Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
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I'm Arthur Nowlin.
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And welcome, to making it work.
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Arthur, connected by love.
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I always feel connected to you.
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But do I ever smother
you, or you need your space?
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Well, sometimes you do, Kim,
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but it's okay,
I've gotten used to it.
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Wait, wait, wait,
how do I smother you?
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Yeah, you know.
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There's this thing
you, the honey do list.
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Okay. Okay, honey do list.
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And sometimes it
could be a little bit.
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It could be a little bit long.
It could be a little bit long.
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I mean especially after coming
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from a rough day
on a golf course.
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Oh, yes.
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Okay, so that honey do
list gets longer and longer
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because you did 18 hours.
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Now, can you imagine?
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Now, I'm talking
connected by love.
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Can you imagine?
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Nine holes on the golf course.
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Then it turns to
18, then it's 27?
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Well, Kim.
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They only do is 27 is
a rarity, 18 is standard.
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Oh, really?
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But you should understand that,
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I mean you've been
with me long enough to know
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that I'm going to do 18.
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That's true and I didn't know.
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So, why do you
pile on extra stuff?
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On my honey do list? Yes.
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'Cause I'm connected by love.
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I just need to make sure
that those things get done
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and it makes me feel
good when we do them together.
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And I understand.
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I guess that's why I
try to extend myself to you
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to show that I'm
connected by love as well.
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Connected.
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Well, what's some of the things
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that helps couple
to stay connected?
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Doing things together, you know.
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You know, I think
it's really important
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when couples do
find equal medium
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and they enjoy
being with each other.
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Okay, almost
like a happy medium.
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Yeah. All right.
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So looking at the
importance of prayer,
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praying together.
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Man, that's, that's
always added pleasure.
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You know, to be able
to pray with each other.
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You can get, you can
even get excited about it.
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Oh, definitely.
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And what about studying
the word of God together.
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That also.
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You know, the Bible says,
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"Study to show thy self approve,
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a workman that
need not be ashamed
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rightly dividing
the word of truth."
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Well, we are going to
talk to two lovely people.
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And we want to
welcome Darryl and Heather,
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connected by love.
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And today's society is
so hard to stay connected.
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But we know that
Darryl and Heather
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have stayed connected
in their marriage by love.
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Darryl and Heather Dixon,
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it's so good to
have you back here.
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Thanks for having us. Thank you.
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Let's talk about relationship.
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Let's talk about
your relationship,
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committed to love.
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Since the last time we saw you,
you were engaged to be married.
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You are blended family.
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Some new things have happened.
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Tell us about what's
going on in the Dixon family?
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Well, we, we have a
new addition to the family.
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My youngest
daughter, her name is Maven.
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And so, since she has been here,
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a lot of things
have changed and--
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But I would say that
it's been, it's getting better
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and it's been better
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just having, you
know, those changes.
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Okay, let's back up a minute.
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You got married.
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When did you get married?
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We got married
November 11, 2011.
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And 2011, and the baby was born.
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Yeah.
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And then now,
what is different now?
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You've been in the household
versus when you were engaged.
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You're there now every day,
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you know, raising two children,
married, responsibilities.
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What is different now?
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I don't think
there's a big difference
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in relation, relational wise
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but what is
different is time management,
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and having, having a
new addition to the family.
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The time, we have to
use our time more wisely.
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And it's not a whole lot
of it, because she consumes
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a lot of my time
and Heather's time, so.
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When we talk
about connected to love,
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or connected by love, Heather.
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How are you now
more connected to Darryl,
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now that you're married to him?
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Well, I feel like Darryl and I
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have been to the
battlefield and back.
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In the first four
months of our marriage,
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both of us ended
up in the hospital
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and he was diagnosed
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with a major life
threatening illness
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and I think that
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probably brought us
closer very quickly.
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It's, it was a huge adjustment.
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You know, and you know a
lot of people are saying,
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"Oh you know, why
are you staying with him,
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you know, there
is too much too soon,
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it's too much too soon.
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But like I said, you
know, it was like a battlefield
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and going to war
together and coming out alive,
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you know, really
brought us closer.
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One of the things
that I was thinking about
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especially when you
were talking, you said,
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"It was getting better."
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You know, can you
give me some insight.
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What exactly did you
mean it was getting better?
