Participants:
Series Code: NOW
Program Code: NOW018035A
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00:15 This is 3ABN Now with John Malkiewycz.
00:21 Hello, and welcome to 3ABN Now. 00:23 Those who were watching on Wosu 00:25 and this is the first time, 00:26 I'm sure you're going to enjoy this program 00:29 and anyone else that's watching, 00:31 in fact, on the internet devices 00:33 that are available. 00:34 This is a special program and it's dealing 00:36 with parenting with the internet. 00:39 We live in an age that's changing very quickly. 00:42 And I was thinking back 00:43 how over the last 30 years of my life, 00:46 we come from the fax machine, then we got the internet. 00:49 And now we have devices that we can hold in our hand 00:52 and have access to everything anywhere in the world. 00:55 So today's program, 00:57 we're very happy to have Dr. Eddie Ramirez with us. 01:01 And he'll be talking on parenting with the internet. 01:03 That's correct. 01:05 Dr. Eddie is a research doctor 01:07 for the Weimar Institute and the Nedley Clinic. 01:10 Now the Nedley Clinic has to do with depression, is that right? 01:13 One that runs the depression program, 01:15 the residential and the community 01:17 version of it, yes, right. 01:18 And I'm wondering, having all the internet devices, 01:20 if he's having more patients, 01:22 that's something we can talk about. 01:23 That's right. 01:25 But before we get going, Dr. Eddie has chosen a text 01:29 from the Book of Kings. 01:30 It's actually the Chapter 22 01:32 and that's the last three verses 51 to 53. 01:35 And I'd like to read them to you. 01:37 I want you to listen carefully. 01:39 The Bible says, "Ahaziah the son of Ahab 01:43 began to reign over Israel 01:44 in Samaria the seventeenth year of Jehoshaphat king of Judah, 01:49 and reigned two years over Israel, 01:52 and he did evil in the sight of the Lord, 01:54 and walked in the way of his father, 01:56 and in the way of his mother, 01:58 and in the way of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, 02:01 who made Israel to sin: 02:03 For he served Baal, and worshipped him, 02:05 and provoked to anger the Lord God of Israel, 02:08 according to all that his father had done." 02:11 Now, that's an interesting text, Eddie, 02:13 because we're talking about parenting with the internet. 02:17 But you know, parents here had an influence upon someone. 02:20 Just tell us a little bit about these verses that I've read? 02:23 Yes, it says there that the way that the mother behave 02:27 and the way that the father behave 02:29 had an influence on that child. 02:33 So we need to be the example 02:36 that we want our children to be. 02:38 And that's why 02:40 the big responsibility of being a parent 02:42 as the children do what we do, 02:47 not sometimes do what we say 02:50 because sometimes there is a discordance 02:52 there between those two things. 02:54 I believe that because parents want their kids 02:56 to do things that are right, and I'm sure most parents 02:59 who are watching want their children, 03:01 but we have to show by example. 03:03 That's correct, and that's why 03:06 the personal responsibility of being a parent 03:09 starts before you become a parent, 03:11 before you get married, 03:12 that's the training that we're having. 03:16 We are building our character 03:18 and our character is going to have that influence 03:20 over our children. 03:21 You know, Eddie, I'm a little bit older than you 03:23 and I've got older children. 03:25 And I always look back and I think, 03:27 I realize now what I did wrong. 03:29 But we never told that when we were young, 03:31 but today, you have an opportunity 03:33 to learn something if you're a new parent, 03:37 or you have children that are middle age, 03:39 young children, you know, 10 years of age, 03:42 the internet is influencing them 03:44 in what they're doing today. 03:45 Thirty years ago, it wasn't like that. 03:47 It's hard to imagine that 03:49 we've come so far in our technology 03:52 that we now have to look seriously 03:54 and I know as a medical professional, 03:56 you want to know and particularly, 03:58 Eddie, I wants you to know what effect 04:00 it has upon your children and parenting? 04:02 And I have some experience from this, 04:05 even though I'm a medical doctor, 04:06 my undergraduate 04:08 before I studied medicine was computer science. 04:12 And I studied that 04:13 computer science back in the 90s. 04:16 And back then 04:18 we didn't have the internet that everybody's talking about. 04:21 In fact, I was one of those first users of the internet. 04:24 I would tell my friends, hey, they emailed this and that, 04:28 they're like, what are you talking about 04:29 you know, don't know what is that, 04:31 and before it became popular. 04:34 So I have been observing that 04:35 for a long time how it has changed, 04:40 and it has changed us as a result of that. 04:44 And that's the crucial when we want to talk about it, 04:46 how it's changing and affecting us 04:48 and our children. 04:49 That's right. 04:51 So in order to understand this effect 04:53 that it's having over us and the people around us, 04:58 we need to understand a little bit the target group. 05:01 And you know, sociologists have divided society 05:05 into different stages. 05:07 We have what is called the Generation X. 05:10 And the Generation X are those people 05:14 that were born back in 1965. 05:18 Sociologists puts the limit around 1977. 05:22 Those are the two limits of that Generation X. 05:26 So if you are born then, which is my case, 05:30 okay, I'm also Generation Xer. 05:32 And these people felt a little bit 05:37 that the attention was not on them. 05:40 Rather that they felt that 05:41 the attention was falling too much on the Baby Boomers. 05:45 And this were kind of in between, 05:47 it would be like 05:48 the middle child syndrome type of thing. 05:52 Some of these are technological savvy, 05:56 some of them are not dependent. 05:58 Many times the type of profession 06:00 you end up choosing and so forth. 06:02 And then the new generation 06:04 came in what is called the Generation Y, 06:08 and this one sociologist 06:10 classify somebody as Generation Y, 06:13 if they were born between 1977 06:16 and 1995. 