Welcome to Pure Choices.
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I'm so glad that
you decided to join us
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for another episode
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where we're going to be
dealing with another hot topic
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but yet a very serious topic.
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Now you know that if you've
been with us all season long,
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we've been dealing with
our sexuality and our sex.
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And how God created us,
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and how we can
strive to make pure choices.
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Today, we're going to have
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a continuation of
a previous episode,
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part two actually, of episode
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where we dealt
with homosexuality.
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But before we
get into this topic,
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I want to just take a moment
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and just introduce
you again to my colleagues
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and a very special guest
that we have with us today.
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We have again here with us,
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my brother Pastor Alfonzo Greene
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who is at First SDA
Church in Huntsville, Alabama.
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And then we
have a special guest,
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we may be hearing more from her,
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Ms Lorraine Alexis who
comes to us from Nashville,
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Tennessee.
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And she is a second
year medical student
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there in Nashville.
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We have with us again
and we're glad she's here,
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Miss Sabrina Etienne
who as well is a student
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at Southern Adventist
University in Collegedale,
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Tennessee area
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and she's getting her
master's in clinical counseling.
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And then we have my
brother Pastor Michael B. Kelly
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who comes to us all the
way from Riverside, California
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from the Mt.
Rubidoux SDA church.
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And I am your host
Pastor Seth Yelorda.
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And I'm glad to be here.
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Today, we want to continue
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with where we left off last week
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with homosexuality.
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And I just want
to take a moment,
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just to kind of recap
for those of our viewers
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who are here for the first time
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and they didn't catch last week.
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Last week, we
talked about homosexuality.
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I know,
specifically we dealt with,
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is it right or is it wrong,
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you know, where does
the Bible stand with it.
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What does society
say about homosexuality,
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what are some other areas
that we deal with last week
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when we talked
about homosexuality?
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Yeah, I think one of
the main was we found
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which connected to another topic
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when we discussed the idea
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of how the media
plays a part in sexuality.
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And we said, "Now we see it
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being more
prevalent on TV shows."
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So now it's opposed to
becoming something that's,
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you know, abnormal or something
like that or different.
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Now becomes more than
normal, more comfortable.
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So it's more than
comfortable environment.
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Right, right.
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Yeah, I mean and
we also, you know,
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just was talking about
you know nature versus nurture
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and just really kind...
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If you're born
this way versus...
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If you're born
this way versus...
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Right, it just kind
of really unpacked it,
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you know, just try to
impact that for the viewers.
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And so, you
know, this really just,
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and it is trying to
get some clear counsel
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from the Word of God.
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Yeah, now we know like
homosexuality is prevalent.
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I mean, it's becoming
more and more prevalent.
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I mean, not just in society
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but in the
church we're seeing it.
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And today, we have a
very special guest with us,
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Lorraine Alexis.
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And Lorraine has a
very interesting story
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about her own experience
with homosexual lifestyles.
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So I was going to turn
it, Lorraine, just you know,
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I thank you for being here.
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And I thank you for you willing
to be open and transparent.
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I believe that someone's
going to be blessed and healed,
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they get victory
from this episode.
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And so just share with us,
you know, briefly your story
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where you've come from
and where God has brought you.
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I mean, wow, thank you so much.
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When we talk
about homosexuality,
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it's such a big word.
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And I think growing up,
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I always associate homosexuality
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with the psych thing
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that you started
to do something bad,
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if something really
bad happened to you,
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people often equated it
with after being molested,
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or abused, or if your
father wasn't in the home,
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you know, you had to go through
a really traumatic experience
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to find yourself there.
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And for me, that
was quite the opposite.
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I grew up in a Christian
home, both parents in the home
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who took us to
church, who prayed with us,
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who just loved on us.
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Sabbath school, you
name it, pathfinders,
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also part of everything.
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So on the outside,
it wouldn't seem that
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I would be a part
of something like that.
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There with you like
there's no reason for you to...
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There was no
reason for it, right.
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Even though the media
gave its cues that sometimes,
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you know, to make
things easy or open,
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you know, at
first I still thought
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it was not something for me.
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And my experience
began when I was 16.
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I was in high school.
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And my best friend,
me and her became friends
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through mutual sports
that we played in school.
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And we're really best friends
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for maybe about two
or three years before,
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you know, during this process
basically of what happened.
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Was it a public
school or Christian school?
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This is a public school.
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I went to public
school all along.
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And, you know, we
were friends and at first,
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nothing became of it.
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You know, we were
just really good friends,
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went through a lot
of things together.
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And, you know,
there came a point
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where little by little,
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the topic of experimentation
started coming into play.
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And at the time, you know,
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it started to
become like a little craze
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that people would
experiment, find things,
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you know, I kissed
a girl and I liked it.
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And so when you saw
the people doing things,
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you know, we could do it too.
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Let's just try.
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And that was sort of the way
she initiated certain things.
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So let's just try, this is fun.
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And of course, at first, it was,
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you know, weird and I
didn't want to be a part of it.
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But little by
little, just like anything
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you start for the
first time, you keep going.
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You keep, "Oh,
it means really...
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It doesn't mean
anything really."
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You know, there wasn't labels
or no names that we gave it,
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but little by little,
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it started become
a lot more serious.
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She started to
develop feelings for me.
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I didn't really
know how to handle it,
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she was my best friend,
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I didn't want to let
her down or disappoint her.
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So I continued, I kept up.
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And...
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Can I ask a question?
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This was your first
experience sexually.
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Was this her first experience?
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I really didn't know.
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As we were going through it,
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I believe that it
was the first time.
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I mean, later on, you know,
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she later disclosed to me
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that she had been struggling
with it for a long time,
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but I never really knew.
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But it was
definitely my first time
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even being a part of that.
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So what happened as
you continued to progress?
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Yeah, little by
little, we continued.
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And the relationship
actually started to develop,
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we actually gave each
other titles as girlfriend.
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You became open at
this point. Actually, no.
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We kept this very
private, no one really knew.
