Participants: Arthur Nowlin (Host), Dr Kim Logan-Nowlin (Host), Terence Standifer, Tenesia Standifer
Series Code: MIW
Program Code: MIW000031
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00:01 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nolin.
00:02 I'm Arthur Nolin. 00:03 And welcome to "Making It Work." 00:36 You know, when I think about letting go, 00:39 I think about turning my situation over to God. 00:42 Arthur, what do you think about? 00:44 Well, basically the same but don't you think 00:46 sometimes that could be a little difficult? 00:49 It's very difficult in most situations. 00:51 It's just not an easy process. 00:53 I mean, I hear a lot of people were saying 00:54 okay, just turn it over, turn it over. 00:57 But depending on the circumstances 01:00 it may not be that easy to turn over 01:02 but that's when we you have to pray. 01:03 Oh, yes. 01:04 And ask the Lord to step in 01:06 and give you the strength to turn it over. 01:07 Letting it go is like really I'm not dealing with this 01:11 in the manner that I had been dealing with it. 01:13 I'm just gonna move on 01:15 and ask God to step in and give me guidance. 01:17 Amen. 01:18 Well, today we're so blessed here on "Making It Work" 01:21 to have a beautiful couple, they have known, 01:23 that we both have know for many, many years 01:25 Yes. 01:26 And we want to welcome them. 01:27 They service the family life leaders of their local church 01:31 the Burns Seventh-day Adventist Church in Detroit, Michigan. 01:34 And they are the parents of two beautiful children 01:38 and we just gonna let them you a story. 01:41 We want to welcome you, Terence and Tenesia Standifer. 01:44 Thank you for joining us today. 01:45 Thank you for having us. Thank you for having us. 01:47 Hi, guys. 01:48 Hi, how are you doing? 01:49 Good. 01:50 So I'm talking, you know, like we normally do. 01:52 Terence, are you still-- 01:53 Oh, no, not, not like we normally know him. 01:56 We're gonna ask a question to you, 01:58 you should know we are talking about letting it go. 02:00 Have you let go of separating the food, 02:02 you know are you still separating on the food? 02:05 Oh, yeah. 02:06 It's not an attachment to me it's-- 02:07 it's part of life. 02:09 It's-- how I breath, 02:11 its-- its who I am. 02:12 Were you raised with that? 02:13 Separating you know the corn here-- 02:15 Explain, wait a minute, wait a minute. 02:16 Oh, you're missing it. Okay. 02:18 Now I understand what it, 02:19 but maybe some of our audience may not. 02:21 Okay, tell us here little history about-- 02:23 You know, you and I one day were talking. 02:25 Okay, we were at your home for a meeting 02:27 and we were talking about the fact 02:30 that I eat one thing at a time 02:32 which is one of my wife's complaint. 02:34 Because she said, you can't-- you're missing out. 02:36 You need to mix the greens with the beans whatever. 02:39 And-- but for me 02:40 I eat one thing at a time 02:42 but I was a guy who grew up with a plate 02:45 that was had separate spots, I didn't want my food to touch, 02:48 so I enjoy eating one thing at a time. 02:52 Which means you have to be a good cook, 02:53 I'm just tasting that one thing so I-- 02:55 So you don't-- so when the corn is gone 02:57 then you go to the greens. 02:59 I eat based upon 03:00 the least favorite to the favorites so that-- 03:02 Wow. 03:03 Best taste is the last thing I take in my mouth. 03:05 That's not-- you didn't 03:06 even share that with us. 03:08 The least favorite to the favorite, that's too deep. 03:11 Okay, so that's a method to the madness? 03:13 That's correct. That's correct. 03:14 Oh, to the taste buds. You never told me that. 03:16 It's just how I work. 03:18 All right, well, listen, we want you all to tell us 03:21 how you have maintained this beautiful marriage 03:25 and letting things go. Tell you testimony. 03:28 Just share with us. 03:29 Wow, letting go. 03:31 How we maintain this wonderful relationship 03:33 or as you say beautiful relationship. 03:35 That is beautiful. We've been married 25 years. 03:38 Twenty five years? 03:40 Twenty five years. 03:41 Yes 25 years, this year on new years eve-- 03:44 So what is that? That's the silver? 