Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. 00:00:30.43\00:00:32.59 I'm Arthur Nowlin. 00:00:32.63\00:00:34.00 And welcome to Making It Work. 00:00:34.03\00:00:36.63 Arthur, just the two of us. 00:00:36.67\00:00:39.63 What comes to mind? You're talking about two of us? 00:00:39.67\00:00:41.57 Just the... 00:00:41.60\00:00:42.97 we still have a third will, we still have Erin, 00:00:43.00\00:00:45.67 our 15 year old, we have a 15 year old. 00:00:45.71\00:00:47.84 Okay, we have a 36 year old, we have a 33 year old, 00:00:47.88\00:00:51.01 and we have a 15 year old. 00:00:51.05\00:00:52.45 Remember, when we, Emica, she was in her junior year 00:00:52.48\00:00:56.38 going to her senior year at Mount Vernon Academy, 00:00:56.42\00:00:58.85 and I came to Arthur and I said, 00:00:58.89\00:01:00.39 "Arthur, what about having another baby?" 00:01:00.42\00:01:03.59 Now our child is about to leave, 00:01:03.63\00:01:05.33 graduate, go to Oakwood University, 00:01:05.36\00:01:08.00 and Arthur response was, "Yes, let's do this." 00:01:08.03\00:01:11.70 No, that was not my response. 00:01:11.73\00:01:15.54 You know, when I asked you, and you said, 00:01:15.57\00:01:17.41 "Yes, honey, what do you want?" 00:01:17.44\00:01:18.77 I said, "I want to have another baby." 00:01:18.81\00:01:20.14 That was the way you asked me. 00:01:20.18\00:01:21.51 I did. I was sweet. 00:01:21.54\00:01:22.88 You know, and I still had concerns. 00:01:22.91\00:01:26.11 You did? Yes. 00:01:26.15\00:01:27.48 'Cause you want to play golf all day. 00:01:27.52\00:01:28.85 Continuously. 00:01:28.88\00:01:30.22 Yeah. 00:01:30.25\00:01:31.82 So your golf game was good, it was going well, 00:01:31.85\00:01:34.12 and I want to have a new baby, an infant. 00:01:34.16\00:01:36.46 And now she's 15. 00:01:36.49\00:01:39.59 So I'm going to that empty nest syndrome, 00:01:39.63\00:01:42.26 she is about to leave to go to boarding school. 00:01:42.30\00:01:44.57 There's people they can help you in that area. 00:01:44.60\00:01:46.80 Is that right, any counselling? 00:01:46.84\00:01:48.17 Yes, you need something. 00:01:48.20\00:01:50.27 Well, I guess today Mr. and Mrs. Roscoe 00:01:50.31\00:01:55.34 and Nattie Gray. 00:01:55.38\00:01:57.15 And I'm just excited 00:01:57.18\00:01:58.51 because they are members of our church, 00:01:58.55\00:01:59.88 we know them, we've seen them but they have an empty nest. 00:01:59.91\00:02:03.32 Their youngest child is attending Oakwood University 00:02:03.35\00:02:05.95 in her junior year, 00:02:05.99\00:02:08.06 and we are just excited what God has done. 00:02:08.09\00:02:10.66 But they are both elders in the church. 00:02:10.69\00:02:13.40 And he's retired but she wears many hats, 00:02:13.43\00:02:16.70 she is vice principle of the school, 00:02:16.73\00:02:19.07 and also teacher, and counselor. 00:02:19.10\00:02:21.50 That's a lot, Arthur. It is lot. 00:02:21.54\00:02:23.41 But I think it's more than just having a empty nest, 00:02:23.44\00:02:25.97 and being involved in the church. 00:02:26.01\00:02:27.84 I think what it is their love for each other. 00:02:27.88\00:02:31.51 Oh, they do love each other. 00:02:31.55\00:02:32.88 No, I mean it shows. 00:02:32.91\00:02:34.72 I mean, you know, like they are willing 00:02:34.75\00:02:37.29 to really work together, and they're excited. 00:02:37.32\00:02:43.59 I heard her say something 00:02:43.63\00:02:45.43 where her husband was really her motivation 00:02:45.46\00:02:51.13 and that was really something important to me. 00:02:51.17\00:02:53.27 Oh, definitely. 00:02:53.30\00:02:54.64 Well, let's talk with Roscoe and Nattie, 00:02:54.67\00:02:57.41 here on Making It Work. 00:02:57.44\00:03:00.38 Elder and Elder Roscoe and Nattie Grey, 00:03:00.41\00:03:04.15 welcome to Making It Work. 00:03:04.18\00:03:05.75 Thank you, Thank you for having us here. 00:03:05.78\00:03:08.25 Listen, okay, let's just talk about 00:03:08.28\00:03:10.15 this wonderful relationship 00:03:10.19\00:03:11.89 that I see week to week and the friendship. 00:03:11.92\00:03:15.42 Let's talk about how you met, 00:03:15.46\00:03:16.79 and how many years you have been married? 00:03:16.83\00:03:18.16 How many years? 00:03:18.19\00:03:19.53 Thirty eight years, Thirty nine in May. 00:03:19.56\00:03:22.40 What? Wow. 00:03:22.43\00:03:24.47 Well, how did you meet? 00:03:24.50\00:03:26.17 I met her in church, at City Temple. 00:03:26.20\00:03:29.24 Our mutual friend introduced us, 00:03:29.27\00:03:31.74 and she has this distinct voice, little voice. 00:03:31.77\00:03:37.91 And when she walked down the aisle to leave, 00:03:37.95\00:03:40.65 there she is, Lord. 00:03:40.68\00:03:44.12 That's what you said? Yeah, that's what I said 00:03:44.15\00:03:45.99 because she had beautiful set of legs. 00:03:46.02\00:03:49.52 It was her legs. It was her legs? 00:03:49.56\00:03:51.09 And a little bit of waist like that, 00:03:51.13\00:03:53.16 I said, there she is, Lord, that's the one for me. 00:03:53.19\00:03:55.83 So what did you do? 00:03:55.86\00:03:57.43 I chased after her. 00:03:57.47\00:03:58.80 That Sabbath? 