Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
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And I'm Arthur Nowlin.
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Welcome to "Making It Work."
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On today's program
"Didn't See It Coming,"
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Arthur, what comes to mind
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when we talk about
not seeing something?
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Basically its like,
I'm not prepared for it.
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I didn't expect
this thing to happen
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and usually that
creates a problem for someone.
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Definitely.
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Well, today
we're blessed to have
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Ms. Angela Harris,
from Flint, Michigan.
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Welcome to "Making
It Work." Thank you.
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How you doing? I'm doing well.
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Lot of things have
been happening in your life,
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but let's talk
about you for a moment
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before we get to your testimony.
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Tell us about
where you were raised
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and your educational background.
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Now, well, I'm was pretty much
born in Cassopolis, Michigan.
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And I grew up in Flint,
I lived there until 1996
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and move to
Nashville with my mom.
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My parents have
been divorced in 1990,
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so my sister and I move
with my mom to Nashville.
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My dad and his new
wife moved to Atlanta,
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so we were back and
forth between there.
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I think I was maybe 11,
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I want to live
with my grandparents
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and then later the next year
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I moved in with
my dad and his wife
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and it was very difficult
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I didn't really
have a good relationship
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with my stepmother.
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They ended up
having two children,
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so I was blessed
with more sisters now.
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Pretty much I was
the oldest though--
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though
everything that happened on
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just tried to
keep myself together,
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so I can be an example to them.
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Later we moved
to Orlando, Florida
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where I
graduated from high school.
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But I got a call from
my mom after I graduated.
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She wanted me to
come to Nashville,
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instead of going
to college in Florida,
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where I originally
kind of have wanted to go.
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I ended up not
going to Tennessee State,
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where she wanted me to.
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But I did go to Nashville Tech
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which is the
college down the streets.
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Okay.
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And I-- my goal was to study
ultimately forensic pathology,
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so I begin there with biology
and I minored in bookkeeping,
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so I took my Bookkeeping courses
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ended up getting employed there.
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I been in Nashville, I
went through the police academy
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and I became
employed as a 911 dispatcher--
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Where work for the
next couple of years.
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About my first home
when I was 19-years-old,
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I went to cosmetology
school well, I did not finish,
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however I did a find
employment as a manicurist.
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Okay. Okay.
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Where I didn't
ask for pretty much
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the whole time I
did everything else.
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That's how you made a living.
That's how I made a living.
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Anyway in 2008,
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I met my husband
through a mutual friend.
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The people from Detroit area
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tend to all be
friends down there.
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So-- Okay.
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She was also from Detroit,
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she had a breast
cancer and had gotten a--
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had to get a biopsy on
the lump that she found.
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And I agree to take her,
but I had some car trouble.
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So she said no worries,
you still want to go with me
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that's fine I'll
just give us a ride.
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You know, I got a
friend that will take us.
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So I waited at my
home and he came to pick us
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and he had a most
awful looking car,
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I did not even feel
comfortable riding in it.
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And once I opened
the door and got in
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and it was just
so trashy and junky,
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there really wasn't
any where for me to sit.
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So I immediately was
attracted to him at all.
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Okay.
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But when she introduced
us then from the moment
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I looked into his
eyes, I was in love with him.
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I just-- I don't know
what it was, I just-- I just--
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You felt that chemistry.
I just felt that chemistry.
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So we spent the
entire day together.
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He's very short
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just not my type
not my type at all
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but I just instantly
knew that that was the person
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that I was going to marry.
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Let me ask you this, you
know, during this whole process
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where you communicating,
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while you were
dating with your father
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or your mom about this
young man that you'd met?
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I had just began to fix my
relationship with my father,
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so we had just started
recently communicating again.
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And I did share
a little with him,
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but it was a lot
that I kept to myself
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because I was
kind of embarrassed
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because he
wasn't the type of guy
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that I normally dated, so--
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Okay, and what was the
type of guy you normally dated?
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I-- a pretty boy.
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I like people that are
very well-groomed and neat
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and would do more for me
than I had to do for them,
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so that was the normal for me.
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And he was the opposite of that.
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He was the exact opposite.
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But something again caught you?
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There was something. Okay.
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He just seem to
have such a sweet spirit
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and he was a
student at Tennessee State,
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so my mom being a
housing director there,
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was his dorm
director for many years.
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So while he was in
school you were in school?
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All right, so you're giving--
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you know, working
towards your degree?
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He earned his degree? Yes.
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He earned his degree.
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What deviated you
from getting your degree?
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Well, our
relationship move pretty fast.
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We met in April at the
end of April and pardon me--
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What year was
this? This was 2008.
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All right.
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By May we just were
totally in love with each other
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and totally
engrossed in each other
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and I could see
that he had a need
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and I just wanted to do
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whatever I had
to do to help him.
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It was his last year of college
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and I just thought it
was very important for him
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to have whatever
he needed to graduate.
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So he had a need
and you made a decision
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that you was gonna help him?
