Participants:
Series Code: MIW
Program Code: MIW000073A
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00:01 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan Nowlin. I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:03 And welcome to Making It Work. 00:06 ¤ ¤ 00:37 You know Arthur, when you talk about changes and adjustment 00:42 and there's a term use in the Adventist circles it's called 00:46 PK. Have you ever heard that term before becoming a 00:48 Seventh-day Adventist? 00:50 Yes. Before? Before you became a Seventh-day 00:53 Adventist. No I had never heard that. 00:55 PKs. All right but now that you've heard it what does PK 00:58 stand for? 00:59 Ah, pastor's kid. 01:01 We say preacher's kid. No we never said pastor's, always 01:06 preacher's kid. 01:07 Wow. I'm learning something... 01:08 You got to get that emphasis PREACHer's kid. Can you say it 01:11 with me. So what's the advantage of that? 01:13 No, no, no. PREACHer's kid. 01:15 That's it. See how it flows. 01:16 So what do they do? 01:20 Well they get labeled that they're rotten and they're bad 01:23 and the pastor, his attention was more on the other members 01:26 of the church and their children and his own children just went 01:30 through the cracks. Well that's not true for our guest today. 01:34 We want to welcome our pastor... 01:37 Wait a minute. I didn't know you was a preachers kid. 01:40 I am not a preacher's kid. So you trying to say something 01:43 about me? Well no. I didn't fall through the cracks. All right. 01:47 The description, some of the things you said you know kind... 01:50 What spoiled? Well we'll leave that till later. 01:54 But we want to welcome our guest We have our pastor, Pastor Leon 01:59 Bryant and Sister Barbara Bryant our first lady's their beautiful 02:03 daughter Lindsey Bryant. Welcome Lindsey. 02:08 Thank you. Thanks for having me. 02:09 Oh you know what, I'm going to tell it. I would see Lindsey run 02:11 around the campground, and our campground is called Camp Wagner 02:14 and it's located in Cassopolis, Michigan and it's within the 02:18 Lake Region Conference which is inside the North American 02:21 Division. And she would be working in the snack bar, she 02:24 would be all over the place but she was coming out of my cabin, 02:28 remember we used to have a cabin and she would come. But now 02:33 she's such a beautiful young lady. Look at you. I'm so proud. 02:37 I'm so proud. So what do you think about this term PK? Were 02:40 you every called that? 02:42 Oh yes, all the time. Yeah. Growing up hearing PK was just 02:47 a label. People would label you and say you're a PK. Oh man that 02:52 means your this, that and the third. A lot of people would 02:57 just you know... Would it irritate you? 02:58 Yeah, it would really irritate me to the point where I would 03:02 not tell people that I was a PK just because people would 03:06 stereotype and label me from first experience or first 03:11 introduction. 03:12 Because at church everybody knew you were the pastor's 03:14 daughter so are you talking about when you were off to 03:16 boarding school... 03:18 Right at boarding school, yeah. 03:19 Or places like Camp Wagner and meeting new people. 03:22 Definitely. You know at Camp Wagner a lot of people 03:26 didn't see you 03:27 with your parents or something like that so just with your 03:31 friends and things like that. I think that people would treat 03:34 you differently if they knew that you were a PK. They would 03:37 say this or say that around them because you know her dad's a 03:40 pastor. And even in the church I had friends who said Oh be 03:44 quiet, we can't say that because the pastor's daughter's right 03:48 here. That was the difficulty of it all. 03:52 So what is it like being a pastor's daughter, what is it 03:56 like? It's not nothing spectacular 04:07 about it. Because to me I'm a human being first, God's child. 04:11 I fall short just like everybody else does and I try to explain 04:14 that to people before they even say, Oh you're a PK. I didn't 04:19 know that. But being a PK you go a lot of places and I love 04:23 that about it because you're get to travel. So I can think 04:27 of several places that I've been because of my dad's profession. 