03:46 That's the silver anniversary. 03:47 That's the silver. Isn't that beautiful? 03:48 And it's a blessing. 03:50 Yes. 03:52 Terence and I have a unique relationship. 03:55 I am three years older that him, 03:58 and I was told long time ago, 03:59 it will never work. It would never work. 04:03 You know and I had said myself when I was younger 04:06 I don't think I could ever marry anybody younger than me. 04:09 You know, I think I need somebody older than me, 04:11 you know because my dad was so much older than my mom. 04:14 And I believe the reason why I wanted my marriage to work 04:19 so was because I saw that in my parents. 04:22 Yes, beautiful people. 04:23 They were married 57 years. 04:25 Fifty seven years. 04:26 And I said, I'm gonna catch up to that. 04:28 I'm gonna catch up with them. I'm gonna do every thing 04:30 that I need to do to keep my marriage going. 04:34 To make him happy as well as make myself happy. 04:38 That's right. That's right. 04:39 You know and then in doing that at least I think he is happy. 04:43 I think he is. 04:45 He's always smiling in 25 years present. 04:47 But it hasn't been easy. 04:48 It's not easy and I don't want to paint the picture 04:50 that marriage is just this wonderful thing 04:53 and you never argue, 04:55 and you never have disagreements 04:56 but when you can keep God first in your marriage, 05:01 put him first in everything, 05:02 every decision you be on one accord 05:05 which is what we need to be on one accord 05:07 in order to make that marriage work. 05:09 That's good. 05:10 And but you know for being this slightly different 05:12 because I come from a single parent home. 05:17 My Mother raised two sons. 05:18 I have a older brother his name Brian. 05:20 He is in Indianapolis. 05:22 And the marriage thing I was kind of personal, 05:26 I could be married or not be married. 05:28 And so when we met 05:32 the one interesting thing about for both of us 05:35 because we both came out of bad relationship 05:37 so we said, we're gonna take this thing slow. 05:41 And so we did take it slow, we became friends first. 05:45 And so we did eventually get married 05:47 but one of the things that discovered in our marriage 05:50 it was always good but it was always 05:53 something then that was lagging. 05:57 And the thing that was lacking is the fact that 06:01 to be honest I had issues 06:05 with not having a father figure and not seeing relationships, 06:10 good relationships in my life 06:12 and the fact that-- that having that father figure 06:16 I didn't understand how to love. 06:20 So it was a struggle for me to love my own kids, 06:24 it was a struggle for me 06:25 to truly be true to her because, 06:28 its funny in our relationship from time to time 06:31 I would say, you know what, 06:32 I would never let you see everything about me, 06:35 which is kind of crazy 06:37 because she should know everything about me. 06:38 That's right. That's right. 06:39 But I figured that if she's figure this thing about me, 06:42 I'll fit the script and change. 06:43 And if she finds this odd thing about me I'll switch this. 06:46 Because the bottom line is, if she saw the real me 06:50 that at some point in time she would go, 06:54 she would leave 06:55 because there would be something about me. 06:57 that she would reject. 06:58 You had that fear. 06:59 I had that fear, because I've always been rejected. 07:02 And so then, some years ago, 07:05 I'll say eight years ago 07:07 when we became Family Life Leaders 07:09 which was kind of crazy to us because people say, 07:11 "Hey you got a great marriage. You do with your of kids." 07:13 And we kind of like, family life we just us, 07:16 you know, we're kind of messed up behind the scenes, 07:18 everybody know the truth. 07:19 We really want to know the truth. 07:21 But in the end, it's a program that we set in our church 07:26 and we had to administer it and we applied it to ourselves. 07:30 And that's when God began this extreme work on us. 07:34 Looking back on our past and helping us to see 07:37 that the things of your past, 07:40 we let those things control us that binds us 07:44 instead of thinking that we're free, 07:45 we were still captured. We haven't let those things go. 07:48 And that program that you implement 07:50 was with Pastor Edward. 