The title of today's message is, Becoming a Man. 00:01:00.59\00:01:05.80 Great responsibility, great reflection 00:01:05.81\00:01:10.35 and when I titled this message 00:01:10.36\00:01:13.34 I had to think to myself, well I know 00:01:13.35\00:01:15.34 I'm talking about great responsibility. 00:01:15.35\00:01:18.10 So then it would make sense that, 00:01:18.11\00:01:20.01 that if the responsibility is great, 00:01:20.02\00:01:22.57 that the reflection would be at least great. 00:01:22.58\00:01:26.34 You know, we'd at least have to place some emphasis 00:01:26.35\00:01:28.92 on the fact that we need to reflect 00:01:28.93\00:01:30.98 and really think about the great responsibility 00:01:30.99\00:01:36.16 it is to be a man. 00:01:36.17\00:01:38.75 And so becoming a man describes the process. 00:01:38.76\00:01:41.07 It's a process of becoming, 00:01:41.08\00:01:43.52 of coming into an experience that 00:01:43.53\00:01:46.77 we have not previously had. 00:01:46.78\00:01:49.59 You know I'm 25 years old 00:01:49.60\00:01:51.58 and right now I'm seriously dating a girl 00:01:51.59\00:01:55.86 and I'm in the middle of this battle of just trying 00:01:55.87\00:02:00.56 to understand what the Lord's expectation 00:02:00.57\00:02:02.63 is on my life as a future husband. 00:02:02.64\00:02:07.24 And so today, we're gonna be talking 00:02:07.25\00:02:08.60 about that responsibility 00:02:08.61\00:02:10.16 and we're gonna to be reflecting on three areas. 00:02:10.17\00:02:13.98 Three questions that each of us 00:02:13.99\00:02:16.64 as young men need to ask. 00:02:16.65\00:02:19.36 Each of us as single people contemplating marriage 00:02:19.37\00:02:23.04 need to ask and we're gonna reflect on these. 00:02:23.05\00:02:25.42 So today's message is not going to about 00:02:25.43\00:02:27.96 how to chose a wife it's going to be more about 00:02:27.97\00:02:31.30 how to accept the responsibility 00:02:31.31\00:02:33.06 of being a husband. 00:02:33.07\00:02:35.85 And my firm conviction is that 00:02:35.86\00:02:40.32 in order to become the man that 00:02:40.33\00:02:41.78 God wants us to be, 00:02:41.79\00:02:43.18 we're gonna have to accept among others. 00:02:43.19\00:02:46.56 But definitely we're gonna have to accept 00:02:46.57\00:02:48.47 these three areas of responsibility. 00:02:48.48\00:02:52.62 And I believe that only real men can become real husbands. 00:02:52.63\00:02:57.39 You know can be any old husbands 00:02:57.40\00:02:59.14 and there's lots of them in the world today. 00:02:59.15\00:03:01.73 That you know are contributing 00:03:01.74\00:03:04.28 to a dysfunctional marriage and a dysfunctional family. 00:03:04.29\00:03:08.03 But that's not the type of man we want to be. 00:03:08.04\00:03:09.68 Amen. 00:03:09.69\00:03:11.33 We want to be the type of men that 00:03:11.34\00:03:13.78 God will use to just turn our family 00:03:13.79\00:03:17.99 into a light on a hill, as the scriptures say, amen. 00:03:18.00\00:03:21.63 We want the people to see the love of Jesus 00:03:21.64\00:03:24.27 radiating out of our families. 00:03:24.28\00:03:26.19 And so if that's going to be happen 00:03:26.20\00:03:28.05 we're gonna have to be real men of God. 00:03:28.06\00:03:30.49 And we're gonna have to accept that responsibility 00:03:30.50\00:03:33.96 that God is calling us into. 00:03:33.97\00:03:37.00 Let's turn in our Bibles 00:03:37.01\00:03:38.08 to Ephesians Chapter 5 and verse 1. 00:03:38.09\00:03:43.98 Ephesians Chapter 5, it's in the New Testament. 00:03:43.99\00:03:47.13 Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, 00:03:47.14\00:03:48.75 Romans, First Corinthians, 00:03:48.76\00:03:51.36 Second Corinthians, Colossians, Ephesians. 00:03:51.37\00:03:55.55 So it's right there near 00:03:55.56\00:03:56.77 the beginning of the New Testament. 00:03:56.78\00:03:58.42 Ephesians Chapter 5 and verse 1, 00:04:06.15\00:04:08.52 The Bible says "Be imitators of God." 00:04:08.53\00:04:13.12 That's very interesting. "Be imitators of God." 00:04:13.13\00:04:16.96 Let's continue to read, 00:04:16.97\00:04:17.98 "Therefore, as dearly loved children 00:04:17.99\00:04:19.43 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us 00:04:19.44\00:04:24.92 and gave himself up for us 00:04:24.93\00:04:28.20 as a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God." 00:04:28.21\00:04:35.20 The imitators of God, as I read that part 00:04:35.21\00:04:37.12 I had to ask myself the question, 00:04:37.13\00:04:38.35 in what way should I imitate God. 00:04:38.36\00:04:41.92 Should I imitate God in His power? 00:04:41.93\00:04:44.34 In His knowledge? 00:04:44.35\00:04:46.08 Should I imitate God in His creative ability? 00:04:46.09\00:04:49.77 Just how is it that I should imitate God. 00:04:49.78\00:04:53.36 Who here says that I should imitate God in His power. 00:04:53.37\00:04:57.36 What about imitating God in His full knowledge. 00:04:57.37\00:05:02.21 What about in His creative ability? 00:05:02.22\00:05:04.46 Am I suppose to be like God 00:05:04.47\00:05:05.63 and be able to create universes. 00:05:05.64\00:05:07.51 Of course not, these are not the areas, 00:05:07.52\00:05:09.81 so the area that I must imitate God would have 00:05:09.82\00:05:14.89 to be in some action related to a relationship with others. 00:05:14.90\00:05:21.56 In other words, I think 00:05:21.57\00:05:23.36 we need to imitate God in character. 00:05:23.37\00:05:27.28 Does that make sense? 00:05:27.29\00:05:29.57 We need to imitate God in His character of love 00:05:29.58\00:05:32.75 and kindness and His character of patience. 00:05:32.76\00:05:36.46 It's in these areas where we need to imitate God. 00:05:36.47\00:05:40.04 But specifically this verse goes on to say, 00:05:40.05\00:05:42.37 "And live a life of love." 00:05:42.38\00:05:43.42 So in this passage more specifically 00:05:43.43\00:05:47.90 than any general imitation of the character of God, 00:05:47.91\00:05:51.07 we'd have to recognize that 00:05:51.08\00:05:53.37 we need to be imitating God 00:05:53.38\00:05:55.67 in the way that he is loved. 00:05:55.68\00:05:59.20 In the way that He is loved. 00:05:59.21\00:06:01.73 So according to this passage 00:06:01.74\00:06:03.18 in what way was God love. 00:06:03.19\00:06:08.55 In what way was God love according to this passage. 00:06:08.56\00:06:13.04 He gave up His life, amen. 00:06:13.05\00:06:16.02 He gave up His life for us, amen. 00:06:16.03\00:06:20.01 He willingly gave up His life 00:06:20.02\00:06:24.06 so that we could be saved. 00:06:24.07\00:06:27.20 Without Him giving up His life, 00:06:27.21\00:06:29.48 and I'm going to try to come to back 00:06:29.49\00:06:30.50 to this later notice this carefully, 00:06:30.51\00:06:32.23 without Him giving up His life, 00:06:32.24\00:06:35.26 we could not be saved. 00:06:35.27\00:06:38.47 It was essential that 00:06:38.48\00:06:39.64 He make the decision to give up His life, 00:06:39.65\00:06:44.08 so that we could be saved, amen. 00:06:44.09\00:06:47.56 Is there any other way? 00:06:47.57\00:06:50.41 There's no other way. 00:06:50.42\00:06:52.99 Christ had to give up His life 00:06:53.00\00:06:54.97 so that we could be saved. 00:06:54.98\00:06:56.74 And it's in this manner that we are to imitate Him. 00:06:56.75\00:07:00.95 Well, in one context, 00:07:00.96\00:07:02.36 verse 22 tells us in one context we're to imitate this. 00:07:02.37\00:07:07.06 Verse 22 Chapter 5 of Ephesians, "Wives submit." 00:07:07.07\00:07:13.86 Actually I want to skip down to verse 25. 00:07:13.87\00:07:16.37 Ephesians 5, verse 25, 00:07:16.38\00:07:19.54 "Husbands, love your wives, 00:07:19.55\00:07:21.19 just as Christ loved the church 00:07:21.20\00:07:24.12 and gave himself up for her." Okay. 00:07:24.13\00:07:27.54 There we see it. 00:07:27.55\00:07:30.04 Ephesians Chapter 5 is applying this love that 00:07:30.05\00:07:36.88 we are to imitate God. 00:07:36.89\00:07:39.77 He's applying this to the marriage relationship. 00:07:39.78\00:07:44.33 So first we saw, we're suppose to be 00:07:44.34\00:07:45.71 imitators of God, in what way? 00:07:45.72\00:07:47.07 Well in character, yes, 00:07:47.08\00:07:48.22 but specifically the aspect in reference to love. 00:07:48.23\00:07:51.68 But now specifically, more specifically 00:07:51.69\00:07:54.06 I should say, we're to love our wives. 00:07:54.07\00:07:57.58 Now most of us or at least a portion of us 00:07:57.59\00:08:00.36 in this room don't have wives. 00:08:00.37\00:08:03.40 So, what we need to be thinking as young men 00:08:03.41\00:08:06.85 who are not yet married and that's, 00:08:06.86\00:08:08.42 I'm in that boat as well. 00:08:08.43\00:08:11.42 Our future wives, we need to love 00:08:11.43\00:08:14.67 with that type of love that Christ had. 00:08:14.68\00:08:18.33 And that type of love was 00:08:18.34\00:08:19.41 where He gave up His life 00:08:19.42\00:08:22.60 so that we could be saved. 00:08:22.61\00:08:25.72 So to me then it stands to reason that 00:08:25.73\00:08:28.22 we need to be willing to give up our lives 00:08:28.23\00:08:30.14 as future husbands 00:08:30.15\00:08:31.77 and for those who are married, 00:08:31.78\00:08:33.67 you need to be willing to give up your lives 00:08:33.68\00:08:36.54 so that your wife can be saved. 00:08:36.55\00:08:40.00 Does that make sense. 00:08:40.01\00:08:42.69 Let's unpack it a little bit more. 00:08:42.70\00:08:44.19 Think about this. 00:08:44.20\00:08:46.79 When Christ died on the Christ, 00:08:46.80\00:08:53.49 He died not so that 00:08:53.50\00:08:57.56 He would just take our place in a sense. 