Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
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And I'm Arthur Nowlin.
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And Welcome to "Making it Work."
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You know,
Arthur, the Bible says,
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in Psalms 119:133
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"Order my steps in the Lord."
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Order my steps in the Lord.
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And you know, I love that song,
I played all the time in home.
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Yes.
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And when you think
about God ordering your steps,
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what does that mean to you?
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Keep me aligned
with His favorite.
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All right.
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You know, help me
to maintain my focus.
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Yes.
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You know, most
important He directing my path.
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Directing your path.
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And some of you
today may be in a situation
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where you don't know how
God is ordering your steps.
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You don't hear from God,
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you don't know
what direction to take.
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But God's way is very clear
and when He closes one door,
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He open up a
window. That's excellent.
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And pour you out of blessing
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you will have room
enough to receive it.
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Well, today,
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we are blessed to have a
very special guest with us,
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who God is ordering
her steps, Daicia Smith.
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Welcome to "Making
It work." Yes, welcome.
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Thank you. Thank
you. How're you doing?
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I'm doing well,
I'm happy to be here.
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Good you're just dynamic.
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I'm so excited.
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You really? You kind of beaming.
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Yeah.
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Good, good, good.
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Well, listen,
well, we're gonna just--
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just turn it over to you
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because and then we will come in
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and ask some questions.
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But tell us how God
has ordered your steps?
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Take us back and how God
has brought you to this point?
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Okay, I'm going to try
to give you the heritage
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for the sake of time,
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but basically I was
born and raised Adventist,
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however my parents divorced
when I was really young.
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And my father was not Adventist.
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In the beginning I--
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We were really
active in the church
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and I attended
Christian education
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from pre-school
through sixth grade.
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But during that time
there were a lot of challenges,
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my mom had challenges
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because she was
going through things
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with my father and you know,
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she was trying to
raise my sister and I
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by herself and it became--
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It just became a lot I believe.
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And she tried to
maintain structure
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and keep us focused.
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And I think when I
was going to seventh grade
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I was about 12,
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I had a little bit
complex in the school
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because I'm little boyish dress,
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so that's to say the
least, and very opinionative.
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So sometimes
that can come across
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a little strong to others.
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Okay, all right.
But you know that?
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I do, I have
become very self aware.
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Okay.
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And so at that time I said,
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I don't want to be
with these Adventist people
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and I want to go
to a public school
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and my mom allowed me to.
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I think she was
just like I know,
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I'll just do it.
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I'll just try to make her happy.
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Okay.
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And I did, and
that's where I had been
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trying to go a certain direction
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and that this is
how your life should go.
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It should
progress you got to school,
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you graduate, you go to college,
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but take it
hopefully at Adventist collage,
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that was what the
path my mom had kind of
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tried to lay
the groundwork for--
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From K through sixth grade.
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However my life is
a good different path.
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And when I was 12
and enter a public school
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it was very different for me.
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That was a time I
believe now that between
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12 and 13 children really--
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They can go either way.
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You can go on what you know,
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what you been taught
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or you can be
introduce to something else.
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And I was
introduced to other things
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and that lead me
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into a very
different path of substances,
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smoking, drinking,
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sex just
anything you could name,
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the faith in my body
just anything you could name.
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And then while I
was in high school
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I met a guy
thought I was in love,
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it was just great, I
thought it was great.
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Again going
against my mom's wishes
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and at that time I was
able to drive a little bit,
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so I--
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I was at that time
where she would say,
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well, you don't have
to go to Sabbath school
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if you don't want to.
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So of course I just didn't
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and I just got
into this relationship.
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I thought it was
wonderful, it was very abusive.
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I thought it was great
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because I thought he loved
me more than anything else,
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but it was very abusive.
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He started controlling me,
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didn't want me to
be around my family,
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said a lot of things.
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You're still in high
school during this time?
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Yes, I was in high school.
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And so during this,
this is a lot of things
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so I ended up just
from being in that crowd
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and that scene
I got into a fight
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and was suspended from school.
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And well,
indefinitely to school.
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You were terminated?
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Yes, they then said,
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maybe we can
try again next year.
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And so I said,
well, I don't want to--
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You know, miss school but--
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But I just I
didn't know what do?
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So I just didn't go to
school for little bit snuck
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and ain't go to school.
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My mom didn't know.
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She didn't
know? She didn't know.
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So I would get up everyday
like I was going to school,
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but I wasn't.
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And make a just--
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I'm trying to make it better.
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You are okay, go ahead.
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But, yes.
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I hid a lot of
things from my mom
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and I think it was
because she was working a lot
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and trying to provide
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and it was very easy for
me to just kind of pretend
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one way at home,
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but as soon as I
walked out of the door
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I was going in my own directions
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and doing what I wanted to do
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or what I
thought I wanted to do.
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And so I was really
afraid, I wasn't gonna graduate.
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When my mom found
out that I was suspended
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because she ended
popped up at the school
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because she was a good mom.
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So she came.
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So she would just come
and periodically check in,
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you know, so she came in
and they told her she doesn't--
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I didn't go there anymore.
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Oh, my, Lord.
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So she found me,
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and that was not a
good day to say the least.
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But she had--
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She said, she just
couldn't do it anymore.
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So she tries to
get me to my father
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and my father
couldn't do it either,
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he hadn't been in my
life, I was 16 at the time,
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he hadn't been in my life.
