Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan
Nowlin, I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:00:01.40\00:00:04.43
And welcome to Making It Work.
00:00:04.47\00:00:05.80
¤ ¤
00:00:05.83\00:00:07.17
Arthur, when you think about
someone who's gone the distance
00:00:37.57\00:00:41.17
and someone who has an
undying commitment, I'm talking
00:00:41.20\00:00:44.74
about to parents,
what does that say to you?
00:00:44.77\00:00:48.48
It says that there's a
strong commitment of love,
00:00:48.51\00:00:53.95
appreciation and that you're at
a point where you feel that this
00:00:53.98\00:01:02.02
is something you have to do.
00:01:02.06\00:01:03.39
OK, so that bond goes beyond
that actual love that something
00:01:03.43\00:01:07.30
I'm committed to do.
00:01:07.33\00:01:08.66
Yeah, I have to do this.
00:01:08.70\00:01:10.03
Well you know today we have a
special guest who's come back.
00:01:10.07\00:01:13.87
She was on a few weeks ago with
us a season before, sorry, and
00:01:13.90\00:01:18.44
she's come back to tell us part
two. Now in the previous program
00:01:18.47\00:01:22.88
Joanne Fuller talked about her
relationship going the distance.
00:01:22.91\00:01:27.28
She had lost her father,
pastor within the Lake Region
00:01:27.32\00:01:29.42
Conference again. We have
several divisions in the North
00:01:29.48\00:01:34.72
American Division itself but the
Lake Region Conference is made
00:01:34.76\00:01:38.73
up of five states and her father
served as one of the pastors.
00:01:38.76\00:01:43.53
When I was a little girl growing
up in Detroit he was one of our
00:01:43.57\00:01:48.30
pastors. So today she's
come back to talk about her
00:01:48.34\00:01:51.47
relationship with her
mother, undying commitment.
00:01:51.51\00:01:54.61
Welcome Joanne Fuller.
00:01:54.64\00:01:55.98
Thank you, thanks
for having me back.
00:01:56.01\00:01:58.05
You know if you watched our
previous program Joanne, does me
00:01:58.08\00:02:03.08
hair. You know she
gives me a different look.
00:02:03.12\00:02:06.86
Thank you Jo. Your so welcome.
00:02:06.89\00:02:10.03
I think that was a
compliment. Of course.
00:02:10.09\00:02:16.16
People tend to recognize, Joanne
that I change my hair too much.
00:02:16.20\00:02:20.27
They can't keep up with me.
00:02:20.30\00:02:21.64
You got to keep
them on their toes.
00:02:21.67\00:02:23.30
Do I keep you on your toes.
00:02:23.34\00:02:24.94
You keep me on
my feet. (Laughter)
00:02:24.97\00:02:28.91
Joanne, thank you for coming
back. We want to talk about
00:02:28.94\00:02:33.82
your undying commitment. We
want you to tell us the story
00:02:33.85\00:02:37.85
about what you went through with
your mother. Times were very
00:02:37.89\00:02:41.89
tumultuous, it was very
difficult, but you were still
00:02:41.92\00:02:44.43
committed till the day she
passed away. Tell us your story,
00:02:44.46\00:02:48.33
tell us why you
stayed committed.
00:02:48.36\00:02:50.37
You want me to start with the
Alzheimer's or you want me to
00:02:50.40\00:02:54.74
start with before.
00:02:54.77\00:02:56.10
Before way before.
Yes Yes. As a little girl.
00:02:56.14\00:03:00.18
Oh my goodness. Well
that was as the word you used,
00:03:00.21\00:03:05.58
tumultuous. The relationship was
a different type of relationship
00:03:05.61\00:03:16.62
To me it was not a typical
mother-daughter relationship.
00:03:16.66\00:03:21.43
I was closer to my dad than I
was to my mom and we just never
00:03:21.46\00:03:27.54
saw eye-to-eye. For her, I
was too independent. I asked too
00:03:27.57\00:03:33.61
many questions. I was the why
child. There has to be a reason.
