Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
And I'm Arthur Nowlin.
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And welcome to making it work.
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Oh, Arthur, I got
a scripture for you.
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Okay, come up with.
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You ready? Yeah.
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"He who finds a wife,
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finds a good and
receives favor from the Lord."
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Proverbs 8:22.
Wow. That's fantastic.
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He that finds the good wife.
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I'm still
looking for that favor.
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Well, you got the good
wife? I got the good wife.
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You remember how we
met? You know, well...
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Yeah, I can remember that.
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I'm going to
the part in the bank
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where after I met you,
you didn't recognize me.
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And I was so
embarrassed, I ran out.
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You were running
all over the place.
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When I ran out of the bank
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'cause you
didn't know who I was.
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You didn't remember
me. That one is terrible.
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Why? Is that
understandable? I shook you up.
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You did.
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But at the end I
gotcha. I gotcha.
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What do you mean you got me?
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You married me. Oh.
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You remember you were there.
Can we count that as being got.
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Okay.
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Arthur, I'm glad
you are a happy man.
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Yeah.
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Well, you know,
taking the next step I guess.
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And Michael and Alana,
what a beautiful couple.
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Yes.
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And I look
forward to the interview.
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I'll definitely.
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But you know Alana was
a major witness to him,
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when she met him
and encourage him
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and he accepted
the Sabbath message.
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Absolutely. You
know what a blessing.
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She is a fourth generation
of Seventh-day Adventist
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pastors in our family.
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But she took a
stand for what was right
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and did not
compromise on her standards.
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And Michael
accepted Jesus Christ.
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It should be really interesting
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just listening to
them and how they met.
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And some of the
particulars and challenges
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that they face as
being young people
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in this society today.
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Because there are so many things
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that you can
compromise on but they did not.
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And you have to be strong.
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The young ladies today,
let me tell you something,
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you don't have to
compromise to have a young man
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to be attracted to you.
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If you walk with the right type
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of skills and attributes of God
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and the same thing
goes to our young men,
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you don't have to compromise.
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God will give
you that right person
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and bless your
ministry together.
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So I'm excited,
hope you're excited.
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And let's now
join Michael and Alana.
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And looking at how
they're making it work
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in their relationship.
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Hi, Michael
Randall and Alana Baxter.
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Finally, we finally have come
together with making it work.
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How you guys
doing? We're doing good.
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We're doing
wonderful. Yeah, you look good.
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You look great.
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Well, congratulations you
are engaged to be married.
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Absolutely.
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And we guys are
so happy for you.
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Soon too, I mean, it's
not a long thing right now.
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But we don't want
to talk about when
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because we haven't
really set a date yet.
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So we're going
to leave that open.
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Oh, that's pretty
close to date, Kim.
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But we don't want to say
the date not yet, all right.
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I know we're not...
I didn't mention date.
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I said soon.
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How did you get to date anyway?
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You know, you all think
am I getting married really.
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No.
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Well, Michael,
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you were not born or
raised in this church,
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in the
Seventh-day Adventist church.
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Tell us your story?
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So when I met my bride to
be, I was definitely searching,
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definitely looking
for more biblically based
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Christian practices.
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And so I was raised
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going to
community church of God,
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you know, pretty much the
separation of my parents...
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definitely broke me
away from the church
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for a number of years.
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And so when I met my fiance,
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I definitely was still searching
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and she helped me along the way,
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gave me some reading material,
did Bible studies with me,
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and introduced me to
the pastor who baptized me,
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Pastor Joseph Reeves
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who is in my wedding
and a lifelong friend.
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And so I was just introduced
to the gospel very lovingly.
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But I was also
still, I was challenged.
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And I like that
challenge, you know.
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And I guess the rest is history,
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I have been
baptized for a year now.
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And I can't say
I've ever been happier.
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You enjoying your
journey? Absolutely.
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Alana, I've known
you for a long time
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through our families,
God's hands of praise.
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You know, what is it
that you saw in Michael
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just that you knew
that God had called you
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to be a vessel in his life?
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Well, after I met
him, and we became friends.
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I realized one
that he was searching,
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I remember a conversation we had
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and I asked him,
you know, are you open
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and he said, "Yes, I'm open."
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And after that I knew, okay.
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You know, the Lord
is trying to use me
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to be a witness and I
mean so much more now.
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But I gave him Desire of Ages,
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other Spirit of Prophecy books.
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And then we
actually went to vespers,
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a young adult
vespers in Detroit.
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And I felt like that's
really when the spark happened.
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That's when I saw a spark.
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And his eye was very
attentive and interested.
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Look at them, let we say how
Michael looking at her anyway.
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Absolutely.
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He's just all in. He has not...
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Just how you look at me.
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Listen, the whole time
Alana was talking, he was like.
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When was the last time you did?
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I do it every day. Oh!
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That's
beautiful. That's beautiful.
