¤ ¤ 00:00:01.96\00:00:15.18 Type 2 diabetes and chronic obesity. This includes heart 00:00:15.24\00:00:18.48 attacks and strokes. That 6-1/2 747s crashing every day. What's 00:00:18.51\00:00:23.18 even more surprising is that the fix is easy. It's your lifestyle 00:00:23.25\00:00:27.36 Wouldn't it be nice if you could actually add quality years to 00:00:27.39\00:00:31.56 your life rather than dying one organ at a time. Obesity and 00:00:31.59\00:00:35.66 diabetes are the cause of over a million deaths per year and most 00:00:35.73\00:00:39.47 diseases are reversible because most diseases are lifestyle 00:00:39.50\00:00:43.00 Seriously now, they can be reversed and the quality of your 00:00:46.94\00:00:50.48 life can be renewed... 00:00:50.51\00:00:59.15 You will see dramatic changes in the first few days of our 00:00:59.19\00:01:02.32 program and you will be on the road to a better, more robust 00:01:02.36\00:01:05.46 quality of life. 00:01:05.49\00:01:12.87 Hi friends and welcome to another edition of NEWSTART Now. 00:01:12.90\00:01:17.67 I'm your host, Ron Gianonni. In our studio with me I have 00:01:17.71\00:01:23.18 the privilege of introducing to you Lucy Lovey from New York. 00:01:23.21\00:01:28.52 Well actually she's from San Diego via New York. Let's take 00:01:28.58\00:01:33.86 a look at when she first arrived 00:01:33.89\00:01:36.56 I had quadruple bypass and I had a hip replacement in my right 00:01:36.59\00:01:45.53 hip and then the year after I had my left hip replaced. I've 00:01:45.57\00:01:53.91 had two back surgeries, lower back, for spinal stenosis. Then 00:01:53.94\00:02:02.02 I had some vertebrae that had to be fixed. There's got to be some 00:02:02.05\00:02:10.13 place. I'm so sick of doctors. I'm so sick of pills. I'm so 00:02:10.16\00:02:14.43 sick of surgery and I keep getting worse. I said there's 00:02:14.46\00:02:18.67 got to be... I said they have fat farms, they have this, they 00:02:18.73\00:02:21.80 have that. They have all kinds of programs. Isn't there 00:02:21.84\00:02:24.81 something for people that can go and get a real wellness place. 00:02:24.84\00:02:31.35 I came here because my health has been deteriorating for the 00:02:31.38\00:02:36.85 past, actually for about the past 20 years, but it's gotten 00:02:36.89\00:02:44.46 much worse over the past five, six years. And I've had numerous 00:02:44.49\00:02:51.43 surgeries and nothing has seemed to help me. And I've gained an 00:02:51.47\00:02:57.97 awful lot of weight and that has been a real detriment. I want to 00:02:58.01\00:03:04.51 be able to have normal blood pressure because my blood 00:03:04.55\00:03:09.65 pressure has been very high and even with medication it's always 00:03:09.68\00:03:16.22 too high and has caused me to have kidney problems. I also 00:03:16.26\00:03:22.03 would like to lose as much weight as I can while I'm here 00:03:22.06\00:03:28.30 and then continue once I go home. And I would like to have 00:03:28.34\00:03:35.68 energy and be able to walk and not be all out of breath. 00:03:35.74\00:03:43.02 Welcome back friends, and as I promised... Lucy, how are you 00:03:43.05\00:03:48.16 dear. All right. Lucy Lovey. But as a I called you earlier Lovey 00:03:48.19\00:03:52.86 Buggy and I asked you if anybody called you that. You said a lot. 00:03:52.89\00:03:57.73 Not Lovey Buggy, just Lovey. I didn't get that other part. Just 00:03:57.77\00:04:02.60 Lovey. I heard something 00:04:02.64\00:04:06.17 different. So I'm going to call you Lovey. Is that okay? 00:04:06.21\00:04:09.34 Okay, that's fine. All right so you got here. We 00:04:09.38\00:04:14.85 saw when you first arrived we just say your interview, the 00:04:14.88\00:04:17.79 first one. What's changed? Has anything changed? 