Good morning,
church, local or distant.
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We're really
glad you're joining us
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for second church
today here at Pioneer.
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By the way, did you ever notice
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the inscription
over the front entrances,
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a house and
prayer for all people.
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That means everyone
can come here to pray.
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But there's something else.
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We come here to pray
for all peoples, right?
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Let us invite His presence.
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Father, thank You
for Your incredible love
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for the human family
and each of us as a member,
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and that You are inviting us
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to be members of
Your spiritual family.
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So as we are
together, we pray that
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Your Spirit would inspire
us with true worship today.
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Take us as we are and make us
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what You want us
to be and we thank You
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for Your incredible
love in Jesus' name.
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Amen.
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Blessings on everyone.
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How deep the
Father's love for us
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How vast beyond all measure
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That He should give His only Son
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To make a wretch His treasure
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How great the
pain of searing loss
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The Father turns His face away
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As wounds which
mar the Chosen One
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Bring many sons to glory
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Behold the Man upon a cross
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My sin upon His shoulders
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Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
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Call out among the scoffers
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It was my sin
that held Him there
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Until it was accomplished
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His dying breath
has brought me life
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I know that it is finished.
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I will not boast in anything,
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No gifts, no pow'r, no wisdom
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But I will boast in Jesus Christ
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His death and resurrection
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Why should I
gain from His reward?
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I cannot give an answer
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But this I know
with all my heart
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His wounds have paid my ransom
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Why should I
gain from His reward?
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I cannot give an answer
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But this I know
with all my heart
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His wounds have paid my ransom
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I was sinking deep in sin
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Far from the peaceful shore
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Very deeply stained within
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Sinking to rise no more
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But the Master of the sea
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Heard my despairing cry
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From the waters lifted me
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Now safe am I
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Love lifted me
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Love lifted me
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When nothing else could help
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Love lifted me
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Love lifted me
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Love lifted me
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When nothing else could help
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Love lifted me
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All my heart to Him I give
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Ever to Him I'll cling
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In His blessed presence live
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Ever His praises sing
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Love so mighty and so true
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Merits my soul's best songs
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Faithful loving service too
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To Him belongs
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Love lifted me
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Love lifted me
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When nothing else could help
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Love lifted me
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Love lifted me
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Love lifted me
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When nothing else could help
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Love lifted me
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I was a mess lost in my sin
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Your love has
lifted me from the pit
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Thank You God
Your love has lifted me
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Not by my strength
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But by your grace
Sin's not my master anymore
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Hallelujah!
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Your love has lifted me
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Souls in danger look above
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Jesus completely saves
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He will lift you by His love
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Out of the angry waves
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He's the Master of the sea
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Billows His will obey
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He your Savior wants to be
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Be saved today
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Love lifted me
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Love lifted me
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When nothing else could help
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Love lifted me
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Love lifted me
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Love lifted me
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When I thought
my sin was too much
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When I say I'm not good enough
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When I think it
won't be restored
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Jesus will lift Me
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When nothing else could help
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Love lifted me
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Our scripture reading for today
00:09:07.38\00:09:09.08
comes from Ephesians 5:31-33.
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And it says,
"For this reason a man
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will leave his father and mother
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and be united to his wife,
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and the two will
become one flesh.
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This is a profound mystery,
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but I'm talking about
Christ and to the church.
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However each one of you
also must love your wife
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as he loves himself,
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and the wife must
respect her husband."
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Oh to see the dawn
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Of the darkest day
00:10:10.37\00:10:14.84
Christ on the road to
00:10:14.88\00:10:19.51
Calvary
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Tried by sinful men
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Torn and beaten then
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Nailed to a cross of
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Wood
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This the pow'r
00:10:42.17\00:10:46.71
Of the cross
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Christ
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became sin for us
00:10:56.28\00:11:00.66
Took the blame
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Bore the wrath
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We stand forgiven
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At the cross
00:11:11.57\00:11:15.87
Oh to see the pain
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Written on Your face
00:11:23.08\00:11:27.82
Bearing the awesome
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weight of sin
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Ev'ry bitter thought
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Ev'ry evil deed
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Crowning Your blood
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Stained brow
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Now the daylight flees
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Now the ground beneath
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Quakes as its Maker
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Bows His head
00:12:10.33\00:12:14.56
Curtain torn in two
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Dead are raised to life
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Finished the vict'ry cry
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This the pow'r
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Of the cross
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Christ became
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Sin for us
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Took the blame
00:12:50.10\00:12:54.77
Bore the wrath
00:12:54.80\00:12:57.17
We stand forgiven
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We stand forgiven
00:13:01.58\00:13:06.21
We stand forgiven
00:13:06.25\00:13:10.92
We stand
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We stand forgiven
00:13:15.32\00:13:19.89
We stand forgiven
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We stand forgiven
00:13:24.33\00:13:28.90
We stand
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Oh to see my name
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Written in the wounds
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For through Your suffering
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I am free
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Death is crushed to death
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Life is mine to live
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Won through
00:14:07.31\00:14:09.61
Your selfless love
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This the pow'r
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Of the cross
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Son of God
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Slain for us
00:14:28.50\00:14:32.93
What a love
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What a cost
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We stand forgiven at the cross
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Let's pray.
00:18:51.59\00:18:53.09
Oh, God, we've
come to the cross.
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Our praise team has led us here.
00:18:57.27\00:19:01.07
It is at the foot of
Calvary, we're ready.
00:19:01.10\00:19:05.51
What is it you have to say,
00:19:05.54\00:19:07.61
Oh, God, hide my voice
and all the other noises
00:19:07.64\00:19:11.71
and have full access
to every thinking mind
00:19:11.75\00:19:15.28
and worshiping heart.
00:19:15.32\00:19:16.89
We pray together
in the name of Jesus.
00:19:16.92\00:19:19.89
Amen.
00:19:19.92\00:19:22.79
So here's a question for you.
00:19:22.82\00:19:24.23
How long should a marriage last?
00:19:24.26\00:19:29.40
What I mean is
when you turn a marriage
00:19:29.43\00:19:30.80
upside down and you
see best buy before,
00:19:30.83\00:19:33.13
what's the date on it?
00:19:33.17\00:19:36.00
What kind of shelf
life does a marriage have?
00:19:36.04\00:19:39.57
I'm going to share
with you two stories.
00:19:39.61\00:19:41.44
And then I'm going to ask
you to answer the question.
00:19:41.48\00:19:44.31
How long should a marriage last?
00:19:44.35\00:19:47.75
Story number one.
00:19:47.78\00:19:49.32
Boy, here's a
love story for you.
00:19:49.35\00:19:50.72
It started when she
was 13 and he was 18.
00:19:50.75\00:19:53.52
But it lasted
until the age of 99.
00:19:53.56\00:19:57.63
Wow. He died
just a few weeks ago.
00:19:57.66\00:20:00.46
Who you're talking about?
00:20:00.50\00:20:01.83
Let me put them on
the screen for you.
00:20:01.86\00:20:03.20
Come on.
00:20:03.23\00:20:04.57
You know who this is.
00:20:04.60\00:20:05.93
This is Queen Elizabeth II,
00:20:05.97\00:20:08.10
the monarch of
the British Empire,
00:20:08.14\00:20:11.17
so to speak.
00:20:11.21\00:20:12.74
And this is her knight in
shining armor, her prince,
00:20:12.77\00:20:16.64
Prince Philip,
Duke of Edinburgh.
00:20:16.68\00:20:20.45
Royal watchers say that
they weren't real comfortable
00:20:20.48\00:20:24.09
with the public role they had,
00:20:24.12\00:20:25.69
they were private
about displays of affection.
00:20:25.72\00:20:27.96
But the same royal
watchers tell us that
00:20:27.99\00:20:30.93
they were very
happy in their marriage.
00:20:30.96\00:20:34.33
In fact, their marriage,
get this, lasted 73 years,
00:20:34.36\00:20:39.47
the longest
marriage in the history
00:20:39.50\00:20:41.97
of the British
monarchy, 73 years.