06:19 Now, these ones are the children, 06:23 usually of the Baby Boomers after a World War II. 06:28 And these ones are more technologically savvy 06:33 as compared to the previous generation. 06:36 These were born with internet in their home. 06:39 There was usually 06:40 some of the first computers in the market. 06:43 They were probably at their home, 06:45 the first cell phones and you probably 06:47 experienced that with the cell phones. 06:50 Those monster machines back then, 06:53 and then the next generation is 06:59 what is called the Millennial, 07:01 and that one has to do with that 07:04 adult person that got his adulthood 07:08 at the, when he was around the year 2000. 07:12 And these Millennials are very tech savvy. 07:17 It looks like they have it in their genes. 07:20 They have never used a certain computer program, 07:25 they can sit down and start using it. 07:27 Yeah, I find that fascinating. 07:29 The brain has been programmed 07:34 in such a way that 07:35 they are able to interact very well 07:39 with computers and so forth. 07:42 And these people are the ones that really, 07:47 pretty much all of them, 07:48 especially in the Western world, 07:50 grew up with internet in their home. 07:53 For them life without internet has never been 07:57 It's hard to imagine. You're talking 20 years. 08:00 I think 20 years. 08:01 Yes, you and I grew up in when there was no internet, 08:05 you know, you had to consult the map, 08:07 you had to make the phone call and so forth. 08:09 Now today, you go online and do all these things. 08:12 And then you have the Generation Z, 08:18 or also called the Boomlets, 08:21 that's another term that they use for them. 08:23 That's a new one for me. Yes. 08:24 And that one is classified 08:26 anybody that was born after 1995 and above, 08:31 that would be considered one of this Generation Z. 08:36 And this is a population 08:38 that especially in the Western world, 08:42 has a lot of diversity. 08:45 Many children of the immigrants and so forth compose this. 08:51 And in fact, they tend to be 08:52 a very tolerant type of society 08:57 because they grew up 08:58 with a lot of diversity in front of them. 09:02 And we know that these people, 09:05 they are their previous ones 09:07 born were born with the internet, 09:09 these ones were born with the cell phone 09:11 in their hand. 09:14 And these ones, statistics say that 09:17 40% of Generation Z 09:21 are addicted to devices. 09:24 That's what they themselves say. 09:27 They have grown 09:30 so much to depend on these devices, 09:35 that studies show that when you remove those devices, 09:40 there is actually anxiety in them. 09:42 Yeah, they go through withdrawals. 09:44 They have to go literally to withdrawals, 09:47 compared to 30% of Millennials, 09:51 they're the ones that say that they're addicted, 09:54 so the ratio is much bigger with this Generation Z. 09:58 And this is what we do. 10:00 See in our depression program 10:01 when you come to our 10:03 10-day Depression Recovery program 10:05 in California and Weimar. 10:07 We have to take every single cell phone 10:11 of our guests that come there as patients. 10:15 And some of them think that is the worst... 10:20 Experience they can have. 10:21 Experience they have ever had in their life, you know, 10:25 how they dare to take away my cell phone. 10:29 Oh, but I have to do business and I have to call this 10:33 and that and we tell them, 10:35 it's okay, you're going to be fine. 10:37 Okay? You're going to be fine. 10:40 In fact, it's part of the therapy. 10:44 See, we want them to really rewire inside of their head, 10:49 start creating different patterns 10:51 and so forth. 10:53 In fact, we know that Generation Z 10:56 would rather do Instagram than Facebook, 11:01 which tells us the social connections 11:05 and these type of things. 11:08 Instagram is more of the showing off. 11:10 I've been here, I've been there and so forth for them, 11:15 and that's more the focus 11:18 than relationships and so forth. 11:21 And that's what happens. 11:22 As many of them grow 11:25 with many social networks 11:28 from the internet and so forth, 11:31 such as Facebook, their social skills, 11:36 many of them lack those social skills. 11:39 Yeah, I was going to say that, 11:41 Eddie, because there's this thing 11:42 called a virtual world. 11:45 And the internet creates a virtual world. 11:47 The actual ability to live and communicate 11:50 the social aspect is left aside. 11:53 So it makes a different world to live in. 11:55 And parents need to know that 11:56 and we need to be very careful 11:58 of what we allow our children to learn. 12:00 We have come to the place 12:02 in which we have a social reunion. 12:07 We have five, six people around, 12:11 and they are texting each other, 12:15 instead of using the good old skills of talking 12:20 and interacting, and so forth. 12:24 You know, Eddie, it reminds me of my son. 12:26 He's older. He's older too. 12:27 But it's interesting 12:29 when I want to communicate with someone 12:30 and I'm sure if I'm talking to someone out there, 12:33 I like to pick up the phone 12:34 and actually communicate with them. 12:37 But I'm amazed that they won't do that, 12:40 they have to send a message 12:42 and wait for the message and I'm thinking, 12:45 I don't know if this is the way we need to communicate. 12:48 To me talking gets it done instant. 12:51 It even takes a little bit of time 12:52 to get a response on a text message. 12:55 But talking is instant. 12:56 And I think that's the wonder of the ability to communicate 12:59 with language. 13:00 My brother, he joined us recently up there 13:06 in Northern California. 13:08 And he was telling me in his first day of job, 13:11 he was surprised that the person next to him 13:14 was sending him emails, instead of, you know, 13:18 just knock in the door and said, 13:20 "Excuse me, you know, 13:21 I want to talk to you about this or that." 13:22 They would rather do the email than interact as socially. 13:28 So that's why this is challenge number one. 13:33 We need to understand that 13:34 we're dealing with people that think different than us. 13:40 See, you and I would rather spend 13:42 some good time you know with flesh and blood, 13:45 and having a chat and so forth. 13:47 And these people, their thinking patterns, 13:51 the things that they like, it's different. 