00:04:17.82\00:04:22.66 A lot has changed. I didn't know what to expect when I came 00:04:22.72\00:04:30.20 although I knew it was going to be positive. What I was not 00:04:30.23\00:04:36.87 expecting was it to be like a little bit of heaven here. 00:04:36.91\00:04:43.48 You weren't expecting that? 00:04:43.51\00:04:46.05 No, I was not expecting prayer before everything, even getting 00:04:46.11\00:04:53.46 on a bus we pray. The massage therapist before she touches me 00:04:53.52\00:05:01.00 she prays. The doctor prays before... I mean I'm so prayed 00:05:01.03\00:05:08.87 up. I mean I feel so elevated. I mean I feel so protected with 00:05:08.90\00:05:16.75 all these prayers constantly every day, all the time, no 00:05:16.78\00:05:21.38 matter who I talk to. So I was not expecting that. That was a 00:05:21.42\00:05:27.86 very pleasant surprise. I was expecting everybody to be nice. 00:05:27.92\00:05:33.90 You know I'm not surprised by that. But you know you could be 00:05:33.96\00:05:40.54 nice because it's your job and it's protocol. But you guys are 00:05:40.57\00:05:47.11 not nice because of that. You're nice because it's in your nature 00:05:47.14\00:05:53.65 God's nature is in you and you're genuinely nice. You don't 00:05:53.68\00:05:58.39 have to try, it just comes automatically. I feel that. 00:05:58.42\00:06:03.56 That's so precious. 00:06:03.59\00:06:05.06 I feel that and that is what I'm thinking and I'm going to feel 00:06:05.09\00:06:14.47 so drastically changed too because of it. You know people 00:06:14.50\00:06:18.84 are nice when I am but this is different. This is really... 00:06:18.87\00:06:24.18 This is like it's going to be like after Jesus comes back, 00:06:24.21\00:06:30.29 how everybody's going to be so loving and so carefree and so 00:06:30.32\00:06:35.66 nice, so genuine. It's going to be great. So I'm getting a 00:06:35.69\00:06:42.03 little glimpse of what I think it's going to be like in our 00:06:42.06\00:06:48.37 next life. So how about you physically. 00:06:48.40\00:06:53.88 What's happened? Are you still on medication? 00:06:53.91\00:06:58.25 Yeah. Physically I came with a lot of medical problems. Then I 00:06:58.28\00:07:05.52 got sicker because there were other things that were 00:07:05.55\00:07:10.46 happening that just kind of blossomed here. Not as a 00:07:10.49\00:07:15.33 consequence of being here but because they had them in me and 00:07:15.36\00:07:21.70 they just... Yeah. So, but I see the changes and I am getting 00:07:21.74\00:07:26.54 better. But it's a long process because you know when you have 00:07:26.57\00:07:31.35 so much to work with, you know. 00:07:31.38\00:07:36.42 So were you taken off any of your medications? 00:07:36.45\00:07:39.55 I've been kind of taking myself off a little bit. Dr. Lukens... 00:07:39.62\00:07:45.63 Then I got to go back because my blood pressure shoots up. 00:07:45.66\00:07:51.50 So we're both trying to get me off. When the blood pressure 00:07:51.53\00:07:55.90 goes up, so I'm back on medicine but I don't intend to be there 00:07:55.94\00:08:01.01 forever. I lost 10 pounds. I've got a whole lot to go but those 00:08:01.04\00:08:05.91 10 pounds, already I feel, you know, I'm feeling it and that 00:08:05.95\00:08:10.79 is a good thing. Dr. Lukens shared with me and 00:08:10.82\00:08:17.69 we're going to be interviewing him in just a little bit, that 00:08:17.73\00:08:21.90 your walk, he walked with you back up that little slope from 00:08:21.96\00:08:26.77 the medical facility, he said you did really, really well 00:08:26.80\00:08:32.91 compared to when you first arrived. So what do you think 00:08:32.94\00:08:39.01 of the food here? The food is, it's good. 00:08:39.05\00:08:45.05 It's not like we fix at home. 00:08:45.09\00:08:47.56 No but it's... The people use good imagination and they can 00:08:47.59\00:08:54.70 do miracles with vegetables. The only thing is that since I 00:08:54.73\00:09:00.64 love a lot of seasoning, I think I would do with even more. 00:09:00.67\00:09:06.51 Amen. See that's the way my wife cooks. We use a lot of seasoning 00:09:06.54\00:09:11.75 A lot of garlic and onions and a little seasoning. 