00:20:42.00\00:20:46.91
And when Prince
Philip died a few weeks ago,
00:20:46.94\00:20:49.14
the Queen, Queen Elizabeth
00:20:49.18\00:20:51.55
on the royal
family's Instagram page
00:20:51.58\00:20:53.82
released this statement.
00:20:53.85\00:20:57.35
Speaking of her
prince, her life companion.
00:20:57.39\00:21:01.12
"He has, quite simply,
00:21:01.16\00:21:03.32
been my strength and
stay all these years,
00:21:03.36\00:21:08.43
and I and his whole family
00:21:08.46\00:21:11.43
and this and
many other countries,
00:21:11.47\00:21:13.07
owe him a debt greater than
00:21:13.10\00:21:14.70
he would ever claim,
or we shall ever know."
00:21:14.74\00:21:20.04
That is profound and beautiful.
00:21:20.08\00:21:24.01
And they lived
happily ever after,
00:21:24.05\00:21:25.88
stories written in England
00:21:25.91\00:21:27.25
end with that line, don't they?
00:21:27.28\00:21:30.82
We come to think of it.
00:21:30.85\00:21:32.19
That love stories,
00:21:32.22\00:21:33.56
a story of every
marriage on this planet
00:21:33.59\00:21:35.02
because if you're
the child of the king
00:21:35.06\00:21:36.93
and if you marry someone,
00:21:36.96\00:21:38.69
the princess is
marrying a prince
00:21:38.73\00:21:40.16
if you're the child
of a king, of course.
00:21:40.20\00:21:45.03
And they lived
happily ever after
00:21:45.07\00:21:46.94
until death do us part.
00:21:46.97\00:21:50.57
Wow.
00:21:50.61\00:21:52.47
That story number one,
here comes story number two.
00:21:52.51\00:21:56.91
I found this note tucked
under my windshield wiper.
00:21:56.95\00:21:59.01
The services are over,
00:21:59.05\00:22:00.38
I'm going out to my
car to go home for dinner
00:22:00.42\00:22:02.42
on a Sabbath afternoon.
00:22:02.45\00:22:04.29
And here's the note.
00:22:04.32\00:22:06.25
Thank you for your sermon
00:22:06.29\00:22:08.16
on how to choose the
right partner in marriage.
00:22:08.19\00:22:11.43
My husband and I will be
in divorce court on Monday.
00:22:11.46\00:22:15.66
I had an affair two years ago.
00:22:15.70\00:22:18.57
And it seems we have
never been able to get over it.
00:22:18.60\00:22:23.74
And they lived
happily ever after?
00:22:23.77\00:22:26.91
Apparently not.
00:22:26.94\00:22:30.01
So I asked you the question
now after these two stories,
00:22:30.05\00:22:33.55
how long is a
marriage supposed to last?
00:22:33.58\00:22:38.65
Maybe we ought to ask Jesus.
00:22:38.69\00:22:42.89
Let's go to what the singers
00:22:42.92\00:22:44.26
were just singing
about a moment ago.
00:22:44.29\00:22:45.63
Open your Bible to
the Gospel of Luke.
00:22:45.66\00:22:47.50
The Gospel of Luke Chapter 23.
00:22:47.53\00:22:49.20
The words aren't
going to be on the screen.
00:22:49.23\00:22:50.60
So you're going to follow along
with your device or your Bible.
00:22:50.63\00:22:53.00
Please, Luke Chapter 23.
00:22:53.03\00:22:54.64
Let's go to Calvary.
00:22:54.67\00:22:56.91
Let's go to the
cross for a moment.
00:22:56.94\00:22:59.27
We've got a
question to ask Jesus,
00:22:59.31\00:23:01.34
and we need His help.
00:23:01.38\00:23:04.15
Let's drop down in Luke 23:26,
00:23:04.18\00:23:06.51
"And as the
soldiers led Jesus away,
00:23:06.55\00:23:08.68
they seized Simon from Cyrene,
00:23:08.72\00:23:11.49
who was on his way
in from the country,
00:23:11.52\00:23:13.15
and they put the cross on him
00:23:13.19\00:23:14.82
and they made him
carry it behind Jesus."
00:23:14.86\00:23:18.33
Verse 27, "And a large
number of people followed him,
00:23:18.36\00:23:21.30
including women who
mourned and wailed for him.
00:23:21.33\00:23:24.53
Jesus turned and said to
them, 'Daughters of Jerusalem,
00:23:24.57\00:23:27.87
do not weep for me,
00:23:27.90\00:23:29.24
weep for yourselves
and for your children.
00:23:29.27\00:23:31.11
For the time will
come when you will say,
00:23:31.14\00:23:33.31
'Blessed are
the childless women,
00:23:33.34\00:23:35.31
the wombs that never bore
00:23:35.34\00:23:36.98
and the breasts
that never nursed!'
00:23:37.01\00:23:39.01
Then they will say to
the mountains, 'Fall on us!'
00:23:39.05\00:23:41.48
and to the hills, 'Cover us!'
00:23:41.52\00:23:43.22
For, listen, if
people do these things
00:23:43.25\00:23:45.49
when the tree is green,
what will happen when it's dry?
00:23:45.52\00:23:51.19
Verse 32, "Two other men,
00:23:51.23\00:23:53.56
both criminals, were
also led out with him
00:23:53.60\00:23:56.70
to be executed.
00:23:56.73\00:23:58.53
And when they came to
the place called the Skull,
00:23:58.57\00:24:01.44
they crucified him there,
00:24:01.47\00:24:02.80
along with the
criminals, one on his right,
00:24:02.84\00:24:04.71
the other on his left.
00:24:04.74\00:24:06.07
And Jesus said,
'Father, forgive them,
00:24:06.11\00:24:10.41
for they do not know
what they are doing.'
00:24:10.45\00:24:13.75
And they divided up his
clothes by casting lots.'"
00:24:13.78\00:24:17.82
Let's isolate that line.
00:24:17.85\00:24:19.85
That prayer that
Jesus just prayed,
00:24:19.89\00:24:22.32
"Father, forgive them,
00:24:22.36\00:24:24.43
for they do not know
what they are doing."
00:24:24.46\00:24:30.43
Now, I don't mean to
be disrespectful, Lord,
00:24:30.47\00:24:33.07
but you got to
understand that there is,
00:24:33.10\00:24:36.47
that is some
gutsy prayer to pray.
00:24:36.50\00:24:38.67
I mean, please excuse me.
00:24:38.71\00:24:41.24
I know this is a very
difficult moment for you.
00:24:41.28\00:24:44.58
But what is this
business of saying,
00:24:44.61\00:24:46.75
for they don't know
what they are doing?
00:24:46.78\00:24:48.65
Are you kidding?
00:24:48.68\00:24:50.02
This is an egregious
assault on your dignity.
00:24:50.05\00:24:52.89
They have just
broken You in public
00:24:52.92\00:24:57.03
and they don't
know what they're doing.
00:24:57.06\00:24:59.63
Your commitment to humanity,
00:24:59.66\00:25:01.56
Your covenant of relentless love
00:25:01.60\00:25:03.57
just ground under the
boot of that Roman heel.
00:25:03.60\00:25:08.80
My Lord, Father, forgive them.
00:25:08.84\00:25:12.67
Father, forgive them,
00:25:17.25\00:25:21.02
for they do not know
00:25:21.05\00:25:23.32
what they are doing.
00:25:23.35\00:25:26.65
What's all this has
to do with marriage?
00:25:26.69\00:25:30.86
If marriage is a covenant
between a man and a woman,
00:25:30.89\00:25:32.73
between a prince and a princess,
00:25:32.76\00:25:35.53
I like the profound way
00:25:35.56\00:25:36.90
Timothy Keller has
defined that covenant.
00:25:36.93\00:25:39.97
This is good.
00:25:40.00\00:25:41.34
I put it on the screen for you.
00:25:41.37\00:25:42.70
"The essence of marriage
is that it is a covenant,
00:25:42.74\00:25:45.87
a commitment, a promise of,"
00:25:45.91\00:25:48.91
what's this word right here?