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So what's been some of
the challenges in dating
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that you have faced thus far?
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Well, I'll let you.
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I mean, well, I guess just I
mean in the short we live in,
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we are part of the
generation of youth,
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right now who are anti-marriage,
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anti-relationship
in a lot of respects.
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And so that
just in and of itself
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is a challenge by itself,
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you know, just
going against the grain
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and doing what we
feel is biblically sound
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as Christians to join
union and get married.
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And so, you know,
explaining things like
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not living with each
other before marriage
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and not having premarital
sex and things like that
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is just not mainstream,
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not even in the
church on these days and so.
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I guess that's all
encompassing of the challenges
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that we deal where there
can be a myriad of things.
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But, you know, it's just,
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we just live in a generation
of people of young adults
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who are just anti-marriage.
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And that in and of itself like
I say presents our challenges.
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So how does that impact
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the people that you deal with,
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you know, some of those
people that still anti-marriage
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and probably just
wondering especially you,
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you know, being in the church,
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in Seventh-day
Adventist faithful for a year.
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Then they're
looking at you, they say,
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"Man, what happened to you?"
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Yeah, I mean it's a
wonderful witnessing tool.
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There's some
wonderful opportunity
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to encourage people who may be,
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you know, may need
to be reinvigorated
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on the idea of marriage.
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And just in a relationship,
a committed relationship
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with another
individual or with God,
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you know,
seeing our relationship
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I'm pretty sure
it has re-cultivated
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relationships in
my whole family is...
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Really our relationship
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has brought my family
closer together, you know.
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Our engagement party
and when I proposed to her,
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my whole family was there.
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And so I think that
seeing a young couple like us
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and knowing what
we were dealing with
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but still choosing
to serve God correctly,
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I believe this is a
huge witnessing tool.
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How old are
you, Michael? I'm 27.
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And how old are
you, Alana? I'm 25.
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You're 25.
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Now what do you do for a living?
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Well, I work in a public health.
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I work at a county
based public health office
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who offers health coverage
to undocumented immigrants.
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Wow. And, Alana?
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So I actually work as
a pharmacy technician.
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I'm also still in school.
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So, you know, I'm
just trying to figure out
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where the Lord's
going to lead me.
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But I'm definitely
interested in helping,
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I so wanted to be a spokesperson
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for healthy lifestyle.
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Well, that's interesting
both in the health field.
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So do you both want children?
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Absolutely. Yeah.
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Now, Alana, you
come from a good family.
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I do. Well,
just going like that.
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What's wrong? Yeah.
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It just amazes me sometime,
you know, you're asking,
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you know, beautiful young couple
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do they want children.
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Yes.
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Well, I would think
they would want children.
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We have children.
Happy, so why would you.
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Okay, let's move on.
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You want children? Yeah.
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You know why? Tell me why?
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We've always love children.
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And I feel like I could
be a very nurturing mother
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and so I want the opportunity
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to be able to grow
children in Christ.
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So I don't know
we've talked about it
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and adoption is
still also an option
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because I want to be
able to raise children
00:10:01.56\00:10:04.50
that haven't had
the best chance in life.
00:10:04.53\00:10:07.60
So I don't know as a nurturer
I definitely want children.
00:10:07.64\00:10:12.77
I do come from a big family so.
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I do as well. How many siblings?
00:10:14.98\00:10:17.31
I have four
sisters and one brother.
00:10:17.35\00:10:18.71
Wow.
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Yes, six of us all
together, so definitely...
00:10:20.12\00:10:21.98
Where are you, in the middle?
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I'm in the middle.
I'm in the middle, yeah.
00:10:23.72\00:10:27.22
So I thought that,
didn't you all think
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that was a good
question about the children?
00:10:28.62\00:10:30.09
Do you want children!
You know, I just say it well.
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Let me ask you another question.
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Who... cooking,
chores, responsibility,
00:10:35.56\00:10:38.50
you know, we have found
that the three causes of divorce
00:10:38.53\00:10:42.60
which we are not looking at
00:10:42.64\00:10:43.97
but we need to put on the table,
00:10:44.01\00:10:45.34
communication, finances
00:10:45.37\00:10:48.14
and responsibilities
within the household.
00:10:48.18\00:10:50.68
So, Michael, can you cook?
00:10:50.71\00:10:53.48
Okay. So what?
00:10:53.52\00:10:56.25
No, you didn't
start that with okay.
00:10:56.28\00:10:58.32
Okay.
00:10:58.35\00:10:59.69
I got to put a
disclaimer out there.
00:10:59.72\00:11:03.53
We are actually vegans.
00:11:03.56\00:11:06.29
And my fiance is a much
better vegan cook than I am.
00:11:06.33\00:11:10.00
My mother is
from South Carolina.
00:11:10.03\00:11:11.93
Since I was
raised a Southern cookie,
00:11:11.97\00:11:14.67
so this is completely
against the grain for myself.
