Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. I'm Arthur Nowlin. 00:00:01.36\00:00:03.23 And welcome to "Making It Work." 00:00:03.26\00:00:05.10 Arthur, today our program is entitled 00:00:36.50\00:00:38.90 "The Second Time Around." Wow. 00:00:38.93\00:00:41.37 You like that? Sounds interesting. 00:00:41.40\00:00:43.30 It's gonna be interesting. 00:00:43.34\00:00:44.97 I want to welcome our guest, 00:00:45.01\00:00:47.68 Mr. and Mrs. Danny and Lori Mann. 00:00:47.71\00:00:50.08 God bless you. Welcome. 00:00:50.11\00:00:51.45 Well, thank you for taking time out 00:00:53.31\00:00:54.68 to come and be with us. 00:00:54.72\00:00:56.32 Well, listen we want you to tell your testimony, 00:00:56.35\00:00:58.39 when we talk about the second time around, 00:00:58.42\00:01:00.72 we're talking about, how they married, 00:01:00.76\00:01:03.63 they divorced and then they remarried. 00:01:03.66\00:01:07.43 And we want them to tell you their story. 00:01:07.46\00:01:10.87 All right, who'd like to start? 00:01:10.90\00:01:13.67 I'll start. I'll start. All right, Lori. All right. 00:01:13.70\00:01:16.94 Well, we were at his father's funeral. 00:01:16.97\00:01:20.68 And I've learned to be obedient when guys speaks to me. 00:01:20.71\00:01:24.85 You have to listen and you have to be obedient. 00:01:24.88\00:01:27.78 And I was sitting in the back table, 00:01:27.82\00:01:30.69 with his cousins and we were talking having a good time, 00:01:30.72\00:01:33.22 and someone told you turn around 00:01:33.25\00:01:35.09 and go ask him to come back home. 00:01:35.12\00:01:36.73 Oh, no I can't do that. Didn't want to do that. 00:01:36.76\00:01:40.63 But I knew it was his sprit speaking to me. 00:01:40.66\00:01:43.40 But again I didn't want to be obedient. 00:01:43.43\00:01:47.54 But he has talked to me two more times 00:01:47.57\00:01:50.17 he said it again. 00:01:50.21\00:01:51.54 So I knew, I had to get up and at the end 00:01:51.57\00:01:55.94 I asked him to come back home, he thought it was a joke. 00:01:55.98\00:01:59.85 But I wasn't joking, I was serious 00:01:59.88\00:02:02.52 and it went from there. 00:02:02.55\00:02:05.29 Wow. 00:02:05.32\00:02:06.65 What was the timeframe from the marriage 00:02:06.69\00:02:08.89 to the divorce to your reconciling, 00:02:08.92\00:02:11.39 you remarried? 00:02:11.43\00:02:13.09 Yes. Okay. 00:02:13.13\00:02:14.53 What was the timeframe, you've been married 23 years-- 00:02:14.56\00:02:18.30 All together now, we were divorced 7. 00:02:18.33\00:02:21.27 You were divorced 7 years? Yes. 00:02:21.30\00:02:23.51 All right, so did you all stay in contact with one another, 00:02:23.54\00:02:26.37 because you have children, you have two children? 00:02:26.41\00:02:27.74 Right. 00:02:27.78\00:02:29.11 So you communicated about the children? 00:02:29.14\00:02:30.98 Not really. No. Not really? 00:02:31.01\00:02:32.71 Okay, Mr. Mann, why was there no communication with you 00:02:32.75\00:02:35.98 about the children? 00:02:36.02\00:02:38.65 Well, there was slightly communication 00:02:38.69\00:02:42.26 about the children. 00:02:42.29\00:02:44.49 We did talk, sometime. 00:02:44.53\00:02:50.30 But it was where one point... 00:02:50.33\00:02:52.63 I decided to just go my way. 00:02:56.17\00:02:59.57 Where you angry? 00:02:59.61\00:03:02.71 What was it making you to make this decision? 00:03:02.74\00:03:05.21 Well, it wasn't anger, it was... 00:03:05.25\00:03:08.38 Bitterness, anger. 00:03:12.39\00:03:15.29 You think so? I think so. 00:03:15.32\00:03:16.96 Why do you say that? 00:03:16.99\00:03:18.33 I think so, I don't know 00:03:18.36\00:03:19.69 maybe because of the way we broke up, 00:03:19.73\00:03:21.60 and things that were going on in our lives and, you know, 00:03:21.63\00:03:26.33 we weren't putting God first in our life sorts of all. 00:03:26.37\00:03:29.30 Were you both attending church at that time? 00:03:29.34\00:03:30.84 No. 00:03:30.87\00:03:32.21 Neither one of you were in the body of Christ? 00:03:32.24\00:03:33.58 No. Okay. 00:03:33.61\00:03:34.94 but since that time you've are in the body of Christ. 00:03:34.98\00:03:36.81 Right. Okay. 00:03:36.85\00:03:38.21 We're talking about selling you a period, 00:03:38.25\00:03:42.25 where the children didn't have their parents together. 