:12:04.72\00:12:08.42
Once you embrace that
because as you are denying it,
00:12:08.46\00:12:11.16
it's still have power over
you, and once you embraced it
00:12:11.19\00:12:14.10
then it opened the
door for God to come in
00:12:14.13\00:12:16.60
and to actually
begin the process
00:12:16.63\00:12:18.77
of deliverance in your life.
00:12:18.80\00:12:20.80
What that process look like?
00:12:20.84\00:12:22.20
So you went to
Sabbath school, they told you,
00:12:22.24\00:12:24.47
you heard the Sabbath
school teacher talking about it,
00:12:24.51\00:12:25.97
you went out, you
called your friend,,
00:12:26.01\00:12:27.91
you know, your friend
gave you some flak from there,
00:12:27.94\00:12:30.75
I mean, was it
just like cut and dried,
00:12:30.78\00:12:32.61
it was over, you were done,
00:12:32.65\00:12:34.08
did you cut the friend
off, like, what was the...
00:12:34.12\00:12:35.92
Not at all, like, I said
00:12:35.95\00:12:37.52
this was the beginning of
sorrow for me and my friend.
00:12:37.55\00:12:40.76
You know, she was just so hurt
00:12:40.79\00:12:42.32
and so upset that
I had decided this,
00:12:42.36\00:12:44.79
you know, she cursed the
church from left to right,
00:12:44.83\00:12:47.86
you know, told me I
was foolish and crazy.
00:12:47.90\00:12:49.83
All of a sudden, I
was being brainwashed,
00:12:49.86\00:12:51.93
"Why can't I listen anymore?"
00:12:51.97\00:12:54.40
She became
depressed, I became depressed,
00:12:54.44\00:12:57.04
it was a cycle of
abuse of threatening,
00:12:57.07\00:13:00.18
you know, almost
attempted suicide at one point.
00:13:00.21\00:13:03.08
You know, she threatened
me that if I would not change,
00:13:03.11\00:13:04.61
that she would kill herself.
00:13:04.65\00:13:05.98
Wow.
00:13:06.01\00:13:07.35
And that took, you
know, a really big toll on me,
00:13:07.38\00:13:09.18
and actually put me
in a moment of remission
00:13:09.22\00:13:11.25
where I started to
say, "Okay, I'm sorry,
00:13:11.29\00:13:13.52
like, I didn't mean that,
00:13:13.56\00:13:14.89
you know, we can go
back to how things were.
00:13:14.92\00:13:16.26
Relapse. Kind of relapse.
00:13:16.29\00:13:18.19
And it took several months
for me even just to come back
00:13:18.23\00:13:21.03
and say, "Okay, no, I
really have to go back to this.
00:13:21.06\00:13:23.67
You know, I don't know
what's going to happen,
00:13:23.70\00:13:25.77
but I know that
I can't stay here."
00:13:25.80\00:13:27.57
Amen.
00:13:27.60\00:13:28.94
You know, I had an opportunity
to be baptized shortly after,
00:13:28.97\00:13:31.44
and for me, that was
like a great big step saying,
00:13:31.47\00:13:34.04
"I'm not going back to this,
you know, this is over for me."
00:13:34.08\00:13:37.58
And that did not
change for my friend,
00:13:37.61\00:13:39.41
you know, that was just a symbol
00:13:39.45\00:13:40.78
it meant nothing to her,
00:13:40.82\00:13:42.15
she was still
trying to convince me
00:13:42.18\00:13:43.52
that I need to come back and,
you know, do this again and,
00:13:43.55\00:13:46.39
you know, she was
just so emotional about it
00:13:46.42\00:13:49.52
and it brought
my emotions down...
00:13:49.56\00:13:51.13
Like I said she
was my best friend
00:13:51.16\00:13:52.49
and so I didn't
know how to handle that,
00:13:52.53\00:13:53.90
I didn't want to
lose her friendship.
00:13:53.93\00:13:55.50
So it was a very
tough time for me,
00:13:55.53\00:13:57.93
and I think afterward
that it really impact me
00:13:57.97\00:14:00.84
in ways I really
had not understood.