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Well, I think with
what Heather is saying
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when, when we first--
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a lot of the
problems that happened
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in the earlier
stages of our relationship,
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we didn't anticipate.
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And so, after we got married
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and you know, these
things started happening.
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It begin to affect,
you know, the relationship
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and probably, probably
more than, than we knew.
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You know, but
we're just living life
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and trying to
make everything work.
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But psychologically,
there's things that's happening
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that I'm dealing with,
that she's not always aware of
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and vice versa
with her, you know.
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And, you know, not even
just in our relationship,
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but she deals with a
lot of stuff at work too
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that I don't, that she
doesn't always talk about.
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I'm out there with things also.
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And I think it all, it
all gets mixed in there.
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And then you throw a
baby in on top of that.
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And, you know, now we
have to be concerned about
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her needs, you know,
she gets sick, she's angry.
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And at the same time,
see I'm used to having time
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to do what I need to do
and a lot of stuff that I do,
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I make a lot of phone calls
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and do a lot of
stuff in my free time.
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Well, that free
time is no longer there.
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And so, for me
emotionally it's kind of hard
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because I feel like,
okay, I'm being thrown
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into the position of being
sort of like the house mom.
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Whereas before,
I'm making phone calls
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and I'm doing stuff, you know.
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But it's been, it's been
tough but the thing that I,
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that I would say is that...
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I'm not complaining about
that, you know, and I'm not,
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I'm not dishearted to
say that, this is too hard,
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I don't want to do
this, I want a way out.
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I know that God perfects
everything in due season.
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And so, we just you know,
some things you have to tough,
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you know make it
rough and tough through it
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and just keep going.
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But it sounds like
it's like weighing on you.
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You know, just
in the conversation
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the way you express yourself.
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Well, that's life.
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You know, so let me ask you.
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He's talking about
stress and eustress.
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You know, eustress is a
positive stressful thing,
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like we bought a house.
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We had a baby.
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Those are positive things,
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you know, new
additions to our life.
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But it comes
with stress on its own
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and there's an
adjustment period.
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So, what are some
of those challenges
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did that you're facing today.
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We're talking about
things getting better.
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So, what's going on today,
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you know, besides
just a baby for both.
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Well, I've been dealing
with a lot of stuff concerning,
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what's really
been weighing on me
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is a lot of stuff
dealing with my music.
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And, and just today
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I just got affiliated with,
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with HFA which
is Harry Fox Agency.
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You can't get paid for writers
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unless you have a
publishing company.
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And out of all the
years that I've been writing,
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I never signed
a publishing deal.
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So, from 2004 until
now, all of that publishing
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that I've wrote
before it all those years
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has to sit in collections,
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so I've been talking to
record companies in China
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and, but the record companies
don't really have any answers
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because record companies
only, they pay publishers.
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But you still have to
have a publishing place,
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so I went out and started
my own publishing company.
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So that I could get
connected to Harry Fox
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and now, all of that
publishing can come back to me.
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So, how as and Heather,
you've been a therapist.
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How do you step
outside of that domain
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and be able to
support each other.
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How do you will
communicate about the stresses,
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about the overall in
and out of the relationship?
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How do you communicate?
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How do you do that?
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Several times a
day, I pray. Yes.
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About how to
address certain things.
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Darryl's brother died last year.
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His oldest daughter had a baby.
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And I know that,
he's going through a lot.
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And he is, he's my nanny,
he stays at home with the baby.
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So, I can keep working.
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You know, and I know that
he has a lot of responsibility.
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So, I really focus on trying
to be sensitive to his needs
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and understanding where
he is on a day to day basis
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so I can kind of
pick up on his tone.
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You know, eye contact, if
he goes into his man cave.
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And he's got a
music room downstairs,
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so if he is in the music room
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and the amp is
on ten or whatever
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and he's, he's
rocking out to his guitar
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then I know this, I'm
going to give him his time.
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It's important to
recognize the signs.
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You know, he's got subtle
signs he might not even know,
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you know.
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Now, it's a good time to
talk about certain things
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and now, is you know,
let's put it on home time.
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Picking your battles, knowing
when to pick those battles.
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Yes.
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You know, how does God plays
a role in your relationship,
00:11:21.51\00:11:24.31
you know, this overall impact
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of spirituality in
your lives together?
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I would say work
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and I'll just
mention this to my wife
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yesterday I
believe that I realize
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the value of staying
connected to God in prayer
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and just be insensitive
and aware of his presence.