00:03:33.64\00:03:39.58
But that was me. I just wanted
to know why. I was not the one
00:03:39.61\00:03:44.35
if you just told me don't do
it, but why. There has to be a
00:03:44.39\00:03:48.82
reason why. So that really got
under her skin. And she told me
00:03:48.86\00:03:53.29
many times you are so
independent. But I thought that
00:03:53.33\00:03:55.96
was how they were trying to
raise me, especially being the
00:03:56.03\00:04:00.30
only girl. You know, my father
was like well I want you to get
00:04:00.34\00:04:04.17
married and everything but I
don't want you to ever have to
00:04:04.21\00:04:08.58
depend on a man, which is
different than being committed
00:04:08.61\00:04:12.95
to a man. And he explained that
difference. So I was raised to
00:04:12.98\00:04:17.62
to be kind of independent. I was
raised to know how to take care
00:04:17.65\00:04:22.26
of a car, I was raised to
work with him in his carpentry
00:04:22.29\00:04:26.33
business so I'd know how to
paint, I'd know who to lay a
00:04:26.36\00:04:30.30
work floor, I'd know how to lay
tile, I'd know how to do all of
00:04:30.37\00:04:33.94
that because he taught me.
Where with my mom, I don't know
00:04:33.97\00:04:39.04
if she wanted a prissy girl,
because I wasn't prissy when I
00:04:39.07\00:04:43.01
was younger. You know, I was
out there playing football with
00:04:43.04\00:04:48.52
the boys in the neighborhood
and basketball and softball and
00:04:48.58\00:04:53.79
fighting, fighting my brother's
fight. My older brother was five
00:04:53.82\00:04:58.03
years older than I. I was the
one that was taking up for both
00:04:58.06\00:05:02.23
of them. You know, just crazy.
00:05:02.26\00:05:06.33
Who did the spanking?
00:05:06.37\00:05:08.60
They both did. They both did.
She was very, what's another
00:05:08.64\00:05:21.42
word besides hothead.
She was... Aggressive?
00:05:21.45\00:05:25.65
Kind of, sort of. My dad if he
was going to spank you, he would
00:05:25.72\00:05:31.53
talk to you first, put you over
his knee and spank you. My mom
00:05:31.59\00:05:36.33
the extension cord and the
(giggles) Yeah, try not to cry.
00:05:36.36\00:05:41.97
You remember those days.
00:05:42.00\00:05:45.14
So both your parents were the
disciplinarians and they spanked
00:05:45.17\00:05:49.48
you. Oh yeah, oh
yeah. I didn't get
00:05:49.51\00:05:51.61
a lot of spankings. I wasn't
crazy. I didn't like that.
00:05:51.65\00:05:56.52
Your mom was
the stricter parent?
00:05:56.55\00:06:01.46
Yes she was the stricter parent
yes. I couldn't go a lot of
00:06:01.49\00:06:05.76
places. I couldn't spend the
night over at anyone's house.
00:06:05.79\00:06:09.16
You know, even if there were
like slumber parties, I could go
00:06:09.23\00:06:12.57
but then she would pick me up
at either 12 or 1, whatever time
00:06:12.60\00:06:17.77
she decided to pick me up
and I would have to come home.
00:06:17.84\00:06:20.84
No spending the night?
00:06:20.88\00:06:22.21
No spending the night. I loved
my mother though. I did. My
00:06:22.24\00:06:26.98
mother was very funny, very
funny. Musically talented. I
00:06:27.02\00:06:31.99
used to love hearing my mother
play the piano and the pipe
00:06:32.02\00:06:38.09
organ. I mean, she was so
talented and gifted. Gifted as
00:06:38.13\00:06:42.96
far as... I think I got
my sewing and stuff from her
00:06:43.00\00:06:47.77
because she could sew. She was
really gifted and I loved her
00:06:47.80\00:06:52.91
but we didn't have the
relationship to me that mothers
00:06:52.94\00:06:56.11
and daughters have. She had it
more with my brothers I think.
00:06:56.14\00:07:00.25
What was it that you were
looking for from her? And I
00:07:00.28\00:07:04.92
would assume that as you matured
into being a young woman that
00:07:04.95\00:07:10.89
you recognized that you needed
something more from your mom.
00:07:10.93\00:07:16.83
What was it that you
were really looking for?
00:07:16.87\00:07:19.37
(Deep sigh) You know what, I
think I wanted that... You know
00:07:19.43\00:07:23.61
how you have those friends who
have that relationship and they
00:07:23.67\00:07:30.18
can talk to their mother, and
then they go shopping. I think
00:07:30.21\00:07:34.68
that's what I was looking for.