00:14:00.87\00:14:03.10
I had a lot of issues
with self-image, and worth,
00:14:03.14\00:14:07.64
you know, if I was unclean,
00:14:07.68\00:14:09.21
you know, our church
puts a nice big veil over
00:14:09.24\00:14:11.75
how young women
should be and I was like,
00:14:11.78\00:14:13.85
"Man, I'm not
that girl anymore and,
00:14:13.88\00:14:16.69
you know, will someone love me?"
00:14:16.72\00:14:19.15
And also I struggle
about who I really was like,
00:14:19.19\00:14:23.29
"Did I always like women?
00:14:23.32\00:14:25.56
Was there something I was
naturally inclined to do?"
00:14:25.59\00:14:27.40
You know...
00:14:27.43\00:14:28.76
So there was
that confusion there?
00:14:28.80\00:14:30.13
Extreme confusion.
00:14:30.17\00:14:31.50
And who do you
talk about this with?
00:14:31.53\00:14:33.34
You know, you're 16
years old, you're like,
00:14:33.37\00:14:35.20
"How do I
discuss this with someone
00:14:35.24\00:14:36.97
and them not
automatically judge me
00:14:37.01\00:14:39.11
from that point forward."
00:14:39.14\00:14:40.48
Right.
00:14:40.51\00:14:41.84
I'm really trying
to figure this out.
00:14:41.88\00:14:43.21
Right. So it was very difficult.
00:14:43.24\00:14:44.58
Why not just look at the Bible?
00:14:44.61\00:14:45.95
I mean, why not
just open the Word,
00:14:45.98\00:14:47.35
and, I mean, clearly spills
everything out there for us
00:14:47.38\00:14:50.35
and take your cues from that?
00:14:50.39\00:14:53.09
I mean, to be
honest, I'm not quite sure
00:14:53.12\00:14:55.19
why I didn't go to
the Bible at that point,
00:14:55.22\00:14:57.16
but I feel like you
need more at that point
00:14:57.19\00:14:59.59
is something
relevant in your face,
00:14:59.63\00:15:01.03
you need someone
to just tell you that,
00:15:01.06\00:15:02.40
"I love you," like,
"It's going to be okay."
00:15:02.43\00:15:04.37
The Holy Spirit really
led me on a process of growth
00:15:04.40\00:15:08.44
and conversion to
see God's plan for me,
00:15:08.47\00:15:11.01
but at that point, I
just needed someone to tell me
00:15:11.04\00:15:12.37
it's going to be okay.
00:15:12.41\00:15:13.74
You know...
00:15:13.78\00:15:15.11
Some spiritual community.
00:15:15.14\00:15:16.48
Some spiritual community
like, "It's going to be okay,"
00:15:16.51\00:15:17.85
like, "Your friend
she is going to be okay,
00:15:17.88\00:15:20.12
you know, she is not
going to kill herself,
00:15:20.15\00:15:21.68
or we're going
to support her too,
00:15:21.72\00:15:23.52
we're going to support whatever
you really need right now
00:15:23.55\00:15:25.42
we're going to
support you right you."
00:15:25.45\00:15:26.79
You mentioned earlier
when we before taping that,
00:15:26.82\00:15:30.53
you kept hearing a
voice saying to you
00:15:30.56\00:15:31.89
that this is not you or
something along those sorts,
00:15:31.93\00:15:34.60
and that's what kind
of always put you uneasy
00:15:34.63\00:15:38.03
with the
decisions that you're making
00:15:38.07\00:15:39.40
in your homosexual lifestyle.
00:15:39.43\00:15:41.00
Now let me ask you a question,
00:15:41.04\00:15:42.37
I don't want to take
us too far left field
00:15:42.40\00:15:44.31
when we think about
those who are engaging
00:15:44.34\00:15:45.87
in homosexuality or
in the process of it,
00:15:45.91\00:15:48.18
they may be
having thoughts about it,
00:15:48.21\00:15:49.84
do you think many of
them right now the uneasiness
00:15:49.88\00:15:52.28
that they're feeling
may be their moral compass
00:15:52.31\00:15:54.82
speaking to them and
letting them know this is not
00:15:54.85\00:15:56.69
who they truly are?
00:15:56.72\00:15:58.25
I think that's a
little bit of everything.