13:55 So that's why we need to take this into account 13:58 if we want to be good influence to them, 14:00 we have to understand a little bit 14:02 of their thinking and so forth. 14:05 And one of the things that this generations 14:08 are going to be using quite a bit 14:11 is the famous cell phone. 14:15 And I'm sure many of us 14:17 in our audience have seen the evolution 14:20 of this device, you know. 14:22 In the old days, it was just a cell phone 14:24 which used to be a dinosaur, 14:25 used to be a monster type of thing, 14:28 and then started to become smaller 14:30 and smaller and smaller, and then the screen 14:34 start to become bigger. 14:36 And then... 14:37 Now, in fact, they're carrying this thing 14:38 around like a computer near them. 14:41 And then the ability to process information 14:44 is much more than the first computer 14:50 that you have at home. 14:52 It is much more than 14:54 when they send the first man to the moon, 14:59 those computers that NASA put in there, 15:03 they are no competition against 15:06 what you have in your pocket 15:08 the power of processing that they have there. 15:11 Well, I can remember, Dr. Eddie, 15:12 when I began work in 1972 training 15:16 in engineering drafting, 15:18 the premises was eight or nine storeys high 15:21 and one half of the building 15:23 on one floor was totally with an IBM company. 15:26 This was the lightest, 15:28 and they had to run special air conditioning, 15:30 they had to, and all it did was virtually nothing 15:34 compared to what my phone can do today. 15:36 That's right. 15:37 And I mean, I grew up in that time 15:41 when we used to use 15:43 these cards they used to make holes. 15:46 That's the way that you used to store information in them. 15:50 And as storage and power 15:53 became more advanced and so forth, 15:57 that's what we have is actually quite amazing 16:00 what we have in our own pockets, 16:03 but see, here's comes the problem. 16:05 Because now we have everything there, 16:08 we have the map, and we have the library, 16:12 we have the telephone, 16:14 and we have our friends and the cameras, 16:18 everything in one place. 16:21 And see, the way that 16:22 we are wired in our brain is that 16:26 we have a natural curiosity, 16:31 and also, attentiveness towards things that are new, 16:36 and that are novel and so forth. 16:41 And that's what we find 16:44 in some of these things on our cell phone. 16:49 When you go for example 16:50 to that application such as Facebook, 16:54 here you have endless stories, interesting stories, 16:59 fascinating stories 17:00 and so forth that just captivate you. 17:05 And because we are wired to find that novelty, 17:11 we get addicted to this, you know, 17:15 it's just our desire in our brains to have this. 17:20 And this device providing 17:23 endless type of food 17:27 for that type, man, it is just a bomb. 17:31 You know what I think, Eddie, just imagine now, 17:33 this is what the parents, 17:35 the mom and dad have to keep to compete with, 17:38 to hold their attention of their children 17:40 if they're trying to tell them something serious. 17:42 I know where the child's mind is, 17:44 it wants to get back 17:45 to what it was doing on their little iPhone. 17:48 And, but seriously, it has a dramatic effect 17:51 on parents able to teach their children. 17:55 And there are these people in these offices. 17:58 They're actually not that far from where I am. 18:01 I am about two hours from the famous Silicon Valley. 18:05 You're driving there, you see all these big companies 18:08 that you see everywhere in the world. 18:10 That's exactly where they were built 18:12 and their headquarters. 18:14 And here, these companies, 18:16 they pay somebody to create content, 18:21 to create apps, to draw you, 18:25 to captivate you. 18:27 There are people engineering these things. 18:32 And here is, you know, endless supply of this things. 18:37 Man, that's why such an addictive thing. 18:40 We had a guest recently in our depression program. 18:45 This kid was a really bright kid in his high school, 18:50 you guys call it here high school also. 18:51 Yes, yeah. 18:53 He did fantastically well to the point 18:56 that he got a full scholarship 18:59 to the choice of university that he wanted. 19:04 So he chose one of those 19:06 Ivy League top in the world 19:09 type of university to go and study. 19:12 He was doing very good, 19:13 advancing in his subjects and so forth. 19:16 But suddenly, the parents start observing 19:21 that the scores of his 19:26 all the time bright kid 19:29 now started to tank down, 19:32 and they realized that 19:34 something was wrong with their kid. 19:37 This is not the kid that they knew having 19:40 all the time top scores and so forth. 19:43 So very worried about him, 19:45 they brought him to our depression program. 19:49 We get all the time people just like him. 19:53 And as we start analyzing the case, 19:56 and trying to understand some possible etiologies 19:59 of where the problem could come from, 20:03 that's exactly what we identify. 20:06 This kid had an addiction to the internet. 20:11 And see, it becomes an addiction 20:14 when the only thing that you are thinking is that. 20:20 Because you have no knowledge of the time 20:23 that is transpiring, you even forget to eat food. 20:26 I know 'cause I've seen it. It just takes over. 20:29 And it captivates your whole attention. 20:32 So that's super stimulus on the brain 20:37 was drawing him to the point that yes, 20:41 his life was unbalanced. 20:42 His homework was not being done. 20:44 His studies were not being completed and so forth. 20:49 And secondary to that, 20:50 his grades were just going down there. 20:54 So he comes, of course, it was a shock. 20:56 We know we have to take away his cell phone. 20:57 That's the number one step 20:59 as I mentioned to you, this is not negotiable. 21:01 Every single patient of us has to do that. 21:05 He went through some withdrawal, 21:07 you know, he would really feel anxious and so forth. 21:12 But here comes the good news. It didn't last forever. 21:15 And once he overcome 21:19 that valley that usually our guests go to, 21:22 now his brain power started to become much better, 21:27 his ability to focus, 21:29 his ability to use his time more wisely. 