04:32 But being a PK, you meet a lot of people and you're always 04:37 going to federations and congresses and all these things, 04:42 so that was the thing that I really enjoyed about the fact 04:46 that I'm a PK. 04:49 One of the questions I wanted to ask is that you're moving 04:53 and you got to move from here and you pick up and leave 04:56 friends that you have and the next thing you know you're 04:59 somewhere else and you have to meet new friends. So how was 05:02 that especially growing up as a middle school child, high school 05:06 child. In the beginning it was really 05:09 tough. I didn't understand why we had to move because at the 05:13 time... I can give you an example. We lived in Pine Bluff, 05:17 Arkansas and I was in the 6th grade. I had just finished 6th 05:21 grade and I was going on to 7th grade. That's all I knew. I'd 05:24 been there, I can't remember how long we'd been there but I'd 05:29 been there and I had my friends, I had my church family. A small 05:33 town. Pine Bluff is just very small, it's not big at all. 05:36 So when we found out that we we're moving to Indianapolis, 05:39 Indiana, I was like where is that? Okay so I'm thinking 05:43 where is that. I don't have any friends there. I don't know 05:45 anybody. Number one, this is a whole new conference. So I'm 05:52 used to Texas and going to Lone Star Camp, that was the camp 05:57 there. So I loved that camp. 06:00 Better than Camp Wagner? 06:02 I'm sorry. They have a lake and they have horses. 06:06 Oh we better get a lake and the horses. 06:08 Everybody says that, they want horses at Camp 06:14 Wagner. Somebody's got to be working on 06:17 it. Yeah, so, but when we moved it 06:23 took a while for me to get adjusted because it was a big 06:27 city. Going from a small city rural area to this. They have 06:31 more than one mall, they have more than one Walmart. 06:34 It was like, oh my goodness, this is so great. Yeah, that was 06:39 the most difficult. I guess it was difficult at that time 06:43 because I was going into the 7th grade and then the church 06:46 school was bigger than the one that I had come from. I didn't 06:50 know anybody. 06:51 So let's go back. You know your father, his profession, which 06:55 was his work, his job, just like if he was a doctor, attorney, 06:58 or a teacher. He is a pastor. How old were you when you 07:03 realized your father was a pastor? When you would see him 07:06 up there as a little girl and you would say what is he doing 07:10 up there? Or did you always just know oh he's in charge? 07:13 That's a good question. 07:15 Why don't you think about that. 07:19 Yeah, I was probably 10 or 11. Yeah because you're used to 07:25 seeing okay he's always up front. Why is he always up 07:32 front. Yeah, just seeing him throughout the church service 07:36 being up front. Sometimes my dad likes to oh let's do this and 07:40 let's do that. So he's up front all the time. Yeah, I think that 07:44 was probably 10 or 11. 07:46 I recognize that you indicated you felt pressure to some extent 07:52 with your friends. But did you put pressure on yourself at some 07:57 point? You know like I have to do things this way, I have to do 08:02 things that way. 08:04 Well I made a conscious decision to not accept the label. 08:12 Of course, the label you guys are wild, you're not disciplined 08:19 you run around acting crazy. All these different stereotypes. 08:26 So I think one particular incident just made me realize 08:29 okay that I'm not going to accept the label because that's 08:34 not who I am as a person. So that was the turning point when 08:37 somebody comes to you and kind of disrespects you or says 08:41 something that's really mean. As a child, you don't know how 08:45 to take that. So in my mind I said okay yeah that's not who I 08:49 am so I'm going to prove, or not necessarily prove but make 08:53 sure that people don't label me like that because of what other 08:58 people have done. 08:59 Stereotyping. Yeah. 09:01 Was it easier for your or your brother in the adjustment of 09:05 transition, moving, the changes? 09:07 I would say it was my brother, it was easier for him because 09:10 he's a guy, you know, so, you know, he gets around 09:14 fellows over here. But girls we're just kind of like who is 09:18 this. Aaa, I don't like her. She's too cute, all those things 09:22 like. And not that I was saying that but you know new girl in 09:27 the area. A new girl. And you just kind of mess up the bubble 09:31 or the norm in the area. So I think it was easier for my 09:34 Now is it your decision to serve God's church. I see you leading 09:38 out in praise and worship. You're involved with the 09:41 federation, you're involved with different things. Leadership. 09:46 Family life, she's on our family life committee. Is it your 09:50 decision to do this? 09:52 Yes, yeah. Nobody's making me do it. Nobody is pushing me. 09:58 I think that the most important thing the reason why I am in 10:04 ministry is because my parents are ministry oriented. That's 10:10 just a part of them. So growing up I always see them going to 10:16 visit sick and shut in. And then going to AY and being a part. 10:22 My mom was Sabbath School leader and she taught us so it 10:28 was kind of weird at first. You know our age group; okay Mom. 10:32 Like why are you teaching our class, like why can't somebody 10:36 else teach out class. But they're always involved. I 10:40 can't see myself doing anything else, just kind of sitting back 10:44 and not doing anything. I just feel like it's a part of my 10:47 calling, being involved and not just kind of sitting down and 10:54 letting other people... not necessarily letting other people 11:00 do it, but having the mind set of I can do it too. Yeah. So. 11:06 Let me ask, what keeps you on track? I know the Lord is there. 