The following program
discusses sensitive issues
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related to addictive behaviour.
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Parents are
cautioned that some material
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may be too candid
for younger children.
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Happy, Sabbath.
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You know, raise your
hand if you weren't here
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last night, oh, so a lot.
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So, you know, I am
hoping that you don't mind
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if I just at briefly do
a little bit of testimony
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for the people that were here
to kind of just say who I am.
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And it's really funny
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for me to do that
because I said last night
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and I will say
that thousand times
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I wish that I
could say something like,
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you know, I trained
for the Olympics and I won
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and it was so cool and I
got the gold and all that kind
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of stuff and I can't
even be close to any of that.
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I am a drug addict in recovery.
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I am a heroine
addict in recovery.
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My parents were addicts.
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My grandparents were addicts.
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In fact when my
grandmother was dying,
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I was at by
that time in recovery
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and they asked me to
come over and care for her.
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And every morning she's dying
of her alcoholism and diabetes
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and all that kind of stuff
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and she's had
body parts removed.
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And I mean she's-and you
know she just-in the morning
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I would get up and say you know,
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what would you
like for breakfast.
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And she would want a pastry
and vodka and orange juice.
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And I would you know
I am like in recovery
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and I am thinking, oh you know,
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can we just have something else
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and she you know don't-you
know, have you ever stood
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in front of somebody in alcohol
when there're an alcoholic.
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It is not pleasant.
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She is like, you know, I
want this and so I am like okay,
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and so I am
gonna go and get pastry
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and vodka and orange
juice and I go in the kitchen
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and she says I have
never did like that child.
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I mean she-you know my
family are just addicts
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and I ended up
being raised by my dad
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initially who was alcoholic,
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died in a crack house
with sexual addictions.
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My mom moved a bartender
in who had his own addictions.
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My mom kind of escaped
in her depression and anger
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and her own
addictions, and I was addicted
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by the age of 12 and
almost by the age of 13.
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And spent 10 years on
the streets of Los Angeles
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and I'd love to go into
that all that-but we kind
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of did that last night.
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But at 23 years old,
my drug deal goes bad.
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Somebody puts a gun to my face
and they gonna blow my head off
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and it was a first
time I felt joy in my life.
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I am thinking thank you so much.
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You know, and the
guy is just yelling
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I'm gonna blow your head off.
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And I'm thinking go ahead.
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And he's like are you crazy.
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I'm thinking are
you my psychiatrist
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just pull the trigger, you know.
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And I just
remember for the first time
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feeling like I get it out.
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You know, it's like I get to be
free of all this kind of stuff
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and not realizing that
he was just scaring me.
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And didn't kill me and laughed
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and during that time I met God.
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You know, met God in a drug
house trying to kill myself.
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And what was interesting
to me is that I was a mess.
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I have been on the
streets for 10 years.
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My family is a mess.
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Most of my relatives have
died of some kind of addiction.
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And you know
when your liver fails
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and you go yellow and
all that kind of suffer.
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I mean all of those
severe kinds of things
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and yet I meet
God and he tells me
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I'm lovely and He loves me.
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And He has a plan for my life
and all of that kind of stuff
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and I remember
just weeping at that.
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Is look at me
and look what a mess
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I am and in what God
did which was amazing,
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is that just trust me.
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Stand up and I
don't know why but I did.
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You know, and he
has been so faithful.
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And it's just all so crazy
to me and I am gonna leave out
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a time for people that
weren't here last night,
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I am sorry but I want to
go into it was crazy for me.
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As I get into recovery I end up
at the vegan vegetarian's house
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and she convinces me
to trust God and trust her
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and step into
recovery and a church.
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And I come into a church
and it was so ridiculous,
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I looked like a little hooker,
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I was like hoo
hoo I just met God.
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And you know I have got
inappropriate clothes on.
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I just don't look normal at all.
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I am smoking three
packs of cigarettes a day.
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Smoke is kind of
following me in the building.
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And I'm in this tiny
little conservative church
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with don't get offended with
like a ton of vegan vegetarians.
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You know, and I sit next
to somebody and their throats
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closing off because I
smell like a cigarette.
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You know, what I
mean and I don't know
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why they're just hhh-hhh.
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And I am like trying
to think what is going on,
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and they're
scooting away a little bit
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because I'm
probably killing them.
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You know, what I
mean, and I am thinking
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they're just rejecting me
because I have security issues,
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it was horrible.
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You know, I mean forever-
you know and so I thought,
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you know later on
I am probably smart.
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I am trying to figure
out, what it might it be.
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And I thought, well may
be is this the cigarette,
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you know,
because you know, vegans,
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sometimes they're
allergic to the entire planet.
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You know, what I
mean, I don't know
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why that is but there
are allergies that happen.
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It's like you slap me
for falling into each other.
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I love that but any
how there's you know so now
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I decide you know I am
gonna end up-I am hiding,
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my fact that I smoke, you know.
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I don't know if anybody has
done that but it's hysterical
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that mean everybody can
smell you from the block away.
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But I'm gonna hide
the fact that I smoke.
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So I'm driving to
church now and in my car
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and I just kind of scoot
down, you know, I take a hit,
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look up holding it and
then I blow it out making sure
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there's a pastor not going
by and nobody in the church
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is going by and
then when I get to church
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I get out I air out my
clothes just like this.
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And then I spray
perfume head to toe.
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And then walk in
the church and sit
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next to that
same vegan vegetarian.
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Now, they're really dying
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because now I have
smoked and she perfume.
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I mean the pouring,
you know, it was just crazy
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but that's how I
came in, we do come in.
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Raise your hand if you know
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we've come in and
we're such a mess.
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You can tell the
addict that stumbles
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then and we just trying
to do recovery and stuff.
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I had no idea
how to talk at all.
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You know, when I
get invited to potluck
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I'm not used to
sitting with people.
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You know, I'm not used to
doing that whole kind of potluck
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thing and conversation.
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And so you know I get
nervous and my palms sweat.
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I think oh somebody is going
to ask me to say something.
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And I don't know what
to say and so I just say-
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you know person that
comes to my mind hi I'm Cheri,
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molested at three months,
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I had tried to
commits suicide at eight.
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And I mean that changes
all conversation of the table.
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You know, they're just like
all-okay you know, and you know
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I just don't know
what to say until you say,
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you just talk on
and it's inappropriate.
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I mean, it was just
so- I think looking back
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on that it was so ridiculous.
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And I wanted to remember,
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what I said last
night is my whole life.
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I wanted to be loved
and my parents were addicts
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and they were such a
mess I wanted someone
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to-I wanted my
mom-let me sit next to you.
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Let me, you know tell
me you love me or anything,
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and I-when I was in the church
I almost felt like the same way.
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It's like can I sit
next to you, you know.
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And sometimes I-because I
was trying to fake it like
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I was so normal
which I don't know why.
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But I just had to fake in
and so I wanted to come up
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sometimes and
grab the mic and say.
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You know, what I don't'
think I am gonna survive today.
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I need to sit next to you.
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Can I sit on your lap,
would you take me home?
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You know, I was just like,
it was just a ridiculous time
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and God was just so faithful,
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just so faithful
walking through all that.
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I started to- in church.
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Well first of all I
started to try to look
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as normal as I possibly could.
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And you know, it was just,
but today I'm doing pretty good.
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I mean look how normal
I look. It's just amazing.
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I've never worn
this I don't think, no.
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But you know what I mean,
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I was just trying to
do all that kind of stuff
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and look normal and be normal.
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And it was really funny
because I fairly a literate
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and I was-a you know fairly
a literate I am a drug addict.
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And the Bible study when I
was coming was a really intense
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Bible study on
Revelations and Daniel you know,
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and all these timelines
and all that kind of stuff.
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I don't hardly read, right.
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And so they would
say something like
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you know we're
gonna study Revelations.
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And so I had a Bible of course,
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because you have to have a
Bible if you come to church.
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I'm studying
Revelations and that's okay
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and-all right go ahead.
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And somebody said Revelations.
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And I said I'm ready.
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And they would say you know
Revelation, and so I am smart.
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I realize I must be in a
wrong place so I went like this.
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Okay, go ahead.
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You know, and then
they say Revelations,
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again and I think
don't make me hate you.
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Just go ahead, you know,
because I just want to say now
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you are irritating me and I
just want to get on the things.
00:09:41.19\00:09:43.91
Can I just put this
down and you just go ahead
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because I didn't, you
know, you don't know anything.
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You know, we just
saw it's so ridiculous
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and you know all of the concepts
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or things that
sometimes are taught
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and we stumble into the
class, we just don't know.
00:10:00.67\00:10:02.48
So I was kind of
doing that kind of stuff in.
00:10:02.51\00:10:04.97
But what really got me is
man- children's story got me.
00:10:05.01\00:10:08.69
You know because I am addict
I can relate on that lover.
00:10:08.73\00:10:12.00
You know, all of the little
points that you tell the kids.
00:10:12.03\00:10:15.26
I am like can I just sit up
there that was a good story.
00:10:15.29\00:10:18.49
You know, so children's story
00:10:18.52\00:10:20.39
got me definitely
mission's spotlight.
00:10:20.43\00:10:23.55
You guys still show that's?
00:10:23.58\00:10:26.15
Oh, man I was just blessed.
00:10:26.19\00:10:28.12
You know, with watching
00:10:28.15\00:10:30.01
what people are
doing all over the world,
00:10:30.05\00:10:31.45
and all that kind of stuff.
00:10:31.48\00:10:32.85
Blessed by that
started to you know pray God.
00:10:32.88\00:10:35.08
Can you use me in the ministry
00:10:35.12\00:10:36.49
and all of that kind of
stuff and it was amazing.
00:10:36.52\00:10:39.70
Like, you know, in the one
of the things in my recovery
00:10:39.74\00:10:44.16
where God
really told me is that.
00:10:44.19\00:10:46.64
You know, you need
to go back to school
00:10:46.68\00:10:48.05
and you need to learn to read
00:10:48.08\00:10:50.07
and you need to do all that
kind of stuff and so I did that.
00:10:50.11\00:10:53.07
Sometimes just in
tears I didn't feel like
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I could and I am
not gonna make it.
00:10:55.03\00:10:57.78
And you know, I finally
got my high school equivalent
00:10:57.82\00:11:00.47
and then I went to college for
a nursing program, ridiculous.
00:11:00.51\00:11:04.02
First semester was an anatomy,
physiology and pharmacology
00:11:04.05\00:11:07.53
and I am thinking just shoot me.
00:11:07.56\00:11:09.14
You know, because you
know, I have got a dictionary
00:11:09.18\00:11:11.44
in my pocket and I am
trying to look up words.
00:11:11.47\00:11:13.44
Because just it
was just ridiculous
00:11:13.47\00:11:15.24
but it got me through
all that kind of stuff.
00:11:15.28\00:11:17.03
Told me I need to do
volunteer work in the community
00:11:17.07\00:11:19.92
to help my recovery.
00:11:19.95\00:11:21.32
So I
volunteered with geriatrics.
00:11:21.35\00:11:22.81
I volunteered with blind kids.
00:11:22.84\00:11:24.67
I worked with-just about anybody
00:11:24.71\00:11:26.47
that would let me in
the door to do something,
00:11:26.51\00:11:28.60
because it was so
good for my recovery.
00:11:28.63\00:11:31.52
And so I was doing all that.
00:11:31.55\00:11:33.38
Then mayor in the town
00:11:33.41\00:11:34.78
I was in gave me a
volunteer of the year award.
00:11:34.81\00:11:39.87
That's how much I volunteered
00:11:39.90\00:11:41.27
I'm just, I must have
been just ridiculous anytime
00:11:41.30\00:11:43.86
anybody could
let me do anything.