00:08:57.57\00:09:00.77 Like -- okay, let me explain -- 00:09:00.78\00:09:02.41 instead of going there I'm going 00:09:02.42\00:09:04.93 to explain to you this way. 00:09:04.94\00:09:05.91 That passage there that 00:09:05.92\00:09:06.89 we just read from Ephesians Chapter 5 says, 00:09:06.90\00:09:07.87 "That Christ give up His life." 00:09:07.88\00:09:09.15 Okay, so we're called to give up our life. 00:09:09.16\00:09:11.19 So if you'd use the illustration of 00:09:11.20\00:09:12.82 the President of the United States, 00:09:12.83\00:09:14.50 and to say that he's got a set of bodyguards 00:09:14.51\00:09:17.82 who are willing to give up 00:09:17.83\00:09:18.92 their lives for the President. 00:09:18.93\00:09:22.98 That is one way in which 00:09:22.99\00:09:23.96 we can give up our lives, physically speaking, 00:09:23.97\00:09:25.69 that's the language I was looking for. 00:09:25.70\00:09:27.87 We can think to ourselves that, 00:09:27.88\00:09:30.86 oh yeah, the Bible is telling us that 00:09:30.87\00:09:32.08 we need to physically give up our lives 00:09:32.09\00:09:33.85 for our wives or our future wife. 00:09:33.86\00:09:38.18 We could think that that's what the Bible is saying. 00:09:38.19\00:09:40.25 But would that make any sense that 00:09:40.26\00:09:41.61 Christ gave up His life physically? 00:09:41.62\00:09:44.73 No, no, no, no, no, Christ was willing 00:09:44.74\00:09:46.23 to give up His life spiritually. 00:09:46.24\00:09:49.69 He was willing to give up His eternal reward, 00:09:49.70\00:09:52.63 His eternal life in order to that we would be saved. 00:09:52.64\00:09:58.02 The Bible makes it clear to us, 00:09:58.03\00:09:59.13 and Spirit of Prophecy makes it even more clear to us, 00:09:59.14\00:10:02.02 that Christ died the second death. 00:10:02.03\00:10:04.98 And that He did not think 00:10:04.99\00:10:05.98 He was going to come back from that. 00:10:05.99\00:10:08.97 When it says in Ephesians Chapter 5, 00:10:08.98\00:10:12.06 that Christ gave up His life. 00:10:12.07\00:10:15.09 It's referring to the fact that 00:10:15.10\00:10:16.85 He was willing to sacrifice His eternal life, 00:10:16.86\00:10:20.41 so that we could be saved 00:10:20.42\00:10:21.72 and if this is the manner in which we're to love our wives 00:10:21.73\00:10:24.56 and for those of us who are not married, 00:10:24.57\00:10:26.21 to love our future wife, 00:10:26.22\00:10:28.93 then we've to recognize the principle here. 00:10:28.94\00:10:33.17 We have to recognize the principle here, 00:10:33.18\00:10:36.36 that the responsibility of the Christian husband 00:10:36.37\00:10:40.35 to his wife to be willing to give up His life spiritually. 00:10:40.36\00:10:47.98 Do whatever it takes to ensure that his wife is saved. 00:10:47.99\00:10:52.29 And we're gonna unpack this a little bit more. 00:10:52.30\00:10:56.31 But question number one that we dealt with now is, 00:10:56.32\00:10:59.56 would you give up your life. 00:10:59.57\00:11:01.39 And so as your contemplating, 00:11:01.40\00:11:04.23 as you're contemplating marriage 00:11:04.24\00:11:06.63 and for those of you who are already married, 00:11:06.64\00:11:10.71 the question needs to be each and every day. 00:11:10.72\00:11:12.57 Would I give up my life? 00:11:12.58\00:11:15.91 Would I really be really willing? 00:11:15.92\00:11:18.26 Or am I so selfish there that 00:11:18.27\00:11:19.82 for some reason I'm not gonna do 00:11:19.83\00:11:21.30 whatever it takes to see that my wife is in heaven. 00:11:21.31\00:11:24.98 Question number 1 is would you give up your life 00:11:24.99\00:11:28.54 let I wanna read to you some spirit of prophecy quotations. 00:11:28.55\00:11:32.00 Ellen White says, in Adventist Home, page 117. 00:11:32.01\00:11:36.85 Let every husband and father study 00:11:36.86\00:11:41.03 and understand the words of Christ, 00:11:41.04\00:11:43.56 not in a one-sided manner, merely dwelling upon 00:11:43.57\00:11:46.17 the subjection of the wife to her husband, 00:11:46.18\00:11:48.61 but in the light of the cross of Calvary, 00:11:48.62\00:11:51.48 study as to his own position in the family circle." 00:11:51.49\00:11:56.33 And then she quotes to the passage that 00:11:56.34\00:11:57.77 we are just studying, "Husbands, love your wives, 00:11:57.78\00:12:01.13 even as Christ also loved the church, 00:12:01.14\00:12:03.78 and gave Himself for it, that He himself, 00:12:03.79\00:12:07.64 that He might sanctify and cleanse it 00:12:07.65\00:12:09.80 with the washing of water by the word. 00:12:09.81\00:12:13.62 Jesus gave Himself up to die on the cross in order that 00:12:13.63\00:12:18.54 He might cleanse us and keep us from all sin 00:12:18.55\00:12:22.04 and pollution by the influence of the Holy Spirit." 00:12:22.05\00:12:27.09 There we see it, Ellen White is saying that 00:12:27.10\00:12:29.24 same thing that we just we saw in scripture, 00:12:29.25\00:12:32.32 the same thing that we just logically reasoned through. 00:12:32.33\00:12:36.92 Is that we need to be willing like 00:12:36.93\00:12:41.03 Christ is willing to give up our lives. 00:12:41.04\00:12:45.84 He was willing to give up His life, His eternal life. 00:12:45.85\00:12:48.92 So that we could be saved 00:12:48.93\00:12:50.02 and we need to be willing to give up our eternal lives, 00:12:50.03\00:12:53.92 so our wives could be saved. 00:12:53.93\00:12:55.50 Now, you might be just thinking for a moment like, 00:12:55.51\00:12:57.52 okay, Roy, it's like, how is that even possible? 00:12:57.53\00:13:00.33 Like if I can't buy salvation for someone 00:13:00.34\00:13:03.73 or I can't just pass my faith on to somebody. 00:13:03.74\00:13:06.41 How is it even possible for me to give up my eternal life, 00:13:06.42\00:13:11.41 so that my wife or someone else to be saved? 00:13:11.42\00:13:15.94 And the answer is simple, the Bible writers okay, 00:13:15.95\00:13:20.29 and Paul is not the only one who uses this language. 00:13:20.30\00:13:22.96 For the Bible writers were trying to give 00:13:22.97\00:13:26.39 the most intense example or intense appeal to us. 00:13:26.40\00:13:34.48 To demonstrate that it's gonna take everything, 00:13:35.93\00:13:39.30 it's gonna take everything. 00:13:39.31\00:13:41.56 Moses said to God when He was talking with God 00:13:41.57\00:13:44.82 in Exodus 33, 32:32 that 00:13:44.83\00:13:49.15 "He wishes if the children of Israel did not repent that 00:13:49.16\00:13:52.03 His name would be blotted out of the Book of Life 00:13:52.04\00:13:54.78 so that they could be saved." 00:13:54.79\00:13:57.21 Well, it wasn't really possible for Moses to do that. 00:13:57.22\00:13:59.39 But that's how much he loved the children of Israel. 00:13:59.40\00:14:01.73 That's how much he longed for them 00:14:01.74\00:14:02.95 to be in the kingdom. 00:14:02.96\00:14:06.28 And as men preparing to accept 00:14:06.29\00:14:09.58 the responsibility of being a husband, 00:14:09.59\00:14:12.82 we need to have that same intensity, 00:14:12.83\00:14:17.61 we need to have that same love, 00:14:17.62\00:14:20.59 intensity of love for our future wife. 00:14:20.60\00:14:25.66 Paul said in, Romans 9, 3. He said, 00:14:25.67\00:14:28.06 "I wish that I could be accursed, 00:14:28.07\00:14:29.82 cutoff from Christ in order that 00:14:29.83\00:14:32.15 my brethren would be saved." 00:14:32.16\00:14:35.07 Now, a point that I must make of this, 00:14:35.08\00:14:38.12 at this point in the sermon is that 00:14:38.13\00:14:41.50 we cannot have that type of love by ourselves. 00:14:41.51\00:14:45.79 Like that type of love that Christ had, 00:14:45.80\00:14:47.44 like we're not going to get that by just deciding. 00:14:47.45\00:14:50.55 Okay, I'm just going to have that much love like, 00:14:50.56\00:14:53.39 there's gotta be a way for me to love my future, 00:14:53.40\00:14:57.77 you know, spouse that way. 00:14:57.78\00:15:00.43 You figure it out and you try, no, no, no, no, no. 00:15:00.44\00:15:03.09 There's no amount of work there you can do 00:15:03.10\00:15:04.57 the only thing is you can give your life 00:15:04.58\00:15:06.19 to the Lord every single day and ask Him 00:15:06.20\00:15:07.75 to give you that love for your wife. 00:15:07.76\00:15:12.56 And for your future wives. 00:15:12.57\00:15:17.10 And so that's important that has to come home, 00:15:17.11\00:15:19.28 we can't just muster up that type of courage. 00:15:19.29\00:15:21.55 We can't just muster up that kind of love 00:15:21.56\00:15:23.34 because as selfish human beings, 00:15:23.35\00:15:25.41 we don't have that kind of love it's just not in us. 00:15:25.42\00:15:30.32 But through the power of God, it can be. 00:15:30.33\00:15:34.61 Another quote from Adventist Home, 00:15:34.62\00:15:38.47 page 117 paragraph 2, Ellen White says, 00:15:38.48\00:15:43.09 "Husbands should study the pattern and seek to know 00:15:43.10\00:15:48.18 what is meant by the symbol presented in Ephesians, 00:15:48.19\00:15:52.06 the relation Christ sustains to the church. 00:15:52.07\00:15:55.77 The husband is to be as a Savior in his family." 00:15:55.78\00:16:00.80 There you see it in such like black white terms. 00:16:00.81\00:16:04.17 The husband is to be as a savior to His family. 00:16:04.18\00:16:08.45 So let me ask you this question. 00:16:08.46\00:16:11.00 If you should get to your eternity 00:16:11.01\00:16:14.39 and your wife is not there, 00:16:14.40\00:16:16.28 that means you were not a very good savior. 00:16:16.29\00:16:21.03 Ezekiel Chapter 33 makes it very clear. 00:16:21.04\00:16:24.06 That those who are the watchmen, 00:16:24.07\00:16:25.99 those who accept the responsibility of warning. 