And the older I get, the more
00:07:34.72\00:07:39.22
I see, cause I didn't have
grandmothers either. So I never
00:07:39.25\00:07:43.66
had that relationship with women
My dad's mother died when I was
00:07:43.69\00:07:49.33
about one and my mother's mother
died when I was about eight. So
00:07:49.36\00:07:54.94
I didn't have grandmothers
growing up. Then not to have
00:07:54.97\00:08:00.38
that relationship. I always felt
like we should be close and you
00:08:00.41\00:08:06.25
know when I had an accident in
school where my finger got cut
00:08:06.28\00:08:12.09
off. She was not really
supportive, not really there.
00:08:12.15\00:08:18.23
My dad was there, my aunt was
there, her baby sister, but she
00:08:18.26\00:08:25.37
wasn't there.
00:08:25.40\00:08:26.74
She didn't show up.
00:08:26.77\00:08:28.70
No I remember talking to her
on the phone and she was fussing
00:08:28.74\00:08:32.47
because it happened, and what
were you doing, instead of being
00:08:32.51\00:08:36.44
compassionate. And I guess that
was what I was looking more for
00:08:36.48\00:08:40.35
is the compassion. And when
I look back and I think that's
00:08:40.38\00:08:45.19
what I wanted was somebody to
care for me. I didn't feel like
00:08:45.22\00:08:50.03
I had that.
00:08:50.06\00:08:51.39
So after you recognized that
that void was there how did that
00:08:51.43\00:09:00.00
motivate you as far
as going into adulthood?
00:09:00.04\00:09:06.41
Well I moved out of my parents'
home when I was 19 because
00:09:06.44\00:09:11.18
our relationship had really
gotten to the point where my
00:09:11.21\00:09:15.88
dad was separating us when it
came to arguments and stuff like
00:09:15.92\00:09:20.79
that, yeah. So finally I said
well OK I'm out. And he knew it
00:09:20.82\00:09:24.99
was time and he told me it
was time. So he sat down with me
00:09:25.03\00:09:28.86
and we did budgeting and all
that kind of stuff. So I went
00:09:28.90\00:09:35.34
and got an apartment and from
then on kind of just took it
00:09:35.37\00:09:41.74
one day at a time, still missing
that though, that relationship.
00:09:41.81\00:09:48.42
Because even after I moved out,
and I'm just being honest, but
00:09:48.45\00:09:54.29
she was still trying to control
the situation in my home, in my
00:09:54.32\00:10:02.13
apartment, in my space. So you
know having to respectfully say
00:10:02.16\00:10:09.94
OK, now this is my home,
this is my space and you have to
00:10:09.97\00:10:18.41
call before you come over. It
was hard and it was hard for my
00:10:18.45\00:10:27.52
dad to see that too. Then as
I matured, I realized that that
00:10:27.56\00:10:34.56
was his wife. I felt like at one
point that he should have taken
00:10:34.60\00:10:41.44
sides. But now I realize that
I was his daughter and that was
00:10:41.47\00:10:46.98
his wife. I had to respect
that even though he was my dad.
00:10:47.01\00:10:52.41
There were periods of time when
we didn't talk for a long time.
00:10:52.45\00:11:00.39
For it could have been six
months, a year. Part of that
00:11:00.42\00:11:05.36
was because of my lifestyle. She
didn't care for my lifestyle.
00:11:05.39\00:11:10.47
And you know, I was not perfect.
I wasn't in the church always so
00:11:10.50\00:11:15.50
But she always had an opinion
about it but you know there
00:11:15.54\00:11:19.34
were times when we
would head up, head up.
00:11:19.37\00:11:24.81
So moving out you also changed
the way you were doing things?
00:11:24.85\00:11:30.49
You know so are we talking
about going out, partying?
00:11:30.55\00:11:37.36
Oh partying, yeah and drinking,
smoking. When I left I left.
00:11:37.43\00:11:44.37
Do you think she had a great
impact on the way you changed
00:11:44.43\00:11:49.40
your lifestyle, being raised
in the Seventh-day Adventist
00:11:49.44\00:11:54.34
church as a Christian to going
to the opposite or was it just
00:11:54.38\00:11:58.35
a choice you made?
00:11:58.38\00:11:59.71
I think it was more of a choice.
I think it was more my choice
00:11:59.75\00:12:08.12
than her pushing me out there.
I can't put that on her. I think
00:12:08.16\00:12:13.13
it was more of my choice.