21:33 And when we had to come to the end of the program, 21:39 usually what we do, 21:42 we have a good talk with our patients, 21:46 so we can encourage them and tell them, 21:48 "Look, this is going to be the plan from now on. 21:50 This is going to be the plan." And what was the plan? 21:53 We're sorry, no more internet. 21:56 Now some people say, "Well, but doctor, 21:58 you know I miss my work and so forth." 22:00 Yes, when you're doing your work, 22:03 go ahead and use it. 22:05 But you need to substitute that for other things. 22:10 You know, get yourself into playing tennis 22:14 or golf or whatever it may be your desire, 22:19 try to find other activities 22:23 that can replace this. 22:27 So when they come, the device has control of them, 22:30 when they leave, 22:31 hopefully they have control of the device. 22:33 That's exactly the goal that we have. 22:36 So it's a training program, you know, 22:39 it's only 10 days, but in 10 days, 22:42 we're going to train you for success. 22:45 You're going to know 22:47 how to take those better choices, 22:49 how to start decreasing medication 22:51 and all these things 22:53 that need to happen in order for you 22:55 to continue functioning 100%. 22:58 You know, Eddie, I have a son who manages a goldmine site. 23:02 It's very interesting. 23:03 He was telling me that 23:06 the Millennials are the new workers 23:09 or the first wave of the Millennials 23:10 coming to work on a construction site 23:14 or a mine site where they physically now 23:17 have to work. 23:19 And it's interesting, 23:20 their ability to make decisions when things go wrong. 23:24 You see what happens on the internet, 23:26 when something goes wrong, 23:27 you can find a solution by clicking somewhere else. 23:30 But out there in the real world, 23:31 in real life, they do not know what to do. 23:35 So he said, he has to go to many courses, 23:38 to learn how to teach these young Millennials about 23:42 how to adjust their minds to deal with crisis 23:46 and accident or anything like that, 23:48 because they do not know how to deal with it. 23:50 So the impact is real. 23:53 It's very real, and it's very serious 23:55 because they can be a danger not only to themselves, 23:57 but to other workers. 23:59 So this new wave of Millennials 24:01 is a challenge to all these industries 24:03 that are out there taking on these young people. 24:05 It's very true. 24:06 And you know that's something special about 24:08 Weimar High School 24:10 that we have in Weimar runs on our very special model. 24:15 It's not your usual high school model. 24:17 Our kids in our high school at Weimar, half of the day, 24:23 they spend it in school, 24:25 but half of their days they use in their hands. 24:30 What a novel concept, isn't it? 24:32 Well, you know, the reality is the home, 24:34 parents should have been 24:35 teaching those their children how to work. 24:38 And that's the problem. Parents are not teaching. 24:40 They're saying, "It's not our responsibility, 24:42 you will have to train them." 24:44 It's interesting too. 24:45 Many of these companies now make the workers 24:48 leave their cell phones and their devices 24:51 before they go out on to the site. 24:53 That's right. 24:54 And see, there is a special training 25:00 that takes place when you are using your hands. 25:03 We teach them how to change the oil 25:06 and how to change the tire. 25:07 Even the girls learn these things, 25:08 you know is useful even for them. 25:10 They help with the garden. 25:12 They're using actively their hands. 25:15 And there was a very important report 25:17 that was done recently in the UK. 25:21 One of those expert groups was analyzing 25:24 how can they improve mental capacity 25:28 of young people? 25:30 And you know, what was their conclusion basically? 25:33 People need to use their hands 25:37 in a three-dimensional fashion. 25:39 Okay. 25:40 And by using your hands in a three-dimensional fashion, 25:45 you stimulate your frontal lobe. 25:48 See, there's something special 25:49 that happened to your attention span 25:53 when you are using your hands in real life. 25:56 For example, at home, in my home, 25:59 I don't even know have a wood heater. 26:02 Yet, one of my favorite things to do is to chop wood. 26:06 I just chop it just for fun. 26:08 In fact, I'm going to get a little bit sore 26:09 because having chopped up in your face, 26:12 you have some wood, invite me to cut it, 26:13 I'll be happy to go and help you. 26:15 But anyhow, as you are doing that, see, 26:21 you cannot be distracted mind empty 26:25 and cutting wood. 26:26 You're going to injure yourself. 26:27 That's right. 26:29 So when you're doing this type of activities, 26:32 your frontal lobe is very engaged, 26:35 your attention is very carefully 26:38 put in there because if not, 26:40 you can hurt yourself very badly. 26:43 So when we use things in three dimensional ways, 26:49 changing the oil, changing the tire, 26:51 working on the garden and so forth, 26:54 we're actually getting a benefit 26:57 and our mental potential 26:59 is actually increasing secondary to that. 27:03 And that's why it's part of the education. 27:06 It's not like oh, well, 27:07 you have a needs of paying your bill, 27:09 you need to work. 27:10 No, this is every single student in our campus 27:15 gets the blessing of work. 27:18 Everybody wins. 27:19 The student learns to use their hands, 27:23 the institution gets a blessing, 27:25 you know, of some of the work that the student is doing. 27:30 And the student 27:32 is planting those seeds for success later on. 27:36 It's interesting. 27:37 Most of our students 27:40 that choose to pursue a professional career, 27:44 such as doctor, dentistry, engineering and so forth, 27:49 we almost have 100% rate of acceptance. 27:53 They love our kids, you know, 27:56 because of that integrative approach that 27:59 we put to education, which is actually not our idea. 28:03 This actually comes from the inspired writings 28:07 how that counsel to have 28:10 our schools attached to places where kids 28:14 could use their hands. 28:16 Otherwise, we end up 28:18 having children with high IQs but low EQs. 28:23 And don't have the ability 28:24 to think through and work things out. 28:26 And it's an unbalanced type of thing. 28:29 And see, we know, 28:31 there's very interesting studies. 