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We had one friend
that we really confided in
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who kind of knew
what was going on,
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but we never told anyone.
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Our parents never
suspected anything,
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if we would spend time together
because we were best friends,
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our parents expected
us to spend time together
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and hang out.
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They had no
problem with sleepovers
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and not knowing where
we were for days on ends
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because they never
thought or suspected
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anything that was going on.
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So it continued for months.
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Yeah, I was just going to ask,
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you know, one of the
things Lorraine that,
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you know, just kind
of society you know,
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pretty much people feel like
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you know, if you're engaging
in this type of relationship,
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that there has to be
some type of inclination,
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were you like at
any point before this
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attracted to
people of the same sex
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or anything like that,
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that's just kind
of a common you know,
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assumption that people make.
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Was that true in your situation?
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Absolutely not.
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I never had an inclination
prior to that experience.
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Even while it was going
on, I still have those moments.
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I was like, "Ew, you
know, what am I doing?"
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But when you have someone
there that you do care about,
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you know, sometimes you kind
of push those little feelings
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to the side and say,
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"It doesn't
really mean anything.
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I can try or I've
already done this,
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so I might as well keep going.
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I might as well continue."
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So you know, no. I
didn't have an inclination.
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It become monogamous friendship.
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Just friendship.
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It's amazing that it
can start from there.
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It just started as friendship
and you know, at first,
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it started out blazing,
you know, experimentation.
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It's cool, it's what's going on
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and it became a lot more serious
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as time progressed.
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As you progress, you know,
how did you come to victory,
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like what was the process?
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So I think like I
said all along, you know,
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I did have that
feeling knowing that
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I shouldn't be a part of this,
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you know, I
still went to church.
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I still...
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Sometimes, she would
come to church with me
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or you know, we still
opened Sabbath as a family.
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So my parents...
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You know, she'd
be around my family.
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And it happened to take one day
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where I happened to
go to the Sabbath school.
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And the Sabbath school teacher
was talking about homosexuality
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and how it was an abomination,
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and within about
three or four minutes
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into the lesson,
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I immediately felt this burning
inside of me knowing that,
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"Oh, my goodness!"
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Like this is for me.
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I cannot be a part of this,
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and I literally ran out
the church just in tears,
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just crying,
crying, crying in the car.
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I was thinking to
myself, "How did I get this far?
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You know, months have gone
by, almost a year has gone by,
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"How did I get this far?"
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And I remember that day,
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you know, just
really praying like,
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"God, help me get out.
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I'm going to get out, right now.
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I'm out" And that
day, I called my friend
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and explained to her that,
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you know, this
could go on no longer
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and it was devastating.
00:09:01.24\00:09:04.17
Let me ask this.
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When you were going
through the relationship,
00:09:05.57\00:09:07.94
and was still going back
and forth to church and around,
00:09:07.98\00:09:10.78
you know, other church
people and things like that.
00:09:10.81\00:09:13.65
I know you said you felt
like something wasn't right.
00:09:13.68\00:09:16.99
Did you not feel comfortable
to confide in somebody else
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because of the way you
heard maybe other people
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responding to individuals
who were in the same situation,
00:09:21.86\00:09:25.59
like because you said
there's one friend you confided,
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and I'm wondering,
was that friend somebody
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who was trying
to help you out or,
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you know, was there...
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were you not
comfortable because of the way
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maybe you felt like you
would have been received
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if someone knew what
you were going through?
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Right, first off, the
friend was not a friend
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who was part of the church.
00:09:40.48\00:09:41.94
So I think at times,
00:09:41.98\00:09:43.31
actually encouraged the
relationship to continue.
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So they didn't
really enforce or suggest
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that maybe you should stop.
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If I was feeling any way,
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you know, they
would sort of say,
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"Well, you feel like this
today but tomorrow may change,"
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you know.
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We like the two of you
together or something like that.
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At the time, I
really would never
00:10:00.83\00:10:02.63
have thought of
coming out in the church
00:10:02.66\00:10:04.03
because A, I had not
admitted it to myself
00:10:04.07\00:10:07.34
that I was a part of this.
00:10:07.37\00:10:08.70
Why should I say something,
you know, inside the church?
00:10:08.74\00:10:11.44
Then I would be forever
labeled as being a part of this
00:10:11.47\00:10:14.34
and that's not
something I was ready to do.
00:10:14.38\00:10:16.98
I had not admitted it to myself.
00:10:17.01\00:10:19.38
And I could see how the church,
00:10:19.41\00:10:20.78
even just society views
people that are part of this.
00:10:20.82\00:10:24.82
You know, they're
unclean, and dirty,
00:10:24.85\00:10:26.65
and they're almost
contagious by all means.
00:10:26.69\00:10:29.72
Stay away. Stay away.
00:10:29.76\00:10:31.36
So why would I tell
the people in my church,
00:10:31.39\00:10:33.13
you know, who
already carry those views.
00:10:33.16\00:10:35.30
And so most people that I
actually do feel were family,
00:10:35.33\00:10:37.80
you know, I didn't want
them to see me any different.
00:10:37.83\00:10:39.83
I didn't want them
to look at me as though,
00:10:39.87\00:10:42.30
you know, I
wasn't the same anymore.
00:10:42.34\00:10:43.94
You said something that
really sparked question for me.
00:10:43.97\00:10:48.14
You said you did
admit to yourself
00:10:48.18\00:10:50.51
almost like you had
a hard time with it.
00:10:50.55\00:10:51.88
Can you unpack that,
that sounds real powerful like
00:10:51.91\00:10:53.68
you're in something
00:10:53.72\00:10:55.05
but you said I
couldn't admit it to myself,
00:10:55.08\00:10:56.99
therefore, I
didn't get, you know,
00:10:57.02\00:10:59.02
maybe some extra help.
00:10:59.05\00:11:00.39
Can you unpack that
maybe? Yeah, absolutely.
00:11:00.42\00:11:01.92
I mean, you're doing something,
and you being something,
00:11:01.96\00:11:05.19
that's two
different things, you know.
