Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
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And I'm Arthur Nowlin.
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And welcome to "Making It Work."
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How you doing, Arthur? I'm fine.
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Kim, what about
yourself today? I am good.
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You know, little chilly
outside but God is good.
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Yes, yes.
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Now listen--
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They call it an
Arctic frost or something.
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Really? It feels like it.
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Yeah. But you
know that's Michigan.
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You never know what takes place.
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Yes.
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You know, but listen, I
want to ask you a question.
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You know, you have been
a social worker how long?
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Oh, man. I would
say at least 28 years.
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All right and your years
in the field of social work,
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how have you learned to
help people dealing with loss
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and death and dying?
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How have you dealt
with that over your years?
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Well, basically we
had to get to help them
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to continue to communicate
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about the issues
especially when it's someone
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that's really close to them.
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There is a different
levels of grief, you know,
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so but when it's really
a close relative or someone
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that you really have
a good friendship with
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it's a little
bit more difficult.
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Why is it difficult for
people to come into counseling
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to deal with their grief?
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What is it?
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Well, some of them
don't really think about it
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coming into counseling.
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They just think they have
to deal the loss themselves
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but you and I know that
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the more you
communicate about it,
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the more that you
express your feelings,
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the better it becomes
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but it's never to a point
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where you just
totally forget about it,
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especially if it's a
parent or a real loved one.
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Wow.
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Well, today on Making It Work,
we have a very special guest.
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She's been in my
life, all my life.
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And she has been a
mentor, a big sister to say,
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wonderful person, a role model
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and but she has
gone through something
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she has joined us today,
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taking a special time to
be with us on Making It Work.
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Let's welcome Mrs. Genora Jones.
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Hi Hi.
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How are you,
beautiful? How are you doing?
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I'm doing, I'm
doing better. Excellent.
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I'm doing better.
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But, you know, we
wanted you to come on
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because over the last few years
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we have been seeing
you and watching you.
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Though we were
waiting to invite you.
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When we got this opportunity
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you are one of the first persons
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we thought about to interview.
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But the Lord said, "Wait."
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And then I
contacted you and you said...
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Yes, I will.
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And we want you to
share with our 3ABN
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Dare to Dream
family your testimony.
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Can you tell our
family and our viewers
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what happened in your life?
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Tell your testimony.
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Well, I did have a
very traumatic experience
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with the loss of my
husband, David Jones.
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He and I were very close.
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We have been
married for ten years.
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Wow.
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And, you know, it
is in zip it happened,
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you know, just recently.
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In fact, tomorrow would be
the anniversary of his death.
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Really? Yes, it will be.
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What.
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Yeah, he was in an accident
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on January 23, 2006.
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And even though it's
been seven years it's still,
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you know, sometimes pretty hard,
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you know, for me.
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I have feelings of
loneliness, emptiness sometimes,
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not necessarily bitterness.
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You know, initially I had
that feeling but not now and,
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you know, it was just a
great loss for me to lose David.
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To tell you what happened,
I think it is easier for me
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to talk about it now
and before it really wasn't.
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You know, in fact,
I think I suppressed
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the whole incident to the point
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where my family was
really worried about me.
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You know, it's been
seen by psychologist,
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psychiatrist and I
was eventually diagnosed
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to severe depression.
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But, you know, when I have
to bring it to the forefront,
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you know, as I'm doing
now I do remember, you know,
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the morning that had happened.
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David-- with my
being a nurse, you know,
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I worked odd shifts
and David and I were like
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two shifts in the night
therefore about a good month,
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you know, and one night
I was about to get off duty
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it was around 11 o' clock.
00:05:07.24\00:05:10.14
David called the
emergency room where I worked
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and said that he
would wait up for me
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because he normally had
to get up at three o' clock
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to get ready to go to the work.
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And he said, he would wait
up for me this particular night.
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I thought it was
rather strange but he did,
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he waited for me and of
course we spent time together.
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It was a beautiful time
that was spent together and,
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you know, then
eventually drifted off to sleep.
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And around three,
around four o' clock,
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he was ready for work and
the last thing I remember,
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it was, you know,
him kissing me goodbye
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and the next I remember
it was a knock on my door,
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'cause apparently
I had fallen asleep
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right after David left.
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And the knock on
the door was so loud
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apparently they had
been knocking a while.