00:03:42.28\00:03:46.32 How was that making an impact with you, 00:03:46.35\00:03:48.42 because you were keeping the children? 00:03:48.46\00:03:50.63 Right. 00:03:50.66\00:03:51.99 You know, and you were taking care of your family. 00:03:52.03\00:03:53.86 I knew, I had to get back to basics. 00:03:53.90\00:03:55.73 And I knew, I had to get back to where-- 00:03:55.76\00:03:57.43 Explain your basics, when you say that? 00:03:57.47\00:03:59.50 Foundation, God, 00:03:59.53\00:04:02.07 and I was raised that way and I strayed away. 00:04:02.10\00:04:06.21 And I know, I had to get back for them, 00:04:06.24\00:04:08.78 because I had to lay that foundation for them. 00:04:08.81\00:04:11.41 So I started going to different churches, visiting 00:04:11.45\00:04:16.69 and until I found one where we could join. 00:04:16.72\00:04:22.86 You know, and I had prayed and asked God to direct me. 00:04:22.89\00:04:26.16 And give me strength and put me where he wanted me to be. 00:04:26.19\00:04:30.03 Then after the divorce. 00:04:30.07\00:04:31.70 I mean, what were you feeling, what were you thinking about? 00:04:31.73\00:04:35.60 You know, you thinking 00:04:35.64\00:04:37.21 that this was just the end of your family 00:04:37.24\00:04:39.91 or, you know, 'cause I guess a lot of men get to the point 00:04:39.94\00:04:43.21 where it becomes difficult for them to deal with family 00:04:43.24\00:04:46.95 after a traumatic situation like that. 00:04:46.98\00:04:50.79 Well, honestly 00:04:50.82\00:04:54.76 I tried the single life with many. 00:04:54.79\00:04:59.53 Okay. And it didn't fit me. 00:04:59.56\00:05:03.57 Okay. 00:05:03.60\00:05:04.97 Because-- 00:05:05.00\00:05:08.17 Basically all my adult life, I've been in a marital status. 00:05:08.20\00:05:14.74 Okay. 00:05:14.78\00:05:16.11 Because I was married before we met. 00:05:16.14\00:05:20.72 So she is my second wife. Okay. 00:05:20.75\00:05:22.98 So I got married before so, I got married at the age of 20. 00:05:23.02\00:05:27.29 So I've always been in a marital status. 00:05:27.32\00:05:29.92 And I realized I just couldn't do it, 00:05:29.96\00:05:35.13 you know, that single life. 00:05:35.16\00:05:36.83 So you were going through a lot of pain 00:05:36.87\00:05:38.50 during this separation and divorce and-- 00:05:38.53\00:05:42.40 That's loneliness-- 00:05:42.44\00:05:43.81 Loneliness. Yeah. You know. 00:05:43.84\00:05:47.01 And what was going on through-- 00:05:47.04\00:05:48.61 I was having a good life. 00:05:48.64\00:05:50.75 Lori, you weren't missing your husband? 00:05:50.78\00:05:54.02 No, honestly no. 00:05:54.05\00:05:55.98 Okay, tell us why? I had a good time. 00:05:56.02\00:05:57.39 Tell us why? 00:05:57.42\00:05:58.75 I enjoyed being single, because I like him. 00:05:58.79\00:06:01.99 I didn't get married, he was my first husband. 00:06:02.02\00:06:04.43 and we got, when I married Danny, I was 28. 00:06:04.46\00:06:09.06 So I had lived a single life, you know, 00:06:09.10\00:06:13.44 I went to college and to have my own place and-- 00:06:13.47\00:06:18.41 got out there, you know, 00:06:18.44\00:06:20.01 so it was a new beginning for me to rejuvenate myself 00:06:20.04\00:06:24.98 and find myself again so-- 00:06:25.01\00:06:27.58 Did you redefine yourself after you got divorce? 00:06:27.62\00:06:30.12 I sure did. 00:06:30.15\00:06:31.49 And what was that definition that you could define? 00:06:31.52\00:06:33.72 That I could do it by myself. 00:06:33.76\00:06:36.22 That I didn't need any help, 00:06:36.26\00:06:38.46 and I was proud of myself for that, you know. 00:06:38.49\00:06:42.53 Okay so here we are, you both were separated, 00:06:42.56\00:06:46.40 divorced, you know, you have a good time 00:06:46.43\00:06:50.07 but yet, you get the Holy Spirit talking to you 00:06:50.11\00:06:55.58 about this is not what I want for you. 00:06:55.61\00:06:58.48 Right. 00:06:58.51\00:06:59.85 You know, and it started nagging at you 00:06:59.88\00:07:01.98 I mean, it started becoming more stronger. 00:07:02.02\00:07:04.42 Yeah. 00:07:04.45\00:07:05.79 And it's interesting because 00:07:05.82\00:07:07.16 you weren't in the body of Christ 00:07:07.19\00:07:08.52 or did you become in the body of Christ 00:07:08.56\00:07:09.89 during the separation? 