00:11:43.89\00:11:45.42
And I was doing it because God
00:11:45.45\00:11:46.91
was just trying to teach me
something, it was just cool.
00:11:46.95\00:11:51.05
I was grand marshaled on
4th of July parade one year.
00:11:51.08\00:11:55.15
It was just like and
I am thinking only God
00:11:55.18\00:11:58.08
could do that with
somebody who has messed up
00:11:58.11\00:12:00.98
as I was is that
all of the sudden
00:12:01.01\00:12:03.36
getting all of that
stuff it was just so amazing.
00:12:03.40\00:12:06.47
I worked with
Down syndrome kids.
00:12:06.50\00:12:09.04
Now, I don't know if
anybody with Down syndrome kids.
00:12:09.08\00:12:11.88
But I thought I
had just met God,
00:12:11.91\00:12:14.03
I was ridiculously
thrilled about that.
00:12:14.07\00:12:16.77
I was gonna change the world
00:12:16.80\00:12:18.55
with the love he was
doing for me and the love
00:12:18.59\00:12:20.85
that I could for someone else.
00:12:20.88\00:12:22.25
I just felt like it was
gonna be cool and I went to work
00:12:22.28\00:12:24.51
and I am thinking with
these kids there gonna be loved.
00:12:24.54\00:12:27.12
I am just gonna
love them like crazy.
00:12:27.15\00:12:29.70
And the first year I worked
there they loved me into health.
00:12:29.74\00:12:33.10
Down syndrome
kids will love on you.
00:12:33.13\00:12:35.13
You get snuff from head to toe.
00:12:35.16\00:12:36.53
I mean like they're always
holding you and loving you
00:12:36.57\00:12:38.99
and we're like off
work I would be off work
00:12:39.02\00:12:41.11
from my weekend or whatever
and I have come back to work
00:12:41.15\00:12:44.48
and they would clap and
you know it's just so excited
00:12:44.52\00:12:47.82
to see somebody that loves them.
00:12:47.85\00:12:49.53
And I have never been
loved and I was so excited
00:12:49.56\00:12:52.33
that they were
loving me in that way.
00:12:52.36\00:12:53.98
It was just like
I was just amazed
00:12:54.01\00:12:55.71
at all of the kind
of the healing stuff.
00:12:55.75\00:12:57.77
It was just incredibly intense.
00:12:57.80\00:13:00.78
I started working in
hospitals, I have loved it.
00:13:00.82\00:13:03.36
I worked with addictions
and people that were crazy
00:13:03.40\00:13:05.91
and you know the
best way if you're crazy
00:13:05.94\00:13:08.08
is to get the job working
with people that are crazy,
00:13:08.12\00:13:10.25
because everything you studied
00:13:10.28\00:13:11.65
you actually learn
a bit and then teach.
00:13:11.68\00:13:13.59
You know, so it was
just perfect for me.
00:13:13.62\00:13:15.68
I am working in hospitals,
00:13:15.71\00:13:17.08
working and so I can,
and then a couple of times
00:13:17.11\00:13:20.35
I am praying to
God, because I want to do
00:13:20.38\00:13:22.11
and I am watching
mission spotlight.
00:13:22.14\00:13:23.52
I am watching all
that kind of s tuff
00:13:23.55\00:13:24.92
and I am
thinking about ministering
00:13:24.95\00:13:26.32
and I am thinking
does ever God use somebody,
00:13:26.35\00:13:28.28
that's a mess
like this in ministry.
00:13:28.31\00:13:30.42
And I am kind
of starting to pray
00:13:30.46\00:13:32.20
for that and that
one day I am out to work.
00:13:32.23\00:13:34.60
And you know setting up people's
meds and that kind of stuff.
00:13:34.64\00:13:38.59
And there was a
patient that I worked
00:13:38.62\00:13:41.90
with that was- she
was incredibly depressed.
00:13:41.94\00:13:47.00
I mean I had never seen anyone
quite as depressed as her.
00:13:47.04\00:13:50.59
She could not be saved
doing anything, I mean anything.
00:13:50.63\00:13:54.15
You have to her
one to one staffing
00:13:54.18\00:13:56.22
which means that you had
to have arms length from her.
00:13:56.26\00:13:59.07
And if she could
if she had a chance
00:13:59.10\00:14:01.50
she would eat
things like light bulbs.
00:14:01.53\00:14:03.86
She would jump up and bash her
head on the corner of something.
00:14:03.90\00:14:08.18
I mean she would
try to kill herself
00:14:08.21\00:14:09.86
in everyway she
could kill herself.
00:14:09.90\00:14:11.48
I mean it was like you
could not let her have any space
00:14:11.52\00:14:15.16
and she would injure
herself and sometimes injure
00:14:15.19\00:14:18.24
you as she was
trying injure herself.
00:14:18.27\00:14:20.64
Eventually, we
couldn't control herself abused.
00:14:20.68\00:14:25.06
Also we ended up having
to put her on restraints.
00:14:25.10\00:14:29.41
Sometimes chemical restraints
work sometimes they don't work,
00:14:29.45\00:14:31.87
so put her in
five point restraints.
00:14:31.90\00:14:33.75
And people that don't'
know what five point restraint
00:14:33.79\00:14:36.24
is that's the restraints,
your legs are restrained down,
00:14:36.27\00:14:38.69
you're arms are
restrained down and you're waist
00:14:38.72\00:14:40.52
is restrained
down, so its five points,
00:14:40.55\00:14:42.35
still on one to one staffing.
00:14:42.38\00:14:44.12
So having one person
00:14:44.15\00:14:45.52
that had to be there at all
times in five points restraints.
00:14:45.55\00:14:48.84
And I am thinking man and
I want to just and say to her
00:14:48.87\00:14:53.72
I am so sorry what happened.
00:14:53.75\00:14:56.24
And in this hospital
that I finally got a job
00:14:56.28\00:14:59.77
and it was secular hospital
and we weren't allowed to pray
00:14:59.81\00:15:02.49
or any of that kind of stuff.
00:15:02.52\00:15:03.89
So you know, I could give her
medications, a thousand pills,
00:15:03.92\00:15:07.69
but I couldn't sit
down and pray with her.
00:15:07.72\00:15:09.78
And that really was
starting to bother me,
00:15:09.82\00:15:11.85
because she was so sad.
00:15:11.88\00:15:13.32
And then I am like
00:15:13.35\00:15:15.24
I said getting
medications set up,
00:15:15.28\00:15:17.71
her one to one
staffing was a student.
00:15:17.74\00:15:20.14
And I walked into
the restraint room
00:15:20.18\00:15:22.51
and I walk in and the student
is sitting on bed by herself.
00:15:22.55\00:15:29.20
And I said you know
where is the patient.
00:15:29.23\00:15:31.87
And she said, oh she
wanted to go the bathroom.
00:15:31.91\00:15:35.36
And I am thinking and so I
am trying to now go towards
00:15:35.40\00:15:39.06
the bathroom and I am trying
not to yell out to student.
00:15:39.10\00:15:42.41
You know, because I wanted to
say everything to the student,
00:15:42.45\00:15:45.73
but I am trying
not to yell to her.
00:15:45.76\00:15:47.13
And I am saying trying to say to
her, you know, you can't let her
00:15:47.16\00:15:49.53
that Oh she just wanted
privacy just for the bathroom.
00:15:49.56\00:15:52.66
And so now by this
time, I am at the door
00:15:52.69\00:15:54.53
And I know that
the doors aren't locked
00:15:54.56\00:15:56.35
in the restraint rooms because
they just say it s not safe.
00:15:56.38\00:15:58.58
But know that I can't get in.
00:15:58.61\00:16:00.32
I am pushing as hard as I could-
00:16:00.36\00:16:02.04
can and I can't get in.
00:16:02.07\00:16:03.44
And I finally break in
she has got her hands and legs
00:16:03.47\00:16:07.03
around the toilet and
she's trying to drowned herself.
00:16:07.07\00:16:10.33
She's got her head in
and she's breathing in water
00:16:10.36\00:16:13.40
as much as she
can-trying to drowned herself.
00:16:13.44\00:16:16.44
I came behind her
with my legs and heads
00:16:16.48\00:16:20.12
and I am trying
to push her away.
00:16:20.16\00:16:21.85
And I can't break her free.
00:16:21.89\00:16:23.44
I know that she's is sobbing.
00:16:23.48\00:16:24.97
She's having a harder breathing
and all that kind of stuff
00:16:25.00\00:16:27.65
and I have to get her head out.
00:16:27.68\00:16:29.05
And it was just
really intense kind of think,
00:16:29.08\00:16:31.48
and finally we
both just kind of fly
00:16:31.52\00:16:35.33
across the room
which is little bathroom.
00:16:35.36\00:16:37.01
But we both just are lying
on the floor and she is sobbing,
00:16:37.04\00:16:40.32
I am sobbing.
00:16:40.36\00:16:41.73
We're both wet and I
said can I pray with you.
00:16:41.76\00:16:45.97
And she just sobbed, yes.
00:16:46.01\00:16:47.56
And I don't even know
00:16:47.59\00:16:49.07
what the prayer
was, because sometimes
00:16:49.11\00:16:50.81
I think our words
are so-I mean what words
00:16:50.84\00:16:54.88
do you say in
that kind of thing,
00:16:54.92\00:16:56.43
but we prayed
and held each other.
00:16:56.47\00:16:57.92
And I had to get
her back into restraints
00:16:57.95\00:17:02.06
and we were talking
about just different things
00:17:02.09\00:17:04.03
and as I walked
out I was just stunt.
00:17:04.06\00:17:07.02
You know I was just
stunt at the amount of sadness
00:17:07.05\00:17:10.21
and what she was dealing with.
00:17:10.25\00:17:11.86
And all that I got call
to my supervisors office
00:17:11.90\00:17:15.17
and my supervisors said,
and I am not gonna warn you
00:17:15.21\00:17:18.45
again you cannot
pray with people.
00:17:18.48\00:17:22.49
And I thought you're
kidding me, are you kidding me
00:17:22.52\00:17:25.53
and I wanted to say where
you lying on the floor with us,
00:17:25.56\00:17:28.30
did you hear anything
that was happening with her.
00:17:28.34\00:17:30.72
And I remember just
saying God I can't do this.
00:17:30.76\00:17:33.11
I just can't do this.
00:17:33.14\00:17:34.64
I can't say that you can go into
00:17:34.67\00:17:38.77
this secular
thing and find help.
00:17:38.81\00:17:41.72
I can't say that
you can just take
00:17:41.76\00:17:43.81
a number of pills and find help.
00:17:43.85\00:17:45.86
I can't, it's almost like I
have found an incredible answer
00:17:45.90\00:17:51.35
and yet I am
telling people a lie.
00:17:51.39\00:17:53.20
Do you know what I mean?
00:17:53.23\00:17:54.60
And I am not anti medical stuff,
00:17:54.63\00:17:57.16
I am not anti any
of that kind of stuff.
00:17:57.20\00:17:58.81
I am not even anti constellate,
00:17:58.84\00:18:00.24
but I think that you will really
00:18:00.27\00:18:01.64
have to-there are some
of them are pretty twisted.
00:18:01.67\00:18:03.87
So you know what
I mean I am not anti
00:18:03.90\00:18:06.53
any of that, but I definitely
know that at end of the day
00:18:06.56\00:18:11.00
I really believe
that God is the answer.
00:18:11.03\00:18:13.60
I really believe
that some of our stuff
00:18:13.63\00:18:16.13
is so, we are so damaged
that it is gonna take a miracle
00:18:16.17\00:18:19.03
for us to stand up and find joy
and feel good in our own skin.
00:18:19.07\00:18:22.66
So I just started praying,
you got to get me out of this,
00:18:22.69\00:18:25.65
and so eventually
what was really amazing
00:18:25.68\00:18:28.86
to me as one
thing led to another
00:18:28.89\00:18:30.92
and eventually,
I am in ministry.