00:09:11.78\00:09:16.25 I says I'll die of anything but I'll never die of cancer, not 00:09:16.28\00:09:19.29 with all the garlic I eat. 00:09:19.32\00:09:23.86 So are you satisfied with the results, really, truly satisfied 00:09:23.89\00:09:28.46 I'm looking forward to coming back. Yes, I'm looking forward 00:09:28.50\00:09:33.90 to coming back when I get quite a bit thinner because I wasn't 00:09:33.94\00:09:38.27 able to do what the other people did. I wasn't able to go on 00:09:38.31\00:09:42.78 hikes, I wasn't able to do all the... They would go and they 00:09:42.81\00:09:48.58 would come back. Oh I did three miles. I'd be pooped out just 00:09:48.62\00:09:53.46 going to the doctor's office and back, I'm panting, so I knew 00:09:53.49\00:09:58.29 I couldn't do it. 00:09:58.33\00:10:00.13 Well, we're going to get you back here and when you come back 00:10:00.16\00:10:03.03 can we interview you again? 00:10:03.06\00:10:04.80 Oh absolutely. So our viewers can see how 00:10:04.83\00:10:07.44 you've changed. Yeah. I would love to bring my 00:10:07.47\00:10:09.60 son here, one of my sons. He's in the restaurant business and 00:10:09.64\00:10:14.58 you know he goes to the kitchen and he'll pick a little and he's 00:10:14.61\00:10:19.51 getting... He's very muscular but he's getting a big gut. 00:10:19.55\00:10:26.62 And I tell him, I don't want you to wind up like me. 00:10:26.65\00:10:29.49 So we already covered the medication but have you stopped 00:10:29.52\00:10:35.96 any of the medication at all? 00:10:36.00\00:10:38.73 I'm on very little medication. It's only on blood pressure 00:10:38.77\00:10:43.87 medication. Primarily blood pressure. 00:10:43.91\00:10:46.47 That's all I take. So how's your heart feel after 00:10:46.51\00:10:49.11 being here for a couple of weeks? 00:10:49.14\00:10:53.88 Good. I'm out of breath but it's not 00:10:53.92\00:10:57.22 from my heart. It's from my lungs. 00:10:57.25\00:11:00.52 Yes. And how about your cholesterol numbers? Did they 00:11:00.56\00:11:05.96 change? I think they got a little higher 00:11:05.99\00:11:08.16 The doctor told me this morning the triglycerides went up a 00:11:08.20\00:11:13.90 little bit but he says those things happen. Some somehow I 00:11:13.94\00:11:18.91 wasn't concerned about that because I trust Dr. Lukens. 00:11:18.94\00:11:24.81 I feel that I lose a few more pounds and that will go down. 00:11:24.88\00:11:30.72 And I definitely am not going back to no cholesterol 00:11:30.75\00:11:34.69 medication. Lovey, we're out of time but I 00:11:34.72\00:11:37.76 wanted to thank you for coming here and sharing with us and 00:11:37.79\00:11:42.33 God bless you. I'll be in touch with you in about three weeks. 00:11:42.36\00:11:46.84 Yes okay. Friends don't go away, we'll be 00:11:46.87\00:11:50.14 back after this. 00:11:50.17\00:11:53.88 ¤ ¤ 00:11:54.34\00:12:23.94 Welcome back friends and help me welcome Dr. Lukens. 00:12:23.97\00:12:30.18 It's a pleasure. This is a very interesting case and it's a 00:12:30.25\00:12:33.65 little different than some so I think a lot of people can be 00:12:33.68\00:12:37.05 edified by this. Well it's a special case for me 00:12:37.09\00:12:40.39 because this is my sister, as I told you earlier. You said, well 00:12:40.46\00:12:43.89 how are you related. I said we're both members of the zipper 00:12:43.93\00:12:47.20 club. And the people who've had open heart surgery know what I'm 00:12:47.23\00:12:50.47 talking about. You have a big scar down your chest as you 00:12:50.50\00:12:54.50 know and it looks like a zipper for some folks. In any case, 00:12:54.54\00:12:58.57 let's talk about her and how she's doing. 