00:07:09.92\00:07:11.39 During the separation. Yes. You joined a church. 00:07:11.43\00:07:14.26 All right, so you and the children 00:07:14.30\00:07:15.63 started going to church? 00:07:15.66\00:07:17.00 Yes. 00:07:17.03\00:07:18.37 You know, was that a difficult transition for them 00:07:18.40\00:07:19.73 to start going to church, 00:07:19.77\00:07:21.37 and where they had not been raised in the church 00:07:21.40\00:07:23.67 were difficult for them? 00:07:23.71\00:07:26.04 Well, when we started going, 00:07:26.07\00:07:28.18 I think my son was about four. 00:07:28.21\00:07:33.52 Oh, so he is very young. Okay. 00:07:33.55\00:07:35.22 He was around four years old. 00:07:35.25\00:07:36.58 So I had to introduce him to going to church 00:07:36.62\00:07:40.69 and how to behave, 00:07:40.72\00:07:42.06 how to sustain and listen that was the job 00:07:42.09\00:07:45.89 you know, I was stuck with it. 00:07:45.93\00:07:47.30 Sure. Yeah. 00:07:47.33\00:07:48.66 So in the midst of all of that you were having a good time, 00:07:48.70\00:07:51.30 you had the children. 00:07:51.33\00:07:52.73 You're working doing your thing, 00:07:52.77\00:07:54.50 so it was not reaching out to him about, 00:07:54.54\00:07:57.51 when you're coming to see the children, 00:07:57.54\00:07:59.57 how are you, nothing? 00:07:59.61\00:08:01.24 Not really, no. Okay. 00:08:01.28\00:08:03.14 Because we had gone according, 00:08:03.18\00:08:04.68 he had shun on DJ for every other weekend. 00:08:04.71\00:08:10.72 Oh, so he saw them so you had parenting time. 00:08:10.75\00:08:12.95 Yes. Okay. 00:08:12.99\00:08:14.89 So even in a process of you've been independent. 00:08:14.92\00:08:19.73 You know, we're still looking at something was driving you, 00:08:19.76\00:08:25.27 you know, to get your marriage back on track. 00:08:25.30\00:08:29.20 And yet you responded. 00:08:29.24\00:08:32.37 'Cause we have to be obedient. Okay. 00:08:32.41\00:08:35.04 And I've learned that, and I've learned that, 00:08:35.08\00:08:37.88 you know really the hard way and when he talks to you, 00:08:37.91\00:08:42.22 you have to do what he says. 00:08:42.25\00:08:44.45 When he says it 00:08:44.49\00:08:45.95 because there is a window of opportunity 00:08:45.99\00:08:48.19 that he is giving you. 00:08:48.22\00:08:49.82 And if you don't take it, you gonna lose it. 00:08:49.86\00:08:52.69 Wow. And you can't get that back. 00:08:52.73\00:08:56.20 So you said, that he at first he thought it was a joke. 00:08:56.23\00:08:58.60 How soon thereafter did he say, are you serious? 00:08:58.63\00:09:03.41 Well, about a week later, week or so later. 00:09:03.44\00:09:07.48 About a week later? Yes. 00:09:07.51\00:09:08.91 Almost two weeks. Almost two weeks? 00:09:08.94\00:09:11.41 So it was, but in the mean time you're thinking that, 00:09:11.45\00:09:14.88 this might be able to be something 00:09:14.92\00:09:16.69 that you wanted to do. 00:09:16.72\00:09:18.55 Well, you know exact I prayed only myself. 00:09:18.59\00:09:22.29 You know, ask Lord, you know, for help me. 00:09:22.32\00:09:28.30 I was sad, didn't like this single life. 00:09:28.33\00:09:30.77 Tried it and it just wasn't me. 00:09:30.80\00:09:34.84 I'm a type of person that-- 00:09:34.87\00:09:39.01 enjoy a curfew. 00:09:39.04\00:09:42.01 That's a good way. 00:09:42.04\00:09:43.38 I can't be outrageous all night long. 00:09:43.41\00:09:47.28 And I just can't do it. 00:09:47.32\00:09:50.32 So, I guess I prayed on it, and she asked me to come home. 00:09:50.35\00:09:57.19 I just said, do you think it serious? 00:09:57.23\00:10:02.03 And just had to make sure she was since she-- 00:10:02.06\00:10:05.57 Well, how did you make sure? 00:10:05.60\00:10:07.20 Well, I just waited it out really, just waited out. 00:10:10.44\00:10:13.07 We talk, we said and we talk with the kids. 00:10:13.11\00:10:17.81 And I asked them how do they feel about it 00:10:17.85\00:10:20.65 and made my decision from there. 00:10:20.68\00:10:23.49 So what was the response from the children, you know, 00:10:23.52\00:10:25.95 when you sat down and talk to them 00:10:25.99\00:10:27.42 and telling your intentions? 