00:25:48.94\00:25:50.91
"Future love."
00:25:50.95\00:25:52.81
It doesn't read a
promise of present love
00:25:52.85\00:25:54.45
because that's what everybody
does well at a wedding.
00:25:54.48\00:25:56.18
Everybody is heady
and high on present love.
00:25:56.22\00:25:59.09
Man, we got love
oozing out the doors here
00:25:59.12\00:26:01.02
whenever we have a
wedding in this sacred space.
00:26:01.06\00:26:04.13
That's not what
marriage is a promise of.
00:26:04.16\00:26:06.03
It's a promise of future love.
00:26:06.06\00:26:08.83
A love you cannot see yet.
00:26:08.86\00:26:11.67
A love you cannot know yet.
00:26:11.70\00:26:14.14
A love like the love
Steven Curtis Chapman in that
00:26:14.17\00:26:16.64
wonderful song of
his, I will be here.
00:26:16.67\00:26:20.64
Did you hear that song?
00:26:20.68\00:26:22.01
That's a beautiful song.
00:26:22.04\00:26:23.38
We had him sing it,
00:26:23.41\00:26:24.75
some friends of ours sang it
00:26:24.78\00:26:26.11
at our daughter's
wedding right here.
00:26:26.15\00:26:27.48
I will be here. Oh, I
got the words right here.
00:26:27.52\00:26:30.72
Tomorrow morning if you wake up
00:26:30.75\00:26:32.59
and the sun
does not appear, I...
00:26:32.62\00:26:36.59
How's it go?
00:26:36.62\00:26:38.09
I will be here.
00:26:38.13\00:26:39.76
If in the dark we
lose sight of love,
00:26:39.79\00:26:42.10
hold my hand and have no fear
00:26:42.13\00:26:44.70
'cause I, I will be here.
00:26:44.73\00:26:49.74
You know, we just sang.
00:26:49.77\00:26:51.17
We're singing about future love.
00:26:51.21\00:26:54.38
I will be here.
00:26:54.41\00:26:56.75
Tomorrow morning
00:26:56.78\00:26:58.11
if you wake up and
the future is unclear,
00:26:58.15\00:27:02.28
I, I will be here.
00:27:02.32\00:27:06.19
As sure as seasons
are made for change,
00:27:06.22\00:27:08.99
our lifetimes
are made for years,
00:27:09.02\00:27:11.66
so I, I will be here.
00:27:11.69\00:27:16.87
Yeah, that's as my favorite
part coming up right here.
00:27:16.90\00:27:18.67
I will be here, you
can cry on my shoulder.
00:27:18.70\00:27:22.47
Here it comes.
00:27:22.50\00:27:23.84
When the mirror
tells us we're older.
00:27:23.87\00:27:26.47
What's up with those mirrors?
00:27:26.51\00:27:29.44
Where do you get
mirrors like this
00:27:29.48\00:27:30.81
that tell you're older?
00:27:30.85\00:27:32.45
Come on, leave me alone mirror.
00:27:32.48\00:27:34.52
I'm still young.
00:27:34.55\00:27:35.95
I'm not older now. Look at her.
00:27:35.98\00:27:39.09
She's not older either.
00:27:39.12\00:27:43.16
I love this line.
00:27:43.19\00:27:44.59
When the mirror tells us
we're older, I will hold you.
00:27:44.63\00:27:47.86
This is a
promise of future love.
00:27:47.90\00:27:49.83
I will hold you girl,
00:27:49.86\00:27:51.20
I don't care what you look like.
00:27:51.23\00:27:52.57
I don't care what I look like.
00:27:52.60\00:27:53.94
I hope you feel
the same way about me.
00:27:53.97\00:27:56.54
I will hold you,
00:27:56.57\00:27:57.91
and I will be here to
watch you grow in beauty
00:27:57.94\00:27:59.87
because women grow in
beauty the older they get,
00:27:59.91\00:28:02.88
I'm just telling you.
00:28:02.91\00:28:07.72
And tell you all the things
you are to me, I will be here.
00:28:07.75\00:28:12.59
And then I will be
true to the promises
00:28:12.62\00:28:14.86
I have made to you
00:28:14.89\00:28:16.22
and the one who gave
you to me, I will be here.
00:28:16.26\00:28:20.36
I love that because
00:28:20.40\00:28:21.73
that is a beautiful illustration
00:28:21.76\00:28:23.70
of the promise of future love.
00:28:23.73\00:28:28.64
Now the deal is,
and we remember this
00:28:28.67\00:28:32.67
somewhere along
the way as the months
00:28:32.71\00:28:34.34
and the years roll by,
the very nature of a covenant
00:28:34.38\00:28:37.38
has embedded
within it the possibility.
00:28:37.41\00:28:39.65
I did not say the probability,
the word is the possibility
00:28:39.68\00:28:44.52
that the covenant may can become
00:28:44.55\00:28:46.35
the covenant broken, right?
00:28:46.39\00:28:49.76
Marriage is a
promise of future love.
00:28:49.79\00:28:53.56
But here's the deal.
00:28:53.60\00:28:56.30
And I hope you
never forget this.
00:28:56.33\00:28:57.67
The truth is,
marriage can survive anything
00:28:57.70\00:29:03.61
except that
which is not forgiven.
00:29:03.64\00:29:08.21
I'm gonna leave that
hanging in front of your eye
00:29:08.24\00:29:10.21
so that you just brood
on that for a few moments.
00:29:10.25\00:29:12.48
Marriage can
survive anything except that
00:29:12.51\00:29:15.02
which is not forgiven.
00:29:15.05\00:29:17.72
Marriage can survive
cancer, I got good news for you.
00:29:17.75\00:29:21.32
They really can.
00:29:21.36\00:29:22.69
Marriage can survive children.
00:29:22.72\00:29:27.30
Marriage can survive bankruptcy.
00:29:27.33\00:29:30.67
Marriage can
survive loss of employment.
00:29:30.70\00:29:33.34
Marriage can
survive loss of love,
00:29:33.37\00:29:35.27
loss of affection, loss of sex.
00:29:35.30\00:29:37.41
Marriage can
even survive divorce.
00:29:37.44\00:29:39.97
I have seen marriages come
up out of the dust of the grave
00:29:40.01\00:29:43.78
to be restored, resurrected.
00:29:43.81\00:29:47.98
Marriage can survive anything
00:29:48.02\00:29:50.89
except that
which is not forgiven.
00:29:50.92\00:29:54.92
Wow!
00:29:54.96\00:29:58.29
Marriage can
survive an awful lot.
00:29:58.33\00:30:00.93
Come to think of it.
00:30:00.96\00:30:02.63
The only way to
extend that forgiveness
00:30:02.66\00:30:06.10
there on the
screen is to intercede
00:30:06.13\00:30:08.10
before God Himself
00:30:08.14\00:30:09.47
with the words of Jesus Himself.
00:30:09.50\00:30:11.17
Father, forgive
her, Father, forgive him.
00:30:11.21\00:30:13.74
He didn't know,
00:30:13.78\00:30:15.11
she didn't know
what she was doing.
00:30:15.14\00:30:17.81
I'm telling you,
that's a gutsy prayer,
00:30:17.85\00:30:20.28
no matter who prays it.
00:30:20.32\00:30:24.72
Marriage can
survive anything except that
00:30:24.75\00:30:28.32
which is not forgiven.
00:30:28.36\00:30:30.03
Well, that was
the truth at Calvary.
00:30:30.06\00:30:32.26
Jesus goes through
hell on that cross.
00:30:32.29\00:30:36.56
He could not have
survived it without that prayer,
00:30:36.60\00:30:41.94
the heinous way, the
brutal way He is treated
00:30:41.97\00:30:46.17
by the people He
has come to save,
00:30:46.21\00:30:48.08
the broken relationships
with His disciples.
00:30:48.11\00:30:50.38
Every covenant in the world,
00:30:50.41\00:30:52.15
in the book has
been broken, broken.