11:14 Here you are a young African American female and we 11:23 have problems keeping youth your age in the church. I mean, they 11:28 leave like they graduate from college, they go their different 11:31 ways. Fortunately you're getting ready to graduate with your 11:37 master's in social work. That's a blessing. Great calling. 11:42 So what keeps you on track? 11:44 Oooh. Well you said it. God does he keeps me on track. Then I 11:49 have such a strong support system, not just my family but 11:54 friends who hold me accountable. And that is the most amazing 11:59 part of it because there are times of course, when I want to 12:03 okay let me just step back and kind of push this to the side, 12:07 push that to the side. But I'm always reminded you can take 12:12 a break, you can take your breath, but don't step away, 12:17 don't go back too far to where you get complacent. So sometimes 12:23 I just have to mentally take a break. But I definitely would 12:29 say that God keeps me stable and then the support of my family 12:34 and friends. That's really what keeps me going as well. 12:38 Do you want to marry and have children some day? 12:41 Yeah, I do, I do. 12:43 Okay I can see that. You can? Oh yes. I can just see you 12:50 around in cradle roll, come here. Your relationship with 12:56 your mother. I see you both serving on the praise team. I 13:01 see you in the choir. What is your relationship with your 13:06 mother? What is that like. 13:08 Me and my mom are, we're close, yeah we're close. I guess she 13:16 has been my backbone from of course day one. She's seen me 13:23 grow up and seen me maybe fall here or fall here, but she's my 13:30 rock. I really appreciate what not only what she has done but 13:35 what my dad has done. They're supportive. They don't want me 13:41 settle. They explain like hey you can do it. Don't second 13:47 guess yourself. So she's always like okay what's going on. She 13:51 knows if there's something wrong, if it's on my 13:54 face she just 13:55 like what's wrong. Yeah, she reads me really well. As mothers 14:00 I think all mothers do that. But she's definitely someone that's 14:05 such a great encouragement to me. I can remember being away 14:10 at school, both at high school and at Oakwood, even if it was 14:15 a phone call that I gave her. And she said you know what you 14:20 sound like something's wrong. I'm like I know. It was weird 14:25 but her support is just felt from either far away or just 14:31 just close by. I definitely have a praying mother. 14:36 You have a praying mother, that's what I was going to ask 14:39 you. You now your mother and I we have a history. You know 14:43 you Aunt Bertha, we all attended Oakwood College, now 14:45 Oakwood University, located in Huntsville, Alabama. When I 14:51 found out that Lindsey's mom was going to be me first lady it was 14:55 like oh my goodness, my classmate and they've been 14:58 guests on Making It Work. Yes in our first season. I want to know 15:05 what is it that drew you to social work. You know Brother 15:10 Nowlin is an LMSW and I'm like Adventist clinical psych. But 15:15 anyway leave that alone. But what drew you to social work? 15:19 Well as you know my mom is a social worker so I grew up just 15:25 seeing her being so active as far as her job and just seeing 15:29 her. She always had her beeper on her and she's always okay I 15:34 got to go. I'm like okay where is this lady going. Stay home 15:40 with me. But that was my first introduction to social work and 15:46 the thing with social work that hit me the most was being able 15:50 to help people and I learned that with social work there's 15:54 so much that you can do. It's so broad. You just don't have to 15:57 work with DHS, you don't just have to work in the school 16:01 setting. You can work in so many other arenas. When I was an 16:05 undergrad I worked with the Aids action coalition and I really 16:09 enjoyed that. I really enjoyed that. 16:10 That's a blessing. Talking about DHS we're talking about 16:14 Department of Human Services. Right. 16:16 Well one of the things that I wanted to talk about with your 16:19 social work degree. What's your particular area that you're 16:23 going to pursue? 16:24 Well the theory I chose at Wayne State University was cognitive 16:30 therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy. Excellent. 16:33 You want to explain that. Well sure. I know but I want 16:38 our viewers to hear your perspective. 