00:16:26.00\00:16:30.37 If they don't do their job of warning properly, 00:16:30.38\00:16:34.67 the blood is on their shoulders. 00:16:34.68\00:16:36.23 And I would submit the same thing, 00:16:36.24\00:16:39.30 that if we who accept the responsibility 00:16:39.31\00:16:44.53 of being husbands. 00:16:44.54\00:16:48.20 If we don't do everything to ensure. 00:16:48.21\00:16:50.45 Now we can't ultimately make the decision for a wife. 00:16:50.46\00:16:52.81 But we can't do everything to ensure 00:16:52.82\00:16:55.18 that our wives are saved, then we have not been, 00:16:55.19\00:17:02.49 we have not been successful 00:17:02.50\00:17:04.68 in taking that representative role 00:17:04.69\00:17:06.93 if you will in a family of being a savior. 00:17:06.94\00:17:08.87 We've not been successful in that. 00:17:08.88\00:17:11.00 And the blood will be on our shoulders. 00:17:11.01\00:17:13.45 I'll continue reading the quote 00:17:13.46\00:17:14.57 picking it up there in the middle, 00:17:14.58\00:17:16.29 "Will he stand in his noble, God-given manhood," 00:17:16.30\00:17:20.87 who here wants to stand in that noble man, 00:17:20.88\00:17:24.54 God given manhood, amen. 00:17:24.55\00:17:27.10 I want to do that. 00:17:27.11\00:17:28.20 It's not going to come naturally, 00:17:28.21\00:17:29.58 it's going to be something you've to pray 00:17:29.59\00:17:32.24 and you're gonna have to trust that 00:17:32.25\00:17:33.44 the Lord will help you to become. 00:17:33.45\00:17:37.30 "Ever seeking to uplift his wife and children. 00:17:37.31\00:17:40.36 He will breathe above him a pure, sweet atmosphere. 00:17:40.37\00:17:45.68 Will he not as assiduously cultivate the love of Jesus, 00:17:45.69\00:17:51.82 making it an abiding principle in his home, 00:17:51.83\00:17:55.56 as he will assert his claims to authority?" 00:17:55.57\00:17:58.07 And so she's just finishing that up by saying, 00:17:58.08\00:18:00.10 you know, men naturally want to assert, 00:18:00.11\00:18:02.52 I'm the man of the house. 00:18:02.53\00:18:04.26 Really want to assert their authority. 00:18:04.27\00:18:06.31 We wanna assert our authority, 00:18:06.32\00:18:07.64 but she's saying, listen, if you are as willing to love 00:18:07.65\00:18:13.39 as you are to assert your authority 00:18:13.40\00:18:15.63 and is willing to be invested in saving your wife. 00:18:15.64\00:18:20.28 Winning your wife for the kingdom as you are 00:18:20.29\00:18:23.86 to assert your authority that's what you need. 00:18:23.87\00:18:26.66 Because it's natural for men 00:18:26.67\00:18:27.81 to want to be, to want to be in charge, 00:18:27.82\00:18:31.06 to want to be the heads or want to be. 00:18:31.07\00:18:33.16 And so she's saying, balance it out. 00:18:33.17\00:18:35.13 Make sure both are there. 00:18:35.14\00:18:36.96 It's not wrong to take the spiritual leader role, 00:18:36.97\00:18:40.88 it's not wrong to be the head of the household. 00:18:40.89\00:18:43.95 But not to the exclusion of loving like Christ love. 00:18:43.96\00:18:46.89 Amen. 00:18:46.90\00:18:50.29 Let's go to Genesis chapter 29, 00:18:50.30\00:18:52.79 and we're gonna look at our second question for today. 00:18:52.80\00:18:57.82 Genesis Chapter 29, the question is, 00:18:57.83\00:19:02.91 would you work seven years? 00:19:02.92\00:19:05.75 First question is, would you give your life? 00:19:05.76\00:19:10.14 Now the second question is, 00:19:10.15\00:19:11.59 would you work for seven years? 00:19:11.60\00:19:13.60 And I would suggest that 00:19:13.61\00:19:14.62 if you can't answer yes to number one 00:19:14.63\00:19:17.17 And if you can't answer yes to number two, 00:19:17.18\00:19:20.74 then you need to wait a little be longer 00:19:20.75\00:19:23.15 and become more of the spiritual man that 00:19:23.16\00:19:25.16 the Lord wants you to be before you're ready 00:19:25.17\00:19:26.76 to accept the responsibility of being a husband. 00:19:26.77\00:19:31.69 Being a true Christian husband, 00:19:31.70\00:19:34.94 would you wor seven years. 00:19:34.95\00:19:36.09 Genesis chapter 29 and we're going to start in verse 4. 00:19:36.10\00:19:42.52 We here see the story of Jacob, who leaves home. 00:19:42.53\00:19:47.29 He's headed towards Horan. 00:19:47.30\00:19:49.71 Where he's gonna find his Laban, his relative, 00:19:49.72\00:19:55.94 and He comes to the well. 00:19:55.95\00:19:58.37 And He comes to the well 00:19:58.38\00:20:01.04 and he's there talking among the shepherds 00:20:01.05\00:20:02.92 and Jacob asks the shepherds in verse 4, 00:20:02.93\00:20:05.62 Genesis Chapter 29 verse 4, 00:20:05.63\00:20:07.58 "my brothers, where are you from? 00:20:07.59\00:20:10.15 We're from Horan, they replied, 00:20:10.16\00:20:12.83 he said to them, do you know Laban, Nahor's grandson. 00:20:12.84\00:20:17.42 Yes, we know him they answered. 00:20:17.43\00:20:18.99 Then Jacob asked them, is he well? 00:20:19.00\00:20:21.94 Yes, he is, they said. 00:20:21.95\00:20:23.62 And here comes his daughter Rachel with the sheep." 00:20:23.63\00:20:28.14 Verse 9 while He was still talking with them, 00:20:28.15\00:20:31.38 Rachel came with her father's sheep 00:20:31.39\00:20:34.73 for she was a shepherdess. 00:20:34.74\00:20:37.73 Verse 10, when Jacob saw Rachel, daughter of Laban, 00:20:37.74\00:20:41.66 his mother's brother and Laban sheep 00:20:41.67\00:20:44.67 He went over and rolled the stone away 00:20:44.68\00:20:46.67 from the mouth of the well 00:20:46.68\00:20:48.87 and watered his uncle's sheep. 00:20:48.88\00:20:51.89 Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud. 00:20:51.90\00:20:55.62 He had told Rachel that 00:20:55.63\00:20:57.73 He was a relative of her -- of her father 00:20:57.74\00:21:00.56 and a son of Rebecca. 00:21:00.57\00:21:02.10 And so she ran and told her father, 00:21:02.11\00:21:03.65 skipping down to verse 15, 00:21:03.66\00:21:05.02 Laban said to him, 00:21:05.03\00:21:07.01 just because you're a relative of mine, 00:21:07.02\00:21:08.01 should you work for me for nothing? 00:21:08.67\00:21:11.62 Tell me what your wages should be? 00:21:11.63\00:21:14.48 Now Laban had 2 daughters. 00:21:14.49\00:21:16.67 The name of the older is Leah 00:21:16.68\00:21:18.40 and the name of the younger was Rachel. 00:21:18.41\00:21:20.95 Leah had weak eyes. 00:21:20.96\00:21:23.31 But Rachel was lovely in form and beautiful. 00:21:23.32\00:21:26.84 Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, 00:21:26.85\00:21:30.20 I'll work for you seven years in return 00:21:30.21\00:21:33.53 for your younger daughter Rachel. 00:21:33.54\00:21:35.32 Verse 19 Laban said, it is better that 00:21:35.33\00:21:37.90 I give her to you than to some other man, 00:21:37.91\00:21:41.01 stay here with me. 00:21:41.02\00:21:42.04 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel. 00:21:42.05\00:21:46.12 But they seemed like only a few days to him. 00:21:46.13\00:21:49.50 He loved, his love for, because of his love for her. 00:21:49.51\00:21:53.41 Powerful passages, lots of we can learn 00:21:53.42\00:21:55.26 from what is contained in this story. 00:21:55.27\00:22:00.77 But what we have to recognize is that Laban, 00:22:00.78\00:22:04.47 I mean Jacob didn't just work for seven years for fun. 00:22:04.48\00:22:10.28 He worked for 7 years for a specific purpose. 00:22:10.29\00:22:13.67 And if we understand the ancient tradition 00:22:13.68\00:22:18.51 of these people, we'll recognize that 00:22:18.52\00:22:20.88 it was tradition that the bridegroom, the person, 00:22:20.89\00:22:26.43 the husband who wanted the wife of a man, 00:22:26.44\00:22:32.30 if he wanted, or I guess I need to say that 00:22:32.31\00:22:34.89 probably, the man who wants someone's daughter. 00:22:34.90\00:22:41.04 A father's daughter, that person 00:22:41.05\00:22:43.91 would have to pay a dowry. 00:22:43.92\00:22:46.22 That dowry usually consisted of some sort of money, 00:22:46.23\00:22:49.68 whatever you know the way that 00:22:49.69\00:22:51.83 they traded but sort of money 00:22:51.84\00:22:53.49 and that dowry was there to represent 00:22:53.50\00:22:55.45 and to signify the fact that this man 00:22:55.46\00:22:58.20 could actually provide for his daughter. 00:22:58.21\00:23:03.11 The husband, I mean the father was concerned, 00:23:03.12\00:23:05.54 like I'm not just gonna give you know 00:23:05.55\00:23:07.94 my daughter to any man. 00:23:07.95\00:23:09.40 Like what if this guy is a bum. 00:23:09.41\00:23:10.57 You know, I need to know. 00:23:10.58\00:23:11.58 I need to ensure someway that 00:23:11.59\00:23:13.89 he is able to provide for the security of my daughter. 00:23:13.90\00:23:19.86 He had to know that. 00:23:19.87\00:23:21.52 But in this case, Jacob had nothing to give. 00:23:21.53\00:23:25.23 He was running away from home in essence. 00:23:25.24\00:23:28.30 And so there was a -- the provision made 00:23:28.31\00:23:31.69 in that culture that for those who could not pay, 00:23:31.70\00:23:34.80 those who did not have a dowry to give, 00:23:34.81\00:23:36.76 they could work the years off, 00:23:36.77\00:23:40.67 until they had earned the dowry. 00:23:40.68\00:23:43.64 So they could work until they prove themselves. 00:23:43.65\00:23:47.09 Listen to what Ellen G White says. 00:23:47.10\00:23:50.83 In Patriots and Prophets Ellen White says, 00:23:50.84\00:23:52.90 "Fathers did not think it safe to trust 00:23:52.91\00:23:56.00 the happiness of their daughters to men 00:23:56.01\00:23:58.73 who had not made provision for the support of a family." 00:23:58.74\00:24:04.43 That makes sense. 00:24:04.44\00:24:06.30 And I would suggest to any of us here, 00:24:06.31\00:24:10.63 that we need\ to be able to ensure 00:24:10.64\00:24:12.77 and to accept the responsibility 00:24:12.78\00:24:14.35 of providing for a wife and a future family. 