Hi, I'm Dr. Kim
Logan-Nowlin. I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:00:31.53\00:00:34.86
And welcome to Making It Work.
00:00:34.90\00:00:37.63
I'm so excited
to be here with you.
00:00:37.67\00:00:40.27
Arthur, are you
excited to be here with me?
00:00:40.30\00:00:41.74
I love it. Love it. You love it?
00:00:41.77\00:00:43.67
What do you love
about Making It Work?
00:00:43.71\00:00:45.34
I love just meeting the people.
00:00:45.37\00:00:48.58
I love talking about the topics,
00:00:48.61\00:00:50.98
I love the
realism of being involved
00:00:51.01\00:00:55.18
and trying to find
solution, it's kind of excited
00:00:55.22\00:00:58.82
and it's almost like pulling
a puzzle together, you know.
00:00:58.85\00:01:01.59
Oh, I agree with
that, learning how to love.
00:01:01.62\00:01:04.39
When you think about
the fruits of the spirit,
00:01:04.43\00:01:06.56
what fruit really
describes of me for you?
00:01:06.59\00:01:11.33
I don't know.
You're taking too long.
00:01:11.37\00:01:12.83
Well, I'm trying find--
00:01:12.87\00:01:14.20
They're only 9,
there's not 20 fruits now.
00:01:14.24\00:01:16.81
I understand, long suffering.
Long suffering, is your word?
00:01:16.84\00:01:18.97
That's the one, that's the one.
00:01:19.01\00:01:20.34
You know, why do you
say long suffering about me?
00:01:20.38\00:01:22.14
Well, because I've been
suffering for long time.
00:01:22.18\00:01:25.35
You know what? You need
to stop, you need to stop.
00:01:25.38\00:01:26.78
See, or else go say joy, peace,
00:01:26.82\00:01:29.18
you give me a peace of
path, is all understanding?
00:01:29.22\00:01:31.45
But, see, you have
to really understand
00:01:31.49\00:01:33.39
what long suffering means?
00:01:33.42\00:01:34.76
Okay, tell me.
00:01:34.79\00:01:36.12
You know, I mean
even though I'm suffering,
00:01:36.16\00:01:37.63
that's been for long time,
00:01:37.66\00:01:39.96
there's a reward at
end of my suffering.
00:01:40.00\00:01:42.36
What's the reward dear?
00:01:42.40\00:01:43.73
You know, that
somewhere down the line,
00:01:43.77\00:01:45.93
that we will bring it together
00:01:45.97\00:01:47.87
and I won't have to
suffer as long as I did before.
00:01:47.90\00:01:51.97
Oh, we had an opportunity
to interview a wonderful man,
00:01:52.01\00:01:57.05
Pastor Floyd Spence
00:01:57.08\00:01:59.01
of the Hope
Seventh-day Adventist Church
00:01:59.05\00:02:00.92
in Toronto, Canada.
00:02:00.95\00:02:02.58
He had the opportunity
to visit with us in Detroit,
00:02:02.62\00:02:05.85
at the city Triumph Church,
00:02:05.89\00:02:07.52
and let's talk
about Pastor Spence.
00:02:07.56\00:02:09.52
Great person, you know,
I was really enthusiastic
00:02:09.56\00:02:12.29
when he accepted the fact
00:02:12.33\00:02:14.20
that he was going to making
the appearance on our program
00:02:14.23\00:02:18.07
and bringing his wife,
00:02:18.10\00:02:19.67
that was something
that was really important.
00:02:19.70\00:02:21.37
There was a bless
and they also brought
00:02:21.40\00:02:22.80
their two children with them.
00:02:22.84\00:02:24.34
So he's a family man
and I like to think of
00:02:24.37\00:02:27.74
Making It Work
gets relationships
00:02:27.78\00:02:30.15
and how he has to
balance being a pastor
00:02:30.18\00:02:32.45
but also he's
married with two children
00:02:32.48\00:02:35.22
and also a therapist.
00:02:35.25\00:02:37.15
And a author. And a author.
00:02:37.19\00:02:39.59
So he's balancing things,
and I find it so important
00:02:39.62\00:02:44.09
being able to have
God a part all of that.
00:02:44.13\00:02:46.59
He really pulls on the
power of the Holy Spirit.
00:02:46.63\00:02:49.83
Also, the man can
preach. He's a great preacher.
00:02:49.86\00:02:53.84
Well, let's go to the interview
with Pastor Floyd Spence,
00:02:53.87\00:02:56.74
Learning How to Love?
00:02:56.77\00:03:01.31
Pastor, we're so
happy to have you here,
00:03:01.34\00:03:03.95
but most of all, some of
things that you're teaching
00:03:03.98\00:03:09.35
in your different
workshops and seminars,
00:03:09.38\00:03:12.12
what's the most
prevalent thing that stands out
00:03:12.15\00:03:16.02
among all the
issues that you deal with?
00:03:16.06\00:03:20.10
Thank you, Arthur,
00:03:20.13\00:03:21.46
it's really pleasure
for me to be with you,
00:03:21.50\00:03:23.80
just do a chat with you today.
00:03:23.83\00:03:27.30
One of the, well, the
main challenge I've seen
00:03:27.34\00:03:29.50
is communication.
00:03:29.54\00:03:32.27
How people interact,
how people share their view,
00:03:32.31\00:03:36.71
share their concerns
00:03:36.75\00:03:38.08
and how the other
person interprets that
00:03:38.11\00:03:41.02
and sometimes, there is
a problem in understanding
00:03:41.05\00:03:47.06
as related to what
the other person wants.
00:03:47.09\00:03:49.02
Yes,
communication is a big challenge
00:03:49.06\00:03:50.79
for most people.
00:03:50.83\00:03:52.16
So with the different
techniques in communication,
00:03:52.19\00:03:56.90
I'd assume that we'll have,
00:03:56.93\00:03:59.23
how do we get over
some of the disagreements
00:03:59.27\00:04:02.97
and the
challenges that stands out,
00:04:03.00\00:04:05.47
and since it
consistently haunts the family?
