Participants:
Series Code: MIW
Program Code: MIW000072A
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00:01 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan Nowlin. I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:03 And welcome to Making it Work. 00:36 Arthur, do you think about taking the journey 00:39 and coming home again, 00:40 what type of expression or fuss do you have? 00:46 I think, when I hear something like that 00:48 it's basically have another opportunity 00:52 to be with people I know, to be with friends. 00:56 Okay. 00:58 You know, so those are some of the things 00:59 that I think about. 01:01 Well, I think about enthusiasm, I think about the excitement 01:03 I'm gonna have when I see Jesus. 01:05 Well, today on Making it Work, we have a very special guest 01:08 and a friend, Mrs. Cherlyn Rupert. 01:10 Welcome to Making it Work. Thank you. 01:12 Well, we want you to tell your story, 01:14 tell your testimony, share with us, 01:17 you know was it was like growing up at Burns 01:20 and then there was a shift, and then you came home again. 01:25 So we want Cherlyn Rupert to tell her story. 01:28 Okay, I originally came to Detroit 01:32 in 1982, and I was, attended Burn. 01:37 At that time, I had two little girls at that time. 01:41 And Burns having received me so well. 01:44 I felt comfortable, it was like being at home. 01:48 And so, until today, I feel like 01:51 when I go home I go to Burns, 01:53 although I am at a different church, 01:55 our city temple. 01:57 But my life went on and I was here, 02:00 I was married at that time 02:02 with my husband in the Military. 02:03 Yes. 02:05 We had the two girls, and later on I had a son. 02:10 During the time of my life, my daughter, 02:15 my youngest daughter joined the Military. 02:18 And at the time my husband and my daughter 02:20 both being in the military at the time of the war. 02:24 They, one went to Iraq 02:26 and the other one went to Afghanistan. 02:28 And I was left at home and I strayed away. 02:33 What do you mean strayed away? 02:35 I strayed away from the church, I strayed away from God, 02:40 and I strayed away from my upbringings, 02:43 the things I was taught. 02:45 My mother's a retired 02:46 Seventh-day Adventist's teacher. 02:49 And so I feel like I was born in the church. 02:55 But to came back to where I was, 02:58 I guess I was drawn in with other things, 03:01 meeting other people, 03:03 and just trying to adapt to the change in my life, 03:07 and I lost my way. 03:11 I did things that I was taught not to do, 03:14 it was never interested in, but during that time, you know, 03:19 how the devil wait right at your weakest time, 03:22 at your weakest moment, 03:24 and then that's when he does his thing. 03:27 Of course. Okay. 03:29 So I lived in that worldly 03:34 crazy state of mind for years, I did. 03:39 And so that's why you didn't see me, 03:42 but I knew that I needed to stay somewhere affiliated 03:46 and associated with the church. 03:48 So I started going to city temples, 03:52 and I took my daughters and my son to city temple, 03:57 and then I strayed away from there, 04:00 and go back from there. 04:01 But the good thing about it, God never let me go. 04:04 Come on, Cherlyn. 04:05 Okay, if God kept me where I needed to be, 04:10 all had to do is reach out, reach out for him. 04:14 And I hear what you're saying that, you know, 04:18 on this two different occasions, 04:20 you strayed away. 04:22 What was the some other things that was pulling you? 04:26 I heard that you just kind of involved with the worldly, 04:31 I guess events that had happened in your life. 04:33 But what was some of the worst things 04:35 that cause you to stray away, what was putting you away? 04:40 Okay, the things that I was going through was marriage, 04:45 problems, and situations, and children. 04:49 You know, I am thousands of miles 04:51 away from my home, 04:53 and at that time I was the only... 04:55 And your home means where? 04:57 Louisiana. Louisiana. 04:58 Oh, Shreveport, Louisiana. Really? 05:00 Yes, and I was the member of 05:03 the Philadelphia Seventh-day Adventist Church 05:05 in Shreveport, Louisiana. 05:07 So my family that was there, 05:13 we lost connection, 05:15 I felt battle alone and felt lost, 05:20 somehow felt like 05:21 everything was on me to do at home. 05:25 My husband was gone with Military three months 05:31 at that time. 05:33 And just, he's not a Seventh-day Adventist 05:37 and I am. 05:38 And it's hard sometime when you have that difference 05:44 in a relationship with your spouse. 05:47 You know, you want them to be there. 