07:51 That's correct. 07:52 Binding the Wounds. 07:53 Binding the Wounds, all right our former 07:56 Family Life directors of the conference 07:58 of the General Conference, put out the flowers you know. 08:02 And so they implemented that program. 08:05 So that really helped you. 08:07 Right and then one of things that God did, 08:10 He said, "Terrance, let Me show you some things, 08:13 through her father, my father-in-law, love Me 08:18 through the times that my kids who have hurt, 08:22 loved Me, without congestion, love Me." 08:27 And then God finally said, 08:28 "Terrance, you want to blame Me," 08:30 because I was blaming God for everything, 08:32 "You want to blame Me for the outcome of your father. 08:35 You want to blame Me for this your life's situation 08:40 but look what you've done to your daughters," 08:41 because I hurt them as well. 08:43 Let me interrupt you for a moment 08:45 because this is lingering with me, 08:48 especially for what you just said in regards to 08:53 the love that you feel from your wife's father, 08:57 and what you feel from your daughters. 09:01 If you had the opportunity, 09:05 do you forgive your father, your biological dad? 09:09 Oh, that's a clincher. 09:12 And would you say that in spite of what is transpired, 09:17 I love you? 09:18 Just like that unconditional love, you just spoke about. 09:22 See, that's the clinching part and I finish it this way. 09:25 The relationship that I've with my father is beautiful 09:28 because God brought us back together, four years ago. 09:32 And it's just amazing, how much that he and I are alike. 09:36 Like the same clothes, we don't eat the same way 09:40 but our characters-- 09:41 Nobody eats like that. Nobody eats like that. 09:44 But our characteristics are so much alike. 09:48 He's my hero, he gives me great counsel, 09:52 I listen to him and we are extremely close. 09:57 Praise God. 09:58 And so because I let him go, 10:00 but the key point of letting him go, 10:02 I didn't throw him away. 10:03 All right. 10:05 I didn't throw him away. 10:06 I just let go they are hurt and pain because God showed me, 10:09 what makes you think you're better that him, 10:11 when you did the same things that he did. 10:14 And that's what God had to show me. 10:16 You didn't throw him away. 10:17 Didn't throw him away. 10:18 But, you know, it appeared 10:20 that may be at some point in that missing 10:24 when he wasn't there, you know, he wasn't there. 10:29 So, in turn by him not being there, 10:32 that was a void that existed, 10:35 you know, in your life 10:37 and where you curious as to why he was not? 10:42 I was always curious. 10:43 I mean, and he came into my life early and, 10:47 but if I'm honest with myself 10:51 as much as I want him to be in my life 10:53 I wasn't prepared to receive him, 10:55 because I hadn't let go of those things that, 10:59 that was nagging at the two of us. 11:02 And the end result, it affected my relationship with my kids, 11:06 it affected my relationship with my wife 11:09 because she needed me to be the whole me 11:12 and I couldn't gibe that to her. 11:14 Tenesia. 11:15 Yes. 11:16 What did you see, you know, 11:18 from him because he said that more than once so far 11:22 that the relationship with you was affected. 11:25 What was missing to honor that relationship? 11:29 It was kind of like-- 11:32 I guess I could put it this way. 11:34 Me growing up and having my dad 11:38 and him exemplifying the proper type of male figure 11:44 that a female needs in her life to complete her, 11:47 this is what I was missing in that relationship with him. 11:51 It's not that I was trying to make him dad, 11:53 it was that I just needed that part 11:56 in that relationship 11:58 because it was kind of like okay, 12:00 now I've moved away from my mom or my dad 12:02 and now I'm in my own relationship 12:05 and I need to have that same type of relationship 12:07 with my husband that I saw that my mom and dad had 12:11 and I wasn't getting that. 12:13 So it was kind of like, I loved him and I knew 12:16 that there was that void in his life 12:18 and there was nothing I could do 12:20 to fill it for him you know. 12:23 So it was, it was difficult, 12:26 it was kind of hard but-- 12:28 And what were you saying with you girls, 12:29 especially having daughters? 