00:12:13.16\00:12:14.66
What were you looking for?
00:12:14.70\00:12:16.10
I think I was looking for love,
bottom line. I was looking for
00:12:16.16\00:12:22.60
love. I was looking for somebody
to love me. I realized that when
00:12:22.64\00:12:28.51
my drinking got to the point...
I never got drunk out, like if
00:12:28.54\00:12:33.68
I was out clubbing or whatever.
I could nurse a drink all night
00:12:33.72\00:12:40.36
long, but I would drink at home
by myself. I'll never forget one
00:12:40.39\00:12:47.00
time I woke up the next morning
and I had a knot on my head
00:12:47.03\00:12:49.40
and did not know where the knot
came from and at that point I
00:12:49.43\00:12:55.54
realized, OK you know what. Like
somebody told me you could have
00:12:55.60\00:13:01.68
killed yourself. I mean,
literally knocked yourself out
00:13:01.71\00:13:03.04
and just been there. So I
realized that there were some
00:13:04.08\00:13:08.88
issues and I sought counseling
and stuff after that point.
00:13:08.92\00:13:13.66
Did you stop drinking?
00:13:13.69\00:13:15.02
No, but it slowed down a
whole lot, it slowed down a lot.
00:13:15.06\00:13:20.86
So you don't really blame her?
00:13:20.90\00:13:24.50
I don't. Maybe I did then
but at this point I don't.
00:13:24.53\00:13:30.71
We went through
00:13:30.74\00:13:34.94
Binding the Wounds at Burns.
Our pastor, Julius Sanford, at
00:13:34.98\00:13:39.78
that time, brought that to our
church. I can say though that I
00:13:39.81\00:13:44.62
did have a lot of animosity
built up and maybe even some
00:13:44.65\00:13:49.22
hatred. It was to the point,
I'll never forget, I was doing a
00:13:49.26\00:13:55.06
client, my dad had come down to
visit and my client said when my
00:13:55.10\00:14:00.87
mother walked in the room she
could feel it rise in me. She
00:14:00.90\00:14:05.14
said she didn't know what was
going on but she was sitting in
00:14:05.17\00:14:09.58
the chair in front of me, but
she felt something rise in me.
00:14:09.61\00:14:12.98
And that's how it always
was with us. When she would come
00:14:13.01\00:14:18.02
into me space, I was very
uncomfortable. I was just on
00:14:18.05\00:14:22.42
edge and just waiting for
her to say something, or just
00:14:22.46\00:14:26.80
waiting for something to happen.
But as we went to Binding the
00:14:26.83\00:14:32.67
Wounds it helped me to realize
that some of those choices were
00:14:32.70\00:14:37.47
my choices. But part of that was
that you had to write letters.
00:14:37.51\00:14:44.08
Or even talk to her. Well at
this time she had just started
00:14:44.11\00:14:50.65
into the Alzheimer's. So I
didn't get a chance to really
00:14:50.69\00:14:54.96
sit down and talk to her. But I
did was I went to her sister and
00:14:54.99\00:14:59.59
I told her what I was doing
and what I was going through and
00:14:59.63\00:15:04.83
this process and just asked her
some questions and she gave me
00:15:04.87\00:15:10.11
some history on the family. My
mother comes from 12, six boys
00:15:10.14\00:15:15.31
and six girls and I think she's
the third oldest. So when she
00:15:15.34\00:15:20.88
gave me that history,
it was like okay, wow, very
00:15:20.92\00:15:27.39
eye-opening. It really helped
me see that this wasn't just her
00:15:27.42\00:15:35.03
and that we do things, or
sometimes our life goes because
00:15:35.06\00:15:41.07
of what happened before us and
the things that happened to us.
00:15:41.10\00:15:47.04
When she started talking to
me about the family history that
00:15:47.08\00:15:53.35
really gave me some empathy for
my mother and that's when things
00:15:53.38\00:15:59.65
for me started to change
toward her. Because now I had
00:15:59.69\00:16:03.96
understanding. It's not that I
felt like she hated me or didn't
00:16:03.99\00:16:12.00
like girls. This was how
she was raised. Some of the _
00:16:12.03\00:16:18.21
and how they treated them
as children. Just one story she
00:16:18.24\00:16:23.68
said, she was telling me that
one time they were sitting on
00:16:23.75\00:16:29.22
the porch and a couple of my
great aunts came to visit and
00:16:29.25\00:16:33.39
they said hello. Well I guess
everybody didn't say hello loud
00:16:33.42\00:16:39.13
enough, so they got slapped.