05:49 And there is so much to learn in the religion, 05:53 we're always talking, and teaching, 05:56 and discussing things that, 05:59 you know, you just want your significant other there 06:02 to hear what's going on. 06:04 It's like, good, oh, this is good news, 06:06 you need me here so you can hear this. 06:09 And it just escalate and... 06:11 So did you get angry? 06:13 I mean, because he wasn't there and you felt that, you know, 06:17 because he wasn't with you 06:20 that even have any purpose, I mean? 06:24 No, I didn't get angry, I felt like I was alone 06:30 because I was determined to bring my children to church 06:34 and teach them, 06:35 because my mom always told me and my sister that, 06:39 "I don't have anything else to give you, but God." 06:42 All right. 06:43 And so she made sure that we study Sabbath school lessons, 06:49 and read the Bible, 06:51 and remembered the memory versus 06:53 and everything. 06:55 But, like in just growing up, 06:58 people introduced things to you. 07:00 But until you witness it for yourself 07:03 and go through some things yourself, 07:06 have trails then you really don't understand them. 07:11 So I thought I had a relationship with God, 07:15 because I had been through something, 07:17 and been in the military, and out, and married, and kids, 07:22 and so I thought I was okay. 07:25 But it wasn't until I lost my connection with God 07:31 that I turned to other thing 07:33 smoking, drinking and worldly things, 07:37 things that is totally different from my upbringing. 07:42 So where was your husband, was he still in military? 07:46 I mean, did you like come together at times? 07:49 I mean, he will come home or come to the Detroit, 07:52 wherever you were? 07:54 Oh, yes, he will come home. 07:57 But even with that I felt like I had to be the strong person 08:03 and keeping things going while he's way. 08:07 As I said, he would be gone 08:08 for like three months at a time. 08:10 And it's hard on a relationship, 08:14 especially when you have kids, and different things, 08:18 you know, just everyday life, financial situations. 08:23 But doing it on we struggled through it, and, 08:29 but I couldn't get it together for myself, you know, 08:34 I just turned, so I turned to that side of things 08:40 for comfort. 08:43 So, in the mean time did you and your husband 08:47 discuss the change that you were going through? 08:50 I mean, did he recognize 08:52 that there was difference in you? 08:54 Yes, yes, we did discuss 08:56 and we did counseling and everything, 08:59 everything turned out okay, 09:02 but it was all on me then. 09:07 You know, it was all my problem, everything, 09:11 I showed up everything, I took up everything, 09:14 and so that's what happened. 09:16 The finances was coming from him? 09:19 Finance was coming from him, I was working. 09:22 I worked at the city of Detroit, 09:25 I've been there all the time. 09:26 And then, I took on extra hours 09:30 and I started working at Cobo Hall, 09:33 and which just opened my world of to hold lot of things. 09:39 You know, meeting different people, 09:42 Mayor, Governors you know, 09:45 you can imagine and having different events. 09:48 And I worked, I was working so I didn't know how much, 09:53 I have worked until the end of that year 09:56 when we added up and did our taxes. 10:00 And I couldn't believe it, I said, "I worked that much?" 10:04 My goodness! 10:05 See, so, that's how out of control you can get 10:09 when you don't stay focus on what's important. 10:14 And what it has been and should have been to me 10:19 was my relationship with God. 10:22 But through it all, God didn't let me go. 10:26 Let me ask you a question, sweet heart. 10:28 When you were coming to visit church 10:30 and you would see us, and you would see, 10:32 you know, the familiar faces, 10:34 did you ever feel uncomfortable? 10:36 Did you at any times saying, "I don't fit in here anymore, 10:40 you know, or I've got make some changes 10:41 so that I can feel comfortable again." 10:44 Did you ever think that? 10:46 I did, I felt uncomfortable, 10:48 and I felt like it wasn't enough smiles, 10:53 it wasn't friendly at that time. 10:56 But even more than that 10:58 I knew the problem was not them, 11:02 the problem was me, you know. I changed, I saw it, 11:05 when I looked in the mirror 11:07 I didn't like that person, you know. 11:09 So I was intact enough to realize that 11:15 you are out of line, you know, 11:17 talking to myself in the mirror. 11:19 And I would just cried many days, many nights. 11:22 Really? 11:24 And you think about the people who come in with the façade, 11:27 the mask in church, on their jobs, 11:30 even in your homes, 11:32 just trying to exist, not living but existing. 