00:24:14.36\00:24:17.67 We can't just decide, oh you know, 00:24:17.68\00:24:19.21 passion moved and I just wanted to get married 00:24:19.22\00:24:20.99 and you're, it's so much better 00:24:21.00\00:24:22.20 to have a wife than to not have a wife. 00:24:22.21\00:24:26.22 We need to be willing 00:24:26.23\00:24:28.54 to accept the responsibility of being a husband. 00:24:28.55\00:24:31.27 And that means providing for the security of your wife. 00:24:31.28\00:24:37.00 But it doesn't just mean financial security 00:24:37.01\00:24:39.56 because there are a lot of men out there 00:24:39.57\00:24:41.65 who are very able to provide 00:24:41.66\00:24:44.20 for the financial needs of their wives. 00:24:44.21\00:24:48.12 There are lots of men who are able to do that. 00:24:48.13\00:24:50.78 And likely many of us 00:24:50.79\00:24:51.81 in this room will be able to that. 00:24:51.82\00:24:54.60 To provide financially and to give financial security. 00:24:54.61\00:25:00.56 But Ellen White gives us an insight. 00:25:00.57\00:25:02.49 That it is not readily available 00:25:02.50\00:25:04.02 to see in the Bible text 00:25:04.03\00:25:05.82 and that insight is that he not only needed 00:25:05.83\00:25:07.87 to provide for her financial security. 00:25:07.88\00:25:10.65 But he needed to demonstrate that 00:25:10.66\00:25:11.93 he could provide for her holistic security, 00:25:11.94\00:25:15.05 meaning emotional security and just her goals, 00:25:15.06\00:25:19.36 her life dreams like helping her be who she was. 00:25:19.37\00:25:24.11 Helping her do what she enjoys. 00:25:24.12\00:25:26.56 He needed to be able to support her 00:25:26.57\00:25:28.35 in all ways of life. 00:25:28.36\00:25:30.50 Not just her always being submissive to him 00:25:30.51\00:25:33.18 and him not doing anything for her. 00:25:33.19\00:25:34.79 He needed to help her. 00:25:34.80\00:25:36.30 Be the helpmate and so that's what happened. 00:25:36.31\00:25:39.37 Let me read the quote to you. 00:25:39.38\00:25:41.70 This is still in Patriots and Prophets, 00:25:41.71\00:25:43.93 page 189, paragraph 1, 00:25:43.94\00:25:47.85 "When the suitor was required 00:25:47.86\00:25:49.88 to render service to secure his bride, 00:25:49.89\00:25:52.84 a hasty marriage was prevented." 00:25:52.85\00:25:56.30 That's a very interesting point she says that, 00:25:56.31\00:25:58.39 in order to prevent a hasty marriage 00:25:58.40\00:26:00.26 this dowry was required 00:26:00.27\00:26:01.73 and for those who didn't have the dowry, 00:26:01.74\00:26:04.23 they would have to provide service. 00:26:04.24\00:26:06.95 And it would be interesting to know that 00:26:06.96\00:26:08.32 in order to have had gotten dowry in past 00:26:08.33\00:26:11.10 they would had to work for that dowry. 00:26:11.11\00:26:13.44 So the dowry was as symbolic that 00:26:13.45\00:26:15.34 that this man was actually able to serve. 00:26:15.35\00:26:17.61 Was actually able to work, was actually able to provide 00:26:17.62\00:26:20.06 and here it says this prevented a hasty marriage. 00:26:20.07\00:26:22.81 There are so many young people today, 00:26:22.82\00:26:24.57 this happens frequently in academies 00:26:24.58\00:26:27.79 and still happens in college. 00:26:27.80\00:26:29.77 And definitely it happens in the world regardless of well, 00:26:29.78\00:26:33.13 I wouldn't say with regardless 00:26:33.14\00:26:34.19 but for those outside of Christianity 00:26:34.20\00:26:36.72 and even sometimes in Christianity. 00:26:36.73\00:26:38.94 Where people just want to, 00:26:38.95\00:26:40.03 they just want a life companion, 00:26:40.04\00:26:41.46 they just want someone. 00:26:41.47\00:26:43.82 So they can fulfill their pleasures, 00:26:43.83\00:26:45.64 their desires whatever their lusts happen to be. 00:26:45.65\00:26:50.23 And Ellen White makes it clear 00:26:50.24\00:26:51.37 that time of seven years prevented 00:26:51.38\00:26:55.00 any hasty decisions to be made. 00:26:55.01\00:26:57.73 And so we as young men have to ask ourselves the question. 00:26:57.74\00:27:01.11 Have we done everything to prepare 00:27:01.12\00:27:03.20 to accept the responsibility of being a husband? 00:27:03.21\00:27:06.75 Have we taken the time to demonstrate that 00:27:06.76\00:27:09.93 we'll be able to provide holistically, financially, 00:27:09.94\00:27:16.00 emotionally and in whatever other way, 00:27:16.01\00:27:19.38 standing by the side of your future wife, 00:27:19.39\00:27:24.66 helping her as she helps you. 00:27:24.67\00:27:27.92 Let me continue reading the quotation, 00:27:27.93\00:27:30.56 "And there was opportunity to test the depth 00:27:30.57\00:27:33.07 of his affections, as well as his ability 00:27:33.08\00:27:34.95 to provide for a family. 00:27:34.96\00:27:36.67 In our time many evils result 00:27:36.68\00:27:38.54 from pursuing an opposite course. 00:27:38.55\00:27:40.62 It is often the case that persons before marriage 00:27:40.63\00:27:43.56 have little opportunity to become acquainted 00:27:43.57\00:27:45.47 with each other's habits and disposition, 00:27:45.48\00:27:48.26 and, so far as everyday life is concerned. 00:27:48.27\00:27:53.02 They are virtually strangers 00:27:53.03\00:27:54.95 when they unite their interests at the altar. 00:27:54.96\00:27:58.32 Many find, too late, 00:27:58.33\00:28:00.08 that they are not adapted to each other, 00:28:00.09\00:28:03.60 and lifelong wretchedness is the result of their union. 00:28:03.61\00:28:08.27 Often the wife and children suffer 00:28:08.28\00:28:10.12 from the indolence and inefficiency 00:28:10.13\00:28:12.81 or the vicious habits of the husband and the father. 00:28:12.82\00:28:16.29 If the character of the suitor 00:28:16.30\00:28:17.63 had been tested before marriage, 00:28:17.64\00:28:20.09 according to the ancient custom, 00:28:20.10\00:28:22.06 great unhappiness might have been prevented." 00:28:22.07\00:28:25.69 And this is the point where I just want to say 00:28:25.70\00:28:28.52 and bring out what Ellen White said there. 00:28:28.53\00:28:30.27 And that is in fact that often times 00:28:30.28\00:28:34.18 people will marry without really being acquainted 00:28:34.19\00:28:36.96 with the disposition, with the personality. 00:28:36.97\00:28:40.79 I can tell you after having dated for nine months now. 00:28:40.80\00:28:45.56 And sometimes it probably takes longer than nine months 00:28:45.57\00:28:49.36 but in my nine months of having dated 00:28:49.37\00:28:52.80 the girl that I'm with now. 00:28:52.81\00:28:54.87 As we've been contemplating marriage. 00:28:54.88\00:28:56.35 I've been able to see a lot of her character. 00:28:56.36\00:28:58.87 I've been able to see a lot of her personality. 00:28:58.88\00:29:00.78 I've been able to ask myself the question, 00:29:00.79\00:29:02.80 can I live with these different things that 00:29:02.81\00:29:05.96 she does or doesn't do. 00:29:05.97\00:29:07.37 You know, it's so frequent we get raised 00:29:07.38\00:29:11.96 a certain way and so we do things a certain way. 00:29:11.97\00:29:14.98 But then there's this girl, she gets raised a certain way 00:29:14.99\00:29:16.82 and does things a certain way 00:29:16.83\00:29:18.42 and then you come together. 00:29:18.43\00:29:19.57 And you don't do them the same way, 00:29:19.58\00:29:21.84 and it causes friction 00:29:21.85\00:29:22.89 and it's usually for silly little things. 00:29:22.90\00:29:26.99 But then there's personality conflicts, 00:29:27.00\00:29:28.42 there's so many things that 00:29:28.43\00:29:31.60 we just have to account for 00:29:31.61\00:29:33.57 and time will help that. 00:29:33.58\00:29:36.63 It's important not to rush your courting, dating stage. 00:29:36.64\00:29:40.91 It's important to give enough time 00:29:40.92\00:29:43.72 so you can really know who's there, 00:29:43.73\00:29:47.77 who you're possibly planning 00:29:47.78\00:29:49.73 to link and unite your future with. 00:29:49.74\00:29:54.40 And I think it's such a powerful point that 00:29:54.41\00:29:57.10 needs to be made and that needs to be understood 00:29:57.11\00:29:59.79 is what are we willing to do. 00:29:59.80\00:30:01.59 And we're going to come back to this 00:30:01.60\00:30:02.65 and give some application. 00:30:02.66\00:30:04.28 What are we willing to do in order to ensure that 00:30:04.29\00:30:09.96 we are prepared to be married to someone. 00:30:09.97\00:30:15.44 Provide for them financially, provide for them emotionally. 00:30:15.45\00:30:19.61 Adjust ourselves to dispositions, what can we do. 00:30:19.62\00:30:22.99 And we're gonna answer that question in a little bit. 00:30:23.00\00:30:25.10 Because there are some very practical things 00:30:25.11\00:30:26.85 that I'm gonna suggest. 00:30:26.86\00:30:28.38 That will help us to see exactly 00:30:28.39\00:30:31.13 how we can become men. 00:30:31.14\00:30:35.19 Men of God. 00:30:35.20\00:30:36.26 Christian men who will become Christian husbands. 00:30:36.27\00:30:39.62 Our next point is a question, would you be a missionary. 00:30:39.63\00:30:46.09 Would you be a missionary? 00:30:46.10\00:30:49.59 Actually I wanna -- I'm gonna skip back 00:30:49.60\00:30:52.63 and I'm gonna read something that I forgot to read. 00:30:52.64\00:30:55.47 And that is, from Ministry of Healing, page 360, 00:30:55.48\00:31:02.22 "Study to advance the happiness of each other." 