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And when I do that personally
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it, it,
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he, he controls
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my outlook on things.
00:12:01.78\00:12:04.25
And is, is it's
kind of hard to explain
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but I'm more patient
and I'm more sensitive,
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when I'm close to him.
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Oh, yes.
00:12:12.29\00:12:13.63
And, it affects
the way I treat her,
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and I actually
took notice of that.
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You know, and God is,
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He is the center of everything
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and especially, you
know, in our relationship,
00:12:24.37\00:12:27.31
I think you know he
is, we got to have him.
00:12:27.34\00:12:30.78
So, when you say,
when you're close to God.
00:12:30.81\00:12:36.82
Are you also saying
then, then there's a period
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where you are challenged
to the point where you know?
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I think, I think...
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I think there are
times when it's not
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that God is not
always first in my life,
00:12:51.27\00:12:54.10
but I think that there's a time
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whether it's through
busyness or through whatever
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that, that sometimes
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He's not in the
forefront of our minds,
00:13:01.58\00:13:03.35
and we're just going about
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our daily lives and doing stuff.
00:13:04.75\00:13:06.95
And it's almost
like we lose a sense
00:13:06.98\00:13:09.88
that He is there,
even though He said,
00:13:09.92\00:13:11.29
"He would never
leave us nor forsake us."
00:13:11.32\00:13:13.66
But we become distracted
by the things of the world,
00:13:13.69\00:13:16.62
and things that are
going on in our lives.
00:13:16.66\00:13:19.63
And you know, I'll say my
life, I make it personal and--
00:13:19.66\00:13:24.83
But God always,
00:13:24.87\00:13:28.10
He's always that
still small voice,
00:13:28.14\00:13:31.31
you know, and usually for me,
00:13:31.34\00:13:33.31
it happens when I
turn everything off,
00:13:33.34\00:13:36.24
and when my wife
and children are asleep.
00:13:36.28\00:13:38.65
And sometimes I'm just up,
00:13:38.68\00:13:40.18
sometimes I'm playing my guitar.
00:13:40.22\00:13:42.38
And I'll just
sense his presence.
00:13:42.42\00:13:44.65
And it literally breaks me down,
00:13:44.69\00:13:46.09
I'll sometimes I'll just tear up
00:13:46.12\00:13:48.02
for no reason at all,
00:13:48.06\00:13:49.39
because I know that
He's that close to me.
00:13:49.42\00:13:51.29
Heather, you
said that there were,
00:13:51.33\00:13:54.56
there were times when
you can read your husband
00:13:54.60\00:13:58.27
and determine
what's going on with him,
00:13:58.30\00:14:00.87
you know, and
how to approach him.
00:14:00.90\00:14:03.97
How do you maintain
that communication with him
00:14:04.01\00:14:09.18
especially when you recognize
that there is some difficulties
00:14:09.21\00:14:13.18
that may be existed, you now,
00:14:13.21\00:14:14.92
he may be dealing with
some personal stressors
00:14:14.95\00:14:17.25
whatever, wherever
it may be happening.
00:14:17.29\00:14:19.89
Sometimes, I'm just quiet.
00:14:19.92\00:14:21.89
And I give him time
to really center himself
00:14:21.92\00:14:26.29
to figure out where he is,
00:14:26.33\00:14:28.70
because I've found
that if I come at him
00:14:28.73\00:14:30.97
at certain times,
00:14:31.00\00:14:32.33
if he's not
ready, it's a disaster.
00:14:32.37\00:14:34.60
You know, and
where we're yelling
00:14:34.64\00:14:36.10
and, you know, going
in separate directions.
00:14:36.14\00:14:40.81
I know eye contact even tone.
00:14:40.84\00:14:43.48
You know, making sure that we,
00:14:43.51\00:14:46.95
I guess keep our cool
especially around the children.
00:14:46.98\00:14:50.05
How long did it take
you to recognize, that
00:14:50.09\00:14:52.52
I mean you've been married
now for three years, right?
00:14:52.55\00:14:55.49
We're still working on it.
00:14:55.52\00:14:56.86
Okay, it's important
you know because it's not,
00:14:56.89\00:15:00.00
it's not
something that just happens.
00:15:00.03\00:15:03.00
No, no, and we've actually
called in third party help.