00:11:05.23\00:11:07.10
I can take
something from a store
00:11:07.13\00:11:09.53
but I may not be a stealer.
00:11:09.56\00:11:11.63
I mean, I don't want to be
called somebody who steals.
00:11:11.67\00:11:14.60
So it's easy to do one
task and do the next task,
00:11:14.64\00:11:17.91
and go to this place
00:11:17.94\00:11:19.27
and hold hands with this person.
00:11:19.31\00:11:20.74
But if now all of a
sudden, you give me a title
00:11:20.78\00:11:23.45
that means that I'm associated
with all these other people
00:11:23.48\00:11:25.95
that I don't want
to associate with,
00:11:25.98\00:11:28.45
or I don't feel they
share the same characteristics
00:11:28.48\00:11:30.62
as I do, it's very difficult.
00:11:30.65\00:11:32.55
You know, that's similar
to what we see taking place
00:11:32.59\00:11:35.09
in society where you have
especially men who will say,
00:11:35.12\00:11:38.99
"I'm not homosexual, I just
like sleeping with other men."
00:11:39.03\00:11:42.03
You know, it's like
that whole down low epidemic
00:11:42.06\00:11:44.03
that's taking place.
00:11:44.07\00:11:45.40
You know, so
they compartmentalize,
00:11:45.43\00:11:46.77
"No, I'm not homosexual, I
just like to sleep with men,
00:11:46.80\00:11:49.40
but I'm not homosexual."
00:11:49.44\00:11:50.77
One thing I think
that's powerful though,
00:11:50.81\00:11:52.14
Lorraine, that you shared
00:11:52.17\00:11:53.51
though is I think
it was the realization
00:11:53.54\00:11:54.88
when she went to that
Sabbath school class that day,
00:11:54.91\00:11:57.48
like where you were
trying to compartmentalize
00:11:57.51\00:12:00.52
these two different things.
00:12:00.55\00:12:01.88
It's kind of when
you brought it together,
00:12:01.92\00:12:03.52
it was like, you know what?
00:12:03.55\00:12:04.89
"Man, the Lord is
speaking to me about this."
00:12:04.92\00:12:08.36
Once you embrace that,
because as you were denying it,
00:12:08.39\00:12:11.19
it still have power over you.
00:12:11.23\00:12:12.56
But once you embraced it,
00:12:12.59\00:12:14.23
then it opened the door for God
00:12:14.26\00:12:15.86
to come in and to
actually begin the process
00:12:15.90\00:12:18.93
of deliverance in your life.
00:12:18.97\00:12:20.80
What did that process look like?
00:12:20.84\00:12:22.20
So you went to Sabbath school.
00:12:22.24\00:12:23.77
They told you, you heard
00:12:23.81\00:12:25.14
the Sabbath school
teacher talking about it.
00:12:25.17\00:12:26.51
You went out, you
called your friend,
00:12:26.54\00:12:27.88
you know, and your
friend gave you some flak.
00:12:27.91\00:12:29.78
From there, I mean, was
it just like cut and dry,
00:12:29.81\00:12:32.55
it was over, you're done?
00:12:32.58\00:12:34.08
Did you cut the friend
off, like what was the...?
00:12:34.12\00:12:35.92
Not at all.
00:12:35.95\00:12:37.29
Like I said, this was the
beginning of sorrow for me.
00:12:37.32\00:12:40.12
And my friend, you
know, she was just so hurt
00:12:40.16\00:12:42.29
and so upset that
I had decided this.
00:12:42.32\00:12:44.73
You know, she cursed the
church from left to right,
00:12:44.76\00:12:47.90
you know, told me I
was foolish and crazy.
00:12:47.93\00:12:49.80
All of a sudden, I
was being brainwashed.
00:12:49.83\00:12:51.97
Why can't I listen anymore?
00:12:52.00\00:12:54.40
She became
depressed, I became depressed.
00:12:54.44\00:12:56.97
It was just a cycle of abuse,
of threatening, of you know,
00:12:57.01\00:13:00.54
almost attempted
suicide at one point.
00:13:00.58\00:13:02.84
She, you know, she threatened me
00:13:02.88\00:13:04.21
that if I would not change,
that she would kill herself.
00:13:04.25\00:13:06.85
And that took, you
know, a really big toll on me,
00:13:06.88\00:13:09.15
and actually put me
in a moment of remission
00:13:09.18\00:13:11.22
where I started to
say, "Okay, I'm sorry."
00:13:11.25\00:13:13.49
Like I didn't mean that,
00:13:13.52\00:13:14.86
you know, we can go back
to how things would work.
00:13:14.89\00:13:16.69
Kind of relapse.
00:13:16.73\00:13:18.06
I mean, it took
several months for me
00:13:18.09\00:13:19.56
even just to come
back and say, "Okay, no.
00:13:19.59\00:13:21.93
I really have
to go back to this.
00:13:21.96\00:13:23.67
You know, I don't
know what's going to happen
00:13:23.70\00:13:25.83
but I know that
I can't stay here."
00:13:25.87\00:13:28.40
And, you know, I
had an opportunity
00:13:28.44\00:13:29.77
to be baptized shortly after.
00:13:29.80\00:13:31.37
And for me that was
like a great big step saying,
00:13:31.41\00:13:34.01
"I'm not going back to this.
00:13:34.04\00:13:35.44
You know, this is over for me."
00:13:35.48\00:13:37.68
And that did not
change for my friend.
00:13:37.71\00:13:39.45
You know that was just a symbol,
00:13:39.48\00:13:40.82
it meant nothing to her.
00:13:40.85\00:13:42.18
She was still
trying to convince me
00:13:42.22\00:13:43.55
that I need to come back.
00:13:43.59\00:13:44.92
I need to do this again.
00:13:44.95\00:13:46.29
And, you know, she was
just so motional about it
00:13:46.32\00:13:49.49
and it brought my
motions down in...