11:36 And it sounds like that's where you work, 11:38 cause you work crime, you were depressed. 11:41 Were you depressed? I was depressed and crying. 11:44 And the thing about it is nobody knew. 11:46 Nobody knew. I'm sure, no. 11:49 Let me follow with something, you know, 11:52 and you actually just really made an emphasis 11:56 on some of the things 11:57 that people are trying to address 11:59 with a military personal. 12:02 And here it is that you went to that process, 12:07 but it became really a difficult task for you 12:11 because your husband was away in military, 12:15 you were left with responsibilities. 12:18 How, do you think that a lot 12:21 of spouses that who are not, 12:26 I guess, familiar dealing with, say that goings on, 12:32 or dealing with all the things that's require to run a family, 12:38 you think that may be they may really experience 12:42 some of the same difficulties that you experience? 12:45 Yes, I'm sure they do. 12:48 Because I was fortunate to go to a meal 12:53 that they had for the dependence, 12:58 and I spoke with the few of the ladies there, 13:01 and became quiet friendly with them. 13:04 And it's quiet normal, it's in the homes, 13:07 we still have to do, 13:09 everything has to you know, remain the same 13:12 especially when you have children. 13:15 It's hard, it's not easy. 13:18 But I'm so happy that the First Lady 13:23 is addressing these concerned. 13:26 And every time I hear her speak of the different programs 13:29 that they have 13:31 and all the things they're starting to do, 13:34 it makes me really happy 13:36 because we have to do all of the things 13:41 I can remember once, 13:44 one time my husband was going off to tour 13:47 and they had us all to sit down 13:50 and they briefed us 13:52 of what we're supposed to do while they are away. 13:55 And it was everything, it was absolutely everything. 14:00 So they breathe you on paying bills 14:03 and things like that. 14:04 Yes, they let us know that don't bother them 14:09 while they're doing that because they're in you know, 14:12 a dangerous situation or whatever their mission is, 14:16 or whatever their job is. 14:17 So they want us to you know, just hold, 14:20 you care the weight while they do that. 14:23 So while that was going on, let's bring it back to you 14:27 coming back to Christ, you coming back to the lord. 14:30 Who was watching your children 14:32 while you were out there doing your thing? 14:35 What was going on with your children? 14:36 My daughter and my family, actually it was, 14:43 my husband's family mostly, 14:44 because I really don't have much family here. 14:48 And, so they were there. 14:50 And what you were doing, when you drop the children off. 14:53 Some knew, and some would just come to my home, you know. 14:58 And, but they were supportive. Okay. 15:00 And they didn't understand. 15:04 They knew that I was out of character. 15:07 But they didn't have, 15:12 they didn't have an idea of how bad I was. 15:16 My problem was more on the inside, 15:21 just ripping, just you know, destroy myself on inside, 15:25 my thoughts were not good. 15:28 You know my, it affected my body. 15:31 And you know I was sick physically. 15:36 So you became depressed? 15:38 I was depressed. Yeah. 15:40 Did you go to counseling? 15:42 I went to counseling but even with the counseling, 15:47 the Counselor, she said, 15:49 "Well, if you need anything let me know, 15:53 but its sounds like you have everything under control." 15:56 Well, you didn't have anything under control. 15:58 I didn't have it under control. 16:01 And as far as she was concern, she probably did see 16:06 that I had it under control, but she didn't realize 16:09 that I had lost my best friend, I had lost my life, 16:15 you know because that was brought up loving guy, 16:19 teaching guy, preaching guy, 16:21 living that relationship with God. 16:25 And I didn't have it. 16:27 I felt betrayed, I felt like, okay, I'm on my own, 16:34 I have to deal with this, I can't bother him, 16:37 I can't bother my husband 16:40 with the thing that's going on at home. 16:42 So I carried them and I held them. 16:44 So your home, actually how did you felt that 16:48 because your husband was away, 16:49 because the momentary had talked you about what to do, 16:54 you couldn't contact your husband and you know, 16:57 tell him some the things that you were feeling 17:00 because you felt 17:02 that would be too much weight for him to bear. 17:04 Right, it wasn't the thing 17:06 that we were supposed to do anyway. 17:08 And, and I can understand that being a new military myself, 17:12 I can understand he had... You served in military? 