I mean that's just one example.
00:16:39.16\00:16:45.13
So it's like wow. So this stuff
didn't just start with her. It
00:16:45.17\00:16:51.11
was a history of things,
a history of abuse and that
00:16:51.14\00:16:57.08
really, really caused me to
really think because I really
00:16:57.15\00:17:00.88
did not like holding on to that.
I really didn't. I don't like
00:17:00.92\00:17:07.49
holding onto grudges, I don't
like holding onto stuff. And I
00:17:07.52\00:17:14.06
really thank God for the
Everett's for bringing it to
00:17:14.10\00:17:18.53
Burns because I know it helped
me and I know it helped some
00:17:18.57\00:17:21.84
other people know that it wasn't
for that I'd probably be holding
00:17:21.87\00:17:26.57
onto a lot of that. But that
really caused me to do a lot of
00:17:26.61\00:17:32.15
soul searching and just asking
God to help me to take it away
00:17:32.18\00:17:36.22
even thought I couldn't talk to
her and couldn't get some of the
00:17:36.25\00:17:40.26
answers but it helped to take a
lot of that animosity and hatred
00:17:40.29\00:17:45.59
away. Well we talk
about our different
00:17:45.63\00:17:48.46
churches and Seventh-day
Adventist circles Burns Seventh
00:17:48.50\00:17:52.67
day Adventist churches where you
and I grew up in Detroit, MI.
00:17:52.70\00:17:56.14
and that's where you had this
experience of Binding the Wounds
00:17:56.17\00:17:59.57
and Dr. Everret. Let's
talk about your son and his
00:17:59.61\00:18:05.01
relationship
with his grandmother.
00:18:05.05\00:18:07.15
What was that like for him?
00:18:07.18\00:18:09.18
Um, well because we lived
in Detroit and they lived in
00:18:09.22\00:18:17.16
Chicago it was different.
It's funny because grandparents
00:18:17.19\00:18:23.50
treat their grandchildren
so much nicer than they treated
00:18:23.53\00:18:27.94
us. The stuff that we used
to get in trouble for, they let
00:18:27.97\00:18:32.34
them get away with.
00:18:32.37\00:18:34.31
So you think that things that
you did that you got whippings
00:18:34.34\00:18:38.65
for or punishment, but grand
children they get away with
00:18:38.68\00:18:42.98
everything. Oh
yes, she loved her grand
00:18:43.02\00:18:45.15
children. She had two
grand children and she loved her
00:18:45.19\00:18:47.66
grandchildren very much.
00:18:47.69\00:18:49.29
Even during the time when you
noticed that she had a different
00:18:49.32\00:18:55.06
relationship with the grand
children, did you kind of reach
00:18:55.13\00:19:00.80
out to her or were thinking that
this is the type of relationship
00:19:00.84\00:19:04.37
I would have appreciated?
00:19:04.41\00:19:08.48
You know what, maybe, but I
think I thought because he was
00:19:08.54\00:19:12.75
a boy. Because I always thought
she had issues with girls and
00:19:12.81\00:19:16.99
maybe because it was me.
Because my mother also was a
00:19:17.02\00:19:20.49
foster mother, a foster mother
for years. But most of the
00:19:20.52\00:19:24.59
foster children that we had were
boys. So I always thought it
00:19:24.63\00:19:29.96
was an issue with girls. So
maybe because he was a boy, you
00:19:30.00\00:19:35.54
know. But I never kept them
away from them. Even when we
00:19:35.57\00:19:41.04
would go on cruises, my husband
and I, Rick, and they would come
00:19:41.08\00:19:46.31
down from Chicago and keep
him while we were gone and get
00:19:46.35\00:19:50.52
him ready for school and
everything. So I never tried to
00:19:50.59\00:19:55.12
keep them away, because she
really enjoyed her grandchildren
00:19:55.16\00:19:59.36
Well how did this impact you as
a mother, you know, being raised
00:19:59.39\00:20:04.37
by the mother that you had and
her personality and raising your
00:20:04.40\00:20:09.30
own child? Well
I'm more like my dad
00:20:09.34\00:20:14.18
because I'm more laid back.