00:12:58.61\00:13:01.64 Okay the main thing for her is that her heart has not been good 00:13:01.71\00:13:07.98 and that any time you have a major operation like that it's 00:13:08.02\00:13:14.02 tough on you and she kind of wishes that she had done this 00:13:14.06\00:13:20.03 instead because her heart could have gotten stronger and it's 00:13:20.06\00:13:25.37 getting stronger now. The thing is even after she's had the 00:13:25.40\00:13:29.97 operation the heart is still large and it's flabby and it's 00:13:30.01\00:13:34.71 not beating well. She still has a high blood pressure that she 00:13:34.74\00:13:39.75 had and she's still got marginal kidneys. The doctor said you 00:13:39.78\00:13:44.19 know Lucy your kidneys are just kind of holding their own but 00:13:44.22\00:13:47.92 they're not really good. You've got to stay on top of this. 00:13:47.96\00:13:52.46 So you know your kidneys are going to function for as long as 00:13:52.49\00:13:56.33 you need them. Then another thing is when she came in and 00:13:56.36\00:14:00.30 we didn't know this, because we didn't know her, she had high 00:14:00.34\00:14:05.14 blood pressure. We knew that she was on medications for heart 00:14:05.17\00:14:09.38 failure, we knew that she was on medications for edema; she was 00:14:09.41\00:14:13.21 having swelling in her legs and she was having all these things 00:14:13.25\00:14:19.95 but she just kept coughing. So the nurses go in to find out 00:14:19.99\00:14:26.63 what her O2 saturation was and it would go way, way down. So 00:14:26.66\00:14:31.83 then actually one of the nights both of them were right with her 00:14:31.87\00:14:36.04 during the night, they were really concerned about it. So we 00:14:36.10\00:14:40.74 couldn't tell is this because of heart failure, is this because 00:14:40.78\00:14:48.15 of ones that have like emphysema Is this because of some kind of 00:14:48.18\00:14:53.96 an acute process. Then when we got her blood back, we thought 00:14:53.99\00:15:00.03 oh no, her hemoglobin is only 9. You know and for a woman 00:15:00.06\00:15:05.63 labs are different but 12-14 is about right and when you have 00:15:05.67\00:15:11.27 kidney disease, chronic kidney disease, your kidneys stop 00:15:11.31\00:15:16.85 sending messages through to the bone marrow "make more red blood 00:15:16.88\00:15:21.55 cells. We're running out of oxygen. We need more red blood 00:15:21.58\00:15:26.59 cells. And we need more hemoglobin in the red blood 00:15:26.62\00:15:30.83 cells and we're starving for oxygen so make more. " When the 00:15:30.89\00:15:35.00 kidneys are damaged if it's diabetes, if it's from high 00:15:35.03\00:15:39.23 blood pressure, whatever, when the kidneys stop functioning 00:15:39.30\00:15:43.37 well and they stop sending that message through to the bone 00:15:43.41\00:15:47.41 marrow and when your hemoglobin gets low enough you're just kind 00:15:47.48\00:15:52.18 dragging around and you're not oxygenating your blood and then 00:15:52.21\00:15:57.19 you just feel very weak and you're just not functioning well 00:15:57.22\00:16:01.49 So then the idea would be to treat the kidneys. That'll take 00:16:01.52\00:16:05.73 care of a multitude of problems. 00:16:05.76\00:16:07.60 Yeah, but how do you treat the kidneys when you're ready for 00:16:07.63\00:16:10.03 dialysis. That's your job. 00:16:10.07\00:16:15.50 That's nobody's job. But there are companies that make 00:16:15.54\00:16:18.34 injections, they're very expensive and the injections 00:16:18.37\00:16:21.11 now tell the bone marrow now make more red blood cells, kick 00:16:21.14\00:16:27.55 up the hemoglobin so we can get more oxygen. But I mean 00:16:27.58\00:16:32.22 that's... But how is it that the 00:16:32.25\00:16:35.22 hemoglobin has raised to 10 and she's been here now and after 00:16:35.26\00:16:40.90 the second blood draw it is increased. Did she receive 00:16:40.93\00:16:44.00 injections. No but she forgot to tell us 00:16:44.03\00:16:48.10 that she was hemorrhaging. And that was the greatest thing, 00:16:48.14\00:16:53.41 that was the thing that just lifted my spirits because when 00:16:53.48\00:16:57.85 we got the first one they sent us the alert, you know, this is 00:16:57.88\00:17:02.08 too low. So then what I thought of that, Oh no. Now here's 00:17:02.15\00:17:05.82 somebody whose kidneys have failed enough she's going to 00:17:05.85\00:17:09.16 have to be on these injections at 85 years of age, you know, 00:17:09.19\00:17:12.83 who's going to pay for the injections and all this stuff. 