00:04:05.51\00:04:10.81
Yeah, well, as I always tell
couples and peoples in general,
00:04:10.85\00:04:17.52
it is the desire,
00:04:17.55\00:04:18.89
desire of every
single human being
00:04:18.92\00:04:21.19
to be seen,
heard, and understood.
00:04:21.22\00:04:24.73
And if people can
really embrace the concept
00:04:24.76\00:04:29.36
and utilize that
in their relationship,
00:04:29.40\00:04:32.30
in their everyday life,
00:04:32.33\00:04:33.80
then most of the
problem would be non-existent,
00:04:33.84\00:04:36.97
really, yeah.
00:04:37.01\00:04:38.34
Pastor, tell us
about your background
00:04:38.37\00:04:39.91
and, Lisa, we want to
welcome you to the program.
00:04:39.94\00:04:42.58
Thanks for having me.
00:04:42.61\00:04:43.95
Oh, thank you,
you're a beautiful couple.
00:04:43.98\00:04:45.45
Let's talk about, you know,
how long you guys been married
00:04:45.48\00:04:47.82
and your educational
background, and what you do.
00:04:47.85\00:04:51.65
Okay, so first of all,
I'm driven by the belief
00:04:51.69\00:04:56.59
that there is
greatness within all of us.
00:04:56.62\00:04:58.73
Yes.
00:04:58.76\00:05:00.10
And I believe it
with all my passion
00:05:00.13\00:05:03.77
and consequently,
I've decided to help,
00:05:03.80\00:05:06.47
to unleash that greatness
00:05:06.50\00:05:08.00
that is within
those people that I meet.
00:05:08.04\00:05:11.34
I'm from, originally,
my native home is Jamaica,
00:05:11.37\00:05:15.64
island of Jamaica.
00:05:15.68\00:05:17.05
Yes.
00:05:17.08\00:05:18.75
Yeah, and I grew up
00:05:18.78\00:05:20.65
with the fourth generation
Seventh-day Adventist,
00:05:20.68\00:05:23.15
and of course,
things happen along the way,
00:05:23.18\00:05:27.32
as it relates to my faith
and got baptized later on.
00:05:27.36\00:05:32.29
And went off to do
Bachelor Degree in Theology
00:05:32.33\00:05:37.47
at West in this college known
Modern Caribbean University.
00:05:37.50\00:05:41.14
And then I
pursue a Master's Degree
00:05:41.17\00:05:42.77
in Counseling Psychology
00:05:42.80\00:05:44.77
and then Doctor
of Ministry degree
00:05:44.81\00:05:46.71
at the Andrews University,
00:05:46.74\00:05:48.08
and I've done a
numerous other certification
00:05:48.11\00:05:50.78
in Human Sexuality
and Executive Coaching.
00:05:50.81\00:05:53.95
And here I'm today,
00:05:53.98\00:05:55.32
I've pulled all of
those things together,
00:05:55.35\00:05:58.59
and I've found that
they have become an asset.
00:05:58.62\00:06:01.12
My training is helping people
00:06:01.16\00:06:03.06
within the context of the church
00:06:03.09\00:06:04.96
and even outside of the church.
00:06:04.99\00:06:07.16
So we've been
married like 15 years,
00:06:07.20\00:06:10.30
this July 4, it will
be probably 16 years.
00:06:10.33\00:06:14.47
Just the other
day. Yes, the other day.
00:06:14.50\00:06:17.14
Looking like
teenagers. Yeah, thank you, yes.
00:06:17.17\00:06:20.48
So we met at Andrews Memorial
Seventh-day Adventist church,
00:06:20.51\00:06:25.85
that's my home
church back in Jamaica.
00:06:25.88\00:06:28.28
He was just being
introduced to the church
00:06:28.32\00:06:31.92
as the intern of the church.
00:06:31.95\00:06:35.02
Yeah. Oh, really?
00:06:35.06\00:06:36.39
Yeah, he spotted
me from the distance.
00:06:36.42\00:06:37.86
What?
00:06:37.89\00:06:39.53
I was rolling in
00:06:39.56\00:06:41.26
and I saw this lady
standing at the door,
00:06:41.30\00:06:44.07
she was a greeter
00:06:44.10\00:06:46.67
and she was
handing off the bulletin,
00:06:46.70\00:06:49.47
and I said was woo!
00:06:49.50\00:06:50.84
Woo! Nice.
00:06:50.87\00:06:53.17
He was watching
me, I didn't see him.
00:06:53.21\00:06:55.74
Okay. But he had his eyes on.
00:06:55.78\00:06:58.98
Yeah. That's great.
00:06:59.01\00:07:00.35
And ever since, all
right. Yeah, rest is history.
00:07:00.38\00:07:02.95
So come on now.
00:07:02.98\00:07:04.92
So you guys have two children?
00:07:04.95\00:07:06.69
Yes. Right.
00:07:06.72\00:07:08.06
Yes, tell us what you do, Lisa,
00:07:08.09\00:07:09.42
to compliment
this great man of God.
00:07:09.46\00:07:11.83
Well,
00:07:11.86\00:07:13.50
I'm really in the
background most of the times,
00:07:13.53\00:07:16.00
but I try to prove with
him, I not try to prove with him
00:07:16.03\00:07:20.20
and I stand by him
and always there with him.
00:07:20.24\00:07:24.07
He has an idea,
he bounces it off me,
00:07:24.11\00:07:26.07
and I tell him whether or
not, yeah, I think, you know,
00:07:26.11\00:07:29.24
I think we run with
that idea or not and then,
00:07:29.28\00:07:31.61
he would pray about it
and see what comes out of it.
00:07:31.65\00:07:35.92
Definitely. Yeah.
00:07:35.95\00:07:37.29
That's really
significant though,
00:07:37.32\00:07:39.22
and I say that
because a lot of times,
00:07:39.25\00:07:42.52
the support that the
spouse gives to their partner
00:07:42.56\00:07:46.66
is really essential for
them to stay healthy and whole.