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It was very
difficult for him to try to
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just step in and be a father.
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But did you go there and
you are spending your time?
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No. Okay.
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No contact at all?
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No, not from when I was
like four until I was 16.
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I may have seen him five
times in that whole time.
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And then when I was
16 she knew where he was,
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so she dropped me off
with him and that didn't work.
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So he dropped me off at
the bus station and said,
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I can't-- I can't do it.
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So I got on the bus came--
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went back to Ypsilanti,
he was in Battle Creek.
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Came back to Ypsilanti
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and as just started
be with my boyfriend
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and was basically homeless for--
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From then and for about a year.
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You were homeless.
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Homeless, not
basically, literally homeless.
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Stand from friend to friend--
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Because your mom
didn't want you back in house?
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I didn't know how to
go back to mom and I had--
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And she had told
me if this is the life
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you're gonna live you can't--
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Come back here? Live here--
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You can't do it here.
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So I kind of just said,
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I probably could
have gone back home,
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I don't know, I didn't ask.
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You never ask.
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I just continued to
do what I wanted to do.
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Then when it got
really hard I did go back home
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and asked her
can I come back home?
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And she allowed me to--
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When you said
things got hard, the abuse?
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The abuse be it-- I
was literally in a--
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In a place that
didn't have any water,
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light, gas, it was cold,
he was just to be a ridicules,
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I still stayed with him,
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but at that moment I was
tired and I wanted to go home.
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And I wanted to be
at home with my mom.
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And but then once I got
comfortable again at home,
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I said, I was just keep--
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You and he was
still in the background
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kind of in my years life--
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So when you got
comfortable you would,
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you would get an
urge and run-- runaway?
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Runaway back.
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Were you still
doing the drugs, alcohol?
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You still doing all
that lifestyle, you know--
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So how old were you
at this point at this--
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Seventeen.
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Did you finish high school?
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I did finish high school on time
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by the grace of
God because it's--
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It's funny because I think
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I had a
foundation that was built,
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so I had some sense to
say, okay, this isn't right,
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I had to find a school.
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So I went to
alternative school for year
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and then when I went back home,
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my mom got me back
into my regular high school.
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I see. So that could graduate.
00:09:03.66\00:09:04.96
So I did graduate
on time. Praise God.
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Okay, now you at a point
now you're back and forth,
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he still in your
ear having this control,
00:09:11.92\00:09:14.41
you are at home
with mom and now what?
00:09:14.44\00:09:16.49
And then I was
preparing to go to college.
00:09:16.52\00:09:18.82
Okay.
00:09:18.85\00:09:19.88
And I found out I was pregnant.
00:09:19.91\00:09:22.97
So you're 17
and you're pregnant.
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Seventeen and I'm pregnant
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and ready to move into the dorm.
00:09:26.27\00:09:28.04
And in this--
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This young man who was
abusive was the father?
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Yes. Okay.
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And so at that point
and then again my mom said,
00:09:32.34\00:09:36.23
I can't-- I can't do this.
00:09:36.26\00:09:38.49
My grandparents say,
we can't do it either,
00:09:38.52\00:09:41.60
we can do a little bit
but we really can't do it.
00:09:41.63\00:09:45.38
So they did help
move into my dorm.
00:09:45.41\00:09:47.96
How long were you
been? It's kind of funny.
00:09:48.71\00:09:51.05
Some-- About a
semester, but it was--
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I mean, as you can
imagine being pregnant,
00:09:53.59\00:09:55.86
being alone,
00:09:55.89\00:09:57.61
but with him and he
will come to my dorm
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and just beat--
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I tried to leave
him because had hit me
00:10:01.05\00:10:03.28
while I was pregnant and
that was when I was like,
00:10:03.31\00:10:07.80
okay, I don't know how
long this is gonna work,
00:10:07.83\00:10:10.29
but I still stay
because I didn't--
00:10:10.32\00:10:12.35
I didn't feel
like I had a choice.
00:10:12.38\00:10:13.80
I was 17,
00:10:13.83\00:10:15.11
I couldn't get an
apartment because I wasn't 18.
00:10:15.14\00:10:18.08
I couldn't--
00:10:18.11\00:10:19.24
They wouldn't let
me a family housing yet
00:10:19.27\00:10:21.17
because they didn't have
any space and I wasn't 18.
00:10:21.20\00:10:23.66
Where were you going to school?
00:10:23.69\00:10:25.06
East Elementary School. Okay.
00:10:25.09\00:10:27.31
And so I just--
00:10:27.34\00:10:28.45
One day, I just
picked up and just walk,
00:10:28.48\00:10:31.39
left out of campus.
00:10:31.42\00:10:32.46
I left all my stuff there.
00:10:32.49\00:10:33.70
And just walked away?
And I just walked away.
00:10:33.73\00:10:35.23
And that's because I felt like
00:10:35.26\00:10:36.31
I had to figure
out what to do for my--
00:10:36.34\00:10:38.57
For my child before he was born.
00:10:38.60\00:10:41.70
And so he said,
he would you know,
00:10:41.73\00:10:43.57
try to help me
get a place finally.
00:10:43.60\00:10:46.86
He said that. But he
didn't really help me.
00:10:46.89\00:10:49.63
He made me think
he was helping me,
00:10:49.66\00:10:51.00
but he wasn't really helping me.