00:13:49.52\00:13:51.19
Like I said, she
was my best friend.
00:13:51.23\00:13:52.59
So I didn't know
how to handle it.
00:13:52.63\00:13:53.96
I didn't want to
lose her friendship.
00:13:54.00\00:13:55.50
So it was a very
tough time for me.
00:13:55.53\00:13:57.90
And I think afterward,
00:13:57.93\00:13:59.63
it really impacted me in ways
I really had not understood.
00:13:59.67\00:14:03.14
I had a lot of issues
with self image and worth,
00:14:03.17\00:14:07.54
you know, if I
was unclean, you know,
00:14:07.58\00:14:09.58
our church puts a
nice big veil over
00:14:09.61\00:14:11.75
how young women
should be and I was like,
00:14:11.78\00:14:13.85
"Man, I'm not that girl anymore.
00:14:13.88\00:14:15.55
How, you know, will
someone love me?" Wow.
00:14:15.58\00:14:19.15
And also a struggle about
00:14:19.19\00:14:21.29
who I really was like
did I always like women?
00:14:21.32\00:14:24.56
Did I...
00:14:24.59\00:14:25.93
Was this something I was
naturally inclined to do,
00:14:25.96\00:14:27.46
you know.
00:14:27.50\00:14:28.83
So there was
that confusion there.
00:14:28.86\00:14:30.20
Extreme confusion
00:14:30.23\00:14:31.57
and who do you
talk about this with,
00:14:31.60\00:14:33.34
you know, you're 16 years old,
00:14:33.37\00:14:34.70
you're like how do I
discuss it with someone
00:14:34.74\00:14:36.97
and them not
automatically judge me
00:14:37.01\00:14:39.84
from that point forward.
00:14:39.87\00:14:41.21
I'm really trying
to figure this out,
00:14:41.24\00:14:43.38
so it was very difficult.
00:14:43.41\00:14:44.75
Why not just look to the Bible?
00:14:44.78\00:14:46.11
I mean, why not just
open the word and I mean,
00:14:46.15\00:14:48.18
clearly spells
everything out there for us
00:14:48.22\00:14:50.39
and take your cues from that?
00:14:50.42\00:14:53.05
I mean, to be
honest I'm not quite sure
00:14:53.09\00:14:55.12
why I didn't go to
the Bible at that point,
00:14:55.16\00:14:57.16
but I feel what you
need more at that point
00:14:57.19\00:14:59.39
is something
relevant in your face.
00:14:59.43\00:15:00.76
You need someone
00:15:00.80\00:15:02.13
that just tell
you that I love you,
00:15:02.16\00:15:03.50
like it's going to be okay,
00:15:03.53\00:15:04.87
like the Holy
Spirit really led me
00:15:04.90\00:15:06.23
on a process of
growth and conversion
00:15:06.27\00:15:09.30
to see God's plan for me.
00:15:09.34\00:15:10.94
But at that point I just
needed someone to tell me
00:15:10.97\00:15:13.24
it's going to be
okay, you know, like...
00:15:13.27\00:15:14.61
Some spiritual community.
00:15:14.64\00:15:15.98
Some spiritual
community to be like,
00:15:16.01\00:15:17.35
it's going to be okay,
00:15:17.38\00:15:18.71
like your friend,
she's going to be okay,
00:15:18.75\00:15:20.18
You know, she's not
going to kill herself
00:15:20.22\00:15:21.72
or we're going
to support her too,
00:15:21.75\00:15:23.59
we're going to support whatever
you really need right now
00:15:23.62\00:15:25.42
we're going to
support you right now.
00:15:25.45\00:15:26.79
You mentioned earlier
00:15:26.82\00:15:28.16
when we were before taping that.
00:15:28.19\00:15:30.53
You kept hearing a
voice saying to you
00:15:30.56\00:15:31.89
that this is not you or
something along those sorts
00:15:31.93\00:15:34.73
and that's what kind
of always put you uneasy
00:15:34.76\00:15:37.77
with the decisions
00:15:37.80\00:15:39.13
that you're making in
your homosexual lifestyle.
00:15:39.17\00:15:41.00
Now let me ask you a question,
00:15:41.04\00:15:42.37
I don't want to take
us too far left field.
00:15:42.40\00:15:44.17
When you think about those
00:15:44.21\00:15:45.54
who are
engaging in homosexuality
00:15:45.57\00:15:46.91
or in the process of it,
00:15:46.94\00:15:48.28
they may be
having thoughts about it.
00:15:48.31\00:15:49.71
Do you think many of
them right now the uneasiness
00:15:49.74\00:15:52.18
that they're feeling
maybe their moral compass
00:15:52.21\00:15:54.85
speaking to them
and letting them know
00:15:54.88\00:15:56.25
this is not who they truly are.
00:15:56.28\00:15:58.19
I think it's a
little bit of everything.
00:15:58.22\00:15:59.55
I think one, it's
society around you saying
00:15:59.59\00:16:02.72
it's not right,
00:16:02.76\00:16:04.36
then there's a little
voice inside you saying,
00:16:04.39\00:16:06.63
you know, I'm not you...
00:16:06.66\00:16:08.00
this is
strange, this is foreign.
00:16:08.03\00:16:10.13
Not normal, right.
00:16:10.17\00:16:11.50
This is not normal
00:16:11.53\00:16:12.87
and then there's
that other part of you
00:16:12.90\00:16:14.24
that wants to defy,
00:16:14.27\00:16:15.60
you know, a little
rebellious you know at that age
00:16:15.64\00:16:17.27
or even at any age
00:16:17.31\00:16:18.71
where you know
you want to be part of
00:16:18.74\00:16:21.78
whatever it is that you
admire or you want to be happy,
00:16:21.81\00:16:25.58
you're loved and the
people that are giving that to
00:16:25.61\00:16:28.25
and the environment
that you're finding that
00:16:28.28\00:16:29.65
then you're going
to want to stay in
00:16:29.68\00:16:31.15
and that's natural for anyone.