28:33 If you have your cell phone at arm's length, 28:38 you'll see my Twitter there in a minute. 28:41 You can find the study there on my Twitter. 28:43 If you have your cell phone at arm's length, 28:47 your intelligence decreases. 28:50 Now that's an interesting thing. 28:52 Because you know that 28:55 that cell phone can solve the problem. 29:00 Therefore you don't need to think... 29:03 You don't have to work it out. 29:04 Need to do the effort, that's correct. 29:06 And the intellect weakens as a result of that. 29:10 Fascinating. It is fascinating. 29:12 I got a case to put before my kids. 29:14 Yes. 29:16 So that's why one thing 29:20 I'm going to the practical side of things, 29:22 what to do, you know, 29:23 about my kids, one thing that you should do, 29:26 you need to remove all those constant alerts 29:32 that you're getting. 29:33 Those things are not good for you. 29:37 Having your attention been constantly 29:43 go to your cell phone 29:45 every time this thing vibrates 29:47 or makes a beep, that affects your intellect. 29:53 That's why it's best shut him down. 29:57 And then if you want to check okay once in an hour, 30:00 once in three hours, whatever you decide. 30:01 So you've got control of it. It hasn't got control of you. 30:03 Exactly. 30:05 You have the control when you are checking, okay? 30:11 In that way, our brains are not like the computers. 30:15 See, I'm a computer scientist also, 30:18 I understand microchips and so forth. 30:20 And microchips have the capacity 30:23 of doing something that is called multitasking. 30:27 You can be sending many computer processes 30:30 at the same time, 30:31 the microchip is able to divide that 30:35 into different cores 30:36 and take care of that at the same time. 30:39 Our brains do not have 30:42 that capacity as your microchip in your cell phone has. 30:46 When you are multitasking your brain, 30:52 instead of doing things more efficiently, 30:55 you're actually committing more errors, 30:58 it's taking you longer and so forth. 31:01 The way that God made our brain is for us 31:04 to tackle one thing at a time. 31:07 Exactly. 31:09 So by trying to think 31:10 I'm going to be reading the message 31:12 and finishing this and doing that, forget it. 31:15 Your productivity actually goes down. 31:18 One of the most rich man's in America, 31:21 Warren Buffett, 31:23 tremendous investor and so forth. 31:27 You can go online and find this article. 31:31 How he refuses to have a smart phone. 31:37 Even though he could afford 31:39 the latest of the versions of the cell phone, 31:43 he carries with him a flip phone. 31:46 Okay. So you talk. 31:48 So he would rather, you know, 31:51 use his mental capacity for that. 31:53 I'm not saying to do that. Okay. 31:55 It's up to you, you know, 31:56 but I'm just giving you that example 31:58 how he understands that by multitasking, 32:03 his attention so forth, 32:05 he can impair some of the decisions, 32:08 important investment decisions 32:10 that he needs to take all the time. 32:12 You know, it's interesting, because my son's, 32:16 he's older, but I also observed this. 32:19 The moment there is an alert on his phone, 32:22 he must attend to it immediately. 32:25 That's right. But it's interesting. 32:27 If my phone makes an alert, and I don't attend to it, 32:31 they come to tell me and I'm saying, 32:33 "Well, no, I don't need to address it right now." 32:37 That's right. 32:38 And so, I can leave it 32:39 and wait to a time when it's convenient. 32:42 And if it rings and I don't answer, 32:43 I said they will ring back. 32:45 If it's important, they will ring back. 32:47 Yeah, we need to differentiate 32:49 between something urgent and something important. 32:53 Yes, you know, maybe something important, 32:55 that something is waiting, but they can wait. 32:58 See, like this morning, I just briefly check 33:04 what's going on, you know, 33:06 I have things in office and research and things 33:08 that I need to take care of. 33:10 And there's some messages 33:12 there that I know I have to answer, 33:15 but I don't have to do it at that moment. 33:18 It wasn't the time to do my exercise, 33:20 it was the time to prepare myself and so forth. 33:24 I know that later on, 33:26 I can go ahead and take care of it, 33:30 the world is not going to end, you know, 33:32 if I don't take care of that at that moment. 33:35 So prioritize, you know, do that distinction, 33:40 things that are urgent from things 33:42 that are important. 33:45 You know, I think it's very important 33:47 that we get now onto. 33:48 There are many parents out there 33:50 who are starting a young family. 33:52 When should the parents 33:55 direct their children in relation 33:56 because now everyone 33:58 that's born from now on has that device, 34:00 right from the age of 12 months old or younger, 34:03 some of them I've seen have a device. 34:06 What do you see from a medical point of view 34:09 that is crucial for these young parents 34:11 to know about what this effect has upon their child? 34:15 That's right. 34:16 There was a published paper that was, 34:19 that came out recently in the scientific literature 34:23 in which they had their children 34:28 do their homework 34:31 with their cell phone with them, 34:34 and do their homework 34:36 with the cell phone in another room. 34:40 Guess what happened? 34:41 The ones that didn't have that constant interruption, 34:47 homework was done faster, 34:50 and homework was done more thoroughly. 34:53 So something especially for the small children, 34:58 as I get this very often, you know, 35:01 parents come and ask this question, 35:04 but you know, how can I control and so forth? 35:06 I tell them, what you need to do. 35:09 I've seen some parents also do this. 35:11 Some parents actually make 35:14 a written agreement with their children. 35:18 Okay, because they say, look, I'm the one that's paying this. 35:22 Okay? 35:23 So I should be, I should have a say 35:27 how we're going to be using this. 35:29 But you can even find some of these contracts. 35:31 You know, if you look for them, you can find them there, 35:34 in which you clearly spell out there, 35:37 you know, this is not going to be 35:38 used for pornography. 35:40 There's going to be times for usage of this. 35:43 This is a huge problem. 