16:39 Okay, well cognitive behavioral therapy is basically working 16:43 with the client to understand what has happened in their past 16:47 so you're also doing counseling and with counseling you can give 16:51 them homework assignments and tell them okay so because this 16:56 is happening to you let's work on ways to help you get through 17:01 what happened to you in the past. So I find that a very 17:05 interesting part of social work. 17:06 And plus it really opens the door to so many different areas. 17:11 Cognitive behavioral therapy is my expertise and one of the 17:16 things that I recognize is that it just allows you to deal with 17:21 issues from a therapeutic perspective in so many different 17:24 ways. We're talking about substance abuse, working with 17:28 children, addressing those issues and trying to make an 17:32 impact. One of the things that really kind of intrigued me with 17:36 making my decision is they talk about how you can be a friend 17:42 be a supporter as well as try to make them feel comfortable in 17:47 every possible way. So that's a good area. 17:50 Yeah. Yes, I'm looking forward to finding the right part of 17:57 social work that I want to work in. 17:58 I want to ask one more question before you talk. 18:01 Go help yourself. 18:03 One of the things as a Christian therapist that I think will come 18:09 up is your belief in God and dealing with the many different 18:16 areas that people are having issues with; homosexuality, 18:22 we're talking about substance abuse and we're talking about 18:28 child pornography. I've had people come to me with those 18:34 problems. How do you propose that you would address that 18:37 being a Christian first. 18:38 Being a Christian first. Um, to be honest with you for me 18:44 because I haven't had much experience encountered, the way 18:50 that I would approach it is to focus on what the client is 18:55 going through because it's not necessarily what I feel or 19:00 I believe because I don't want to put my beliefs on the client 19:05 but if I were to be asked about my beliefs I would definitely 19:09 explain that these are my views, don't feel that I am pushing 19:13 these views on you. So I would explain my beliefs. Yeah. 19:16 That's a good answer because that's right on target. 19:20 You do have to meet the client where they are and then work 19:25 from that perspective. Okay Kim. 19:28 Well thank you so much. You're on a roll here today, 19:30 I'll tell you. 19:32 Now let me ask you. What do you do to enjoy yourself being a 19:36 Christian young woman. What is available to our young people 19:40 today. 19:41 There's a lot available out there today. I'm involved with 19:48 motor city young adult ministry. We just came back from a retreat 19:53 a young adult retreat and we just had a wonderful time. Had 19:58 moments where we could discuss various topics and we had group 20:03 sessions and we had church and we sang. There was bowling and 20:08 basketball. The area where we went was very nice. 20:12 Where did you go? 20:13 We went to Gold Lake ministry and that's in Hickory Corners, 20:19 Michigan. It's not too far from the Ellen G. White estate. 20:25 Oh near Battle Creek. All right, okay. I've seen it. 20:30 But the group that I'm involved with we actually have vesper 20:35 programs planned every couple of Fridays. 20:38 Okay and what is vespers. 20:39 Well it's a worship service. Yes so we come together. We have a 20:43 speaker and we sing, we share testimonies and things like that 20:46 and then we also have potlucks where we come together and we 20:50 eat and have Bible study. Saturday nights we'll go 20:55 bowling, we have competitive... 20:59 Think of me, I going to go here. I'm not Seventh-day Adventist. 21:04 I like to club, I like to party and you know I come to church, 21:08 I do my thing at the end of the day I want to get to those clubs 21:13 How are you going to encourage me to come bowling and I want 21:19 to go and party? Okay. Being a social worker God has given you 21:24 that double ability to enhance the ministry. So how are you 21:28 going to pull me? And I know it's not you. You're a vessel 21:32 for the Holy Spirit. But I want to party. Bowling? Get real. 21:37 Okay. Well of course there are other alternatives besides going 21:44 to the club. So we'll say well what's the problem with coming 21:51 bowling on this particular night. 21:52 Well there's no dancing, there's no drinking, I can't meet guys 21:56 Okay, you can meet guys because there will be guys. It's not 22:00 just females there. There will be guys there. 22:02 Will there be alcohol there? 22:03 No, not alcohol. 22:05 Oh, no alcohol. You don't drink. You mean you have a good time 22:09 without alcohol? 22:12 We do, we do. And it is possible 22:13 It is possible. Okay, so what else do you all do. Come on. 22:15 You got to give me that game night. 