00:03:58.83\00:04:00.17 No, not that Sabbath, but I chased after her 00:04:00.20\00:04:04.24 and I would dress to impress... 00:04:04.27\00:04:07.78 All right. 00:04:07.81\00:04:09.18 And actually what on her part, it was love at first sight. 00:04:09.21\00:04:12.75 She looked at you and fell in love. 00:04:12.78\00:04:14.55 He will always say that. 00:04:14.58\00:04:17.02 I happen to been home on vacation from Andrews, 00:04:17.05\00:04:21.06 and I was at church that Sabbath, 00:04:21.09\00:04:23.59 but it was my best friend who kind of liked him, 00:04:23.63\00:04:29.40 and she introduced us. 00:04:29.43\00:04:31.23 But as, when I came home for the summer, 00:04:31.27\00:04:33.60 wherever we went, 00:04:33.64\00:04:34.97 it was a threesome, he was always there. 00:04:35.00\00:04:37.61 I had the car and he was always with us 00:04:37.64\00:04:40.61 going wherever we wanted to go. 00:04:40.64\00:04:42.71 And I would tell him the truth, 00:04:42.74\00:04:44.61 oh, you're just like a brother, just like a brother. 00:04:44.65\00:04:47.35 Didn't want to be no brother. 00:04:47.38\00:04:48.72 Will be no brother. 00:04:48.75\00:04:50.09 But it just, the relationship just blossom, 00:04:50.12\00:04:51.99 we just go different places, concerts, and go out to eat. 00:04:52.02\00:04:57.09 He just come over, go bowling, and just blossom. 00:04:57.13\00:05:01.06 Matter of fact, we went bowling today. 00:05:01.10\00:05:02.76 You went bowling today? 00:05:02.80\00:05:04.13 Yeah. Together? 00:05:04.17\00:05:05.50 You are in a bowling league or something like that. 00:05:05.53\00:05:07.47 We have some few friends from the church, 00:05:07.50\00:05:09.00 we just, just for exercise. 00:05:09.04\00:05:10.61 Who is the better bowler? 00:05:10.64\00:05:11.97 I bowled 212. 00:05:12.01\00:05:13.48 Today? 00:05:13.51\00:05:14.84 My first time doing 212. Really, you did 212? 00:05:14.88\00:05:16.91 What did you bowled? 00:05:16.95\00:05:18.28 Two hundred. 00:05:18.31\00:05:20.48 You know. 00:05:20.52\00:05:21.85 212, that's nice. 00:05:21.88\00:05:23.22 Are we going bowling? 00:05:23.25\00:05:24.59 You don't know anything about it. 00:05:24.62\00:05:26.45 Oh, well, let's you do it on a wheel. 00:05:26.49\00:05:28.72 You know, you know. 00:05:32.99\00:05:35.33 You no, that's how I felt, 00:05:35.36\00:05:36.70 because I can do that on the wheel 00:05:36.73\00:05:38.07 but I'm like, wow, all of these strikes like, 00:05:38.10\00:05:41.00 I can't believe it, I can't believe it. 00:05:41.04\00:05:42.44 That's really great. 00:05:42.47\00:05:45.17 Now, I know you both cook, 00:05:45.21\00:05:46.84 and you make a main sweet potato pie. 00:05:46.88\00:05:49.68 And, you know, all the things you do together. 00:05:49.71\00:05:52.48 The children, you have three children. 00:05:52.51\00:05:54.38 What are their ages? 00:05:54.42\00:05:56.08 Okay, Anea is 35, 00:05:56.12\00:06:00.49 Patrick is 33, 00:06:00.52\00:06:03.43 and Regina is 20, should be 21 in October. 00:06:03.46\00:06:06.59 Now that it's empty nest, now Regina is in Argentina. 00:06:06.63\00:06:09.56 What is she doing over there? 00:06:09.60\00:06:11.37 Well, we have this problem Adventist Colleges abroad. 00:06:11.40\00:06:15.97 I participated when I was in college, 00:06:16.00\00:06:18.37 my son went to Arg, I went to Spain, 00:06:18.41\00:06:21.04 my son went to Argentina and Regina said, 00:06:21.08\00:06:24.68 "Because we want to learn Spanish," 00:06:24.71\00:06:26.51 I says, "Okay, if you want to learn goodbye, 00:06:26.55\00:06:28.72 pack your clothes" 00:06:28.75\00:06:30.09 and I'm packing and crying... 00:06:30.12\00:06:32.62 Were you? 00:06:32.65\00:06:33.99 But I sent her over 00:06:34.02\00:06:35.36 so she's at our Adventist College... 00:06:35.39\00:06:36.73 That's all she do is cry. 00:06:36.76\00:06:38.09 In River Plate College, and she's taking classes there. 00:06:38.13\00:06:41.96 So when she comes back, 00:06:42.00\00:06:43.33 she'll be proficient in Spanish. 00:06:43.37\00:06:45.13 Isn't that wonderful? 00:06:45.17\00:06:46.70 Elder Gray, do you speak Spanish? 00:06:46.74\00:06:49.04 No, no. No, no. 00:06:49.07\00:06:53.24 Just we we... 00:06:53.27\00:06:54.94 Isn't that French? 00:06:54.98\00:06:57.48 That's wrong way. That's wrong lessons. 00:06:57.51\00:07:00.08 Si, okay, si. 00:07:00.12\00:07:02.38 All right, so how is it working together in the church 00:07:02.42\00:07:05.92 for the Lord, both being elders together? 00:07:05.95\00:07:10.19 It's easy. Is it? 00:07:10.23\00:07:12.09 I mean, this is my 33rd year as an elder. 