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And when I went
downstairs, it was the police
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and the first thing I thought,
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you know, of course my son
at that time was in Iran, Iraq
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and I thought but that
didn't see any soldiers
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or military people
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and I couldn't figure out what,
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you know, what was going on.
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And they-- and I asked
them I wouldn't open the door.
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I asked them, you
know, "Why are you here?"
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And they said,
"Ma'am, please open the door."
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And I said, "No."
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I said, you could have had--
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of course I was very hysterical.
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I'm being very
calm now but they said
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"Well, call 911 and
operator will tell you."
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And when I called at
911, I told her who I was,
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where I lived and she said,
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"Ma'am, open the
door for the police."
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I opened the door and
that's when they told me.
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And it was,
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it was so traumatic for me.
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You know, I really, you know,
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I kind of lost exactly
everything that went on
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but I do remember calling family
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and having family members
come by and for, you know,
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I can't honestly tell
you everything that went on
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but it was very, very traumatic.
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You know, it's
amazing if you don't have
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family members or
your church family
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I don't think I would
have made it through all that.
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You know, even with all the help
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from the psychologist
and the psychiatrist
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wanting to put me on
medications, you know,
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and I didn't wanted to
take the medications of course,
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because being a nurse, you know,
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I know all the side
effects of some of those drugs.
00:07:47.80\00:07:50.73
But even with all my family
members that rallied around me.
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My sister,
Travis, my brother Edward,
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my aunt Rachel
Franklin, they were there
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and they are still
there for me today.
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You know, I have family members
that help me with my finances,
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you know, to get
those things arranged.
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I had family members,
the Baxter's helping me
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with legal matters.
00:08:14.32\00:08:17.36
If you don't have
people in your life, you know,
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there is just no way
you can pull it through
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something like that.
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But the one thing that I didn't
think of was my spirituality,
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you know, I
just, I wasn't there,
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you know, at that time.
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And, you know, there were times
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when I were going to a
deep state of depression.
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My family was really worried
about me because, you know,
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I was always a
very happy-go-lucky...
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Always, always.
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You know, always laughing
and joking about everything
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but this experience
just totally changed my life.
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You know, I would
eat or I would not eat.
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My appetite would be gone,
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or I would eat
more than I should.
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There were times when
I couldn't get to sleep
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and I was just finally
diagnosed as severe depression.
00:09:05.77\00:09:11.51
Were you working at that time?
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I mean, I mean,
shortly after the incident.
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How soon did
you go back to work?
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It actually took
me about six weeks.
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For one thing, I couldn't drive
because what happened to David
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was that and it took exactly,
it didn't even take a minute
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for it to happen from the time
he left our porch to the time
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the accident happened
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because someone timed it for me.
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Just to tell me how
far they got, you know,
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to the accident site.
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But what happened was
there were some robbers
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that had robbed at
7-Eleven, coming out Bradford
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and they took
Lahser all the way through,
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you know, to Southfield.
00:09:57.63\00:09:59.66
And by the time they
got to nine mile in Lahser,
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David was turning
up in to a gas station.
00:10:02.93\00:10:05.87
There were no
headlights on the police car,
00:10:05.90\00:10:07.67
there were no sirens
00:10:07.70\00:10:09.04
because
apparently they had caught up
00:10:09.07\00:10:11.31
with the young man
that had robbed the store.
00:10:11.34\00:10:15.14
And just as the
police approached their car,
00:10:15.18\00:10:17.98
they took off.
00:10:18.01\00:10:19.41
So the police without thinking
just took off back to them
00:10:19.45\00:10:22.58
and that's why
that David wasn't aware
00:10:22.62\00:10:25.85
that these cars were coming
00:10:25.89\00:10:27.76
because they were going
at high speed but no lights
00:10:27.79\00:10:31.73
which was brought up in court
00:10:31.76\00:10:34.66
but that's, you
know, another story.
00:10:34.70\00:10:37.07
So was it the robbers that
hit David or was it the police?
00:10:37.10\00:10:40.14
The robbers. The
robbers hit David.
00:10:40.17\00:10:42.00
Yes, and the passenger,
00:10:42.04\00:10:43.61
the young man that was
the passenger in the car,
00:10:43.64\00:10:46.24
he was killed.
00:10:46.27\00:10:47.61
He died too.
00:10:47.64\00:10:48.98
There were two
families affected by this, mine.
00:10:49.01\00:10:52.11
And David was killed
instantly? David was killed.