00:15:58.29\00:15:59.62
I think what the
society around you
00:15:59.65\00:16:02.39
saying it's not right,
00:16:02.42\00:16:04.39
then there is that
little voice inside you saying,
00:16:04.43\00:16:06.80
you know, "This is
strange, this is foreign."
00:16:06.83\00:16:10.17
Right. Not normal. Right.
00:16:10.20\00:16:11.53
This is not normal.
00:16:11.57\00:16:12.90
And then there's another
part of you that wants to defy,
00:16:12.93\00:16:15.10
you know, a little rebellious,
00:16:15.14\00:16:16.47
you're not that age
or even at any age where,
00:16:16.50\00:16:18.97
you know, you want to be part of
00:16:19.01\00:16:21.84
whatever it is that you admire
00:16:21.88\00:16:23.35
or you want to
be happy, or love,
00:16:23.38\00:16:26.28
and the people that
are giving that to them
00:16:26.31\00:16:28.18
and environment
that you're finding that
00:16:28.22\00:16:29.78
then you're going
to want to stay in.
00:16:29.82\00:16:31.15
Right. And that's
natural for anyone.
00:16:31.19\00:16:32.89
So, you know, I think
it's like a personal discovery
00:16:32.92\00:16:36.59
like God really
impressed on my heart
00:16:36.62\00:16:38.39
that this was not for me.
00:16:38.43\00:16:39.76
Because I do think that
00:16:39.79\00:16:41.13
society does cause
those who are feeling
00:16:41.16\00:16:44.30
and contemplating homosexuality
00:16:44.33\00:16:46.13
to feel like
they can't come out.
00:16:46.17\00:16:47.50
However, in
your case particular,
00:16:47.54\00:16:49.87
you said that you kept
feeling uneasiness about it.
00:16:49.90\00:16:52.47
And, I guess, what
I'm saying is that,
00:16:52.51\00:16:54.21
what I'm thinking about is that
00:16:54.24\00:16:55.58
for those who are feeling
that same feeling that you had,
00:16:55.61\00:16:58.61
maybe if they would
begin to investigate
00:16:58.65\00:17:00.75
and explore it now,
00:17:00.78\00:17:02.12
they wouldn't delve
into the homosexuality
00:17:02.15\00:17:05.25
and things like that and
begin to live that lifestyle out
00:17:05.29\00:17:07.72
if they begin to investigate
00:17:07.76\00:17:09.09
and just kind of
nip it at the root cause
00:17:09.12\00:17:11.13
of what they're feeling now.
00:17:11.16\00:17:12.73
I think that be important
00:17:12.76\00:17:14.10
if you had someone
that you can confide in
00:17:14.13\00:17:15.66
or if you felt in environment
00:17:15.70\00:17:17.03
where you can sort of
talk it out actually hear it,
00:17:17.07\00:17:20.24
sometimes after I
spoke it out loud,
00:17:20.27\00:17:23.07
"This is what I was doing,
this is what I was a part of."
00:17:23.10\00:17:25.21
I really started to say,
00:17:25.24\00:17:26.57
"Wait a second, this was not..."
00:17:26.61\00:17:27.94
You know, I started to
put the dots together and see,
00:17:27.98\00:17:30.98
"What made me start doing this?
00:17:31.01\00:17:32.51
Was this something
I was doing all along?
00:17:32.55\00:17:34.35
No. Was it this
person that I started do it?
00:17:34.38\00:17:37.19
Was I manipulated perhaps?"
00:17:37.22\00:17:40.16
And I do think
that's an important point,
00:17:40.19\00:17:42.42
you know, when you
start to feel uneasy and,
00:17:42.46\00:17:44.06
you know, I believe
that's the Holy Spirit
00:17:44.09\00:17:45.43
really tapping on you
saying, "Something is off."
00:17:45.46\00:17:48.86
You know, I think I
want to say something
00:17:48.90\00:17:50.23
about those
feelings just, you know,
00:17:50.27\00:17:51.93
and I think those
are very important,
00:17:51.97\00:17:53.30
Holy Spirit does,
of course, use those.
00:17:53.34\00:17:55.00
Sometimes though our feelings
can deceive us in a sense
00:17:55.04\00:17:57.97
because it could
be someone out there
00:17:58.01\00:17:59.34
who's in gauging
that and not feeling that.
00:17:59.37\00:18:00.81
Right.