12:31 With my girls, I was worried at first, 12:35 you know, because that's his will, 12:36 you know, and I understand the dynamics 12:38 that happens between a daughter, 12:41 when it's a healthy relationship between 12:43 a daughter and father and how they needed 12:45 their dad to be there at those crucial times in their life. 12:49 You know, well, they needed daddy to explain 12:52 and show them what a young lady should be. 12:55 And some things he did do and then there were some things 12:59 he just did not know how to do. 13:01 And so that's when I had to, 13:02 you know, kind of improvise a little bit. 13:04 And I didn't want to takeover his role as being dad, 13:08 but it was just that lacking and I noticed in them, 13:12 it was a little bit a strain for them as well. 13:16 I guess I could put it that way. 13:17 You know, and your girls are how close in age? 13:19 They are seventeen and half months apart. 13:21 So they don't right there together. 13:23 They ride together. 13:25 So let's talk about 13:26 the communication during this process. 13:28 I mean like you said there is no perfect relationship-- 13:30 Not perfect marriage you know. 13:32 Did the children see a certain behavior 13:35 in their father, because you still had your 13:38 brother and your father-- Yes. 13:40 You know, as a support system. Yes. 13:42 You know, so when they would be around their dad 13:45 and your father and your brother would be around 13:47 what are the dynamics? 13:49 The dynamics were good. 13:50 It was just that, because he didn't know how to receive 13:54 their love because he was so used to rejection like he said. 13:56 A lot of times when the girls, he would come home from work 13:59 and you know kids are happy. 14:00 Oh Daddy's home. 14:02 They would run to him 14:03 and they want to jump in his lap. 14:05 And he would just kind of like stop them. 14:07 And then he would pull them towards him, 14:09 because I got to get ready to receive that 14:12 because I'm not used to that. 14:14 I wasn't shown that as a child growing up. 14:17 So now I've got to condition myself, these are my daughters. 14:20 I did birth them and I love them 14:22 but I've to learn how to receive that. 14:25 And now when you see your girls, you know, 14:27 do you embrace them? How is it now? 14:29 Now, it is totally 360, because one of the things, 14:34 because one things that I did was, 14:36 when God brought it to my attention, 14:38 He freed me of these things that were plaguing me. 14:42 I went back to them and I apologized 14:44 for every single thing that I did wrong. 14:47 It helped into explain. 14:49 And I help to explain, this is the reason why. 14:52 And I let them understand. 14:54 Look, it is not my father's fault 14:59 because I don't understand the choices, 15:00 I understand the things that influenced his life. 15:02 So I don't blame my father for anything. 15:05 And I helped them to understand that, 15:08 if I fix this now with you, 15:11 your relationships when it comes-- 15:13 when it comes times for you to be in relationship, 15:15 you be prepared to receive them. 15:17 Because now that hurt 15:19 that I've cost you is now be able to go away 15:21 because I've made it right with you. 15:23 And so, so now, my daughters can come to me 15:26 for any and everything and, 15:29 it's just surprise of some of the things 15:30 they come to me with. 15:32 I mean like, one time my oldest one came to me like, 15:34 "Hey, you know what dad, me and my boyfriend," 15:37 at that time she was in high school, 15:39 "We had the sex talk." 15:41 And so typical the typical parent would say, 15:44 "Wow, I know your decisions-- it's not going to happen." 15:47 But instead I said, "Really, so what you've decided?" 15:51 I wanted to hear what her decision was, 15:53 because ultimately she's gonna be affected by the choice. 15:55 Sure. Sure. 15:56 And so, and so they are free to discuss with me 15:59 about any and everything 16:01 and there are sometimes, we still bump heads. 