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Yes. Okay.
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So, you-- you did that,
that mean quitting school?
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I did eventually
quit school that year.
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Did he end up to join
the moving end together?
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Not exactly, he had
apartment with roommates,
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he had a three bedroom
apartment with four other guys,
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so you know, I just helped
him with his share of the rent
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and his bills and
gas and trying to keep
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that proper going for him--
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So you were
dating, you're dating,
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you helping him pay his bill?
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Yes, because that I
was-- I had two jobs.
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So you know, I have
more income than him,
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he just had a
part-time job at Macy's, so--
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Well, how long did it take
for you guys to make a decision
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that you want to be together
for the rest of your life?
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Oh, that was
within the first week.
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Really?
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I-- I expressed
my feelings to him
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the first day that we met
and my girlfriend was like a--
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she's very blunt,
that's she serious,
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that what's she means.
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And I probably
shouldn't have said anything,
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but later on that evening,
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he told me after he was
getting ready to go home
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he said, you know what?
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I could see
myself waking up with you
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for the rest of my life
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and that just let me
know that there is something
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that we
apparently we're gonna decide
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to pursue to be with each other.
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So how long did it take?
It was pretty much immediate.
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That day he pretended
to accidentally forget
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is earring at my house
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and of course I had to
do share of part to get
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since I was so
forward about my feelings,
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so I didn't give
him my phone number
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and he kept
calling my girlfriend
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trying to get in touch with me.
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You know, she
wouldn't give out my number
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so after about a week
or maybe it was two weeks
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I finally said, okay go
ahead and give him my number.
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He can call me.
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Tell him, he can come
by and pick up his earring.
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So eventually I
think, in that second week
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I did allow him
to come back over,
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and ever since then we were
inseparable after that time.
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How long-- how long before
that you-- you were married?
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What year did you get married?
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We did not get
married that year,
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but there was a
kind of roadblock.
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When he
started-- before he started
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back student teaching,
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I guess that we were very close
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and things are moving very fast.
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He was going to do a
student teaching that far
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and we were trying to
make a plan as to how,
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you know, I will be
able to help him do that
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and whether I would be enrolling
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in school again for that far.
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But I wanted to take on
some extra hours at work
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so I say, well,
once you graduate
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then maybe we can
talk about something,
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and he said no.
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Once I graduate in December,
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you're going
immediately back to school
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and I'm gonna put
you through school.
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You had no reason to doubt him?
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No reason to doubt
him, I trusted him.
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So and he seemed
to be a man of God,
00:08:07.81\00:08:09.76
he knew the
Bible back and front,
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we pray together.
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You attend church together?
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We did, we
attended church together.
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He was a member of a-- a very--
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a very well-known
church in Nashville
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and there pastors
are very, very godly man
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and you know, I just--
I just trusted in that.
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So you now you're in--
you're in Nashville living?
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Okay, then what?
We were in Nashville.
00:08:27.99\00:08:29.41
And I think in August,
right August he started school,
00:08:29.44\00:08:34.83
he began his
student teaching at a cup--
00:08:34.86\00:08:37.12
couple of high
school and middle school
00:08:37.15\00:08:38.58
there in Nashville.
00:08:38.61\00:08:39.64
He's very excited about that.
00:08:39.67\00:08:41.81
However in a September
00:08:41.84\00:08:44.96
we did have sex
before we were married
00:08:44.99\00:08:48.39
and immediately
before he finished he said,
00:08:48.42\00:08:52.85
you know, I
wanted to have my baby
00:08:52.88\00:08:54.58
and he made
that decision for me.
00:08:54.61\00:08:56.62
I don't condone
abortion but at that time
00:08:56.65\00:08:59.22
I just did not feel like
it was a good decision for us.
00:08:59.25\00:09:01.91
We needed to do damage control
00:09:01.94\00:09:03.80
and I just asked
God like what do I do?
00:09:03.83\00:09:05.92
I know, I made a
mistake, what do I do?
00:09:05.95\00:09:07.85
And I didn't listen.
00:09:07.88\00:09:09.20
I just pretty
much was like you know,
00:09:09.23\00:09:10.78
what I don't want to ask God,
I don't know what he thinks.
00:09:10.81\00:09:13.68
I want to have an abortion.
00:09:13.71\00:09:15.25
So I told Roger, like
this is what I'm gonna do.
00:09:15.28\00:09:17.48
I'm gonna go to the clinic
00:09:17.51\00:09:18.55
and I'm gonna get this abortion,
00:09:18.58\00:09:19.96
and we're gonna
finish our degrees
00:09:19.99\00:09:21.98
and we're gonna just move on.
00:09:22.01\00:09:23.47
And he was very angry, he
said, no, I want this child.
00:09:23.50\00:09:26.77
I said, no, I don't
because my parents were divorced
00:09:26.80\00:09:29.55
and their marriage did not work
00:09:29.58\00:09:31.02
and I don't want to have
00:09:31.05\00:09:32.52
a separate
household for my child.