22:18 Game night? Yes. Game night? I haven't played a game since I 22:22 twelve. You talking about Scrabble and things like that? 22:24 No we can play other games like Sorry and Uno and Faces. Yeah. 22:28 Are you kidding me. Table games? Yes. 22:30 She can't play those... 22:35 Well the person Kim but I'm playing a role here. So you're 22:39 pulling me in. So what else do you have? 22:43 We'll have girls night out so we can go out, go out to eat. 22:46 And not just the girls; we can also invite the guys sometimes. 22:51 We'll go out to eat. Walk around down town or in other areas here 22:55 in Detroit, Royal Oak. 22:57 Do you allow single guys at your church? 23:00 At my church? 23:01 Any church, other churches? Yes. There are nice guys? 23:06 Yeah, they're very nice. 23:07 Well how come you're still single? 23:11 Actually that is a very good question. 23:15 You just fell right into that. 23:20 Any kind of board games she cheats. 23:26 Okay I'm going to go back to being Dr. Kim. 23:34 Ann and I cheat. We do. 23:38 That's the beginning something. If you're cheating 23:40 in a board game, I mean you need help, you need care. Right 23:49 You know so my thing is being able to... the name of the 23:54 program is changes and adjusted. You have adjusted well, you're 24:00 encouraging others to adjust, to come into the body of Christ. 24:03 You think about how many stars, Ellen G. White as the Seventh 24:10 day Adventist Church, we consider her as our prophetess 24:13 and how it says in her book Great Controversy that there'll 24:17 be no starless crowns and when you touch a person's life and 24:21 then you minister to that person can you imagine as you get ready 24:25 to go out into the field as a social worker. You know you have 24:28 a beautiful countenance about you. I would let you counsel 24:32 Brother Nowlin and I. How would you counsel us? 24:34 Wait, wait, wait. Let me see. 24:36 I want to see her technique at work. Give me your first 24:41 approach in counseling a couple. 24:42 She can't counsel you, Kim. 24:44 Can you give me a chance? This is weird. 24:49 If we came to your session, what would you say? 24:52 I would first ask how you guys met. I would want to know some 24:55 background. 24:56 Okay. He was chasing my skirt. 24:59 She had ripped it a little bit. 25:03 But we were in a program yet. And then what would be your next 25:07 step? Then I would want to know what 25:08 did the other person have that you love about them. 25:13 Nothing. Okay, we could dig in a little 25:16 deeper. 25:17 She needs help. That's why we're here because she needs help. 25:24 Wait a minute. 25:30 Let's let each other take their time so you can speak first 25:32 and then give each other some time. 25:34 She needs three minutes. I mean she just goes on and on and on 25:38 like that bunny rabbit. 25:42 But that's why we're here seeing you today. 25:44 Oh look it, you would make a good therapist. 25:49 I don't know but that would just be the first... 25:53 Fifty plus fifty. I would be okay but Kim is in some denial. 25:58 Okay, we're going to leave that alone, you know see. Can you 26:03 imagine he's a social worker clinical psychologist, can you 26:07 imagine. I can. 26:08 We do the program together, we work together, we live together, 26:12 we love together, we travel together and we serve the church 26:15 together. And you wonder who? 26:17 It's won-der-ful 26:22 Good team, good team. 26:24 I've seen this all fitting with you so well. Because, I mean, 26:31 you're an outgoing person. You seem to be really legitimate. 26:37 You've always demonstrated a kind attitude toward people. So 26:42 it fits you really well. I don't really see you having any major 26:47 issues or major problems in this area. I think my concern 26:52 is with the way the world is now you have to be set up for a 26:59 major challenge in dealing with the different issues that exist 27:06 today. Oh, definitely. 27:08 I think you're going to be ready for that. Well you know 27:11 what. This has been wonderful. We have 35 seconds. Say 27:15 something to all those young people out there, you know. 27:18 I would like to let you all know to continue to trust God, most 27:23 important thing, trust God because he loves you and he 27:27 cares for you. He died on the cross for you. Don't label other 27:31 people. That's another thing because we talked about that 27:32 today. Don't label other people because you need to get to know 27:37 the person as an individual as a child of God first before you 27:41 label them or don't label them at all. 27:44 Don't label them at all because they should be labeled only as 27:47 a child of God. We want to thank Lindsey for being with 27:50 us and we praise God for her life and again may God continue 27:54 to keep you. I'm Dr. Kim Logan Nowlin and I'm Arthur Nowlin. 27:58 God bless. |
Revised 2018-02-14