00:07:46.70\00:07:50.67
You know, so
it's really important
00:07:50.70\00:07:52.93
and a lot of times
we can get caught up
00:07:52.97\00:07:54.77
in our busy schedules,
00:07:54.80\00:07:56.64
and we can over
look that component,
00:07:56.67\00:07:59.31
but it's really fortunate
that you both understand
00:07:59.34\00:08:02.81
what you need from each other
00:08:02.84\00:08:04.35
and you reach out and grab that.
00:08:04.38\00:08:06.05
Yeah, especially as
pastor, being a pastor's wife,
00:08:06.08\00:08:08.35
it's not easy.
00:08:08.38\00:08:10.09
No, it's not. Oh, I can imagine.
00:08:10.12\00:08:11.45
The constant moving, you
know, uprooting the family,
00:08:11.49\00:08:14.62
and so it takes as
spouses very understanding,
00:08:14.66\00:08:17.89
very supportive, and
really appreciate that you know,
00:08:17.93\00:08:20.86
so supportive she is.
00:08:20.90\00:08:22.23
So you're pastoring
now in Toronto, Canada,
00:08:22.26\00:08:24.60
in the Hope
Seventh-day Adventist Church.
00:08:24.63\00:08:25.97
Right. Right.
00:08:26.00\00:08:27.34
Lisa, what has been
some of the adjustments
00:08:27.37\00:08:29.54
you have had to make,
just being first lady,
00:08:29.57\00:08:31.44
being the pastor's wife.
00:08:31.47\00:08:32.91
Oh, well, I was
liking when he was talking
00:08:32.94\00:08:34.94
about the constant moving
00:08:34.98\00:08:36.31
and recently, we
moved from Ottawa to Toronto
00:08:36.34\00:08:39.21
which is like well,
it's two years not recent,
00:08:39.25\00:08:41.65
but then I had to give up my job
00:08:41.68\00:08:43.15
and all that, those
things are challenging.
00:08:43.18\00:08:46.25
And then, now we're at Hope
00:08:46.29\00:08:49.36
adjusting to
that family of Hope,
00:08:49.39\00:08:52.39
it's been a good adjustment.
00:08:52.43\00:08:53.76
Hope is great family
00:08:53.80\00:08:55.13
and they are great people there,
00:08:55.16\00:08:56.67
and they've welcomed
us and treated us well.
00:08:56.70\00:08:59.60
How about the children?
00:08:59.63\00:09:00.97
How has
transition been for them?
00:09:01.00\00:09:03.54
Initially, the
children were really,
00:09:03.57\00:09:07.71
"Ah, no, we don't want to go,"
but eventually they have to go.
00:09:07.74\00:09:12.21
They have to go.
00:09:12.25\00:09:13.58
They have to go,
there's no choice about it,
00:09:13.62\00:09:15.88
but the adjustment and
schools making new friends,
00:09:15.92\00:09:19.35
that's always a challenge,
00:09:19.39\00:09:20.72
but, you know, we
try to be there for them
00:09:20.76\00:09:22.82
along the every step
of the way and tell them,
00:09:22.86\00:09:25.56
"Listen, you
know, God is with us,
00:09:25.59\00:09:27.60
he wants us to do this."
00:09:27.63\00:09:28.96
And we try to just
instill good values in them.
00:09:29.00\00:09:32.87
Tell them to pray about it.
00:09:32.90\00:09:34.24
Let's try and find good friends
for them, you know, all that.
00:09:34.27\00:09:37.47
I've a question,
I'm sorry, Arthur.
00:09:37.51\00:09:39.91
Have you and pastor
ever had an argument?
00:09:39.94\00:09:42.34
Ah, which couple
doesn't have arguments?
00:09:42.38\00:09:45.48
Ah, I tell people all the time.
00:09:45.51\00:09:47.15
The first couple
00:09:47.18\00:09:50.29
or the only
couple I have ever known
00:09:50.32\00:09:52.22
of that has been
perfect is Adam and Eve,
00:09:52.25\00:09:55.66
and they didn't
last for long interval.
00:09:55.69\00:09:57.59
That was good, you
just said it yesterday,
00:09:57.63\00:09:59.16
I like that.
00:09:59.19\00:10:00.63
We have this, I
say disagreement.
00:10:00.66\00:10:02.10
Disagreement? Okay, you know.
00:10:02.13\00:10:04.47
So you do hear her
voice, you hear her?
00:10:04.50\00:10:07.17
Of course. Okay.
00:10:07.20\00:10:08.54
How important is that to you
00:10:08.57\00:10:09.90
being a stomp like man
and then the be a pastor?
00:10:09.94\00:10:12.44
Yeah. Yeah.
00:10:12.47\00:10:15.08
Oh, everybody has a
right to their own voice
00:10:15.11\00:10:17.98
and their own opinion,
00:10:18.01\00:10:19.48
and it's important
to express yourself,
00:10:19.51\00:10:23.22
and sometimes,
ego gets in the way,
00:10:23.25\00:10:26.69
and we feel like, you know,
00:10:26.72\00:10:28.66
I think my idea
should be supreme,
00:10:28.69\00:10:31.96
but that can cause
an argument of course,
00:10:31.99\00:10:34.63
but then you've got
to step back and say,
00:10:34.66\00:10:36.40
"Well, you know,
there are two of us here
00:10:36.43\00:10:37.77
and we have to
listen to the other person
00:10:37.80\00:10:40.60
and strike a compromise
somewhere in the middle."
00:10:40.64\00:10:43.10
I like that word compromise.
00:10:43.14\00:10:45.04
Why do you look at me?
00:10:45.07\00:10:46.41
Oh, I was just looking.
00:10:46.44\00:10:47.94
I wasn't going to get started.
00:10:47.98\00:10:49.31
I promise, you know, pastor?