00:09:32.55\00:09:34.37
Well, we're not married,
what if this doesn't work?
00:09:34.40\00:09:36.53
What if you decide
to go your own way?
00:09:36.56\00:09:38.26
And then my child is
in a single family home,
00:09:38.29\00:09:40.63
single parent home like I was
00:09:40.66\00:09:42.21
and that was not
good for me or my sisters.
00:09:42.24\00:09:45.50
And so I-- that
was the last thing
00:09:45.53\00:09:47.00
I wanted for my
child and I said, no.
00:09:47.03\00:09:48.79
I'm not gonna bring a
child in the world to have this.
00:09:48.82\00:09:51.06
And at that moment he promised,
00:09:51.09\00:09:52.65
he said, you know, I
love you, I told you,
00:09:52.68\00:09:54.86
I will spend the
rest of my life with you.
00:09:54.89\00:09:56.39
Let's just go ahead
00:09:56.42\00:09:57.51
and we'll start
planning our marriage,
00:09:57.54\00:09:59.89
and planning our wedding,
00:09:59.92\00:10:01.02
and I will
never leave your side.
00:10:01.05\00:10:02.73
I will raise
this child with you.
00:10:02.76\00:10:04.44
This we would do this together,
00:10:04.47\00:10:05.84
I will be a father to her
00:10:05.87\00:10:07.23
and I will be a
provider for you.
00:10:07.26\00:10:09.21
And at that time we
decided to keep the baby.
00:10:09.24\00:10:12.33
I began to get my prenatal care.
00:10:12.36\00:10:14.61
And you know, the
whole wedding thing
00:10:14.64\00:10:16.70
started getting
pushed to the side
00:10:16.73\00:10:18.21
and you know, he
mentioned it less and less
00:10:18.24\00:10:20.33
and I was just wondering
like is this still gonna happen?
00:10:20.36\00:10:23.03
And I'm still
managing the bills for home
00:10:23.06\00:10:25.68
and the bills for his living
00:10:25.71\00:10:27.25
and I was getting
kind of frustrated.
00:10:27.28\00:10:28.93
So when I was thinking
my house had four bedrooms,
00:10:28.96\00:10:31.99
so I chose the
bedroom for my nursery
00:10:32.02\00:10:33.90
and I begin to
panic and you know,
00:10:33.93\00:10:35.68
try to prepare for the baby.
00:10:35.71\00:10:36.92
It was early but I was--
00:10:36.95\00:10:38.08
I had begun to be
very excited about it.
00:10:38.11\00:10:40.31
So I suggested to him like well,
00:10:40.34\00:10:42.06
what's the
timeline for his marriage?
00:10:42.09\00:10:44.32
You know, what are we gonna do?
00:10:44.35\00:10:45.55
Because you know, it
will save a lot of money
00:10:45.58\00:10:47.51
and we just began to
save more money for the baby,
00:10:47.54\00:10:49.82
if we didn't have two households
00:10:49.85\00:10:51.60
to take care of,
two sets of bill.
00:10:51.63\00:10:54.69
And he made a proposal
to me and not "B" proposal,
00:10:54.72\00:10:58.14
but "A" proposal.
00:10:58.17\00:10:59.86
He said, that I got
a job in Mississippi
00:10:59.89\00:11:02.22
at Jackson State University,
00:11:02.25\00:11:04.20
and I'd like us
to go to Mississippi
00:11:04.23\00:11:07.08
and on this job
00:11:07.11\00:11:08.63
I will be making good
money and have benefits
00:11:08.66\00:11:11.49
and I don't want
you to have to work.
00:11:11.52\00:11:14.01
I want you to be
able to be a mom,
00:11:14.04\00:11:15.60
spend time with this baby,
00:11:15.63\00:11:17.10
and then when the
baby gets old enough then,
00:11:17.13\00:11:19.97
I will put you back in school.
00:11:20.00\00:11:21.25
And then we'll go
from there and so--
00:11:21.28\00:11:24.18
You went to Mississippi?
I went to Mississippi.
00:11:24.21\00:11:25.97
You sold your house,
packed up and you went?
00:11:26.00\00:11:29.08
So we get there and we
moved in with my sister-in-law,
00:11:29.11\00:11:32.84
and her husband and two boys,
00:11:32.87\00:11:34.20
and you know, I-- I
began to care for them
00:11:34.23\00:11:36.99
because we didn't pay them rent
00:11:37.02\00:11:38.30
so I began to be a
nanny to my nephews.
00:11:38.33\00:11:41.03
Okay and you still not married?
We still not married, yet.
00:11:41.06\00:11:43.96
There is something
always there something
00:11:43.99\00:11:45.92
that's putting it
off, it's not time
00:11:45.95\00:11:47.45
yet, you know, we don't
have enough money for wedding.