00:30:52.18\00:30:54.45
And yeah, He prays,
"Father, forgive them,
00:30:54.48\00:30:59.15
they do not know
what they are doing."
00:30:59.19\00:31:01.32
That's the only way
Calvary has any meaning at all
00:31:01.36\00:31:05.29
is that radical
prayer for forgiveness.
00:31:05.33\00:31:09.86
Jesus' covenant to
save the human race.
00:31:09.90\00:31:14.10
All we like
sheep have gone astray,
00:31:14.14\00:31:15.87
we have turned
every one to his own way,
00:31:15.90\00:31:17.97
and the Lord has laid on
him the iniquity of us all.
00:31:18.01\00:31:20.48
There's nobody here that
00:31:20.51\00:31:23.31
isn't not in desperate need
00:31:23.35\00:31:25.18
of that
forgiveness Jesus offers,
00:31:25.21\00:31:27.48
nobody here.
00:31:27.52\00:31:31.25
It's the same for
our marriages by the way.
00:31:31.29\00:31:34.16
Somebody has to
pray this crimson,
00:31:34.19\00:31:35.86
somebody has to pray
00:31:35.89\00:31:37.23
this crushing
prayer of forgiveness
00:31:37.26\00:31:38.69
if that marriage is
going to be saved in the end.
00:31:38.73\00:31:41.13
And, of course, that
somebody has to be that
00:31:41.16\00:31:42.86
somebody that got wronged.
00:31:42.90\00:31:44.70
Let's just be honest.
00:31:44.73\00:31:46.10
Yep.
00:31:46.13\00:31:47.77
And oh, how we know it,
00:31:47.80\00:31:49.14
nobody is
perfect in any marriage,
00:31:49.17\00:31:50.54
not yours or mine.
00:31:50.57\00:31:51.91
We all wrong each other.
00:31:51.94\00:31:53.61
But we agree, some wrongs are so
00:31:53.64\00:31:56.75
as I said a
moment ago egregious,
00:31:56.78\00:31:58.75
so serious, they come
close to striking a deathblow
00:31:58.78\00:32:01.92
to that marriage covenant.
00:32:01.95\00:32:03.52
I get it. I understand.
00:32:03.55\00:32:05.62
When I conduct a wedding,
00:32:10.19\00:32:12.36
I asked these
starry eyed young nuptials,
00:32:12.39\00:32:15.26
would you like to write
the vows for your wedding.
00:32:15.30\00:32:20.44
And most often they say,
"Sure, be happy to do it."
00:32:20.47\00:32:23.14
But then I say,
"Yo, yo, I insist.
00:32:23.17\00:32:27.68
I am also going to
read vows of my own."
00:32:27.71\00:32:31.41
You know why?
00:32:31.45\00:32:32.78
Because in the blush
00:32:32.81\00:32:34.15
and rush of
preparing for the wedding,
00:32:34.18\00:32:36.99
these vows
sometimes get thrown together
00:32:37.02\00:32:39.19
rather quickly.
00:32:39.22\00:32:40.56
And there's a whole
lot left out in those vows.
00:32:40.59\00:32:42.16
And they're not promising,
00:32:42.19\00:32:43.53
they're not
pledging everything new.
00:32:43.56\00:32:45.59
So I said, "I'm
having my own vows."
00:32:45.63\00:32:48.86
And some of you are gonna
stand in front of a preacher
00:32:48.90\00:32:50.93
one of these days,
perhaps sooner than you think.
00:32:50.97\00:32:54.14
And that
preacher is going to move,
00:32:54.17\00:32:55.54
she will move, he
will move into vows
00:32:55.57\00:32:57.71
that are similar to
00:32:57.74\00:32:59.07
what I'm going to put
on the screen right now.
00:32:59.11\00:33:00.44
In fact, when I
do this at a wedding,
00:33:00.48\00:33:02.14
and I ask the young
couple to turn to each other
00:33:02.18\00:33:04.15
and gaze into each other's eyes.
00:33:04.18\00:33:07.32
That's always a
beautiful moment.
00:33:07.35\00:33:11.62
And I say, "Now,
I'm gonna need you
00:33:11.65\00:33:12.99
to listen very carefully.
00:33:13.02\00:33:15.02
And I'm gonna ask you
to respond at the end."
00:33:15.06\00:33:16.93
And when I do that, by
the way, before I do the vows,
00:33:16.96\00:33:20.20
I ask all who are
married in the little audience,
00:33:20.23\00:33:24.23
a little congregation
has gathered to celebrate
00:33:24.27\00:33:26.07
this wedding,
all who are married,
00:33:26.10\00:33:27.47
if you're married to the
person sitting beside you,
00:33:27.50\00:33:29.94
hold her hand,
hold his hand right now
00:33:29.97\00:33:32.84
and renew your vows.
00:33:32.87\00:33:34.48
If you're not married
to them, don't touch them,
00:33:34.51\00:33:36.41
do not touch them.
00:33:36.44\00:33:38.15
Not during the vows,
we could be in trouble.
00:33:38.18\00:33:42.05
All right, so here's the vows.
00:33:42.08\00:33:43.49
There may be
some variation on this
00:33:43.52\00:33:44.95
in the wedding that
you have planned coming up.
00:33:44.99\00:33:49.22
Marriage vows, here it goes,
00:33:49.26\00:33:50.63
"And now solemnly
promising before God,
00:33:50.66\00:33:53.16
and in the
presence of these witnesses,
00:33:53.19\00:33:55.20
I will in tone, will
you, the groom's full name,
00:33:55.23\00:33:59.87
have this woman,
the bride's full name,
00:33:59.90\00:34:02.34
to be your wedded
wife to live together
00:34:02.37\00:34:05.07
after God's ordinance
00:34:05.11\00:34:06.44
in the sacred
estate of matrimony?
00:34:06.47\00:34:08.61
Will you love her?
00:34:08.64\00:34:10.15
Will you comfort her?
00:34:10.18\00:34:11.58
Will you honor her?
00:34:11.61\00:34:12.95
Will you cherish her
in sickness and in health,
00:34:12.98\00:34:15.32
in prosperity or adversity?
00:34:15.35\00:34:17.72
And forsaking all other,
00:34:17.75\00:34:19.49
keep yourself only unto her
so long as you both shall live?
00:34:19.52\00:34:24.09
Do you so declare?"
00:34:24.13\00:34:26.56
Now, I tell the groom,
memorize your response.
00:34:26.59\00:34:30.10
It's only two
words long, no pause.
00:34:30.13\00:34:35.44
No thinking.
00:34:35.47\00:34:37.37
Just say I do.
00:34:37.41\00:34:39.57
Go through that
00:34:39.61\00:34:40.94
same identical
script for the bride.
00:34:40.98\00:34:44.95
What's going on here?
00:34:44.98\00:34:47.05
I don't know maybe the vows
00:34:47.08\00:34:50.65
ought to have a line in
there keeping that said,
00:34:50.69\00:34:52.62
you know, keeping
yourself only unto him
00:34:52.65\00:34:54.79
even when he
has not kept himself
00:34:54.82\00:34:56.86
only unto you so long
as you both shall live.
00:34:56.89\00:35:01.50
Maybe there needs to
be inside that covenant
00:35:01.53\00:35:03.73
that you have
pledged your lives to.
00:35:03.77\00:35:06.60
Maybe there needs to be
00:35:06.63\00:35:07.97
some sort of
potential forgiveness
00:35:08.00\00:35:09.37
in the event the
covenant of marriage
00:35:09.40\00:35:10.81
is broken by the other.
00:35:10.84\00:35:12.47
I wonder how
many people would be
00:35:12.51\00:35:13.88
rushing into marriage then?
00:35:13.91\00:35:15.24
Can God heal a triangle?
00:35:19.58\00:35:24.05
So what are you
talking about, Dwight?
00:35:24.09\00:35:25.99
Well, you know, a triangle.
00:35:26.02\00:35:27.82
I'll put a triangle
on the screen for you.
00:35:27.86\00:35:32.26
What's that triangle about?
