Participants: Arthur Nowlin (Host), Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin (Host), Nancy O'Neale
Series Code: MIW
Program Code: MIW000041A
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00:01 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan Nowlin.
00:03 And welcome to "Making It Work." 00:38 Thank you for joining us on 00:39 "Making It Work." 00:41 Doing a little twist, Arthur is not too far away, 00:43 he's over on the other side of the set. 00:45 But today, I've a very special guest with me. 00:48 She's like a daughter to me. 00:49 Her name is Nancy O'Neale. 00:52 I've known Nancy about almost 20 years. 00:55 And she's gonna tell you how she met me, 00:58 but the program today, 00:59 we want to talk about knowing your purpose. 01:02 And do you know your purpose? 01:04 What have you been called to do? 01:06 Understanding where do you fit in, in this life. 01:10 And are you making an impact? So let's welcome Nancy O'Neale. 01:13 How are you doing Nancy? 01:15 I am good, Dr. Kim, how are you? 01:16 Oh, it's so good to see you again. 01:17 You, too. Oh my goodness. 01:19 It's been a wonderful journey these 20 years. 01:22 Almost 20 years knowing each other. 01:23 Yes, almost 20 years. Oh my goodness. 01:25 So listen, you got to bring me up to date. 01:26 Well, tell them how did you meet me. 01:29 How did you meet me? 01:31 I found you on the yellow pages. 01:32 It was after my freshman year of college, 01:35 and I was having a difficult time transitioning 01:38 being away from home. 01:39 And I knew that I needed some guidance, 01:42 so I looked you up and found you 01:44 and we've been glued together, ever since. 01:47 Truly glued, truly glued. Yes. 01:49 You know, you've been doing some new things 01:52 and we'll talk about knowing your purpose, 01:54 and defining your purpose. 01:55 But there's been some tragedies, 01:57 you know, let's talk about some of the things 01:59 that Nancy O'Neale has gone through. 02:01 Let's as well as talk about your educational background 02:03 and what brought you to Michigan. 02:06 My mother is, she is an educator today, 02:09 she's retired now. 02:10 But we moved around several times 02:12 when I was growing up 02:14 because of her profession and career. 02:17 So she received her doctorate in Kentucky. 02:21 I'm from there, we moved to Atlanta, 02:22 she taught at Emory. 02:24 And then she was a chair 02:25 at University of Wisconsin La Crosse, a women's chair. 02:29 And from there, she was a Dean of Liberal Arts at MI State. 02:33 So that's how I got to Michigan. 02:35 I see. Wow. 02:37 And you were born in Seattle, Washington. 02:39 Born in Seattle, Washington. I left there at very early age. 02:42 And I don't remember too much about it. 02:43 Okay, siblings, any siblings? 02:46 I have a brother who is 11 months older, 02:50 sorry, younger than me. 02:51 And I have a sister 02:53 who tragically passed away from cancer 2 years ago. 02:56 Almost it will be 3 years ago this upcoming Good Friday. 03:00 How did that impact your life? 03:02 Um, it was a difficult transition. 03:06 No one in our immediate family has passed away 03:08 from cancer so just the shock 03:10 of getting the news was difficult for our family. 03:15 And once she got the news 03:19 it really helped out with prevention 03:21 because she thought she had a bladder infection. 03:23 Wow. 03:25 And when she went to a gynecologist 03:28 once she got the news. 03:29 So I'm a big advocate of people taking care of themselves 03:33 and giving themselves checked out at least annually 03:35 because of that tragedy in our family. 03:38 See that's a good point, see knowing your purpose 03:40 and understand how do you make it work, 03:42 you have to understand, 03:44 you have to take care of your health. 03:45 Yes. 03:46 You know a lot of women, you know Nancy, 03:48 they don't go to the gynecologist 03:50 on a yearly basis, they don't take a mammogram. 03:54 And as you know if you're over 50s 03:56 you should be having your colostomy. 03:58 But and again these are things 04:00 that we as women should take care of ourselves. 04:03 You know, and we tend to say, 04:05 "Well, I'll put it off, I'll put it off." 04:06 And we tend to take care of everyone else but ourselves. 04:09 And my sister was the epitome of that. 04:11 She was the backbone of our family. 04:14 So my sister is, as you know my mother was an educator, 04:17 my sister graduated from the University of Pennsylvania, 04:19 she was working on her PhD at Wayne State. 