00:11:47.48\00:11:50.17
And I have a
problem with anxiety,
00:11:50.20\00:11:52.05
so I really want to
have a wedding anyway.
00:11:52.08\00:11:54.69
So I was kind of pushing for
let's just go get our license
00:11:54.72\00:11:57.22
and have a have a
court house marriage
00:11:57.25\00:11:58.98
and let's just do that.
00:11:59.01\00:12:00.19
But he wanted this big wedding,
00:12:00.22\00:12:01.86
so I'm waiting,
00:12:01.89\00:12:03.23
you know, okay, I'm gonna
wait this is what he wants,
00:12:03.26\00:12:05.38
I'm gonna wait for this.
00:12:05.41\00:12:06.76
So get down if I doubt
he did not have that job.
00:12:06.79\00:12:10.43
He didn't have a job?
No, he did not have a job.
00:12:10.46\00:12:12.95
Oh, my, the plot thickens.
00:12:12.98\00:12:15.84
Yes, so I continued
to care for the boys
00:12:15.87\00:12:17.99
and run house for my
sister-in-law cooking,
00:12:18.02\00:12:20.27
clean, take care for house and--
00:12:20.30\00:12:21.88
So you were
like the housekeeper?
00:12:21.91\00:12:23.43
I prefer in so many times.
00:12:23.46\00:12:25.80
And nanny. Amen.
00:12:25.83\00:12:27.51
If you want to
use that-- that term.
00:12:27.54\00:12:29.11
Well I don't spare this man.
00:12:29.14\00:12:31.58
Yes, and I do
continue to do that,
00:12:31.61\00:12:34.15
but once the
baby was born in April
00:12:34.18\00:12:36.44
my daughter was born
on April 2nd of 2009.
00:12:36.47\00:12:40.11
My grandparents
are retired and left
00:12:40.14\00:12:42.06
when they moved Arkansas.
00:12:42.09\00:12:43.64
So that was only
three and a half hour
00:12:43.67\00:12:46.12
away from Jackson, Mississippi,
00:12:46.15\00:12:47.34
where we were staying.
00:12:47.37\00:12:48.40
And so I had a conversation
with them and ask them
00:12:48.43\00:12:50.84
if-- you know, my baby
with two weeks old at the time.
00:12:50.87\00:12:53.40
And I say, well, can I--
can you watch my baby for me
00:12:53.43\00:12:56.81
and care for her,
so I can get a job,
00:12:56.84\00:12:58.65
for this-- just a
temporary positions
00:12:58.68\00:13:00.59
to save for deposit on apartment
00:13:00.62\00:13:02.56
for Roger and I
and Robin the baby.
00:13:02.59\00:13:05.12
And they agreed.
00:13:05.15\00:13:06.21
So, let me ask you,
how long before you get
00:13:06.24\00:13:08.49
moved out of your
sister-in-laws house
00:13:08.52\00:13:10.56
into your house
and then married?
00:13:10.59\00:13:13.27
At the end of that month,
we did move into our apartment.
00:13:13.30\00:13:16.78
And that was--
that was in May of 2009.
00:13:16.81\00:13:21.54
And then, when?
00:13:21.57\00:13:22.62
And we finally got our marriage
00:13:22.65\00:13:24.23
certificates on
April-- in April,
00:13:24.26\00:13:26.85
I mean in August of
2009 and in December
00:13:26.88\00:13:30.61
we finally had our wedding.
00:13:30.64\00:13:31.95
So you're living
in-- in Mississippi.
00:13:31.98\00:13:34.99
Mississippi, yes.
00:13:35.02\00:13:36.12
Okay, so now you married,
00:13:36.15\00:13:38.74
you have this
child in Mississippi.
00:13:38.77\00:13:41.87
Then another child comes,
00:13:41.90\00:13:43.95
and wait and
then the whammy comes.
00:13:43.98\00:13:48.29
Okay, and
things began to change?
00:13:48.32\00:13:51.63
Yes.
00:13:51.66\00:13:52.74
But at that time there was
so much tension between us.
00:13:52.77\00:13:55.13
He was not a very good parent.
00:13:55.16\00:13:57.57
He had some allegations of abuse
00:13:57.60\00:13:59.48
made by neighbors
when I wasn't home,
00:13:59.51\00:14:01.69
and I didn't want to believe it,
00:14:01.72\00:14:03.33
but ultimately I
knew that the things
00:14:03.36\00:14:05.05
that he was
accused of had happen.
00:14:05.08\00:14:08.57
That's-- that
was in April I just--
00:14:08.60\00:14:11.55
So you are in-- and
sorry to interrupt you,
00:14:11.58\00:14:13.19
but you never saw this coming?
00:14:13.22\00:14:15.41
I've never, any of it,
00:14:15.44\00:14:16.56
he was such a loving
person in the beginning
00:14:16.59\00:14:18.06
I never thought that he could do
00:14:18.09\00:14:19.17
anything to hurt our children.