00:10:51.03\00:10:52.50
I was doing it on my own
00:10:52.53\00:10:53.83
but he was just acting
like he was a person that do it.
00:10:53.86\00:10:57.09
And so at the end
of getting apartment
00:10:57.12\00:11:00.41
when I turn 18,
00:11:00.44\00:11:02.05
I gotten an
apartment and subsides housing.
00:11:02.08\00:11:05.03
And obviously I had
dropped out of school,
00:11:05.06\00:11:07.69
had my daughter, went
through a lot of abuse--
00:11:07.72\00:11:10.70
A lot of abuse.
00:11:10.73\00:11:11.80
One particular
time which was the worse
00:11:11.83\00:11:16.20
and when I said I
couldn't do it anymore.
00:11:16.23\00:11:18.60
That was a wake up call.
That was my wake up call.
00:11:18.63\00:11:20.45
I had surgery for
my gallbladder and he--
00:11:20.48\00:11:25.12
When I came back from surgery,
00:11:25.15\00:11:26.21
I had staples in my stomach
00:11:26.24\00:11:27.33
and I had a feeding
tube in my arm and he said,
00:11:27.36\00:11:30.82
he was gonna kill me.
00:11:30.85\00:11:31.88
Let-- Just let out.
00:11:31.91\00:11:34.16
First he whip me,
00:11:34.19\00:11:35.58
he said he was
gonna whip me with a belt
00:11:35.61\00:11:37.51
and it was so hard,
when I left the house,
00:11:37.54\00:11:40.90
I had to leave
my baby in the house
00:11:40.93\00:11:42.54
and I left with no cloths on.
00:11:42.57\00:11:45.30
And that's was when I just--
00:11:45.33\00:11:46.74
I just couldn't--
00:11:46.77\00:11:48.25
I just couldn't do it anymore.
00:11:48.28\00:11:49.92
So at last and
that was kind of--
00:11:49.95\00:11:52.14
That was when I
was just earning,
00:11:52.17\00:11:55.07
again trying
straight up the story.
00:11:55.10\00:11:56.69
It's all right.
00:11:56.72\00:11:57.75
But at that point I
did felt like okay I have--
00:11:57.78\00:12:01.44
I have to go to my mom
00:12:01.47\00:12:02.53
and again and they were
there for me through that.
00:12:02.56\00:12:06.63
I ended up moving--
00:12:06.66\00:12:08.75
I ended up
going to jail one day.
00:12:08.78\00:12:11.04
What took you to jail?
00:12:11.07\00:12:13.61
Because I-- Not being out the--
00:12:13.64\00:12:14.78
But I said I was in
but it really wasn't in
00:12:14.81\00:12:18.60
and because I can't say
you had but I was doing.
00:12:18.63\00:12:20.73
In my mind I knew I was done.
00:12:20.76\00:12:22.28
With him? With him.
00:12:22.31\00:12:23.34
I said I was done
00:12:23.37\00:12:24.40
but it wasn't that
easy to get him out.
00:12:24.43\00:12:26.80
So while we were going
through court process and things
00:12:26.83\00:12:28.92
he just wouldn't leave.
00:12:28.95\00:12:30.60
So we ended up getting into
another physical altercation
00:12:30.63\00:12:34.53
and when the police
came I was viewed at--
00:12:34.56\00:12:39.24
Because I was defending myself
00:12:39.27\00:12:41.36
I was viewed as a
aggressor and I went to jail.
00:12:41.39\00:12:44.77
They arrested
you? They arrested me.
00:12:44.80\00:12:46.96
So that's the
problem with these laws.
00:12:46.99\00:12:48.44
The person who
has the most marks
00:12:48.47\00:12:50.26
or whatever tend end up
being the one to say well,
00:12:50.29\00:12:53.55
she did this to me.
00:12:53.58\00:12:54.61
Was the place where you
stay was still in your name?
00:12:54.64\00:12:57.53
Yes.
00:12:57.56\00:12:58.60
And yet they took you to jail
00:12:58.63\00:13:00.82
because he was not
on the lease or the--
00:13:00.85\00:13:03.88
But they knew that
he lived there so they--
00:13:03.91\00:13:07.30
It was recently at
the other situation
00:13:07.33\00:13:10.07
but the police
said they just had to,
00:13:10.10\00:13:12.08
they had to make
arrest and take me.
00:13:12.11\00:13:13.85
They had to take
one person to jail?
00:13:13.88\00:13:15.49
Yeah. But it was
a blessing though.
00:13:15.52\00:13:16.99
It was a blessing
because I went to jail
00:13:17.02\00:13:18.93
and I met a girl who was abu--
00:13:18.96\00:13:22.89
Who addicted to crack I believe
00:13:22.92\00:13:26.99
and I watched her going through
these drugs and I did not,
00:13:27.02\00:13:31.24
I never knew that I
was as bad of as I was.
00:13:31.27\00:13:33.87
I thought I was still okay
because I was better than--
00:13:33.90\00:13:36.76
You know, I just addicted
still at the place that I was.
00:13:36.79\00:13:40.05
And when I saw that young
lady we were of the same age
00:13:40.08\00:13:43.73
and I was only like
20 then and I'm like,
00:13:43.76\00:13:46.70
that could be me.