00:18:00.84\00:18:02.18
And so they need to understand
even though you're not feeling
00:18:02.21\00:18:04.75
that this is
wrong or inappropriate,
00:18:04.78\00:18:07.32
there's some principles
you have to look at to say,
00:18:07.35\00:18:09.62
"Okay, if I'm not feeling right,
00:18:09.65\00:18:11.65
but what is the
principle and standard?"
00:18:11.69\00:18:14.16
I think that's a blessing
00:18:14.19\00:18:15.52
that you are able
to get the feeling,
00:18:15.56\00:18:16.89
I know some folk
they just don't feel it,
00:18:16.93\00:18:18.29
and that's what
sometimes they wait for,
00:18:18.33\00:18:19.86
they wait for the feeling
00:18:19.89\00:18:21.40
to kick in then
know what's wrong,
00:18:21.43\00:18:23.00
but it never comes, I
think sometimes feelings...
00:18:23.03\00:18:26.47
I mean, convictions
don't always come in the form,
00:18:26.50\00:18:29.04
I think always a feeling
sometimes it's seem something
00:18:29.07\00:18:32.47
and just becoming
aware in a different sense.
00:18:32.51\00:18:36.08
I think something
else to add onto that
00:18:36.11\00:18:37.48
as far as what
has kind of helped to,
00:18:37.51\00:18:40.62
you know, the Lord
have the room to work
00:18:40.65\00:18:42.48
in this situation
00:18:42.52\00:18:43.85
is just the emphasis on
the type of environment.
00:18:43.89\00:18:46.22
And I know that some of
our churches or some churches
00:18:46.25\00:18:49.06
or some
situations are not conducive
00:18:49.09\00:18:51.79
to be able to be honest and open
00:18:51.83\00:18:54.10
about the real struggles,
00:18:54.13\00:18:55.46
but that's I think the
vision for all of our church,
00:18:55.50\00:18:58.70
but I think
that's even the vision
00:18:58.73\00:19:00.07
for this Pure Choices
00:19:00.10\00:19:01.44
because what we want
is to create a dialogue
00:19:01.47\00:19:04.11
even on the internet
00:19:04.14\00:19:05.47
and wherever where
you can really share
00:19:05.51\00:19:07.34
what you're dealing with,
and what you're going through,
00:19:07.38\00:19:10.25
and that's part of the process
of finding that deliverance.
00:19:10.28\00:19:11.85
To find that spiritual
community even if it's online.
00:19:11.88\00:19:13.65
Even if it's online.
00:19:13.68\00:19:15.02
And I also think, you know,
00:19:15.05\00:19:16.48
we have to stop
compartmentalizing sin.
00:19:16.52\00:19:18.99
You know, we have to stop making
00:19:19.02\00:19:20.42
one sin bigger than the other
00:19:20.46\00:19:21.92
or one sin more
evil than the other.
00:19:21.96\00:19:23.49
It is all sin.
00:19:23.53\00:19:24.86
And God really
had to show me that,
00:19:24.89\00:19:26.36
you know, the person who
lies, they're just like you,
00:19:26.39\00:19:28.93
"You know, you made a mistake,
you sin, you went against Me,
00:19:28.96\00:19:32.60
but I restore you, I
can you make you better,
00:19:32.63\00:19:34.67
I can make you new."
00:19:34.70\00:19:36.04
There's nothing he
can't bring you back from.
00:19:36.07\00:19:37.41
There's nothing he
can bring you back from.
00:19:37.44\00:19:38.77
So I mean, they
say hindsight 2020,
00:19:38.81\00:19:40.34
looking back into the situation.
00:19:40.38\00:19:43.55
I mean, what do you
think the church could do,
00:19:43.58\00:19:45.68
you know, and then what
do you think that individual
00:19:45.71\00:19:48.32
who is in that
situation needs to do, you know?
00:19:48.35\00:19:51.12
Definitely, church has
to show more love towards...
00:19:51.15\00:19:53.66
Openness.
00:19:53.69\00:19:55.02
Openness so that
people can come forward
00:19:55.06\00:19:57.03
doesn't matter what it is.
00:19:57.06\00:19:58.39
You know, I think...
00:19:58.43\00:19:59.76
Whether it's homosexuality,
or immorality, or whatever.