00:14:19.20\00:14:20.60
I definitely didn't think
00:14:20.63\00:14:21.68
he would do anything to hurt me.
00:14:21.71\00:14:24.23
So when-- when I started
getting wind of the allegations
00:14:24.26\00:14:26.81
that were made against
him I became very, very angry.
00:14:26.84\00:14:29.49
We began to have
physical altercations
00:14:29.52\00:14:31.80
and this was in
April of last year,
00:14:31.83\00:14:34.39
when all it--
everything start happening.
00:14:34.42\00:14:36.70
There was no more
income in the house
00:14:36.73\00:14:38.60
and we just became very
overwhelmed with everything.
00:14:38.63\00:14:41.19
Then you found out that your
husband has filed for divorce?
00:14:41.22\00:14:43.94
Yes, actually
before all that happened,
00:14:43.97\00:14:45.70
I found out that I was
pregnant and that I didn't know
00:14:45.73\00:14:50.26
until I was having a miscarriage
00:14:50.29\00:14:52.27
on my bathroom floor.
00:14:52.30\00:14:53.33
With your third child?
Yeah, with my third child.
00:14:53.36\00:14:55.37
And I did not know because
I have put it all behind me
00:14:55.40\00:14:58.27
that back in April of that
year my husband had raped me.
00:14:58.30\00:15:04.18
How were you
feeling at that time?
00:15:04.21\00:15:06.41
Just how are you feeling?
00:15:06.44\00:15:08.20
Making all these transitions
in your life right now,
00:15:08.23\00:15:11.25
everything hit you at one time?
00:15:11.28\00:15:13.03
And his decision not
to be with you anymore?
00:15:13.06\00:15:16.67
At that point when he
moved out of the house,
00:15:16.70\00:15:18.70
he move in with
his sister and said,
00:15:18.73\00:15:20.41
go figure it
out, I wanted to die.
00:15:20.44\00:15:22.66
You just wanted to die?
00:15:22.69\00:15:23.73
The only reason that
I continued to live was
00:15:23.76\00:15:26.45
because I wanted to be
a mother to my children.
00:15:26.48\00:15:30.17
You know, I sort of
try to connect the pieces.
00:15:30.20\00:15:33.57
I just want to know,
where was God in all of this?
00:15:33.60\00:15:37.53
You know, and why
didn't you see it coming?
00:15:37.56\00:15:40.47
You know, growing up
with my family being,
00:15:40.50\00:15:44.38
religious-- a lot
of people in my family,
00:15:44.41\00:15:47.52
my grandparents, my
maternal and paternal,
00:15:47.55\00:15:51.55
my parents they were
all spiritual people,
00:15:51.58\00:15:53.92
God fearing people.
00:15:53.95\00:15:55.50
And I think that
00:15:55.53\00:15:57.08
my understanding of
a relationship with God
00:15:57.11\00:15:59.55
was just doing
what you were told
00:15:59.58\00:16:01.33
and doing what
you have been taught.
00:16:01.36\00:16:03.17
So and you know,
pursuing the path
00:16:03.20\00:16:07.57
that eventually
led to my marriage,
00:16:07.60\00:16:09.50
I just was pregnant
00:16:09.53\00:16:11.26
and I was in
love with the person
00:16:11.29\00:16:13.36
so I say, well, you
know the Bible says,
00:16:13.39\00:16:15.86
that you
shouldn't be having children
00:16:15.89\00:16:17.26
and not be married.
00:16:17.29\00:16:18.34
And I said, well, I
want to marry this man.
00:16:18.37\00:16:20.50
He says, he want to marry me.
00:16:20.53\00:16:22.22
So to correct the problem,
00:16:22.25\00:16:23.55
we just go
ahead and get married.
00:16:23.58\00:16:24.77
And I thought that--
that would solve everything.
00:16:24.80\00:16:27.93
So at the time I was just acting
00:16:27.96\00:16:29.50
on having the knowledge of God,
00:16:29.53\00:16:31.41
but I didn't realize it,
00:16:31.44\00:16:32.76
but I did not ever have
a relationship with God.
00:16:32.79\00:16:35.14
No relationship,
and that's the key.
00:16:35.17\00:16:37.19
A lot of people have a religion,
00:16:37.22\00:16:40.12
but they don't
have a relationship.
00:16:40.15\00:16:42.11
You know, now
going back to something
00:16:42.14\00:16:43.79
did you seek
premarital counseling
00:16:43.82\00:16:46.14
did you your
husband have counseling?
00:16:46.17\00:16:48.68
We did, however he was
not necessarily cooperative.
00:16:48.71\00:16:52.94
One other things
that-- that I think about
00:16:52.97\00:16:55.25
is that you went to all
the trials and tribulations,
00:16:55.28\00:16:59.53
but how did you get through?
00:16:59.56\00:17:01.94
What was the
motivation for you to continue
00:17:01.97\00:17:04.59
to move forward with your life?