00:15:03.03\00:15:08.60
I'm a therapist
00:15:08.64\00:15:09.97
and I'm not afraid
of counselors, you know,
00:15:10.01\00:15:11.91
I'm not afraid of asking
for help when we need it.
00:15:11.94\00:15:14.91
And especially
after we had the baby,
00:15:14.94\00:15:17.81
we're tired and we
never planned to have a baby.
00:15:17.85\00:15:20.92
You know,
00:15:20.95\00:15:22.28
that wasn't in our plan
in the big scope of things.
00:15:22.32\00:15:25.95
So, we never
talked about infancy
00:15:25.99\00:15:29.69
and you know
raising in discipline
00:15:29.72\00:15:32.06
and because Ryan was older.
00:15:32.09\00:15:34.40
You know, and it was,
it was easier with him,
00:15:34.43\00:15:36.73
because he was
already established.
00:15:36.77\00:15:38.60
But it's really
interesting to find out,
00:15:38.63\00:15:40.90
you know how different we are.
00:15:40.94\00:15:43.17
And even how, he was
raised and how I was raised.
00:15:43.20\00:15:45.51
Like I like, I put
posters on the wall.
00:15:45.54\00:15:47.61
Like I go to the Teacher store
and I put posters on the way,
00:15:47.64\00:15:50.58
I have all these little words,
00:15:50.61\00:15:51.95
these sight words that I put up.
00:15:51.98\00:15:53.88
He is still like,
"What are you doing?
00:15:53.92\00:15:58.85
You know, so there
was an adjustment there
00:15:58.89\00:16:00.96
but if we keep our
finger on the pulse
00:16:00.99\00:16:05.03
of each other's hearts,
you know, it works out better.
00:16:05.06\00:16:09.63
I like that keeping
yourself connected to the pulse
00:16:09.66\00:16:12.40
of the heart.
00:16:12.43\00:16:14.04
Heather, let me
ask you a question,
00:16:14.07\00:16:15.40
your me time, you, you
know, where is your time?
00:16:15.44\00:16:17.97
At work. At work?
00:16:18.01\00:16:19.71
Yes. That's where you escape.
00:16:19.74\00:16:21.08
Yes, I've been
blessed with a job
00:16:21.11\00:16:24.45
that I really enjoy.
00:16:24.48\00:16:26.15
And I do have downtime at work.
00:16:26.18\00:16:30.75
And I have my
Sabbath school lesson.
00:16:30.79\00:16:32.85
In my desk at work,
I keep my Bible there.
00:16:32.89\00:16:35.66
When I'm at home I do
worship with the children.
00:16:35.69\00:16:39.73
So, I'm reading,
00:16:39.76\00:16:41.10
you know, Jr.
Early Teen devotional,
00:16:41.13\00:16:42.66
I'm reading the
Toddler devotional,
00:16:42.70\00:16:45.13
we're singing baby songs
00:16:45.17\00:16:46.50
or whatever but
when I actually get
00:16:46.53\00:16:48.97
to connect with
God in my own time
00:16:49.00\00:16:51.47
is when I'm in the
office, I close my door.
00:16:51.51\00:16:54.68
You know, and that's
when I have my me time.
00:16:54.71\00:16:56.04
Because, when I come home,
00:16:56.08\00:16:57.41
he is so tired having to
work with a baby all day,
00:16:57.45\00:16:59.21
his hands are off.
00:16:59.25\00:17:00.58
I fix dinner and then go to bed.
00:17:00.62\00:17:02.62
So my question is
00:17:02.65\00:17:03.99
with the me time for the
couple, the relationship.
00:17:04.02\00:17:07.09
Where do you all get
rejuvenate your life,
00:17:07.12\00:17:09.92
your marriage, your
love, your sexuality,
00:17:09.96\00:17:12.56
where does it come in?
00:17:12.59\00:17:13.93
Come on top.
00:17:13.96\00:17:15.56
We used to have date night,
00:17:15.60\00:17:16.93
but that's not really
on the agenda anymore.
00:17:16.97\00:17:21.37
It's there somewhere.
00:17:21.40\00:17:22.74
But we laugh and joke a lot.
00:17:22.77\00:17:25.57
Lean in bed, being silly.
00:17:25.61\00:17:28.18
All right. All right.
00:17:28.21\00:17:29.54
And then you both are musicians,
00:17:29.58\00:17:31.01
you know, so
that, is there a time
00:17:31.05\00:17:33.52
where you both can
possibly get on the same page.