00:13:46.73\00:13:48.12
Like surely that could be me
00:13:48.15\00:13:49.34
and she was going
to prison for murder.
00:13:49.37\00:13:51.56
And I'm like, if I don't
stop that's going to be me.
00:13:51.59\00:13:55.66
And I called my mom
and I said mom, I'm done.
00:13:55.69\00:13:59.60
I have to do something different
00:13:59.63\00:14:00.94
and I wanted to go
to back to college.
00:14:00.97\00:14:02.82
So I went back to college
but and I went through college
00:14:02.85\00:14:05.50
and I got my masters degree
00:14:05.53\00:14:07.14
and I still
would dibble and dabble
00:14:07.17\00:14:09.63
in different things
00:14:09.66\00:14:10.69
but because I was doing a
little bit on the right path
00:14:10.72\00:14:13.39
like I was walking on two roads,
00:14:13.42\00:14:14.87
I guess I would say.
00:14:14.90\00:14:16.16
I was on two roads,
00:14:16.19\00:14:17.26
on one way I was
doing all these things
00:14:17.29\00:14:18.89
I was supposed to
do but I really wasn't,
00:14:18.92\00:14:22.57
really wasn't
committed to be in a--
00:14:22.60\00:14:24.92
Be in a different person.
00:14:24.95\00:14:26.47
And recently I decided I
said, there is something,
00:14:26.50\00:14:29.11
there is something missing.
00:14:29.14\00:14:31.67
I have everything,
you know, I have a house,
00:14:31.70\00:14:33.39
I have a car and my daughter.
00:14:33.42\00:14:35.08
I kept my daughter in
church even when I didn't go,
00:14:35.11\00:14:37.77
I never went but I was in her.
00:14:37.80\00:14:40.56
And I said, well, what is wrong?
00:14:40.59\00:14:42.81
And my mom just say
00:14:42.84\00:14:43.88
I'm just gonna keep
praying for your relation,
00:14:43.91\00:14:45.20
I'm just gonna
keep praying for you.
00:14:45.23\00:14:47.09
I met a old high school friend,
00:14:47.12\00:14:49.90
somebody that was my
friend when I was young like 12,
00:14:49.93\00:14:52.31
and I started
seeing him and his family
00:14:52.34\00:14:55.51
and the way
that they worshipped,
00:14:55.54\00:14:57.80
and the way that they
felt about God and I was--
00:14:57.83\00:15:00.50
I really had
never experienced that.
00:15:00.53\00:15:02.60
I had been in charge of my life
and I knew what I believed in
00:15:02.63\00:15:06.68
and I knew
completely like our doctrine
00:15:06.71\00:15:10.79
and things like that
00:15:10.82\00:15:11.85
but I had never really
felt a personal relationship.
00:15:11.88\00:15:15.30
Relation with
God? With God ever.
00:15:15.33\00:15:16.73
And outpouring of His
Holy Spirit on you to be alive?
00:15:16.76\00:15:18.60
Yes. Yes.
00:15:18.63\00:15:19.68
I never, I never
do that and I knew,
00:15:19.71\00:15:21.91
I believed Him
and I had faith in Him
00:15:21.94\00:15:24.22
and I knew that He had
brought me through some
00:15:24.25\00:15:26.10
very, very challenging
things because I knew,
00:15:26.13\00:15:28.99
because I knew about God.
00:15:29.02\00:15:30.64
Let me stop you right
there, and I interrupt you.
00:15:30.67\00:15:32.63
When we talk about a
relationship with God
00:15:32.66\00:15:37.50
it means as if you are in that
00:15:37.53\00:15:41.17
personal state of mind with him.
00:15:41.20\00:15:43.62
I was told once that
when you read the Word of God
00:15:43.65\00:15:46.43
you are in the mind of
God because you are studying
00:15:46.46\00:15:48.70
what He is guiding
you or in your steps.
00:15:48.73\00:15:51.22
But we are so tuned into
00:15:51.25\00:15:54.12
a religion versus a relationship
00:15:54.15\00:15:57.88
and you were looking
for that relationship.
00:15:57.91\00:16:00.31
Yes. Okay.
00:16:00.34\00:16:01.47
I needed that relationship.
You wanted that relationship?
00:16:01.50\00:16:03.73
Yes, I needed
relationship and I did not know
00:16:03.76\00:16:07.38
how to get it and I wasn't sure
00:16:07.41\00:16:10.78
but I started with a
40 days fast and pray.
00:16:10.81\00:16:14.66
Did you?
00:16:14.69\00:16:15.72
And I dated with
people who weren't Adventist
00:16:15.75\00:16:18.55
but you know,
00:16:18.58\00:16:19.61
because I was just seeing
other people and I'm like,
00:16:19.64\00:16:21.59
you got as much as
the Lord has done for me
00:16:21.62\00:16:23.84
because I was clear about that.
00:16:23.87\00:16:25.04
There is no way
you can go from being,
00:16:25.07\00:16:27.39
tenth grade somebody beating you
00:16:27.42\00:16:29.48
when you are a
child really literally,
00:16:29.51\00:16:32.14
expelled from school
to having a masters degree
00:16:32.17\00:16:34.65
within less than
three, that doesn't happen.
00:16:34.68\00:16:37.80
So there had to be
nothing but God, right?
00:16:37.83\00:16:40.58
So I knew that but I
didn't really understand
00:16:40.61\00:16:43.12
well, why don't I have
that feeling about God?