00:11:14.70\00:11:20.58
I mean I do have to say though.
00:11:20.61\00:11:21.94
So when I met Michael,
he was such a great cook.
00:11:21.98\00:11:25.75
And the thing is like he
can throw stuff together,
00:11:25.78\00:11:28.75
you know, and so I'm
trying to encourage him now
00:11:28.78\00:11:31.25
that we've adopted
this vegan lifestyle
00:11:31.29\00:11:33.09
to just experiment more
00:11:33.12\00:11:34.62
because I know that he can cook,
00:11:34.66\00:11:36.22
I enjoy tasting his food
00:11:36.26\00:11:37.99
but he's a
little bit more nervous
00:11:38.03\00:11:39.69
when it comes to this...
00:11:39.73\00:11:41.06
But it's fun, we
were learning together.
00:11:41.10\00:11:42.73
Yeah. You like rice?
00:11:42.76\00:11:44.50
I do like rice and beans. Okay.
00:11:44.53\00:11:46.47
So rice and beans.
00:11:46.50\00:11:48.27
Poor man's diet so.
00:11:48.30\00:11:50.31
And part of Carolina
background certainly.
00:11:50.34\00:11:52.64
Absolutely Yeah.
00:11:52.67\00:11:54.11
I've seen you.
00:11:54.14\00:11:55.48
Let me tell you
story on Thanksgiving?
00:11:55.51\00:11:57.88
No, you don't have to tell.
What I did on Thanksgiving?
00:11:57.91\00:11:59.81
I cooked
everything you possibly have
00:11:59.85\00:12:02.52
on Thanksgiving dinner.
00:12:02.55\00:12:03.89
He sat at the head of the table.
00:12:03.92\00:12:06.15
He looked at the table
00:12:06.19\00:12:07.52
and he said "Where is the rice?"
00:12:07.56\00:12:11.73
I mean, you're talking about
12, 13, 14, fabulous dishes.
00:12:11.76\00:12:16.43
Where's the rice?
00:12:16.46\00:12:17.80
And I think I learned
early on my second or third year
00:12:17.83\00:12:19.93
I don't know if
I made it that far.
00:12:19.97\00:12:22.00
For every meal we
have to have rice.
00:12:22.04\00:12:24.97
Every meal. Every other meal.
00:12:25.01\00:12:29.74
So okay, is he
like rice, all right.
00:12:29.78\00:12:31.55
What about house chores?
00:12:31.58\00:12:33.98
You know, are you
afraid to do dishes and,
00:12:34.02\00:12:36.65
you know, do
laundry, change the sheets?
00:12:36.69\00:12:39.05
Absolutely not.
00:12:39.09\00:12:40.86
I was raised in the house,
we didn't have a dishwasher.
00:12:40.89\00:12:43.76
We asked my mom
to buy dishwasher.
00:12:43.79\00:12:45.56
She said, "Why? I have five."
00:12:45.59\00:12:48.66
And so definitely I actually
do not use my dishwasher.
00:12:48.70\00:12:52.23
It's just the way I was,
you know, the way I came up.
00:12:52.27\00:12:54.20
Yeah, me too.
00:12:54.24\00:12:55.57
I know I have one
I don't even use it.
00:12:55.60\00:12:57.27
I don't like it.
00:12:57.31\00:12:58.64
You know, it just the
way I came up definitely.
00:12:58.67\00:13:01.04
I'm a big, you know,
mess it up you clean it up.
00:13:01.08\00:13:03.38
So and I think
that working together
00:13:03.41\00:13:06.68
keeping a household together,
00:13:06.72\00:13:09.15
you know, is
something that we're probably
00:13:09.18\00:13:10.72
definitely going to do.
00:13:10.75\00:13:12.09
So spreading the chores around
00:13:12.12\00:13:13.46
is something that
we're just going to...
00:13:13.49\00:13:14.96
I have to do.
00:13:14.99\00:13:16.96
See how quietly he
go, "I have to do."
00:13:16.99\00:13:19.09
Okay. I like that.
00:13:19.13\00:13:20.53
You know, being
involved in community,
00:13:20.56\00:13:22.80
you know, both of you are,
00:13:22.83\00:13:24.20
you know, how
do you proceed that
00:13:24.23\00:13:27.14
you will continue
to have that desire,
00:13:27.17\00:13:30.34
you know, working with
immigrants is profound.
00:13:30.37\00:13:33.61
You know, and being a caregiver
00:13:33.64\00:13:36.11
and wanting to
give back to children
00:13:36.14\00:13:39.55
who are underprivileged and,
00:13:39.58\00:13:41.48
you know, to me that
sounds great, you know.
00:13:41.52\00:13:44.15
But I see a lot of
young couples today
00:13:44.19\00:13:47.72
they're focused on the economy.