00:17:33.55\00:17:38.39
It's almost like a
challenge we're going to know,
00:17:38.42\00:17:40.59
so you have those
musician differences.
00:17:40.62\00:17:43.32
He gives me a hard time
00:17:43.36\00:17:45.46
because
musically he doesn't like
00:17:45.49\00:17:47.73
to practice with me.
00:17:47.76\00:17:49.10
I thought you were
playing my guitar today.
00:17:49.13\00:17:50.47
I did play your guitar today.
00:17:50.50\00:17:51.83
Yes. Okay. But, he doesn't.
00:17:54.87\00:17:57.81
He doesn't like to
rehearse that much with me.
00:17:57.84\00:18:02.38
Well, that bring to me
another question today.
00:18:02.41\00:18:05.08
Let's look at drive.
00:18:05.11\00:18:06.51
As far as you're
driving your husband's drive,
00:18:06.55\00:18:09.42
you know, are you saying that
your drive is more motivating,
00:18:09.45\00:18:14.49
more intense
than your husband's?
00:18:14.52\00:18:17.76
It depends on what
you're talking about.
00:18:17.79\00:18:19.53
Because he is very passionate.
00:18:19.56\00:18:20.96
Okay. Just differences.
00:18:21.00\00:18:23.40
And he's a, he's a musician.
00:18:23.43\00:18:24.77
so he's very sensitive,
he feels things deeply
00:18:24.80\00:18:27.87
and he's very
opinionated, you know.
00:18:27.90\00:18:30.81
And I think for her music
00:18:30.84\00:18:33.04
is something
that she loves to do.
00:18:33.07\00:18:34.78
For me, it's my
bread and butter.
00:18:34.81\00:18:37.11
So, when I do it, it's
a whole different dynamic.
00:18:37.15\00:18:40.88
You know, in terms
of intensity and...
00:18:40.92\00:18:45.42
But I'm thankful,
I'm glad that she is.
00:18:45.45\00:18:47.26
So, are you more
critical because of that,
00:18:47.29\00:18:50.33
because you're looking in.
00:18:50.36\00:18:51.69
I'm not critical
because I understand that
00:18:51.73\00:18:53.50
different people
are on different levels
00:18:53.53\00:18:55.86
and I accept that.
00:18:55.90\00:18:57.23
You know, I don't,
I don't challenge her
00:18:57.27\00:18:59.10
to be as intense as I am,
00:18:59.13\00:19:01.64
because she don't have too,
00:19:01.67\00:19:03.00
she's a psychologist.
00:19:03.04\00:19:04.37
You know, I'm a
professional musician.
00:19:04.41\00:19:07.98
That's what I do so.
00:19:08.01\00:19:09.68
But one thing I will
say about our relationship.
00:19:09.71\00:19:15.52
I don't always see how
things are working between us.
00:19:15.55\00:19:21.09
But when I look at
the results of our lives,
00:19:21.12\00:19:25.49
and what we're
actually doing together.
00:19:25.53\00:19:27.86
I can see it from,
when I stand back and look.
00:19:27.90\00:19:31.10
You know, when we
got, when we were dating,
00:19:31.13\00:19:33.67
I was legally blind.
00:19:33.70\00:19:36.14
And I wasn't driving,
00:19:36.17\00:19:37.51
I haven't driven for
more almost six years,
00:19:37.54\00:19:39.64
while we were dating.
00:19:39.67\00:19:41.01
I think, I
remember you talking to me
00:19:41.04\00:19:42.38
about that once.
00:19:42.41\00:19:43.75
And now, you
know, I had a surgery
00:19:43.78\00:19:45.11
so I can see now.
00:19:45.15\00:19:46.48
I'm driving, I got my license
00:19:46.51\00:19:47.88
and you know, we,
00:19:47.92\00:19:49.95
we own our own house, you know.
00:19:49.98\00:19:52.05
We have a brand new child,
00:19:52.09\00:19:53.42
so I can see how
God is adding on to us,
00:19:53.46\00:19:56.52
even in the midst
of the tribulations
00:19:56.56\00:19:59.36
and the trials and the struggle.
00:19:59.39\00:20:01.13
There are still good things
that are happening within that.
00:20:01.16\00:20:04.23
And you don't always,
00:20:04.27\00:20:06.77
you do always appreciate
it but I love my wife dearly.