00:10:52.15\00:10:54.45
He lasted,
according to the reports,
00:10:54.48\00:10:59.62
he lasted two minutes.
00:10:59.65\00:11:02.09
Two minutes.
00:11:02.12\00:11:04.43
And so they probably knocked
a mile and I guess, you know,
00:11:04.46\00:11:10.30
about two minutes
according to the coroner,
00:11:10.33\00:11:13.40
he lasted about two minutes.
00:11:13.44\00:11:15.04
So the police officers
didn't have their warning lights
00:11:15.07\00:11:19.14
or police lights on?
00:11:19.17\00:11:20.51
No, they didn't.
00:11:20.54\00:11:21.88
So when you said
to go back to driving,
00:11:21.91\00:11:24.71
you couldn't drive
to work because of...
00:11:24.75\00:11:26.31
Oh, yeah.
00:11:26.35\00:11:27.68
This connection
to David's death.
00:11:27.72\00:11:29.72
Yes, that's exactly.
00:11:29.75\00:11:32.05
At least that's what the
psychiatrist is telling me
00:11:32.09\00:11:34.79
because I couldn't drive
00:11:34.82\00:11:36.59
and I am very nervous right now,
00:11:36.62\00:11:38.13
so you have to forgive me.
00:11:38.16\00:11:39.49
You are doing
fine. You are excellent
00:11:39.53\00:11:43.50
He-- I couldn't drive for
about may be two or three weeks
00:11:43.53\00:11:47.90
and to this day, I
can't go to the site,
00:11:47.94\00:11:51.77
you know, once I was in,
00:11:51.81\00:11:54.61
I think it was friend
who was driving me some place
00:11:54.64\00:11:57.85
and they accidentally
turned left towards nine miles
00:11:57.88\00:12:01.72
instead of right, towards to,
00:12:01.75\00:12:04.35
and I went into a panic
that you wouldn't believe.
00:12:04.39\00:12:07.12
And they didn't
know why all of a sudden
00:12:07.16\00:12:09.76
I was grabbing
them and telling them
00:12:09.79\00:12:11.99
you've got to stop this car.
00:12:12.03\00:12:14.13
You know, and that's
how severe it was for me.
00:12:14.16\00:12:17.33
I'm not quite that bad
now, I'm not that bad at all now
00:12:17.37\00:12:20.34
but I still
cannot go to the area
00:12:20.37\00:12:26.21
and after about five years,
00:12:26.24\00:12:28.14
I finally moved.
00:12:28.18\00:12:29.51
My sons were telling me
I needed to let, you know,
00:12:29.54\00:12:32.28
to sell the house and get
out of the area, and so I did.
00:12:32.31\00:12:36.79
So I'm no longer in the
area but I don't forget.
00:12:36.82\00:12:42.16
No. You really don't forget.
00:12:42.19\00:12:46.56
You know, as I was
saying in the beginning
00:12:46.59\00:12:49.70
weren't that for my family,
00:12:49.73\00:12:52.07
my immediate family
and my church family,
00:12:52.10\00:12:56.20
believe it or not
they still rally around.
00:12:56.24\00:13:00.18
Sometimes it's
still very lonely,
00:13:00.21\00:13:01.98
even with all the
people that come to me,
00:13:02.01\00:13:04.85
that have been
so very comforting,
00:13:04.88\00:13:07.82
it's still a very,
very lonely time for me,
00:13:07.85\00:13:12.82
you know, not to have him.
00:13:12.85\00:13:14.32
You know, long days
and even longer nights.
00:13:14.36\00:13:17.56
You know, because my
nights were the best time
00:13:17.59\00:13:21.83
because that was the time
00:13:21.86\00:13:23.20
that David and I
would come together,
00:13:23.23\00:13:25.47
you know, until I started
working these weird shifts
00:13:25.50\00:13:28.94
and then, you know, he
having to get up at three,
00:13:28.97\00:13:32.84
you know, it kind of took away
but evening time was our time.
00:13:32.87\00:13:37.71
Someone said the Holy Spirit--
00:13:37.75\00:13:39.81
well, we know it
was the Holy Spirit
00:13:39.85\00:13:41.58
to have David stay
awake and awake for you
00:13:41.62\00:13:45.12
because God
knows beginning to end
00:13:45.15\00:13:48.06
and to a comfort
you are doing that time
00:13:48.09\00:13:50.33
to have those memories
00:13:50.36\00:13:52.29
those last
memories of him, you know.