00:13:47.76\00:13:50.63
They're focused on
obtaining things, you know.
00:13:50.66\00:13:54.33
And you seem a little
bit different in that.
00:13:54.36\00:13:57.63
You know, we all recognize
that finances are important,
00:13:57.67\00:14:01.80
it's definitely important.
00:14:01.84\00:14:03.20
But that when the first thing,
00:14:03.24\00:14:05.17
you know, success
means something else to you,
00:14:05.21\00:14:08.54
I sense that.
00:14:08.58\00:14:09.91
Can you expound
on it? Definitely.
00:14:09.94\00:14:11.95
Well, we're both involved
in the young adult ministry
00:14:11.98\00:14:15.32
called Bridge.
00:14:15.35\00:14:16.99
I'm actually the
leader of Bridge and so.
00:14:17.02\00:14:19.99
A young adult ministry in
south region, Michigan here
00:14:20.02\00:14:22.12
who is out of the
Michigan Conference,
00:14:22.16\00:14:23.96
who seeks to connect
the young, young adults
00:14:23.99\00:14:27.00
all around the area.
00:14:27.03\00:14:28.36
And Alana is actually
the head of music there.
00:14:28.40\00:14:30.63
And so that's my most
important endeavor right now.
00:14:30.67\00:14:35.80
I actually quit my second
job to do that more full time
00:14:35.84\00:14:39.14
because I believe
00:14:39.17\00:14:40.51
that if there's
not a community on base
00:14:40.54\00:14:42.74
and if it's not service,
then you're doing yourself
00:14:42.78\00:14:46.21
and the community
at large a disservice.
00:14:46.25\00:14:48.58
And so whatever I do,
00:14:48.62\00:14:51.52
that's the
number one focal point,
00:14:51.55\00:14:54.56
the number one goal
00:14:54.59\00:14:55.92
is to spread the gospel
to community service and so.
00:14:55.96\00:15:00.50
And I made that my career.
00:15:00.53\00:15:02.33
I've made that my career choice.
00:15:02.36\00:15:03.97
And I've made that
my choice of ministry
00:15:04.00\00:15:07.27
because that's what I believe
00:15:07.30\00:15:09.70
is the most important.
00:15:09.74\00:15:11.07
So absolutely it's all
going to have to run in unison.
00:15:11.11\00:15:14.98
And I feel like you have
to stay connected with God
00:15:15.01\00:15:17.25
though to be able
to stay focused on
00:15:17.28\00:15:20.48
why you want to help
people and do things like that.
00:15:20.52\00:15:22.95
I guess for me,
00:15:22.98\00:15:24.32
you know, I constantly
struggle specially in school,
00:15:24.35\00:15:26.89
you know, am I
going to make money
00:15:26.92\00:15:28.26
or am I going to do
something that I enjoy,
00:15:28.29\00:15:29.62
or am I going to do something
00:15:29.66\00:15:30.99
that God wants
me to do, you know.
00:15:31.03\00:15:32.43
And you have to stay
focused on God and then stay,
00:15:32.46\00:15:35.20
you know, constantly reading
something that's inspiring or,
00:15:35.23\00:15:38.40
you know, a story of
somebody helping somebody
00:15:38.43\00:15:40.44
in order to stay focused on that
00:15:40.47\00:15:42.34
because we get
so many distractions
00:15:42.37\00:15:44.04
in this world where it's like,
00:15:44.07\00:15:45.41
oh, my goodness
our car broke down,
00:15:45.44\00:15:46.78
so I would need another car,
00:15:46.81\00:15:48.14
you know, all these
different things and so.
00:15:48.18\00:15:49.94
I think that's really important.
00:15:49.98\00:15:51.38
Excellent. Excellent, yeah.
00:15:51.41\00:15:53.62
It's just beautiful.
00:15:53.65\00:15:55.18
It's just so refreshing
to see young people not just,
00:15:55.22\00:15:59.79
you know, committed
to love the relationship
00:15:59.82\00:16:02.72
but to the Lord.
00:16:02.76\00:16:04.33
And I think that
the power of prayer,
00:16:04.36\00:16:06.49
do you all pray together now?
00:16:06.53\00:16:07.90
Absolutely. We do,
not as much as I hope.
00:16:07.93\00:16:10.27
I mean, it's harder though
00:16:10.30\00:16:11.63
because we live in
two separate places so.
00:16:11.67\00:16:14.87
But we do when
we're around each other,
00:16:14.90\00:16:16.67
we pray together.
00:16:16.71\00:16:18.04
And definitely, you know,
we're going to be implementing
00:16:18.07\00:16:19.91
daily devotionals
together when we wake up
00:16:19.94\00:16:23.18
and when we're going
to sleep just to make sure
00:16:23.21\00:16:24.91
that we're both connected daily.
00:16:24.95\00:16:27.62
Do you text each
other throughout the day?