00:18:30.95\00:18:33.67
And I thought how cool is God.
00:18:33.70\00:18:36.44
You know, I don't
deserve to be standing up here.
00:18:36.48\00:18:39.94
I don't deserved to
being able to heal in this way
00:18:39.97\00:18:43.40
and do ministry and that way.
00:18:43.44\00:18:44.81
And I know all that
kind of stuff, but God
00:18:44.84\00:18:46.21
was just-He was so incredible.
00:18:46.24\00:18:48.12
So I am in
ministry now and I am doing
00:18:48.15\00:18:49.78
and it's a long
story to get then
00:18:49.81\00:18:51.18
and we don't
have a lot of times,
00:18:51.21\00:18:52.58
so I am just not
going to get into
00:18:52.61\00:18:54.06
all of the details
of how we have led.
00:18:54.10\00:18:55.67
Even though, if you
wanna have about three hours
00:18:55.71\00:18:58.43
I will tell you.
00:18:58.47\00:19:00.09
But you know, what I
mean it just was amazing,
00:19:00.12\00:19:02.36
so I am in ministry
and I was trying to.
00:19:02.39\00:19:07.85
We talked a little
bit about this last night,
00:19:07.88\00:19:09.57
but I got to say it again.
00:19:09.61\00:19:10.98
I feel like God is
calling me and you know,
00:19:11.01\00:19:15.44
I don't have a dime even
for the gas money most of time,
00:19:15.47\00:19:18.30
and so I was
just like, you know,
00:19:18.33\00:19:19.96
I got to get someone to hire me.
00:19:19.99\00:19:21.55
You know, so I don't
know a lot of about anything,
00:19:21.59\00:19:25.43
but I called the
church and I said, you know,
00:19:25.46\00:19:28.75
this is Cheri and you
know you may not know me,
00:19:28.78\00:19:32.00
I am heroine addict in recovery
and moves on the streets
00:19:32.03\00:19:34.65
for a while and I feel
like God is calling me.
00:19:34.68\00:19:37.14
So you like to
hire me in some way.
00:19:37.17\00:19:41.76
Person is like, what?
00:19:41.79\00:19:44.86
You want to call
the conference office.
00:19:44.89\00:19:47.65
And I have to go, I
don't know what that is.
00:19:47.68\00:19:49.29
So I am first of all having to
say I am not sure what that is.
00:19:49.33\00:19:51.93
You know, so anyhow I
call the conference office,
00:19:51.97\00:19:54.01
and you know, who
do you talk to you-
00:19:54.04\00:19:55.78
you can't just
talk to receptionist.
00:19:55.81\00:19:57.48
Can you get me to someone
that can actually hire people?
00:19:57.52\00:20:01.21
You know so then the something.
00:20:01.24\00:20:02.61
My name is Cheri,
heroine addict in recovery,
00:20:02.64\00:20:05.86
but called by
God, would you hire me?
00:20:05.90\00:20:10.59
And they're like
00:20:10.62\00:20:11.99
what and then it was
just almost silent on that.
00:20:12.02\00:20:14.69
You might want to
call the union office?
00:20:14.73\00:20:18.27
Okay, so now my name is Cheri,
heroine addict in recovery.
00:20:18.31\00:20:23.38
You might want to
call a general conference?
00:20:23.41\00:20:25.17
And so I got all the way
out to the general conference
00:20:25.21\00:20:29.12
and of course, you
know, people don't,
00:20:29.15\00:20:31.21
you know and who knows I am
a nut, you know, at that time.
00:20:31.24\00:20:35.65
So, it was really funny and
then finally I just got a sense
00:20:35.69\00:20:40.07
that God said you
know, I will hire you.
00:20:40.10\00:20:42.64
And I have to brag
a little bit on 3ABN
00:20:42.68\00:20:45.19
because it was so interesting
00:20:45.22\00:20:46.59
because I get asked to
do an interview on 3ABN.
00:20:46.62\00:20:51.14
I don't how know
this network at all,
00:20:51.17\00:20:53.36
but I get asked
to do an interview.
00:20:53.40\00:20:55.52
And some people are so
anointed there, so I'm sitting
00:20:55.56\00:20:59.02
there doing the interview
00:20:59.05\00:21:00.42
and I looked up
back Danny Shelton,
00:21:00.45\00:21:02.47
who was interviewing me
and I said you just so brave
00:21:02.50\00:21:06.68
it's like Danny,
would you hire me?
00:21:06.72\00:21:10.38
And he said, how
much do you need?
00:21:10.42\00:21:14.01
And I had to figured
in my drug addict mind-
00:21:14.05\00:21:19.52
little recovering mind,
00:21:19.55\00:21:20.92
what it would cost to
run a ministry for a year.
00:21:20.95\00:21:24.71
It was ridiculously
low, but I had figured
00:21:24.74\00:21:26.99
that's what I said that amount.
00:21:27.03\00:21:29.16
And we were getting
ready to end the program
00:21:29.19\00:21:31.51
and we had a little bit of
break with the camera staff
00:21:31.55\00:21:33.88
and so we were gonna
now out on the portion
00:21:33.92\00:21:36.83
and the program with
this kind of porch scene
00:21:36.87\00:21:39.49
and he came back and
before he sat on the porch
00:21:39.53\00:21:42.09
and he gave me a check and
he went outside and sat down.
00:21:42.12\00:21:45.62
And I looked at the check
and it's exactly what I said.
00:21:45.66\00:21:49.13
And I thought
stop what do I do now.
00:21:49.16\00:21:52.64
I mean how cool is this.
00:21:52.68\00:21:54.05
I have been trying to
get hired for hour for hour
00:21:54.08\00:21:56.94
and so then he ends the program.
00:21:56.97\00:21:58.67
If you ever see this program
00:21:58.70\00:22:00.33
its like most of you don't
know about Cheri's ministry,
00:22:00.36\00:22:03.98
True Step
Ministries is now working along
00:22:04.02\00:22:05.87
with 3ABN on certain things.
00:22:05.90\00:22:07.60
And so he ends with that.
00:22:07.63\00:22:09.25
It only happened that second
right before that it ended.
00:22:09.29\00:22:12.50
And even the
camera person said, well,
00:22:12.54\00:22:14.19
what does she do?
00:22:14.23\00:22:17.01
And he just said, I don't
know you gonna have to ask God,
00:22:17.05\00:22:19.43
because she
doesn't really work for us.
00:22:19.46\00:22:21.20
And I thought how funny
was that so that my first steps
00:22:21.24\00:22:24.28
in ministry was
kind of like that.
00:22:24.31\00:22:26.04
Did the interview with 3ABN
00:22:26.07\00:22:27.61
and then I get a call
and this just killed me.
00:22:27.65\00:22:31.56
I get a call from
Doug Batchelor's church.
00:22:31.59\00:22:35.47
Stop, and I thought you know,
00:22:35.50\00:22:37.29
you get a call from
Doug Batchelor's church,
00:22:37.32\00:22:38.92
would you speak at our church.
00:22:38.96\00:22:42.44
And I thought yeah, you know
00:22:42.47\00:22:45.89
and I am thinking
are you kidding me.
00:22:45.92\00:22:47.92
Has anybody does
anybody know Doug Batchelor.
00:22:47.96\00:22:51.49
How fun is that.
00:22:51.53\00:22:52.90
And not only, you know,
00:22:52.93\00:22:54.30
I am thinking that
first Revelation seminar
00:22:54.33\00:22:55.70
that I ever really understood
Doug Batchelor did it.
00:22:55.73\00:22:58.25
And then you know what
was really funny to me,
00:22:58.29\00:23:00.38
the most important thing
for me at that whole seminar
00:23:00.42\00:23:03.85
was he came out and his
eye was blood red you know,
00:23:03.89\00:23:06.76
and I even looked at
his eye like wow something
00:23:06.80\00:23:09.45
you know it was like a
vessel in his eye broke.
00:23:09.48\00:23:12.10
You know, how red
that gets just one eye.
00:23:12.13\00:23:15.17
But he came out and
he said to the audience
00:23:15.20\00:23:18.17
that he wasn't high, he just hit
his eye with a stick, you know.
00:23:18.20\00:23:23.22
And I am
thinking as if everybody
00:23:23.26\00:23:24.75
thought you were high.
00:23:24.78\00:23:26.15
It was just one eye.
00:23:26.18\00:23:27.55
But I thought that it
was really funny as addict
00:23:27.58\00:23:29.66
we can't even have a
cold without explain it to you
00:23:29.69\00:23:32.33
that I didn't do
heroine you know what I mean.
00:23:32.37\00:23:34.40
I just have a cold, I am
not shooting up or anything.
00:23:34.43\00:23:36.69
You know what I mean,
because we always feel guilty,
00:23:36.73\00:23:38.92
you know, it s like you know
so, but anyhow so I laughed,
00:23:38.95\00:23:41.71
I thought that was
cool. But when I first said
00:23:41.74\00:23:43.43
the Revelation seminar with him.
00:23:43.47\00:23:45.19
I am sitting in the front
row only because I had A.D.D.
00:23:45.23\00:23:48.02
and I get distracted so easy.
00:23:48.05\00:23:49.59
So I am sitting
in the front row.
00:23:49.62\00:23:51.09
It's at this time
he was not a pastor,
00:23:51.13\00:23:54.12
he was just an evangelist
and with the Revelation seminar,
00:23:54.15\00:23:58.04
so I am sitting
in the front row.
00:23:58.08\00:24:00.22
He's speaking
and I am just beside
00:24:00.26\00:24:02.37
myself and how cool this is.
00:24:02.40\00:24:04.77
There was about a
thousand people there.
00:24:04.81\00:24:06.53
I mean it was a just
huge crowd and all the sudden
00:24:06.56\00:24:10.01
I noticed that everybody
00:24:10.05\00:24:12.22
is looking at the
door, how weird is that?
00:24:12.26\00:24:15.05
If everybody right now,
look everybody look at the door.
00:24:15.09\00:24:18.67
You have to look, don't you?
00:24:18.71\00:24:20.47
You know, I mean if everybody
does that you have to look.
00:24:20.51\00:24:22.09
So I am in the front row.
00:24:22.12\00:24:23.49
I noticed that
everybody is looking at the door
00:24:23.52\00:24:24.89
and I looked back at the door.
00:24:24.92\00:24:27.15
And this pastor too walks in.
00:24:27.19\00:24:29.61
And you could tell I mean she's
dressed kind of filthy shoe,
00:24:29.64\00:24:33.61
she looks like
she's got a bunch of junk,
00:24:33.64\00:24:36.38
and I am looking
at her going mad.
00:24:36.42\00:24:38.83
And that first
thing don't get offended,
00:24:38.86\00:24:40.36
but the first thing I said
is you may not be safe here.
00:24:40.40\00:24:44.07
Does anybody
understand what I am saying,
00:24:44.11\00:24:46.15
because she was a
mess? She had been sobbing,
00:24:46.18\00:24:48.40
she had mascara just
running down her face.
00:24:48.43\00:24:50.58
And I am like you know,
wow I have been in the church,
00:24:50.62\00:24:54.21
I don't know how
long by that time
00:24:54.24\00:24:55.78
and I had never
said anything to anybody
00:24:55.81\00:24:58.04
about who I was, because I
didn't wanted to be judged.
00:24:58.07\00:25:01.08
And I didn't
want to be rejected.
00:25:01.11\00:25:02.51
And I was so, I so
needed to belong somewhere
00:25:02.55\00:25:05.71
that it would kill me
if somebody heard my story
00:25:05.75\00:25:08.88
and didn't want
me in the building.