00:10:27.46\00:10:30.73 They was-- 00:10:30.76\00:10:33.53 My son was happy about it, 00:10:33.56\00:10:35.96 my daughter, she was okay. 00:10:36.00\00:10:41.10 Because she was old and she probably saw more, 00:10:41.14\00:10:43.37 she heard more. 00:10:43.41\00:10:44.74 Right. 00:10:44.77\00:10:46.11 Okay, so in that transition, you know, the pain 00:10:46.14\00:10:49.51 or holding on to something was difficult for her, 00:10:49.54\00:10:52.91 because you were reminder of that pain. 00:10:52.95\00:10:54.75 Right. Probably, so yes. 00:10:54.78\00:10:56.75 All right. 00:10:56.79\00:10:58.12 She might have been a little angry 00:10:58.15\00:10:59.49 about the divorce in the first phase 00:10:59.52\00:11:01.32 about how it ended. 00:11:01.36\00:11:03.46 Right. 00:11:03.49\00:11:04.83 So that might be one of the things 00:11:04.86\00:11:06.19 that may have come across. 00:11:06.23\00:11:08.26 How's your relationship with her now? 00:11:08.30\00:11:11.07 It's good, it's really good. What makes it good now? 00:11:11.10\00:11:14.64 Well, we talk about it, 00:11:14.67\00:11:17.04 and spend a lot of time together. 00:11:17.07\00:11:20.24 Do you think it's important that fathers and daughters 00:11:20.28\00:11:22.41 have their quality time together? 00:11:22.44\00:11:25.25 I think they should have more, because see it... 00:11:25.28\00:11:31.15 Shows the child-- 00:11:34.19\00:11:38.69 What it means for us supposed to do 00:11:38.73\00:11:41.43 and they are like and how again how I was gonna treat them. 00:11:41.46\00:11:48.00 Well, I want to go back to what caused divorce 00:11:48.04\00:11:51.87 in the first place? 00:11:51.91\00:11:54.74 What caused the divorce in the first place, 00:11:54.78\00:11:57.48 first of all break down in communication 00:11:57.51\00:11:59.55 and alcoholism. 00:11:59.58\00:12:03.92 Okay. 00:12:03.95\00:12:05.29 And whose part was the alcoholism? 00:12:05.32\00:12:08.16 Danny's. 00:12:08.19\00:12:09.52 So that impacted the entire family? 00:12:09.56\00:12:12.03 Yeah. 00:12:12.06\00:12:13.56 It caused the dynamics of the entire family household. 00:12:13.60\00:12:19.93 Did your husband come home intoxicated? 00:12:19.97\00:12:22.24 Yes. Was he abusive? 00:12:22.27\00:12:24.57 No. Never violent, no. He never abused? Never violent? 00:12:24.61\00:12:26.78 He wasn't violent, we didn't fight, 00:12:26.81\00:12:29.44 he didn't jump on me, didn't none of that. 00:12:29.48\00:12:32.28 It was just not doing what he was supposed to do 00:12:32.31\00:12:36.65 as the man in our household. 00:12:36.69\00:12:38.59 He was working during that particular time? 00:12:38.62\00:12:39.99 Oh, yeah. 00:12:40.02\00:12:41.36 So functioning, would you consider him alcoholic 00:12:41.39\00:12:43.66 or that he just indulged? 00:12:43.69\00:12:45.29 He was a functioning alcoholic. 00:12:45.33\00:12:47.86 You know, a function alcoholic. Yes. 00:12:47.90\00:12:49.70 All right, Danny, you know, I like some feedback from you. 00:12:49.73\00:12:53.90 You know. I find it funny. 00:12:53.94\00:12:57.81 Okay. 00:12:57.84\00:13:00.41 I drunk a lot, I will admit that. 00:13:00.44\00:13:06.15 Why did you drink so much? 00:13:06.18\00:13:07.52 I've seen miscommunication-- 00:13:10.42\00:13:12.89 The communication just wasn't clear enough in the household-- 00:13:17.39\00:13:20.60 Okay. In my opinion. 00:13:20.63\00:13:22.00 Okay, so you're telling me that the communication 00:13:22.03\00:13:26.70 you using that as a reason why you drank? 00:13:26.74\00:13:28.74 Yes. 00:13:28.77\00:13:30.11 So are you blaming your wife that you drink? 00:13:30.14\00:13:32.57 No I'm not, I don't point a finger. 00:13:32.61\00:13:34.71 And like I told her and I always told her. 00:13:34.74\00:13:36.91 I'm not accusing you or blaming you for anything. 00:13:36.95\00:13:41.02 But what I'm saying to you, 00:13:41.05\00:13:43.55 you're the reason for my drinking 00:13:43.59\00:13:46.82 is because of your behavior. 00:13:46.86\00:13:49.79 Now how long you gonna stand that 00:13:49.82\00:13:52.86 or I can bring it down any further-- 00:13:52.89\00:13:56.87 Okay, so you're telling about the behavior of your wife. 00:13:56.90\00:14:00.07 And how you responded to that was drinking. 00:14:00.10\00:14:05.67 The reason why I did, well I did. 00:14:05.71\00:14:08.04 Okay. All right. 