00:35:32.29\00:35:33.63
Well, you got a husband
here, you got a wife here,
00:35:33.66\00:35:37.40
and you got Jesus right there.
00:35:37.43\00:35:39.73
Had a young couple
in my office this week.
00:35:39.77\00:35:41.60
They're getting ready
to get married in June.
00:35:41.64\00:35:43.71
And I say, listen,
00:35:43.74\00:35:45.07
one plus one
plus one equals one.
00:35:45.11\00:35:48.61
That's God's
arithmetic with marriage.
00:35:48.64\00:35:50.88
You become one flesh,
00:35:50.91\00:35:52.68
with Christ and with each other.
00:35:52.71\00:35:55.92
Can God heal a triangle?
00:35:55.95\00:35:57.29
Dwight, there's
nothing to heal there.
00:35:57.32\00:35:59.15
Well, let me just...
00:35:59.19\00:36:00.52
Let me just adapt this triangle.
00:36:00.56\00:36:03.59
We'll put another
human being in that triangle.
00:36:03.63\00:36:08.80
Can God heal a triangle?
00:36:08.83\00:36:12.50
Who's that another?
I don't know who it is.
00:36:12.53\00:36:15.70
I don't need to know.
00:36:15.74\00:36:18.77
But if there is a third
person in your relationship,
00:36:18.81\00:36:23.18
you created an
untenable triangle.
00:36:23.21\00:36:27.15
Can God heal that triangle?
00:36:27.18\00:36:32.25
Can He?
00:36:32.29\00:36:34.42
Dr. Evelyn Miller
Berger, she observed...
00:36:34.46\00:36:38.76
Oh, this is pretty punchy.
00:36:38.79\00:36:40.40
But I'm going to put it
on the screen for you anyway.
00:36:40.43\00:36:42.70
Evelyn Miller Berger,
00:36:42.73\00:36:44.80
"I have yet to know
of a marriage threatened
00:36:44.83\00:36:48.00
with the
intrusion of a third party
00:36:48.04\00:36:50.44
where each partner
had not contributed
00:36:50.47\00:36:53.27
to the triangle."
00:36:53.31\00:36:56.68
Nobody's innocent.
00:36:56.71\00:36:58.31
Can God heal a triangle?
00:37:03.69\00:37:05.35
Read the prayer again.
00:37:16.20\00:37:18.10
Luke 23:34,
"Father, forgive them,
00:37:18.13\00:37:24.07
for they do not know
what they are doing."
00:37:24.11\00:37:29.18
Did you know that
Paul takes this moment
00:37:29.21\00:37:31.75
with Jesus on the cross
that we just sang about.
00:37:31.78\00:37:35.45
And he drives home
00:37:35.48\00:37:37.85
the promise of
marriage to be made whole
00:37:37.89\00:37:40.59
in a beautiful, beautiful way.
00:37:40.62\00:37:42.92
You got to see this.
I've never seen this before.
00:37:42.96\00:37:46.43
What Jesus just
did on the cross,
00:37:46.46\00:37:48.03
this prayer Paul does,
00:37:48.06\00:37:50.30
I need you to
find in your Bible.
00:37:50.33\00:37:51.67
So it's Ephesians Chapter 5.
00:37:51.70\00:37:53.03
Sinegugu just
read it a moment ago.
00:37:53.07\00:37:54.40
Ephesians Chapter 5,
drop down to verse 25.
00:37:54.44\00:37:59.74
So this is Ephesians 5:25.
00:37:59.77\00:38:02.44
Here are the words,
"Husbands, love your wives,
00:38:02.48\00:38:06.31
just as Christ loved the church
00:38:06.35\00:38:09.28
and gave himself up for her."
00:38:09.32\00:38:13.86
Whoa, hit the
pause button right there.
00:38:13.89\00:38:16.22
When Jesus went to the
cross, the people of God,
00:38:16.26\00:38:18.86
okay, the church had broken
00:38:18.89\00:38:22.60
every covenant in the book.
00:38:22.63\00:38:24.73
All right, we're
talking about the disciples,
00:38:24.77\00:38:26.10
they have broken their
relationship with them,
00:38:26.13\00:38:28.30
even His closest and
yet He gives Himself up
00:38:28.34\00:38:31.47
for that group of people.
00:38:31.51\00:38:33.01
He gives Himself
up for the church
00:38:33.04\00:38:34.88
that has spit in
His face as it were.
00:38:34.91\00:38:40.12
Paul seizes that
agape self sacrificing love.
00:38:40.15\00:38:43.99
And Paul points at the husband
00:38:44.02\00:38:45.82
and he says, yo,
sir, I'm talking to you.
00:38:45.85\00:38:49.52
I want you to love her that way,
00:38:49.56\00:38:53.63
the way Jesus
loved you in the church.
00:38:53.66\00:38:57.80
Now we live in
an egalitarian age,
00:38:57.83\00:38:59.43
I understand that.
00:38:59.47\00:39:00.80
And wife, I'm willing to
put you into the equation.
00:39:00.84\00:39:02.80
But here's the deal,
00:39:02.84\00:39:04.17
somebody has to
make the first move.
00:39:04.21\00:39:07.61
And husband,
you're that somebody,
00:39:07.64\00:39:12.11
you have to make the first,
00:39:12.15\00:39:13.48
somebody is going to
have to take the initiative.
00:39:13.52\00:39:15.62
Somebody is going
to have to back down
00:39:15.65\00:39:17.22
from that argument that is
00:39:17.25\00:39:18.59
escalating into World War III.
00:39:18.62\00:39:21.06
Somebody is
going to have to say,
00:39:21.09\00:39:22.56
I'm sorry for
letting it go this far.
00:39:22.59\00:39:24.43
Somebody is
going to have to say,
00:39:24.46\00:39:26.36
will you forgive me?
00:39:26.39\00:39:27.73
Somebody is called husband.
00:39:27.76\00:39:33.37
Paul is unequivocal.
00:39:33.40\00:39:36.10
I don't care what
the rules are in society,
00:39:36.14\00:39:39.17
you are doing it.
00:39:39.21\00:39:42.64
Whoa.
00:39:42.68\00:39:44.28
There's no caveat here.
00:39:44.31\00:39:46.82
There's no exception
clause. There's no precondition.
00:39:46.85\00:39:49.48
There's no prenuptial agreement.
00:39:49.52\00:39:51.65
There's nothing here
but you will do it, sir.
00:39:51.69\00:39:57.49
Whoa.
00:39:57.53\00:40:00.16
Just like Jesus'
self crucifying love,
00:40:00.20\00:40:03.83
but what's so
stunning, you got to see this.
00:40:03.87\00:40:05.60
What is so stunning is
that when you do love that way,
00:40:05.63\00:40:09.70
and you can't get
the love inside of you,
00:40:09.74\00:40:11.24
it'll have to come
from outside of you,
00:40:11.27\00:40:12.61
so that's okay,
00:40:12.64\00:40:13.98
but doesn't have to
be original with you.
00:40:14.01\00:40:15.34
When Jesus love,
loves through you,
00:40:15.38\00:40:17.08
three profound
outcomes take place.
00:40:17.11\00:40:20.82
Watch this.
00:40:20.85\00:40:22.18
First, you're going to
see how it takes place.
00:40:22.22\00:40:23.55
These three
profound outcomes take place
00:40:23.59\00:40:25.02
with Christ in the church,
never going to take Jesus
00:40:25.05\00:40:27.36
out of the picture sort of,
00:40:27.39\00:40:28.72
and put the
husband in the picture
00:40:28.76\00:40:30.09
and see how the husband
00:40:30.13\00:40:31.46
can bring these
three profound outcomes
00:40:31.49\00:40:33.13
into the life of the
woman he is married to.
00:40:33.16\00:40:35.20
Watch this. Here we go.
00:40:35.23\00:40:36.56
So let's read verse 25 again.
00:40:36.60\00:40:39.60
"Husbands, love your wives,
00:40:39.63\00:40:41.60
just as Christ loved the church
and gave himself up for her."
00:40:41.64\00:40:44.81
Now I'm inserting
the numbers 1, 2, 3.