00:19:59.79\00:20:01.13
Homosexuality, or
immorality, or whatever it is
00:20:01.16\00:20:04.10
even if it's just
one specific incident
00:20:04.13\00:20:05.83
or event that happened
00:20:05.87\00:20:07.67
and you're not quite
sure how to deal with it,
00:20:07.70\00:20:09.44
there should be an
outlet for or a venue
00:20:09.47\00:20:11.37
where you can sort of
share this and unpacked it
00:20:11.41\00:20:13.68
without any kind of judgment,
00:20:13.71\00:20:15.44
you know, where you
can even just talk it out,
00:20:15.48\00:20:17.31
and I think
that's really important.
00:20:17.35\00:20:20.28
For people who are
going through this,
00:20:20.32\00:20:21.88
you know, you're not worthless,
00:20:21.92\00:20:25.12
you're not, you know,
there will be life after this.
00:20:25.15\00:20:27.76
God can really
show you happiness
00:20:27.79\00:20:29.22
that you have
not yet experienced.
00:20:29.26\00:20:30.83
And I think what kept
me there for a long time
00:20:30.86\00:20:33.16
or it kept my mind, you know,
00:20:33.19\00:20:35.03
really reeling
from all of it was that,
00:20:35.06\00:20:37.33
okay, I had some
sort of happiness there,
00:20:37.37\00:20:39.60
but it wasn't real it
didn't fit into the real life
00:20:39.63\00:20:43.14
that I really had, it
was this little glimpse
00:20:43.17\00:20:45.54
and the secret place that
00:20:45.57\00:20:46.91
really wasn't
what life was about,
00:20:46.94\00:20:48.84
it wasn't what God
had wanted from me.
00:20:48.88\00:20:51.41
And, you know,
hindsight I'm seeing
00:20:51.45\00:20:53.11
how God has brought me out,
00:20:53.15\00:20:55.02
and seeing what He's
done for me is tremendous,
00:20:55.05\00:20:56.92
and I could have never
seen that in my little hole
00:20:56.95\00:20:58.89
in what I thought
would make me happy.
00:20:58.92\00:21:01.26
So, you know, to trust God
and it's not going to be easy,
00:21:01.29\00:21:04.03
you know, they're
going to be people
00:21:04.06\00:21:05.39
who are going to
look at you different,
00:21:05.43\00:21:06.76
who are going to find you funny,
00:21:06.80\00:21:08.13
but God is able.
00:21:08.16\00:21:09.50
You know, I was
going to just ask Lorraine,
00:21:09.53\00:21:11.43
you know, one other things that,
00:21:11.47\00:21:12.80
you know, where I first heard
00:21:12.83\00:21:14.70
you shared this was
at a Bible conference.
00:21:14.74\00:21:16.57
And I don't know if
that was at the first time
00:21:16.60\00:21:17.94
you've shared it.
00:21:17.97\00:21:19.31
That was the
first time I shared that
00:21:19.34\00:21:20.68
with a larger group of people.
00:21:20.71\00:21:22.04
I've shared it
one-on-one with people
00:21:22.08\00:21:23.41
that I know we're going
through some of the struggles.
00:21:23.45\00:21:24.95
What was it
about that environment
00:21:24.98\00:21:27.35
'cause we talk
about really trying to,
00:21:27.38\00:21:30.32
you know, create an environment
00:21:30.35\00:21:32.95
where people can
actually be open and share...
00:21:32.99\00:21:34.79
What was it about
that Bible conference
00:21:34.82\00:21:36.32
that kind of allowed you to be
00:21:36.36\00:21:37.86
able to feel
comfortable to share?
00:21:37.89\00:21:39.23
I mean, the Holy Spirit
was there, I have to say that.
00:21:39.26\00:21:43.06
And it started opening
00:21:43.10\00:21:44.43
when people
just started sharing.
00:21:44.47\00:21:45.80
You know, it started
even little by little,
00:21:45.83\00:21:47.20
"Man, you know, I'm in
a relationship with a guy,
00:21:47.24\00:21:49.67
and we're doing things that
we really shouldn't be doing."
00:21:49.70\00:21:51.97
And then or, "Man, you know,
00:21:52.01\00:21:53.58
God really brought me
out of this situation."