00:14:08.08\00:14:09.41 Was the communication to a point 00:14:09.44\00:14:10.88 where you just couldn't talk about the problems 00:14:10.91\00:14:14.75 or the issues that were going on in the household? 00:14:14.78\00:14:18.85 We didn't talk about it. Okay. 00:14:18.89\00:14:21.72 Did your wife ever approached you 00:14:21.76\00:14:23.09 and tried to talk to you about? 00:14:23.12\00:14:24.46 No, we didn't had that type of relationship. 00:14:24.49\00:14:29.46 At one particular time, it was all funny game, 00:14:29.50\00:14:34.27 we enjoyed, we hate, we always enjoyed one another 00:14:34.30\00:14:38.17 but for a serious conversation 00:14:38.21\00:14:42.38 on feelings never came about. 00:14:42.41\00:14:48.15 Lori, during this time did you drink? 00:14:48.18\00:14:50.89 Yeah, I indulged. 00:14:50.92\00:14:52.25 Did you indulged together? 00:14:52.29\00:14:53.89 Sometimes, yes. Okay. 00:14:53.92\00:14:55.52 So when did the change happen 00:14:55.56\00:14:57.06 when the alcohol was no longer fun 00:14:57.09\00:14:58.89 or it was impacting the family, because you both were drinking? 00:14:58.93\00:15:05.33 That's hard to say. 00:15:05.37\00:15:07.84 So did you stop, and your husband didn't stop? 00:15:07.87\00:15:11.37 I wasn't a functional drinker. 00:15:11.41\00:15:13.38 I didn't, not gonna drink and go to work. 00:15:13.41\00:15:15.71 So I wasn't drinking on a daily basis, 00:15:15.74\00:15:19.05 weekend yes. 00:15:19.08\00:15:21.25 You partied on weekends? Okay. Yes. 00:15:21.28\00:15:23.89 Yes, and we partied with each other, you know. 00:15:23.92\00:15:28.36 But, things just started getting in a way 00:15:28.39\00:15:32.69 and bills weren't getting paid. 00:15:32.73\00:15:35.96 And we weren't communicating 00:15:36.00\00:15:37.73 and it just started going down here from there. 00:15:37.77\00:15:40.74 Why do you think the communication didn't work? 00:15:40.77\00:15:46.47 Because we didn't try to make it work. 00:15:46.51\00:15:48.54 We didn't try to talk to each other. 00:15:48.58\00:15:50.58 And again still the main thing is that we weren't in church. 00:15:50.61\00:15:55.75 We weren't going. 00:15:55.78\00:15:57.59 And we both were raised in church, 00:15:57.62\00:15:59.72 so we both move better. 00:15:59.75\00:16:03.06 I can't, excuse me, baby. 00:16:03.09\00:16:04.69 But I can say this though. 00:16:04.73\00:16:08.16 Without God in your life, you're lost. 00:16:08.20\00:16:13.03 It is a Bible line, you're lost. 00:16:13.07\00:16:15.27 And you came to that conclusion. 00:16:15.30\00:16:18.77 After things fell apart. Yes. Right. 00:16:18.81\00:16:23.21 So you had to go to your bottom line, 00:16:23.24\00:16:26.05 you know, hit your bottom 00:16:26.08\00:16:27.42 and then trying to work yourself with backup. 00:16:27.45\00:16:29.82 Right. 00:16:29.85\00:16:31.45 Well, how has it been now the second time around, 00:16:31.49\00:16:33.86 you know, the happier times, you know, coming back together, 00:16:33.89\00:16:38.59 you know, no longer the alcohol, 00:16:38.63\00:16:40.43 you no longer drinking Mr. Mann? 00:16:40.46\00:16:41.80 No. 00:16:41.83\00:16:43.16 Okay, and both of you are attending churches. 00:16:43.20\00:16:45.77 Now this is interesting. 00:16:45.80\00:16:47.64 They attend two different churches, 00:16:47.67\00:16:51.01 and that has been a dynamic 00:16:51.04\00:16:52.91 or variable in the relationship. 00:16:52.94\00:16:55.14 You know, but lately something has happened, 00:16:55.18\00:16:57.51 tell us about that? 00:16:57.55\00:16:59.38 We have come to a compromise 00:16:59.41\00:17:01.28 that we will attend each others churches. 00:17:01.32\00:17:05.12 He will come to mine once in month, which he did, 00:17:05.15\00:17:07.42 this morning great church service 00:17:07.46\00:17:09.92 and me and the kids will go to his church once a month. 00:17:09.96\00:17:13.56 Okay. So, that's working out. 00:17:13.60\00:17:16.23 And guess what, and the reason 00:17:16.26\00:17:17.60 you're in two different churches 00:17:17.63\00:17:18.97 is because of your responsibility 00:17:19.00\00:17:20.54 that you each have 00:17:20.57\00:17:22.04 and you have two different churches. 00:17:22.07\00:17:23.41 Now, were you into different churches when you remarried? 