04:22 And it was a tragic situation 04:26 but everybody was in front of her. 04:28 Anybody that needed help, you know, to go to school 04:31 she was my backbone too and my support. 04:33 So it was very difficult. 04:38 And with the age gap aside, I grew up with her. 04:40 I don't remember life without her. 04:42 So yeah, it has been a difficult transition 04:46 but you know, we're getting past at it 04:48 and working through it. 04:49 And I just use that situation 04:52 as an opportunity to help other people. 04:55 Well, let's see, you know, today 04:56 we're gonna have a little girl talk. 04:57 We didn't talk about 04:59 the finding our purpose, all right? 05:00 Yes. 05:02 How do you know what your purpose is, Nancy? 05:03 What is your purpose on this earth? 05:06 I believe that my purpose is helping other women 05:09 and motivating and inspiring other women. 05:11 I spent probably at least a good half of my life 05:15 taking care of myself 05:16 and I ended up not being very happy. 05:20 But I found that when I was able to give it myself 05:23 and give to someone else is when I felt really fulfilled. 05:27 And so a lot other things that was so into, 05:30 trying to make myself happy, like my education 05:33 and you know, the modeling 05:35 and some other things that you know about me, 05:37 I still felt like I had a void. 05:39 And the void was that 05:41 I really wasn't on the exact path 05:43 that Jesus wanted me on. 05:45 And because of that I had joy lacking in my life, 05:48 which is another reason somehow I found His will. 05:50 Oh, well, I thank the Lord for leading you to me. 05:53 We'll talk about not having that real joy. 05:57 Were you looking for acceptance because you know, 06:00 were in the competition of Miss Michigan? 06:03 I was. 06:04 What were you looking for 06:05 and what was that experience like? 06:07 I grew up with low self esteem and low self worth. 06:13 And I was looking for people to validate me on the outside. 06:18 All other women in my family 06:19 had been sexually abused or molested. 06:23 My mother was raped when she was 11 years old 06:26 by her step father. 06:28 And my sister was raped by my natural father. 06:35 And so, you know a lot of these tragedies, 06:38 like especially during my teenage years, 06:40 it was just tragedy after tragedy 06:42 just became like the norm. 06:44 And you know, hence I'm a very introvert person. 06:48 Yes, you are. 06:50 So that's how I kind of felt like 06:52 I'll be accepted by society, 06:54 you know, all these accolades that I'll get, 06:57 you know, another degree or a pageant 06:59 or winning this and I like the applause. 07:02 And so I worked very hard to become successful. 07:07 And again still felt empty on the inside. 07:10 And it wasn't until I started giving back to other people 07:14 that I started to feel joy in my life. 07:18 Now you're single? Yes. 07:19 No children? No children yet. 07:21 Not yet. Wanting to be. Do want to get married? 07:24 I do, I do. 07:26 It is a desire of my heart, of course. 07:27 Okay, family. 07:29 What type of family are you looking to have? 07:31 'Cause when you talk about where you have come from 07:34 and the tragedies and the things 07:35 that you've experienced, and the tings that you saw, 07:38 what type of family are you asking God to give you? 07:42 A family that have peace 07:44 and I grew up in an extremely unstable environment, 07:50 so stability is something that is important to me. 07:54 And I just think a man should provide 07:58 and protect for his family. 07:59 I'm not saying that I don't want to work at all 08:01 but I would like to have the option 08:03 of not working if I choose to, 08:06 or not working outside of the home. 08:08 I hope Arthur just heard that. 08:10 Arthur, if you see this broadcast, 08:12 did you hear what Nancy just said? 08:14 Think I should have an option, you know. 08:16 Yes, we need to have an option. 08:17 Yeah. That's it. 08:19 That's what I'm taught at the church that I go to. 08:20 And you know, but I love what I do, 08:21 you know I love what I do. 08:23 I know you love what you do. 08:24 You know, I really enjoy, so he's right there with me. 08:27 Let's talk about the aspects of every time 08:30 I called you or you called me. 08:33 You were starting a new business. 08:35 You were-- Nancy has gone into... 08:39 And this is great though, 08:40 you've got a lot of experiences. 08:42 So let's talk about how you've evolved 08:44 over these years, 20 years that I've known you, all right, 08:47 and the businesses that you've started 08:48 and gone into real estate license. 