00:21:53.61\00:21:55.41
You know and I really felt
the Holy Spirit nudging on me
00:21:55.44\00:21:58.55
that "you need to share this."
00:21:58.58\00:21:59.91
Many people share
their testimonies,
00:21:59.95\00:22:01.52
and it seemed like
people were getting heeling.
00:22:01.55\00:22:03.49
And for me I didn't really
feel like I needed healing,
00:22:03.52\00:22:05.35
I actually
thought that I was healed,
00:22:05.39\00:22:06.89
I actually
thought that I was fine,
00:22:06.92\00:22:08.79
but that voice was just
saying, "You need to speak."
00:22:08.82\00:22:10.99
And out of obedience,
00:22:11.03\00:22:12.43
out of just
listening to the voice of God,
00:22:12.46\00:22:14.50
I just shared, you
know, I just shared,
00:22:14.53\00:22:16.13
this is my story,
this is what I went,
00:22:16.16\00:22:18.33
you know, I didn't
need any sort of healing,
00:22:18.37\00:22:19.70
but I need to share.
00:22:19.73\00:22:21.40
And I realized that
through me just being obedient
00:22:21.44\00:22:25.44
it was someone
else's cure for healing.
00:22:25.47\00:22:27.41
It was someone
else's door to say,
00:22:27.44\00:22:30.31
"Okay, I can move pass this
00:22:30.35\00:22:32.48
if I'm struggling
with the same thing
00:22:32.51\00:22:33.85
or I can share my testimony
that something different,
00:22:33.88\00:22:36.48
you know, how
God has blessed me,
00:22:36.52\00:22:37.85
and even if I'm still in it,
He's going to get me out of it,
00:22:37.89\00:22:40.62
and I believe that He's
going to get me out of it."
00:22:40.66\00:22:43.19
I wanted to ask when
you came to that point
00:22:43.22\00:22:46.70
where you are like, you know,
00:22:46.73\00:22:48.06
enough is enough going
back just a little bit,
00:22:48.10\00:22:49.96
and you told your
friend even the second time,
00:22:50.00\00:22:52.10
"Hey, I'm away from that."
00:22:52.13\00:22:53.47
Were you able to
continue your friendship at all?
00:22:53.50\00:22:56.37
For a long time,
I really tried to,
00:22:56.40\00:22:58.04
but I tried for so long
to continue our friendship,
00:22:58.07\00:23:00.98
but it was impossible,
it was impossible to do so.
00:23:01.01\00:23:04.91
And it's something I think
00:23:04.95\00:23:06.28
I still wrestle with to this day
00:23:06.31\00:23:08.08
is that that
friendship was never the same.
00:23:08.12\00:23:11.35
But I blame
myself a lot, you know,
00:23:11.39\00:23:13.05
our church as being on
evangelism almost like,
00:23:13.09\00:23:15.56
we're individual evangelizers,
00:23:15.59\00:23:17.46
you know, we have to
bring people to Christ
00:23:17.49\00:23:19.16
and I kept feeling
like it was my role,
00:23:19.19\00:23:21.10
but I was not
strong enough at that point
00:23:21.13\00:23:23.20
to bring her back.
00:23:23.23\00:23:24.57
I need God to work
on me and, you know,
00:23:24.60\00:23:27.37
I prayed for her all the time
00:23:27.40\00:23:28.97
that God would
just work on her heart,
00:23:29.00\00:23:31.17
and even help her to forgive me,
00:23:31.21\00:23:33.21
forgive me for, you know,
00:23:33.24\00:23:35.44
the hurt that
I've caused or the pain
00:23:35.48\00:23:36.95
that I caused to her
while I was still confused.
00:23:36.98\00:23:40.25
So there was a point though
00:23:40.28\00:23:41.68
because I think
it's important for,
00:23:41.72\00:23:43.65
you know, listeners to know
00:23:43.69\00:23:45.32
that sometimes we
have to separate ourselves
00:23:45.35\00:23:47.46
from the situation.
00:23:47.49\00:23:48.82
Absolutely.
00:23:48.86\00:23:50.19
I mean, the Bible says
that it's like Amos 3:3,
00:23:50.23\00:23:51.73
"Can two walk together unless
they be agree," you know, so...