00:25:08.91\00:25:10.34
And so I just
didn't say anything,
00:25:10.38\00:25:11.75
but I was just, you know,
sitting there and she came in
00:25:11.78\00:25:15.17
and I was just
like oh man, you know.
00:25:15.20\00:25:17.26
And I had this ton of
folks and that time Doug
00:25:17.30\00:25:21.64
said something
about, he asked a question
00:25:21.68\00:25:23.86
and he said to break up
like in groups of four or five,
00:25:23.90\00:25:26.61
answer the question just discuss
a little bit amongst yourself.
00:25:26.64\00:25:30.03
And then we'll comeback
to what he was saying, right.
00:25:30.07\00:25:33.34
So we did that.
00:25:33.37\00:25:34.74
And I couldn't believe
00:25:34.77\00:25:36.14
that this
prostitute came in and sat,
00:25:36.17\00:25:38.80
where do you think?
00:25:38.84\00:25:40.76
Right next to me.
00:25:40.80\00:25:42.65
And I am thinking,
oh don't call me out.
00:25:42.69\00:25:44.46
You know what I mean.
00:25:44.49\00:25:45.96
Sitting next to someone else.
00:25:46.00\00:25:47.65
You know, don't sit next to me.
00:25:47.69\00:25:49.31
I am looking normal today.
00:25:49.35\00:25:51.32
You know, so how
did you, well, why me,
00:25:51.35\00:25:54.74
you know if this is so not fair.
00:25:54.77\00:25:56.40
So she is sitting next to me.
00:25:56.44\00:25:58.00
The whole group is
trying to answer the question.
00:25:58.03\00:26:00.58
And then I didn't even
know what the question was.
00:26:00.61\00:26:03.13
But she smelled
like pot and cigarettes.
00:26:03.16\00:26:05.31
And so in the conversation
it ended up coming around
00:26:05.35\00:26:08.74
to cigarette are
not good for you.
00:26:08.78\00:26:11.48
And I am thinking we didn't
just tell her that, did we?
00:26:11.52\00:26:14.66
You know, everything in we
just wanted to cry for her.
00:26:14.69\00:26:17.80
So I turned around
and then I said to her.
00:26:17.83\00:26:19.43
I am a heroine
addict in recovery.
00:26:19.46\00:26:20.97
I am been homeless most
of life my family is a mess.
00:26:21.01\00:26:23.74
My sister has a porn site
00:26:23.78\00:26:25.15
on the internet,
is in the stripper.
00:26:25.18\00:26:26.55
My other sister
is a meth addict.
00:26:26.58\00:26:28.04
Sells meth at my parent's house.
00:26:28.08\00:26:29.67
My dad died in a
crack house, you know.
00:26:29.71\00:26:31.69
And I am thinking you
know what the only thing
00:26:31.73\00:26:34.19
I know for sure, is if
you grab hold of Christ
00:26:34.23\00:26:37.05
and never let go that
you will get through this.
00:26:37.08\00:26:39.86
That's the only thing I know.
00:26:39.90\00:26:41.27
And the whole group
is looking at me like,
00:26:41.30\00:26:42.90
did you just make that up?
00:26:42.94\00:26:46.35
And I am like I
am good like that.
00:26:46.38\00:26:48.10
You know, and so you know I
just thought man and I couldn't.
00:26:48.13\00:26:52.15
You know, I wanted
to say more to her.
00:26:52.19\00:26:54.18
That then they
were back in the group.
00:26:54.21\00:26:56.13
You know and we are back
now paying attention the Doug.
00:26:56.17\00:26:59.31
And I am trying to find her,
but you can't keep looking back,
00:26:59.34\00:27:02.53
because I am in the
front row and that really
00:27:02.56\00:27:04.64
is the disrupted to
the speaker and everything.
00:27:04.68\00:27:06.68
I want to keep looking
back and see where she ended up
00:27:06.72\00:27:09.33
sitting, because she
now not sitting next to me.
00:27:09.36\00:27:12.11
And so I keep trying to
find her and then I realize
00:27:12.14\00:27:15.03
that I am really
interfering with the speaker's
00:27:15.06\00:27:17.91
ability to oncentrate.
00:27:17.95\00:27:19.47
So I just sat
there and listened.
00:27:19.51\00:27:21.98
After it was over I
decided to go find her.
00:27:22.01\00:27:24.99
You know, and
just tell I am sorry.
00:27:25.03\00:27:27.33
I am sorry if he said
something that hurt you.
00:27:27.37\00:27:29.51
I am sorry if we met in
the whole smoking thing,
00:27:29.55\00:27:31.64
but you know what,
sometimes it's not the issue,
00:27:31.68\00:27:33.74
it's so not the issue.
00:27:33.78\00:27:35.30
And does anybody
hear me raise your hand
00:27:35.33\00:27:37.13
if you hear me when I say that.
00:27:37.17\00:27:38.57
Then this is her cigarette
smoking was not the issue.
00:27:38.61\00:27:41.97
Her pot smoking
was not the issue.
00:27:42.01\00:27:43.92
Her drug was not the issue.
00:27:43.95\00:27:45.51
And so I am trying to find
her and I couldn't find her.
00:27:45.55\00:27:47.93
I looked in the toilet,
I looked in the front yard,
00:27:47.96\00:27:50.31
I looked all of
that kind of stuff.
00:27:50.34\00:27:51.71
And finally I thought you
know as the night went on,
00:27:51.74\00:27:54.24
I just find the evangelist.
00:27:54.28\00:27:56.25
You know, I found out
where they put him, you know.
00:27:56.29\00:27:59.11
And he wasn't like I said he
wasn't a pastor at that time.
00:27:59.14\00:28:02.00
He was just a
traveling evangelist.
00:28:02.03\00:28:03.40
So they had stuck
him in a hotel somewhere.
00:28:03.43\00:28:05.20
About eleven thirty at
night I did find him, you know.
00:28:05.23\00:28:08.92
So I am like, my name is Cheri.
00:28:08.95\00:28:11.33
This prostitute came in
and I think we hurt her.
00:28:11.37\00:28:16.46
And he said it was unbelievable.
00:28:16.50\00:28:19.22
I invited her to the meetings.
00:28:19.25\00:28:21.90
And I thought oh
man, how cool is that.
00:28:21.94\00:28:24.93
You know, and so
you need to call her.
00:28:24.96\00:28:27.88
You need to tell her
because that you know I my fear
00:28:27.92\00:28:30.40
is that may be we just
hurt her and may be, no, no,
00:28:30.43\00:28:32.88
I am sorry, so please.
00:28:32.91\00:28:34.28
First of all you
pray for her then call her
00:28:34.31\00:28:37.00
and he got real
quite almost like annoyed,
00:28:37.04\00:28:39.88
quite does anybody, can anybody
00:28:39.91\00:28:41.28
tell when that switch
is in the conversation.
00:28:41.31\00:28:43.81
And almost like that
and what he said next
00:28:43.84\00:28:46.44
was life changing for me.
00:28:46.47\00:28:47.87
What he said next was God
didn't set her next to me.
00:28:47.90\00:28:53.20
Then I thought,
what did he mean by that?
00:28:53.24\00:28:56.31
You know, and I am thinking
he's like when God's sit
00:28:56.34\00:28:58.57
somebody next to
you, you call her.
00:28:58.60\00:29:02.39
And I am thinking oh
yeah but I am nobody.
00:29:02.43\00:29:04.49
Do you know what that mean?
00:29:04.52\00:29:06.25
I am nobody, I am just a druggy.
00:29:06.28\00:29:08.12
You know, that you know,
00:29:08.16\00:29:09.53
and I want to
say that I am nobody.
00:29:09.56\00:29:11.15
I- you know you need to
pray for her and call her.
00:29:11.19\00:29:13.53
And then it was
really a cool statement.
00:29:13.56\00:29:15.47
He said nobody is nobody.
00:29:15.51\00:29:17.45
You know, same God, same
Holy Spirit, same prayer,
00:29:17.49\00:29:20.83
same all that kind of stuff.
00:29:20.86\00:29:22.31
And when God sits
somebody next to you,
00:29:22.34\00:29:23.98
because you can talk with them
00:29:24.02\00:29:25.39
more than anybody
else can talk with them.
00:29:25.42\00:29:27.18
And so I ended up you know,
00:29:27.21\00:29:29.40
because I
couldn't do anything else.
00:29:29.44\00:29:31.68
She gave me the phone number.
00:29:31.71\00:29:33.08
He hangs up and I
eventually call her.
00:29:33.11\00:29:35.35
And she has a history
that was unbelievable-
00:29:35.38\00:29:37.56
molested to a stripper, a drug
addict has been on the streets
00:29:37.59\00:29:40.54
for the long time, never
has had any sense of any value
00:29:40.58\00:29:44.60
within herself at all.
00:29:44.64\00:29:46.50
And it was being able to just
be it was delightful to sit down
00:29:46.53\00:29:50.65
with her and actually
show her, her own value,
00:29:50.69\00:29:54.58
who she is and how
to kind of step away
00:29:54.61\00:29:56.96
from all that kind of stuff.
00:29:56.99\00:29:58.46
And so I think that
in that kind of sense
00:29:58.50\00:30:00.55
it was nobody in the room
that could have caught her.
00:30:00.58\00:30:02.59
Out of 8,000
people except for somebody
00:30:02.63\00:30:05.07
that had kind of had
a similar kind of thing.
00:30:05.10\00:30:07.68
But anyhow so when
Doug calls or his church
00:30:07.72\00:30:10.16
calls and says
would you come and speak
00:30:10.19\00:30:12.60
I was so delighted to do that.
00:30:12.63\00:30:14.88
I though, you know what,
00:30:14.91\00:30:16.83
he really did
influenced my life.
00:30:16.87\00:30:19.10
He really did
changed my view of who I am,
00:30:19.13\00:30:21.90
and how does that ministry
and all of that kind of stuff,
00:30:21.93\00:30:24.47
so I am so excited.
00:30:24.51\00:30:26.12
And I so know that, you know,
00:30:26.16\00:30:28.06
I am a mess and I'm not sure
really how to do this sharing.
00:30:28.10\00:30:30.80
Sometimes it works
sometimes it doesn't.
00:30:30.84\00:30:33.02
You know, I have seen speakers
and they have the podium
00:30:33.06\00:30:35.92
and their notes are there.
00:30:35.96\00:30:37.33
You know, I have tried to
that I can't even do that.
00:30:37.36\00:30:39.34
You know, I have just I
know all that kind of stuff
00:30:39.38\00:30:41.68
so I went out and got outfits,
so I at least look cute,
00:30:41.71\00:30:43.98
because if I really mess up
00:30:44.01\00:30:46.86
that's you know
that's important again.
00:30:46.89\00:30:48.42
So I went out and got
soon out read and I am ready
00:30:48.46\00:30:51.62
and I am gonna do
the youth meetings.
00:30:51.66\00:30:54.25
So I am gonna
speak for the youth.
00:30:54.29\00:30:56.30
3ABN was
speaking for the adults.
00:30:56.33\00:30:58.27
So I had to never you
know, not that I never heard
00:30:58.31\00:31:01.21
that network, but I
had never orked with them.
00:31:01.25\00:31:04.12
And so they're
gonna do the adults,
00:31:04.16\00:31:05.53
I am doing the youth
00:31:05.56\00:31:07.37
and I get there and it
was really interesting,
00:31:07.40\00:31:10.65
because I was at
only one kind of on
00:31:10.68\00:31:16.15
the platform for the youth.
00:31:16.19\00:31:18.48
Does anybody do
youth ministries?
00:31:18.52\00:31:21.17
For two days, it would be me.
00:31:21.20\00:31:23.78
Doing prayer, I am
luckily I don't sing.
00:31:23.81\00:31:26.82
But you know, I
needed someone to sing
00:31:26.86\00:31:29.79
and you know because
youth love that stuff.