08:51 Okay, you take me through it. Take us through it. 08:54 I don't know if I'm gonna remember everything I started 08:57 but I started selling candy 08:58 when I was like 9 to 10 years old. 08:59 Is that right? 09:01 Yeah, my dad, he just went to like a Sam's Club 09:03 and just bought me a case of Candy, 09:05 and he was like, you know, "Go for it." 09:06 It seems like I've had the entrepreneurial spirit 09:09 ever since then. 09:11 And I've done a lot of things 09:12 but what I found is that from the path 09:14 that I've been on, God has used 09:15 all those experiences to bring me 09:17 where I am today with this organization. 09:20 So even though my goal was to start a non profit 09:24 with the Women Who Inspire organization, 09:27 non profit is selling a concept, 09:29 and I feel that's what I'm doing, 09:31 you know, motivating and inspiring young women. 09:35 Well, I've been a part of it. 09:36 I was your first speaker, 09:38 just you know, and it was so exciting. 09:41 And being able to see you grow from this 19 year old 09:45 to this woman today, and earning your degree, 09:47 and you've got Bachelors of Science degree, 09:50 Bachelors of Arts in journalism and Masters? 09:53 In Communication. I followed in your footsteps. 09:56 You know, to be a role model. Somebody hand me a tissue. 10:01 You know, 'cause you think about being a mentor 10:03 and being a blessing 'cause I'm very-- 10:05 People call me all the time, "Will you be a mentor?" 10:07 But, to me, but it takes commitment and dedication. 10:11 And I need to see that you're making steps towards that. 10:15 And you have definitely made me proud, 10:17 you know, it was God, it's all God. 10:19 It's all God. 10:20 You know, let's talk about, 10:22 you know, your father a little bit. 10:24 You know, you said that he gave you that, 10:26 took you to Sam's Club, 10:27 bought you that first box of candy to sell. 10:30 Where is dad today in your life? 10:32 I don't know, I have not heard or spoken to my father 10:35 since my parents divorced when I was 16 or 17 years old. 10:39 You have not heard anything from him? 10:41 Have not heard anything, 10:42 he called, my brother was in a tragic near fatal accident 10:47 about a year after my parents divorced. 10:49 And he called my looking for money. 10:52 That's the last time I've heard from my father. 10:54 How do you feel about that? How do you doing? 10:57 Um, I'm recovering. 10:59 I used to be sad every fathers day 11:01 because I was a daddy's little girl. 11:03 But once I found out what my father did to my sister, 11:07 I felt like my whole childhood was a lie. 11:10 And so I have grown to forgive my father, 11:16 and you know I have peace and closure 11:19 whether I hear from him or not. 11:21 But I just have to forgive him and move on. 11:24 You had to forgive. I do. 11:26 And if you don't forgive, what happens to people, Nancy? 11:29 I just, I would've been bitter. 11:31 It would've destroyed me as a person. 11:33 I don't think I would be, had I not forgiven my father 11:36 I wouldn't be the woman that I'm today. 11:38 I don't think that my mother has forgiven him. 11:42 And as a result of that, 11:44 I think it's been detrimental to her health, 11:46 emotionally, physically, mentally. 11:50 But you know, we still have to keep, 11:53 you know, family's really all we have, 11:54 we have to keep our family together. 11:56 So we couldn't let something that happened in our past 11:59 stop us from our future. 12:01 And I think in terms of knowing your purpose, 12:06 one of the reasons why some people 12:07 never find their purpose 12:08 is because they're stuck in their past. 12:11 And you know that Satan has a plan to destroy us 12:14 before we find out what our purpose is 12:16 and I really think that was what his goal 12:18 was with our family. 12:20 But we have to persevere. Yeah. 12:22 And I have had times 12:23 when I wanted just give up and quit 12:25 and God has sent people across my path like you, 12:30 who had just told me, you know, "Just keep going. 12:32 You know, keep doing what you're doing 12:33 and love what you do, and just get out there 12:35 and keep going, keep fighting." 12:36 keep fighting. So that's-- 12:37 I know you've made me feel so good 12:40 when you said that when you saw me 12:42 and it's been a while since we got together, 12:44 just this past week you said I looked the same. 12:46 You did. I just love you. 12:48 Did you hear that? Yes you do look the same. 12:50 Oh, you're so sweet. 