00:17:23.44\00:17:26.91 Yes. 00:17:26.94\00:17:28.28 I see and so that's something, you know, and then bringing it, 00:17:28.31\00:17:32.65 and making a decision about joining one church. 00:17:32.68\00:17:36.38 Is that on the table now, 00:17:36.42\00:17:38.15 looking at there is a possibility? 00:17:38.19\00:17:40.36 And we're taking just one step at a time. 00:17:40.39\00:17:42.56 One step at a time. 00:17:42.59\00:17:44.29 The loving prayer. All right, all right. 00:17:44.33\00:17:45.66 But you love your church, and you love your church. 00:17:45.69\00:17:48.00 Okay, all right. 00:17:48.03\00:17:49.63 There is another show in this stepping, another program. 00:17:49.66\00:17:52.00 Let me ask, you know, 00:17:52.03\00:17:53.74 about how your relationship is now? 00:17:53.77\00:17:58.11 You know, I mean, you know, the communication was a issue. 00:17:58.14\00:18:02.71 How have you progressed from that? 00:18:02.74\00:18:05.78 Do you talk on a regular basis, you know, 00:18:05.81\00:18:08.05 the family meetings, what's going on? 00:18:08.08\00:18:11.09 Well, let me answer it. Sure. 00:18:11.12\00:18:12.65 At first, it was a little difficult. 00:18:12.69\00:18:18.19 I mean we were just trying to put it together, 00:18:18.23\00:18:21.40 it was a little difficult, 00:18:21.43\00:18:23.13 so what we decided to do and that was, 00:18:23.16\00:18:26.37 come see what you've all got. 00:18:26.40\00:18:30.04 And you all open up, 00:18:30.07\00:18:36.14 a gateway for us. 00:18:36.18\00:18:37.81 I just say that, where we have fun together now. 00:18:37.85\00:18:44.05 We talk all the time, discuss everything, 00:18:44.09\00:18:48.09 laugh and joke about many things. 00:18:48.12\00:18:49.46 The whole family? 00:18:49.49\00:18:50.83 It was to a point where I'll sit 00:18:50.86\00:18:53.76 and watch TV with her now. 00:18:53.80\00:18:56.46 What's your favorite program, Danny? 00:18:56.50\00:18:59.47 Lena Hall. 00:18:59.50\00:19:00.84 Okay. All right. 00:19:03.61\00:19:07.11 But it's been a beautiful thing. 00:19:07.14\00:19:09.61 Excellent, so how has it been for you? 00:19:09.64\00:19:12.11 It's a lot better, lot better, 00:19:12.15\00:19:14.88 and communication is a lot better. 00:19:14.92\00:19:17.79 We both listen to each other instead of, you know, 00:19:17.82\00:19:22.72 trying to over talk each other. 00:19:22.76\00:19:24.36 Don't forget our morning prayer. 00:19:24.39\00:19:25.73 Oh yeah, we pray together now every morning. 00:19:25.76\00:19:28.66 Praise the Lord. 00:19:28.70\00:19:31.53 On Mondays, I don't work on Mondays, 00:19:31.57\00:19:34.14 so we make that our day to go out 00:19:34.17\00:19:36.50 and do something together. 00:19:36.54\00:19:38.47 We go to the show, go for lunch. 00:19:38.51\00:19:40.84 You have a date day? Yeah. 00:19:40.88\00:19:42.28 Nice. Okay. 00:19:42.31\00:19:44.91 And, you know, it's been great. Oh, that's impressive. 00:19:44.95\00:19:48.78 Are you enjoying your date day, Danny? 00:19:48.82\00:19:50.32 Love it. 00:19:50.35\00:19:52.82 Well, I have a question, wanted to know, 00:19:52.85\00:19:55.62 how did you quit drinking, 00:19:55.66\00:19:58.43 you know, it's very hard for individuals 00:19:58.46\00:20:01.43 who use alcohol as a substance, what did you do? 00:20:01.46\00:20:05.10 I gave it to the Lord. And I prayed on it. 00:20:09.47\00:20:14.54 And I asked Him to take that taste 00:20:14.58\00:20:18.08 out of my mouth. 00:20:18.11\00:20:19.45 Okay. 00:20:19.48\00:20:20.82 He's still strong on his word and he did it. 00:20:23.49\00:20:28.19 That's all-- You were ready? 00:20:28.22\00:20:30.36 I was ready. Yeah. 00:20:30.39\00:20:31.73 I was tired and I was ready. Yeah 00:20:31.76\00:20:34.06 So that's important to bring out the fact 00:20:34.10\00:20:36.53 that when you get to a point 00:20:36.56\00:20:38.13 and you're ready to stop drinking 00:20:38.17\00:20:41.24 that God will give you this extra burst of strength 00:20:41.27\00:20:45.07 to resist. 00:20:45.11\00:20:46.78 I commend you for that. 00:20:46.81\00:20:48.48 But let me ask you this follow up question. 