00:16:27.65\00:16:29.42
Oh, absolutely. We do.
00:16:29.45\00:16:30.79
I call him sometimes.
She's the only person I text.
00:16:30.82\00:16:34.46
You seem to be a young
person, you do not like texting.
00:16:34.49\00:16:37.29
I do not like texting.
00:16:37.33\00:16:38.66
I'm very, I like old
school ways of communicating.
00:16:38.69\00:16:42.76
And to me I don't
feel like it's old school,
00:16:42.80\00:16:44.37
I feel like it's more effective.
00:16:44.40\00:16:45.83
You know, a phone
call is much more effective
00:16:45.87\00:16:47.90
than a text message
because you don't know
00:16:47.94\00:16:49.80
the tone through a text message.
00:16:49.84\00:16:51.77
You can't re-tone and
so... That's it. That's it.
00:16:51.81\00:16:54.34
She can text me
something and I can think
00:16:54.38\00:16:56.08
that she is
completely, she is mad at me
00:16:56.11\00:16:58.05
or she might be upset.
00:16:58.08\00:16:59.48
But she call and
she's like happy.
00:16:59.51\00:17:01.22
Usually, I feel that
way about your text messages
00:17:01.25\00:17:04.19
that I always read
it, to me it's like
00:17:04.22\00:17:05.79
"Oh, I hate text
messages." Yes. Yes.
00:17:05.82\00:17:08.62
I had a student who
did a paper in my class
00:17:08.66\00:17:11.36
and when I read it, I
said, "Are you serious"?
00:17:11.39\00:17:13.73
I called him to my desk
00:17:13.76\00:17:15.10
and I didn't
want to embarrass him.
00:17:15.13\00:17:16.46
I said, "Could you go
back and un-text this paper?
00:17:16.50\00:17:19.67
Read the whole
paper but then he said,
00:17:19.70\00:17:21.47
"Oh, Dr. Nowlin, I'm so sorry.
00:17:21.50\00:17:23.61
I know API. I know what to do."
00:17:23.64\00:17:25.27
I said, "I'm
gonna give you 24 hours
00:17:25.31\00:17:27.91
to bring this paper back.
00:17:27.94\00:17:29.34
And bring it to my other class
the next day all in texting."
00:17:29.38\00:17:34.52
The you, Y-O-U, the letter U.
00:17:34.55\00:17:37.55
I was like what is this.
00:17:37.59\00:17:39.59
So guess I've really
approached to him in voice,
00:17:39.62\00:17:42.82
you know, I'm
here with the person,
00:17:42.86\00:17:44.49
tell me that you love me...
00:17:44.53\00:17:45.89
You need some
help. Well, I never do.
00:17:45.93\00:17:48.46
Wait a minute, can I
ask you the question?
00:17:48.50\00:17:50.27
Can I ask the question? Listen.
00:17:50.30\00:17:51.63
Let me ask the question.
00:17:51.67\00:17:53.60
Remember five years
ago, I don't know how long
00:17:53.64\00:17:56.10
you would call the
answer machine and say,
00:17:56.14\00:17:58.47
"I just called
to say I love you."
00:17:58.51\00:18:02.14
It wasn't five years ago.
Well, how long ago was it?
00:18:02.18\00:18:04.58
It was 20 years
ago. Oh, my Lord.
00:18:04.61\00:18:08.82
I just want to encourage you.
00:18:08.85\00:18:10.99
All right keep
Jesus with you, all right.
00:18:11.02\00:18:13.46
You got to need Him
00:18:13.49\00:18:14.82
when you have
day by day struggle.
00:18:14.86\00:18:17.39
You know, but
you can make it work.
00:18:17.43\00:18:19.23
You can make it
work because he is able.
00:18:19.26\00:18:22.86
But you got to
be on the same page.
00:18:22.90\00:18:24.23
That's one of the
things I was thinking about,
00:18:24.27\00:18:26.13
you know, as you
both were talking here.
00:18:26.17\00:18:28.20
Do you feel that
you're equally yoked?
00:18:28.24\00:18:31.64
So this has been a question
00:18:31.67\00:18:33.98
throughout our
whole relationship,
00:18:34.01\00:18:35.44
especially for me
growing up in the church
00:18:35.48\00:18:38.08
and being a multi
generational Adventist,
00:18:38.11\00:18:42.12
that's been a huge concern.
00:18:42.15\00:18:43.59
And so, now I can say
that yes, I do believe we are.
00:18:43.62\00:18:47.19
In the beginning
of our relationship
00:18:47.22\00:18:48.72
we weren't clearly, he
wasn't Adventist and I was.
00:18:48.76\00:18:52.59
But at the time a
lot of people don't know
00:18:52.63\00:18:54.76
I was praying for
my husband at the time.
00:18:54.80\00:18:58.60
And I met him.