00:07:12.13\00:07:14.73 What? 00:07:14.76\00:07:16.10 Yeah, 33rd year as an elder and it came natural with Nattie 00:07:16.13\00:07:20.90 because when I was head elder, 00:07:20.94\00:07:23.57 she did all my scheduling and everything. 00:07:23.61\00:07:27.38 And when she become an elder, I just worked with her 00:07:27.41\00:07:30.35 how to do this, how to do that, how to be an elder. 00:07:30.38\00:07:34.65 And she blossomed as an elder. 00:07:34.68\00:07:37.32 Recognizing that now you're in a household with another elder, 00:07:37.35\00:07:43.73 you know, how does that motivate you 00:07:43.76\00:07:47.83 as far as maintaining your relationship in the church, 00:07:47.86\00:07:52.73 you know, in the community, you know? 00:07:52.77\00:07:54.94 Now I tell you what she like to do? 00:07:54.97\00:07:57.34 She like to come up with something and say, 00:07:57.37\00:08:00.38 this is mine for the next, for next of my speech, 00:08:00.41\00:08:03.91 this is my sermon, 00:08:03.95\00:08:05.81 and I would more like would steal it from her 00:08:05.85\00:08:08.42 because I do the Wednesday noon prayer service. 00:08:08.45\00:08:11.29 And when she tell me something good, 00:08:11.32\00:08:12.95 that's what I use for my service. 00:08:12.99\00:08:14.86 So she got to tell you, don't use. 00:08:14.89\00:08:16.56 Nattie won't tell me anything. 00:08:16.59\00:08:18.99 But I think when I became an elder 00:08:19.03\00:08:21.60 because he knew 00:08:21.63\00:08:23.06 and we just have books and books at home, 00:08:23.10\00:08:26.00 he wanted to make sure that I'm successful 00:08:26.03\00:08:28.64 because it was a problem 00:08:28.67\00:08:30.47 with assignment of female elder, 00:08:30.51\00:08:33.44 there was some... 00:08:33.48\00:08:34.81 Because you were one and the first. 00:08:34.84\00:08:36.48 Right. 00:08:36.51\00:08:37.85 You and... 00:08:37.88\00:08:39.21 Beverly was the first elder. 00:08:39.25\00:08:40.58 And then Wanida. 00:08:40.62\00:08:41.95 But because I needed to, 00:08:41.98\00:08:44.99 he wanted to make sure that I was successful. 00:08:45.02\00:08:48.02 So when people would come, he would say, okay, 00:08:48.06\00:08:50.33 you need to call this person, 00:08:50.36\00:08:52.33 call this lady here, call and see how she is doing. 00:08:52.36\00:08:55.20 You need to do this. 00:08:55.23\00:08:56.67 When you go out, okay, make sure you do this. 00:08:56.70\00:08:58.57 You read this book for your invocations. 00:08:58.60\00:09:01.70 Read this for your prayers. 00:09:01.74\00:09:03.57 Read this, so he would give me training 00:09:03.61\00:09:06.47 that I did have another elder 00:09:06.51\00:09:08.84 that was supposed to work with me 00:09:08.88\00:09:10.81 but he was my trainer. 00:09:10.85\00:09:12.65 He was the one that would train me 00:09:12.68\00:09:14.12 what I needed to do, what I would need to say. 00:09:14.15\00:09:17.19 And I think about a year ago 00:09:17.22\00:09:19.75 when I did my first board meeting to conduct it, 00:09:19.79\00:09:23.29 he was on the sidelines coaching and reading 00:09:23.32\00:09:25.96 and have to say, do this, do that, move on. 00:09:25.99\00:09:30.77 So he's always been uplifting to make sure that, 00:09:30.80\00:09:36.24 the church sees us as a team. 00:09:36.27\00:09:38.34 As one of the first female elders of the church, 00:09:38.37\00:09:43.41 you indicated that there is some problem. 00:09:43.45\00:09:46.08 What kind of problems did you run into in regards to that? 00:09:46.11\00:09:49.18 Well, it's not so much with me, I guess, 00:09:49.22\00:09:51.09 because everyone accepted Roscoe 00:09:51.12\00:09:54.02 and I'm more laidback, it was easier with me. 00:09:54.06\00:09:58.26 So there were some people that did leave the church, 00:09:58.29\00:10:02.16 because they did not want just a female period. 00:10:02.20\00:10:04.83 People in leadership position? 00:10:04.87\00:10:06.50 Right, in leadership, some elders they did leave. 00:10:06.53\00:10:10.31 But the church embraced me. 00:10:10.34\00:10:14.88 And when we will go out, 00:10:14.91\00:10:16.24 we will go out together with communion. 00:10:16.28\00:10:18.65 So people are used to see a team, 00:10:18.68\00:10:21.72 so that's what they are saying 00:10:21.75\00:10:23.39 when we go out, it's a team. 00:10:23.42\00:10:25.69 That's something I see. 00:10:25.72\00:10:27.06 It was all the female elders that I worked with Doritha, 00:10:27.09\00:10:30.73 Phyllis, Wadni, I trained them all to, 00:10:30.76\00:10:34.20 you know, to really be elders. 00:10:34.23\00:10:37.27 Take the eldership seriously, 00:10:37.30\00:10:39.07 because people are looking at you. 00:10:39.10\00:10:41.57 What is a elder? 00:10:41.60\00:10:43.10 Tell our viewers, what is a elder? 00:10:43.14\00:10:45.54 Well, the elder is, 00:10:45.57\00:10:46.98 it's a spiritual leader of the church at City Temple. 00:10:47.01\00:10:52.05 As I mentioned, this is my 33rd year as an elder. 