00:17:12.86\00:17:16.46 So I was so thrilled because when she stopped the 00:17:16.50\00:17:20.54 hemorrhaging then within a little bit over a week the 00:17:20.60\00:17:24.57 hemoglobin came up to a gram- and-a-half more. She was in the 00:17:24.61\00:17:29.31 10s and so that was great. You know I was just like ho good and 00:17:29.34\00:17:33.98 that left a load off of me. 00:17:34.02\00:17:36.69 Now what about the heart? The heart has gotten better and 00:17:36.75\00:17:40.39 there's evidence of that. 00:17:40.42\00:17:41.92 Yeah, she was having trouble because trying to go down to the 00:17:41.96\00:17:45.89 clinic, you know, they had to help her down to the clinic. 00:17:45.93\00:17:51.37 And then she's one of these go getters. She's, like they 00:17:51.43\00:17:56.81 say, a self-made person. She's done a lot of things in her life 00:17:56.84\00:18:00.88 but she would try to get back up from the clinic and it's quite 00:18:00.91\00:18:06.25 an uphill climb. And so I would walk with her and I'd say now 00:18:06.31\00:18:11.49 Lucy use your walker and go along. You don't have to sit in 00:18:11.52\00:18:16.69 it you don't have to stand 00:18:16.73\00:18:18.89 there and puff to try to get your oxygen level back up again, 00:18:18.93\00:18:23.53 but just go slower so that on the next to the last visit, I 00:18:23.57\00:18:27.17 walked up with her. It was a beautiful, sunny day and she 00:18:27.24\00:18:31.04 would keep pushing on. I'd say no, no, no. So then what she 00:18:31.07\00:18:34.74 finally realized was let's just walk slowly and she walked all 00:18:34.78\00:18:38.65 the way from the clinic all the way up to the lodge and she 00:18:38.71\00:18:42.52 didn't have to stop. She's happy She knows this is the beginning 00:18:42.55\00:18:48.76 she's got to do this. There are two things that really help the 00:18:48.79\00:18:54.96 kidneys. One is is that the heart gets stronger. So her 00:18:55.00\00:18:59.43 heart when it's stronger it's going to pump better and so it's 00:18:59.47\00:19:03.97 going to have more pressure into the kidneys, more blood will go 00:19:04.01\00:19:08.44 into the kidneys and more blood will be filtered. The other 00:19:08.48\00:19:12.85 thing is, is that the plant based foods, the amino acids 00:19:12.88\00:19:17.35 the ratio of amino acids in plant based foods are the very 00:19:17.39\00:19:22.66 amino acids that the body needs to build good human albumin. 00:19:22.72\00:19:27.60 There's two factors here, two main factors. One is that within 00:19:27.63\00:19:32.50 three days her heart is pumping better. 00:19:32.53\00:19:34.64 Three days, wow! 00:19:34.67\00:19:37.37 Yeah we have people that pump a lot of water out of their legs 00:19:37.41\00:19:41.98 between Monday and Thursday. I think the record so far for a 00:19:42.01\00:19:46.51 week is 30 pounds of water pumped out. So anyway when the 00:19:46.55\00:19:50.82 heart is stronger then it can pump more blood through the 00:19:50.85\00:19:54.76 kidneys and then that makes the kidneys function better. The 00:19:54.79\00:19:58.96 other thing is the protein in the plant-based died is the very 00:19:58.99\00:20:03.37 protein, the amino acids, that the body needs and not the ones 00:20:03.40\00:20:07.74 that it doesn't need. So it's not such a big load on the 00:20:07.77\00:20:11.57 kidneys to try to get it all out. So those two main things 00:20:11.61\00:20:15.04 help and we have a lot of people that have never had to 00:20:15.08\00:20:18.48 go on dialysis. Well I'm so glad to hear that 00:20:18.51\00:20:20.18 she's doing better. What's the prognosis? What does she do 00:20:20.22\00:20:24.05 after she leaves here? 00:20:24.09\00:20:27.52 Well, she realizes she needs to stay on the diet and then... 00:20:27.56\00:20:32.33 See she was coughing, coughing, coughing because she also had 00:20:32.36\00:20:36.53 pneumonia when she came here. So she's got all these different 00:20:36.56\00:20:42.14 things. I saw her today and she's looking great compared to 00:20:42.17\00:20:46.51 then. I said, you were pretty sick