16:03 When I'm and when I'm wrong I say, 16:04 "Hey, you know what, I'm sorry for wronging you," 16:06 because now I understand 16:09 the love that we need to exhibit 16:11 because I'm the first insight of God to them. 16:14 That's right. 16:15 And so, if I show a bad reflection of God to them, 16:19 then there attitude towards God is going to be what? 16:22 Negative. 16:23 And so for me, it is important that I exhibit 16:27 the insight of how God has loved me. 16:29 I exhibit it onto them 16:31 because we influence, we affect one another. 16:33 Oh yeah. 16:34 You know the Bible says that we win our spouses 16:36 through our character, but it is also our children 16:40 how we, you know, like you said, 16:41 what we exhibit, in front of our children, 16:43 God' going to hold us accountable. 16:44 Absolutely. 16:45 And it's so crucial 16:47 the dynamics they see in the household. 16:49 And again there are no perfect marriage, 16:51 no perfect relationships 16:52 but what God wants us to do 16:54 is empower ourselves with the Word of God 16:57 and to have a mindset like His. 16:59 By beholding we become what? 17:01 Change, you know. 17:03 how did your wife empower you? 17:07 You know I saw you all yesterday in a program 17:10 and giving your testimony and you know, 17:12 as you sit here together, I mean, this is real. 17:14 What you see is what you get, all right. 17:17 You know and, and Brother Terence speaks his mind, 17:21 I'm telling you. 17:22 But how did she help to empower you, 17:25 because she didn't push you away, she didn't reject you. 17:28 You know how did, 17:29 because at the same time she was hurting. 17:31 And but she was still trying pull you. 17:33 How did, how did you see her balance all this? 17:36 Well, the best thing about my wife-- 17:39 Even before, even before she became my wife, 17:42 she always let me be me. 17:44 Yes. 17:45 No matter how great it was or how messy it was 17:49 because at times it was messy 17:51 but she just allowed me to be me. 17:54 And that was a great thing because, 17:59 when I was at my worst point 18:01 and this is before we've even got married, 18:04 she struck by me and I said, "This is what I needed." 18:07 And the best thing about it too is that, 18:09 she didn't let me wallow, 18:10 because at one point of time she said, "Look, Terence, 18:13 I like you, I love you, you're a great guy, 18:15 but you know, you are gonna stay in depressive state 18:17 I got to go." 18:18 Got to go. I got to let this go. 18:19 So let it go. Let it go. 18:22 So, then when she said that's when, 18:24 I need to pull myself about my bootstraps, and get up 18:27 because I'm about to lose this. 18:28 Now this was before you got married? 18:30 That's right. 18:31 Just before we got married. Just before we got married. 18:33 But she is always been in my corner, 18:35 I mean and sometimes she dishes out tough love 18:38 and tell me things that I need to hear. 18:40 But I appreciate that. 18:41 But you recognized that before you got married? 18:45 I did. I did. 18:46 And you knew it was going to be a problem for you? 18:48 It was. 18:50 Because you come from such a loving family. 18:52 I do, and it was my brother 18:57 and my father both taught me, literally taught me 19:02 what type of man that I needed in my life. 19:04 And I have to say that that have to come from God, 19:07 because I prayed for this man. 19:10 I prayed and I got that answer. 19:12 And you know when I was a kid I used to think that, 19:15 miracles only happen for adults, you know. 19:18 We can pray and we oh, as kids we might believe that 19:22 and you know but I saw it through adults. 19:24 And I said I', gonna give God a try. 19:27 And I was ready for my mate and I prayed. 19:30 I told God, "I want a sign." 19:32 And this is what I wanted to be. 19:34 And I went in my closet so Satan wouldn't hear, 19:39 you know, because I didn't want him to get involved. 19:42 No way, I was in my prayer closet. 19:45 And I prayed and I told God 19:46 and I was specific and I was serious. 19:47 I said, "I'm ready to get married and I like him," 19:50 and I said, "and this is what I need from you, God." 19:53 And He gave me that answer. 