00:16:31.19\00:16:32.92
So, you know, I think
it's like a personal discovery
00:16:32.95\00:16:36.59
like God really
impressed on my heart
00:16:36.62\00:16:38.46
that this was not for me.
00:16:38.49\00:16:39.83
Because I just think
that society does cause
00:16:39.86\00:16:43.40
those who are feeling and
contemplating homosexuality
00:16:43.43\00:16:46.10
to feel like
they can't come out,
00:16:46.13\00:16:47.47
however in your case particular
00:16:47.50\00:16:49.94
you said that you kept
feeling uneasiness about it
00:16:49.97\00:16:52.54
and I guess what
I'm saying is that,
00:16:52.57\00:16:54.18
what I'm thinking
about is that for those
00:16:54.21\00:16:56.18
who are feeling that
same feeling that you had,
00:16:56.21\00:16:58.65
maybe if they would
begin to investigate
00:16:58.68\00:17:00.72
and explore it now,
00:17:00.75\00:17:02.08
they wouldn't delve
into the homosexuality
00:17:02.12\00:17:05.22
and things like that and
begin to live that lifestyle out
00:17:05.25\00:17:07.69
if they begin to investigate
and just kind of nip it
00:17:07.72\00:17:09.82
at the root cause of
what they're feeling now.
00:17:09.86\00:17:12.59
I think that would be
important if you had someone
00:17:12.63\00:17:14.63
that you can confide in
or you felt an environment
00:17:14.66\00:17:16.77
where you can
sort of talk it out
00:17:16.80\00:17:19.07
and actually hear it.
00:17:19.10\00:17:20.44
Sometimes after I
spoke it out loud,
00:17:20.47\00:17:23.07
this is what I was doing,
this is what I was a part of.
00:17:23.10\00:17:25.27
I really started
to say, wait a second,
00:17:25.31\00:17:26.88
this was not, you know, I
start to put the dots together
00:17:26.91\00:17:30.21
and see what made
me start doing this?
00:17:30.25\00:17:32.48
Was this something I
was doing all along? No.
00:17:32.51\00:17:34.68
Was it this person
that I started doing,
00:17:34.72\00:17:36.45
did I feel, was I
manipulated perhaps,
00:17:36.48\00:17:40.16
and I do think
that's an important point,
00:17:40.19\00:17:42.39
you know, when you
start to feel uneasy
00:17:42.42\00:17:43.86
and you know I
believe that's the Holy Spirit
00:17:43.89\00:17:45.46
really tapping on you
saying something is off.
00:17:45.49\00:17:48.86
You know, but I do want to say
something about those feelings,
00:17:48.90\00:17:50.80
just, you know, I think
those are very important,
00:17:50.83\00:17:53.03
the Holy Spirit
does of course use those.
00:17:53.07\00:17:54.97
Sometimes though our feelings
can deceive us in a sense
00:17:55.00\00:17:58.14
because it could
be someone out there
00:17:58.17\00:17:59.51
who's engage in that
and not feeling that...
00:17:59.54\00:18:00.88
Right.
00:18:00.91\00:18:02.24
And so they need to understand
even though you're not feeling
00:18:02.28\00:18:04.75
that this is
wrong or inappropriate,
00:18:04.78\00:18:07.32
there's some principles
you have to look at to say,
00:18:07.35\00:18:09.65
okay, if I'm not feeling right
00:18:09.68\00:18:11.72
but what is the
principle in standing there.
00:18:11.75\00:18:14.09
I think that's a blessing
00:18:14.12\00:18:15.46
that you are
able get the feeling.
00:18:15.49\00:18:16.83
I know some folk,
they just don't feel it
00:18:16.86\00:18:18.26
and that's what
sometimes they wait for,
00:18:18.29\00:18:19.89
they wait for the
feeling to kick in,
00:18:19.93\00:18:22.20
they know that it's all
wrong, but it never comes,
00:18:22.23\00:18:24.33
I think sometimes
feelings of conviction,
00:18:24.37\00:18:26.47
I mean,
convictions don't always come
00:18:26.50\00:18:27.87
in the form I
think always a feeling.
00:18:27.90\00:18:30.21
Sometimes it's seen something
00:18:30.24\00:18:32.41
and just becoming
aware in a different sense.
00:18:32.44\00:18:36.04
I think something else
to add on to that as far
00:18:36.08\00:18:37.85
as what has kind of helped to,
00:18:37.88\00:18:40.65
you know, the Lord
to have the room to work
00:18:40.68\00:18:42.45
in the situation
is just the emphasis
00:18:42.48\00:18:44.55
on the type of environment.
00:18:44.59\00:18:46.29
And I know that
some of our churches
00:18:46.32\00:18:48.02
or some churches
or some situations
00:18:48.06\00:18:50.53
are not conducive
to be able to be honest
00:18:50.56\00:18:53.26
and open about
the real struggles
00:18:53.29\00:18:55.43
but that's I think the
vision for all of our church,
00:18:55.46\00:18:58.63
but I think
that's even the vision
00:18:58.67\00:19:00.00
for this pure choices
00:19:00.04\00:19:01.44
because what we want
is to create a dialogue
00:19:01.47\00:19:04.01
even on the
internet and whatever
00:19:04.04\00:19:05.57
where you can really
share what you're dealing with,
00:19:05.61\00:19:08.78
what you're going through
and that's part of the process
00:19:08.81\00:19:10.55
of getting that deliverance.
00:19:10.58\00:19:11.91
And getting that
spiritual community
00:19:11.95\00:19:13.28
even if it's online.
00:19:13.31\00:19:14.65
Even if it's online.
00:19:14.68\00:19:16.02
And I also think, you know,
00:19:16.05\00:19:17.39
we have to stop
compartmentalizing sin,
00:19:17.42\00:19:18.82
you know, we have to stop
00:19:18.85\00:19:20.19
making one sin
bigger than the other
00:19:20.22\00:19:21.96
or one sin more
evil than the other.