00:13:52.33\00:13:54.53
Oh, yeah.
00:13:54.56\00:13:55.90
And thinking about, you
know, the church family,
00:13:55.93\00:13:58.80
how has your spirituality
grown from this situation?
00:13:58.83\00:14:03.71
Where are you now with the Lord?
00:14:03.74\00:14:06.34
I'm still on that journey
to getting better spiritually
00:14:06.37\00:14:11.38
and I realize that, you know,
00:14:11.41\00:14:14.85
my journey is not just one step,
00:14:14.88\00:14:16.72
its several
steps to my destination
00:14:16.75\00:14:19.99
and my
destination is to be saved.
00:14:20.02\00:14:22.26
You know, but I
had to really think
00:14:22.29\00:14:25.29
in terms of my spirituality
00:14:25.33\00:14:27.23
and since all this has happened
00:14:27.26\00:14:29.76
and since I'm
beginning to come around again
00:14:29.80\00:14:33.67
I think my walk with
the Lord is even closer now.
00:14:33.70\00:14:37.44
I depend on Him for everything.
00:14:37.47\00:14:39.61
I mean, even
minor things, you know.
00:14:39.64\00:14:42.54
And when I see, you know,
the lost keys or, you know,
00:14:42.58\00:14:45.65
Lord, direct me to
this place or that place.
00:14:45.68\00:14:48.32
And then major things of course,
00:14:48.35\00:14:50.15
because I was
along with the church
00:14:50.19\00:14:52.82
pray for my son to make it back
from Iraq or Iran and he did.
00:14:52.85\00:14:59.49
Praise God.
00:14:59.53\00:15:00.86
Yeah, he did and--
00:15:00.90\00:15:02.23
It was a point though at early
on during this grief process
00:15:02.26\00:15:08.54
that you felt that
God had abandoned you
00:15:08.57\00:15:14.68
or that He was
responsible to some extent.
00:15:14.71\00:15:19.81
I mean, these are feelings
that occur when people go
00:15:19.85\00:15:23.89
to tremendous loss
such as yourself, you know.
00:15:23.92\00:15:27.89
How did you stay connected
00:15:27.92\00:15:29.29
or did you feel
that He abandoned you?
00:15:29.32\00:15:34.10
Well, when I think in
terms of my spirituality
00:15:34.13\00:15:37.93
initially at
that time, you know,
00:15:37.97\00:15:40.54
I was too numb to even
think along those lines.
00:15:40.57\00:15:44.84
But I do remember hearing
00:15:44.87\00:15:47.11
different people
in the area around me
00:15:47.14\00:15:49.64
asking that question,
"Why did God let this happen?"
00:15:49.68\00:15:53.31
But I never thought like that.
00:15:53.35\00:15:54.85
I don't know if it was
because of the numbness
00:15:54.88\00:15:57.05
or the shock from
the trauma or what,
00:15:57.09\00:16:00.59
but I never really
thought along those lines
00:16:00.62\00:16:04.39
that the Lord had abandoned me.
00:16:04.43\00:16:06.03
Because when I started thinking
in terms of my spirituality,
00:16:06.06\00:16:09.66
I was really on
the road to recovery.
00:16:09.70\00:16:12.60
And I wanted to have
that closeness with the Lord.
00:16:12.63\00:16:16.60
And when I feel that
loneliness, you know,
00:16:16.64\00:16:19.14
I do call on Him.
00:16:19.17\00:16:21.34
And I have asked the
question, "When will this pass?
00:16:21.38\00:16:26.92
When will I get through
these feelings, you know?"
00:16:26.95\00:16:30.62
It's not as
traumatic for me now, you know,
00:16:30.65\00:16:34.39
the weight from what I
was feeling at that time
00:16:34.42\00:16:38.06
has lifted
somewhat but, you know,
00:16:38.09\00:16:42.96
it's still there and I
think with it being there
00:16:43.00\00:16:46.37
it has been a
humbling experience.
00:16:46.40\00:16:50.81
I know that other women
have experienced the same thing
00:16:50.84\00:16:54.28
that I have.
00:16:54.31\00:16:55.64
I have joined a group
called "Women of Wisdom"
00:16:55.68\00:17:00.52
and they were all
widows and, you know,
00:17:00.55\00:17:03.72
they expressed
some of the things
00:17:03.75\00:17:05.15
that they went through
00:17:05.19\00:17:07.02
and fortunately it
was a Christian group.