19:55 So I knew this was my spouse for life. 19:57 For life. For life. 19:59 But I think, I think, 20:01 what I get out of this is the fact that, 20:04 you became proactive. 20:06 Yes, I do. 20:07 You know, you recognize a situation 20:09 that may have caused some barriers in your relationship 20:16 and you addressed them instead of letting them linger on. 20:19 Right. 20:20 I didn't want to start a relationship 20:24 in a depressive state because-- 20:26 I mean, that's what he was. 20:27 And, you know, I have always been 20:29 a happy go lucky person, I'm always smiling, 20:31 I've got something to laugh about. 20:32 And it was bringing me down, and I could not, 20:35 I could not do that. 20:37 And I didn't want him to be down. 20:38 Yes. 20:39 And this was someone that I was truly interested in 20:42 and I not only wanted to help me 20:44 but I really wanted to help him. 20:45 And I needed to see that this was a flag 20:49 that needed to be addressed now. 20:51 Now. 20:52 You know, not too long ago you went through something 20:56 and letting it go but how do you let go 20:59 of losing your father, 21:01 someone who was such a giant hero in your life? 21:04 Yes, he was. 21:05 Let's talk about that. You know Brother Fuller. 21:07 Brother Fuller. Hopper. 21:09 Hopper Fuller. 21:10 Sharpest man in Burns. 21:11 That is the way it is. 21:13 Wear suit and ties and those hats. 21:16 Yes. 21:17 My dad, he is still my hero. 21:19 I know he is resting and waiting for Jesus. 21:26 But I learned to let the idea of him 21:30 not being physically present with me 21:32 go probably after a year after his death, 21:36 because I didn't know how to do this. 21:40 And every day I was on my knees and I was like, 21:42 "Lord, I don't know how to do this." 21:43 You know this was somebody that I depended on, 21:46 this was somebody that I loved, 21:48 I truly loved unconditionally and what am 21:50 I going to do without this man in my life? 21:53 And I'm not saying that I wanted to put him above God 21:56 because I couldn't, but it was just that 21:59 my earthly father was gone. 22:01 Yes. 22:02 I couldn't touch him no more, 22:03 I couldn't love him no more physically. 22:05 You know, how was I gonna do this, God? 22:08 In each and every single day the hurt just 22:12 seemed to dissipate, just slowly but surely 22:16 and it was the work of the Lord. 22:18 It had to be, because you know I think back about 22:22 that time and how that whole year, 22:24 I lost 40 pounds of weight. 22:25 I remember. 22:26 I lost 40 pounds. 22:27 I walked every single day outside. 22:31 And every single day that I was out there, 22:33 I communed with God. 22:34 I prayed and I talked to Him. 22:36 And I just enjoyed being in nature with Him 22:39 as He helped me through that process 22:42 of learning how to let go, 22:44 you know, physically but not mentally. 22:47 I have daddy here all day and all night. 22:49 I could think and laugh about things that we did. 22:52 You know it was just, it was good and it was a good 22:55 father and daughter relationship and I think 22:57 that's what made it so hard. 22:58 And you were the youngest. 23:00 And I was the baby. 23:01 And, you know, when daddy was towards the end he-- 23:06 I was talking in his ear and I told him and I said, 23:08 "Do you know who I am?" 23:10 and he said, "You're my baby, my baby, 23:12 my baby." You know, and then that stayed in my mind. 23:15 And, you know, and that gave me comfort as well. 23:18 So it was little things like that that the Lord 23:20 let me see, this is how you let go, physically, 23:24 but you'll always have him here and here 23:28 and in my heart. 23:29 Oh, that's so beautiful. 23:31 And seriously going through that process I mean, 23:34 how did you see yourself 23:36 being a support system for her? 23:38 Well, you know when she lost her father, 23:41 I kind of felt like I lost my second dad. 23:45 Because he was there with-- 23:47 there for me in a lot of those empty years. 23:50 And-- but because I was in the better position now 23:56 all I needed to do is that she needs 23:58 someone to talk to, be there for her. 24:01 If needs to have someone yell at, 24:04 hey, I'm your son on the breast. 