00:31:02.23\00:31:06.18 See it's a process of studying, 00:31:06.19\00:31:08.79 you can study by reading and you need to, 00:31:08.80\00:31:10.36 you need to read books on relationships, 00:31:10.37\00:31:11.79 you need to read books on what it means to be a man of God. 00:31:11.80\00:31:16.45 Study, but study the character of the person you're linking. 00:31:16.46\00:31:19.83 You're seeking to unite your life with. 00:31:19.84\00:31:21.96 Study, you know, their personality, 00:31:21.97\00:31:23.87 study what they're like. 00:31:23.88\00:31:25.13 Study, study, study, pray, pray, pray, 00:31:25.14\00:31:27.84 ask the Lord for eyes to see, 00:31:27.85\00:31:29.67 so that you'll know what you're dealing with. 00:31:29.68\00:31:32.78 "Study to advance the happiness of each other. 00:31:32.79\00:31:35.16 Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. 00:31:35.17\00:31:38.97 Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, 00:31:38.98\00:31:41.74 will be as it were the very beginning of love. 00:31:41.75\00:31:45.24 The warmth of true friendship, 00:31:45.25\00:31:47.49 the love that binds heart to heart, 00:31:47.50\00:31:49.22 is a foretaste of the joys of heaven. 00:31:49.23\00:31:53.17 " Powerful, that's what marriage is supposed to be. 00:31:53.18\00:31:56.14 But we're gonna have to take this time. 00:31:56.15\00:31:58.56 This seven years, it doesn't have 00:31:58.57\00:32:00.72 to be literally seven years. 00:32:00.73\00:32:01.87 But has to be whatever it takes for us as young men 00:32:01.88\00:32:05.12 to be prepared to accept this responsibility. 00:32:05.13\00:32:08.62 All right, question number three. 00:32:08.63\00:32:10.86 How do we prepare to be a missionary? 00:32:10.87\00:32:15.08 The reason I believe that so many children leave the church 00:32:15.09\00:32:21.70 is because there has not been effective training. 00:32:21.71\00:32:26.29 Come with me to Proverbs Chapter 22. 00:32:26.30\00:32:31.05 Proverbs Chapter 22 00:32:31.06\00:32:35.25 and the Bible says in verse 6, train. 00:32:35.26\00:32:40.21 Proverbs Chapter 22 and verse 6, 00:32:40.22\00:32:43.52 "Train a child in the way he should go, 00:32:43.53\00:32:46.00 and when he is old he will not turn from it." 00:32:46.01\00:32:51.66 Train, train a child and as I began to really break 00:32:51.67\00:32:58.03 this verse down and think about it, you know, 00:32:58.04\00:33:01.18 in clear terms that I had ever thought about it before. 00:33:01.19\00:33:04.44 I realized that 00:33:04.45\00:33:07.22 a child is a child for a certain amount of time. 00:33:07.23\00:33:11.01 So if that's true, then he's only, he or she, 00:33:11.02\00:33:13.46 that child of yours in the future is only a child 00:33:13.47\00:33:17.86 for a certain amount of time, that gives us 00:33:17.87\00:33:19.38 a certain amount of time to work with them and train them. 00:33:19.39\00:33:23.32 Someone once said that, that if you want to be a parent 00:33:23.33\00:33:28.17 you need to be willing to be a missionary for twenty years. 00:33:28.18\00:33:32.81 We had a brother here today 00:33:32.82\00:33:33.87 who went to an unreached people group 00:33:33.88\00:33:36.35 and usually when missionaries go to unreached people groups, 00:33:36.36\00:33:39.90 they go there for ten, twelve and more years. 00:33:39.91\00:33:43.90 They have to be a real missionary 00:33:43.91\00:33:45.61 who takes the time to really study, to really integrate, 00:33:45.62\00:33:48.55 to really learn, how to do? 00:33:48.56\00:33:52.50 How to spread the gospel, I should say, 00:33:52.51\00:33:55.03 in that unreached people group. 00:33:55.04\00:33:58.58 And what we have to recognize 00:33:58.59\00:33:59.82 as future husbands if we have families, 00:33:59.83\00:34:05.88 our child is unreached, and we need 00:34:05.89\00:34:09.10 to be a missionary to that child 00:34:09.11\00:34:10.53 and we need to study and we need to do 00:34:10.54\00:34:12.57 whatever it takes to be the trainer 00:34:12.58\00:34:15.16 and the missionary that, that child needs. 00:34:15.17\00:34:18.55 What's very, very interesting is that there is, 00:34:18.56\00:34:22.50 there is an additional rendering to this verse. 00:34:22.51\00:34:26.02 And I take it from the New Living translation, 00:34:26.03\00:34:28.49 where it reads, direct your children on to the right path 00:34:28.50\00:34:32.16 and when they are older, not just old but older. 00:34:32.17\00:34:37.66 They will not leave it. 00:34:37.67\00:34:41.38 Okay, and as I was studying the differences there, 00:34:41.39\00:34:44.05 it became apparent to me that 00:34:44.06\00:34:48.51 often we look at this passage, this portion of scripture, 00:34:48.52\00:34:51.24 this verse 6 of Proverb 22. 00:34:51.25\00:34:53.38 And we say to ourselves, and I'm sure 00:34:53.39\00:34:55.55 you've heard it communicated this way that 00:34:55.56\00:34:57.75 if your child should go from the faith 00:34:57.76\00:35:00.20 and stray from the faith, when they're old. 00:35:00.21\00:35:01.74 If you did the right job they'll comeback. 00:35:01.75\00:35:04.81 And that's fine, I don't mind that, 00:35:04.82\00:35:06.69 I don't mind that interpretation. 00:35:06.70\00:35:08.42 I believe that's an accurate interpretation, 00:35:08.43\00:35:10.52 but I think there's something a little bit deeper 00:35:10.53\00:35:12.77 and even more powerful. 00:35:12.78\00:35:14.68 And that's the fact that the reality is -- 00:35:14.69\00:35:18.51 when our children, when we have them are growing up, 00:35:18.52\00:35:23.98 they reach different points. 00:35:23.99\00:35:25.96 Where they're older, 00:35:25.97\00:35:27.64 they're older at sixteen and they get more freedoms. 00:35:27.65\00:35:29.87 And they're at 18 and and they get more freedoms, 00:35:29.88\00:35:31.92 when they're older at 20 and they get more freedoms. 00:35:31.93\00:35:35.22 They're older at 21 and they get more freedoms. 00:35:35.23\00:35:37.16 And the significance of this is when they're older 00:35:37.17\00:35:40.27 I believe this is with the Bibles really digging down 00:35:40.28\00:35:42.51 deep into and it's saying, when they're older, 00:35:42.52\00:35:44.61 when they're to that point 00:35:44.62\00:35:46.42 where you as mother, as father. 00:35:46.43\00:35:47.45 When you as mother can't make the decisions for them. 00:35:51.25\00:35:55.83 And so when you can't make those decision for them. 00:35:55.84\00:35:59.02 When they're older, when they're 16, 18, 20 and 21, 00:35:59.03\00:36:04.87 they'll not depart from what you've taught them 00:36:04.88\00:36:08.05 if you've properly taught them. 00:36:08.06\00:36:10.58 To me this is amazing to recognize 00:36:10.59\00:36:12.52 this verse in that way, 00:36:12.53\00:36:13.58 because why should we settle for anything less than that. 00:36:13.59\00:36:17.61 If we have committed our lives to these children 00:36:17.62\00:36:22.65 and I maybe even go back one step forward. 00:36:22.66\00:36:24.60 If we've made the decision, but one step backwards, 00:36:24.61\00:36:26.81 if we made the decision to bring life into the world. 00:36:26.82\00:36:28.84 We need to be committed to raising that 00:36:28.85\00:36:33.10 child properly and so if you're not 00:36:33.11\00:36:34.71 willing to be a missionary, then don't have kids, 00:36:34.72\00:36:38.30 then don't have kids. 00:36:38.31\00:36:39.32 But that's the problem, because your wife 00:36:39.33\00:36:41.61 or your future wife probably wants kids. 00:36:41.62\00:36:45.43 And so that's why 00:36:45.44\00:36:46.44 it's a very serious consideration 00:36:46.45\00:36:48.00 as a young person. 00:36:48.01\00:36:49.48 I know my girlfriend, you know, 00:36:49.49\00:36:50.62 if we got married, she wants kids 00:36:50.63\00:36:51.89 so I've had to sit there and think to myself, 00:36:51.90\00:36:55.10 am I going to take the time, 00:36:55.11\00:36:57.94 am I really gonna take the time 00:36:57.95\00:37:00.88 to invest in being a father, 00:37:00.89\00:37:04.19 in being a missionary for those twenty years. 00:37:04.20\00:37:06.27 Because once the twenty years are gone, 00:37:06.28\00:37:08.01 if I'm lucky to have had that many years. 00:37:08.02\00:37:10.53 When those are gone, then whatever happens happens. 00:37:10.54\00:37:16.19 I just have to sit back and pray that it all happens okay. 00:37:16.20\00:37:20.43 So I've got to use that time properly. 00:37:20.44\00:37:23.64 And I've had to ask myself the question. 00:37:23.65\00:37:26.47 Would I really be willing to be a missionary. 00:37:26.48\00:37:30.90 Let me read to you some powerful stuff 00:37:30.91\00:37:32.43 from the Spirit of Prophecy. 00:37:32.44\00:37:33.61 Ellen White says in Child Guidance. 00:37:33.62\00:37:36.68 Page 38, "To parents is committed the great work 00:37:36.69\00:37:41.91 of educating and training their children 00:37:41.92\00:37:43.98 for the future, immortal life. 00:37:43.99\00:37:46.94 Many fathers and mothers seem to think that 00:37:46.95\00:37:49.30 if they feed and clothe their little ones, 00:37:49.31\00:37:51.69 and educate them according to the standard of the world, 00:37:51.70\00:37:55.34 they have done their duty. 00:37:55.35\00:37:58.43 They are too much occupied with business or pleasure 00:37:58.44\00:38:01.47 to make the education of their children 00:38:01.48\00:38:04.44 the study f their lives." 00:38:04.45\00:38:07.67 See there it comes back to whole study thing. 00:38:07.68\00:38:09.89 If we're preparing to be Christian men 00:38:09.90\00:38:13.05 that'll become Christian husbands. 00:38:13.06\00:38:15.36 We need to study these things and understand 00:38:15.37\00:38:17.67 and decide whether we're willing 00:38:17.68\00:38:18.96 to really accept the responsibility. 00:38:18.97\00:38:22.13 Because it's a greater responsibility 00:38:22.14\00:38:23.77 than we could ever think. 