00:18:58.63\00:19:01.84
And it was strange
because it was like, okay,
00:19:01.87\00:19:04.74
you know when God
send you something
00:19:04.77\00:19:06.37
that is not right,
00:19:06.41\00:19:10.05
you know, all these different
things going through my head,
00:19:10.08\00:19:13.75
and then lot of
advice from family.
00:19:13.78\00:19:16.62
But at the same time
I had to remind myself
00:19:16.65\00:19:19.19
that I prayed about it.
00:19:19.22\00:19:23.02
That's right.
00:19:23.06\00:19:24.39
And so I, you
know, we're here now.
00:19:24.43\00:19:28.93
And it's just, it's
been a long question
00:19:28.96\00:19:32.93
and a long time
coming, but yes, now we're...
00:19:32.97\00:19:34.60
And definitely it's
important to remember that
00:19:34.64\00:19:37.24
there's other
things other than being
00:19:37.27\00:19:39.17
a different religion or
a different denomination
00:19:39.21\00:19:43.35
that can possibly
make you unequally yoked.
00:19:43.38\00:19:46.61
I think that we've dealt
00:19:46.65\00:19:47.98
with a lot of
different challenges,
00:19:48.02\00:19:49.75
premarital sex and not
living with each other,
00:19:49.78\00:19:52.65
change in our diet,
making our diet more clean,
00:19:52.69\00:19:55.26
making our
lifestyles more clean,
00:19:55.29\00:19:57.46
our choices in how we
work, how we communicate,
00:19:57.49\00:20:00.23
how we live, those are things
that are going to sustain you
00:20:00.26\00:20:04.07
because, of course, you
can proclaim a religion,
00:20:04.10\00:20:06.84
and get baptized,
00:20:06.87\00:20:08.20
and go to church
every Sabbath day.
00:20:08.24\00:20:10.31
The things that you
have to live with day to day
00:20:10.34\00:20:12.74
is what's going to
sustain a relationship
00:20:12.77\00:20:14.58
not even a
marriage, but a friendship
00:20:14.61\00:20:17.41
or relationship
between a daughter
00:20:17.45\00:20:20.08
and a mother or
any relationship.
00:20:20.12\00:20:23.92
The decision
that you made together
00:20:23.95\00:20:25.75
and how you
choose to move forward
00:20:25.79\00:20:27.79
is what's going
to sustain you and,
00:20:27.82\00:20:29.46
you know the definition
of yoke is being together
00:20:29.49\00:20:32.39
and moving in synergy.
00:20:32.43\00:20:34.50
And so making those decisions
00:20:34.53\00:20:40.40
is what made us...
00:20:40.44\00:20:41.97
Is what got us where we
are today that is there for.
00:20:42.00\00:20:45.54
I want to add too as a
tool to do a personal inventory
00:20:45.57\00:20:50.75
of your
relationship even starting now
00:20:50.78\00:20:53.48
and as you become man and wife,
00:20:53.52\00:20:55.62
just weekly how we doing.
00:20:55.65\00:20:58.25
Don't wait until that
problem gets out of hand.
00:20:58.29\00:21:01.46
Address it
immediately. And don't...
00:21:01.49\00:21:03.89
I know you're getting
premarital counseling.
00:21:03.93\00:21:05.96
Are you having
premarital counseling?
00:21:05.99\00:21:07.46
So we actually,
well, so, we actually,
00:21:07.50\00:21:10.00
we did financial counseling.
00:21:10.03\00:21:11.60
We just
graduated financial thesis
00:21:11.63\00:21:13.60
from university which was great.
00:21:13.64\00:21:15.54
And that was a huge tool for us.
00:21:15.57\00:21:17.31
But we're working
on the other part.
00:21:17.34\00:21:21.98
The other part. Yeah.
00:21:22.01\00:21:23.35
All right,
'cause it's important.
00:21:23.38\00:21:24.75
We're there for
counseling right now.
00:21:24.78\00:21:26.18
Right. Come on. There you go.
00:21:26.21\00:21:28.48
Come on, Kim Logan
Communication Counseling.
00:21:28.52\00:21:30.92
It's really been a pleasure,
00:21:30.95\00:21:32.29
you know, talking
to the both of you.
00:21:32.32\00:21:34.12
I mean, it's inspiring.
00:21:34.16\00:21:35.56
It's inspiring to me
because I see young people,
00:21:35.59\00:21:39.76
you know, what a
desire to do the right thing.
00:21:39.79\00:21:42.86
And to be, I guess
leaders and not followers.
00:21:42.90\00:21:47.77
And that's really important.
00:21:47.80\00:21:49.87
So you really need
to hold on to each other
00:21:49.90\00:21:54.48
and encourage each other.
00:21:54.51\00:21:56.14
And when the
communication is wavering,
00:21:56.18\00:22:00.22
that's when the prayer steps in
00:22:00.25\00:22:02.22
to help you get
through those difficult times.