00:20:06.80\00:20:11.21
And I appreciate
everything that she is.
00:20:11.24\00:20:14.08
And, I'm not
supposed to look at you all.
00:20:14.11\00:20:18.41
But, I really do she,
she, she is everything to me.
00:20:18.45\00:20:22.25
You're a blended
family though, right?
00:20:22.28\00:20:25.39
You know, so, what are some
of the challenges with that?
00:20:25.42\00:20:28.82
I think the challenge
is including everybody.
00:20:28.86\00:20:32.26
Sometimes it's,
sometimes we don't think
00:20:32.29\00:20:34.70
about my daughter is
that her living with,
00:20:34.73\00:20:38.80
you know, living out in Canton,
00:20:38.83\00:20:40.20
living with their parents.
00:20:40.24\00:20:42.30
And sometimes, it may not
be as much as guilt on her
00:20:42.34\00:20:45.41
as it is for me.
00:20:45.44\00:20:46.94
But I think about
them when sometimes when,
00:20:46.98\00:20:49.94
when you know, me and
Maven and Ryan go out to eat.
00:20:49.98\00:20:55.28
And we're enjoying each
other, I think about you know,
00:20:55.32\00:20:58.12
where are my other children,
00:20:58.15\00:20:59.49
I feel like I'm investing
a lot of time into them
00:20:59.52\00:21:02.06
and not in my other children
00:21:02.09\00:21:03.66
and we've
actually talked about that.
00:21:03.69\00:21:06.36
And I let them
know, look, we think,
00:21:06.39\00:21:08.46
everything that I do
include all of my children
00:21:08.50\00:21:11.20
even if you don't
see it right away,
00:21:11.23\00:21:13.44
you're going to benefit from it.
00:21:13.47\00:21:15.34
And it includes all of you.
00:21:15.37\00:21:16.71
Listen, we want to thank
you both for being a part
00:21:16.74\00:21:19.77
of making it work once
again and connected by love.
00:21:19.81\00:21:24.01
Truly this has been a journey
and the journey will continue.
00:21:24.05\00:21:27.88
And the legacy now
through your children,
00:21:27.92\00:21:30.55
through your
grandchild, through your music,
00:21:30.59\00:21:32.39
through you work.
00:21:32.42\00:21:33.99
God has truly blessed you
both and I just want to say,
00:21:34.02\00:21:37.29
how proud I am of you.
00:21:37.33\00:21:38.93
I have known you
both for very long time.
00:21:38.96\00:21:40.93
Arthur and I, and we
will continue to allow
00:21:40.96\00:21:44.33
this relationship to grow.
00:21:44.37\00:21:45.93
We want to thank
you for being a part
00:21:45.97\00:21:47.54
of making it work.
00:21:47.57\00:21:48.90
Thank you for
having us. God bless.
00:21:48.94\00:21:50.81
God bless.
00:21:50.84\00:21:52.17
Arthur, that was a
wonderful interview.
00:21:53.14\00:21:56.51
Heather and
Darryl have gone through
00:21:56.54\00:21:58.05
a lot of experience in life.
00:21:58.08\00:21:59.85
Let's talk about
some of the issues
00:21:59.88\00:22:02.18
of the interview.
00:22:02.22\00:22:03.55
They are a blended
family being able to adjust,
00:22:03.59\00:22:07.26
they recently
had a new baby girl.
00:22:07.29\00:22:09.12
Yeah.
00:22:09.16\00:22:10.49
And also Darryl's
relationship with his son.
00:22:10.53\00:22:13.90
So, let's talk
about some of the things
00:22:13.93\00:22:15.36
that you and I
observed doing this interview.
00:22:15.40\00:22:18.53
Well, you know I guess
00:22:18.57\00:22:20.64
well, it was
really impressive to me
00:22:20.67\00:22:22.40
was the fact that Darryl seems
00:22:22.44\00:22:24.94
really committed
to the relationship.
00:22:24.97\00:22:27.88
Okay.
00:22:27.91\00:22:30.21
Once again, being in a
blended family environment,
00:22:30.25\00:22:33.78
it takes a lot of work
00:22:33.82\00:22:35.25
and it's really important
that you accept the fact
00:22:35.28\00:22:39.02
that this child
is not a stepchild,
00:22:39.05\00:22:42.72
it's your child.