24:06 I would borrow her shoulders. 24:07 Whatever you need me to lift, move, 24:09 what have you is to be there for her. 24:12 And so, and so there's times where I'd sit next to her 24:16 just let her cry, cry on my shoulders. 24:18 There're the times we walk together, and she, 24:21 and she discuss, you know, I remember this story 24:23 about my dad, I remember that story 24:25 about my dad but the best part is because we have always, 24:28 we've been through a lot of things together. 24:30 I was there to say hey, I remember that same story 24:33 and how your dad had me to chop up the sidewalks 24:36 with him and how he helped me change out 24:38 the transmission in my car, in the code, in North Carolina. 24:41 So we were able to share the stories together. 24:45 And so and so-- whatever she needed me to be 24:49 I was there for her. 24:50 So it was a lot easier because now I'm able to love, 24:53 give love freely. 24:55 How do you spend your time together? 24:59 You know, what do you do together to enjoy one another? 25:03 How about you tell that story? 25:06 How about you tell that story about Columbus? 25:10 Couple years ago, what, might have been three now, 25:13 you know, the "Just Claim It" that we usually have. 25:15 Yes. 25:16 We're invited to be the guests at "Just Claim It" 25:18 and I think it's Dr. Black? 25:22 Dr. Black. James Black. 25:25 We had gotten his book and we like intimacy 25:31 and the intimate moment with Terence is just riding along 25:35 in the car on our way to find something to eat that day. 25:39 And I want to read the book. 25:41 I mean, just simplicity is best in some cases. 25:46 And I just felt like that was the most romantic moment, 25:50 I'm sharing this book about Dr. Black's story 25:55 and it was so good and, you know, we-- 25:59 I mean, just reading and we're driving along 26:01 and we were looking and it was beautiful weather 26:03 and it was just it was so real. 26:05 It was, it was absolutely-- 26:07 Like even, even this, even early this morning 26:10 we were supposed to have parenting group at our church, 26:12 but it got cancelled. 26:14 And so, and so, we're just out in the street 26:17 and so we stop by as to pick up a few items. 26:21 We had some breakfast with us, 26:23 so we two decided is to take a drive in our area, 26:26 we went to the beach, stayed in the car of course, 26:29 because it's too cold to be outside. 26:31 But we are at the beach, inside the car, 26:33 we were looking out of the water 26:34 and the birds and we are just enjoying one other's company. 26:37 One of the things that we discovered 26:39 about our marriage now, 26:40 the importance of intimacy and its not always physically 26:45 because the physical goes away after a while-- 26:47 Oh, yes. Yes, it does. 26:49 But the thing is to spend every moment with each other 26:52 and enjoying one another's company. 26:55 Hearing her thoughts, hearing her view points 26:57 and sometimes it may or may not agree 27:00 or be in line with viewers, 27:01 but the fact is that I have this woman 27:05 and I can experience the whole Tenesia. 27:08 Her-- what she has to offer me, 27:11 not what I want her to offer me, 27:12 but what she has to offer me and I cherish that above all. 27:17 You know what listen, I can give, 27:18 we got our last 42 seconds. 27:20 I just want to say that intimacy being into me 27:24 and letting things go, will help enhance that. 27:29 Give us a closing mark, in this last you know, 27:32 15 seconds, you know, to help folk let it go. 27:37 Letting go is letting God first and foremost 27:40 and you have to have the understanding 27:44 that it's gonna be all right. 27:46 It's gonna be all right to let go. 27:48 And it gives you freedom. 27:49 And the freedom, freedom-- 27:50 Gives you freedom. 27:52 I like that freedom. 27:53 Well, listen Arthur, I want freedom every day, amen, 27:56 into me. 27:57 Listen, I love you, guys. Love you too. 28:00 Love you so much. 28:01 Listen, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. 28:03 I'm Arthur Nowlin. 28:04 And let's continue to "Let It Go" 28:06 through "Making It Work." 28:07 God bless you. |
Revised 2015-05-11