00:10:52.08\00:10:55.32 And when you are a elder, people respect you 00:10:55.35\00:11:01.62 because of the way you conduct yourself, 00:11:01.66\00:11:05.39 how you are just an ordinary person. 00:11:05.43\00:11:08.06 What you are, you're just a shepherd, 00:11:08.10\00:11:10.03 you're just a shepherd. 00:11:10.07\00:11:12.07 When people call, they want you to pray for them, 00:11:12.10\00:11:15.60 come by and visit. 00:11:15.64\00:11:17.21 And that's what we do, that's like, for instance, 00:11:17.24\00:11:21.48 the female in our church that is sick, 00:11:21.51\00:11:23.58 I would give my wife a list to call them, 00:11:23.61\00:11:25.78 call and pray with them. 00:11:25.81\00:11:27.58 And that's what our female members want, 00:11:27.62\00:11:30.62 they want to hear this woman elder pray with them 00:11:30.65\00:11:35.92 because they can tell her things 00:11:35.96\00:11:38.06 that they won't tell me. 00:11:38.09\00:11:41.20 I have to say, you know, 00:11:41.23\00:11:42.63 when I transferred to City Temple many years ago 00:11:42.66\00:11:46.94 and coming to you with the vision about anything, 00:11:46.97\00:11:53.04 so supportive when no one wanted to support, 00:11:53.07\00:11:56.88 you know, God answers prayers, you did. 00:11:56.91\00:11:58.61 You said do it, just do it. 00:11:58.65\00:12:00.38 And 21 years later, 00:12:00.42\00:12:02.15 still ministering a decade later, 00:12:02.18\00:12:04.79 and or if you ask me to do something, 00:12:04.82\00:12:07.42 and I'll say, "Elder Gray..." And you'll say, 00:12:07.46\00:12:09.32 "It's not even open for discussion, 00:12:09.36\00:12:10.73 I need you to do this." 00:12:10.76\00:12:12.13 'Cause you're training us to really serve God, you know. 00:12:12.16\00:12:16.26 And you would always reach out, no matter what. 00:12:16.30\00:12:20.80 I mean, I'm telling you, I've even said, Pastor Gray, 00:12:20.84\00:12:24.47 because that's how I see him, really pastoring us. 00:12:24.51\00:12:28.58 Let's talk about have you ever had a argument? 00:12:28.61\00:12:31.15 You know, what we argue about? 00:12:34.12\00:12:35.45 What you argue about? Time. 00:12:35.48\00:12:36.82 Time? What do you mean time? 00:12:36.85\00:12:38.19 Being late. 00:12:38.22\00:12:39.55 Being late, 00:12:39.59\00:12:40.92 I don't like to be late for anything. 00:12:40.96\00:12:42.29 Okay. And... 00:12:42.32\00:12:43.66 What time does a 6 o'clock meeting start? 00:12:43.69\00:12:45.03 Yeah, what time a 6 o'clock, 00:12:45.06\00:12:46.39 that meeting start at 6, start at 6. 00:12:46.43\00:12:47.76 No, you know, what time does a 6 o'clock meeting start? 00:12:47.80\00:12:49.13 Yeah, you know, what time is 10 o'clock board meeting 00:12:49.16\00:12:51.10 is going to start? 00:12:51.13\00:12:52.47 10 o'clock. 00:12:52.50\00:12:54.70 My wife have a little tendency just to lag behind time, 00:12:54.74\00:12:58.71 just a little bit, and that... 00:12:58.74\00:13:02.08 Do you drive separately? 00:13:02.11\00:13:03.48 No, I have the wait on her. 00:13:03.51\00:13:05.18 We used to drive separately but we come together. 00:13:05.21\00:13:08.58 My philosophy is if there is a meeting 00:13:08.62\00:13:11.49 and it tends to be habitually late, 00:13:11.52\00:13:14.09 I would get there in time for the meeting. 00:13:14.12\00:13:17.49 You know, I don't need to come and sit and do nothing. 00:13:17.53\00:13:22.16 So I would get there when I think I should be there. 00:13:22.20\00:13:25.80 But though, but see, he is glossing over 00:13:25.83\00:13:28.07 the worst argument we had was he got angry at me 00:13:28.10\00:13:33.58 and he pulled the car on the express way, 00:13:33.61\00:13:36.28 pull the car over and got out of the car. 00:13:36.31\00:13:39.51 And then what? And just started walking. 00:13:39.55\00:13:41.82 He was driving? 00:13:41.85\00:13:43.35 He just pulled over, he was driving, 00:13:43.39\00:13:45.55 and he pulled over. 00:13:45.59\00:13:46.92 I don't know what that... 00:13:46.96\00:13:48.29 I can't remember what was about but... 00:13:48.32\00:13:49.66 Probably about time. 00:13:49.69\00:13:52.09 But that's the most, most of time when he is angry, 00:13:52.13\00:13:57.40 he will tend to probably leave the house, 00:13:57.43\00:14:02.04 or just go into his room. 00:14:02.07\00:14:05.37 I would do the silent treatment for a little while. 00:14:05.41\00:14:08.21 So you know how to respect those boundaries. 00:14:08.24\00:14:10.31 Yes. Oh, yes. 00:14:10.35\00:14:11.68 You know. 00:14:11.71\00:14:13.05 I want to come back to eldership, 00:14:13.08\00:14:16.15 the uniqueness of it. 00:14:16.18\00:14:17.65 I mean, there's not a whole lot of families 00:14:17.69\00:14:19.89 got two elders in the family, the husband and the wife. 00:14:19.92\00:14:23.22 You couldn't handle 00:14:23.26\00:14:24.59 if I was an elder at the church? 