00:31:29.83\00:31:32.04
And so I am thinking, you know,
00:31:32.07\00:31:33.76
music and all
that kind of stuff.
00:31:33.80\00:31:35.42
And I don't know why it
was only one on the platform,
00:31:35.45\00:31:37.47
but you know, may be I
just misunderstood that.
00:31:37.51\00:31:39.71
But anyhow so I said to
them we're in Sacramento now,
00:31:39.75\00:31:44.13
and I am gonna do the youth.
00:31:44.16\00:31:45.79
And so I said you know
don't they herd the singers
00:31:45.83\00:31:48.66
like live right up the street.
00:31:48.69\00:31:50.39
Let's just call them, and
have them come in, you know.
00:31:50.43\00:31:53.54
And they said well,
you can't just call them
00:31:53.58\00:31:56.20
like what are you are
doing tonight, you know.
00:31:56.23\00:31:58.82
And I am thinking
about don't they work
00:31:58.86\00:32:01.62
for the same guy I work for.
00:32:01.66\00:32:03.21
May be God's already told them.
00:32:03.25\00:32:04.74
You know, and so let's just
call them and there was somebody
00:32:04.77\00:32:07.54
there that was annoyed
by my-because I made a joke
00:32:07.58\00:32:11.35
and it probably
didn't turn out funny
00:32:11.39\00:32:12.76
and whatever and they
just looked at me like-you know
00:32:12.79\00:32:15.95
so I decided to be quite
00:32:15.99\00:32:17.72
and when we out to
lunch, had a nice lunch.
00:32:17.75\00:32:20.17
On our way back we were passing
by was called Adventist health.
00:32:20.20\00:32:23.19
And I have a
friend who works there
00:32:23.23\00:32:24.66
and they had moved
from where I had lived.
00:32:24.69\00:32:26.21
And I wanted to say hi.
00:32:26.25\00:32:27.79
And I always say I wanted
to say hi, that is not true,
00:32:27.82\00:32:31.22
I wanted to say I am speaking
at Doug Batchelor's church.
00:32:31.26\00:32:34.62
How fun is that.
00:32:34.66\00:32:36.03
And I wanted to go and he
was just like I was so excited,
00:32:36.06\00:32:39.91
I wanted to shout to
somebody that knew me.
00:32:39.95\00:32:42.07
And I wanted to
stop acting like an adult
00:32:42.11\00:32:44.43
and I wanted to
really just jump up and down
00:32:44.46\00:32:46.75
in the joy of how God uses us.
00:32:46.78\00:32:49.11
And I wanted to just say
that in every single way.
00:32:49.14\00:32:51.40
But you couldn't say
that because I am supposed
00:32:51.44\00:32:53.63
to be like the speaker and
you walk in like all casual.
00:32:53.67\00:32:56.52
And so, I end up
stopping at Adventist health
00:32:56.55\00:32:59.21
and I asked for Kevin
my friend to come down
00:32:59.25\00:33:01.83
and he came down and I said all
of that I was just like whaa...
00:33:01.87\00:33:04.90
done and he's
excited because he knows me
00:33:04.94\00:33:07.73
and we both just were excited.
00:33:07.77\00:33:09.20
And then I said
the only thing is,
00:33:09.23\00:33:10.60
that we don't have any
music, it's just you know,
00:33:10.63\00:33:13.44
and I knew Kevin played guitar,
00:33:13.47\00:33:14.84
so I was helping he
would say oh I will do it.
00:33:14.87\00:33:16.67
But we don't have any music
but the receptionist from across
00:33:16.70\00:33:19.27
the room says, oh I
know the heritage singers
00:33:19.30\00:33:22.07
do you want me to call them.
00:33:22.10\00:33:25.05
All right, and in most
of them were out of town,
00:33:25.09\00:33:29.45
but there was a few in
town and they said absolutely.
00:33:29.49\00:33:32.93
How fun would that being
and so we had some couple
00:33:32.96\00:33:36.37
of the heritage
singers come in and sing.
00:33:36.40\00:33:38.86
So now, we're getting
ready to do the event.
00:33:38.89\00:33:41.28
And a girl from the church
that says I am doing ministry
00:33:41.31\00:33:46.98
at a low income
drug area in town.
00:33:47.02\00:33:50.10
Would you come and say anything
00:33:50.13\00:33:52.46
to the addicts that are there.
00:33:52.50\00:33:54.76
Would you invite
them to the meeting?
00:33:54.79\00:33:56.77
And I thought,
oh how fun is that.
00:33:56.80\00:33:58.68
You know so yeah,
yeah I will do it.
00:33:58.72\00:34:00.52
And so we go into this area
of town that is just trashed.
00:34:00.56\00:34:03.85
Do you guys haves those areas?
00:34:03.89\00:34:05.50
Where you know, all
the druggies are here
00:34:05.54\00:34:07.15
and police are lot of times
00:34:07.19\00:34:08.56
there and all
that kind of stuff.
00:34:08.59\00:34:09.96
So we pull into
the area of town.
00:34:09.99\00:34:11.48
I get out of the car, First of
all I because I am evangelists
00:34:11.51\00:34:15.93
now obviously because I am going
00:34:15.97\00:34:17.72
into this low
income apartment complex.
00:34:17.75\00:34:20.46
And I say we should pray, right.
00:34:20.49\00:34:22.75
And I don't' know what to pray,
00:34:22.78\00:34:24.97
because I am just
haven't done this lot yet.
00:34:25.00\00:34:26.97
So I thought oh I
just pray well I think
00:34:27.00\00:34:28.93
I have heard someone else pray.
00:34:28.97\00:34:30.34
And so I shut my
eyes and I said God.
00:34:30.37\00:34:32.24
Go before us and open up
all the doors, and bestow on us.
00:34:32.28\00:34:36.05
And I am
thinking I don't even know
00:34:36.08\00:34:37.57
what bestow on us means.
00:34:37.61\00:34:39.17
You know what I mean
but I am saying exactly
00:34:39.21\00:34:41.10
what I am supposed
to say as an evangelist,
00:34:41.13\00:34:42.99
because I am doing a good job.
00:34:43.02\00:34:44.39
And I get out of that car
00:34:44.42\00:34:45.79
and I am dressed in
that outfit that I got.
00:34:45.82\00:34:48.63
And I feel like I
look like Mary Poppins.
00:34:48.66\00:34:51.57
I am in this area with people
00:34:51.61\00:34:53.58
that are just
their life is thrashed.
00:34:53.61\00:34:56.24
They're in and out of jail,
00:34:56.28\00:34:57.65
they're in and out
of their addictions
00:34:57.68\00:34:59.05
of all that kind of stuff
00:34:59.08\00:35:00.45
and I get out and
I just look up myself
00:35:00.48\00:35:01.98
and I almost wanted to just
crack up, it was so ridiculous.
00:35:02.01\00:35:05.64
So, I this girl
comes up her name is Sammy.
00:35:05.68\00:35:08.58
Sammy comes up and
I don't know how old
00:35:08.61\00:35:11.47
she is, but she was little.
00:35:11.51\00:35:13.13
I would guess five or six
and she comes up and she says,
00:35:13.16\00:35:19.44
what do you want?
00:35:19.48\00:35:21.72
And she's got this little gang
with her all little tiny kids.
00:35:21.75\00:35:25.52
And I said well what
do you want and you know
00:35:25.56\00:35:28.59
what she is saying
that because she thinks
00:35:28.62\00:35:31.62
I am a social
worker and she thinks
00:35:31.65\00:35:33.35
I'm gonna remove
her from her family.
00:35:33.38\00:35:34.75
Do you know what I mean?
00:35:34.78\00:35:36.15
Because those
kids do not trust you.
00:35:36.18\00:35:37.80
You look like this.
00:35:37.83\00:35:39.33
And they're gonna
ask you the same thing
00:35:39.37\00:35:40.78
but she was so tough.
00:35:40.82\00:35:42.63
How old are you?
00:35:42.66\00:35:46.06
Six, she was five I think,
so she was about your age.
00:35:46.09\00:35:49.41
Come up here for a
minute. Can you come up?
00:35:49.45\00:35:51.29
And what was really
interesting about her
00:35:51.33\00:35:53.80
is that she was
beautiful like you.
00:35:53.84\00:35:56.09
She was like so adorable
and she was just checking me
00:35:56.13\00:35:59.15
out and finally I have
written a book about how God
00:35:59.18\00:36:02.81
helps us and changes our
lives and her mom was a mess.
00:36:02.85\00:36:06.44
And so she said to me my
mom need you to talk with her.
00:36:06.48\00:36:10.04
How fun is that.
00:36:10.08\00:36:11.74
Thank you, so she
says I am telling her
00:36:11.78\00:36:15.31
that I am an addict in recovery.
00:36:15.35\00:36:17.97
I am just, I am
doing meetings in town
00:36:18.00\00:36:20.37
and I wanted to
talk about how God
00:36:20.40\00:36:22.74
can change your life.
00:36:22.77\00:36:24.14
And she just told me, that
you need to talk to my mom.
00:36:24.17\00:36:27.89
And so she starts to take
me to the apartment complex
00:36:27.92\00:36:31.75
that she lives
in and it's a mess.
00:36:31.79\00:36:33.56
The grass is
hardly taken care of.
00:36:33.59\00:36:35.29
The kids definitely are
out wandering by themselves.
00:36:35.33\00:36:37.74
I mean you can
tell that everything
00:36:37.78\00:36:39.27
about it it's a
druggy apartment.
00:36:39.30\00:36:40.88
So we get into this foyer area.
00:36:40.92\00:36:42.43
The apartments around us like
this and there is a staircase
00:36:42.47\00:36:44.98
going up to the top apartments
00:36:45.02\00:36:47.15
and we are like
in this bottom area
00:36:47.19\00:36:49.27
should be grass, but
there is mostly cement and dirt.
00:36:49.31\00:36:51.88
And so I am
standing there with the kids
00:36:51.91\00:36:53.85
and they're
yelling over each other.
00:36:53.89\00:36:55.75
Like they're telling me
you know my dad's in jail
00:36:55.79\00:36:58.60
but his
girlfriends taking care of me.
00:36:58.64\00:37:00.52
I said you could talk
with her and he's in jail
00:37:00.56\00:37:03.02
because he beats my mom.
00:37:03.05\00:37:04.46
Do you know how kids
gets so honest with you.
00:37:04.49\00:37:06.34
I mean they will tell you
everything once they trust you,
00:37:06.38\00:37:08.46
and they were kind of yelling
over each other telling me.
00:37:08.50\00:37:10.55
So that addictions
that what they have known.
00:37:10.59\00:37:13.53
I mean some of those kids
live on meth not methadone
00:37:13.57\00:37:16.62
a meth and phetamine lab.
00:37:16.66\00:37:18.36
Some of those kids are
in the midst of chemicals
00:37:18.40\00:37:20.31
and drug
dealings and all that kind
00:37:20.35\00:37:22.06
of stuff and that's their life.
00:37:22.09\00:37:23.46
So they're kind of
telling me little bits
00:37:23.49\00:37:25.67
and pieces of
that kind of stuff,
00:37:25.71\00:37:27.47
but they're making so much noise
00:37:27.51\00:37:29.20
that I look up and
the doors were open.
00:37:29.24\00:37:33.14
Because people were
trying to figure out
00:37:33.17\00:37:34.54
what the kids were doing,
00:37:34.57\00:37:35.94
they're making
all this noise about.
00:37:35.97\00:37:37.34
And I almost wanted
to sob, because I thought
00:37:37.37\00:37:39.49
you know I just
felt like the Holy Spirit
00:37:39.52\00:37:42.04
said I answered your prayers.
00:37:42.08\00:37:44.01
The doors are open and I
am thinking but I didn't mean.