00:38:23.78\00:38:26.42 You know and any married man can testify 00:38:26.43\00:38:28.89 to the fact that it's more than you bargain for. 00:38:28.90\00:38:31.73 Not in a bad way but it's just more, 00:38:31.74\00:38:34.12 it's more intense, it's harder. 00:38:34.13\00:38:36.17 You just think of Christ. 00:38:36.24\00:38:37.58 Christ was going through as He was going through that, 00:38:37.59\00:38:41.26 the greatest hour of trial for Him. 00:38:41.27\00:38:45.10 He had to cry out, Father, 00:38:45.11\00:38:47.81 if there is a way like this cup pass from me. 00:38:47.82\00:38:51.71 It's going to be harder than you think 00:38:51.72\00:38:53.16 and so what I'm trying to communicate 00:38:53.17\00:38:55.28 to each of us myself included. 00:38:55.29\00:38:57.70 Is that we're going to really think about being a husband, 00:38:57.71\00:39:01.61 a true Christian husband, then we need to think 00:39:01.62\00:39:04.13 and we need to study and we need to pray 00:39:04.14\00:39:06.61 and do as much as we can before. 00:39:06.62\00:39:08.91 So we're prepared for what comes afterwards, amen. 00:39:08.92\00:39:12.95 Let me continue reading this quotation, 00:39:12.96\00:39:15.57 "They are too much occupied." 00:39:15.58\00:39:17.32 I'm gonna backup there and read 00:39:17.33\00:39:18.37 that sentence because it's powerful there. 00:39:18.38\00:39:19.65 "Too much occupied with business or pleasure 00:39:19.66\00:39:21.18 to make the education of their children 00:39:21.19\00:39:23.00 the study of their lives." 00:39:23.01\00:39:24.18 Don't let anything come in the way 00:39:24.19\00:39:25.46 if you chose to have children. 00:39:25.47\00:39:27.68 Don't let anything come in the way 00:39:27.69\00:39:28.92 if you're properly educating your children, 00:39:28.93\00:39:31.66 because it's the most important thing." 00:39:31.67\00:39:33.65 They do not seek to train them, 00:39:33.66\00:39:36.46 so that they will employ their talents 00:39:36.47\00:39:38.22 for the honor of their Redeemer. 00:39:38.23\00:39:40.60 Solomon did not say, 00:39:40.61\00:39:42.11 tell a child in the way he should go, 00:39:42.12\00:39:44.73 and when he is old, he will not depart from it, 00:39:44.74\00:39:46.87 but, "train up a child in the way he should go, 00:39:46.88\00:39:50.43 and when he is old, he will not depart from it." 00:39:50.44\00:39:53.43 Powerful positive language, 00:39:53.44\00:39:54.85 it gives us a promise that 00:39:54.86\00:39:56.72 we can claim if we've done our part. 00:39:56.73\00:39:59.14 If we've done our part. 00:39:59.15\00:40:00.59 I'm gonna read the next one to you, 00:40:00.60\00:40:02.64 it comes from conflicting for courage 00:40:02.65\00:40:04.70 and it's in reference to the life of moses 00:40:04.71\00:40:08.28 and the fact that his mother jochebed 00:40:08.29\00:40:10.66 did a good job training him. 00:40:10.67\00:40:13.62 Listen to this powerful quotation, 00:40:13.63\00:40:15.76 conflict and encourage page 80, 00:40:15.77\00:40:18.24 "the lessons learned at his mother's side 00:40:18.25\00:40:21.47 could not be forgotten. 00:40:21.48\00:40:24.11 They were a shield from the pride, the infidelity, 00:40:24.12\00:40:28.12 and the vice that flourished amid 00:40:28.13\00:40:30.05 the splendor of the court." 00:40:30.06\00:40:32.44 She was successful and I suggest that 00:40:32.45\00:40:37.69 each and every one of us men in this room, 00:40:37.70\00:40:39.69 if we chose to really accept that responsibility 00:40:39.70\00:40:43.42 and hold true to it. 00:40:43.43\00:40:46.03 To the commitment we've made. 00:40:46.04\00:40:48.67 Then our children in the future 00:40:48.68\00:40:52.76 will have the same success and the same enjoyment 00:40:52.77\00:40:56.51 of staying close to Lord as moses did. 00:40:56.52\00:40:59.21 Sure he made mistakes, sure our kids will make mistakes, 00:40:59.22\00:41:02.58 but the fact is they'll stay very close 00:41:02.59\00:41:06.13 because we've done our job correctly. 00:41:06.14\00:41:10.06 Come listen to this next one, incredible. 00:41:10.07\00:41:14.03 this comes from counsels to parents, 00:41:14.04\00:41:16.67 teachers and students. 00:41:16.68\00:41:18.07 So that would include, i'm sure, all of us. 00:41:18.08\00:41:21.92 And that is "but in order for parents 00:41:21.93\00:41:24.59 to do this work of training, 00:41:24.60\00:41:27.11 they must themselves understand 00:41:27.12\00:41:29.90 the way the child should go." 00:41:29.91\00:41:32.00 Don't think you're gonna be able 00:41:32.01\00:41:33.38 to properly train your child unless you know the way. 00:41:33.39\00:41:39.41 "It is impossible for parents to give their children 00:41:39.42\00:41:42.26 proper training unless they first give themselves to God, 00:41:42.27\00:41:46.09 learning of the great teacher lessons 00:41:46.10\00:41:49.23 of obedience to his will." 00:41:49.24\00:41:50.99 Powerful, powerful, that is what is needed from us. 00:41:51.00\00:41:57.95 if we're going to be able to know 00:41:57.96\00:41:59.16 the way to teach them to go and to train them to go. 00:41:59.17\00:42:01.60 We're gonna need to know that way 00:42:01.61\00:42:02.72 and we're gonna need to walk that way ourselves, amen. 00:42:02.73\00:42:06.08 They'll follow our example if we're good example, 00:42:06.09\00:42:09.02 if we're bad example they'll follow bad example. 00:42:09.03\00:42:11.72 And you'll get to see what you were 00:42:11.73\00:42:13.13 if you're not sure what you are now. 00:42:13.14\00:42:16.29 So, would you be a missionary, 00:42:16.30\00:42:20.75 but now the question is, 00:42:20.76\00:42:22.57 how can we practically prepare for this type of thing? 00:42:22.58\00:42:27.56 How can we prepare, 00:42:27.57\00:42:29.02 and i'd to really sit down and think 00:42:29.03\00:42:30.63 because the reality is that 00:42:30.64\00:42:34.02 there is no point getting into something 00:42:34.03\00:42:38.09 that you're not ready for if there is a way 00:42:38.10\00:42:40.93 to prepare for it ahead of time, amen. 00:42:40.94\00:42:43.80 I mean, if you could, if you could go get training, 00:42:43.81\00:42:46.67 you know, to learn how to, 00:42:46.68\00:42:48.32 what's the random example, jump out of an airplane. 00:42:48.33\00:42:51.73 But you chose, well, 00:42:51.74\00:42:52.74 maybe i'm not gonna get the training, 00:42:52.75\00:42:53.76 i'll just learn it on the way. 00:42:53.77\00:42:55.59 Well that's not the smartest thing to do, right. 00:42:55.60\00:42:58.84 It's better to go get that training 00:42:58.85\00:43:00.68 and I think a very practical way 00:43:00.69\00:43:02.21 and i'm gonna work back now 00:43:02.22\00:43:03.31 through the sequence of each of these points. 00:43:03.32\00:43:05.67 I'm gonna work backwards and we're gonna see 00:43:05.68\00:43:07.90 how we can prepare to be a missionary. 00:43:07.91\00:43:11.15 We can prepare to be a missionary 00:43:11.16\00:43:13.12 in probably many ways, 00:43:13.13\00:43:14.51 but the way i'm gonna suggest this morning is that 00:43:14.52\00:43:20.16 we can prepare to be a missionary by going out 00:43:20.17\00:43:25.32 and studying the bible with someone. 00:43:25.33\00:43:28.71 You're like whoa, what do you mean by that? 00:43:28.72\00:43:30.17 Well, think about it this way. 00:43:30.18\00:43:31.92 A missionary actually does that 00:43:31.93\00:43:33.88 and if the christian father is called to be a missionary, 00:43:33.89\00:43:39.21 then it would make sense 00:43:39.22\00:43:41.49 that there's probably some things you can learn 00:43:41.50\00:43:43.35 as a missionary that you could learn in disciplining -- 00:43:43.36\00:43:46.76 you could learn in training your kids. 00:43:46.77\00:43:50.22 And I list off three areas, 00:43:50.23\00:43:52.11 i'm not gonna go through an exhaustive list. 00:43:52.12\00:43:54.56 But I believe that we, if we go out 00:43:54.57\00:43:57.35 and take time to be missionaries 00:43:57.36\00:43:59.08 not necessarily abroad but right here in michigan, 00:43:59.09\00:44:01.25 right here in North America. 00:44:01.26\00:44:04.53 Take time to be missionaries, to study the bible of people. 00:44:04.54\00:44:09.20 We can learn the following things. 00:44:09.21\00:44:10.66 we can learn to teach our children, 00:44:10.67\00:44:12.88 we can learn to discipline our children. 00:44:12.89\00:44:15.59 We can learn, you know, 00:44:15.60\00:44:17.23 what the importance of quality time is with our children. 00:44:17.24\00:44:21.00 I've been bible working for two years now. 00:44:21.01\00:44:23.36 and in taking that time to bible work, 00:44:23.37\00:44:25.49 I've seen that just like a child 00:44:25.50\00:44:30.94 Who doesn't know anything about the bible. 00:44:30.95\00:44:33.87 I need people who don't know anything about the bible. 00:44:33.88\00:44:36.09 and so you go into someone's home 00:44:36.10\00:44:37.85 and you're starting from scratch. 00:44:37.86\00:44:39.76 You've got to learn to teach and to instruct 00:44:39.77\00:44:43.80 and to guide and to mold and to train and to teach them. 00:44:43.81\00:44:47.87 And those are the same skills you're gonna need to do. 00:44:47.88\00:44:50.51 And you're gonna need to have with your children. 00:44:50.52\00:44:53.24 You know, I studied the bible with some people, 00:44:53.25\00:44:55.26 who are younger people and they, 00:44:55.27\00:44:57.40 you know, they're tensions are not as much. 00:44:57.41\00:44:59.37 And you're gonna have those same struggles with your kids. 00:44:59.38\00:45:03.17 I studied the bible with a lady, 00:45:03.18\00:45:05.32 I had taken over the study from a friend of mine 00:45:05.33\00:45:09.62 and this is no insult to him. 00:45:09.63\00:45:11.52 But he had been a very young bible worker, you know, 00:45:11.53\00:45:14.83 meaning that he'd been a new bible worker. 