17:16 Yes, that's where we met. That's where you met. 17:18 What branch in the military? The army. 17:20 Is that right? 17:22 So you met with your husband in the military? 17:23 Yes. Where were you stationed? 17:26 Fort Jackson, South Carolina, that's Columbia. 17:29 South Carolina. Okay. 17:32 Well, you know, the programs that are available now, 17:37 you're right. 17:38 There's a lot of programs for supporting families, 17:42 but by you not really having those programs 17:46 available to you, there may be even more difficult. 17:49 You have to rely on family, and once again, 17:52 you, as communicated, 17:55 your relationship with God has deteriorated. 17:58 Did you feel like, yet, God had turned away from you? 18:02 I felt something like that. 18:05 I felt you know, just to try and describe it, I felt like, 18:10 Well, God, why? 18:12 Why did you allow me to get in this relationship, 18:16 allow me to marry this person? 18:19 And then this happen. 18:24 I wasn't in touch with things, 18:26 but, and then I was young, actually I was young. 18:30 We were both young when we marry, 18:32 we were both young when we were in the military. 18:37 But I don't necessarily blame God, 18:42 but I was a little disappointed that things didn't turn out 18:48 the way I thought they should have in my life. 18:51 Because when I was in college I said, 18:55 I didn't have really big goals for myself, 18:58 I wanted to be married. 19:00 Excuse me. 19:02 I wanted to be married, 19:03 and I wanted to have two children, 19:05 and I want it to not work. 19:09 But I did... Stay at home. 19:11 I was gonna be a stay at home mom. 19:13 But let me say something before you go on, that is, 19:15 and I want to say this to all the women, 19:17 and single parents, and parents. 19:20 Being a parent, being a wife 19:23 is a great calling, a great calling. 19:27 And we don't want to play their down 19:28 because it is crucial 19:30 to the upbringing of our children. 19:31 So I think those are outstanding goals 19:33 you have for yourself. 19:35 Yes, it is, it is a great call. 19:37 And if I had to work, I want it to do that 19:42 and I wanted to help my husband. 19:45 And that was the whole thing about the working part. 19:48 But now, that I am older and I've been working, 19:54 I actually like working outside the home. 19:58 And when I was in the home 19:59 I enjoy being at home with my children 20:03 and bring them up. 20:05 But as I strayed away from church 20:11 and I was at work one day, and I said, " 20:15 "Look, I'll go and get something to eat. 20:18 And as I was going through the skywalk 20:20 at the Coleman A. Young Municipal Center... 20:24 Located in the Detroit, Michigan. 20:27 As I was going over to the milliner, 20:30 I saw one of the members at city temple, 20:34 Harry Logan. 20:35 Yeah, oh, Harry. I love her. 20:37 And I often say she saved my life. 20:41 Praise the Lord. 20:42 Because I have told her. 20:44 She said, well, she said, "Where have you been?" 20:47 She said, "It's so good to see you," 20:49 and she hugged me as a welcome. 20:55 "I miss you, and I love you. Where have you been?" 20:58 It was like a family member being away 21:01 you know, for long time. 21:03 And I received that, I received their love. 21:07 And I said, "Harry, I have been through so much 21:12 and I am not right now. 21:14 I have this problem, that problem, this is going on, 21:18 and that is going on." 21:19 She said, "Well, I tell you what, 21:21 bring all of that to church and come back." 21:26 She said, "Because that is where you can get heal. 21:31 That's where we can love you and get you back 21:35 to where you need to be? 21:37 And just bring it to the church, 21:39 bring it to the Lord, and leave it there." 21:43 And that's what I did. 21:45 So with that feeling of a lovingness, 21:49 that connected you to come back to city temple? 21:52 Yes. 21:54 And then what happened after that? 21:55 Glad to tell you, 21:56 Cherlyn is on fire for the lord. 21:58 She leads out with the praise team. 22:00 You will see her, no one else stands up, 22:02 and shouts in church, 22:04 all I have to do is look to the right side of me 22:06 and this woman does, she's shouting, she's praising. 22:09 Don't everything, but running up and down. 22:11 I am just wait for that. 22:13 But what is that gives you all this fire and excitement? 22:17 It's the love and the relationship. 22:22 Excuse me. 22:24 That I finally got back and renewed. 22:29 Actually, it's a new relationship. 22:31 It's a new relationship with God. 22:37 How soon after seeing Harry did you come back? 22:40 It took a while. It took a months. 