00:37:44.05\00:37:47.27
You know, I didn't mean that.
00:37:47.31\00:37:48.72
You know, what I
mean I just prayed
00:37:48.76\00:37:50.62
that because and I think
God just wanted me to know
00:37:50.65\00:37:53.62
be careful what you pray for,
because I am listening to you,
00:37:53.65\00:37:56.03
but the doors were open.
00:37:56.07\00:37:57.44
Now I've got to try
to figure out the way
00:37:57.47\00:37:59.26
to get somebody
down from the upstairs.
00:37:59.30\00:38:01.17
They are out of their
apartments to this inner area
00:38:01.20\00:38:03.80
where we are at right.
00:38:03.83\00:38:05.30
And remember I
said Pacific press
00:38:05.34\00:38:07.35
did the book Miracle
from the Street, right.
00:38:07.39\00:38:09.56
And it's my life story
and all that kind of stuff.
00:38:09.59\00:38:12.39
I really think its
vindication of who God is.
00:38:12.43\00:38:14.53
I don't think
it's about me at all.
00:38:14.57\00:38:16.04
I think it is about
how incredible God is.
00:38:16.08\00:38:18.55
And so anyhow so I
had about thirty books
00:38:18.58\00:38:21.27
that I brought for
the youth for the weekend
00:38:21.30\00:38:23.57
and they're in the
trunk of this girl's car.
00:38:23.61\00:38:25.85
So I have these books.
00:38:25.88\00:38:27.71
So I have one in my hand
00:38:27.75\00:38:29.51
and I don't know why I just
had, but I had one in my hand,
00:38:29.55\00:38:31.94
and I said you should
see the cover of this book.
00:38:31.97\00:38:36.30
I wrote a book about
my recovery from hell
00:38:36.34\00:38:38.39
and you should see the cover.
00:38:38.43\00:38:40.03
And they said what so
funny about the cover,
00:38:40.06\00:38:41.86
because I was laughing.
00:38:41.90\00:38:43.27
When they did the
book they gave the art
00:38:43.30\00:38:46.34
the design of
the cover to somebody
00:38:46.38\00:38:48.61
that's I think about
hundredth generation Adventist.
00:38:48.65\00:38:53.00
And they gave it to them
00:38:53.03\00:38:55.19
and they were
incredible artists,
00:38:55.23\00:38:56.60
but they didn't know this
lifestyle this background.
00:38:56.63\00:38:59.55
And they did
this kind of drawing
00:38:59.58\00:39:01.97
of what it was like to
come from where I came from.
00:39:02.00\00:39:05.52
And there were little
drawings you know colored rice,
00:39:05.55\00:39:09.03
but little
drawings, and one side
00:39:09.06\00:39:11.37
they had this
mahogany table, just beautiful,
00:39:11.41\00:39:16.53
with lines of coke on it.
00:39:16.56\00:39:19.50
Four-four lines of coke
in each area, the four areas.
00:39:19.54\00:39:22.73
If you put that in
perspective of the lines of coke
00:39:22.76\00:39:25.92
were probably 2 feet
by 2 feet in four lines.
00:39:25.95\00:39:30.33
And the mahogany
table was just beautiful.
00:39:30.37\00:39:34.67
No scratches, no beer
cans, no mirrors, no razors,
00:39:34.71\00:39:38.58
no paraphernalia of any
kind, just a beautiful table
00:39:38.62\00:39:41.85
with four lines of coke
in front of each person.
00:39:41.89\00:39:45.05
And the people that were sitting
they're doing the lines of coke
00:39:45.09\00:39:48.85
looked like Ken and Barbie.
00:39:48.88\00:39:51.85
You know they were beautiful,
did nice little dress on
00:39:51.88\00:39:56.18
and did wonder the dress
00:39:56.21\00:39:57.58
is kind of a peach
dress just lovely, you know.
00:39:57.61\00:40:01.26
And she had her
hair done perfectly.
00:40:01.30\00:40:03.80
You know what I
mean and no, you know,
00:40:03.83\00:40:06.26
when we shoot up, we have
open abscesses on our arm.
00:40:06.30\00:40:09.69
So you know what I mean,
00:40:09.73\00:40:11.10
it's ridiculous
we have crank sores
00:40:11.13\00:40:12.85
and we know we
don't look that good.
00:40:12.89\00:40:14.82
We just so look that good
and the guy was just handsome.
00:40:14.86\00:40:18.85
Just handsome and I just
I thought how funny is that.
00:40:18.89\00:40:22.33
And so I said you got to
see this cover the other side
00:40:22.36\00:40:25.77
where I got kidnapped
by the motorcycle gang
00:40:25.81\00:40:28.51
right where I was
held there and I watched
00:40:28.55\00:40:31.22
the 13 year old raped and killed
00:40:31.26\00:40:33.88
during
initiation for new members.
00:40:33.92\00:40:36.47
I watched the most
brutal things during that time
00:40:36.51\00:40:39.99
that was
unbelievable told a little bit
00:40:40.02\00:40:42.23
of that story in the book.
00:40:42.26\00:40:44.00
And yet the motorcycle gang
00:40:44.03\00:40:45.70
that he drove on look
likes some really nice
00:40:45.73\00:40:49.13
Adventist guys
out for a bike ride.
00:40:49.17\00:40:52.10
I haven't told her,
so that I can even give
00:40:52.13\00:40:53.71
this book away
that looks so good.
00:40:53.75\00:40:55.73
And they ended up changing
the graphics a little bit
00:40:55.76\00:40:58.75
and put sunglasses on them.
00:40:58.78\00:41:01.36
I am thinking that
didn't really work, you know.
00:41:01.40\00:41:03.92
And so I just said to these
people that were at the doors.
00:41:03.96\00:41:07.85
This is the funniest
cover you will ever see.
00:41:07.89\00:41:10.77
The person that did
the cover of my book
00:41:10.80\00:41:12.66
had never done a
drug, was born and raised
00:41:12.70\00:41:14.49
in a Christian environment
and loved all there like,
00:41:14.52\00:41:16.53
they didn't know anything
00:41:16.56\00:41:17.93
but you will just
crack up over this.
00:41:17.96\00:41:19.60
So pretty soon I have about
30 people standing around me
00:41:19.64\00:41:23.07
busting up at this cover.
00:41:23.10\00:41:24.95
The first thing they
said when they looked
00:41:24.98\00:41:26.53
at the cover one girl said.
00:41:26.56\00:41:29.73
Is that heaven?
00:41:29.77\00:41:32.93
No you don't get big lines
00:41:32.96\00:41:34.66
of coke in
heaven on clean tables.
00:41:34.70\00:41:36.77
We don't even have
to chop it up anymore
00:41:36.80\00:41:38.41
to find because God is God.
00:41:38.45\00:41:41.61
So everybody is
joking about stuff.
00:41:41.64\00:41:43.73
Everybody is doing that
kind of thing and I said to them
00:41:43.76\00:41:46.53
I would like you to
come to the meetings tonight.
00:41:46.56\00:41:49.51
And I would like to be my guest.
00:41:49.54\00:41:51.67
Some of them didn't
have a way to get down there.
00:41:51.70\00:41:54.04
And I will send some, you
know, Lindy was a girl with me,
00:41:54.07\00:41:56.55
I sent Lindy down with a
van just anybody can come
00:41:56.58\00:42:00.42
and they were so messed up
when I say fresh abscesses.
00:42:00.45\00:42:04.09
Have you ever seen an addict
00:42:04.12\00:42:05.49
where they have to
shoot in the same place
00:42:05.52\00:42:06.90
because all their
veins have collapsed.
00:42:06.93\00:42:08.51
They have to literally use
the same place and the same vein
00:42:08.54\00:42:11.42
and it gets really infected,
00:42:11.46\00:42:13.38
yet they keep going
into the same place.
00:42:13.42\00:42:15.69
You know, it's
just that was the addict
00:42:15.73\00:42:17.97
that we were inviting.
00:42:18.00\00:42:19.37
I mean they would these
were not people in recovery
00:42:19.40\00:42:21.54
at any level and
it was just amazing.
00:42:21.57\00:42:24.13
And I thought to
myself I would be so honored
00:42:24.17\00:42:27.78
to have you there as my guests.
00:42:27.82\00:42:29.34
And so I didn't
expect anybody to come,
00:42:29.37\00:42:31.18
but I came that night to
do a talk and the addicts
00:42:31.21\00:42:35.24
from Banyan Street were taking
out the first two rows, right,
00:42:35.27\00:42:39.65
the first rows with Sammy
00:42:39.68\00:42:42.79
just proudly sitting
there, like I brought them all.
00:42:42.82\00:42:46.46
And I thought
how adorable are you?
00:42:46.50\00:42:50.54
I just and so
anyhow I started to do
00:42:50.58\00:42:54.56
I always have to tell
too much details I am sure,
00:42:54.59\00:42:56.93
but somebody
walked in from that church
00:42:56.96\00:43:02.03
and they're gonna introduced me.
00:43:02.07\00:43:04.21
And so they gonna
introduce me and they came up
00:43:04.24\00:43:06.50
and I am talking
with this whole group
00:43:06.54\00:43:08.20
and they came up
to he whole group
00:43:08.24\00:43:09.87
and said which one is Cheri.
00:43:09.90\00:43:13.06
And I am
thinking oh, but I looked
00:43:13.09\00:43:15.71
a little going on recovery.
00:43:15.74\00:43:17.69
Well I thought that
was the funniest statement
00:43:17.72\00:43:19.29
I said that was me.
00:43:19.33\00:43:20.70
And then he's gonna introduce
me want the copy of the book.
00:43:20.73\00:43:23.42
So he can introduce
me and show the book.
00:43:23.46\00:43:25.67
I had given all of
them away on Banyan Street.
00:43:25.70\00:43:27.66
I gave them all to the addicts
00:43:27.69\00:43:29.06
that were down
there, so I don't have any.
00:43:29.09\00:43:31.00
And so I said to
anybody in the group,
00:43:31.03\00:43:33.70
does anybody in
the group have a book
00:43:33.74\00:43:36.37
that I gave you today.
00:43:36.40\00:43:37.77
And so one of woman stands
she's like a biker, a biker.
00:43:37.80\00:43:44.71
Meth addict meth
and phetamine addict
00:43:44.75\00:43:46.17
and she is a mason.
00:43:46.20\00:43:47.57
She is about 5'.9".
00:43:47.60\00:43:48.97
And she stands up
and she looks at me
00:43:49.00\00:43:50.60
and so she said I had mine.
00:43:50.63\00:43:54.68
Can I borrow it?
00:43:54.71\00:43:57.62
And she said yeah,
but I best get this back.
00:43:57.65\00:44:02.28
And I am thinking she's
just threatening me you know.
00:44:02.32\00:44:05.56
I will give it back.
00:44:05.60\00:44:06.97
And she reaches in her
bag and pulls the book out
00:44:07.00\00:44:10.45
and it's wrapped in cellophane.
00:44:10.49\00:44:12.99
So it's doesn't get bent.
00:44:13.02\00:44:15.10
Somebody please
stay with me on this.
00:44:15.13\00:44:16.81
I couldn't believe
that I wanted to just weep
00:44:16.85\00:44:18.85
for her because nobody can
tell me she was not searching
00:44:18.89\00:44:21.31
for anything if
anything-something.
00:44:21.35\00:44:23.09
This is a cheap paper back book
00:44:23.13\00:44:24.81
and no offense
for Pacific press.
00:44:24.84\00:44:26.45
I mean this is a normal
ordinary paper back book.
00:44:26.49\00:44:29.67
And yet she's got it
wrapped and protected
00:44:29.71\00:44:32.59
and she has to
unwrap it to give it to me.