35:46 When you're using those devices, 35:49 specifically after sunset, 35:52 the blue light of those devices are actually 35:56 stimulating your brain, telling them that it's the day 36:00 and you're actually 36:03 decreasing the amount of melatonin 36:05 which is the hormone 36:07 that is going to repair your body at night 36:09 that is anti-cancerous, 36:11 that is going to help you maintain a young appearance 36:14 and so forth. 36:16 So they need to know that there are limits. 36:21 Some parents also I've seen, 36:24 they, the kid needs to give 36:28 the cell phone to their parent before they go to bed. 36:32 And in the morning, when they wake up 36:35 after the bed is made and so forth. 36:37 Okay, you may check and so forth, 36:42 to start to have some sort of structure, 36:47 some sort of direction, 36:51 because you need to understand 36:54 that the tremendous potential 36:57 and addictive ability 37:00 of these devices are going to draw them 37:03 and cause problems. 37:05 Another issue I see very commonly, 37:07 many parents seeing that 37:11 their child has attention deficit issues. 37:17 Recently we do an annual meeting in Weimar, 37:21 is called the EQ summit. 37:24 By the way, it's going to be very good this year. 37:26 If you're interested, you know, go to the website of EQ summit. 37:30 And in that EQ summit, we had recently 37:34 one of the pioneers of attention deficit disorder 37:40 in the whole world, 37:41 scholar from Harvard University. 37:43 Okay. 37:44 And then he was telling us how his hypothesis 37:49 basically can be boiled down 37:51 to the fact that what those brains need 37:56 is intense physical exercise 38:01 and he share a very interesting story 38:03 that I didn't know. 38:04 His said that Michael Phelps, 38:07 you know this tremendous Olympic swimmer, 38:11 he broke the record of so many medals, 38:13 Olympic medals. 38:15 He was diagnosed 38:16 with attention deficit disorder. 38:19 And he was counseled that 38:21 he needed to do intense physical exercise. 38:26 He happened to choose swimming, he enjoyed swimming, 38:30 and he started liking it so much. 38:32 Look at where he end up today, you know, 38:34 tremendous Olympian and so forth. 38:38 So those children 38:40 that have specially attention problems, 38:46 those children, number one, they need a lot of exercise. 38:50 Number two, they need a structure program. 38:54 They don't do good adapting to changes in the program. 38:59 So you need to have a very nicely structured 39:01 program throughout the day. 39:03 And number three, 39:05 those children don't do good with devices. 39:09 They already are impaired 39:11 in their ability to maintain attention span. 39:15 And by giving that competition 39:18 that is actually causing problems 39:21 secondary to competing attention. 39:24 They already have problems with that. 39:26 I spend a whole winter in a specialized program 39:31 that used to run in Tennessee. 39:33 Unfortunately, the person running it retired, 39:36 no longer runs. 39:37 But that program, most of those participants 39:41 were focusing on kids 39:43 with attention deficit disorder. 39:45 And I had the privilege of working with one of them. 39:50 And he came tremendously impaired, 39:54 he had gone into drugs, 39:55 he had become a street child, he left his home 39:59 and he was just roaming in the streets. 40:01 Then they brought him to that program. 40:04 He experienced a conversion experience there. 40:08 And later on he came to Weimar as a college student. 40:13 And I had the privilege of... 40:15 I teach the research class 40:18 there for the pre-medical students 40:21 and I had the privilege of teaching him. 40:25 And I had the privilege of taking him 40:28 to Harvard University, 40:31 to present some of the research 40:34 that we have done, it was accepted there 40:36 and they wanted to hear more about it. 40:40 Here is from being in the streets 40:44 to win in one of the top institutions 40:47 in the world. 40:48 This is what God can do when we come to Him. 40:53 And number five, 40:55 we have to have spirituality at home. 41:00 This is not the job of the pastor. 41:02 Yes, the pastor is going to preach us 41:04 and so forth, that's good. 41:05 But at home, that's when we are going to be 41:10 encouraging our kids to seek the Lord. 41:15 And the thing is that the children 41:19 have a fake detector, 41:22 you know, when they see something in the screen 41:24 that is fake, oh, they say, oh, 41:25 that's fake, you know, that's not a real. 41:27 Photoshop. That's Photoshop and so forth. 41:30 They something here that detects fake, 41:33 and that, they also they take the fakeness in our parenting. 41:39 If we are saying something, and we're not doing it, 41:43 oh, you know, you should pay your tithe 41:44 and he sees that 41:46 you're not paying your tithe, you know. 41:48 Or you should have a life of prayer 41:50 and when do they see you praying, 41:52 you know, you have your devotions. 41:55 Did they see that you every morning, 41:57 wake up and read your devotions? 42:00 Do we have a family altar at a home? 42:05 Spend time with God. 42:06 We spend time with God and put ourselves as a family 42:10 in at the feet of Jesus, 42:13 because I can tell you, man, 42:16 the demons are busy trying to caught 42:19 the attention not only of them, 42:21 but of us also, you know. 42:23 The temptations are growing exponentially, 42:27 and we don't live in an easy world. 42:31 You know, Eddie, when I think of the temptations 42:33 that are available, when you mentioned pornography, 42:37 you know, unless the parent of the children 42:41 take control of what they see that is available. 42:45 And it doesn't, you don't have to look for it, 42:47 it'll pop up. 42:49 And so, you know, 42:50 I just wanted to say to the parents 42:52 that it's crucial as Dr. Eddie is saying that 42:55 you take control of these devices 42:57 at an earliest age possible Because if you, 43:01 if we don't do that we're allowing our children 43:03 to be really like adults to decide 43:05 what is good and what is not. 43:07 They have access to it. 43:09 And therefore, it really is debilitating 43:12 in the child's growth and development. 43:14 So parents need to go back to the biblical role 43:17 that we've been told that 43:19 you are to be teachers and you are guardians 43:21 of their spirituality, their whole being, 43:24 their holistic being even in what they eat and do. 43:27 So, you know, that affects everything 43:29 in the frontal lobe in particular. 