00:17:04.62\00:17:06.25
And what was the turning
point that turned you around,
00:17:06.28\00:17:09.47
to put a smile
back on your face?
00:17:09.50\00:17:11.24
Well, after all of this happened
00:17:11.27\00:17:12.80
I was filled with so much hate,
00:17:12.83\00:17:14.65
I hated him, I was
bitter, I was unhappy.
00:17:14.68\00:17:18.50
And my children I started
to see that they weren't happy.
00:17:18.53\00:17:22.40
And I was talking to my cousin
00:17:22.43\00:17:24.70
and she said, you
can't be like this.
00:17:24.73\00:17:27.34
Okay. She took me to church.
00:17:27.37\00:17:29.47
I didn't know
those people from Adam,
00:17:29.50\00:17:31.15
I didn't want to go
that church, but I went.
00:17:31.18\00:17:33.90
And the minister just
started preaching on my story,
00:17:33.93\00:17:38.88
my feelings, my anger,
my hate, my bitterness,
00:17:38.91\00:17:41.89
and how no matter
what people had done,
00:17:41.92\00:17:44.00
what we felt that
they had done to us,
00:17:44.03\00:17:46.06
we felt victimized we are
responsible for our behavior
00:17:46.09\00:17:49.39
and we still have to take
responsibility for our part.
00:17:49.42\00:17:52.79
And I began to
see how I contributed
00:17:52.82\00:17:55.84
to the things that had happen.
00:17:55.87\00:17:59.00
I finally realize that,
00:17:59.03\00:18:00.70
oh, I played a part
in this and a big part.
00:18:00.73\00:18:03.66
I realized that
instead of putting God first,
00:18:03.69\00:18:06.49
just going through the motions,
00:18:06.52\00:18:07.94
instead of having a
relationship with him
00:18:07.97\00:18:09.83
and saying, okay, God
first, husband second.
00:18:09.86\00:18:12.11
I made my husband my God
00:18:12.14\00:18:14.39
and I was manipulating
my situation giving, giving,
00:18:14.42\00:18:18.13
giving to try to
receive love from him
00:18:18.16\00:18:20.70
instead of doing what I need
to do to receive love from God,
00:18:20.73\00:18:23.86
and to be satisfy with Him first
00:18:23.89\00:18:25.52
and to let Him guide my life.
00:18:25.55\00:18:27.29
Its so important
and not to interrupt you
00:18:27.32\00:18:29.77
but its so important as we
see how God can turn us around,
00:18:29.80\00:18:33.51
when we don't see things coming
00:18:33.54\00:18:35.73
that we have to---
first of all admit,
00:18:35.76\00:18:38.15
that there is a problem,
00:18:38.18\00:18:39.22
recognize a
problem, admit the problem
00:18:39.25\00:18:41.37
and get some help to
turn that problem around.
00:18:41.40\00:18:44.21
And that's the only way
00:18:44.24\00:18:45.42
that God can
really save us and help us
00:18:45.45\00:18:48.43
if we're open to
Him turning us around.
00:18:48.46\00:18:51.19
Because we can focus
on being bitter and anger,
00:18:51.22\00:18:54.33
and angry and we're just
we-- we're not moving into it.
00:18:54.36\00:18:58.25
Yes, why-- you know,
that's really important
00:18:58.28\00:19:01.31
what you just said,
we become stagnated.
00:19:01.34\00:19:04.81
I think what also is important
00:19:04.84\00:19:07.30
is the children
suffer from all of this.
00:19:07.33\00:19:11.08
You know, here we go,
we have another father
00:19:11.11\00:19:14.63
that's out of the home
and you have to compensate.
00:19:14.66\00:19:18.06
But one of the things
that you indicated to me
00:19:18.09\00:19:20.06
is that you're
support system is strong.
00:19:20.09\00:19:22.38
Very, very strong.
00:19:22.41\00:19:24.09
And they didn't
sugarcoat anything,
00:19:24.12\00:19:26.04
they didn't baby
me, they just said,
00:19:26.07\00:19:27.99
well, you know what to
do, you need to look to God.
00:19:28.02\00:19:30.56
So that day in
church he spoke my story
00:19:30.59\00:19:34.48
and he said I don't know
who it is in this home today
00:19:34.51\00:19:39.25
I don't know this person,
00:19:39.28\00:19:40.83
I don't know anything about her,
00:19:40.86\00:19:42.92
but God has told
me that she's in need.
00:19:42.95\00:19:45.63
And he took up and offering
and he gave my number to--
00:19:45.66\00:19:49.51
when after the
service he gave my to number
00:19:49.54\00:19:51.35
to everyone in all
the women in the church.
00:19:51.38\00:19:53.68
And everyone called,
everyone prayed for me,
00:19:53.71\00:19:56.81
specifically for my
children specifically,
00:19:56.84\00:19:59.29
and that is how I begin
to see the power of God.