00:16:43.15\00:16:46.00
When I see people like moved,
I want to, why don't I feel it?
00:16:46.03\00:16:50.92
So I started with the 40
day fast and prayer and I just,
00:16:50.95\00:16:55.45
I just took the
time to get to know Him,
00:16:55.48\00:16:57.69
just for myself and
He opened my eyes to
00:16:57.72\00:17:02.43
so many things.
00:17:02.46\00:17:03.49
Praise God.
00:17:03.52\00:17:04.55
And I have just changed
in so many different ways
00:17:04.58\00:17:09.72
and every little thing
that He puts in my step
00:17:09.75\00:17:12.11
so I go into
the women's retreat,
00:17:12.14\00:17:14.36
you know, the girls retreat.
00:17:14.39\00:17:15.42
The girls retreat.
00:17:15.45\00:17:16.48
And learning about
being a vitreous woman
00:17:16.51\00:17:19.03
and being a private
study woman and I just--
00:17:19.06\00:17:22.30
I feel like,
some days I feel like
00:17:22.33\00:17:24.58
how did I not
know all these stuff?
00:17:24.61\00:17:26.94
And it's like I knew it?
00:17:26.97\00:17:28.02
You know, I have
read that stuff before
00:17:28.05\00:17:30.16
but it's very
different when you take it
00:17:30.19\00:17:32.71
and you can talk to
Him like He is your,
00:17:32.74\00:17:36.14
He is your friend.
00:17:36.17\00:17:37.25
He is my Father, He is my man,
00:17:37.28\00:17:39.30
He is
everything now and it just,
00:17:39.33\00:17:41.93
it has changed my life so much.
00:17:41.96\00:17:44.27
Now, okay, now you jumped ahead.
00:17:44.30\00:17:45.73
Oh, no.
00:17:45.76\00:17:46.79
That's all, no, no, no, no,
00:17:46.82\00:17:47.85
you have
mentioned a masters degree.
00:17:47.88\00:17:49.79
So you had your
child, you went to jail,
00:17:49.82\00:17:52.94
you get out the
situation with this man,
00:17:52.97\00:17:55.81
now how do we
get to your college--
00:17:55.84\00:17:57.61
The situation went the man,
that's that during I want it.
00:17:57.64\00:18:01.12
You want to know
what happened? Yeah.
00:18:01.15\00:18:02.19
I removed him
right up out of my life.
00:18:02.22\00:18:04.09
Okay.
00:18:04.12\00:18:05.35
We--
00:18:05.38\00:18:06.53
He ended up, he is in prison.
00:18:06.56\00:18:08.78
He's been in prison for
the past six or seven years
00:18:08.81\00:18:12.79
and not because of
he did serve jail time
00:18:12.82\00:18:15.69
because of our situation
00:18:15.72\00:18:17.15
but because of the
things that he was doing to me
00:18:17.18\00:18:20.33
even just without
me being knowing it
00:18:20.36\00:18:24.13
he is incarcerated for it.
00:18:24.16\00:18:25.57
And we don't know
when he is getting out.
00:18:25.60\00:18:28.06
Things that was
directed towards you.
00:18:28.09\00:18:31.45
He went to jail for
things that were directed
00:18:31.48\00:18:33.11
towards me but other
things he did to other women,
00:18:33.14\00:18:38.49
I mean, he's just an abuser,
00:18:38.52\00:18:39.69
just all the way around
and I think that's what--
00:18:39.72\00:18:44.30
And now he is praying the price.
00:18:44.33\00:18:46.15
So and tell us
about your daughter
00:18:46.18\00:18:48.15
and her relationship with him?
00:18:48.18\00:18:50.36
It is not.
00:18:50.39\00:18:51.56
She really
loves her father a lot
00:18:51.59\00:18:54.58
and they really had a good--
00:18:54.61\00:18:56.37
They had a really good
bond when she was young.
00:18:56.40\00:18:59.30
So she really doesn't
understand the dynamics
00:18:59.33\00:19:02.49
of being in a
abusive relationship
00:19:02.52\00:19:04.91
because I can't tell her.
00:19:04.94\00:19:05.97
Yeah, he was great
to me too at first.
00:19:06.00\00:19:08.12
He made me feel like
00:19:08.15\00:19:09.18
I was the only
person in the world
00:19:09.21\00:19:10.97
but once I didn't want to do--
00:19:11.00\00:19:14.14
If I didn't fit
exactly what he wanted me to do
00:19:14.17\00:19:16.49
at that moment he
could not take it.
00:19:16.52\00:19:18.80
And so, I mean,
00:19:18.83\00:19:19.86
he may have started
to do that to my daughter
00:19:19.89\00:19:22.02
when she got of age.
00:19:22.05\00:19:23.66
Who knows but I
know the Lord removed him
00:19:23.69\00:19:26.95
from her life and
because she was struggling with.
00:19:26.98\00:19:29.47
She loves it,
00:19:29.50\00:19:30.53
she wants to be with her dad
00:19:30.56\00:19:31.59
but now that he is gone
she is able to kind of--
00:19:31.62\00:19:35.25
I mean, she deals with it
00:19:35.28\00:19:36.42
but she is able to keep
going without feeling like,
00:19:36.45\00:19:39.87
you know--
00:19:39.90\00:19:41.46
Whether she write
to him or talk to him?