43:31 So, you know, I would like for you 43:33 to tell parents, you know, 43:35 who are watching, who have got children 43:37 two, three, four, five and six, 43:39 what would you recommend 43:41 for them in relation to all these, 43:44 particularly this internet, in the internet age 43:46 where the devices are available, 43:48 what would you say to them, Eddie? 43:49 You know, the America, 43:51 the American Academy of Pediatricians. 43:54 This is a secular institution. 43:58 It's not even, you know, spiritual or anything. 44:01 They recommend that 44:04 young children under the age of five 44:08 don't spend time with devices. 44:12 Those children shouldn't be playing with the tablet 44:16 or the cell phone and so forth. 44:19 I mean, is that perfect classifier, you know. 44:22 It is and also... 44:25 It also does a good job of mind, isn't it? 44:28 Yet it has a negative effect 44:33 in the development of the brain. 44:36 You can actually go to the TED Talks, 44:39 you know, this also, you know, 44:41 experts around the world give this lectures and so forth. 44:45 Go there and look for television 44:49 and an electronic devices on children. 44:54 Here they are the top experts in the world telling you, 44:59 children don't have anything to do 45:03 with these things, you know. 45:04 That's something you want to take note 45:05 of because that's very important. 45:07 They need to be spending time running around, 45:12 exploring nature and things around them, 45:16 using things with their hands 45:20 instead of focusing on those things. 45:23 There's an epidemic right now in Journal Nature, 45:26 one of the top journals in the world, 45:27 was describing this epidemic in Asia, 45:32 in which many children there, 45:35 their eyes have been affected secondary to this. 45:39 As they have been focusing their eyes constantly 45:44 on those devices, the shape of their eye changes 45:50 and you actually harm the eye long term. 45:53 Is that right? 45:54 I used to tell my children that they watching this thing, 45:57 their brain is going to go rectangular shape. 46:00 Not only that, some current research 46:04 you can also find they're on my Twitter, 46:07 very fascinating research coming up 46:09 saying how our constant exposure 46:12 to that blue light from cell phones and computers 46:17 are going to give us 46:18 a lot of blind people in the near future. 46:22 That's interesting. 46:23 See your eyes, God didn't design them for you 46:28 to focus in just in one point the whole day. 46:32 You're supposed to be looking around 46:34 and you know, 46:35 changing the focal and so forth. 46:37 But when you have it set in one particular focus, 46:42 plus that blue light that's why another good counsel 46:47 install a blue light filter in your device, 46:51 specially that needs to be active after sunset, 46:55 but also during the day. 46:58 Block just a little bit of that blue light 47:01 so that is not harming your eye, 47:02 especially if you have a job you know in which requires 47:05 you to be working in front of a computer. 47:08 You can Google apps like F-Locks. 47:11 Okay. 47:13 That will bring you about those apps 47:14 are free most of them 47:16 and you can install them and block those, 47:17 those blue lights. 47:20 Another thing, 47:21 we need to be real in our parenting. 47:24 And you know, we are imperfect, 47:27 we are sinners, we have mistakes that we make. 47:32 And we need to understand that 47:36 we also need that 47:38 constant refreshing from the Lord. 47:41 And those mistakes we are committing 47:44 and that are impairing our character 47:50 and our influence, 47:51 we have to recognize 47:53 and there are some times in which we need to come 47:57 before the family and confess, you know. 48:01 The kids are observing these things. 48:04 And as I told you, 48:05 your kid is going to do what they see, 48:08 not what they are hearing from you. 48:14 You know, I think of the fact that, you know, 48:16 you spending time with your children, 48:18 it's very easy in this society which we live. 48:21 Mom and dad are busy 48:22 to leave their children with these devices. 48:24 But how crucial is it for parents to spend time 48:27 with their children to counteract 48:28 the influence of the device? 48:29 And that's exactly the point I was going to make. 48:32 We need to spend time 48:35 with our children playing with them. 48:38 That is exactly 48:41 when we are going to have an influence over them. 48:46 See, if you don't have an influence on your children, 48:49 somebody else will have it. 48:53 And while that big responsibility 48:56 that we have, 48:58 we need to gain their confidence, 49:01 we need to be their best friends. 49:04 And we have to spend time with them, 49:07 you know, we have to plan activities. 49:10 We have to plan a social night once 49:14 or many times in a week and so forth. 49:17 It's important to both parents, it's not just a one parent, 49:20 it's important that both parents spend time 49:23 with their children, play with them. 49:24 That's right. 49:26 Because that's when you know, we have fun together. 49:29 That's when the bonds get created. 49:33 That's when we start really touching their heart 49:36 when they see that we care and we are nice to them. 49:39 That's the word, 49:40 that children see that as caring 49:42 and someone loving them. 49:44 It's what the saying says, 49:46 people don't care how much you know 49:50 until they know how much you care. 49:52 That's right. 49:53 Now I just have another question, Dr. Eddie, 49:56 and that is the children now at a very young age 50:00 are exposed to games and I relate to this 50:02 because I was in a waiting room. 50:04 And a mother came in with three children. 50:06 I doubt if the oldest was five maybe. 50:09 Then there was another one, 50:10 there was one who was battling to walk. 50:12 Now the young one was observing 50:14 the other two children 50:15 with these devices, playing games. 50:19 How, what affects the playing games 50:21 have on children? 50:23 Yes, the playing of the games. 50:25 Number one, there's a little bit 50:27 of addictive effect there. 50:29 But also, they start getting 50:32 into this virtual reality world 50:36 and that playing of the game, 50:39 some of them are actually violent games. 