when you came here. And she 00:20:46.57\00:20:50.88 said I was very sick. 00:20:50.91\00:20:52.78 I gave a lecture and you walked in last Sabbath and she coughed 00:20:52.81\00:20:58.19 most of the time. 00:20:58.22\00:21:02.32 Yeah, that was the last part of her pneumonia, yes. Yeah, we had 00:21:02.36\00:21:06.70 to put her on antibiotics too. 00:21:06.73\00:21:09.93 Well she looks better in any case and I will be following up 00:21:09.96\00:21:15.30 with her as I do with all guests that want us to follow up 00:21:15.34\00:21:20.64 and hopefully inspire her to continue on. 00:21:20.68\00:21:24.78 Yeah, well she feels strong enough now to be directive to 00:21:24.81\00:21:28.15 her children again so they're going to realize that she's 00:21:28.18\00:21:31.49 better and they want her to do well. 00:21:31.52\00:21:32.95 Now how'd she do on the second treadmill, did she do okay? 00:21:33.02\00:21:37.53 No she didn't do the treadmill. 00:21:37.56\00:21:39.46 Oh, she didn't do that. Okay. So how is it that you're aware 00:21:39.49\00:21:44.10 that the heart is doing a better job? 00:21:44.13\00:21:46.90 Well when she first came they had to bring her down to the 00:21:46.94\00:21:51.97 clinic to take her to her first appointment and then now she's 00:21:52.01\00:21:57.21 able to walk down and then on the way back she'd have to just 00:21:57.25\00:22:01.32 stop and walk a few steps and then stop and walk a few steps. 00:22:01.35\00:22:05.39 Now she's able to walk without any problems. 00:22:05.42\00:22:08.52 Yeah. She still uses her walker for her balance, yeah. 00:22:08.56\00:22:14.23 Okay, well that's good news. So any other problems that we 00:22:14.30\00:22:19.93 could talk about with regards to her? 00:22:19.97\00:22:22.77 No. The fact that she's going to tell you that she's doing better 00:22:22.80\00:22:26.84 Well I want to thank you once again. You're always so welcome 00:22:26.88\00:22:30.88 here and it's always great to see you and talk with you. 00:22:30.91\00:22:34.45 Friends thank you for joining us. We've got a message to 00:22:34.48\00:22:38.02 follow. Hold on there. Don't go away. 00:22:38.05\00:22:40.72 First deadly psychological sin is criticism. Criticism. I don't 00:22:40.76\00:22:48.93 know if you've borne the brunt of being raised in a critical 00:22:48.96\00:22:55.70 home but human beings are by nature negatively focused and 00:22:55.74\00:23:01.84 problem focused. In fact, research has shown that 75 per 00:23:01.88\00:23:06.51 cent of the interactions between teachers in elementary school 00:23:06.58\00:23:11.25 and their students is negative. Research has also shown that in 00:23:11.32\00:23:15.72 a child's lifetime from birth to 18 years old he hears the word 00:23:15.76\00:23:20.66 no from his parents 148,000 times. Bottom line of all this 00:23:20.70\00:23:25.37 is that positive interaction, and particularly affirmation 00:23:25.43\00:23:29.20 versus criticism is a learned skill. It's something we have to 00:23:29.24\00:23:33.24 do proactively and intentionally or we will revert back to our 00:23:33.27\00:23:37.18 critical patterns. The story is told of a young man who was 00:23:37.21\00:23:41.08 complaining about the hymns at church. He said they were very 00:23:41.12\00:23:44.35 boring. His father said well if you're going to complain about 00:23:44.39\00:23:47.26 it then write one of your own. The boy went into his bedroom 00:23:47.29\00:23:51.89 and he wrote the hymn When I Survey the Wondrous Cross. The 00:23:51.93\00:23:56.60 young man was Isaac Watts and he went on to write over 350 00:23:56.67\00:24:01.30 many of them famous hymns including Joy to the World. 