00:10:49.34\00:10:50.95
You know, it's something,
you know, you live together,
00:10:50.98\00:10:53.25
you work
together, you love together,
00:10:53.28\00:10:54.62
raise children
together, you drive together,
00:10:54.65\00:10:56.48
go to church together.
00:10:56.52\00:10:57.85
We go crazy together.
00:10:57.89\00:10:59.79
That's right, you know,
but keeping it transparent.
00:10:59.82\00:11:02.76
Exactly.
00:11:02.79\00:11:04.13
Go ahead, I'll hold
it. Can I ask my question?
00:11:04.16\00:11:05.66
You can ask your
question, I hold my thought.
00:11:05.69\00:11:07.33
Thank you very much. I'll try.
00:11:07.36\00:11:08.70
I want to go back to something
in what you said, Lisa?
00:11:08.73\00:11:12.70
You had to give up your job.
00:11:12.73\00:11:15.20
You know, to me,
that's a major transition,
00:11:15.24\00:11:18.87
you know,
especially, we're talking about
00:11:18.91\00:11:21.28
two incomes coming in
to the household, you know.
00:11:21.31\00:11:24.18
So, in the Toronto area now,
are you working or not working?
00:11:24.21\00:11:28.88
Actually, no, I'm not.
00:11:28.92\00:11:30.25
Okay, so I'm still in
that still transition.
00:11:30.29\00:11:32.45
I'm still
transitioning into Toronto area.
00:11:32.49\00:11:35.56
Yeah, so that must be
rough, as far as a first-family,
00:11:35.59\00:11:39.66
pastor of the
church, and stuff like that.
00:11:39.69\00:11:41.96
Making adjustments where
you're bringing in two incomes,
00:11:42.00\00:11:45.67
and then all of a sudden,
half of your income is gone?
00:11:45.70\00:11:49.70
But I remember the God
who was there yester year
00:11:49.74\00:11:53.88
and he's gonna be the
God of today and tomorrow,
00:11:53.91\00:11:56.64
so he'll
provide, he always does.
00:11:56.68\00:11:58.55
Excellent,
excellent, that's great.
00:11:58.58\00:12:01.22
How is that you're
able to enjoy one another?
00:12:01.25\00:12:05.49
How do you enjoy one another?
00:12:05.52\00:12:07.12
You know, I like
that needy, quitty.
00:12:07.16\00:12:08.89
You know, how do you guys enjoy,
00:12:08.92\00:12:10.56
like you just, look at
it, she's holding your arms.
00:12:10.59\00:12:12.99
Yeah. I thought
you go hold my arm?
00:12:13.03\00:12:15.26
After the show, not program.
00:12:15.30\00:12:20.14
You see, it just like, you know,
00:12:20.17\00:12:21.50
you're not sitting on
separate sides of couch,
00:12:21.54\00:12:23.67
you know, it's not like
00:12:23.71\00:12:26.71
in between here is real?
00:12:26.74\00:12:28.88
How do you do this?
00:12:28.91\00:12:30.61
How do you make it work?
00:12:30.65\00:12:32.71
Oh, Dr. Kim, I pledged
00:12:32.75\00:12:35.48
and I promised to love her
till the death to the spark and.
00:12:35.52\00:12:40.36
I pledged that.
00:12:40.39\00:12:42.99
I just, did it
just hit as sincerity?
00:12:43.02\00:12:46.46
Yeah. It got her excited.
00:12:46.49\00:12:47.96
They did know. You pledge what?
00:12:48.00\00:12:50.47
I pledged what he pledged.
00:12:50.50\00:12:54.30
Okay.
00:12:54.34\00:12:56.07
I remember the
day I went to her dad
00:12:56.10\00:12:58.64
and I asked her
father, you know,
00:12:58.67\00:13:00.44
"May I have your
daughter's hand in marriage?"
00:13:00.48\00:13:03.35
And I pledged to him that,
00:13:03.38\00:13:05.05
I would do my best,
to make sure she's okay
00:13:05.08\00:13:08.18
and so I'm keeping my promise.
00:13:08.22\00:13:11.05
Did you?
00:13:11.09\00:13:13.79
That's a good point.
00:13:13.82\00:13:15.16
Now did you see a difference
like maybe in your generation
00:13:15.19\00:13:18.56
and the generation
coming up as far as
00:13:18.59\00:13:22.56
feeling obligated to
maintain those relationships
00:13:22.60\00:13:26.07
and working really hard
00:13:26.10\00:13:28.27
and eliminating any difficulties
00:13:28.30\00:13:31.04
that may exist within
the family and the household?
00:13:31.07\00:13:34.28
Yeah.
00:13:34.31\00:13:35.74
We're living in an instant,
00:13:35.78\00:13:38.98
get-it-instantly
generation and people, who are,
00:13:39.01\00:13:43.45
people who generally
don't want to work for anything,
00:13:43.49\00:13:45.69
work hard for anything,
00:13:45.72\00:13:47.89
and the thing about
relationship is that
00:13:47.92\00:13:49.62
you've got to put work in.
00:13:49.66\00:13:52.23
I believe in the
principle of sowing and reaping.
00:13:52.26\00:13:55.86
If you don't sow, you
won't reap, and so for me,
00:13:55.90\00:13:59.43
I believe that it's
important to put energy
00:13:59.47\00:14:02.97
and work and the intention
00:14:03.00\00:14:04.34
about getting your
relationship going.
00:14:04.37\00:14:06.81
A lot of people today,
00:14:06.84\00:14:08.18
as soon as there is the problem,
00:14:08.21\00:14:09.54
they want to quit,
00:14:09.58\00:14:10.91
and you can't do
that to a relationship.
00:14:10.95\00:14:14.12
Arthur would
always say divorce is easy
00:14:14.15\00:14:16.72
and marriage takes work.
00:14:16.75\00:14:18.15
I want to go back to that
00:14:18.19\00:14:19.52
ego word in our
book added to adjustment,
00:14:19.55\00:14:21.22
the Lord gave me
something many years ago.