00:19:21.99\00:19:23.46
It is, it is all sin and
God really have to show me
00:19:23.49\00:19:26.09
that you know
the person who lies,
00:19:26.13\00:19:28.00
they're just like you,
you know, you made a mistake,
00:19:28.03\00:19:30.37
you've sinned,
you went against me,
00:19:30.40\00:19:32.50
but I can restore
you, I can make you better,
00:19:32.53\00:19:34.57
I can make you new.
00:19:34.60\00:19:35.94
There's nothing He
can't bring you back from.
00:19:35.97\00:19:37.31
There's nothing He can't
bring you back from, you know...
00:19:37.34\00:19:38.67
So I mean they say hindsight
00:19:38.71\00:19:40.04
is twenty-twenty
looking back into the situation
00:19:40.08\00:19:43.58
I mean, what do you
think the church could do,
00:19:43.61\00:19:45.65
you know, A, and
then what do you think
00:19:45.68\00:19:47.52
that individual who is in
that situation needs to do.
00:19:47.55\00:19:49.85
Right. You know.
00:19:49.88\00:19:51.22
Definitely a church has to
show more love towards openness,
00:19:51.25\00:19:55.32
so that people can come forth.
00:19:55.36\00:19:57.13
It doesn't matter what
it is, you know, I think...
00:19:57.16\00:19:59.09
Whether it's homosexuality
or immorality or whatever.
00:19:59.13\00:20:00.46
Whether it's homosexuality,
immorality, whatever it is,
00:20:00.50\00:20:04.13
even if it's just
one specific incident
00:20:04.17\00:20:05.90
or event that happened
00:20:05.93\00:20:07.70
and you're not quite
sure how to deal with it,
00:20:07.74\00:20:09.40
there should be
an outlet or a venue
00:20:09.44\00:20:11.37
where you can sort of share this
00:20:11.41\00:20:12.74
and unpacked it
without any kind of judgment,
00:20:12.77\00:20:15.51
you know, where you
can even just talk it out,
00:20:15.54\00:20:17.28
and I think
that's really important.
00:20:17.31\00:20:20.32
For people who are
going through this,
00:20:20.35\00:20:21.85
you know, you're not worthless,
00:20:21.88\00:20:25.22
you're not, you know,
there will be life after this.
00:20:25.25\00:20:27.72
God can really
show you happiness
00:20:27.76\00:20:29.22
that you have
not yet experienced.
00:20:29.26\00:20:30.73
And I think what kept
me there for a long time
00:20:30.76\00:20:33.19
or it kept my mind,
00:20:33.23\00:20:34.76
you know, really reeling
from all of it was that, okay,
00:20:34.80\00:20:37.60
I had some sort of happiness
there but it wasn't real.
00:20:37.63\00:20:40.77
It didn't fit into the real life
00:20:40.80\00:20:42.90
that I really had.
00:20:42.94\00:20:44.27
It was this little
glimpse in the secret place
00:20:44.31\00:20:46.64
that really wasn't
what life was about.
00:20:46.68\00:20:48.78
It wasn't what
God had wanted from me
00:20:48.81\00:20:51.38
and you know hindsight
00:20:51.41\00:20:52.75
I'm seeing how
God has brought me out
00:20:52.78\00:20:55.05
and seeing what He's done for me
00:20:55.08\00:20:56.42
is tremendous and I
could have never seen
00:20:56.45\00:20:57.85
that in my little home
00:20:57.89\00:20:59.22
and what I thought
would make me happy.
00:20:59.25\00:21:01.26
So you know, to trust God
and it's not going to be easy.
00:21:01.29\00:21:04.09
You know, there
are going to be people
00:21:04.13\00:21:05.46
who are going to
look at you different,
00:21:05.49\00:21:06.83
who are going to find
you funny but God is able.
00:21:06.86\00:21:09.10
You know, well, I was
gonna just ask, Lorriane,
00:21:09.13\00:21:11.40
you know, one of
the things that you know
00:21:11.43\00:21:13.23
where I first heard you share
this was at a Bible conference.
00:21:13.27\00:21:16.54
I don't know if that,
was that the first time
00:21:16.57\00:21:17.91
you've shared it?
00:21:17.94\00:21:19.27
That was the first time I shared
00:21:19.31\00:21:20.64
that with a
larger group of people.
00:21:20.68\00:21:22.01
I've shared it
one on one with people
00:21:22.04\00:21:23.38
that I know were going
through some of the struggles.
00:21:23.41\00:21:24.95
What was it
about that environment
00:21:24.98\00:21:27.38
because we talk
about really trying to,
00:21:27.42\00:21:30.29
you know, create an environment
00:21:30.32\00:21:32.89
where people can
actually be open and share.
00:21:32.92\00:21:34.76
What was it about
that Bible conference
00:21:34.79\00:21:36.29
that kind of allowed you to be
00:21:36.32\00:21:37.73
able to feel
comfortable to share?
00:21:37.76\00:21:39.33
I mean the Holy
Spirit was there,
00:21:39.36\00:21:41.33
I have to say that.
00:21:41.36\00:21:43.03
And it started over more
people just started sharing,
00:21:43.06\00:21:45.57
you know, it started
even little by little,
00:21:45.60\00:21:47.14
"Man, you know,
00:21:47.17\00:21:48.50
I'm in a relationship with a guy
00:21:48.54\00:21:49.87
and we're doing things that
we really shouldn't be doing,"
00:21:49.90\00:21:51.87
and then or, "Man, you
know, God really brought me
00:21:51.91\00:21:54.44
out of the situation,"
00:21:54.48\00:21:55.81
you know and I really felt
the Holy Spirit nudging on me
00:21:55.84\00:21:58.61
that you need to share this.
00:21:58.65\00:21:59.98
Many people
shared their testimonies
00:22:00.02\00:22:01.58
and it seemed like
people were getting healing
00:22:01.62\00:22:03.49
and so yet I didn't really
feel like I needed healing.