00:24:01.34\00:24:03.54 So there's a place for criticism Criticism serves a function. We 00:24:03.57\00:24:07.91 by nature as human beings are capable of reason and what we 00:24:07.94\00:24:11.98 call critical thinking. All criticism is not bad but we need 00:24:12.01\00:24:15.82 to sort of capture this beast and train it so that it benefits 00:24:15.88\00:24:19.65 us and others. Scientific research has shown that people 00:24:19.69\00:24:24.33 that are raised in critical environments where there's much 00:24:24.39\00:24:29.00 criticism among the family of origin tend to have more 00:24:29.03\00:24:32.43 depression diagnoses and more depressive symptoms. In fact a 00:24:32.47\00:24:37.01 critical environment at home has been associated with a 00:24:37.04\00:24:40.41 broad spectrum of mental illnesses such as schizophrenia 00:24:40.44\00:24:44.15 and other psychotic disorders. I have a quote here from 00:24:44.18\00:24:47.88 Abraham Lincoln... 00:24:47.92\00:24:52.52 In order to find out if you have the heart to help that person I 00:24:52.55\00:24:56.42 recommend that you ask yourself three questions before 00:24:56.46\00:24:59.53 criticizing them. Number one: Do I love to criticize or do I hate 00:24:59.59\00:25:02.40 to criticize. If you love it I think you need to give yourself 00:25:02.43\00:25:06.97 pause there. Number two: Am I doing it to help? Is that my 00:25:07.00\00:25:11.54 motive? Number three: Will I do it kindly and will I do it to 00:25:11.57\00:25:17.01 that person's face? Beware of Cyber criticism. Cyber criticism 00:25:17.05\00:25:22.05 can easily turn into a form of cyber bullying. It's really best 00:25:22.08\00:25:26.09 when you're addressing sensitive topics to talk to that person 00:25:26.12\00:25:29.82 eyeball to eyeball so to speak. The replacement for criticism 00:25:29.86\00:25:34.16 I'm sure you're dying to know. Very simple. It's affirmation. 00:25:34.20\00:25:37.87 Learn to affirm people. This does not come naturally to us. 00:25:37.90\00:25:41.44 I recommend that if you're a critiholic, we might call it, 00:25:41.50\00:25:45.47 that you go on a criticism fast for two to three weeks where 00:25:45.51\00:25:49.44 you criticize nothing, no one, not even yourself, for three 00:25:49.48\00:25:54.22 weeks. I challenge you to try that. Then after than when you 00:25:54.25\00:25:58.69 issue a criticism always do it in affirmation sandwich style. 00:25:58.72\00:26:02.99 You affirm that person, then you issue the criticism and then you 00:26:03.02\00:26:07.30 follow it up with another affirmation. This helps to 00:26:07.33\00:26:10.37 soften the blow. Marriage expert John Godman says that in order 00:26:10.40\00:26:15.04 to neutralize the emotional impact of the criticism one must 00:26:15.10\00:26:19.74 affirm five times. So remember that ratio. Five affirmations 00:26:19.77\00:26:24.41 to one criticism. What is the effect of an affirming 00:26:24.45\00:26:28.82 environment in the home. We've talked about the effect of a 00:26:28.88\00:26:31.65 critical environment. What's the effect of an affirming 00:26:31.69\00:26:34.42 environment? Some research has shown that there's a positive 00:26:34.46\00:26:40.00 correlation between fatherly affirmation and high self- 00:26:40.03\00:26:44.83 esteem in girls. There's a negative correlation between 00:26:44.87\00:26:49.70 fatherly affirmation 00:26:49.74\00:26:51.27 and fear of intimacy. So in other words, if fathers affirm 00:26:52.87\00:26:55.98 their daughters, they're likely to feel good about themselves 00:26:56.01\00:26:59.28 and they're likely to be able to develop healthy relationships 00:26:59.31\00:27:02.85 Sounds like a good thing to do. Try starting today affirming 00:27:02.88\00:27:05.92 someone that you would normally criticize. And usually, I hate 00:27:05.95\00:27:08.69 to say it, but it's those that are closest to us that we tend 00:27:08.72\00:27:11.43 to be so critical of. But try turning that around and 00:27:11.46\00:27:15.83 intentionally proactively affirming that person. 00:27:15.86\00:27:18.50 They won't know what happened. 00:27:18.53\00:27:20.20 Well friends that's it for today but join us next week for 00:27:20.24\00:27:24.71 another episode. In the meantime pick up a phone and give us a 00:27:24.77\00:27:30.88 call at 800-525-9192. Mention the NEWSTART Now program and 00:27:30.91\00:27:37.02 receive the NEWSTART special. 00:27:37.05\00:27:39.05