00:14:21.26\00:14:23.63
Ego, E-G-O, the negative
aspect of it is Edging God Out,
00:14:23.66\00:14:29.20
but the positive
aspect is Enhancing God Only.
00:14:29.23\00:14:32.53
Amazing, I love that.
You can use that phrase.
00:14:32.57\00:14:34.60
I'll let you
use that, all right,
00:14:34.64\00:14:36.91
but we have to
take that and flip it
00:14:36.94\00:14:39.34
to enhance Him, too,
so that He can empower us.
00:14:39.37\00:14:42.64
How are you
empowered, Lisa, by this man?
00:14:42.68\00:14:45.61
How does he empower you?
00:14:45.65\00:14:47.52
Well, I'm amazed at
what he speaks and yeah,
00:14:47.55\00:14:53.49
he's so intellectual,
00:14:53.52\00:14:55.62
and I like the
idea that he dreams big,
00:14:55.66\00:14:59.83
and I'm just
there to encourage him,
00:14:59.86\00:15:04.53
and I'm being empowered
by him, by what he does.
00:15:04.57\00:15:10.91
And loving him at the same time.
00:15:10.94\00:15:13.41
How do you have fun together?
00:15:13.44\00:15:14.78
What you'll do
at your meet time?
00:15:14.81\00:15:16.18
What do you do? Do
you have a date night?
00:15:16.21\00:15:17.98
Well, we try for that.
00:15:18.01\00:15:20.45
Yeah, yeah.
00:15:20.48\00:15:21.82
He has one schedule
in his diary every week
00:15:21.85\00:15:24.95
for Thursday nights.
00:15:24.99\00:15:26.39
Yeah. That's nice.
00:15:26.42\00:15:27.76
Sometimes, things get in to
way and then we have to address,
00:15:27.79\00:15:30.76
but sometimes, we just
take a drive down the road
00:15:30.79\00:15:33.36
or point to just go
have a cup of tea together
00:15:33.40\00:15:36.06
or something like
that, or chocolate.
00:15:36.10\00:15:39.33
A cup of tea, did
you see the cup of tea?
00:15:39.37\00:15:41.80
The last time when
you made me a cup of tea?
00:15:41.84\00:15:43.17
I don't
understand certain things.
00:15:43.20\00:15:44.94
Did you made me a
cup of tea this morning?
00:15:44.97\00:15:46.31
Certain things come up
00:15:46.34\00:15:47.68
and you'd look at me
like I don't do those things.
00:15:47.71\00:15:49.54
You do those,
but let me just say,
00:15:49.58\00:15:51.08
I made you toast this morning.
00:15:51.11\00:15:52.48
I made him toast. Nice.
00:15:52.51\00:15:54.02
But he didn't want my
toast. He was full, probably.
00:15:54.05\00:15:56.25
No, he didn't let me eat, yet.
00:15:56.28\00:15:58.05
He said "No, I
don't want eat toast."
00:15:58.09\00:15:59.82
So I said "Okay,
I eat both pieces."
00:15:59.85\00:16:01.66
Okay. It kept moving.
00:16:01.69\00:16:03.63
It might have been
a little selfish in me
00:16:03.66\00:16:05.13
but I was looking for breakfast.
00:16:05.16\00:16:08.80
Yeah, yeah, right.
00:16:08.83\00:16:10.37
He wanted everything.
00:16:10.40\00:16:11.73
It's something
better than nothing,
00:16:11.77\00:16:13.60
pastor, you know.
00:16:13.64\00:16:14.97
I think so, I
won't get involved.
00:16:15.00\00:16:16.34
You said, you don't end up
at these and stand out of this.
00:16:16.37\00:16:19.07
But this is the time
when we need your help.
00:16:19.11\00:16:20.94
Yes, yeah.
00:16:20.98\00:16:23.61
You've got to pay me first.
00:16:23.65\00:16:24.98
Yeah.
00:16:25.01\00:16:26.88
Oh, my God.
00:16:26.92\00:16:28.25
You know, do you take
in seriously, you go ahead.
00:16:28.28\00:16:30.79
You know, but--
00:16:30.82\00:16:33.76
You know, your
church, recognizing who you're
00:16:33.79\00:16:38.93
and the type of individual
you're, do they come to you
00:16:38.96\00:16:44.50
and ask you for direction?
00:16:44.53\00:16:47.27
And, you know, are
they willing to share,
00:16:47.30\00:16:50.97
what's going in
their families with you?
00:16:51.01\00:16:53.58
Oh, definitely, yes,
00:16:53.61\00:16:55.68
members of my congregation,
00:16:55.71\00:16:58.91
they know that
I'm there for them,
00:16:58.95\00:17:00.78
and anything that has to
do with relationship issues,
00:17:00.82\00:17:04.62
they will share that with me
00:17:04.65\00:17:07.42
and if I reach a place though
where I realize that ethically,
00:17:07.46\00:17:12.43
I cannot provide that
kind of a help for them
00:17:12.46\00:17:15.70
based on my other registrations
00:17:15.73\00:17:19.87
and the ethics
around my profession
00:17:19.90\00:17:23.10
as a relationship expert,
00:17:23.14\00:17:25.34
then I would have to
refer him to somebody else,
00:17:25.37\00:17:27.18
but yeah, I do my best to
ensure that I speak with needs,
00:17:27.21\00:17:31.55
the relationship needs,
00:17:31.58\00:17:32.91
and all those
other mental aspects
00:17:32.95\00:17:34.45
that they're grappling with.
00:17:34.48\00:17:36.02
Do you see more and more
people willing to participate
00:17:36.05\00:17:42.16
and that type of venue
00:17:42.19\00:17:44.66
where they're
looking for some assistance
00:17:44.69\00:17:46.86
and they're willing to share
00:17:46.90\00:17:48.23
what's going on
within their home?
00:17:48.26\00:17:50.00
Oh, sure, definitely.