00:14:24.63\00:14:26.59 Sure, I could. 00:14:26.63\00:14:27.96 Would it work together? 00:14:28.00\00:14:29.63 Would we work together like this? 00:14:29.66\00:14:31.23 Now she is driving me out of my mind. 00:14:31.27\00:14:34.07 You know, so it won't be anything different. 00:14:34.10\00:14:36.60 I have to say, I'm glad he is a elder 00:14:36.64\00:14:38.84 and I could sit down and... 00:14:38.87\00:14:41.34 What's so weird though 00:14:41.38\00:14:42.74 one minute we are sitting next together in church 00:14:42.78\00:14:45.45 and next when I look up, he is on the pulpit, I said, 00:14:45.48\00:14:47.68 "didn't you know you were serving?" 00:14:47.72\00:14:49.48 And he'll like, "No, well, my name was in the bulletin." 00:14:49.52\00:14:52.39 But it's like, you know, he'll take his position, 00:14:52.42\00:14:55.62 he'll take his place, 00:14:55.66\00:14:56.99 he takes it very seriously, you know, so. 00:14:57.03\00:14:59.69 My question is, you know, 00:14:59.73\00:15:02.90 being that you both are elders, 00:15:02.93\00:15:06.77 is this may be causing you 00:15:06.80\00:15:11.57 to really, really dig down deeper 00:15:11.61\00:15:14.54 to maintain a certain aura about yourself? 00:15:14.58\00:15:19.21 Do you understand what I'm saying? 00:15:19.25\00:15:21.15 I go back to my, our TC days in high school. 00:15:21.18\00:15:25.25 The first thing I learned about leadership, 00:15:25.29\00:15:27.29 respect is to where respect is given. 00:15:27.32\00:15:30.76 And being in the army, being a veteran, 00:15:30.79\00:15:33.86 being a leadership at church, 00:15:33.90\00:15:36.33 that's something that's more or less 00:15:36.36\00:15:37.70 is fallen by wayside respect. 00:15:37.73\00:15:40.07 And you try to bring that dignity back with the... 00:15:40.10\00:15:43.87 to the elder board. 00:15:43.91\00:15:45.24 I have a fantastic leader. 00:15:45.27\00:15:47.84 When I first joined on the board, Elder Briton. 00:15:47.88\00:15:51.48 And he was one straight guy, 00:15:51.51\00:15:55.15 and I can remember he just send me places. 00:15:55.18\00:15:58.92 He said, 00:15:58.95\00:16:02.32 "Elder Gray, this is first Elder Briton," 00:16:02.36\00:16:05.43 that command. 00:16:05.46\00:16:07.23 Little later about the church died, 00:16:07.26\00:16:08.60 she is 95 years old. 00:16:08.63\00:16:10.70 "I want you to go and buy that type of clothes, 00:16:10.73\00:16:12.93 not the funeral or the wake service," 00:16:12.97\00:16:15.47 And I said, "You couldn't find any other elder." 00:16:15.50\00:16:19.51 He's like, "Your name came up, so go close it out. 00:16:19.54\00:16:21.84 There's only few people going to be there." 00:16:21.88\00:16:24.45 I went to the funeral home, they had busses there, 00:16:24.48\00:16:27.38 and it was packed. 00:16:27.42\00:16:30.12 And I was so nervous, I was just sweating. 00:16:30.15\00:16:34.26 Two little sisters there, 00:16:34.29\00:16:35.62 sister Iotabird and her daughter Peters, 00:16:35.66\00:16:38.69 they grab me by the hand and that calmness 00:16:38.73\00:16:43.03 just came right over and they prayed, 00:16:43.06\00:16:44.50 and the calmness came right over me. 00:16:44.53\00:16:47.00 And after that, everything just plain came right together. 00:16:47.04\00:16:52.74 Still, Nattie, does it make you, you know, 00:16:52.77\00:16:56.34 feel that you had to present yourself 00:16:56.38\00:17:00.12 in a special way like Elder Gray 00:17:00.15\00:17:03.49 was just talking about respect, you know? 00:17:03.52\00:17:06.52 I am me, I am just me. 00:17:06.55\00:17:09.16 But I think the church knew me and then electing me, 00:17:09.19\00:17:13.36 they knew what I stood for. 00:17:13.40\00:17:15.53 They knew my personality. 00:17:15.56\00:17:18.17 So I don't, I have not changed, I think I'm the same. 00:17:18.20\00:17:23.30 But one thing that it's not just with the eldership, 00:17:23.34\00:17:27.14 we have to go back to 00:17:27.18\00:17:28.51 when has was deacon and head deacon, 00:17:28.54\00:17:31.15 because deacon and head deacon, 00:17:31.18\00:17:34.22 it was a strain, and I might say 00:17:34.25\00:17:36.79 most of our arguments were with the church. 00:17:36.82\00:17:39.05 Why? Because when he was, 00:17:39.09\00:17:40.99 when we had children at home, 00:17:41.02\00:17:42.99 I was left with the children as he was going to this visit, 00:17:43.02\00:17:47.26 that visit to do communion. 00:17:47.30\00:17:49.66 I have to go to the church and I need to mow the lawn, 00:17:49.70\00:17:53.80 I have to do this. 00:17:53.84\00:17:55.17 He just church focus. 00:17:55.20\00:17:58.24 So I was used to that phone calls, 00:17:58.27\00:18:00.28 I think we would get more phone calls at our house 00:18:00.31\00:18:02.18 than the pastors would get. 00:18:02.21\00:18:04.01 Still getting. 