12:52 And I recognized you right away, you know. 12:53 That led me know that your self worth, 12:55 your self esteem and the things we were dealing 12:57 with in therapy had come to you know, 13:00 it's fullness had eveolved. 13:03 And I watched you doing the seminar, 13:05 being the coordinator, being the founder. 13:06 I was so proud sitting in the back of the room 13:09 looking at my little Nancy. 13:11 And it brought tears to my eyes, 13:12 it really did, I was just praising God. 13:14 You know, let's talk about real estate. 13:17 Now, you even got your real estate license, 13:20 and insurance license 13:22 and you know, talk to us about this. 13:24 'Cause see, ladies, there's nothing God can't do. 13:26 Don't tie God's hands. 13:27 No, no, not at all. Okay. 13:32 Well, once I graduated from college 13:34 I wanted to be an international journalist. 13:37 And it was the same year 13:43 as the free press and the Detroit news strike. 13:49 And so there literally was not... 13:50 I was a print journalism major 13:53 and there wasn't a whole lot of opportunity in Michigan. 13:55 I wanted to be home with my family at the time 13:58 so I took the-- out of the jobs that I was interviewed for, 14:01 I took the one that I thought was the best fit for me, 14:04 which was at a non-profit organization. 14:06 And one other things that college really 14:10 doesn't prepare you for is inter personal relationships 14:14 in dealing with people that you don't agree with 14:17 or you know, you come from a different backgrounds. 14:19 And so I felt very unprepared in my first job. 14:24 And it really threw me for a curveball 14:26 and I was, you know, I was disappointed, 14:28 I was discouraged 'cause I liked the accolades. 14:31 I didn't feel appreciated. 14:32 I was usually the first person at work 14:33 and last person to leave. 14:35 And I realized you know, the world cannot give you 14:37 the accolades that you're seeking, 14:38 like I said it really comes from the inside. 14:40 That's right. 14:41 And you know, I felt discouraged 14:43 when I wasn't praised for the work that I had done. 14:47 And some times they do, some times they don't 14:48 but you just have to. 14:50 First of all, we work unto the Lord. 14:51 And we're not working for man. That's right. 14:53 And so that was the lesson that, 14:55 that was hard for me to learn. 14:57 So once I left that position, I went back to school 15:00 and I just, you know, I said 15:01 I didn't want to work for somebody again. 15:03 I ended up giving my masters in communications, 15:05 coming out in lo and behold, 15:08 I ended up at another non profit. 15:10 So I kind of went through the same process over 15:12 and I'm like, "That's it. 15:14 I'm not gonna work for anybody else." 15:15 And that's how I ended up by saying 15:17 I want to be a business owner and I went forward 15:21 and obtained my real estate license. 15:22 Wow. You are just amazing. 15:25 Now with the real estate license, 15:28 where are you with that now? 15:29 You know, what are you doing in that field now, 15:31 in the market? 15:33 Yes, I'm no longer practicing real estate. 15:35 I've put my license into escrow. 15:38 And I went into the insurance business after that. 15:41 What do you mean put your license into escrow? 15:42 What does that mean? 15:44 It just means that you're not practicing 15:45 real estate anymore. 15:46 Okay, but it's still valid if you chose to practice? 15:50 Yes, if you continue your education with it, 15:52 you have to take, continue your education classes, 15:55 you can either opt to not to continue with the license. 16:00 Okay, so now, what are you doing? 16:03 Um, at the moment I'm selling insurance full time. 16:06 My goal is to really launch into Women who Inspire 16:10 and be doing that full time shortly. 16:13 Well, it's gonna happen. I agree. 16:15 And I feel like desperately where God wants me. 16:18 You know, in life we go through a path. 16:22 And sometimes you know, 16:23 it's supposed to be a straight path. 16:25 Sometimes we do our own thing and we get off the path. 16:29 But like I said before, 16:30 God can use all those experiences to bring you, 16:33 you know, to first of all, give Him glory 16:35 and bring you to really where you're supposed to be. 16:37 No doubt. 16:38 Now you remember when Arthur, of course, you do 16:40 because you are the one who initiated 16:41 and invited us to come. 16:43 Nancy invited Arthur and I to come 16:45 to Madison, Wisconsin. 