00:22:42.76\00:22:44.09
I have a saying how
many steps do I have
00:22:44.13\00:22:46.36
to take for
their child to be mine.
00:22:46.39\00:22:48.53
So, we need to
get rid of the labels,
00:22:48.56\00:22:50.63
stepchild,
stepmother, stepfather,
00:22:50.67\00:22:53.10
we are a blended family.
00:22:53.13\00:22:54.47
We're family. And
Darryl accepted that.
00:22:54.50\00:22:58.91
But, you know,
another thing that was
00:22:58.94\00:23:00.78
really
impressive to me is Heather
00:23:00.81\00:23:03.55
and how she assisted
Darryl in dealing with
00:23:03.58\00:23:06.85
his debilitating
disease that he had.
00:23:06.88\00:23:09.75
I mean he was going through
a really dramatic situation
00:23:09.78\00:23:14.09
and she helped him through that.
00:23:14.12\00:23:15.62
And that was right
after they were married.
00:23:15.66\00:23:17.63
Absolutely you know.
00:23:17.66\00:23:19.09
Can you imagine
being a new bride,
00:23:19.13\00:23:21.10
and you're
expecting things to go one way
00:23:21.13\00:23:23.20
and things go another way.
00:23:23.23\00:23:24.77
And you have to allow
the Holy Spirit to help you
00:23:24.80\00:23:27.80
to be able to step in
00:23:27.84\00:23:29.70
and be that perfect
person, or that good person.
00:23:29.74\00:23:32.54
Because no one
is perfect but God.
00:23:32.57\00:23:34.48
You know, but even in that,
00:23:34.51\00:23:37.18
you can see that it
was a trying situation,
00:23:37.21\00:23:40.98
and it really caused
00:23:41.02\00:23:42.68
both of them to
really dig down deep.
00:23:42.72\00:23:45.92
And to really
try to be supportive
00:23:45.95\00:23:48.59
of the whole
situation that had occurred,
00:23:48.62\00:23:51.43
it came out of
nowhere, boom, you know.
00:23:51.46\00:23:53.43
So, being in support of,
of course always first of all,
00:23:53.46\00:23:56.73
we have to seek God's will.
00:23:56.77\00:23:58.50
"Seek ye first
the Kingdom of God.
00:23:58.53\00:24:00.04
And all things will
be added onto thee."
00:24:00.07\00:24:01.94
Then of course,
00:24:01.97\00:24:03.30
praying without
ceasing as a relationship.
00:24:03.34\00:24:05.37
But the support
that needs to be shown,
00:24:05.41\00:24:07.78
and not separating the fact that
00:24:07.81\00:24:09.58
we are both parents
in this relationship.
00:24:09.61\00:24:11.78
Where Darryl
cannot discipline his son,
00:24:11.81\00:24:14.68
and no, Heather saying,
"I will take care of that."
00:24:14.72\00:24:17.82
But he says, "I am
a part of this family.
00:24:17.85\00:24:20.09
So, we work together."
00:24:20.12\00:24:21.66
Because there was a
concern at one point.
00:24:21.69\00:24:24.09
But now, they have a
new addition to the family.
00:24:24.13\00:24:28.90
So that even, that
connection even grows even more.
00:24:28.93\00:24:32.47
And they're excited, you know.
00:24:32.50\00:24:34.04
But I think
what's really important
00:24:34.07\00:24:36.87
is another thing is that
they both have recognized
00:24:36.91\00:24:40.81
they have a talent.
00:24:40.84\00:24:43.01
They are creative,
and they work together.
00:24:43.04\00:24:45.95
And they really
both of them are excited,
00:24:45.98\00:24:49.18
and they write,
they sing, they play.
00:24:49.22\00:24:52.79
Yes. So, that's
another connection.
00:24:52.82\00:24:54.62
And there's no competition.
00:24:54.66\00:24:55.99
You know in some marriages,
00:24:56.02\00:24:57.36
it's like, I'm in
competition with you,
00:24:57.39\00:24:58.96
but why are we in competition
shouldn't we be a team,
00:24:58.99\00:25:02.66
you know, and that's a
concept, that's a solution.
00:25:02.70\00:25:04.93
We must think like a
team, act like a team,
00:25:04.97\00:25:07.04
work like a team.
00:25:07.07\00:25:08.60
And be a team for God.