00:20:48.51\00:20:52.35 When you stop drinking, 00:20:52.38\00:20:53.72 a lot of times when people recognize 00:20:53.75\00:20:55.95 that they have a problem drinking 00:20:55.98\00:20:57.32 and they stop drinking because of whatever reason, 00:20:57.35\00:21:00.26 because of family or health. 00:21:00.29\00:21:02.72 Sometimes they get to a point where they become angry, 00:21:02.76\00:21:06.73 because they had to stop drinking. 00:21:06.76\00:21:09.63 Did you get to that point? Angry? 00:21:09.66\00:21:14.14 I didn't think so. 00:21:14.17\00:21:16.81 She always tell I was angry, but I don't think I was angry. 00:21:16.84\00:21:21.01 Maybe I was, I don't know. 00:21:21.04\00:21:23.88 Did you notice the difference? He was obeying. 00:21:23.91\00:21:26.01 Okay. He was obeying. 00:21:26.05\00:21:29.05 But did not hurt me any anymore. 00:21:29.08\00:21:30.52 Okay. 00:21:30.55\00:21:31.89 So when you come home from work now, you know, 00:21:31.92\00:21:34.36 that down there was a husband who is completely different? 00:21:34.39\00:21:36.59 Yes. And that's nice. 00:21:36.62\00:21:38.19 It's peace. Peaceful. 00:21:38.23\00:21:40.16 That's fine to know. Yeah. 00:21:40.20\00:21:42.80 What do the children saying now about you two 00:21:42.83\00:21:45.27 and your new found love in relationship? 00:21:45.30\00:21:48.67 They don't says much 00:21:48.70\00:21:50.04 but, you can tell that they're better too. 00:21:50.07\00:21:52.74 Oh, that's beautiful. They're better also. 00:21:52.77\00:21:54.88 How was that first day when Danny came to church 00:21:54.91\00:21:59.28 and joined you all at church, 00:21:59.31\00:22:00.95 you know, what was the reaction, 00:22:00.98\00:22:02.32 did they know he was coming? 00:22:02.35\00:22:03.79 Sure, no one did. 00:22:03.82\00:22:05.35 I don't think they knew that he was coming. 00:22:05.39\00:22:07.19 So he surprised them. Yeah. 00:22:07.22\00:22:09.49 Okay. But it was nice. 00:22:09.52\00:22:11.76 They were happy and proud. That's a blessing. 00:22:11.79\00:22:14.03 Let me ask, what are some of the goals 00:22:14.06\00:22:15.56 that you have for your family now? 00:22:15.60\00:22:16.97 Yes. 00:22:17.00\00:22:18.33 You know, certain goals that you have 00:22:18.37\00:22:19.70 for your relationship? 00:22:19.73\00:22:22.60 Right now my goal is-- 00:22:22.64\00:22:27.28 I have four years to retire and I'm just, 00:22:27.31\00:22:30.78 I want to work towards retiring 00:22:30.81\00:22:33.35 and before I was moving out of state. 00:22:33.38\00:22:36.72 Okay. 00:22:36.75\00:22:38.09 That's what my goal is to us right now. 00:22:38.12\00:22:40.92 And seeing Charnel finish school 00:22:40.96\00:22:44.99 and getting DJ off 00:22:45.03\00:22:46.49 and me and Danny just enjoying ourselves. 00:22:46.53\00:22:50.17 I mean that's where I'm. That's right. 00:22:50.20\00:22:52.07 That's where we are. He is there where I am. 00:22:52.10\00:22:54.30 Okay. 00:22:54.34\00:22:55.70 Any particular location that you like to move to? 00:22:55.74\00:22:58.84 I like to go out west. 00:22:58.87\00:23:00.21 Really? Yeah. 00:23:00.24\00:23:02.24 No more snow and cold weather. 00:23:02.28\00:23:04.15 I want to swim in pool in the backyard. 00:23:04.18\00:23:07.22 You want a swimming pool? Yes. 00:23:07.25\00:23:08.82 You don't miss the snow. I don't care. 00:23:08.85\00:23:13.56 Well, that's where my goal, our goal is. 00:23:13.59\00:23:15.99 Yes, that's beautiful. 00:23:16.02\00:23:17.69 And so you go along with that, didn't you? 00:23:17.73\00:23:19.23 Oh, yeah. No, problem. 00:23:19.26\00:23:22.53 You know, when you think about the goodness of Lord 00:23:22.56\00:23:24.73 and all He has been to you, you know, 00:23:24.77\00:23:27.50 of all the scriptures in the Bible, 00:23:27.54\00:23:29.14 is any particular scripture that comes to mind 00:23:29.17\00:23:31.54 that helps you over those hurdles everyday? 