16:47 I said, "Where is Madison, Wisconsin? 16:49 And it is cold, all right?" 16:51 It's cold, yes. It's cold. 16:53 And she invited us to be speakers for organization 16:56 that she was again in charge of. 16:59 And she was a little devastated 17:01 because she didn't get the crowd 17:02 that she wanted but I said, 17:04 "No, where two or three gathered, 17:05 Lord in the midst." 17:06 And we went forward and we did that seminar, 17:09 that conference and we had a wonderful time in Madison. 17:13 And it was like a whole another world. 17:16 You know, it's not important to be open, 17:18 to be willing to allow the Lord to plant your feet and places, 17:22 where it may not be as popular, 17:25 you know, or comfortable, all right 17:28 but at the same time 17:29 it's the work of the Lord, "So send I you." 17:31 You know, have those skills 17:34 as I saw there I can answer this question. 17:37 Those same skills have followed you today as a leader 17:40 and your leadership role with individuals. 17:42 Now what are the challenges 17:43 that you're facing being single today 17:45 and being a Christian woman, you know? 17:47 You jump from one to the other but, you know, sometimes, 17:50 you know, when you talk about leadership, 17:51 sometimes those gifts are dormant, 17:53 if we don't use the gifts that God gives us 17:56 and we try to do other things, 17:57 trying to please man or our parents or whoever. 18:02 You know, God doesn't really get glory out of that 18:04 'cause that's not why He created us to be 18:05 and ultimately we are not gonna be happy. 18:07 That's right. 18:08 So I just wanted to piggy-back 18:10 on what you've asked about coming to speak to us. 18:12 There was a young lady there who, shortly after you left, 18:16 maybe one or two months she became pregnant 18:18 and I remember when you came and spoke to just 18:21 this small group of women that attended, 18:24 and you were very graphic in your conversation. 18:26 I don't know if you remember it, 18:28 some of the things that you talk about 18:29 and Arthur was, I thought 18:31 he's gonna fall out of his chair. 18:32 He always falls out when I deal with that sex issue, sex issue. 18:36 Yes, well, I said, you know, 18:39 there's some reason why she's going here. 18:41 I, well, you through me for a loop too 18:42 'cause I wasn't expecting you to go there either. 18:45 But I believe that you really came 18:46 for that one person and she can't say that 18:49 nobody told her 'cause she knew. 18:51 And the reason I tied in with, 18:53 you know, your leadership skills with being single, 18:55 because the of the fact that being single in this time, 19:00 and being a Christian young woman, 19:02 you're an attractive woman very well poised, 19:05 educated, you have your own business. 19:07 The challenges that you face, you know, meeting someone 19:11 and saying that, "Will you remain celibent? 19:14 Will you give in?" 19:15 Yes, you no matter what you're gonna remain celebent? 19:18 Oh, of course. 19:19 You're going to be remained faithful Lord? 19:20 That is not even an option? 19:22 That's not a option. Why is that not an option? 19:23 Because today even with the peer pressure 19:25 of social media, everything we see on television, 19:28 the music, everything, 19:30 you know, it says we are to step out 19:31 and not have to wait for marriage. 19:33 It's okay. Right. 19:34 Have a child before you're married, it is okay. 19:37 You know, we're not judging anyone. 19:38 We're not here to judge. Right, right. 19:39 Well, you have said, 19:41 it is not an option, tell us why. 19:42 It's really not. 19:44 Well, when you have been in a situation 19:47 where you've been sexually abused 19:49 or you've seen a close family as you can, 19:52 as I've already told you has ran rampant through my family, 19:55 so you really ought to just protecting your own heart, 19:59 it's just you know that it's not a good idea. 20:02 And I'm a woman of God. 20:05 I faithfully attend church, and not only that, 20:07 I'm in the public eye so, you know, one of the traps 20:10 that the enemy uses is to see leaders fall 20:14 and I have women that, you know, that I'm a role model 20:19 to just like you're a role model for me 20:21 and you know, what are they gonna do? 20:22 'Cause if they're like, 20:24 "Well, I can do it if Nancy can do it." 20:25 If I fall what's gonna stop them from falling? 20:28 So I do attend. 20:30 I'm a member of a Word church which is very important. 