00:17:50.03\00:17:52.63
If people realize
that you care about them
00:17:52.67\00:17:57.04
and that the, you're somebody
who will hold on to their
00:17:57.07\00:18:01.54
in terms of confidentiality,
practice is a professional,
00:18:01.58\00:18:05.18
they will share with you.
00:18:05.21\00:18:06.55
They'll come to me
and they'll talk to me
00:18:06.58\00:18:08.35
because they know that
that I'm not gonna diverge
00:18:08.38\00:18:11.05
those information and
so, I've seen a lot of that
00:18:11.09\00:18:14.52
people are coming
forward and seeking help.
00:18:14.56\00:18:18.06
You know this relationship
has really taking a full turn.
00:18:18.09\00:18:21.03
They see you and the
children were not there.
00:18:21.06\00:18:23.13
You always told not allow
when we came to for a wedding,
00:18:23.16\00:18:26.70
and they took us
to meet the pastor
00:18:26.74\00:18:29.94
and he preached and
we were so impressed,
00:18:29.97\00:18:32.71
and he's the
intellectual aspect,
00:18:32.74\00:18:34.91
but also we felt
the humility of him
00:18:34.94\00:18:38.61
and the way he was
able to tie things together.
00:18:38.65\00:18:41.72
I love the way again,
00:18:41.75\00:18:43.08
how you were able to
take Nehemiah yesterday
00:18:43.12\00:18:46.45
and rebuilding because
that's what we couldn't do it.
00:18:46.49\00:18:49.09
As we couldn't, we
didn't know what he was doing,
00:18:49.12\00:18:51.33
God sent Nehemiah,
00:18:51.36\00:18:53.06
Nehemiah got
permission for the kings,
00:18:53.09\00:18:55.06
he got last question
education, I know there's stuff,
00:18:55.10\00:18:57.47
all right, and so,
00:18:57.50\00:18:58.83
then you're able
to tie it in to that
00:18:58.87\00:19:01.37
no matter what we been through.
00:19:01.40\00:19:03.17
And you talked
about abuse, sexual abuse,
00:19:03.20\00:19:05.54
you talked about
marriages, divorce,
00:19:05.57\00:19:07.51
don't let anyone keep you there.
00:19:07.54\00:19:10.35
You know, is that how
do you it every Sabbath?
00:19:10.38\00:19:13.11
When you're in the
poppet, no matter where you're.
00:19:13.15\00:19:14.75
Every opportunity I get
because I do believe him
00:19:14.78\00:19:17.35
driven by the belief that
there is greatness within in us
00:19:17.39\00:19:20.06
irrespective of where
we are or where we from,
00:19:20.09\00:19:22.66
we have on tact potential.
00:19:22.69\00:19:24.03
On tact?
00:19:24.06\00:19:25.39
Yeah, and if you could, if
you could just help somebody
00:19:25.43\00:19:27.33
and get in there
and let him know that,
00:19:27.36\00:19:29.40
"Listen, you can do
it, believe in yourself,
00:19:29.43\00:19:32.87
don't let your past define you,
00:19:32.90\00:19:34.57
let it teach
you, you can make it."
00:19:34.60\00:19:35.94
I like that.
00:19:35.97\00:19:37.31
And so we are
powering ourselves.
00:19:37.34\00:19:38.67
Yeah, let's go on, there is
a motivational speaker here.
00:19:41.74\00:19:44.05
I can do all of this.
00:19:44.08\00:19:45.41
Yeah, it's required, isn't that?
00:19:45.45\00:19:46.98
My dad used to say to
me when was little girl,
00:19:47.02\00:19:49.12
"You have potential
that can be potentiated.
00:19:49.15\00:19:53.29
Don't' mess with them,
mess with the younger,"
00:19:53.32\00:19:55.16
that's he tried and he said.
00:19:55.19\00:19:56.52
Yeah, I'm talking though.
00:19:56.56\00:19:58.56
As though there's so much, yeah.
00:19:58.59\00:20:00.83
You too, you too.
00:20:00.86\00:20:02.20
You, think I
have great potential?
00:20:02.23\00:20:03.57
Oh, it's past great.
00:20:03.60\00:20:04.93
What's my potential?
00:20:04.97\00:20:06.30
It's amazing.
00:20:06.33\00:20:07.67
I can't express it, right now.
00:20:07.70\00:20:09.04
You can point
anything, understanding, love,
00:20:09.07\00:20:10.41
I'm a great cook.
00:20:10.44\00:20:11.77
Pastor, can you
cook? Of course, I can.
00:20:11.81\00:20:13.14
Can he cook? Oh,
yes, yes, he can.
00:20:13.17\00:20:14.51
Oh, he makes a
great curry chicken.
00:20:14.54\00:20:15.88
Really.
00:20:15.91\00:20:17.65
We haven't been able to cook.
00:20:17.68\00:20:19.41
Honey, you cook
great, that's not a meal.
00:20:19.45\00:20:22.05
Spaghetti? Spaghetti.
00:20:22.08\00:20:23.85
Chilli. Out of the can. Rice.
00:20:23.89\00:20:26.45
Okay, that's going to the bake.
00:20:26.49\00:20:28.52
If it's heated up and I
can eat it, that's good.
00:20:28.56\00:20:31.43
Microwave. Microwave.
00:20:31.46\00:20:33.36
Well, he'll come in and
if I ask him help me here,
00:20:33.40\00:20:35.73
freezer full of food,
refrigerator full of food.
00:20:35.76\00:20:38.37
We don't want to go up there.
00:20:38.40\00:20:39.73
He will open up
the refrigerator,
00:20:39.77\00:20:41.77
10 times and he'll say,
"There's nothing to eat."
00:20:41.80\00:20:46.27
And then I'll
walk through the door,
00:20:46.31\00:20:47.68
put one of those
15-minute meals together,
00:20:47.71\00:20:50.15
he's like wow and I take it too,
00:20:50.18\00:20:52.91
after working all day.