22:45 Month, okay. 22:46 I was so, to tell you how low I was, 22:50 I couldn't come on my own. 22:53 I would ask my daughter's help me to get back to church. 22:56 I need to go. I need to go there. 22:58 And I never ever thought in my life 23:02 that I would be in this place. 23:05 You know, I never thought that I could go there. 23:08 And that's why anytime I see anybody come in, 23:14 and I know I haven't seeing them in a while, 23:17 I go to them and I tell them, "How are you? 23:21 Come on, I missed you. Come back, come back." 23:24 And actually, I am in a position now, 23:27 working at the finance assessor's office 23:32 to help people. 23:34 I see people that I haven't seen in a years. 23:37 And I've seen members, some of our members, 23:41 and I have challenged them to come back, 23:44 and I've told them that I miss you, come back. 23:48 I don't know what the problem was. 23:51 Some of them discuss things with me and some don't. 23:56 But I feel that with prayer they will be back. 24:00 Let me ask this question, okay, you know, 24:02 things are going pretty well for you at this point. 24:06 But what happened 24:08 when your husband returned from the military, 24:10 'cause he was in Iraq, is that correct? 24:13 He was in Afghanistan. He was in Afghanistan. 24:15 He was in Afghanistan, and also in Cuba. 24:18 But to put it quickly, he was not the same. 24:25 Okay. 24:26 Our relationship wasn't the same. 24:28 And so there again, 24:32 I have to leave that in God's hand. 24:36 And I believe and I trust 24:38 that God will take care of that. 24:40 So now, you know, you are at a point in your life 24:43 as Kim indicated earlier 24:45 where you're on fire for the Lord. 24:48 You know, God is gonna bring everything back. 24:51 How's your relationship with the children now? 24:54 Its good. 24:55 They are happy, they've been very supportive. 24:58 And after everything came out and my life was on billboard, 25:05 so to speak, they realizes that they needed to help mom. 25:10 It's their time to step up and help. 25:12 And so they did, and they were there for me. 25:15 And I'm still praying in that issue also. 25:20 So at this point now, you know, it seems like God is, you know, 25:25 just like grab hold you and say, 25:27 now you're welcome back home. 25:30 And you know, it seems like you're filled with Holy Spirit, 25:35 you're motivated to tell people about God, like you said, 25:39 even on your job you telling people about Christ, 25:44 and you getting them, 25:45 you trying to encourage them to return in church. 25:49 That's something really positive 25:51 and you're motivated. 25:53 So you know, do you plan 25:55 on continuing to do that outreach? 25:59 Oh, yes, of course. 26:01 And I made a promise to God that if I get back in here 26:06 and start over again, and get my life back 26:10 then I will praise your name. 26:13 Amen. 26:15 And that's what I am doing, and that's what I am going 26:17 to continue to do. 26:19 And more outreach to people 26:22 because there are sad souls here. 26:26 Yes. 26:27 You know a lot is going on and we are needed right know, 26:31 God need us to let people know that he is there for you. 26:37 God is here for you, all you have to do 26:41 is ask, that's it. 26:46 So I have a goal and I have a mission, 26:50 and my mission is to tell everybody 26:53 that I came how good God is, 26:57 and how much he is waiting and happy to help us. 27:02 And that's my story. 27:04 That's great, that's a fantastic story. 27:06 Thanks a lot. 27:07 Especially, how you doing things in a church, 27:10 you're singing, you're part of the hospitality and noxious, 27:14 and I mean, I see you there and you have such a smile 27:20 on your face when I come in. 27:22 And that's motivating, you know, 27:24 that lets people know 27:25 that you are full of the Holy Spirit 27:28 and that you're legitimate. 27:30 And I think that's what your story means, 27:32 and going through trials and tribulation 27:34 because helping some of the people 27:38 that are experiencing, some of difficulties 27:40 as military personal, that is really meaning full 27:45 that you may be placed in a position 27:47 where you can encourage someone 27:50 that is in that type of environment. 27:52 It's difference, even though 27:54 there is help available to them, 27:56 it still a difference. 27:58 It is. 27:59 Well, we want to thank you, Cherlyn 28:00 for being with us and telling your story. 28:02 We were truly moved, 28:04 and we know our viewers have been moved. 28:06 I am Dr. Kim Logan Nowlin. I am Arthur Nowlin. 28:09 And continue to Making It Work. God bless. |
Revised 2016-07-21