20:33 Okay. 20:34 And I mean, its scriptural and biblical 20:35 that it says to save yourself for you spouse. 20:38 So I'm not going to, you know, be, I, here 20:41 and be a hypocrite, be like, "You know what? 20:43 I can't do it but you need to do what the Bible says." 20:46 So I think the God needs 20:48 men and women in this world today` 20:51 that can say, "You can do this. 20:52 It is possible." 20:54 But I think when, you know, in terms of talking about 20:56 the pressure, the best way to avoid 20:58 that is to be in public places and not even get to that point. 21:02 Don't get to that point where you know, 21:03 your clothes are about to fall off. 21:04 Yeah, right. 21:06 You know, keep your hands to yourself, it is possible. 21:09 I did date a young man at my church. 21:11 We were attending a premarital course, 21:14 I actually did. 21:15 We haven't really caught up too well. 21:17 But we started attending premarital classes 21:19 and he ended the relationship twice and then... 21:22 after that I said, "You know, I have to know my purpose 21:24 and my self worth and I'm not worth getting dumped." 21:28 So we left that. We just left it alone. 21:31 But we still go to the same church. 21:34 So you say you don't have 21:35 to just find yourself in a situation 21:37 where you got to beg and crawl. 21:39 No, no, no. 21:40 It's okay to be in your own space. 21:41 Right, right. And know your purpose. 21:43 Exactly. 21:44 And I say that in my therapy sessions all the time 21:47 Arthur is not responsible for my happiness. 21:51 I am not responsible for his. Right. 21:53 We compliment each other's happiness. 21:55 You have to, yeah. I know my purpose. 21:56 He knows his. Right. 21:58 You know, in the previous program we talked about him. 22:00 He's getting ready to go play golf, Nancy. 22:02 Okay. For a whole week, girl. 22:04 I'm so happy I don't know what to do. 22:06 Well, you see my face, I know I'm-- 22:08 You just lit up. 22:09 I lit up because it's like his whole space, okay. 22:14 You know, and I get a chance to bond with Aaron 22:17 and I'll have my own going to the gym doing whatever. 22:19 Right, right. 22:20 But knowing my purpose as a person, first, 22:24 a child of God, as a person, a wife, 22:27 a mother, a mentor, or friend. 22:29 You know, because all of this is about God's glory. 22:33 It is, and if I don't know my purpose as a single person, 22:37 why would I attach myself to someone else 22:40 and you make a mere mess? 22:41 That's it. 22:43 Again you lose your own identity. 22:44 Yes, you do. 22:45 And this is why so many individuals, 22:47 men and women they don't know you know, 22:49 "How did I get in this situation?" 22:50 Right. 22:52 "What happened to 10 years in my life?" 22:53 Exactly, and I think women especially 22:55 because we want to, you know, 22:56 the Bible talks about us being a help meet. 22:58 But it doesn't say that the woman 23:00 does not have to do anything or have a purpose for herself 23:03 because we look at the Proverbs 31 23:05 woman as an example. 23:07 She was a business woman. Yes. 23:09 She sold in the city and so there's no reason 23:12 why we still can't have our own identity like you've said, 23:15 and still support our husbands as well. 23:17 Right. Our future husbands. 23:18 When you met me I wasn't married, 23:20 I had, oh, yes, I was. 23:23 Yes, you've been married longer than you thought. 23:27 I've been married forever. You were married. 23:30 Yeah. You know. 23:31 Happily married, happily married. 23:32 I'm still happily married. 23:34 You know, did you hear that, Arthur, happily? 23:36 You know, so making it work for us, 23:39 being able to know my purpose, 23:41 and Arthur allows me that opportunity. 23:43 Yes, he does. He's such a good man of God. 23:45 Yes. 23:47 And he has never tried to push me back. 23:49 He has this thing, "Girl, go on 23:51 and make that paycheck, go on and make that paycheck." 23:53 Keep him in a lifestyle he's accustomed to, you know. 23:56 But being able to enjoy and be able to know, 23:59 and he knows his purpose and compliments. 24:02 And so I could bless him. Yes. 24:03 That could be a issue, too when you have a strong woman 24:06 such as yourself, some men are intimidated 24:08 and feel, they can become insecure 24:11 and I think that's been one of my issues as well. 24:14 Some of the men that I've dated, first of all, 24:17 some of the men I've dated I should never have dated 24:18 'cause they didn't put God first. 