00:40:44.84\00:40:47.18
So you'll see them right here.
00:40:47.21\00:40:48.54
Number one, here's the outcome.
00:40:48.58\00:40:49.91
Number one, Christ
makes the church holy,
00:40:49.94\00:40:52.51
He makes her holy.
00:40:52.55\00:40:54.28
Number two, Christ cleanses her
00:40:54.32\00:40:56.62
by the washing with
water through the Word.
00:40:56.65\00:40:59.09
Number three, Christ
presents her to himself
00:40:59.12\00:41:02.29
as a radiant church
without stain or wrinkle,
00:41:02.32\00:41:05.79
or any other blemish,
but holy and blameless."
00:41:05.83\00:41:10.00
Mercy.
00:41:10.03\00:41:11.37
He's saying, Paul
is saying, listen, guy,
00:41:11.40\00:41:13.77
if you will love
your girl that way,
00:41:13.80\00:41:15.94
you will do the same for her.
00:41:15.97\00:41:18.17
Let's try it out.
00:41:18.21\00:41:19.54
Three profound outcomes.
00:41:19.57\00:41:21.38
Let's put them on the screen.
00:41:21.41\00:41:23.21
Outcome number one, you
will make her wholly yours.
00:41:23.24\00:41:27.52
That's the easiest way for us
to understand the word wholly.
00:41:27.55\00:41:29.78
You'll make her holiest.
00:41:29.82\00:41:31.82
Hey, girl, I'm all
yours, and you are all mine.
00:41:31.85\00:41:34.82
Is that clear?
00:41:34.86\00:41:36.19
I am wholly yours.
00:41:36.22\00:41:38.33
Mark Regnerus,
00:41:38.36\00:41:39.69
whose text we've
been tracking off and on
00:41:39.73\00:41:42.56
in this little
mini-series that ends right now.
00:41:42.60\00:41:45.47
He points out that
every marriage on this planet
00:41:45.50\00:41:50.67
shares these four,
00:41:50.71\00:41:52.04
doesn't matter if
you're atheist, Hindu,
00:41:52.07\00:41:53.41
Buddhist,
Christian, doesn't matter.
00:41:53.44\00:41:54.78
Every marriage on this planet
shares these four expectations.
00:41:54.81\00:41:57.75
I'm just going
to read them to you.
00:41:57.78\00:41:59.11
Expectation number one is
the expectation of totality.
00:41:59.15\00:42:03.08
I am all yours.
00:42:03.12\00:42:04.95
That's exactly what
Paul is talking about here
00:42:04.99\00:42:06.49
is the expectation of totality.
00:42:06.52\00:42:08.49
Expectation number two
00:42:08.52\00:42:10.73
is the
expectation of permanence.
00:42:10.76\00:42:13.06
Everybody goes into a marriage,
00:42:13.09\00:42:15.23
believing that this will
last the whole life long.
00:42:15.26\00:42:19.13
Nobody says, I need
it to last six months.
00:42:19.17\00:42:21.20
I need it to last five years.
00:42:21.24\00:42:22.57
No, everybody
goes in believing this
00:42:22.60\00:42:24.31
will last the whole lifelong.
00:42:24.34\00:42:26.88
So it's
totality, it's permanence.
00:42:26.91\00:42:29.18
Number three, children.
00:42:29.21\00:42:31.15
Everybody goes into
a marriage thinking,
00:42:31.18\00:42:32.51
you know, somewhere
along the way, girl,
00:42:32.55\00:42:33.88
we're gonna have kids.
00:42:33.92\00:42:35.48
Right?
00:42:35.52\00:42:36.85
That's just an expectation
in birthed with a new marriage.
00:42:36.89\00:42:40.82
And finally, number four,
everyone goes into a marriage
00:42:40.86\00:42:43.86
believing that there
will be sexual fidelity.
00:42:43.89\00:42:47.06
You will not play around on me
00:42:47.10\00:42:48.83
and I will not
play around on you.
00:42:48.86\00:42:50.63
You can be an atheist
00:42:50.67\00:42:52.00
and you require sexual fidelity.
00:42:52.03\00:42:53.77
That's not a God
thing. That is just human.
00:42:53.80\00:42:56.34
Of course, we got it from God.
00:42:56.37\00:42:59.14
Wow.
00:42:59.17\00:43:00.51
So Paul says,
00:43:00.54\00:43:01.88
there are three
powerful outcomes here as Jesus
00:43:01.91\00:43:03.41
with the church is
going to be with you
00:43:03.45\00:43:05.45
and your wife, you
will make her wholly yours.
00:43:05.48\00:43:07.02
Yeah.
00:43:07.05\00:43:08.38
But, Dwight, if she
doesn't want to be wholly mine?
00:43:08.42\00:43:10.49
Well, I suppose
that could happen.
00:43:10.52\00:43:12.62
It happened to
Hosea, the Prophet Hosea.
00:43:12.65\00:43:15.52
Now this is a
direct quote by the way,
00:43:15.56\00:43:17.16
Hosea 3:1, God says,
00:43:17.19\00:43:19.09
"Go show your love
to your wife again,
00:43:19.13\00:43:21.23
though she is loved by another."
00:43:21.26\00:43:23.00
There's a
triangle going on here.
00:43:23.03\00:43:24.87
But you go get that girl.
00:43:24.90\00:43:26.87
You go, show your love to her.
00:43:26.90\00:43:29.94
You win her back.
00:43:29.97\00:43:32.01
You're winning her back.
00:43:32.04\00:43:34.74
Three profound outcomes.
00:43:34.78\00:43:36.34
Profound outcome number two,
you will make her purely yours.
00:43:36.38\00:43:40.25
I don't care what her past is.
00:43:40.28\00:43:41.62
It might be a few weeks old,
00:43:41.65\00:43:42.98
her past might
be a few months old,
00:43:43.02\00:43:44.55
her past may be years old now.
00:43:44.59\00:43:48.12
But you have washed it.
00:43:48.16\00:43:50.19
You have washed it.
00:43:50.23\00:43:52.33
And she stands
pure before you now.
00:43:52.36\00:43:55.26
Thanks to your commitment.
00:43:55.30\00:43:58.17
Three profound
and powerful outcomes.
00:43:58.20\00:44:00.44
You'll make her
wholly, you'll make her purely.
00:44:00.47\00:44:02.64
And I love this one.
00:44:02.67\00:44:04.01
You will make her
beautifully yours.
00:44:04.04\00:44:06.98
The most beautiful
creature on the planet
00:44:07.01\00:44:09.04
I am convinced is a bride.
00:44:09.08\00:44:13.21
There's nobody
prettier than a bride.
00:44:13.25\00:44:14.58
I don't care what culture
or land that you're from.
00:44:14.62\00:44:18.05
A bride is beautiful.
00:44:18.09\00:44:20.49
Husband, you're
gonna make her beautiful.
00:44:20.52\00:44:24.79
Oh!
00:44:24.83\00:44:27.13
Isn't that what
Jesus does to us?
00:44:27.16\00:44:29.36
I mean, doesn't
He treat us this way?
00:44:29.40\00:44:31.43
Come on, Steps of Christ.
00:44:31.47\00:44:32.80
This famous quotation, page 62,
"If you give yourself to Jesus,
00:44:32.83\00:44:36.44
and accept Him as your Savior,
00:44:36.47\00:44:38.41
then, sinful as
your life may have been,
00:44:38.44\00:44:41.24
that's the past,
00:44:41.28\00:44:42.61
for His sake you are
accounted righteous."
00:44:42.64\00:44:45.01
That's the present.
00:44:45.05\00:44:46.38
"Christ's character stands
in place of your character,
00:44:46.41\00:44:48.92
and you are accepted
00:44:48.95\00:44:50.29
before God just as
if you had not sinned."
00:44:50.32\00:44:53.42
The past is gone.
00:44:53.46\00:44:55.52
That's what the gospel does.
00:44:55.56\00:44:56.89
The past is gone.