Everybody says that. My mother
00:20:14.21\00:20:18.65
used to even say that, you're
just like your dad. But I really
00:20:18.71\00:20:23.45
made a conscious effort with my
son to talk to him and let him
00:20:23.49\00:20:28.22
and let him talk to me
respectfully. But I did let him
00:20:28.26\00:20:34.93
talk to me. He's 21
now, he'll be 22 in July.
00:20:34.96\00:20:36.73
I can't believe
that. Little Ricky.
00:20:36.77\00:20:41.84
But I always let him talk
to me and it's funny because I
00:20:41.90\00:20:47.34
used to just listen when he was
in grade school and high school.
00:20:47.38\00:20:52.01
I would just let him talk, talk.
You know inside you're like
00:20:52.05\00:20:55.82
what, what. And I would just
let him talk. He used to tell us
00:20:55.85\00:21:02.69
stuff all the time. But I made
a conscious effort to allow him
00:21:02.72\00:21:08.96
first of all to be who he is
and of course to direct him, but
00:21:09.00\00:21:15.20
also to have an open
communication, open relationship
00:21:15.24\00:21:19.47
with him.
00:21:19.51\00:21:20.84
After Binding the Wounds, that
program that you participated in
00:21:20.88\00:21:30.89
in Burns, do you see now like
people that may have been in
00:21:30.92\00:21:35.16
your position, family, young
women or young girls that may
00:21:35.19\00:21:39.86
be having difficulties with
their family of origin. Are you
00:21:39.89\00:21:44.53
drawn towards that or?...
00:21:44.57\00:21:45.90
You know what, I am and
it's funny. I have a few people
00:21:45.93\00:21:49.50
now who are dealing with that
who for some reason always want
00:21:49.57\00:21:56.78
to talk to me. I do share my
experience with them and even
00:21:56.81\00:22:03.79
how I had to go within myself
and ask God to help me get over
00:22:03.82\00:22:10.03
this. Because you only have
one mother and you only have one
00:22:10.06\00:22:15.26
father. That's it. And I can't
go through the rest of my life
00:22:15.30\00:22:21.67
with that built up. And if you
have opportunity to talk to, sit
00:22:21.70\00:22:27.08
down and talk to them if they
would allow you. Now some have
00:22:27.11\00:22:32.58
tried and you know they shut
them down. So that's to me where
00:22:32.61\00:22:38.05
you have to do that within
yourself like I did because I
00:22:38.09\00:22:41.86
couldn't talk to my mother so
I had to go within and ask God
00:22:41.89\00:22:45.96
to help me get rid of this, get
rid of those feelings, get rid
00:22:45.99\00:22:50.03
of that
animosity and that hatred.
00:22:50.07\00:22:51.90
Can we talk about the
Alzheimer's What was that like
00:22:51.93\00:22:57.04
for you and explain to our
viewers what your mother went
00:22:57.07\00:23:03.95
through. That's a hard illness
to deal with because you see
00:23:03.98\00:23:09.98
them leaving you. They're there
physically but you see them,
00:23:10.02\00:23:15.96
they're like in their own world,
in another world. So as they
00:23:15.99\00:23:21.36
start going further and further
I say, into that world or into
00:23:21.40\00:23:26.77
that realm, it's like wow.
I hate to see that with anyone
00:23:26.80\00:23:33.04
and especially you know with
my mother. I'll never forget the
00:23:33.07\00:23:39.31
last time I saw her and my
sister-in-law also was there
00:23:39.35\00:23:44.45
and we were washing her and
getting her ready for bed and
00:23:44.52\00:23:49.56
everything and we looked at each
other. We could tell that she
00:23:49.62\00:23:55.03
was just getting tired. When
I put her to bed... She did have
00:23:55.06\00:24:01.54
those moments that she would
be clear. One time, I'm going to
00:24:01.57\00:24:07.01
step back, but one time they
brought her to Detroit and my
00:24:07.04\00:24:12.21
dad wanted to hear the CD that
I was working on. So there was
00:24:12.25\00:24:16.58
a particular song that he wanted
to hear. It was funny. She was
00:24:16.62\00:24:20.92
sitting there and I couldn't
find the song and she said
00:24:20.96\00:24:24.33
Joanne would you hurry up
and find that song so we can go.