00:20:52.95\00:20:54.28
Wow, isn't that something?
00:20:54.32\00:20:55.65
Wow, isn't that
love? That's love.
00:20:55.68\00:20:57.12
That's something.
00:20:57.15\00:21:00.62
Lots of love in that meal.
00:21:00.66\00:21:01.99
I'm telling you,
that feels so bad.
00:21:02.02\00:21:04.36
You know, the other night,
I worked really, really, late.
00:21:04.39\00:21:07.66
I cooked at 1 am in the
morning to have the dinner ready
00:21:07.70\00:21:10.90
the next day 'cause I
know I wouldn't be leaving
00:21:10.93\00:21:12.87
the office by 9'o clock.
00:21:12.90\00:21:14.24
Right. So dinner
was already there.
00:21:14.27\00:21:16.10
Amazing wife, you're.
00:21:16.14\00:21:17.47
Thank you. Yeah.
00:21:17.51\00:21:18.84
You know. You
didn't come down stairs.
00:21:18.87\00:21:21.14
No, but I want
some motivational for.
00:21:21.18\00:21:23.14
For cooking the meals at
1'o clock in the morning.
00:21:23.18\00:21:25.78
Absolutely.
00:21:25.81\00:21:27.15
Where? How? I
was motivating you.
00:21:27.18\00:21:29.15
Well he'll do
the dishes very well.
00:21:29.18\00:21:31.65
You do dishes? Of
course, I do dishes.
00:21:31.69\00:21:33.19
Not dishwater, but dishes.
00:21:33.22\00:21:35.59
He does dishes. I do everything.
00:21:35.62\00:21:37.83
Okay, I got a
question for you, pastor.
00:21:37.86\00:21:40.03
The pitcher has
just this much lemonade.
00:21:40.06\00:21:42.90
We don't, we
don't have time to...
00:21:42.93\00:21:44.83
We got to go there.
00:21:44.87\00:21:46.20
You know, I got to ask
this question real quick.
00:21:46.23\00:21:47.74
The pitcher has just this
much lemonade in it, all right,
00:21:47.77\00:21:50.31
and do you drink it?
00:21:50.34\00:21:51.87
Do you wash the pitcher out
00:21:51.91\00:21:53.44
or do you sit in
the refrigerator?
00:21:53.48\00:21:55.11
What do you do? It all depends.
00:21:55.14\00:21:56.61
On what? Most
times, I'll wash it out.
00:21:56.64\00:21:59.01
You drink it and wash it out?
00:21:59.05\00:22:00.38
Yeah, mostly.
00:22:00.42\00:22:01.75
You don't leave the sugar or...
00:22:01.78\00:22:03.12
Oh, no, no, I wash it.
00:22:03.15\00:22:04.49
Did you hear what he said? Most.
00:22:04.52\00:22:05.85
It is significant.
00:22:05.89\00:22:07.29
For what? And
you keep missing it.
00:22:07.32\00:22:09.02
Well, what was it, dear?
It depends on his feelings,
00:22:09.06\00:22:12.49
from where he is.
00:22:12.53\00:22:14.73
Eliminate the path,
that was your feeling?
00:22:14.76\00:22:17.77
I'm not getting involved.
00:22:17.80\00:22:20.67
Listen, we got 30
minutes into this show
00:22:20.70\00:22:23.07
and went through the program,
00:22:23.10\00:22:24.44
and we just want
to thank you both,
00:22:24.47\00:22:25.81
closing words to our couples
who're watching it today.
00:22:25.84\00:22:28.64
How you made it work?
00:22:28.68\00:22:30.01
Encourage them, both of you.
00:22:30.05\00:22:31.38
Lisa, start with you.
00:22:31.41\00:22:33.48
I think it is a challenge,
00:22:33.52\00:22:35.05
just speak it out
with your husband.
00:22:35.08\00:22:38.45
Communication is key. Okay.
00:22:38.49\00:22:40.36
And not just hard work,
you just keep working at it.
00:22:40.39\00:22:45.46
Love the person that you've got
married to everyday for life.
00:22:45.49\00:22:49.30
Amen. Pastor.
00:22:49.33\00:22:51.03
Go back from the beginning,
00:22:51.07\00:22:53.23
think about all
those lovely moments
00:22:53.27\00:22:55.37
you had when you
just got started.
00:22:55.40\00:22:57.64
And try to relive that
experience every single day,
00:22:57.67\00:23:01.44
and in addition to that,
I would say, remember this,
00:23:01.48\00:23:04.51
every single human
being needs to feel,
00:23:04.55\00:23:07.48
seen, heard, and understood.
00:23:07.52\00:23:10.09
Thank you both so much.
00:23:10.12\00:23:11.45
Dr. Floyd and Mrs.
Spence, God bless you.
00:23:11.49\00:23:14.26
My pleasure, thanks, thank you.
00:23:14.29\00:23:16.56
Thank you, thank you.
00:23:16.59\00:23:18.46
Thank you Arthur.
00:23:18.49\00:23:19.83
Arthur, Pastor
Spence and his wife,
00:23:25.73\00:23:27.54
what a thought
provoking interview,
00:23:27.57\00:23:30.11
give us some feedback.
00:23:30.14\00:23:31.47
Well, basically, I
like his sensitivity,
00:23:31.51\00:23:33.94
his relationship with his family
00:23:33.98\00:23:35.58
that stands out.
00:23:35.61\00:23:37.15
I like his
enthusiasm and his motivation.
00:23:37.18\00:23:40.18
So, you know, I was
really blast by them
00:23:40.22\00:23:42.85
the whole interview.
00:23:42.88\00:23:44.22
Oh, you know,
when you talk about
00:23:44.25\00:23:45.59
the balancing the relationships,
00:23:45.62\00:23:46.96
what some of the
things we need to do,
00:23:46.99\00:23:48.32
especially, people
with very busy schedules
00:23:48.36\00:23:50.13
who have very, very
committed relationships?