00:19:59.32\00:20:02.54
For the first time I
experienced the Holy Spirit,
00:20:02.57\00:20:05.05
and it was a
feeling like no other
00:20:05.08\00:20:06.37
and I knew that He was there.
00:20:06.40\00:20:08.40
So all the time that I
have been relying on myself,
00:20:08.43\00:20:11.92
I had not been relying on
Him because, I did not know Him.
00:20:11.95\00:20:15.03
And so I called on
His name and every time
00:20:15.06\00:20:18.00
something would
happen my son found out
00:20:18.03\00:20:19.86
that he had epilepsy in January.
00:20:19.89\00:20:21.81
He was having seizures,
grand mal seizures back to back
00:20:21.84\00:20:24.48
in the ICU back to back.
00:20:24.51\00:20:26.33
Had nobody but my
family and I caught on God,
00:20:26.36\00:20:29.09
even when nobody was
there and I realized He's here.
00:20:29.12\00:20:31.28
God is here.
00:20:31.31\00:20:32.36
I can feel Him now. Oh, yes.
00:20:32.39\00:20:33.79
Before I couldn't feel
Him, all like a feel was me.
00:20:33.82\00:20:36.46
And do you think for one minute,
00:20:36.49\00:20:38.58
that God took you
through all of this, to get in--
00:20:38.61\00:20:41.68
God doesn't want
us to be in sorrow.
00:20:41.71\00:20:43.90
But, some time God
says, "Hello, hello."
00:20:43.93\00:20:48.16
And then we don't listen,
00:20:48.19\00:20:49.72
He has to expose us to the point
00:20:49.75\00:20:52.64
where there's
nothing left for us to
00:20:52.67\00:20:55.43
but to look up and find God.
00:20:55.46\00:20:57.46
Well, I think what happens
is He allows things to happen.
00:20:57.49\00:21:01.21
Yes, He allows things,
but He gives us a choice.
00:21:01.24\00:21:02.94
Yes, He does. Yes, you know.
00:21:02.97\00:21:04.02
He does and we have a choice.
00:21:04.05\00:21:05.29
Because along the way,
00:21:05.32\00:21:07.33
you-- we were
given signs to indicate,
00:21:07.36\00:21:12.95
this is not for you
and because we took over,
00:21:12.98\00:21:18.20
our will took
over we didn't allow
00:21:18.23\00:21:22.18
those signs to make
a impact on our lives.
00:21:22.21\00:21:24.41
So everything keeps paying off.
So we just kept moving forward.
00:21:24.44\00:21:26.38
They do well. So
what is Angela doing now?
00:21:26.41\00:21:28.83
All right, tell us
what she is doing now?
00:21:28.86\00:21:30.50
I have learned a lot.
00:21:30.53\00:21:31.75
I can say that when I
say it and like the topic
00:21:31.78\00:21:35.29
that we discussed and
"Didn't See It Coming"
00:21:35.32\00:21:37.75
I can no longer
find any ignorance.
00:21:37.78\00:21:39.82
I had to said, God, why
did You shock me with this?
00:21:39.85\00:21:42.43
Oh, God, why would
You put this on me?
00:21:42.46\00:21:45.11
This just blindsided me.
00:21:45.14\00:21:46.77
And I realize, like Mr.
Arthur was saying, it did not.
00:21:46.80\00:21:50.80
He gave me the
signs, I just didn't see it.
00:21:50.83\00:21:53.18
So there's no, I
didn't see it coming.
00:21:53.21\00:21:55.63
He always will show You,
00:21:55.66\00:21:57.15
and you just have
to be open to listen.
00:21:57.18\00:21:59.43
So now all things are
still happening that are bad.
00:21:59.46\00:22:02.77
This morning my husband said,
people to repossess my car.
00:22:02.80\00:22:06.18
And they did, but you know
what I didn't shed one tear.
00:22:06.21\00:22:09.58
You did not.
00:22:09.61\00:22:10.64
I did not cry one tear
00:22:10.67\00:22:11.71
because I said,
God, you got this.
00:22:11.74\00:22:14.34
And I was not
able to do that before,
00:22:14.37\00:22:16.22
but had I been able to,
00:22:16.25\00:22:17.48
maybe my marriage
could have been saved.
00:22:17.51\00:22:19.16
I was served with
divorce papers last-- last week,
00:22:19.19\00:22:23.08
I went all the
way to Mississippi
00:22:23.11\00:22:24.44
to go to child support court,
00:22:24.47\00:22:26.01
he had an
attorney serve me that day
00:22:26.04\00:22:28.14
and only have
to pay $167 a month
00:22:28.17\00:22:30.74
for both of my children.
00:22:30.77\00:22:32.18
But my family was there,
and when I wanted to loose it,
00:22:32.21\00:22:35.03
they say, where
you supposed to look?
00:22:35.06\00:22:37.08
And I looked and I can feel His
hand of comfort on my shoulder.
00:22:37.11\00:22:40.19
You felt the
power of God? I felt it.
00:22:40.22\00:22:41.71
So now you just
received your certificate.