00:19:41.49\00:19:43.36
She used to, not anymore.
00:19:43.39\00:19:44.44
No communication at all?
00:19:44.47\00:19:46.43
All right, so now going back to
00:19:46.46\00:19:48.71
where did the bachelors
degree, masters degree come in?
00:19:48.74\00:19:52.73
The day I left from
jail I literally that day
00:19:52.76\00:19:55.10
I went to the
community college and enrolled
00:19:55.13\00:19:58.04
and complete in
associates degree
00:19:58.07\00:20:00.05
and it was a program
lets you to go straight
00:20:00.08\00:20:01.83
to the university
and I went straight
00:20:01.86\00:20:04.49
and got in five
years and did not stop.
00:20:04.52\00:20:06.93
What community
college? I had a goal.
00:20:06.96\00:20:08.05
It was Washtenaw
Community College.
00:20:08.08\00:20:09.50
You went to
Washtenaw? He went to Washtenaw.
00:20:09.53\00:20:10.76
Oh, really.
00:20:10.79\00:20:11.93
Washtenaw Community
College is in the area
00:20:11.96\00:20:14.74
outside of
Michigan in one of the--
00:20:14.77\00:20:15.80
Ypsilanti.
00:20:15.83\00:20:16.86
Ypsilanti area, you
know. And your degree is?
00:20:16.89\00:20:20.32
In social work. I knew that.
00:20:20.35\00:20:22.70
Social work,
social work, all right.
00:20:22.73\00:20:24.75
Yes. Yes.
00:20:24.78\00:20:25.81
Because I had a goal that
00:20:25.84\00:20:26.87
I wanted to
finish my masters degree
00:20:26.90\00:20:29.62
before my daughter
went to first grade.
00:20:29.65\00:20:31.81
And you did it? And I did it.
00:20:31.84\00:20:33.10
Isn't that wonderful?
00:20:33.13\00:20:34.65
So now are you
dating now, you know,
00:20:34.68\00:20:37.47
what's going on now personally?
00:20:37.50\00:20:39.04
Well, now I'm--
00:20:39.07\00:20:41.37
Because of all of these things
00:20:41.40\00:20:42.91
and not having a
relationship with God
00:20:42.94\00:20:45.47
even when I met someone
that I probably could have
00:20:45.50\00:20:47.78
a really possibly
relationship with them we try,
00:20:47.81\00:20:50.38
I didn't know how
to have a relationship.
00:20:50.41\00:20:53.24
So right now I'm continuing
00:20:53.27\00:20:54.78
into build my
relationship with Christ
00:20:54.81\00:20:56.91
so that I can be the woman
00:20:56.94\00:20:58.72
that you are supposed
to be towards the end.
00:20:58.75\00:21:00.75
How important is that--
00:21:00.78\00:21:01.90
I tell women, who say, Dr. Kim,
00:21:01.93\00:21:04.83
what did you do while
you are waiting on the Lord
00:21:04.86\00:21:07.38
to bless you with Arthur
and truly he is a blessing.
00:21:07.41\00:21:10.76
I said, I worked on me.
00:21:10.79\00:21:12.63
I worked on who I
am, what I wanted to do,
00:21:12.66\00:21:15.03
went back to
school got another degree,
00:21:15.06\00:21:17.98
got involved with the church
00:21:18.01\00:21:19.15
because you are
involved with the church now.
00:21:19.18\00:21:22.28
You are back at that
church where you ran from.
00:21:22.31\00:21:24.97
Isn't that something? Yes, I'm.
00:21:25.00\00:21:26.84
You are very involved.
00:21:26.87\00:21:27.90
And I will say that to,
00:21:27.93\00:21:28.96
I think that's
another thing that helped me
00:21:28.99\00:21:30.48
get involved with churches.
00:21:30.51\00:21:32.03
One year they asked me to--
00:21:32.06\00:21:34.14
I heard you think about
00:21:34.17\00:21:35.20
you are the
nominating committee.
00:21:35.23\00:21:36.43
One year someone asked
me to be on a committee
00:21:36.46\00:21:39.19
and I was like me?
00:21:39.22\00:21:41.28
Me? You want me
on the committee?
00:21:41.31\00:21:43.44
But they asked me to
and I did it and I served
00:21:43.47\00:21:46.44
and it made me become
closer to my church family.
00:21:46.47\00:21:49.80
So they want--
00:21:49.83\00:21:50.86
I had so once I started
to build that relationship
00:21:50.89\00:21:53.88
that I had never
really knew I could have
00:21:53.91\00:21:56.85
and then having a
relationship with God.
00:21:56.88\00:21:58.53
Now I can be the church
member that I'm supposed to be.
00:21:58.56\00:22:01.49
So now they are coming,
00:22:01.52\00:22:02.55
they want to me
three different positions.
00:22:02.58\00:22:04.30
Where much is
given much is required.
00:22:05.84\00:22:08.35
Absolutely.
00:22:08.38\00:22:09.42
You didn't say the
church, what church?
00:22:09.45\00:22:10.94
I'm from Ypsilanti
Seventh-day Adventist.
00:22:10.97\00:22:12.45
Okay. Seventh-day?
00:22:12.48\00:22:14.00
Oh, yes.