00:23:50.16\00:23:53.70
I think, what's
really important is that
00:23:53.73\00:23:55.93
you have good
communication skills
00:23:55.96\00:23:58.77
with your support system.
00:23:58.80\00:24:00.57
You know, you won't have any
00:24:00.60\00:24:03.10
opportunity to really
balance the relationship
00:24:03.14\00:24:05.94
unless your support
is sound and in place.
00:24:05.97\00:24:08.84
I like that and also when
you talked about his motivation,
00:24:08.88\00:24:12.41
he's empowered by his motivation
00:24:12.45\00:24:14.12
and that also
pours into his family.
00:24:14.15\00:24:16.58
What did you see
in their relationship
00:24:16.62\00:24:17.95
with he and his family?
00:24:17.99\00:24:19.49
I saw the love that
exists between his wife and him
00:24:19.52\00:24:24.69
and the children and so how,
00:24:24.73\00:24:27.63
his children
were very respectful.
00:24:27.66\00:24:30.07
It wasn't like they
were intimidated or anything,
00:24:30.10\00:24:33.10
they were just
respectful, you know,
00:24:33.13\00:24:35.04
when he asked him to sit
down, they just got quite
00:24:35.07\00:24:38.44
and sat down, I mean
that's very important.
00:24:38.47\00:24:42.68
You know when you
think about the relationships
00:24:42.71\00:24:45.28
that we have with Jesus Christ,
00:24:45.31\00:24:47.12
how do you see Pastor Spence
and his relation with Christ?
00:24:47.15\00:24:50.82
You know, I see his
relationship with Christ
00:24:50.85\00:24:54.16
has been everything to him.
00:24:54.19\00:24:56.02
It's his motivation
and even talking to him
00:24:56.06\00:24:58.79
before we went on air, he
was enthusiastic, you know,
00:24:58.83\00:25:05.00
about his relationship with God,
00:25:05.03\00:25:06.63
and how he felt the
God was really important
00:25:06.67\00:25:10.71
and directed his path.
00:25:10.74\00:25:12.17
It was so amazing he
preached that morning,
00:25:12.21\00:25:15.48
that afternoon, he
did our AY program,
00:25:15.51\00:25:18.11
Adventist Youth
program or evening program
00:25:18.15\00:25:21.68
for the Sabbath
close of the Sabbath.
00:25:21.72\00:25:23.75
Then came on Dare to Dream
to do Making it Work, amazing.
00:25:23.79\00:25:28.99
So again balancing
that whole situation.
00:25:29.02\00:25:31.59
See the Bible says
and I love the scripture,
00:25:31.63\00:25:33.93
2 Timothy 1:7
00:25:33.96\00:25:36.20
"For God has not
give us spirit of fear,
00:25:36.23\00:25:39.40
no fear, but of love,
power, and a sound mind."
00:25:39.43\00:25:44.07
And that comes God,
reading the word of God,
00:25:44.11\00:25:46.37
standing on His word
and allowing His word
00:25:46.41\00:25:48.64
to manifest through
you, and that's what I saw
00:25:48.68\00:25:51.28
through Pastor
Spence, I saw that, you know,
00:25:51.31\00:25:54.28
he's a happy man too.
00:25:54.32\00:25:56.32
I think, he's
comfortable with who he is.
00:25:56.35\00:25:59.85
Oh, that's important?
00:25:59.89\00:26:01.22
Why is that important?
00:26:01.26\00:26:02.59
Because it really is like
enthusiasm, it's motivation,
00:26:02.62\00:26:07.10
knowing who you're,
knowing your limitations,
00:26:07.13\00:26:09.16
and knowing what you like to do,
00:26:09.20\00:26:11.87
and you using them in
every aspect you know.
00:26:11.90\00:26:15.20
A banker who is a good banker,
00:26:15.24\00:26:18.24
he recognizes that,
it really encourages him
00:26:18.27\00:26:21.98
to be the best that he can be.
00:26:22.01\00:26:23.45
When he's greeting people,
00:26:23.48\00:26:24.81
when he's talking to
his customers, all that--
00:26:24.85\00:26:26.92
Confidence.
Confidence. Commitment.
00:26:26.95\00:26:28.78
Commitment,
support, love, you know,
00:26:28.82\00:26:32.12
learning how to love and
being able to utilize that,
00:26:32.15\00:26:36.16
and being able to give
the space necessary to grow,
00:26:36.19\00:26:39.06
you got to be
willing to do that.
00:26:39.09\00:26:41.30
And recognizing
what's important to you?
00:26:41.33\00:26:44.93
The areas that's
important to you,
00:26:44.97\00:26:47.04
I mean, there is things
that he had to understand
00:26:47.07\00:26:51.04
that would stand out
more than anything else,
00:26:51.07\00:26:53.38
his
relationship with his family.
00:26:53.41\00:26:55.01
Oh, yes.
00:26:55.04\00:26:56.38
Is very important and he shows
in everything that he does.
00:26:56.41\00:26:59.95
I believe he has
the biblical order God,
00:26:59.98\00:27:03.35
his wife, his
family, his ministry,
00:27:03.39\00:27:06.65
I believe that you know.
00:27:06.69\00:27:08.32
And you have to have
things in biblical order for God
00:27:08.36\00:27:11.09
to able to allow those to grow
00:27:11.13\00:27:14.13
and allow them to be used by him
00:27:14.16\00:27:16.36
and see, you have to understand
that God wants to use you,
00:27:16.40\00:27:20.20
God wants to use all of
us for his kingdom building.
00:27:20.24\00:27:24.34
Well, I thank the
Lord for this Spence family
00:27:24.37\00:27:26.51
and I thank the
Lord for allowing us
00:27:26.54\00:27:28.44
to have another broadcast
with you on Making it Work.
00:27:28.48\00:27:31.61
I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
00:27:31.65\00:27:33.31
I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:27:33.35\00:27:34.72
And God bless.
00:27:34.75\00:27:36.08