00:44:32.62\00:44:35.47
She's already start reading it.
00:44:35.50\00:44:37.01
She's got a bookmark in it.
00:44:37.05\00:44:38.74
And I just wanted to say
00:44:38.78\00:44:40.41
I mean man you have to keep
hold of God and keep searching.
00:44:40.44\00:44:43.19
It was just the most
anointed moment I think.
00:44:43.23\00:44:45.84
So she gives me the
book I give it to the pastor
00:44:45.88\00:44:48.45
he's gonna introduce me.
00:44:48.49\00:44:49.86
And we're sitting
next to each other,
00:44:49.89\00:44:51.86
heritage singers
are singing some things
00:44:51.90\00:44:53.98
and so it was amazing
and he's opens up the book.
00:44:54.01\00:44:57.72
I am not sure why
but he opens up the book
00:44:57.75\00:44:59.41
and all of the sudden I
feel like I'm stiffening up
00:44:59.45\00:45:02.32
and kind of move away from me.
00:45:02.35\00:45:03.78
And I am thinking, oh
man what pages you're on,
00:45:04.03\00:45:08.10
'cause I just
want to say you know,
00:45:08.13\00:45:10.99
you got to be the
whole thing in context.
00:45:11.02\00:45:14.09
So anyhow, so he is moving away
00:45:14.12\00:45:17.50
and I want to see
what page he's on.
00:45:17.53\00:45:19.10
And I just want to
look you know does he
00:45:19.13\00:45:21.20
what I have to kind of
excuse or say or whatever.
00:45:21.23\00:45:24.16
And he's not on the
pages-- looking at the bookmark
00:45:24.19\00:45:26.22
that she had in the
book and the bookmark
00:45:26.25\00:45:28.85
said the Ten Commandments are
sexually transmitted diseases,
00:45:28.88\00:45:33.71
and I thought that is her book.
00:45:33.74\00:45:36.68
That is not even my bookmark.
00:45:36.71\00:45:39.69
But I just had to laugh I
thought, you know, I am not,
00:45:39.72\00:45:42.04
I didn't have time to say that.
00:45:42.07\00:45:43.64
Well I know this poor guy
is like she didn't recover yet.
00:45:43.67\00:45:46.19
And you know, I am like so
anyhow so he introduces me.
00:45:46.22\00:45:49.46
I get on the platform
and I start to tell the story
00:45:49.49\00:45:52.77
just the testimony
and there were people
00:45:52.80\00:45:55.48
that were sobbing so loud.
00:45:55.51\00:45:57.35
I had to talk
over them to continue.
00:45:57.38\00:46:01.07
Do you know what I am saying,
because it was their life?
00:46:01.10\00:46:03.70
You know, they're in
that and it was their life.
00:46:03.73\00:46:06.28
And I could hear and
see them coming to a place
00:46:06.31\00:46:10.28
where what I am saying
they are for one my guest
00:46:10.31\00:46:13.49
and what I am saying
there's a God big enough
00:46:13.52\00:46:15.50
that he can
restore you to sanity.
00:46:15.53\00:46:17.25
There's a God big enough
00:46:17.28\00:46:18.65
that can take these
addictions and set you free.
00:46:18.68\00:46:20.47
There is a God big enough
00:46:20.50\00:46:21.87
that actually has a plan for
your life that you can step away
00:46:21.90\00:46:24.52
from all of this
junk and do something
00:46:24.55\00:46:26.96
that you will delight in.
00:46:26.99\00:46:28.36
I have seen
almost every country.
00:46:28.39\00:46:29.80
You know what I mean.
00:46:29.83\00:46:31.20
I have the most incredible life,
00:46:31.23\00:46:33.23
because of God's
promises and recovery,
00:46:33.26\00:46:35.39
and they were just getting
glimpses of that for themselves.
00:46:35.42\00:46:38.18
That was so powerful to
watch and but the whole time
00:46:38.21\00:46:42.01
there was this drunk guy.
00:46:42.04\00:46:44.47
And he was fallen
asleep through the whole sermon
00:46:44.50\00:46:48.17
and he would fall
asleep and snore so loud,
00:46:48.20\00:46:50.60
he would wake himself up.
00:46:50.63\00:46:52.00
Does anybody do that?
00:46:52.03\00:46:53.76
Don't raise your hands.
00:46:53.79\00:46:55.16
And unless it's the wife
00:46:55.19\00:46:56.56
that just want to
point to her husband.
00:46:56.59\00:46:57.96
You know, but anyhow
he's fallen asleep so much
00:46:57.99\00:47:00.28
that he could
just wake himself up.
00:47:00.31\00:47:01.68
It was just like this--annoying
thing and then he was drunk,
00:47:01.71\00:47:06.74
so he had to
explain to the person
00:47:06.77\00:47:08.55
beside him the fact that,
oh sorry did I fall asleep.
00:47:08.58\00:47:11.69
But the person beside him, he's
already keeps saying that to me.
00:47:11.72\00:47:14.48
I am listening you know,
and its just like through
00:47:14.51\00:47:16.59
the whole meeting he
would be doing stuff like that.
00:47:16.62\00:47:18.93
And so I was just annoyed
by him, because I'm watching
00:47:18.96\00:47:21.30
all on this
ministry and I'm doing
00:47:21.33\00:47:22.70
all this kind of
stuff, and I am just annoyed
00:47:22.73\00:47:24.10
and at the end some of
the people from Banyan Street
00:47:24.13\00:47:29.21
said to me, so it
was so incredible.
00:47:29.24\00:47:32.67
Is do you realize Cheri
00:47:32.70\00:47:34.07
that I haven't
ever been in a church.
00:47:34.10\00:47:36.47
And you have to act
surprise, no, really you know.
00:47:36.50\00:47:39.53
But you know of course I realize
that, I just want to hold you,
00:47:39.56\00:47:42.21
I just want to say welcome home.
00:47:42.24\00:47:44.68
You know, I just want
to say hold down to God.
00:47:44.71\00:47:46.63
It's just, it's so
incredible to have you here.
00:47:46.66\00:47:49.02
I want to tell them that
all of heaven is celebrating
00:47:49.05\00:47:51.53
the fact that you're in
this building right now,
00:47:51.56\00:47:53.20
all of that kind of stuff.
00:47:53.23\00:47:54.60
And I want to just
share all of that with him.
00:47:54.63\00:47:56.44
But I can't
because the drunk walks up.
00:47:56.47\00:47:59.33
And I am
thinking really right now,
00:47:59.36\00:48:01.68
you gonna walk up, you know.
00:48:01.71\00:48:03.18
And forgive me
for this next part
00:48:03.21\00:48:05.04
so I am just annoyed, you know.
00:48:05.07\00:48:06.68
And when you're annoyed
like this, its hard to really
00:48:06.71\00:48:09.26
think of
yourselves as an evangelist
00:48:09.29\00:48:10.66
because you think Jesus
probably was never annoyed.
00:48:10.69\00:48:13.24
You know-but I was just
annoyed, then he comes up
00:48:13.27\00:48:15.20
and he said, you
know, can I talk to you.
00:48:15.23\00:48:18.30
And I am thinking, you
know, I am talking you know
00:48:18.33\00:48:20.67
to these woman and
but I looked at him.
00:48:20.70\00:48:25.31
And there is
something about the way
00:48:25.34\00:48:26.71
he said that that
I said yeah you know.
00:48:26.74\00:48:29.17
And so we stepped away
and he said I was on my way
00:48:29.20\00:48:31.30
to kill myself today, and
I heard on a radio program
00:48:31.33\00:48:34.55
Amazing Facts,
that there was girl
00:48:34.58\00:48:36.02
that was going
to be at the church
00:48:36.05\00:48:37.42
and was gonna be talking about
being set free from our junk,
00:48:37.45\00:48:42.48
not only
addictions, but depression
00:48:42.51\00:48:44.87
and all that kind of
junk and dysfunctions
00:48:44.90\00:48:48.38
and stuff like
that, and I decided
00:48:48.41\00:48:50.48
to stop here first.
00:48:50.51\00:48:52.58
And I am thinking you
know, have you ever had a moment
00:48:52.61\00:48:55.38
when you know
you have to repent.
00:48:55.41\00:48:57.52
You know, it was just moment
00:48:57.55\00:48:58.92
just I wanted to say to him
I am so sorry for everything
00:48:58.95\00:49:01.19
that I have thought.
00:49:01.22\00:49:02.59
That I knew about
what was happening
00:49:02.62\00:49:03.99
with you and I said
what was going on, you know.
00:49:04.02\00:49:07.79
And he told me a story
that was absolutely incredible
00:49:07.82\00:49:11.33
but he was a
druggy out of the 70s.
00:49:11.36\00:49:15.99
Anybody can picture that?
00:49:16.02\00:49:18.75
You know, that whole
kind of longhair, lost of LST,
00:49:18.78\00:49:22.97
lots of you know, that
you know, yeah, Woodstock.
00:49:23.00\00:49:27.02
You know all of
that kind of stuff.
00:49:27.05\00:49:28.67
But he took a lot of LST.
00:49:28.70\00:49:31.87
Raise your hand if
you know what I mean.
00:49:31.90\00:49:34.50
He took a lot of that stuff
and so he's a little fragmented.
00:49:34.53\00:49:38.43
He's not really, you
know, like he's in and out
00:49:38.46\00:49:40.84
of being able to clearly
00:49:40.87\00:49:42.88
articulate this
stuff and all that.
00:49:42.91\00:49:44.47
But you know, you could
tell and he's still kind
00:49:44.50\00:49:47.16
of stringy hair and all that.
00:49:47.19\00:49:49.03
And he says that
you know during the 70s
00:49:49.06\00:49:51.35
when he's was really
high, a lot of the time
00:49:51.38\00:49:54.58
but somehow he got to
where he wanted to get a Bible.
00:49:54.61\00:49:58.45
You know, and he said man
you haven't studied at all,
00:49:58.48\00:50:02.89
till you studied the
Bible on LST, you know.
00:50:02.92\00:50:05.57
And I am sitting in the
church thinking that's funny.
00:50:05.60\00:50:08.31
You know it's
just good, you know,
00:50:08.34\00:50:10.19
because you have to act
like that's a normal statement.
00:50:10.22\00:50:12.60
But it just was funny to me.
00:50:12.63\00:50:14.18
And he said, but God got
him to where he was--he stopped
00:50:14.21\00:50:17.09
using lot of the psychedelics.
00:50:17.12\00:50:19.45
But he would just
like, he would sit at home
00:50:19.48\00:50:21.14
and he knew he
was too fragmented
00:50:21.17\00:50:23.32
to really go to a church.
00:50:23.35\00:50:24.72
So we would sit at
home and he would smoke
00:50:24.75\00:50:26.43
some weed and you know
study Ezekiel going like man
00:50:26.46\00:50:30.63
four wheels head spins around.
00:50:30.66\00:50:32.74
So you know, I am like thinking
that I just want to kiss you
00:50:32.77\00:50:39.19
on the face, you are so funny.
00:50:39.22\00:50:40.60
So he's telling all that
stuff and he said one time,
00:50:40.63\00:50:43.27
he welcome to joint studying
and something in Revelations.
00:50:43.30\00:50:46.53
And the ash from the joint fell
00:50:46.56\00:50:52.38
and it was like slow motion fell
00:50:52.41\00:50:55.40
and hit the page of the Bible
and just phew burned it out.
00:50:55.43\00:50:59.96
You know, not the
whole page but you know
00:50:59.99\00:51:02.11
and he is like oh man.
00:51:02.14\00:51:05.08
You know and I said what you do.
00:51:05.11\00:51:08.82
And he said well,
I switch to a pipe.
00:51:08.85\00:51:13.56
And I thought, I
just wanted to burst up.