00:45:14.84\00:45:16.26 I guess it's the best way to put it. 00:45:16.27\00:45:17.71 And he had not yet learned exactly 00:45:17.72\00:45:20.66 how to keep people's attention. 00:45:20.67\00:45:22.42 And when I started studying, you know, 00:45:22.43\00:45:23.98 she said, wow, this is so much better, you know. 00:45:23.99\00:45:26.26 and i'm like, well, i'm teaching the same things 00:45:26.27\00:45:28.02 But it's how you do it. 00:45:28.03\00:45:30.25 It's how you do it. 00:45:30.26\00:45:31.45 There are methods that we can use to teach our kids 00:45:31.46\00:45:34.93 that will help us to be more effective 00:45:34.94\00:45:38.08 and you can learn those skills 00:45:38.09\00:45:39.60 in studying the bible with others. 00:45:39.61\00:45:44.24 You can learn to discipline 00:45:44.25\00:45:45.66 your children conceptually at least, 00:45:45.67\00:45:49.44 by studying the bible with people. 00:45:49.45\00:45:50.70 Because the reality is, 00:45:50.71\00:45:51.81 if we're going to be a good bible worker, 00:45:51.82\00:45:53.17 if we're going to be a good pastor 00:45:53.18\00:45:54.32 whose studying the bible with people, 00:45:54.33\00:45:55.73 if we're going to be a good church member. 00:45:55.74\00:45:57.47 So now those three categories should include 00:45:57.48\00:45:59.30 all of us in this room. 00:45:59.31\00:46:02.16 We're gonna to be a good church member 00:46:02.17\00:46:03.40 who actually takes time to not just teach 00:46:03.41\00:46:06.31 but help that person learn 00:46:06.32\00:46:08.00 how to implement these truths in their lives. 00:46:08.01\00:46:10.94 How to break away from those habits, 00:46:10.95\00:46:12.65 we're gonna need to hold them accountable, 00:46:12.66\00:46:14.45 we're gonna need to "in one manner or another discipline." 00:46:14.46\00:46:19.05 And explain to them, listen, 00:46:19.06\00:46:20.59 you just can't keep doing this, you know. 00:46:20.60\00:46:23.02 And explain to them why 00:46:23.03\00:46:24.54 and go through that process with them of what 00:46:24.55\00:46:27.11 you would do with a child, especially an older child. 00:46:27.12\00:46:30.05 You can't just, you can't just spank your kids forever. 00:46:30.06\00:46:32.41 you've got to eventually explain to them 00:46:32.42\00:46:34.02 hold them accountable and conceptually discipline them. 00:46:34.03\00:46:38.81 Help them understand 00:46:38.82\00:46:40.44 and these things can be learned 00:46:40.45\00:46:41.56 while studying the bible with people. 00:46:41.57\00:46:45.00 And then a very, very important thing 00:46:45.01\00:46:46.82 that can be learned, really, it goes both ways. 00:46:46.83\00:46:51.12 You can learn this as parent 00:46:51.13\00:46:53.17 and you can learn this, you know, 00:46:53.18\00:46:54.49 as a bible worker or as someone, 00:46:54.50\00:46:56.83 a church member going out and giving bible studies. 00:46:56.84\00:46:58.54 And that is the importance of spending quality time 00:46:58.55\00:47:01.95 with the people you're studying the bible with. 00:47:01.96\00:47:05.34 Too often we study the bible with someone. 00:47:05.35\00:47:09.12 and when we're studying the bible, 00:47:09.13\00:47:10.53 you know, we just want to impart 00:47:10.54\00:47:11.87 all this information to them, we leave the door 00:47:11.88\00:47:13.65 and we expect them to accept it. 00:47:13.66\00:47:14.79 You know on their own, but these people need friends 00:47:14.80\00:47:16.88 and if they're ever going to come to the Lord 00:47:16.89\00:47:18.32 and really love the Lord 00:47:18.33\00:47:19.40 and have the support of a church, 00:47:19.41\00:47:22.46 they're going to need you to be their friend. 00:47:22.47\00:47:25.60 Being a father means being a friend to your child 00:47:25.61\00:47:28.98 as well as disciplining your child 00:47:28.99\00:47:30.83 and as well as training your child. 00:47:30.84\00:47:33.85 All these things can be learned 00:47:33.86\00:47:36.28 from preparing yourselves as a missionary. 00:47:36.29\00:47:41.65 Very practical things, there's probably others 00:47:41.66\00:47:43.90 but this is one practical way to do it. 00:47:43.91\00:47:46.51 And I would suggest it for 2 fold. number one, 00:47:46.52\00:47:48.45 you can learn these lessons that you need to be a parent. 00:47:48.46\00:47:53.01 And number two, at least in the process 00:47:53.02\00:47:56.88 you'll win a soul for Jesus, amen. 00:47:56.89\00:47:59.63 You'll be able to enlarge the kingdom 00:47:59.64\00:48:01.55 and that's what we should all be about. 00:48:01.56\00:48:04.84 We should all be about enlarging the kingdom. 00:48:04.85\00:48:08.81 Now, going back to our second question, 00:48:08.82\00:48:14.79 how would you work seven years, the question is, 00:48:14.80\00:48:17.36 how do we work seven years. 00:48:17.37\00:48:19.20 And the reason that this question had to become 00:48:19.21\00:48:21.74 so clear to me is because I started to recognize, 00:48:21.75\00:48:25.02 going into the relationship that i'm in now. 00:48:25.03\00:48:28.91 I was very disillusioned with, 00:48:28.92\00:48:32.25 or I had this illusion I guess I should say, 00:48:32.26\00:48:34.82 or I don't even wanna -- illusion is a good word. 00:48:34.83\00:48:37.98 that illusion of grandeur, this big picture of all, 00:48:37.99\00:48:41.14 you know, I'm gonna find this girl. 00:48:41.15\00:48:42.81 Who's just gonna be the greatest support to me 00:48:42.82\00:48:44.57 and she's gonna just gonna prompt be up 00:48:44.58\00:48:46.38 to be this best man that I can be. 00:48:46.39\00:48:49.65 But the reality is, we need to do those same things 00:48:49.66\00:48:53.15 for the women that we're considering marrying. 00:48:53.16\00:48:54.90 We need to support them, we need to lift them up. 00:48:54.91\00:49:00.94 and so I had to really grapple with this question. 00:49:00.95\00:49:03.57 And as I grapple with it I saw the things that 00:49:03.58\00:49:05.66 I was teaching to you today about the fact that 00:49:05.67\00:49:07.56 we need to be prepared to provide security holistically, 00:49:07.57\00:49:11.07 financial security, emotional security. 00:49:11.08\00:49:13.87 We need to support their goals, their dreams, their vision. 00:49:13.88\00:49:15.88 think about it, jacob when he went to the well. 00:49:15.89\00:49:18.46 He went to the well and he saw rachel there, 00:49:18.47\00:49:20.43 who was a shepherdess, he helped her do her job. 00:49:20.44\00:49:24.19 Sometimes we'll have to these things, 00:49:24.20\00:49:25.58 so how can we actually practically prepare 00:49:25.59\00:49:28.17 to help in this manner to our future wives. 00:49:28.18\00:49:33.83 How can we actually do that? 00:49:33.84\00:49:35.72 Well some practical things. 00:49:35.73\00:49:38.65 I believe two of the most practical things 00:49:38.66\00:49:42.53 are going to be how you treat your sister 00:49:42.54\00:49:46.16 and how you treat your mother. 00:49:46.17\00:49:49.06 Okay. 00:49:49.07\00:49:51.06 Now, okay, I'll come to the third thing in a moment. 00:49:51.07\00:49:53.92 but if you can take the patience 00:49:53.93\00:49:56.87 you need with your sister. 00:49:56.88\00:49:57.92 How many of you have a sister? 00:49:57.93\00:50:00.55 Okay, I have a sister too 00:50:00.56\00:50:02.28 and your sisters can try your patience. 00:50:02.29\00:50:06.16 They can really test your patience. 00:50:06.17\00:50:07.85 let me tell you, girlfriends can too. 00:50:07.86\00:50:10.54 and wives can too. 00:50:10.55\00:50:13.57 And so if you can practice learning patience 00:50:13.58\00:50:16.87 by treating your sister with the utmost respect 00:50:16.88\00:50:19.30 and the utmost love, you'll be prepared 00:50:19.31\00:50:22.65 you've developed the habit of treating 00:50:22.66\00:50:24.77 your future wife in that same manner. 00:50:24.78\00:50:28.32 And the same thing goes with your mother, 00:50:28.33\00:50:31.02 if you can't love your mother 00:50:31.03\00:50:33.43 who's taking care of you for twenty years. 00:50:33.44\00:50:35.73 What makes you think that you're gonna love your wife 00:50:35.74\00:50:37.74 who's gonna have to put up for you 00:50:37.75\00:50:39.65 with you for ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years. 00:50:39.66\00:50:42.75 However long you guys, you know, live I should say. 00:50:42.76\00:50:45.91 Because no one, you know, 00:50:45.92\00:50:47.04 we don't believe in divorce, amen. 00:50:47.05\00:50:49.46 And God's hates divorce but he loves divorcees. 00:50:49.47\00:50:52.29 Amen. 00:50:52.30\00:50:54.70 No sin is greater than the next. 00:50:54.71\00:50:57.69 But God hates divorce because it tears apart families 00:50:57.70\00:51:00.14 and so we need to practice. 00:51:00.15\00:51:03.92 We need to practice as much as we can, 00:51:03.93\00:51:05.72 before we get married. 00:51:05.73\00:51:07.92 So that when we do get married we'll be the husbands that 00:51:07.93\00:51:11.03 God wants us to be and we won't run 00:51:11.04\00:51:13.23 The risk of being divorced. 00:51:13.24\00:51:16.13 So I think those are two very practical ways 00:51:16.14\00:51:18.51 as far as adapting yourself to the personality of your wife, 00:51:18.52\00:51:25.26 your future wife is by practicing 00:51:25.27\00:51:28.69 adapting your personality and adapting your way of life 00:51:28.70\00:51:32.34 to your mother and to your sister. 00:51:32.35\00:51:35.90 Good practical suggestions. 00:51:35.91\00:51:38.23 Then the next one is, 00:51:38.24\00:51:40.18 and this is more in the area of financial security. 