00:22:02.25\00:22:04.62
Definitely.
00:22:04.65\00:22:05.99
You know, in your
closing words about 30 seconds.
00:22:06.02\00:22:08.82
What can you say to
other young people of your age
00:22:08.86\00:22:11.23
to just continue to
make it last and hold on,
00:22:11.26\00:22:13.80
you know, make it work,
00:22:13.83\00:22:15.16
continue to make
it work and hold on?
00:22:15.20\00:22:17.67
Well, I just want to say,
00:22:17.70\00:22:19.03
it's important to
keep God as the center
00:22:19.07\00:22:20.47
and stay focused on
that because it's very easy
00:22:20.50\00:22:22.94
if you indulge
in different media,
00:22:22.97\00:22:24.57
if you indulge in,
00:22:24.61\00:22:25.94
you know, certain
music and things like that,
00:22:25.97\00:22:27.41
it's very, very hard
to stay focused on...
00:22:27.44\00:22:30.65
Let's stay on the right track.
00:22:30.68\00:22:32.01
Stay away from premarital sex,
stay away from living together,
00:22:32.05\00:22:34.62
stay away from drugs and alcohol
00:22:34.65\00:22:36.08
and unhealthy lifestyles,
00:22:36.12\00:22:37.75
you have to keep
God as the center.
00:22:37.79\00:22:39.12
Amen. Amen.
00:22:39.15\00:22:40.49
Picture yourself in 30
years, where do you want to be,
00:22:40.52\00:22:43.32
how do you want to look,
00:22:43.36\00:22:44.69
what kind of life
do you want to have,
00:22:44.73\00:22:47.20
and probably
that's going to take,
00:22:47.23\00:22:48.96
making a decision like
this when you're young.
00:22:49.00\00:22:51.13
Well listen, Michael and Alana,
00:22:51.17\00:22:53.54
thank you so much for
being with us on making it work.
00:22:53.57\00:22:56.44
God bless you. And
congratulations, all right.
00:22:56.47\00:22:58.97
Thank you. Thank you.
00:22:59.01\00:23:03.11
Arthur, it's so good
to see young people today,
00:23:03.14\00:23:06.08
maintaining their standards.
00:23:06.11\00:23:07.98
I want to share a scripture.
00:23:08.02\00:23:09.85
And it says in Isaiah 59:19,
00:23:09.88\00:23:13.05
"When the enemy
comes in like a flood,
00:23:13.09\00:23:16.99
the Spirit of the Lord
00:23:17.03\00:23:18.36
will lift up a
standard against him."
00:23:18.39\00:23:21.06
You don't have to lower your
standards to be with a person.
00:23:21.10\00:23:24.97
And when God gives you
the red flags, get out,
00:23:25.00\00:23:27.94
get out of that situation.
00:23:27.97\00:23:29.50
But Michael and Alana
stood to test of time and said,
00:23:29.54\00:23:33.21
we're going to do this right.
00:23:33.24\00:23:34.84
And accept Jesus Christ
00:23:34.88\00:23:36.28
and build a
foundation on a rock.
00:23:36.31\00:23:39.41
Not sand but a rock.
00:23:39.45\00:23:41.72
Another scripture that,
00:23:41.75\00:23:43.08
you know, I just
thought would be appropriate
00:23:43.12\00:23:45.89
is we're talking
about Romans 8:28.
00:23:45.92\00:23:49.06
"And we know that
to them that love God
00:23:49.09\00:23:52.49
all things work
together for good,
00:23:52.53\00:23:55.70
even to them that are called
according to their purpose."
00:23:55.73\00:24:00.44
So you have to
understand what your purpose is.
00:24:00.47\00:24:02.97
And every one of
us have a purpose,
00:24:03.00\00:24:05.21
has a purpose on this earth,
00:24:05.24\00:24:06.78
and that is to be a
witness for Jesus Christ.
00:24:06.81\00:24:08.61
Absolutely.
00:24:08.64\00:24:09.98
So let's talk
about some of the things
00:24:10.01\00:24:11.35
that we can
help our young people
00:24:11.38\00:24:12.95
who are thinking
about, they're dating
00:24:12.98\00:24:14.65
or engaged and
contemplating marriage.
00:24:14.68\00:24:16.92
What are some of the
things you need to think about?
00:24:16.95\00:24:18.65
Well, you know, I think Michael
00:24:18.69\00:24:20.56
talked about it
really, really well.
00:24:20.59\00:24:23.53
And some of the things that
he indicated is he said that,
00:24:23.56\00:24:26.73
"In spite of what
was going on around him
00:24:26.76\00:24:30.07
that he and his
fiance had made a decision
00:24:30.10\00:24:33.80
that they would
not sleep together."
00:24:33.84\00:24:35.57
Oh, yes.