00:18:04.05\00:18:05.38 People will call, "Elder Gray, what about this? 00:18:05.41\00:18:06.75 Elder Gray." 00:18:06.78\00:18:08.12 So I would fill those phone calls. 00:18:08.15\00:18:09.88 So that's, I guess that's where my training started to knowing. 00:18:09.92\00:18:13.96 It's easier for me being an elder now 00:18:13.99\00:18:17.69 because the children are older 00:18:17.73\00:18:20.46 and my life then was with the children 00:18:20.50\00:18:22.46 and sometimes we would take the kids with us. 00:18:22.50\00:18:25.20 If he will go somewhere I'll say, 00:18:25.23\00:18:26.57 Okay, we're all going. 00:18:26.60\00:18:28.04 And we will pack up everybody 00:18:28.07\00:18:29.87 to go and visit a sick, do communion, 00:18:29.90\00:18:33.91 Gina would sing and we would all be involved. 00:18:33.94\00:18:37.71 So... Ricky played the violin. 00:18:37.75\00:18:39.78 Right, Ricky could play the violin. 00:18:39.81\00:18:42.68 So it would become a family affair. 00:18:42.72\00:18:46.15 And it took a lot to just maintain 00:18:46.19\00:18:48.69 our household during those years 00:18:48.72\00:18:51.23 because I knew, okay, he had to be with the church. 00:18:51.26\00:18:54.63 My job with the school took a lot 00:18:54.66\00:18:57.03 because working for church school 00:18:57.07\00:18:59.77 I'm constantly, he has a meeting, 00:18:59.80\00:19:02.20 I have a meeting. 00:19:02.24\00:19:03.57 But we've learnt to work with it 00:19:03.61\00:19:06.68 but I guess because I'm a church school teacher, 00:19:06.71\00:19:09.74 I couldn't be risky and do this, 00:19:09.78\00:19:11.81 so I have to spin the same. 00:19:11.85\00:19:14.12 So, it didn't mean to put on any ears be any different. 00:19:14.15\00:19:18.05 What you see is what I would have, 00:19:18.09\00:19:21.22 what I...Oh, this is funny. 00:19:21.26\00:19:23.39 One day before we were, before I became an elder, 00:19:23.43\00:19:27.73 I had this skirt and it was kind of short 00:19:27.76\00:19:30.43 and one of the members in the church says, 00:19:30.47\00:19:34.70 Elder Gray, your wife has on the short skirt. 00:19:34.74\00:19:37.47 He said, I like it, 00:19:37.51\00:19:38.84 he came right off walking 00:19:38.87\00:19:40.21 so that's I... 00:19:40.24\00:19:43.95 That's just been me, I'm me. 00:19:43.98\00:19:45.98 Okay. 00:19:46.01\00:19:47.35 I remember we met, first time we met 00:19:47.38\00:19:48.72 we were in counseling program at Wednesday, 00:19:48.75\00:19:51.35 and I didn't like you. 00:19:51.39\00:19:53.96 What? I know. 00:19:53.99\00:19:55.36 I was so quiet. 00:19:55.39\00:19:56.73 I know, it was just something about you 00:19:56.76\00:19:58.59 that did not connect. 00:19:58.63\00:19:59.96 Can I just be transparent here? 00:20:00.00\00:20:02.03 And I didn't know, I knew you were Adventist, 00:20:02.06\00:20:04.93 I did know, but I just felt a coldness about you 00:20:04.97\00:20:08.97 but over the years, I've to be honest, 00:20:09.00\00:20:11.21 I went to another church 00:20:11.24\00:20:12.61 and then when I transferred 00:20:12.64\00:20:13.98 not knowing the relationship that we would have 00:20:14.01\00:20:17.71 in our daughters with elder Gray and Arthur 00:20:17.75\00:20:20.75 in our lives how they came together, 00:20:20.78\00:20:23.05 but I've grown to love you now. 00:20:23.08\00:20:25.52 You know what I'm saying. 00:20:25.55\00:20:26.96 Erin loves you, yes and I praise the Lord 00:20:26.99\00:20:29.46 but I just didn't know you, 00:20:29.49\00:20:31.19 we would go to class, leave, hi, bye, 00:20:31.23\00:20:33.73 we didn't have a relationship 00:20:33.76\00:20:35.13 not knowing that God was orchestrating all of these 00:20:35.16\00:20:39.20 and now look at it, we're family. 00:20:39.23\00:20:41.47 I want to ask a question? 00:20:41.50\00:20:43.64 Date night, me time, you know, 00:20:43.67\00:20:45.37 what do you guys do to enjoy yourself? 00:20:45.41\00:20:47.54 Well, down to the years, we play scrabble 00:20:47.58\00:20:50.35 when we were down there. You love scrabble. 00:20:50.38\00:20:52.28 And I can't beat her. 00:20:52.31\00:20:54.22 You can't beat? No, I can't beat. 00:20:54.25\00:20:56.72 I think all these 38 years, I beat about twice. 00:20:56.75\00:20:59.65 My goodness, she is that good. 00:20:59.69\00:21:01.02 That's when I block up the boarding kit. 00:21:01.06\00:21:03.59 That's what he likes to block up the board. 00:21:03.63\00:21:06.43 But, we both and we love to watch 00:21:06.46\00:21:09.40 old black and white movies. 00:21:09.43\00:21:11.67 The western. 00:21:11.70\00:21:13.34 Did you do the western? 00:21:13.37\00:21:14.70 Did you do? Oh, yeah, 00:21:14.74\00:21:16.07 Life of man. Oh yes. 00:21:16.10\00:21:17.44 We don't watch these reality shows 00:21:17.47\00:21:19.91 with judges there not, 00:21:19.94\00:21:21.38 but a, you know, but we love the old, 00:21:21.41\00:21:24.31 the old westerns, 00:21:24.35\00:21:25.68 the old black and white movies, love old movies. 