00:25:08.64\00:25:10.34
And it's working on
being equally yoked,
00:25:10.37\00:25:14.04
even though you may
not be equally yoked
00:25:14.08\00:25:15.94
when you come
into a relationship,
00:25:15.98\00:25:17.78
you know,
there's a lot of things
00:25:17.81\00:25:19.48
that can enhance
your relationship.
00:25:19.51\00:25:23.45
You know, work on
being equally yoked,
00:25:23.49\00:25:26.55
finding things that's
going to make you stay together.
00:25:26.59\00:25:29.82
Now, you know another thing
I want to add is that when.
00:25:29.86\00:25:32.99
I have a weakness, you
help me, you hold me up.
00:25:33.03\00:25:36.26
And when you're
weak, I hold you up.
00:25:36.30\00:25:38.83
And so, we
compliment one another you know,
00:25:38.87\00:25:41.60
I think complimenting
00:25:41.64\00:25:42.97
one another is a
definite solution to say that
00:25:43.00\00:25:46.14
I don't have to
wait for someone else
00:25:46.17\00:25:47.51
to pat me on the back.
00:25:47.54\00:25:48.88
I'm going to encourage you,
I'm going to strengthen you,
00:25:48.91\00:25:51.45
I'm going to help you,
I'm going to pray for you.
00:25:51.48\00:25:53.62
I'm going to be there
for you and be by your side.
00:25:53.65\00:25:56.99
So, as we look
at the relationship
00:25:57.02\00:25:59.29
between Darryl and Heather,
00:25:59.32\00:26:00.96
we have the commitment.
00:26:00.99\00:26:02.32
Yes.
00:26:02.36\00:26:03.69
We have prayer,
we have seeking God
00:26:03.73\00:26:05.99
on a consistent basis.
00:26:06.03\00:26:07.76
So, you can't just pray
to God every now and then.
00:26:07.80\00:26:10.83
It means communicating with God
00:26:10.87\00:26:12.43
on a daily basis
two to three times,
00:26:12.47\00:26:14.87
four times a day.
00:26:14.90\00:26:16.24
Absolutely and
that's really something
00:26:16.27\00:26:17.61
that you have to understand.
00:26:17.64\00:26:19.41
And like you said, the
commitment has to be there,
00:26:19.44\00:26:22.51
and that's
waking up in the morning
00:26:22.54\00:26:23.95
and praying together,
00:26:23.98\00:26:25.31
praying together,
throughout the day,
00:26:25.35\00:26:26.88
praying together in evening.
00:26:26.92\00:26:29.35
That helps you because,
00:26:29.38\00:26:31.12
even though you may
have some disagreements,
00:26:31.15\00:26:33.22
there's a way out.
00:26:33.25\00:26:34.79
You can recognize that
through the disagreements
00:26:34.82\00:26:38.49
that we may have
00:26:38.53\00:26:39.86
but if we pray, and
we support each other,
00:26:39.89\00:26:42.53
we can overcome these things.
00:26:42.56\00:26:44.40
You know, I think
what's important also
00:26:44.43\00:26:45.80
is to be kind, be
nice, be sensitive.
00:26:45.83\00:26:49.34
You know, support
one another through
00:26:49.37\00:26:51.07
the way you greet each other.
00:26:51.11\00:26:53.31
In the morning,
just greeting each other
00:26:53.34\00:26:55.68
helps you to have a better day.
00:26:55.71\00:26:57.81
And you want to
come home that evening
00:26:57.85\00:27:00.42
to greet that person.
00:27:00.45\00:27:01.85
Well, I am
excited what God is doing
00:27:01.88\00:27:03.82
for Darryl and Heather
and their beautiful children.
00:27:03.85\00:27:06.79
And what is
coming next for them.
00:27:06.82\00:27:09.52
Great ministries are ahead.
00:27:09.56\00:27:11.26
I'm excited to come,
00:27:11.29\00:27:12.63
because I think God has
done a great thing for you.
00:27:12.66\00:27:15.46
But he has made
me your life soul.
00:27:15.50\00:27:19.57
I'm excited that
00:27:19.60\00:27:20.94
Arthur is in my
life and I'm in his life.
00:27:20.97\00:27:23.20
Well, I'm Dr Kim
Logan-Nowlin. I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:27:23.24\00:27:25.87
And thank you for joining us
on making it work. God bless.
00:27:25.91\00:27:29.68