00:22:14.03\00:22:15.23
Now when we talk
about nominating committee
00:22:15.26\00:22:16.95
for those who are--
00:22:16.98\00:22:18.01
Some of our viewers
00:22:18.04\00:22:19.07
who are not
Seventh-day Adventists
00:22:19.10\00:22:20.72
we meet every two years
00:22:20.75\00:22:22.83
and we have body of
the church to come together
00:22:22.86\00:22:25.56
to select the
officers of the church.
00:22:25.59\00:22:27.64
That's called the
nominating committee.
00:22:27.67\00:22:29.82
You know, you and your daughter,
00:22:29.85\00:22:31.25
you know, we got
about five minutes left.
00:22:31.28\00:22:32.86
You and your daughter,
00:22:32.89\00:22:33.93
tell us about your relationship.
00:22:33.96\00:22:35.39
It has gotten a lot
better in the last year.
00:22:37.56\00:22:41.12
Initially I knew I
need to be provider,
00:22:41.15\00:22:43.81
that's what I was
taught, you be a provider,
00:22:43.84\00:22:45.64
you put things in place.
00:22:45.67\00:22:47.18
But I did not realize
the importance of having
00:22:47.21\00:22:49.77
a intimate
relationship with your child.
00:22:49.80\00:22:52.09
And I was more be in
the responsible party
00:22:52.12\00:22:56.93
the kind of thing.
00:22:56.96\00:22:58.01
This is what you
need the delegate to say.
00:22:58.04\00:22:59.55
You need to do
this, you need to do that.
00:22:59.58\00:23:01.15
But now I understand that
she just needs me to be there
00:23:01.18\00:23:04.35
for her to have that
person that she feels like
00:23:04.38\00:23:06.87
she can come to no
matter what she does,
00:23:06.90\00:23:09.59
no matter what mistake she has
that I'm gonna be there for her
00:23:09.62\00:23:12.92
every step of the way.
00:23:12.95\00:23:14.59
And Lexus--
00:23:14.62\00:23:15.65
Wait a minute, and Lexus,
00:23:15.68\00:23:17.13
who goes around comes around,
is she you all the very again?
00:23:17.16\00:23:21.84
But she is a little
bit more than me I think.
00:23:21.87\00:23:24.81
When people are
telling me now that
00:23:24.84\00:23:26.58
she is just
like me but I'm not--
00:23:26.61\00:23:28.47
I was--
00:23:28.50\00:23:29.53
Never like that.
00:23:29.56\00:23:30.99
Yeah, that's about they are so.
00:23:31.02\00:23:32.74
But she is a very,
she is very outspoken.
00:23:32.77\00:23:34.77
I love that about her.
00:23:34.80\00:23:35.83
She is aggressive,
she speaks her mind.
00:23:35.86\00:23:38.10
Every forum that I
have been in with Lexus
00:23:38.13\00:23:41.14
she will stand up,
00:23:41.17\00:23:42.20
she is not gonna
wait on the crowd.
00:23:42.23\00:23:43.98
This is how I feel,
00:23:44.01\00:23:45.08
this is the way I
look at something.
00:23:45.11\00:23:46.93
She is going to be that
leader of our next generation.
00:23:46.96\00:23:50.07
I'll see that.
00:23:50.10\00:23:51.13
Let me ask you a
question about you
00:23:51.16\00:23:54.27
not having a
relationship with your father.
00:23:54.30\00:23:57.02
How did that really
upset you as you were,
00:23:57.05\00:23:59.61
you know,
growing up and maturing?
00:23:59.64\00:24:01.33
I thought it didn't
but now to this date like
00:24:01.36\00:24:04.30
now I realize that it
makes me not really understand
00:24:04.33\00:24:08.57
how to have a
relationship with the man
00:24:08.60\00:24:10.71
and to not know that
you should expect a man
00:24:10.74\00:24:14.40
to treat you like
he treats the church
00:24:14.43\00:24:17.40
and to love you in that manner.
00:24:17.43\00:24:19.15
So I would just accept
anything and now I know that now
00:24:19.18\00:24:25.12
and if you can't
give me that love
00:24:25.15\00:24:27.31
or if you are not
gonna treat me in that way
00:24:27.34\00:24:29.65
then there is really no
room for you in my life.
00:24:29.68\00:24:32.81
Okay. Amen.
00:24:32.84\00:24:34.36
And with we have
about three minutes to go.
00:24:34.39\00:24:36.42
Okay. Okay.
00:24:36.45\00:24:37.50
Another thing that
I was interested in,
00:24:37.53\00:24:40.56
you know, how would you
encourage your daughter,
00:24:40.59\00:24:44.00
you know, being that she
doesn't have a relationship
00:24:44.03\00:24:46.61
with her father,
you know at this point?
00:24:46.64\00:24:49.60
What would be an
encouragement to her
00:24:49.63\00:24:52.03
and do to--
00:24:52.06\00:24:53.09
What would you do?
00:24:53.12\00:24:54.16
I'm trying to
help her understand
00:24:54.19\00:24:57.16
that she can have a
relationship with God
00:24:57.19\00:25:00.32
and help her understand
00:25:00.35\00:25:02.30
how God's word can
apply to everyday life,
00:25:02.33\00:25:05.31
the issue she is
dealing with right now.