00:51:40.19\00:51:42.86 We need to, we need to hold down jobs. 00:51:42.87\00:51:45.05 If you have not been able to hold down a stable job, 00:51:45.06\00:51:47.58 then the reality is, you're probably not ready. 00:51:47.59\00:51:51.01 You know, and that's not to make fun of anybody, 00:51:51.02\00:51:52.73 but you're probably not ready to take on 00:51:52.74\00:51:57.17 the responsibility of a family. 00:51:57.18\00:51:59.65 Because bringing your family into the world. 00:51:59.66\00:52:02.88 it's hard enough to take care of yourself. 00:52:02.89\00:52:06.02 But trying to care of someone else is another story 00:52:06.15\00:52:09.44 and so you need to to hold jobs 00:52:09.45\00:52:10.80 and you know if you can get experiences where, 00:52:10.81\00:52:15.44 you know, there's a, if you can get a job 00:52:15.45\00:52:18.04 where you have an opportunity to move up, 00:52:18.05\00:52:19.64 it's good practice. 00:52:19.65\00:52:21.30 Because then you can really see, 00:52:21.31\00:52:24.06 you know, what it's going to be like. 00:52:24.07\00:52:26.59 What it's going to be like to help your wife 00:52:26.60\00:52:30.23 get where she needs to be, etc, etc. 00:52:30.24\00:52:32.76 And help her reach her goals and dreams 00:52:32.77\00:52:35.74 because you've had experience 00:52:35.75\00:52:37.79 reaching your goals and dreams. 00:52:37.80\00:52:38.84 You've had experience going up the ladder. 00:52:38.85\00:52:42.04 and so these are just some practical suggestions. 00:52:42.05\00:52:44.21 No doubt there are more, but for sake of time 00:52:44.22\00:52:48.40 I'll move on to our last point here. 00:52:48.41\00:52:51.54 Now, the last point is, our last point 00:52:51.55\00:52:54.91 which was our first question and that was, 00:52:54.92\00:52:57.59 would you give your life. 00:52:57.60\00:52:59.70 Would you give your life? 00:52:59.71\00:53:00.76 well, how do we really give our lives? 00:53:00.77\00:53:04.07 And I'll give you a simple principle first 00:53:04.08\00:53:06.10 And then we'll look at some practical stuff. 00:53:06.11\00:53:08.67 the simple principle is this. 00:53:08.68\00:53:13.13 That what it really means in the practical sense 00:53:13.14\00:53:15.88 to give your life is to be selfless. 00:53:15.89\00:53:22.72 so often in relationships we think of self first. 00:53:22.73\00:53:28.33 And we're willing to give up our selfish desires, 00:53:28.34\00:53:32.58 we'll be able to help. 00:53:32.59\00:53:36.93 We'll be able to love our wife in the way that 00:53:36.94\00:53:39.29 we should love and we'll be able 00:53:39.30\00:53:41.71 to step by step, it happens small. 00:53:41.72\00:53:43.91 If you can give up yourself the desires, 00:53:43.92\00:53:47.39 one at at time, step by step, 00:53:47.40\00:53:50.08 you'll be able one day when it calls for it, 00:53:50.09\00:53:53.26 when you have a wife be able to put her needs first. 00:53:53.27\00:53:57.87 And her greatest need is spirituality. 00:53:57.88\00:54:01.25 we need to be there like I said. 00:54:01.26\00:54:03.41 To spiritually support our wives, 00:54:03.42\00:54:06.19 to spiritually nurture our wives, 00:54:06.20\00:54:09.42 so that they will be saved in the kingdom. 00:54:09.43\00:54:12.70 You know, one of the things i've experienced 00:54:12.71\00:54:14.07 in my relationship with my girlfriend is, 00:54:14.16\00:54:17.61 she's not, she's not always been 00:54:17.62\00:54:21.14 where I've wanted to her be spiritually. 00:54:21.15\00:54:23.68 And of course none of us are perfect 00:54:23.69\00:54:25.05 and of course we all have different weaknesses 00:54:25.06\00:54:26.89 and as I've looked at some of these weaknesses 00:54:26.90\00:54:29.02 it's easy to focus on the weaknesses. 00:54:29.03\00:54:32.20 It's easy to focus on the weaknesses 00:54:32.21\00:54:34.29 and sometimes I focused on the weaknesses 00:54:34.30\00:54:36.73 and I've just said to myself, 00:54:36.74\00:54:38.90 man, you know, I just lose patience. 00:54:38.91\00:54:43.37 The reality is if we spend the time with the Lord 00:54:43.38\00:54:47.69 and here's the last practical suggestion. 00:54:47.70\00:54:50.15 we spend our time with the Lord 00:54:50.16\00:54:52.59 and then we go out there. 00:54:52.60\00:54:53.70 Once again coming back to the bible study concept 00:54:53.71\00:54:58.08 we go out and we give bible studies. 00:54:58.09\00:55:00.32 We will see the work 00:55:00.33\00:55:02.42 It takes to spiritually bring someone to the Lord. 00:55:02.43\00:55:06.85 And that same type of work is going to be needed 00:55:06.86\00:55:09.56 to be invested in a christian home 00:55:09.57\00:55:11.41 in order to help our wives maintain their spirituality 00:55:11.42\00:55:15.18 and to help us maintain our spirituality 00:55:15.19\00:55:17.68 and ensure that we've been faithful husbands. 00:55:17.69\00:55:22.85 Real men of God who have been faithful husbands. 00:55:22.86\00:55:27.65 You know, there's a bible verse 00:55:27.66\00:55:30.82 and I'll just read it to you quickly 00:55:30.83\00:55:33.08 and that is matthew 10 verse 8 it says, 00:55:33.09\00:55:35.68 "freely you have received, freely give." 00:55:35.69\00:55:39.28 Christ gave his life for us so that we could be saved. 00:55:39.29\00:55:44.16 We need to be willing to do the same thing 00:55:44.17\00:55:48.28 for the wives that we marry, as men, 00:55:48.29\00:55:52.70 however many of us 00:55:52.71\00:55:53.72 who are still contemplating marriage in this room, 00:55:53.73\00:55:56.91 whoever those wives are out there for us, 00:55:56.92\00:56:00.73 we need to be willing to be as graceful as merciful, 00:56:00.74\00:56:05.71 so often we just, 00:56:05.72\00:56:07.20 we're jut like you should be doing better. 00:56:07.21\00:56:08.83 You should be, you know, 00:56:08.84\00:56:09.97 the reality is people take time to go 00:56:09.98\00:56:11.62 and you will see this when you're studying 00:56:11.63\00:56:12.87 the bible with people. 00:56:12.88\00:56:14.74 And you see that when you're studying the bible with them. 00:56:14.75\00:56:17.73 That it takes time and we need to give them the time. 00:56:17.74\00:56:23.27 So that they can make good decisions 00:56:23.28\00:56:25.65 and they can grow to where we need them to grow to. 00:56:25.66\00:56:29.90 And it's important when you're studying the bible, 00:56:29.91\00:56:31.50 people appraise them for their growth. 00:56:31.51\00:56:33.55 You know, and don't praise them 00:56:33.56\00:56:34.57 for their own vain glory 00:56:34.58\00:56:35.79 but praise them so they feel encouraged that, 00:56:35.80\00:56:37.70 yeah, I am making progress. 00:56:37.71\00:56:39.86 And those same things we can do 00:56:39.87\00:56:41.93 with our wives and our future wives. 00:56:41.94\00:56:46.25 And so the three questions that 00:56:46.26\00:56:50.91 we as christian young men need to ask ourselves are, 00:56:50.92\00:56:56.20 would you give your life, 00:56:56.21\00:57:00.73 would you work seven years, 00:57:00.74\00:57:06.90 And would you be a missionary. 00:57:06.91\00:57:09.11 Stand with me if you're willing to answer 00:57:09.12\00:57:12.68 yes to all thee of those questions 00:57:12.69\00:57:14.37 when your time comes. 00:57:14.38\00:57:16.08 And to make your commitment now. 00:57:16.09\00:57:17.45 maybe that's how I should put it -- 00:57:17.46\00:57:19.57 stand right now if you're willing 00:57:19.58\00:57:20.79 to make a commitment, that 00:57:20.80\00:57:21.86 when your time to be a husbands comes. 00:57:21.87\00:57:25.03 That you will be willing to give 00:57:25.04\00:57:30.04 your live towards seven years. 00:57:30.05\00:57:32.68 and to be a missionary, 00:57:32.69\00:57:33.69 stand with me as we close with prayer. 00:57:33.70\00:57:40.55 Dear heavenly father, 00:57:40.56\00:57:43.79 we thank you for the opportunity 00:57:43.80\00:57:45.25 to study the word of God. 00:57:45.26\00:57:47.90 We thank you for the opportunity to be men 00:57:47.91\00:57:50.76 who have an awesome responsibility before us. 00:57:50.77\00:57:55.96 Lord Jesus, we need help in these responsibilities 00:57:55.97\00:57:59.36 but we're making commitment today, to our future wives. 00:57:59.37\00:58:03.56 That we would give our lives. 00:58:03.57\00:58:05.91 I make that commitment, 00:58:05.92\00:58:06.96 Jesus, I would give my life to my future wife. 00:58:06.97\00:58:10.92 I would give up my life to my future wife. 00:58:10.93\00:58:13.99 And then Lord we make the commitment that 00:58:14.00\00:58:15.78 we would be willing to work for seven years. 00:58:15.79\00:58:20.46 And in my own heart I make that commitment, 00:58:20.47\00:58:23.41 to be willing to work seven years. 00:58:23.42\00:58:24.96 To do whatever it takes to be able to provide 00:58:24.97\00:58:28.38 holistically for the security of my future wife. 00:58:28.39\00:58:32.66 And Lord, thirdly, I pray that 00:58:32.67\00:58:37.47 we'd all be willing to be missionaries 00:58:37.48\00:58:39.34 if we decide to have children. 00:58:39.35\00:58:41.78 That we'd committed now to doing whatever 00:58:41.79\00:58:43.98 it takes that our children make it to the kingdom. 00:58:43.99\00:58:49.56 Would you be a missionary, I say yes, Jesus. 00:58:49.57\00:58:51.78 And I pray that each young man standing here 00:58:51.79\00:58:53.85 with me today and each married person 00:58:53.86\00:58:56.51 who does not have children yet standing here today 00:58:56.52\00:58:58.46 would be willing to be a missionary. 00:58:58.47\00:59:02.41 For our future families, this is our prayer, 00:59:02.42\00:59:04.50 in Jesus name we pray. 00:59:04.51\00:59:05.55 Amen. 00:59:05.56\00:59:06.61