24:21 They weren't looking to get married, 24:24 and they really didn't care what my purpose was, 24:27 they wanted me to a trophy wife. 24:28 And that's why it didn't work. 24:30 You know, because as you know that's just not my mold. 24:33 No, that is not your mold, you're like whoa... 24:35 So I still would've been unhappy 24:37 and, you know, I'm not saying not to serve your husband 24:40 or be a help me or support for him. 24:43 But I still have to be myself. 24:44 I have to be true to myself 24:45 and I have to have my own identity as well. 24:47 And I'm so glad you're holding on to that identity. 24:50 Well, what's next for Nancy? 24:51 You know, taking, you know, knowing your purpose, 24:54 and inspiring women, would you like to go 24:56 on the lecture circuit, get out there, write a book? 25:00 I have written some books, 25:02 they are related to Biblical prosperity 25:05 and I gave them away. 25:07 But I think right now, 25:08 my goal is to focus on the organization. 25:13 And so I'm really pouring my heart into that. 25:16 And so, you know, I can't say you know, 25:18 exactly when I'm going to get married 25:21 because the Bible says, 25:22 "He who finds a wife finds a good thing." 25:24 So I don't know exactly when that time is coming. 25:27 I feel like as our hope in prayer is coming soon. 25:30 But you know, I believe that God brings 25:33 a wife to a husband just like God brought Eve to Adam 25:38 when the time was right. 25:39 So I think there is a season for everything. 25:41 Well, the Bible says, "God's time, it's not ours." 25:45 No, it's not. His ways, his thoughts. 25:46 That's for sure. 25:47 You know, I have remembered 25:49 when I became pregnant with Aaron, 25:51 and we were at a conference, and were trying to conceive. 25:55 And we were in Toledo, Ohio. And I was the speaker. 25:59 And they said that someone here 26:01 who is trying to conceive and I'm like... 26:04 And he said God's going to open your womb. 26:07 And Arthur was like, "When? When? 26:09 When Lord?" 26:11 And the minister said, "God's time, it's not ours." 26:13 Yes, that's true. 26:14 And 18 and half years later she came forward. 26:17 God will fulfill his promise. Yes, he will. 26:19 If you are faithful to God, God is faithful to you. 26:23 He is not slacked when it comes to His promises. 26:25 That's true. 26:26 But we must hold fast to what He has told us to do 26:29 and not get discouraged. 26:31 And we have to separate ourselves 26:32 from negative influences, negative surroundings, 26:35 and put yourself in an environment like 26:37 the organization Nancy has started, 26:39 women inspiring women and then being able to say 26:43 to yourself, "I am, I do have self worth. 26:45 I value myself." Of course, you have to. 26:48 You know, and 'cause when you value yourself, 26:49 you're not gonna let anyone hit on you. 26:51 Right, right. All right. 26:53 Or abuse you, or misuse you. Or abuse you. 26:55 That's right. 26:56 And that's all abuse is, is just misused. 26:58 All right. 27:00 And sometimes, you know, 27:01 when we don't know our purpose or value ourselves, 27:03 we allow ourselves to be mistreated. 27:06 So I mean, it's just everything. 27:08 You have to know what you're here for, 27:11 and we do need affirmation 27:14 but we don't have to receive it from the... 27:15 I was looking for affirmation from the world, 27:17 we don't have to have it from the world. 27:19 Everything that we need is on the inside of us 27:21 and then God brings people across 27:22 our path like yourself, to affirm us. 27:26 Well, I actually appreciate. 27:27 We're down to our last few minutes 27:29 and I just want to-- That time went by so fast. 27:30 It went so fast. 27:32 We got to do the girl talk again. 27:33 Let's do girl talk again, okay, 27:35 I'm gonna take it up with my producers 27:36 and I think they're gonna like that, all right. 27:38 Well, listen, Nancy, I appreciate you, I love you. 27:41 And I just want to let to know, 27:42 you've got to know your purpose. 27:44 You have to know where you're heading. 27:46 But it has to be with God. It has to be. 27:48 You can't do without God, not as a Christian. 27:50 You cannot, you have to pray, and fast, and seek God's word. 27:54 And you have to, and He will direct you. 27:56 "Trust in the Lord." Amen. 27:58 "And He will direct your path." I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. 28:01 I want to thank Nancy O'Neal for being with us. 28:04 You are welcome, and I love you. 28:05 I love you, too. Continue to "Making It Work." 28:07 God bless. |
Revised 2015-10-05