00:23:51.76\00:23:55.16
As somebody else is
rolling out and help
00:23:55.20\00:23:57.00
bring that person to Christ.
00:23:57.03\00:23:58.37
Right, right.
00:23:58.40\00:23:59.73
And I just think it's probably
because it's the idea of,
00:23:59.77\00:24:02.20
again, we never
show pure choices
00:24:02.24\00:24:04.41
in order for you to
make those other choices
00:24:04.44\00:24:06.84
you had to make a
very difficult choice
00:24:06.88\00:24:08.81
that obviously still today
00:24:08.84\00:24:10.18
obviously what you
knew had to be done,
00:24:10.21\00:24:12.31
was it easy in order for
you to be where, you know,
00:24:12.35\00:24:14.22
where you are today?
00:24:14.25\00:24:15.58
I mean, I was the only
Christian representation
00:24:15.62\00:24:17.05
in that person's life
00:24:17.09\00:24:18.42
and that made it very
hard for me to walk away.
00:24:18.45\00:24:20.22
So I kept thinking
like, what if she's not saved,
00:24:20.26\00:24:22.49
you know, like I want
her to be in having to,
00:24:22.52\00:24:24.63
and how could I
walk away and leave her,
00:24:24.66\00:24:27.10
but God actually showed
me like, "You can do this,
00:24:27.13\00:24:29.50
I will just take
care of it, just trust Me,
00:24:29.53\00:24:31.40
we're going to get to a
place that's better than this."
00:24:31.43\00:24:33.70
And I didn't see that at first,
00:24:33.74\00:24:35.07
I fought it for
a very long time,
00:24:35.10\00:24:36.44
but, you know, looking
back and I can definitely see
00:24:36.47\00:24:38.57
that's what God
has brought me to.
00:24:38.61\00:24:39.94
Lorraine, how is
the life now for you?
00:24:39.97\00:24:42.64
It's good.
00:24:42.68\00:24:44.58
You know, I've really seen
how God has brought me through,
00:24:44.61\00:24:47.95
He has given me
a new self-image,
00:24:47.98\00:24:49.72
and, you know,
I'm not so concerned,
00:24:49.75\00:24:51.49
I have no secrets.
00:24:51.52\00:24:52.85
And that's like a great feeling
00:24:52.89\00:24:54.22
to know that God has blessed me,
00:24:54.26\00:24:55.59
and He's going to use
me, and it's not easy,
00:24:55.62\00:24:57.79
you know, I still
sometimes get scared
00:24:57.83\00:24:59.56
about being associated
with this or with that,
00:24:59.59\00:25:02.46
but I want to be in heaven so.
00:25:02.50\00:25:05.23
You know, I firmly believe
you have nothing to be ashamed
00:25:05.27\00:25:07.00
of which you
got victory over it.
00:25:07.04\00:25:08.37
Absolutely.
00:25:08.40\00:25:09.74
You know, as God
gives you victory,
00:25:09.77\00:25:11.11
"Listen, I'm not ashamed,
you know, this is who I was,
00:25:11.14\00:25:13.27
this is where I
was," and God, He restores.
00:25:13.31\00:25:16.75
The Bible clearly says He
makes all things beautiful
00:25:16.78\00:25:18.98
in His time.
00:25:19.01\00:25:20.35
So though I might have made
some mistakes, and messed up,
00:25:20.38\00:25:22.25
if I just placed my life
in the hands of the master,
00:25:22.28\00:25:25.82
He will make me, you
know, into His image.
00:25:25.85\00:25:27.82
And I think that's
perfect to understand
00:25:27.86\00:25:29.56
because God will
send people to love you
00:25:29.59\00:25:32.16
in spite of all of that,
00:25:32.19\00:25:33.53
and I think for a
long time I believe that
00:25:33.56\00:25:34.90
no one would
love me because of it,
00:25:34.93\00:25:36.67
and people know
and love me anyway,
00:25:36.70\00:25:38.40
and that's like
a beautiful thing
00:25:38.43\00:25:40.07
they know
exactly what I've done,
00:25:40.10\00:25:41.57
and they love me anyway
because I'm not the same.