00:17:07.06\00:17:09.72
So, you know, they were
right in line with what I felt
00:17:09.76\00:17:15.33
or wanted to feel spiritually,
and that helped me a lot.
00:17:15.36\00:17:19.40
And I would
recommend groups like that
00:17:19.43\00:17:22.37
for women that
are going through,
00:17:22.40\00:17:24.27
you know, the loss of a mate
or the loss of anyone close.
00:17:24.31\00:17:29.24
But the loss of a mate, I
would suggest a group there
00:17:29.28\00:17:33.75
if you sort to speak
00:17:33.78\00:17:35.12
but we just talked, just talked.
00:17:35.15\00:17:37.45
And I think it's
really important that you,
00:17:37.49\00:17:42.82
as you referred to earlier,
your family got you through
00:17:42.86\00:17:47.56
the experience and
then your church family.
00:17:47.60\00:17:50.93
I think that's so significant
because a lot of times
00:17:50.97\00:17:55.17
we don't know which way
to turn and like you said,
00:17:55.20\00:17:57.74
your family stepped in and
took care of legal matters,
00:17:57.77\00:18:01.84
financial matters.
00:18:01.88\00:18:03.48
Sometimes, you know,
you are going through
00:18:03.51\00:18:06.55
such a traumatic experience,
you can't do it alone
00:18:06.58\00:18:10.45
and your family recognized
00:18:10.49\00:18:12.85
that they didn't
want you to feel alone.
00:18:12.89\00:18:15.09
Right. So that
was very significant.
00:18:15.12\00:18:17.53
Yes. Praise the Lord.
00:18:17.56\00:18:19.06
So now what's in
the future for Genora?
00:18:19.09\00:18:22.23
What's going on
now? You know, dating?
00:18:22.26\00:18:25.90
You think you are
ready to get back out there?
00:18:25.93\00:18:28.37
Where are you with that?
00:18:28.40\00:18:31.01
You know, I knew
you should ask that.
00:18:31.04\00:18:33.78
You know, I go for that,
you don't question that tough.
00:18:33.81\00:18:36.34
I know it's coming out now.
00:18:36.38\00:18:38.61
I think I'm ready now, you know.
00:18:38.65\00:18:42.82
Not that I need
someone to buffer, you know,
00:18:42.85\00:18:45.79
necessarily what
I have gone through
00:18:45.82\00:18:47.86
because this happened
00:18:47.89\00:18:49.36
and that's
something that I can't change
00:18:49.39\00:18:51.29
but I do think that I'm ready
00:18:51.33\00:18:54.73
for relationship
or companionship,
00:18:54.76\00:18:58.57
but it's something I
think I would probably
00:18:58.60\00:19:02.80
just not jump into.
00:19:02.84\00:19:05.04
You know, there
are so many women
00:19:05.07\00:19:07.38
and I have heard
this happen before.
00:19:07.41\00:19:09.44
They are so
lonely that, you know,
00:19:09.48\00:19:13.08
and they would
want to come along
00:19:13.11\00:19:14.68
they are just ready
to get in a relationship,
00:19:14.72\00:19:17.55
whoever he is, he
has to be God fearing.
00:19:17.59\00:19:21.56
He has to be God fearing
because I don't want to be lost
00:19:21.59\00:19:25.56
and whoever the
Lord bless me with,
00:19:25.59\00:19:30.77
I want to be saved
00:19:30.80\00:19:32.13
and I want him
to be saved as well.
00:19:32.17\00:19:34.40
So, to answer your question,
yes, I think I am ready.
00:19:34.44\00:19:38.81
And that's
something I prayed about it
00:19:38.84\00:19:40.74
and asked the Lord
to guide me in that.
00:19:40.78\00:19:45.05
What about internet dating?
00:19:45.08\00:19:46.41
What do you
think about that today?
00:19:46.45\00:19:47.85
Wow. Kim, why?
00:19:47.88\00:19:49.22
What?
00:19:49.25\00:19:50.59
You know we have the SGA,
internet, you know, dating.
00:19:50.62\00:19:55.19
They have the
Christian dating online.
00:19:55.22\00:19:57.53
You know, two of
our Lake Region pastors
00:19:57.56\00:19:59.33
met their wives on the internet.