00:44:56.93\00:44:59.13
And that's the only way
00:44:59.16\00:45:00.50
some marriages
will ever survive.
00:45:00.53\00:45:02.10
No, I take that back.
00:45:02.13\00:45:03.47
That's the only way any marriage
00:45:03.50\00:45:05.60
will ever survive
00:45:05.63\00:45:07.07
is if the past is gone.
00:45:07.10\00:45:10.04
You willing to treat
your spouse that way,
00:45:13.48\00:45:16.04
just as if you had not sinned?
00:45:16.08\00:45:19.81
That's pretty heavy.
00:45:19.85\00:45:21.48
Just as if you had not sinned.
00:45:21.52\00:45:26.15
Wow.
00:45:26.19\00:45:29.62
That's the only
way it can happen,
00:45:29.66\00:45:30.99
it's through forgiveness.
00:45:31.03\00:45:32.36
I'm telling
you, we are forgiven,
00:45:32.39\00:45:33.73
that song, I mean,
00:45:33.76\00:45:35.10
that's the only way we survived.
00:45:35.13\00:45:37.47
How did that note read that
was under my windshield wiper?
00:45:37.50\00:45:39.37
Let me read it again.
00:45:39.40\00:45:40.74
Thank you for your sermon
00:45:40.77\00:45:42.10
on how to choose the
right partner in marriage.
00:45:42.14\00:45:44.21
My husband and I will be
in divorce court on Monday.
00:45:44.24\00:45:46.98
I had an affair two years ago,
and it seems we have never been
00:45:47.01\00:45:50.71
able to get over it.
00:45:50.75\00:45:53.72
I cannot speak to that marriage.
00:45:53.75\00:45:56.75
But I can speak
to your marriage,
00:45:56.79\00:45:59.59
and I can speak to my marriage.
00:45:59.62\00:46:01.32
A marriage cannot
survive what is not forgiven.
00:46:06.93\00:46:12.93
And that's by the
way, you're single
00:46:12.97\00:46:14.30
and you're not
planning to ever get married.
00:46:14.34\00:46:16.04
That's okay.
00:46:16.07\00:46:18.47
Jesus never got married.
00:46:18.51\00:46:20.88
But it's just as true for
any relationship you have,
00:46:20.91\00:46:23.45
any relationship you're
in, if you cannot forgive,
00:46:23.48\00:46:26.18
if you cannot forgive,
00:46:26.21\00:46:31.19
that relationship is over.
00:46:31.22\00:46:32.55
Lewis Smedes,
00:46:32.59\00:46:33.92
the great New Testament
ethicist and theologian.
00:46:33.96\00:46:36.83
The most creative power,
this is dynamite by the way.
00:46:36.86\00:46:39.59
"The most creative power
given to the human spirit
00:46:39.63\00:46:42.50
is the power to heal the wounds
of a past it cannot change.
00:46:42.53\00:46:48.47
I want to hang that in front
of your eyes for a few moments.
00:46:48.50\00:46:50.81
You can't change the past.
00:46:50.84\00:46:52.54
You cannot change the past.
00:46:52.57\00:46:54.34
The only thing that
you have power to do
00:46:54.38\00:46:56.98
is forgive the past.
00:46:57.01\00:46:59.18
That's it.
00:46:59.21\00:47:00.98
If you say no, I'm
not gonna forgive it.
00:47:01.02\00:47:03.05
Okay, you'll be broken too.
00:47:03.08\00:47:06.35
Some people say
"Well, I'm not gonna forgive
00:47:06.39\00:47:07.72
and I'm gonna
have a nice new start."
00:47:07.76\00:47:09.09
Nope, you won't have
a new nice new start.
00:47:09.12\00:47:11.99
If you can't forgive,
00:47:12.03\00:47:13.66
don't you ever
get married again?
00:47:13.70\00:47:16.97
Why?
00:47:17.00\00:47:18.33
Because you're
gonna do the same thing.
00:47:18.37\00:47:20.17
You see, we have
these categories,
00:47:20.20\00:47:22.54
guilty and innocent.
00:47:22.57\00:47:24.84
We just found
out it in a triangle,
00:47:24.87\00:47:26.37
there's nobody innocent.
00:47:26.41\00:47:28.61
And that's the point.
00:47:28.64\00:47:30.21
We all need the
prayer of Calvary.
00:47:30.25\00:47:32.58
Father, forgive
him, forgive her.
00:47:32.61\00:47:34.45
She does not know
what she is doing.
00:47:34.48\00:47:37.32
Husband, wife, princess,
prince, follower of Christ,
00:47:37.35\00:47:40.52
your forgiveness
has the creative power
00:47:40.56\00:47:43.59
to heal the wounds
of a past you cannot.
00:47:43.63\00:47:47.66
You cannot change.
00:47:47.70\00:47:49.10
Father forgive them,
00:47:49.13\00:47:50.47
they did not know
what they were doing.
00:47:50.50\00:47:52.70
I'm gonna put one more sentence.
00:47:52.73\00:47:54.07
This is going to make you
feel a little bit squeamish now.
00:47:54.10\00:47:57.57
But I need to put it up
because it's the gospel truth.
00:47:57.61\00:48:00.64
All right.
00:48:00.68\00:48:03.04
Adultery is not so
much the grounds for divorce
00:48:03.08\00:48:06.82
as it is the
grounds for forgiveness.
00:48:06.85\00:48:10.99
I want you to
remember that sentence
00:48:11.02\00:48:12.35
and I want you to tell
it to a friend of yours.
00:48:12.39\00:48:15.22
There'll be a time
00:48:15.26\00:48:16.59
when a friend of yours
will need to hear that.
00:48:16.62\00:48:19.19
What are you saying, Dwight,
00:48:19.23\00:48:21.16
that I bound to this
abuser for the rest of my life.
00:48:21.20\00:48:26.07
No, I'm not saying that at all.
00:48:26.10\00:48:29.70
But all things being equal.
00:48:29.74\00:48:32.84
Adultery is not so
much the grounds for divorce
00:48:32.87\00:48:37.45
as it is the
grounds for forgiveness.
00:48:37.48\00:48:41.42
I mean, if Jesus
can't forgive us,
00:48:41.45\00:48:43.18
that is over.
00:48:43.22\00:48:45.49
It's over.
00:48:45.52\00:48:50.99
The most creative
power given to you
00:48:51.03\00:48:52.99
is the power to heal the wounds
of a past you cannot change.
00:48:53.03\00:48:57.00
You can run from it.
00:49:01.34\00:49:03.71
It'll be running
right behind you.
00:49:03.74\00:49:06.88
If you don't forgive
it, it will track you
00:49:06.91\00:49:09.54
for the rest of
your life, promise.
00:49:09.58\00:49:13.18
I want to share a quotation
in a story and I'm done.
00:49:17.49\00:49:20.16
First the
quotation, Desire of Ages,
00:49:20.19\00:49:21.79
this classic on
the life of Jesus
00:49:21.82\00:49:23.26
speaking of Father,
00:49:23.29\00:49:24.63
forgive them, they
don't know what they're doing.
00:49:24.66\00:49:26.73
"That prayer of Christ
00:49:26.76\00:49:28.53
for His enemies
embraced the world.
00:49:28.56\00:49:31.97
It took in every sinner
that had lived or should live
00:49:32.00\00:49:35.00
from the beginning of the
world to the end of time."
00:49:35.04\00:49:37.21
We're talking about
the pledge of future love.
00:49:37.24\00:49:39.37
Look at this.
00:49:39.41\00:49:40.74
It's taken in every sinner
00:49:40.78\00:49:42.11
that will ever live
until probation closes one day.
00:49:42.14\00:49:44.75
Every sinner is
covered by that prayer.
00:49:44.78\00:49:46.41
Keep reading, "Upon all of us
00:49:46.45\00:49:48.35
rest the guilt of
crucifying the Son of God.
00:49:48.38\00:49:50.69
To all of us,
forgiveness is freely offered."
00:49:50.72\00:49:54.56
There is no guilt,
guilty versus innocent now.
00:49:54.59\00:50:00.20
We're all culpable.