00:21:25.71\00:21:29.28 And you enjoy that, you enjoy that, so okay, 00:21:29.32\00:21:33.02 so in our last minute, 00:21:33.05\00:21:34.82 talk about how you make it work in 00:21:34.86\00:21:36.89 how to help someone make it work? 00:21:36.93\00:21:39.29 Prayer. Just prayer. 00:21:39.33\00:21:42.43 Right now I'm in the prayer ministry of our church 00:21:42.46\00:21:44.87 and did had really helped both of us, 00:21:44.90\00:21:48.64 because now we spend a lot of time in prayer 00:21:48.67\00:21:51.54 And more time. 00:21:51.57\00:21:52.91 We got more time in prayer, 00:21:52.94\00:21:54.41 but since my wife became an elder, 00:21:54.44\00:21:56.08 I see the spiritual goal within her. 00:21:56.11\00:21:58.58 She is constantly reading, 00:21:58.61\00:21:59.95 doing this, calling people, praying for them. 00:21:59.98\00:22:02.88 People call all the time, ask one special prayer 00:22:02.92\00:22:05.19 and I actually pray, wait a minute, 00:22:05.22\00:22:07.92 that I ask, and I go to upstairs 00:22:07.96\00:22:09.29 and get the other phone, 00:22:09.32\00:22:10.66 and then she'll pray, then I'll pray. 00:22:10.69\00:22:14.60 Amazing. Amazing. 00:22:14.63\00:22:15.96 And it shows, 00:22:16.00\00:22:17.33 it's really a blessing, you know. 00:22:17.37\00:22:19.77 We thank the Lord and I just want to say to you 00:22:19.80\00:22:22.14 that we love you both, 00:22:22.17\00:22:23.77 we're so honored to have you as our elders 00:22:23.81\00:22:27.84 because you still are, you know, 00:22:27.88\00:22:29.24 as even though Arthur is ordained elder now, 00:22:29.28\00:22:32.01 you know, being the elder 00:22:32.05\00:22:33.38 and I'm able to sit back and watch 00:22:33.42\00:22:35.12 how all this is orchestrated in my church 00:22:35.15\00:22:38.02 as God moves forward. 00:22:38.05\00:22:39.52 Thank you so much for being a part. 00:22:39.55\00:22:41.02 When I baptized, I kept down a long time. 00:22:41.06\00:22:44.56 You take him back down, take him back, take him back. 00:22:44.59\00:22:47.66 Your Sabbath school was the first Sabbath school. 00:22:47.70\00:22:50.27 Sabbath school class. 00:22:50.30\00:22:51.63 Yes, yes, yes. Yes, so we thank God. 00:22:51.67\00:22:53.40 Well, listen, 00:22:53.44\00:22:54.77 thank you for being a part of making it work, 00:22:54.80\00:22:56.30 and continue to make it work for God. 00:22:56.34\00:22:58.97 God bless you both. 00:22:59.01\00:23:00.34 And for us. 00:23:00.38\00:23:01.71 Thank you. Thank you so much. 00:23:01.74\00:23:03.08 Yeah. 00:23:03.11\00:23:04.45 I guess, I must shake your hand, too. 00:23:04.48\00:23:05.81 Yeah, 'cause I'm going to get up and hug you. 00:23:05.85\00:23:08.02 God bless you both. 00:23:08.05\00:23:09.42 Oh, thank you. Amen. Thank you. 00:23:09.45\00:23:12.05 Arthur that was a very loving interview. 00:23:12.09\00:23:14.62 They're special to us both 'cause again we know elder, 00:23:14.66\00:23:18.33 Elders Roscoe and Nattie Gray. 00:23:18.36\00:23:20.76 What do you think? 00:23:20.80\00:23:22.13 Are there any perfect marriages 00:23:22.16\00:23:23.50 because they seem like they got it going on. 00:23:23.53\00:23:27.87 Wow, that's hard for me to say, 00:23:27.90\00:23:29.24 I can't really say 00:23:29.27\00:23:30.74 there is a perfect marriage outside of, 00:23:30.77\00:23:33.61 a person that is willing to follow 00:23:33.64\00:23:38.81 another person without question, 00:23:38.85\00:23:41.58 and then that's not perfect. 00:23:41.62\00:23:43.59 You know, I think every marriage has challenges. 00:23:43.62\00:23:47.39 I agree with that, I do agree. 00:23:47.42\00:23:48.92 But I think what the key is, is how you work through 00:23:48.96\00:23:52.03 those challenges and realizing that, 00:23:52.06\00:23:56.03 a solution is always available, no matter what. 00:23:56.06\00:23:59.70 I like that, you know, you are that 00:23:59.73\00:24:01.24 Ocala, she says happy wife, happy life, 00:24:01.27\00:24:04.77 let's say that together, happy wife, happy life, 00:24:04.81\00:24:09.04 do you agree with that? No. 00:24:09.08\00:24:10.58 I knew he was going to say that, I knew it. 00:24:10.61\00:24:12.08 I know, I mean, I'm only saying it, Kim, 00:24:12.11\00:24:14.82 because, you know, can I get a little personal? 00:24:14.85\00:24:18.79 What? 00:24:18.82\00:24:20.16 Okay, go ahead, get little personal. 00:24:20.19\00:24:21.52 I mean, I've tried to make you happy 00:24:21.56\00:24:23.53 in so many different ways and it still wasn't enough. 00:24:23.56\00:24:25.89 You wanted me to clean this up, and if I clean it up, 00:24:25.93\00:24:29.46 then it wasn't good enough, you wanted me to clean that up, 00:24:29.50\00:24:31.77 and I cleaned that up, it wasn't good enough, 00:24:31.80\00:24:34.04 so it didn't make any difference 00:24:34.07\00:24:35.60 how happy I was trying to make you, 00:24:35.64\00:24:37.54 you still didn't connect with me. 00:24:37.57\00:24:39.11 So you remember when I wanted you to mow the lawn 00:24:39.14\00:24:41.14 and then I wanted you go to straight, 00:24:41.18\00:24:42.84 then I wanted to go circles, 00:24:42.88\00:24:44.28 then I wanted to go diagonal, and you gave me the lawn mover. 