00:19:59.36\00:20:01.13
Oh, great. Yes.
00:20:01.16\00:20:02.50
So, you know, what
is your opinion of that?
00:20:02.53\00:20:05.93
Well, you know, I think
you have to be very careful
00:20:05.97\00:20:10.24
with something like that,
00:20:10.27\00:20:11.61
even with Christian
internet type dating
00:20:11.64\00:20:15.11
because the
devil is so busy and,
00:20:15.14\00:20:19.01
you know, I want
the Lord to lead me.
00:20:19.05\00:20:21.95
You know, even if He were
00:20:21.98\00:20:23.32
to lead to me
to internet dating,
00:20:23.35\00:20:25.92
you know, I want Him
to be in the forefront
00:20:25.95\00:20:29.19
and guide me
through whatever channels
00:20:29.22\00:20:31.79
I have to go
through to get there.
00:20:31.83\00:20:34.60
But, you know, but just to
be on any of website, you know,
00:20:34.63\00:20:39.23
I think-- sometimes I
feel like it's dangerous
00:20:39.27\00:20:42.34
because you don't
know the individuals
00:20:42.37\00:20:44.74
on the other
side of that screen.
00:20:44.77\00:20:46.61
That's right.
00:20:46.64\00:20:47.98
Yeah, so that's why
00:20:48.01\00:20:49.94
before I would even
venture out with that
00:20:49.98\00:20:52.15
there's something I
would really have to pray about
00:20:52.18\00:20:55.28
and ask for guidance.
00:20:55.32\00:20:56.69
Yeah, you know, He would.
00:20:56.72\00:20:58.05
I would for anything, you
know, I don't know-- you know,
00:20:58.09\00:21:00.56
we talked about
this in other program.
00:21:00.59\00:21:01.92
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
00:21:01.96\00:21:03.29
What's the matter?
00:21:03.32\00:21:04.66
Why can't it happen to
you before it happened to me?
00:21:04.69\00:21:06.03
Listen, wait, hold there.
00:21:06.06\00:21:07.40
You know, we don't
want to get there, okay.
00:21:07.43\00:21:10.03
But, you know, we talked
about it on another program,
00:21:10.07\00:21:12.67
you know, just
excuse him, you know,
00:21:12.70\00:21:15.14
and we talked
about it and as I say,
00:21:15.17\00:21:19.57
I saw your picture,
00:21:19.61\00:21:20.94
would I say, Mmm, and you
saw my picture, what did you do?
00:21:20.98\00:21:24.78
I would say, mmm.
00:21:24.81\00:21:27.88
Would you just let
me-- what did you say?
00:21:27.92\00:21:29.75
I think you said
in the last broadcast.
00:21:29.78\00:21:31.19
That's a
possibility but, you know,
00:21:31.22\00:21:33.69
we have to see
what the competition is.
00:21:33.72\00:21:35.49
What?
00:21:35.52\00:21:37.89
Do you see that,
did you see that?
00:21:37.93\00:21:39.46
Knowing what you know
now you can get right answer.
00:21:39.49\00:21:42.53
You know, I would
see you at, you know,
00:21:42.56\00:21:45.37
we talked and it's the
same college in Detroit
00:21:45.40\00:21:49.50
and you would always, you
know, give me a hug or smile.
00:21:49.54\00:21:53.34
You were always, you
have been the same, the same.
00:21:53.38\00:21:55.51
She's been the same. Same.
00:21:55.54\00:21:56.88
Same.
00:21:56.91\00:21:58.25
But listen, I
knew her first though.
00:21:58.28\00:21:59.95
Yes, you I did but ever
since I have been in church
00:21:59.98\00:22:02.48
you and David have
really reached out to me
00:22:02.52\00:22:04.85
and I must say I
really, really appreciated it.
00:22:04.89\00:22:10.49
How kind and how
supportive you were of me
00:22:10.53\00:22:15.60
when I first
came into this church.
00:22:15.63\00:22:17.57
And that was
last and David and I,
00:22:17.60\00:22:20.67
we were just like brothers
00:22:20.70\00:22:22.64
'cause we always
really greeted each other
00:22:22.67\00:22:25.91
in enthusiastic
and motivating way.
00:22:25.94\00:22:30.45
So... Oh, so glad to hear that.
00:22:30.48\00:22:32.45
Weren't you teaching
him to play the harmonica?