00:22:03.52\00:22:05.39
I actually
thought that I was healed.
00:22:05.42\00:22:06.86
I actually
thought that I was fine,
00:22:06.89\00:22:08.79
but that voice was saying
00:22:08.82\00:22:10.16
you need to speak
and out of obedience,
00:22:10.19\00:22:12.39
out of just
listening to the voice of God
00:22:12.43\00:22:14.46
I just shared, you
know, I just shared,
00:22:14.50\00:22:16.06
this is my story,
this is what I went.
00:22:16.10\00:22:18.37
You know, I didn't
need any sort of healing
00:22:18.40\00:22:19.73
but I need to share.
00:22:19.77\00:22:21.37
And I realized that
through me just being obedient,
00:22:21.40\00:22:25.41
it was someone
else's cue for healing.
00:22:25.44\00:22:27.44
It was someone
else's door to say,
00:22:27.48\00:22:30.25
okay, I can, I can move past
00:22:30.28\00:22:32.31
this if I'm
struggling with the same thing
00:22:32.35\00:22:33.85
or I can share my testimony
that's something different,
00:22:33.88\00:22:36.45
you know, how God has blessed me
00:22:36.48\00:22:37.85
and even if I'm still in it,
00:22:37.89\00:22:39.32
He's going to get me
out of it and I believe
00:22:39.35\00:22:41.22
that He's going
to get me out of it.
00:22:41.26\00:22:42.59
You know, I want to ask
when you came to that point
00:22:42.62\00:22:46.93
where you are, you know,
enough is enough going back
00:22:46.96\00:22:48.86
just a little bit
and you told your friend
00:22:48.90\00:22:51.03
even the second time,
hey, I'm away from that.
00:22:51.07\00:22:53.34
Were you able to continue
your friendship, you know?
00:22:53.37\00:22:58.17
but I tried for so long
to continue our friendship,
00:22:58.21\00:23:01.01
but it was impossible,
it wasn't possible to do so.
00:23:01.04\00:23:04.85
And it's something I think
00:23:04.88\00:23:06.21
I still wrestle with to this day
00:23:06.25\00:23:08.02
is that, that
friendship was never the same.
00:23:08.05\00:23:11.39
Then I blame myself a lot,
00:23:11.42\00:23:12.75
you know, our church
is big on evangelism,
00:23:12.79\00:23:14.96
almost like we are
individual evangelizers,
00:23:14.99\00:23:17.46
you know, we have to
bring people to Christ,
00:23:17.49\00:23:19.13
and I kept feeling
like it was my role
00:23:19.16\00:23:21.06
but I was not strong
enough at that point...
00:23:21.10\00:23:23.00
To bring her. To bring her back.
00:23:23.03\00:23:24.37
I needed God to work on me.
00:23:24.40\00:23:26.97
And you know, I
pray for her all the time
00:23:27.00\00:23:29.00
that God would
just work on her heart
00:23:29.04\00:23:31.24
and even help her to
forgive me, forgive me for,
00:23:31.27\00:23:35.11
you know, the
hurt that I've caused
00:23:35.14\00:23:36.48
or the pain that I caused
her while I was still confused.
00:23:36.51\00:23:40.22
So there was a point though
00:23:40.25\00:23:41.68
because I think
it's important for,
00:23:41.72\00:23:43.72
you know, the
listeners to know that sometimes
00:23:43.75\00:23:46.79
we have to separate ourselves...
00:23:46.82\00:23:48.39
Absolutely.
00:23:48.42\00:23:49.76
I mean the Bible says
that, it's like Amos 3:3,
00:23:49.79\00:23:51.66
"Can two walk together,
unless they be agreed?"
00:23:51.69\00:23:54.23
You know so...
00:23:54.26\00:23:55.60
Somebody else's role now
00:23:55.63\00:23:56.97
to help bring
that person to Christ.
00:23:57.00\00:23:58.33
Right. Right.
00:23:58.37\00:23:59.70
And I just think it's probably
because it's the idea of...
00:23:59.73\00:24:02.14
Again we never show
pure choices, you...
00:24:02.17\00:24:04.54
In order for you to
make those other choices,
00:24:04.57\00:24:06.78
you had to make a
very difficult choice
00:24:06.81\00:24:08.81
that obviously
still today bothers you
00:24:08.84\00:24:10.28
but you knew had to be done,
00:24:10.31\00:24:12.28
it wasn't easy in order for
you to be where you are today.
00:24:12.31\00:24:15.18
I mean I was the only
Christian representation
00:24:15.22\00:24:17.35
in that person's life
and that made it very hard
00:24:17.39\00:24:18.99
for me to walk away
00:24:19.02\00:24:20.36
'cause I kept thinking
like, what if she's not saved,
00:24:20.39\00:24:22.52
you know, like I want
her to be in heaven too
00:24:22.56\00:24:24.66
and how could I
walk away and leave her,
00:24:24.69\00:24:27.10
but God actually showed
me like you can do this,
00:24:27.13\00:24:31.43
we're going to get to a
place that's better than this.
00:24:31.47\00:24:33.74
And I didn't see that at first,
00:24:33.77\00:24:35.10
I fought it for a very long time
00:24:35.14\00:24:36.47
but, you know, looking
back and I can definitely see
00:24:36.50\00:24:38.54
that's where God
has brought me to.
00:24:38.57\00:24:39.91
Lorriane, how is
life now for you?
00:24:39.94\00:24:42.58
It's good.
00:24:42.61\00:24:44.55
You know, I've really seen
how God has brought me through,
00:24:44.58\00:24:47.88
has given me a new self image
00:24:47.92\00:24:49.72
and, you know,
I'm not so concerned,
00:24:49.75\00:24:51.62
I have no secrets and
that's like a great feeling
00:24:51.65\00:24:53.89
to know that God has blessed
me and He's going to use me
00:24:53.92\00:24:56.39
and it's not easy, you know,
I still sometimes get scared
00:24:56.42\00:24:59.63
about being associated
with this or with that,
00:24:59.66\00:25:02.46
but I want to be in heaven so.