00:23:31.57\00:23:34.44 "My help cometh from the Lord." 00:23:34.48\00:23:38.71 "And look to the hills, from whence cometh my help." 00:23:38.75\00:23:41.48 My help comes from the Lord, 00:23:41.52\00:23:42.85 Danny, is there a favorite scripture that you use? 00:23:42.88\00:23:46.32 There is one that I wake up on every morning 00:23:46.35\00:23:51.63 and that goes, 00:23:51.66\00:23:54.00 "This is the day that Lord have made, 00:23:54.03\00:23:57.20 let us rejoice and be strong in it." 00:23:57.23\00:23:59.70 Yes. 00:23:59.73\00:24:01.07 And I take that and just carry out my day with it. 00:24:01.10\00:24:05.01 Wow. Praise the Lord. 00:24:05.04\00:24:06.47 How important is the power of prayer 00:24:06.51\00:24:08.44 in your relationship now? 00:24:08.48\00:24:09.98 It's very important. Why? 00:24:10.01\00:24:12.71 Because as I just mentioned before, 00:24:12.75\00:24:16.28 we need the Lord in our life to guide our steps, you know, 00:24:16.32\00:24:20.42 to guide our tongue, to guide our ears, 00:24:20.46\00:24:23.79 open our ears to hear one another, you know, 00:24:23.83\00:24:29.10 so when she speak, you know, I listen and vice-versa. 00:24:29.13\00:24:35.24 And with our prayer, 00:24:35.27\00:24:37.57 that morning prayer we pray for one another every morning, 00:24:37.61\00:24:41.01 you know, so as a day go on 00:24:41.04\00:24:44.08 we just, just enjoy one another. 00:24:44.11\00:24:47.65 I just want to say, that I think you both 00:24:47.68\00:24:50.29 are so motivating, you know, you have truly a story to tell. 00:24:50.32\00:24:55.32 And I just see the Lord 00:24:55.36\00:24:56.83 using you in a mighty, mighty way 00:24:56.86\00:24:58.89 as you continue to get stronger in health. 00:24:58.93\00:25:02.70 I mean it's such an uniqueness in your story. 00:25:02.73\00:25:05.40 Oh, yes. 00:25:05.43\00:25:06.77 And the Lord has truly, truly blessed you. 00:25:06.80\00:25:09.57 So we'll keep you in our prayers 00:25:09.60\00:25:12.14 and we're gonna maintain our relationship with you. 00:25:12.17\00:25:15.54 All right. 00:25:15.58\00:25:16.91 I want to be able to say that 00:25:16.95\00:25:18.28 I know that God allowed this second time around 00:25:18.31\00:25:21.65 because He has a ministry for you to do. 00:25:21.68\00:25:23.39 Yes. 00:25:23.42\00:25:24.75 He has a work for you to do, and you're doing it right now. 00:25:24.79\00:25:26.65 Can you look at that camera 00:25:26.69\00:25:28.66 and tell another couple going through, 00:25:28.69\00:25:32.19 who's may be dealing with what you've dealt with. 00:25:32.23\00:25:34.76 How they could continue to make it work? 00:25:34.80\00:25:38.20 You can make it work by being obedient, 00:25:38.23\00:25:41.04 and listen to God when He speaks. 00:25:41.07\00:25:43.84 Do what He says, give Him His time, 00:25:43.87\00:25:47.58 and be faithful and honorable. 00:25:47.61\00:25:51.38 And He'll work it out, He worked it out for us, 00:25:51.41\00:25:53.72 I know if He worked it out for us, 00:25:53.75\00:25:55.12 so He'll do it for you too. 00:25:55.15\00:25:56.48 Amen. That's right. 00:25:56.52\00:25:58.02 And Danny? 00:25:58.05\00:25:59.55 Just keep the Lord in the forefront of your lives 00:25:59.59\00:26:02.79 at all the time. 00:26:02.82\00:26:04.23 Amen. Amen. 00:26:04.26\00:26:05.89 Oh, that's so beautiful. 00:26:05.93\00:26:07.83 You know, Arthur I really enjoy, you know, 00:26:07.86\00:26:11.23 being in private practice together here in Detroit, 00:26:11.27\00:26:14.07 being able to counsel people like you. 00:26:14.10\00:26:16.74 And then seeing, you know, the beginning to the end 00:26:16.77\00:26:20.44 and what God can do. 00:26:20.48\00:26:22.24 You know, and we want to just continue 00:26:22.28\00:26:24.45 to be a part of your lives, you're part of ours. 00:26:24.48\00:26:26.85 And how and what God is yet to do 00:26:26.88\00:26:29.45 for the two of you. 00:26:29.48\00:26:30.82 And you just don't have any idea 00:26:30.85\00:26:32.29 how He's gonna uplifts you, 00:26:32.32\00:26:33.96 He has a mighty work in store for you. 00:26:33.99\00:26:36.62 He just want you to come to one church. 00:26:36.66\00:26:41.43 Oh, one day at a time. One day at a time. 00:26:41.46\00:26:46.03 You know, so to our viewers, second time around can be good. 00:26:46.07\00:26:50.97 You have devastation, there's hurt, 00:26:51.01\00:26:52.74 there're problems in all our lives. 00:26:52.77\00:26:54.81 But I can do all things through Christ 00:26:54.84\00:26:57.15 who strengthens me. 00:26:57.18\00:26:58.65 And no matter what God can see us through, 00:26:58.68\00:27:02.02 I'm Doctor Kim Logan-Nowlin. I'm Arthur Nowlin. 00:27:02.05\00:27:04.42 Continue to make it work. 00:27:04.45\00:27:05.89 God bless. 00:27:05.92\00:27:07.26