00:22:32.48\00:22:35.08
Yeah. Yes, I remember that.
00:22:35.12\00:22:37.35
Yes, yes. Right.
00:22:37.39\00:22:38.72
I remember. He brought one.
00:22:38.75\00:22:41.12
Yes, he did. He
would play and play.
00:22:41.16\00:22:44.16
And play and play. Yes.
00:22:44.19\00:22:48.36
But what I want
to say though is that
00:22:48.40\00:22:51.77
I really appreciate both of you.
00:22:51.80\00:22:54.44
I mean you are God's
gift to man, I tell you.
00:22:54.47\00:23:00.21
And you haven't changed at all.
00:23:00.24\00:23:02.98
You are just as
sweet as you want to be.
00:23:03.01\00:23:05.15
And then both of you together,
00:23:05.18\00:23:06.51
I could tell that
you love each other
00:23:06.55\00:23:08.32
and that's, you know,
00:23:08.35\00:23:11.05
that's a
testimony in itself to those
00:23:11.09\00:23:14.16
that are trying to make
their marriages work and,
00:23:14.19\00:23:17.59
you know, just love each
other and I'm telling you,
00:23:17.63\00:23:20.53
love each other and nonstop
because you just never know.
00:23:20.56\00:23:25.70
Well, I appreciate
that. You never know.
00:23:25.73\00:23:27.07
I tell Kim that all the times.
00:23:27.10\00:23:29.57
You know, cancel your golf
trip and stay home with me.
00:23:29.60\00:23:32.07
I love you from that far.
00:23:32.11\00:23:35.98
He's got his golf trip, I
given him those golf trips.
00:23:36.01\00:23:39.01
I see.
00:23:39.05\00:23:40.38
And I was in labor, he
was still going around.
00:23:40.42\00:23:42.72
Thank God I had the
baby after his golf trip.
00:23:42.75\00:23:45.95
But, you know, I really
appreciate it and I thank you
00:23:45.99\00:23:47.76
because again, and David
and I were friends, you know,
00:23:47.79\00:23:52.63
coming out to camp
meeting and his sister, Jill
00:23:52.66\00:23:56.20
and then you lost
your sister-in-law.
00:23:56.23\00:23:58.30
Yes. Yes.
00:23:58.33\00:23:59.67
You know, David's sister.
Right, his oldest sister.
00:23:59.70\00:24:02.10
Yeah, Jill.
00:24:02.14\00:24:03.47
Right, and I do, you
know, I do feel for his mom
00:24:03.51\00:24:07.71
because she's
lost her oldest child
00:24:07.74\00:24:09.98
and her
youngest child, you know.
00:24:10.01\00:24:12.21
But she's a God
fearing woman as well.
00:24:12.25\00:24:15.22
Beautiful. What about your sons?
00:24:15.25\00:24:17.09
How did they
respond to the situation
00:24:17.12\00:24:22.49
and I know they
were out of the state
00:24:22.52\00:24:25.26
and think you have
one that's in California.
00:24:25.29\00:24:27.86
Yes. Is he still in California?
00:24:27.90\00:24:29.56
Yes, he is still in California.
00:24:29.60\00:24:30.97
Actually two of
them live in California
00:24:31.00\00:24:33.17
but one is in Texas right now
going to school, finishing up.
00:24:33.20\00:24:37.61
I do have one here the
son that went overseas.
00:24:37.64\00:24:41.08
He's here and Christopher
is still in California.
00:24:41.11\00:24:44.81
But it was
devastating for them as well.
00:24:44.85\00:24:48.12
You know, they were just
beginning to get adjusted
00:24:48.15\00:24:50.85
to the fact that, you
know, their mom had, you know,
00:24:50.89\00:24:55.12
David in their life, in my life
00:24:55.16\00:24:57.53
and so they saw how happy,
00:24:57.56\00:25:00.00
you know, he made me.
00:25:00.03\00:25:02.66
I mean, you know, we
had the typical marriage.
00:25:02.70\00:25:04.97
You know, you
have your ups and downs
00:25:05.00\00:25:07.00
but they were very accepting.
00:25:07.04\00:25:09.54
You know, it was
difficult for them at first
00:25:09.57\00:25:11.47
because David was so
young and they had to adjust
00:25:11.51\00:25:17.28
but they did and
when I lost David,
00:25:17.31\00:25:21.82
I had to have Red Cross
in for Andre and they did.