00:24:44.31\00:24:46.72 I told you to mow the lawn. 00:24:46.75\00:24:48.28 And you went to play golf. 00:24:48.32\00:24:49.65 Absolutely 00:24:49.68\00:24:51.02 And I did, I started doing the lawn, 00:24:51.05\00:24:52.39 until I broke my knee. 00:24:52.42\00:24:53.76 Yeah, you know, that was an excuse, 00:24:53.79\00:24:55.59 you still should have got there and try to do that alone. 00:24:55.62\00:24:58.29 You know, listen to this scripture. 00:24:58.33\00:24:59.89 I like this scripture, 00:24:59.93\00:25:01.60 "I called on the Lord in my distress 00:25:01.63\00:25:04.17 and he answers me." 00:25:04.20\00:25:05.67 Psalms 120:1. 00:25:05.70\00:25:07.54 So I believe that Elder Gray, 00:25:07.57\00:25:10.71 you know, Roscoe knows how to call up on the Lord, 00:25:10.74\00:25:13.98 and they prayed together, 00:25:14.01\00:25:15.34 did you hear they're praying together, 00:25:15.38\00:25:16.91 worshipping together, 00:25:16.95\00:25:18.28 and being able to use lives the word of God 00:25:18.31\00:25:20.62 to help them sustain in their problems. 00:25:20.65\00:25:22.35 Yes, you know, and that's really important, 00:25:22.38\00:25:25.05 their relationship with God is carrying them through. 00:25:25.09\00:25:29.16 Oh, yes. 00:25:29.19\00:25:30.76 It's really apparent everything that they do, you know, 00:25:30.79\00:25:35.23 they refer to the Lord as being their motivation. 00:25:35.26\00:25:38.27 Yes, they travel together, they cook. 00:25:38.30\00:25:40.97 Did you know Roscoe can make a main sweet potato pie. 00:25:41.00\00:25:44.04 He is excellent. 00:25:44.07\00:25:45.41 He can make some chop less like with gravy and onions, 00:25:45.44\00:25:48.94 and you know, this vegetarian dish 00:25:48.98\00:25:51.68 and it's just so delicious but, Arthur, you can cook. 00:25:51.71\00:25:55.72 I can't, you know, 00:25:55.75\00:25:57.09 I can't make no sweet potato pie, 00:25:57.12\00:25:58.55 but I was wondering, have you made me one yet. 00:25:58.59\00:26:01.96 No, I don't do sweet potato pie, 00:26:01.99\00:26:06.66 but, you know, I do apple cobbler, 00:26:06.70\00:26:08.10 you make a main apple cobbler. 00:26:08.13\00:26:09.90 Arthur makes a main apple cobbler. 00:26:09.93\00:26:11.43 When do you do anything that bakes? 00:26:11.47\00:26:13.87 I don't bake, you knew that, I don't bake, I cook. 00:26:13.90\00:26:16.81 You're excellent cook. 00:26:16.84\00:26:18.21 Come on, now give me some, give me some love. 00:26:18.24\00:26:19.77 You're good, good cook. 00:26:19.81\00:26:21.14 I'm a great cook, I'm a chef. 00:26:21.18\00:26:24.11 Would you take me to that level? 00:26:24.15\00:26:25.88 Okay, anyway would you enjoy my cooking? 00:26:25.91\00:26:28.32 Absolutely. 00:26:28.35\00:26:29.68 And I enjoy your apple cobbler. 00:26:29.72\00:26:31.39 And I thank the Lord that we have balance 00:26:31.42\00:26:33.15 like the Gray's being able to come together. 00:26:33.19\00:26:36.12 Now you are elder at church, I am not a elder and, 00:26:36.16\00:26:40.50 you know I stay in the background and... 00:26:40.53\00:26:43.33 And that's a good place for you, 00:26:43.37\00:26:44.90 you see you recognize where you need to be. 00:26:44.93\00:26:47.97 You know what I am saying, I mean... 00:26:48.00\00:26:49.34 I do. 00:26:49.37\00:26:50.71 You know, that's the understanding, you know, 00:26:50.74\00:26:52.07 who you are as an individual and what's important. 00:26:52.11\00:26:54.41 'Cause you imagine us both being elders. 00:26:54.44\00:26:56.71 No. 00:26:56.75\00:26:58.08 One of us will have to resign. 00:26:58.11\00:26:59.45 Absolutely. 00:26:59.48\00:27:00.82 Well, I know the Gray's commitment, 00:27:00.85\00:27:02.88 they love God, they also communicate, 00:27:02.92\00:27:06.02 they share quality time together. 00:27:06.05\00:27:08.06 They're family oriented. 00:27:08.09\00:27:09.62 See, that's the key on making it work. 00:27:09.66\00:27:11.99 You got to recognize what is important for you 00:27:12.03\00:27:15.20 to be a healthy and whole family, 00:27:15.23\00:27:17.70 it doesn't matter. 00:27:17.73\00:27:19.07 And with few seconds we have left, 00:27:19.10\00:27:21.40 I think we need to emphasize prayer. 00:27:21.44\00:27:24.67 Prayer, prayer is the key. 00:27:24.71\00:27:26.78 The Bible says pray without ceasing. 00:27:26.81\00:27:29.31 Well, thank you for being with us on making it work. 00:27:29.34\00:27:32.71 I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. 00:27:32.75\00:27:34.08 I'm Arthur Nowlin. 00:27:34.12\00:27:35.45 God bless. 00:27:35.48\00:27:36.82