00:25:02.50\00:25:04.70
You know, I firmly believe
00:25:04.73\00:25:06.07
you have
nothing to be ashamed of
00:25:06.10\00:25:07.44
but you've got a victory over.
00:25:07.47\00:25:08.80
Amen. Absolutely.
00:25:08.84\00:25:10.17
You know, God gives you victory,
00:25:10.21\00:25:11.54
listen, I am not ashamed,
you know, this is who I was,
00:25:11.57\00:25:13.27
this is where I was
and God, He restores.
00:25:13.31\00:25:16.68
The Bible clearly says,
He makes all things beautiful
00:25:16.71\00:25:18.75
in His time.
00:25:18.78\00:25:20.12
So though I might have made
some mistakes and messed up.
00:25:20.15\00:25:22.12
If I just place my
hands in the hands of Master.
00:25:22.15\00:25:23.89
If I place my life in the hands
of Master, He will make me,
00:25:23.92\00:25:26.59
you know, into
His image in time.
00:25:26.62\00:25:27.96
And I think that's
perfect to understand
00:25:27.99\00:25:29.59
because God will
send people to love you
00:25:29.62\00:25:32.09
in spite of all of that.
00:25:32.13\00:25:33.46
And I think for a
long time I believe that
00:25:33.50\00:25:34.83
no one would
love me because of it
00:25:34.86\00:25:36.56
and people know
and loved me anyway.
00:25:36.60\00:25:38.33
And that's like
a beautiful thing,
00:25:38.37\00:25:40.04
they know exactly what I've done
00:25:40.07\00:25:41.57
and they loved me anyway
because I'm not the same.
00:25:41.60\00:25:43.74
So if you could in
the last few moments
00:25:43.77\00:25:45.97
we have somebody's in
your situation right now
00:25:46.01\00:25:48.21
or something
similar whether it's been
00:25:48.24\00:25:50.05
because they pulled in,
00:25:50.08\00:25:51.41
may be some other
things had happened,
00:25:51.45\00:25:52.78
they've just
experiment making a choice,
00:25:52.81\00:25:54.15
what's their,
what's their first step,
00:25:54.18\00:25:55.52
what do they do to make sure
00:25:55.55\00:25:57.95
they don't get
caught up in more of a cycle
00:25:57.99\00:25:59.99
so it becomes increasingly
difficult to get out.
00:26:00.02\00:26:01.82
Definitely pray and
ask God for some peace.
00:26:01.86\00:26:05.03
I think separating
yourself from the situation
00:26:05.06\00:26:07.20
even temporarily, you
know, to get that little window,
00:26:07.23\00:26:09.80
so the Holy Spirit
can really speak to you
00:26:09.83\00:26:12.33
is really imperative.
00:26:12.37\00:26:13.70
I think I needed
that little break of time,
00:26:13.74\00:26:15.80
and I think God will
really, He will really show you
00:26:15.84\00:26:19.24
what you need to do next.
00:26:19.27\00:26:20.61
I think more importantly,
I want to speak to those
00:26:20.64\00:26:22.41
that are around those people.
00:26:22.44\00:26:23.78
Sometimes, you
know, I've seen people
00:26:23.81\00:26:25.15
who suspect that
certain things are going on,
00:26:25.18\00:26:27.25
don't talk about those people.
00:26:27.28\00:26:28.62
You know, really
just encourage them
00:26:28.65\00:26:29.98
and love on them as God
really works through them
00:26:30.02\00:26:32.85
because everybody's moment
00:26:32.89\00:26:34.22
with the Holy
Spirit is different
00:26:34.26\00:26:36.19
and they've got to
get there on their own.
00:26:36.22\00:26:38.36
You know, that reminds me,
I think I said it last week
00:26:38.39\00:26:41.30
when we were
talking about this that
00:26:41.33\00:26:43.16
the church's response
should be one of the God judges,
00:26:43.20\00:26:46.70
the Holy Spirit convicts
and the church loves, you know.
00:26:46.74\00:26:50.47
And if the church would just
do that just love, you know,
00:26:50.51\00:26:52.61
regardless of what your
issue, your sin, your stumble,
00:26:52.64\00:26:55.94
your mistake,
you know, we love you
00:26:55.98\00:26:57.65
and we're going to love
you back into Christ, you know.
00:26:57.68\00:27:00.68
And a lot of times
unfortunately we look at love
00:27:00.72\00:27:02.82
as though I
accept everything you do.
00:27:02.85\00:27:04.49
Right.
00:27:04.52\00:27:05.85
And love is not I
accept everything you do.
00:27:05.89\00:27:07.39
No, I mean love is, I see
you in spite of what you do.
00:27:07.42\00:27:11.99
I see you as God sees you
and God sees you as a child,
00:27:12.03\00:27:14.93
you know.
00:27:14.96\00:27:16.30
He sees you as
what you are to become.
00:27:16.33\00:27:17.73
Right. I thank
you for being here.
00:27:17.77\00:27:19.50
You know, I pray God
for how He has delivered you
00:27:19.53\00:27:21.40
and I know that
through your testimony
00:27:21.44\00:27:22.77
He will deliver others.
00:27:22.80\00:27:24.14
Praise God.
00:27:24.17\00:27:25.51
We pray that you
are blessed today.
00:27:25.54\00:27:26.88
We want you to
follow us on Facebook.
00:27:26.91\00:27:28.24
Go to Facebook,
type in Pure Choices.
00:27:28.28\00:27:29.61
If you have a
question for Lorriane,
00:27:29.64\00:27:30.98
we'll make sure she
answers your questions
00:27:31.01\00:27:32.35
for more
conversation and dialogue.
00:27:32.38\00:27:34.28
Listen, we'll see you next week,
00:27:34.32\00:27:35.75
be blessed and, you know,
we just praise God for you.
00:27:35.78\00:27:39.35
Bye-bye.
00:27:39.39\00:27:40.72