00:25:21.85\00:25:25.79
They brought him home and
it was devastating for them
00:25:25.82\00:25:28.36
but I think it was even
more devastating for them to see
00:25:28.39\00:25:31.63
how the whole thing
affect, how it affected me.
00:25:31.66\00:25:36.36
And so that's where
their concern was, you know,
00:25:36.40\00:25:39.93
for me and my well-being.
00:25:39.97\00:25:42.40
Did you get a lot of
rhetoric, you know what,
00:25:42.44\00:25:47.34
to support your
friends and family
00:25:47.38\00:25:49.04
'cause David was younger
than you in the beginning.
00:25:49.08\00:25:52.08
Did you get any of that?
00:25:52.11\00:25:54.38
Yes, I did.
00:25:54.42\00:25:56.22
You were then. Yes.
00:25:56.25\00:25:58.65
I did, I did because David
was 12 years younger than I am.
00:25:58.69\00:26:05.03
And there were times
when people even said,
00:26:05.06\00:26:09.03
"Oh, is this your son?"
00:26:09.06\00:26:10.97
You know, so and it was, okay.
00:26:11.00\00:26:13.34
I said. "No,
this is my husband."
00:26:13.37\00:26:15.40
And then
eventually people saw that,
00:26:15.44\00:26:18.01
they really went
in just to look at us
00:26:18.04\00:26:20.01
they said they couldn't
really see the age difference.
00:26:20.04\00:26:22.08
Right, right,
right they couldn't?
00:26:22.11\00:26:23.61
You know, but yes,
I did experience that
00:26:23.65\00:26:26.55
with a lot of people,
00:26:26.58\00:26:27.92
especially those
that grew up with David
00:26:27.95\00:26:31.02
and those who grew
up with me, you know.
00:26:31.05\00:26:33.46
They thought it was
different but it was okay
00:26:33.49\00:26:36.26
because I felt blessed.
00:26:36.29\00:26:37.63
I want to say how much
we appreciate you coming
00:26:37.66\00:26:40.50
and we are gonna
be praying for you.
00:26:40.53\00:26:41.93
Most definitely.
00:26:41.96\00:26:43.30
We are going to
continue to love you.
00:26:43.33\00:26:44.67
And we will continue to
keep an eye on you and I know,
00:26:44.70\00:26:47.44
you know, we will be eating cake
00:26:47.47\00:26:49.20
at your next
wedding, I know that.
00:26:49.24\00:26:51.31
How God has blessed you
00:26:51.34\00:26:52.67
and He is gonna bless you again.
00:26:52.71\00:26:54.04
One final thing.
00:26:54.08\00:26:55.41
What would you say to someone
00:26:55.44\00:26:56.78
who has gone
through those experiences?
00:26:56.81\00:27:00.95
Well, I think the main thing
that I would say, you know,
00:27:00.98\00:27:04.92
of course bring--
when something is traumatic
00:27:04.95\00:27:07.96
you don't think it
as clearly as you should
00:27:07.99\00:27:11.43
but, you know, we can't afford
to push Christ out of our life.
00:27:11.46\00:27:15.43
He never moves, we are
the ones that's moving.
00:27:15.46\00:27:18.20
And I feel that as
long as we are doing things
00:27:18.23\00:27:21.94
according to His will
00:27:21.97\00:27:23.71
and making Him a
part of our life,
00:27:23.74\00:27:25.71
He will guide us
through whatever difficulties
00:27:25.74\00:27:29.68
we are going through.
00:27:29.71\00:27:31.05
I couldn't say that at
first but I believe that now
00:27:31.08\00:27:34.05
and He is still guiding me.
00:27:34.08\00:27:36.02
He's my
counselor, He's my friend
00:27:36.05\00:27:38.99
and He sympathizes with me.
00:27:39.02\00:27:41.12
Sister White says that. Amen.
00:27:41.16\00:27:43.22
And it's so true.
00:27:43.26\00:27:45.83
Well, I thank you for
those closing remarks.
00:27:45.86\00:27:48.03
I know it's going to
help heal many souls.
00:27:48.06\00:27:50.83
Well, thank you for joining
us here on Making It Work.
00:27:50.87\00:27:53.77
I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
00:27:53.80\00:27:55.20
I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:27:55.24\00:27:56.57
God bless.
00:27:56.60\00:27:58.04