50:42 That's the reason why today some of those games 50:46 are even classified like the movies. 50:49 And I'm surprised that many parents don't know this, 50:51 you know, get yourself aware of this information 50:56 how some of these games 51:01 are actually for adults, 51:03 not because of sexual content, 51:05 some of them because of sexual content, 51:07 but some of them because of violence. 51:09 Here they are killing literal people 51:13 in front of them. 51:15 Their conscience gets seared. 51:17 Their ability to differentiate 51:21 between good and bad is being impaired. 51:25 Lots of them have witchcraft involved in them and so forth. 51:30 So no wonder why they're not interested 51:32 in reading the Bible and so forth, you know. 51:35 And I think back 51:36 to when the games first came out. 51:38 When I was younger, 51:40 they were always in a cartoon form. 51:42 But now the reality is so like the real 51:46 if I can put it that way. 51:48 So human beings now appear very much 51:51 like human beings. 51:52 And so the reality of these games 51:54 is that you're actually shooting... 51:56 Somebody, yeah, yeah, yeah, 51:57 in your brain that's what is happening, you know. 52:01 That's exactly what is happening. 52:04 So, yes, be very careful with those games. 52:08 Again, you know, you are the parent, 52:11 you are the one that puts the rule at home. 52:14 I get this all the time, you know, 52:17 the parents come and say, 52:18 "Doctor, but my child doesn't like the food 52:21 that I want to change." 52:22 You don't want to change my diet, 52:24 I didn't like it. 52:25 And I asked him, who pays for your food at home? 52:29 Does your child pay for the food 52:31 or do you pay for the food, you know? 52:33 So... It's very interesting. 52:35 But we're going to take a break for a moment. 52:37 You know, Dr. Eddie is talking about 52:38 a subject that I believe is very important. 52:41 And we're going to put up his contact details. 52:44 And I know he speaks all around the world 52:47 with his medical research. 52:50 And this is a subject that is becoming very prominent 52:52 because it's affecting our young people. 52:54 If you have an interest for him to come and talk to you 52:56 in this area and another area also, 52:59 you'll be able to contact him at this address. 53:05 If you would like to contact Dr. Eddie Ramirez, 53:08 you may write to him, c/o Weimar Institute 20601, 53:12 West Paoli Lane, Weimar, 53:14 California 95736, USA. 53:19 That's c/o Weimar Institute 20601, 53:23 West Paoli Lane, Weimar, 53:25 California 95736, USA. 53:30 You may email him at eramirez@weimar.edu. 53:35 That's the letter 53:37 Eramirez@weimar.edu. 53:42 Visit his YouTube channel by going to dreddieramirez.com. 53:46 That's dreddieramirez.com. 53:52 Follow him on twitter @EddieRDMD. 53:57 Contact him today. 53:59 He'd love to hear from you. 54:01 I hope you've got all those details. 54:03 I've enjoyed listening to Dr. Eddie 54:05 talking about this subject. 54:06 Because I'm looking back in hindsight 54:08 now as I'm getting older, 54:10 the effects these things that had on my children. 54:12 And you know, when we look back in hindsight, 54:14 we kind of think well, we should have done this, 54:16 but there's an opportunity to share 54:18 what we have learned with you 54:20 and Dr. Eddie is doing that today. 54:22 But he's got some more to say 54:24 in the short time we have got left. 54:26 So there's a very good quotation 54:29 in the book, Adventist Home. 54:31 This is a book that every parent needs to read. 54:36 And the quotation goes like this. 54:39 "Administer the rules of the home in wisdom and love, 54:44 not with a rod of iron. 54:47 Children will respond 54:49 with willing obedience to the rule of love. 54:53 Commend your children whenever you can, 54:56 make their lives as happy as possible. 54:59 Keep the soil of their heart mellow 55:02 by the manifestation of love and affection, 55:07 thus preparing it for the seeds of truth. 55:11 Remember that the Lord gives the earth 55:13 not only clouds and rain, 55:16 but the beautiful, smiling sunshine, 55:19 causing these seeds to germinate 55:21 and to bloom and bloom to appear. 55:25 Remember that children need 55:26 not only reproof and correction, 55:29 but encouragement and commendation. 55:32 The pleasant sunshine of kind words." 55:37 So you mentioned two things, love and affection. 55:40 They can only be experienced 55:41 by a child through personal contact. 55:45 That can't be done any other way. 55:47 The devices don't do that. 55:49 We have, all of us have limited time. 55:53 And by you spending time with your children, 55:59 you're literally giving part of your life to them 56:03 because we have limited lives in this planet earth. 56:07 So make sure your priorities are in line. 56:12 And you know we have tremendous examples, 56:15 such as David Livingstone. 56:18 If you read the history of David Livingstone, 56:21 his parents used to spend time reading the Word, 56:27 reading the stories of the missionaries. 56:29 That's the way the inspiration in his heart came about. 56:34 He went and dedicated his life in Africa, 56:38 as you very well known. 56:40 And his wife died, 56:41 he could have come back to England, 56:43 he's preferred to stay there. 56:45 And then, when they went to look for him, Mr. Stanley, 56:51 the famous story of him, he came and told him, 56:54 "Look, I came to see you 56:56 to run an article in the newspaper, 56:58 I'm the biggest atheist on planet earth, 57:00 I don't want you to convince me of anything else. 57:03 And a few months later, 57:06 the biggest atheist on planet earth 57:08 gave his life to the Lord as a result of the influence 57:11 of David Livingstone 57:13 who died in Africa serving others. 57:16 That's the kind of life that we should have. 57:20 And you know, David Livingstone died praying. 57:23 He was praying, and he died on his knees. 57:27 What a beautiful way of passing out. 57:30 In service to others is the greatest ability 57:33 or gift we have to enjoy life. 57:36 You know, Eddie, Dr. Eddie, thank you 57:38 for coming on the program. 57:39 And we look forward to having you again 57:41 on the program. 57:42 But until next time, may God richly bless you. |
Revised 2020-07-17