00:25:41.60\00:25:43.74
So if you could in the
last few moments we have,
00:25:43.77\00:25:46.17
somebody is in
your situation right now
00:25:46.21\00:25:48.21
or something similar
00:25:48.24\00:25:49.58
whether it's be being
because they pulled in,
00:25:49.61\00:25:51.08
maybe some others
things have happened,
00:25:51.11\00:25:52.48
they've just
experiment making their choice,
00:25:52.51\00:25:54.08
what's their first step?
00:25:54.12\00:25:55.55
What do they do to make sure
00:25:55.58\00:25:57.99
they don't get
caught up in more of a cycle
00:25:58.02\00:25:59.92
so it becomes increasingly
different to get out?
00:25:59.95\00:26:01.89
Definitely pray, and
ask God for some peace.
00:26:01.92\00:26:05.03
I think separating yourself
00:26:05.06\00:26:06.39
from the
situation even temporarily,
00:26:06.43\00:26:08.36
you know, to get
that little window
00:26:08.40\00:26:09.80
so that Holy Spirit
can really speak to you
00:26:09.83\00:26:12.33
is really imperative.
00:26:12.37\00:26:13.70
I think I needed
that little break of time,
00:26:13.74\00:26:15.80
and I think God will really,
00:26:15.84\00:26:17.74
He will really show you
what you need to do next.
00:26:17.77\00:26:20.38
I think more importantly,
00:26:20.41\00:26:21.74
I want to speak to those
that are around those people,
00:26:21.78\00:26:23.65
sometimes, you know,
I've seen people suspect
00:26:23.68\00:26:25.68
that certain
things are going on,
00:26:25.71\00:26:27.22
don't talk about those people,
00:26:27.25\00:26:28.58
you know, really
just encourage them,
00:26:28.62\00:26:30.02
and love on them as God
really works through them
00:26:30.05\00:26:32.85
because everybody's moment
00:26:32.89\00:26:34.22
with the Holy
Spirit is different
00:26:34.26\00:26:36.22
and they got to
get there on their own.
00:26:36.26\00:26:38.03
You know, that reminds me
00:26:38.06\00:26:39.39
nothing I think I said last week
00:26:39.43\00:26:41.30
when we we're
talking about this that
00:26:41.33\00:26:43.20
the church's response
should be one of the God judges,
00:26:43.23\00:26:46.74
the Holy Spirit
convicts, and the church loves.
00:26:46.77\00:26:50.14
You know, and if the church
would just do that just love,
00:26:50.17\00:26:52.37
you know, regardless of
what's your issue, your sin,
00:26:52.41\00:26:54.34
your stumble, your mistake,
00:26:54.38\00:26:56.54
"Yeah, we love you
00:26:56.58\00:26:57.91
and we're going to
love you back into Christ."
00:26:57.95\00:27:00.58
And a lot of
times, unfortunately,
00:27:00.62\00:27:01.95
we look at love as though
00:27:01.98\00:27:03.49
I accept
everything you do, right.
00:27:03.52\00:27:05.62
And love is not I
accept everything you do, no,
00:27:05.65\00:27:07.96
I mean, love is I see
you in spite of what you do,
00:27:07.99\00:27:12.03
I see you as God sees you,
and God sees you as a child,
00:27:12.06\00:27:15.73
you know, he sees you
as what you are to become.
00:27:15.76\00:27:18.30
I thank you for
being here. Thank you.
00:27:18.33\00:27:20.04
I pray God for how
He's delivered you,
00:27:20.07\00:27:21.54
and I know that
through your testimony,
00:27:21.57\00:27:22.90
He will deliver others.
00:27:22.94\00:27:24.27
Praise God.
00:27:24.31\00:27:25.64
We pray that you
are blessed today,
00:27:25.67\00:27:27.01
we want you to follow us
on Facebook, go to Facebook,
00:27:27.04\00:27:28.51
type in Pure Choices if you
have a question for Lorraine,
00:27:28.54\00:27:30.58
we'll make sure she
answers your questions
00:27:30.61\00:27:32.25
for more
conversation and dialogue.
00:27:32.28\00:27:34.22
Listen, we'll see you
next week, be blessed, and,
00:27:34.25\00:27:37.82
you know, we just
praise God for you.
00:27:37.85\00:27:39.39
Bye-bye.
00:27:39.42\00:27:40.76