00:50:00.23\00:50:02.83
I understand it's not the same,
00:50:02.86\00:50:07.00
but we're all culpable.
00:50:07.04\00:50:10.77
To all of us,
forgiveness is freely offered.
00:50:10.81\00:50:16.51
Can I get a hallelujah to that?
00:50:16.54\00:50:18.98
To all of us,
forgiveness is freely offered.
00:50:19.01\00:50:21.88
J. Allan Petersen in his
marvelous book on marriage,
00:50:29.36\00:50:33.33
he is a marriage counselor.
00:50:33.36\00:50:34.96
The title of the book,
the Myth of the Greener Grass.
00:50:35.00\00:50:39.90
The title just
says a lot, doesn't it?
00:50:39.93\00:50:42.17
He tells a story,
and we end with a story.
00:50:42.20\00:50:45.74
Somebody wrote it up.
00:50:45.77\00:50:48.48
And here it is.
00:50:48.51\00:50:49.84
I was 20 and he was 26.
00:50:49.88\00:50:54.22
We've been married two
years and I hadn't dreamed
00:50:54.25\00:50:56.92
he could be unfaithful.
00:50:56.95\00:51:01.29
The awful truth
was brought home to me
00:51:01.32\00:51:03.02
when a young widow
from a neighboring farm
00:51:03.06\00:51:04.66
came to tell me
00:51:04.69\00:51:06.03
she was carrying
my husband's child.
00:51:06.06\00:51:09.30
My world collapsed.
00:51:09.33\00:51:12.07
I wanted to die.
00:51:12.10\00:51:14.07
I fought an urge
to kill her and him.
00:51:14.10\00:51:18.61
I knew that wasn't the answer.
00:51:18.64\00:51:20.68
I pray for strength
and guidance and it came.
00:51:20.71\00:51:23.95
I knew I had to
forgive this man and I did.
00:51:23.98\00:51:27.72
I forgave her too.
00:51:27.75\00:51:29.72
I calmly told my
husband, what I had learned.
00:51:29.75\00:51:33.22
And the three of us
worked out a solution together.
00:51:33.25\00:51:36.42
What a frightened
little creature she was.
00:51:36.46\00:51:39.16
The baby was born in my home.
00:51:39.19\00:51:41.63
Everyone thought
I had given birth
00:51:41.66\00:51:43.87
and that my
neighbor was helping me.
00:51:43.90\00:51:45.93
Actually it was
the other way around.
00:51:45.97\00:51:48.04
But the widow was
spared humiliation.
00:51:48.07\00:51:50.11
She had three other children,
00:51:50.14\00:51:51.57
and the little boy
was raised as my own.
00:51:51.61\00:51:54.68
He never knew the truth.
00:51:54.71\00:51:57.61
I have never mentioned
this incident to my husband.
00:51:57.65\00:52:01.72
It has been a closed chapter
in our lives for 50 years.
00:52:01.75\00:52:07.46
But I have read the love
and gratitude in his eyes
00:52:07.49\00:52:11.86
a thousand times.
00:52:11.89\00:52:13.73
Somewhere in the Bible,
the same one who prayed Father,
00:52:26.64\00:52:31.58
forgive them, they
don't know what they're doing,
00:52:31.61\00:52:35.15
spoke these words freely
00:52:35.18\00:52:36.99
you have received freely give.
00:52:37.02\00:52:43.29
If you have received
forgiveness from Him,
00:52:43.32\00:52:48.16
surely there is
forgiveness, enough forgiveness
00:52:48.20\00:52:53.07
in your heart for her,
00:52:53.10\00:52:57.54
for him, for them.
00:52:57.57\00:53:01.28
Somebody may
need to hear from you
00:53:06.95\00:53:13.36
sooner rather than later,
00:53:13.39\00:53:16.79
maybe even today.
00:53:16.83\00:53:20.43
Let's pray.
00:53:23.87\00:53:25.53
Oh God, wow...
00:53:25.57\00:53:31.17
At the foot of the cross
we hear our Lord's Prayer.
00:53:31.21\00:53:35.61
We understand cognitively
what Jesus is asking for.
00:53:35.64\00:53:41.02
But my Lord,
00:53:42.52\00:53:45.12
how are you
going to operationalize
00:53:45.15\00:53:46.76
that now in my marriage?
00:53:46.79\00:53:53.09
Lord Jesus, only
the power of Your prayer
00:53:53.13\00:53:58.77
and forgiveness can save
00:53:58.80\00:54:00.77
some marriages right now.
00:54:00.80\00:54:04.01
But it is not too late
00:54:04.04\00:54:05.74
to unleash
Calvary's self crucifying love
00:54:05.77\00:54:08.61
in his heart in her heart
00:54:08.64\00:54:10.65
and recreate that
marriage and restore that love
00:54:10.68\00:54:14.42
as only You can do
00:54:14.45\00:54:17.85
for Your glory and namesake.
00:54:17.89\00:54:24.26
Amen.
00:54:24.29\00:54:28.00
I want you to sit back
and listen as our Sinegugu
00:54:28.03\00:54:31.63
and our team
sing a beautiful song,
00:54:31.67\00:54:36.30
happy the home
where God is there.
00:54:36.34\00:54:38.74
I want you to
think of these words
00:54:38.77\00:54:41.08
as they sing right now.
00:54:41.11\00:54:42.81
Happy the home when God is there
00:55:13.34\00:55:19.88
And love fills ev'ry breast
00:55:19.91\00:55:26.09
When one their wish
00:55:26.12\00:55:28.99
And one their prayer
00:55:29.02\00:55:32.66
And one their heav'nly rest
00:55:32.69\00:55:39.03
Happy the home where Jesus' name
00:55:39.07\00:55:45.77
Is sweet to ev'ry ear
00:55:45.81\00:55:52.28
Where children
early lisp His fame
00:55:52.31\00:55:58.79
And parents hold Him dear
00:55:58.82\00:56:05.66
Happy the home
where prayer is heard
00:56:05.69\00:56:12.50
And praise is known to rise
00:56:12.53\00:56:19.07
Where parents
love the sacred Word
00:56:19.11\00:56:25.78
And all its wisdom prize
00:56:25.81\00:56:32.75
Lord, let us in our homes agree
00:56:32.79\00:56:39.76
This blessed peace to gain
00:56:39.79\00:56:46.70
Unite our hearts in love to Thee
00:56:46.74\00:56:53.38
And love to all will reign
00:56:53.41\00:56:58.38
We've been really
blessed by the financial support
00:57:08.79\00:57:10.66
that comes from our viewers.
00:57:10.69\00:57:12.16
And we've made a
conscious decision
00:57:12.19\00:57:13.66
not to continually appeal to you
00:57:13.70\00:57:15.86
for that support.
00:57:15.90\00:57:17.37
The fact is, as everyone
in the industry will tell you,
00:57:17.40\00:57:19.97
we're needing to
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00:57:20.00\00:57:21.34
to our technology.
00:57:21.37\00:57:23.37
So if God has blessed you
00:57:23.41\00:57:24.81
and you'd like to further
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00:57:24.84\00:57:26.94
we invite you
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00:57:26.98\00:57:28.58
Not a single
penny of your donation
00:57:28.61\00:57:30.28
will go to me.
00:57:30.31\00:57:31.65
Every bit of your
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00:57:31.68\00:57:33.72
of blessing your
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00:57:33.75\00:57:36.18
You can donate on our website,
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new perceptions.tv
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00:57:37.69\00:57:40.76
You know, the
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00:57:40.79\00:57:43.49
Again that number is
877, the two words HIS-WILL.
00:57:43.53\00:57:47.43
And may the God
00:57:47.46\00:57:48.80
who has blessed you
continue to pour into your life,
00:57:48.83\00:57:50.97
the gifts of His
joy and His hope.
00:57:51.00\00:57:53.80
Thank you.
00:57:53.84\00:57:55.17
And I'm looking forward
to seeing you right here,
00:57:55.20\00:57:57.07
again, next time.
00:57:57.11\00:57:58.67