00:24:35.60\00:24:36.94
You know, I mean,
so we're talking about
00:24:36.97\00:24:39.11
building character and standards
00:24:39.14\00:24:40.91
right off the bat, you know so.
00:24:40.94\00:24:43.55
And he said the most important
thing that he wanted to do,
00:24:43.58\00:24:46.95
he said this was his soul mate,
00:24:46.98\00:24:49.08
this young lady was
someone that he wanted to marry.
00:24:49.12\00:24:53.09
And that they felt...
00:24:53.12\00:24:56.19
It was good for them
to wait until marriage.
00:24:56.22\00:24:59.29
Yes. That's it.
00:24:59.33\00:25:00.66
And it's important to
wait 'cause God will honor you.
00:25:00.70\00:25:03.67
He will bless you
if you wait, wait.
00:25:03.70\00:25:06.74
Micah 7:7, it says
"Wait, I say, on the Lord."
00:25:06.77\00:25:10.84
And why is it so
hard for people to wait
00:25:10.87\00:25:14.04
and allow God to
direct their path.
00:25:14.08\00:25:16.04
And we know that
emotions becoming impulsive.
00:25:16.08\00:25:19.78
I mean, those are the
things that we're human,
00:25:19.81\00:25:22.68
you know, we make mistakes.
00:25:22.72\00:25:25.12
So we have to really recognize
00:25:25.15\00:25:27.36
that some situations we
need to avoid, you know.
00:25:27.39\00:25:31.43
And some people
we need to avoid.
00:25:31.46\00:25:32.79
Absolutely.
00:25:32.83\00:25:34.16
You know, let's talk about
the lack of impulse control.
00:25:34.20\00:25:36.63
Oh, man, if, you
know, you're in a situation
00:25:36.67\00:25:41.24
where things are
just really overwhelming
00:25:41.27\00:25:45.31
and that's a really key point,
00:25:45.34\00:25:47.84
putting yourself in a situation
00:25:47.88\00:25:49.61
where it is overwhelming
and challenging, you know.
00:25:49.64\00:25:53.15
So you may lose out, you may win
00:25:53.18\00:25:56.99
but you may lose out as well.
00:25:57.02\00:25:58.75
So why would you want to
put yourself in that situation.
00:25:58.79\00:26:01.82
You'd be more comfortable
to avoid those situations.
00:26:01.86\00:26:04.63
But once again
we're talking about
00:26:04.66\00:26:07.10
learning how to
discipline yourself.
00:26:07.13\00:26:10.57
Oh, I like that
word. That's a good term.
00:26:10.60\00:26:12.67
You know, and
discipline is really important
00:26:12.70\00:26:15.57
because that's the way
00:26:15.60\00:26:17.71
Jesus Christ was our
role model for discipline.
00:26:17.74\00:26:21.78
And we got to be
careful of the appetite,
00:26:21.81\00:26:23.55
how we feed and
nourish our appetites,
00:26:23.58\00:26:26.11
what we watch, what we observe,
00:26:26.15\00:26:28.15
what we listen to
00:26:28.18\00:26:29.55
and that could
cause us to make impulsive
00:26:29.58\00:26:31.35
negative decisions
and we need to be careful.
00:26:31.39\00:26:34.42
And the key factor is
to be in the will of God.
00:26:34.46\00:26:38.26
I like the scripture Hosea 4:6,
00:26:38.29\00:26:40.50
"My people perish because
of the lack of knowledge."
00:26:40.53\00:26:43.63
We have to study, we
have to stay prayerful,
00:26:43.67\00:26:46.20
we have to stay close to Christ.
00:26:46.23\00:26:47.60
I can't emphasize that enough,
00:26:47.64\00:26:49.74
I know Arthur and I have been
00:26:49.77\00:26:51.64
through a marriage
with ups and downs,
00:26:51.67\00:26:55.04
we going to be honest
with you, let's keep it real.
00:26:55.08\00:26:57.25
But what has given us
the strength to endure
00:26:57.28\00:27:00.05
and make it last,
00:27:00.08\00:27:01.58
and make it work for ever
is the fact that through prayer
00:27:01.62\00:27:05.39
we have definitely seen
00:27:05.42\00:27:07.16
God work in our
marriage and in our lives.
00:27:07.19\00:27:09.29
Kim, I'm gonna add you
know, I think our willingness
00:27:09.32\00:27:13.19
and our desire
to overcome problems
00:27:13.23\00:27:15.63
and difficulties
is really important.
00:27:15.66\00:27:18.57
So you never stop
trying under any circumstances.
00:27:18.60\00:27:24.04
And I won't stop
trying with you, Kim.
00:27:24.07\00:27:26.14
Well, I praise
the Lord, never stop.
00:27:26.17\00:27:27.71
I'm never going
to stop with Arthur.
00:27:27.74\00:27:29.24
I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
And I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:27:29.28\00:27:32.48
God bless.
00:27:32.51\00:27:34.02