00:24:24.36\00:24:28.16
So all of us, my brothers,
my dad, everybody just looked at
00:24:28.20\00:24:34.04
me like... I mean, so that was
a moment. But when she heard the
00:24:34.07\00:24:39.31
song you could tell it just kind
relaxed her, it just gave her
00:24:39.34\00:24:45.11
this calmness. So back to when
we were in Chicago the last time
00:24:45.15\00:24:50.59
I saw her alive, we got her
ready for bed. I got her in bed.
00:24:50.62\00:24:54.66
My sister-in-law went on down
stairs and I'm talking to her
00:24:54.69\00:24:58.66
in bed and cutting out the light
and I kissed her and she kissed
00:24:58.69\00:25:04.20
me on the lips and she said
I love you and my mother didn't
00:25:04.23\00:25:10.01
say I love you. And I said OK
good night. She said good night,
00:25:10.04\00:25:15.28
be careful and that was the last
time. She died two-and-a-half
00:25:15.31\00:25:20.55
weeks later. But I really
believe that she knew what she
00:25:20.58\00:25:26.76
was saying and she knew what
she was doing. I really believe
00:25:26.79\00:25:30.69
that. I know you miss your
parents but we are the body of
00:25:30.73\00:25:34.60
Christ. See Joanne and I grew up
in this church as children and
00:25:34.63\00:25:40.07
there are very few of us that
are still in this church and
00:25:40.10\00:25:45.54
when I say the church, the body
of Christ, salvation. Because
00:25:45.57\00:25:49.11
Jesus is coming and there's
nothing in this world more
00:25:49.14\00:25:53.45
important than your salvation.
For you to be lost and to know
00:25:53.52\00:25:58.19
that there's a Savior and to
know that Jesus is coming again
00:25:58.22\00:26:02.82
and for you to be out in
this world doing things that are
00:26:02.86\00:26:07.10
taking you away from Christ.
You've got to come back while
00:26:07.13\00:26:11.17
you have time. God called you
back home. He called you. You
came back to Christ.
00:26:11.20\00:26:15.17
You came back to
the blessed hope.
00:26:15.20\00:26:16.94
I guess that was what I was
waiting for. I wanted to hear
00:26:16.97\00:26:20.31
what was the motivation,
what brought you back.
00:26:20.34\00:26:24.48
(Deep sigh). Oh that's another
story. Oh wow, just being out
00:26:24.51\00:26:32.15
there so much happened. I mean
I've had guns in my face, I've
00:26:32.19\00:26:38.19
had... And I guess just tired
of that lifestyle. Just tired.
00:26:38.23\00:26:46.33
It's so much. Literally I've
had guns in my face, I've had...
00:26:46.37\00:26:53.48
Oh you don't want to know. But
you know what I just thank God
00:26:53.51\00:27:00.62
every day for his grace
and his mercy and I ask God to
00:27:00.65\00:27:04.55
sometimes just remind me
of where he brought me from
00:27:04.59\00:27:08.42
because that gives me empathy
to work with others. I also want
00:27:08.46\00:27:13.76
to say that my mother was not
a bad person at all, at all. She
00:27:13.80\00:27:19.37
was a very loving person. It was
just our relationship. Neither
00:27:19.40\00:27:24.94
one of my parents were bad
people. They were good people.
00:27:24.97\00:27:27.94
God fearing people. I just thank
God every day for his grace and
00:27:27.98\00:27:34.12
his mercy. I just got
tired of the lifestyle, tired.
00:27:34.15\00:27:37.42
Well it looks like you have
to come back for part three.
00:27:37.45\00:27:40.66
I'm so glad that you were able
to come and share that because
00:27:40.69\00:27:44.59
it's going to save someone.
Well listen. Undying commitment.
00:27:44.66\00:27:48.40
But most of all let us have
an undying commitment for Jesus
00:27:48.43\00:27:52.17
Christ so that we all
will be saved when he comes.
00:27:52.20\00:27:55.14
I'm Dr. Kim Logan Nowlan.
00:27:55.17\00:27:56.81
I just want to say trust in the
Lord with all your heart just
00:27:56.84\00:28:00.61
like you did, Joanne.
00:28:00.64\00:28:02.11
And lean not unto
your own understanding.
00:28:02.14\00:28:03.48
Yes, yes, and I'm Arthur Nowlan.
00:28:03.51\00:28:05.61
See he does that to me
sometimes. God bless him.
00:28:05.65\00:28:10.35