00:25:05.34\00:25:07.18
When I was younger
I read Bible verses
00:25:07.21\00:25:09.47
but I don't feel
like I ever understood
00:25:09.50\00:25:11.66
how it could apply right then,
so I couldn't internalize it.
00:25:11.70\00:25:15.86
So I'm trying
to help her do that
00:25:15.89\00:25:17.34
and then I try to make sure that
00:25:17.37\00:25:18.82
she doesn't have identify people
00:25:18.85\00:25:22.45
that are going
to be there for her,
00:25:22.48\00:25:24.31
that she know she can
go to if she needs to.
00:25:24.34\00:25:26.85
Man, do I have
believe our Christian man.
00:25:26.88\00:25:30.03
She has people in her
life that are there for her.
00:25:30.06\00:25:33.28
She can call them and
they are there for whatever
00:25:33.31\00:25:36.07
and we have that
type arrangement.
00:25:36.10\00:25:38.89
And it doesn't always
work as you may heard her say,
00:25:38.92\00:25:42.05
"I don't want other
people tell me what to do.
00:25:42.08\00:25:44.18
I miss my dad."
00:25:44.21\00:25:45.68
But you know,
00:25:45.71\00:25:47.50
that's what I do
in the mean time.
00:25:47.53\00:25:48.93
What--
00:25:48.96\00:25:50.01
One final question is
00:25:50.04\00:25:51.62
and I know we
don't have a lot of time.
00:25:51.65\00:25:53.86
But your mother
asked you to leave
00:25:53.89\00:25:58.49
when you didn't respond to her.
00:25:58.52\00:26:01.21
How would you handle that
situation with your daughter?
00:26:01.24\00:26:04.69
I have told her
that the only way
00:26:04.72\00:26:07.63
she is leaving
me is through death.
00:26:07.66\00:26:09.80
Okay.
00:26:09.83\00:26:11.10
And that sure say
00:26:11.13\00:26:12.16
because I want her to know that
00:26:12.19\00:26:14.53
she always has me
00:26:14.56\00:26:15.98
and that's what I
feel like parents.
00:26:16.01\00:26:17.51
And I think my
mom would have chosen
00:26:17.54\00:26:18.80
a different route if
she had the choice now.
00:26:18.83\00:26:21.21
But I feel as parents
we have to emulate God.
00:26:21.24\00:26:23.92
God never leaves me,
00:26:23.95\00:26:25.39
I can't ever leave you
00:26:25.42\00:26:27.27
and that's just the bottom line.
00:26:27.30\00:26:28.54
And I tell that
in a way you dealt
00:26:28.57\00:26:29.92
with each other
again on other side
00:26:29.95\00:26:32.31
but as I have to be
what God is to me here.
00:26:32.34\00:26:36.06
He doesn't leave me.
00:26:36.09\00:26:37.12
He has never left
me one step of this way
00:26:37.15\00:26:40.02
through this whole
journey I've been on.
00:26:40.05\00:26:42.59
While I was
doing everything wrong,
00:26:42.62\00:26:44.32
He never ever left me.
00:26:44.35\00:26:46.13
So I can't leave her either.
00:26:46.16\00:26:47.71
So what's your
job in social work?
00:26:47.74\00:26:50.40
Right now I'm an instructor
at Eastern Michigan University
00:26:50.43\00:26:54.97
and I also I'm a
field unit director
00:26:55.00\00:26:57.23
so I supervise social work.
00:26:57.26\00:26:58.63
Okay. Okay. That is so vivid.
00:26:58.66\00:27:00.75
You know how God
orders your steps
00:27:00.78\00:27:03.02
and I know that your
family is very proud of you.
00:27:03.05\00:27:06.34
Praise God. And
we are proud of you.
00:27:06.37\00:27:08.30
You know, I thank God
for being God in your life
00:27:08.33\00:27:11.34
and as you grow
in your relationship.
00:27:11.37\00:27:12.86
Let me ask final question.
00:27:12.89\00:27:15.36
Your mom, I know
she is proud of you.
00:27:15.39\00:27:17.20
Yes, she is.
00:27:17.23\00:27:18.31
She is extremely proud
of me and my accomplishments
00:27:18.34\00:27:20.87
and the things that
I do with my daughter
00:27:20.90\00:27:22.51
but we talked there other
day and what she shared is that,
00:27:22.54\00:27:26.11
she is most proud of my
relationship with Christ
00:27:26.14\00:27:29.35
and how I've
grown as a woman in God
00:27:29.38\00:27:32.82
and that's what
she is most proud of.
00:27:32.85\00:27:34.75
Praise God.
00:27:34.78\00:27:36.25
Well, we are proud of you
00:27:36.28\00:27:37.49
and you continue to do
the work you are doing to help
00:27:37.52\00:27:39.37
so many people to help them.
00:27:39.40\00:27:41.51
Just stay on the path and
God has ordered your steps.
00:27:41.54\00:27:44.97
God bless you. Thank you.
00:27:45.00\00:27:46.57
I want you to know as parents
00:27:46.60\00:27:47.71
we can never give
upon your children,
00:27:47.74\00:27:49.15
on our children.
00:27:49.18\00:27:50.38
Don't ever think
is too late for God
00:27:50.41\00:27:53.35
to turn your life around.
00:27:53.38\00:27:55.02
I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
00:27:55.05\00:27:56.86
And I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:27:56.89\00:27:58.04
God bless.
00:27:58.07\00:27:59.12