00:51:13.59\00:51:16.58
But the whole time
what do you think God
00:51:16.61\00:51:19.71
was doing the whole time, loving
him, the whole time, loving him.
00:51:19.74\00:51:27.46
You know, he's taken
00:51:27.49\00:51:29.20
hallucinogenic,
studying the Bible.
00:51:29.23\00:51:30.75
He's smoking
weeds, studying the bible.
00:51:30.78\00:51:32.67
He is out of his
mind and he's studying
00:51:32.70\00:51:35.48
and the whole time God is
doing the sanctification process
00:51:35.51\00:51:38.78
one step after another after
another restoring his life.
00:51:38.81\00:51:42.42
Doing all that kind of
stuff as much as possible,
00:51:42.45\00:51:44.88
giving us back our
sanctity as much as possible.
00:51:44.91\00:51:47.54
Just an amazing
thing, so I am listening
00:51:47.57\00:51:49.32
to that and I thought,
oh, that is just amazing.
00:51:49.35\00:51:51.99
He decides he finally
stops smoking weed, you know,
00:51:52.02\00:51:55.58
so now he is
going to go to church.
00:51:55.61\00:51:58.33
How cool is that.
00:51:58.36\00:51:59.73
He's fragmented,
he's got long hair.
00:51:59.76\00:52:01.42
He looks like a hippy
that hasn't bath forever
00:52:01.46\00:52:03.94
and he's going to go to
church and he thought, oh wait.
00:52:03.97\00:52:07.23
I don't have a suit.
00:52:07.26\00:52:09.52
So I have to get a get a suit.
00:52:09.55\00:52:10.93
So he had a friend
that was a disco dancer.
00:52:10.96\00:52:15.65
And so he calls his friend
00:52:15.68\00:52:17.38
and he gets
this kind of powdered
00:52:17.41\00:52:19.32
baby glue suit
with this kind of.
00:52:19.35\00:52:22.50
Have you seen disco
dancers kind of a peach top
00:52:22.53\00:52:24.64
with a little thing, you
know, and he puts that on,
00:52:24.67\00:52:27.46
he's got long
hairs, he's fragmented.
00:52:27.49\00:52:28.86
He looks like a mess
and now he come in the door.
00:52:28.89\00:52:31.41
You know, and people didn't
just even know how to take him.
00:52:31.44\00:52:34.73
You know it was just ridiculous
and he's a kind of person
00:52:34.76\00:52:38.31
that you had this
person in your Bible study,
00:52:38.34\00:52:40.59
just you could read.
00:52:40.62\00:52:41.99
Raise your hand if you just
know comes into the Bible study
00:52:42.02\00:52:44.51
and they will be
talking about Revelations.
00:52:44.54\00:52:46.30
And he will say dude--
00:52:46.33\00:52:50.14
wasn't the whole
creation thing awesome.
00:52:50.17\00:52:54.22
Now, I love that part.
00:52:54.25\00:52:59.03
Okay, then they try
to get on something else.
00:52:59.06\00:53:01.98
And he's says,
even that whale thing.
00:53:02.01\00:53:04.31
Could you imagine
being in a belly of a whale.
00:53:04.34\00:53:07.24
I just can't, is that true.
00:53:07.27\00:53:10.40
You're doing
Revelations, you know,
00:53:10.43\00:53:11.87
and it's like he's just acting,
you couldn't stay anywhere
00:53:11.90\00:53:16.40
because he's just he
couldn't stay anywhere.
00:53:16.43\00:53:18.81
And so it was like
he's telling the story
00:53:18.84\00:53:20.87
and I am thinking I have met
00:53:20.90\00:53:22.27
people like that,
so I know people like
00:53:22.30\00:53:23.78
that and I am thinking well.
00:53:23.81\00:53:25.35
And then he is getting a lot
of help at mental health clinic
00:53:25.38\00:53:29.45
because he has to
go there for, you know,
00:53:29.48\00:53:31.46
just to get through his life.
00:53:31.49\00:53:33.18
And so he's
getting a lot of help,
00:53:33.21\00:53:34.64
but he falls in
love at group one night.
00:53:34.67\00:53:37.23
And met this girl that's
bipolar that he met there.
00:53:37.26\00:53:40.96
You know, and they fell in love.
00:53:40.99\00:53:42.36
And it was just like an
amazing romance and stuff.
00:53:42.39\00:53:45.09
And but she is so bipolar
00:53:45.12\00:53:46.49
that she's either
in bed soiling herself.
00:53:46.52\00:53:52.60
Or at church dressed up heels
and coming on to the pastor,
00:53:52.63\00:53:56.66
I call baby, how are you?
00:53:56.69\00:53:59.04
You know, because
she one way or other,
00:53:59.07\00:54:01.05
she's either out of control
in one way with the depression,
00:54:01.08\00:54:03.94
or mannequin and inappropriate
in the other direction.
00:54:03.97\00:54:07.54
But they fall in love
and now they both walk in.
00:54:07.57\00:54:10.24
And everybody is
trying to deal with that.
00:54:10.27\00:54:13.12
And then they have child.
00:54:13.15\00:54:15.97
Child is beautiful and normal
00:54:16.00\00:54:19.60
born in the building,
all of that kind of stuff.
00:54:19.63\00:54:22.82
But the child sees how everybody
relates to mom and dad, right.
00:54:22.85\00:54:27.57
So there is all that
shame that she grows up
00:54:27.60\00:54:29.88
with and it was
really intense for her.
00:54:29.91\00:54:31.82
And he tries to
help her see a lot
00:54:31.85\00:54:33.72
of that as she was growing
up, but it was just taught
00:54:33.75\00:54:36.41
because he couldn't be
anything other than what he was.
00:54:36.44\00:54:41.18
His own struggles
and the bipolar stuff,
00:54:41.21\00:54:43.68
and all of that kind of stuff.
00:54:43.71\00:54:45.12
But he tried to
be everything else,
00:54:45.15\00:54:47.19
and he couldn't do it
because he's just had fried
00:54:47.22\00:54:50.18
his brain and stuff and
he said it was just at times
00:54:50.21\00:54:55.66
really tough watching her.
00:54:55.69\00:54:57.19
She decided when she
was I don't know how old
00:54:57.22\00:54:59.18
that she was going to
raise the money and ended up
00:54:59.21\00:55:02.31
going to just
say Christian school,
00:55:02.34\00:55:04.84
and so she worked when
she was in like ninth grade.
00:55:04.87\00:55:10.12
She got enough money to
go to a boarding school.
00:55:10.15\00:55:12.58
And she gets there
and she didn't have
00:55:12.61\00:55:15.13
the social skills, or the dress,
or any of the kind of stuff,
00:55:15.16\00:55:18.34
because she's been
raised in all this dysfunction
00:55:18.37\00:55:20.18
to fit in with anybody.
00:55:20.21\00:55:21.58
And raise your hand if you felt
at all in any of your schools
00:55:21.61\00:55:24.69
that there were little quirks.
00:55:24.72\00:55:26.98
She couldn't fit into
them and so she few days
00:55:27.01\00:55:31.90
before I had my meeting,
00:55:31.93\00:55:33.34
she tried to
kill herself, right.
00:55:33.37\00:55:35.86
So he was going to
kill himself, hopefully
00:55:35.89\00:55:38.86
he said what that would do
was somebody would then put her
00:55:38.89\00:55:41.75
and may be foster home and
she could have an normal family.
00:55:41.78\00:55:45.38
And so he just starts crying
and he said do you know what.
00:55:45.41\00:55:48.67
She is amazing and
she sings like an angel.
00:55:48.70\00:55:51.86
She wants to sing for God
and all that kind of stuff.
00:55:51.89\00:55:55.21
And do you
remember what my problem
00:55:55.24\00:55:56.64
was when I first
started those meetings?
00:55:56.67\00:55:59.80
Music. Yeah, and so I said
tomorrow would she sing for us.
00:55:59.83\00:56:05.38
And he said
because she is just out
00:56:05.41\00:56:06.98
of the hospital
all that kind of stuff.
00:56:07.01\00:56:08.38
Would she sing for us?
00:56:08.41\00:56:09.78
And he said no, absolutely not.
00:56:09.81\00:56:12.80
And I said, I want
to give her a book,
00:56:12.83\00:56:15.25
I gave that biker's book away.
00:56:15.28\00:56:17.42
But I want to give her a book,
00:56:17.45\00:56:18.86
and I want to just put
in it my name and something
00:56:18.89\00:56:22.66
and just ask her
that I personally
00:56:22.69\00:56:24.64
would be honored if she
came and just sang for us,
00:56:24.67\00:56:27.46
and he said she won't.
00:56:27.49\00:56:29.00
And I said you know just see.
00:56:29.03\00:56:31.05
You know just ask
her and so he lives
00:56:31.08\00:56:33.97
and I am just thinking and don't
think that I ignored the kids.
00:56:34.00\00:56:38.55
We talked about
divorced families.
00:56:38.58\00:56:40.65
We talked about eating
disorders, sexual stuff.
00:56:40.68\00:56:43.49
One of the kids had a abortion,
00:56:43.52\00:56:46.95
there were some molest issues.
00:56:46.98\00:56:48.35
And then in the mix of
that, there was some kids
00:56:48.38\00:56:50.78
that they were
loved in normal families.
00:56:50.81\00:56:52.72
You know, but a lot
of the kids were dealing
00:56:52.75\00:56:54.38
with some stuff
until we did all that.
00:56:54.41\00:56:56.08
But the next day
we're starting our meeting
00:56:56.11\00:56:58.14
and this guy walks in and
he's cleaned up, you know,
00:56:58.17\00:57:01.29
and he walks in
with his daughter
00:57:01.32\00:57:02.69
and she is
beautiful and he just looked.
00:57:02.72\00:57:05.55
I mean he just
looked, you know, hopeful.
00:57:05.58\00:57:08.09
You know, and all of
a sudden he walks in,
00:57:08.12\00:57:10.05
he walks in with her.
00:57:10.08\00:57:11.61
She just tells me, you know,
00:57:11.64\00:57:13.01
what I don't
want to say anything.
00:57:13.04\00:57:17.08
I don't want to
ask me about my story.
00:57:17.11\00:57:22.95
I don't want to do
any of that kind of stuff.
00:57:22.98\00:57:24.62
What I wanted to do is I want
to just sing the song and leave.
00:57:24.65\00:57:29.97
And I said okay.
00:57:30.00\00:57:31.37
And so she got up
and she sang a song
00:57:31.40\00:57:34.76
called "In heaven's eyes."
00:57:34.79\00:57:36.88
Anybody know the song.
00:57:36.91\00:57:38.55
In heaven's eyes,
there are no losers.
00:57:38.58\00:57:40.79
There's no hopeless cause.
00:57:40.82\00:57:42.25
Their's only people
like you, people like me,
00:57:42.28\00:57:45.61
looking, you
know, I am paraphrasing
00:57:45.64\00:57:48.07
for recovery to be loved,
to fit in today, you know,
00:57:48.10\00:57:51.39
looking to find out is
there a place I belong.
00:57:51.42\00:57:53.49
Is there a God
that can change this?
00:57:53.52\00:57:55.49
Can I do this healing stuff?
00:57:55.52\00:57:57.34
And she is singing the
song and I wanted to weep,
00:57:57.37\00:57:59.69
and weep and weep.
00:57:59.72\00:58:01.09
And what I learnt
at that point is like
00:58:01.12\00:58:02.49
we are looking at
on this meeting today
00:58:02.52\00:58:04.96
as we truly are
ambassadors for Christ.
00:58:04.99\00:58:07.21
We truly are
taken a message out,
00:58:07.24\00:58:09.23
and the message
has to be real enough
00:58:09.26\00:58:10.94
that somebody can
grab hold of that.
00:58:10.97\00:58:12.69