00:22:41.74\00:22:44.19
And now you got
your certificates
00:22:44.22\00:22:46.12
and as a manicurist--
00:22:46.15\00:22:47.18
Yes, I'm a licensed manicure
in the state of Michigan.
00:22:47.21\00:22:48.98
All right, congratulations.
00:22:49.01\00:22:51.05
Now you also have
desire to go back to school.
00:22:51.08\00:22:53.78
To get your degree in what area?
00:22:53.81\00:22:55.89
Forensic Pathology.
00:22:55.92\00:22:56.96
You still, that
is still your dream.
00:22:56.99\00:22:58.80
And you-- are you
gonna see it through?
00:22:58.83\00:23:00.60
I'm gonna see it through.
00:23:00.63\00:23:01.86
I put it my
application to Wayne State
00:23:01.89\00:23:04.36
and although it
seems impossible no car,
00:23:04.39\00:23:06.40
two babies I know
that what He's done for me,
00:23:06.43\00:23:09.26
so far He has more
than proven himself.
00:23:09.29\00:23:11.42
Oh, yeah. And I
know that He can do this.
00:23:11.45\00:23:13.58
So-- but your
car was repossessed,
00:23:13.61\00:23:17.12
you know, and you
had to go to court
00:23:17.15\00:23:19.80
and you only receive
$167 in child support.
00:23:19.83\00:23:23.91
And, you know, where that could
knock you down to your knees,
00:23:23.94\00:23:28.18
your family was supportive
again by keeping you focused
00:23:28.21\00:23:32.09
and thinking about the
Lord, that was really is major.
00:23:32.12\00:23:35.56
That is and you know,
and when you don't again as--
00:23:35.59\00:23:38.35
as we said, you
don't see things coming
00:23:38.38\00:23:39.98
because you don't
look for the sign,
00:23:40.01\00:23:41.62
God is always speaking to us.
00:23:41.65\00:23:42.68
Absolutely.
00:23:42.71\00:23:43.74
He's always
communicating through His word,
00:23:43.77\00:23:46.30
He sends people to
minister to us, to speak to us,
00:23:46.33\00:23:50.28
but it is up to us to receive
00:23:50.31\00:23:52.34
what God is
trying to get us to do.
00:23:52.37\00:23:54.12
Turn around, don't
keep going down that road
00:23:54.15\00:23:57.77
where it's gonna be a disaster.
00:23:57.80\00:23:59.63
And then you look up and you--
00:23:59.66\00:24:01.21
you put yourself
two years backwards.
00:24:01.24\00:24:04.13
Well, Angela Harris has decided
to go forward in her life.
00:24:04.16\00:24:08.19
She's no longer holding on
to the ex-husband soon to be,
00:24:08.22\00:24:12.34
God will provide
for her children,
00:24:12.37\00:24:14.30
she's going to earn her degree
00:24:14.33\00:24:16.40
and she's gonna be
able to have a testimony--
00:24:16.43\00:24:18.28
well, she has a testimony.
00:24:18.31\00:24:19.82
And I think that's what
is really important here.
00:24:19.85\00:24:22.53
We need to recognize
that through the trials
00:24:22.56\00:24:25.18
and tribulations that
we experience a testimony
00:24:25.21\00:24:28.77
is coming out of our successes.
00:24:28.80\00:24:31.65
God wants us to
share our testimony
00:24:31.68\00:24:34.10
in every possible way,
00:24:34.13\00:24:36.27
so that other people
who maybe going through.
00:24:36.30\00:24:39.05
Some of the experiences
00:24:39.08\00:24:40.12
that you're going
through can benefit,
00:24:40.15\00:24:42.44
they can-- they can
find out and recognize
00:24:42.47\00:24:44.83
that God will pull them through
if they open their heart.
00:24:44.86\00:24:48.26
If they say,
okay, God, you take over
00:24:48.29\00:24:50.74
because everything that
I've done has not worked.
00:24:50.77\00:24:54.01
You know, that's
a powerful thing.
00:24:54.04\00:24:55.40
Everything that
I've done has not worked,
00:24:55.43\00:24:57.69
so I need You to take over now.
00:24:57.72\00:24:59.35
You have to keep eyes on Christ.
00:24:59.38\00:25:01.49
You have to listen
and watch for the signals
00:25:01.52\00:25:05.04
that God sends
us through His word.
00:25:05.07\00:25:06.53
And you can't do it.
Let me tell you something.
00:25:06.56\00:25:09.38
You have to steady
your Word every day,
00:25:09.41\00:25:11.82
no matter what you're
going through, no money,
00:25:11.85\00:25:14.65
don't know how
you're gonna pay your bills,
00:25:14.68\00:25:16.34
don't know where
it's coming from,
00:25:16.37\00:25:17.41
if you stay faithful to
God, He is faithful to you.
00:25:17.44\00:25:21.66
He sends us test,
to see whether or not
00:25:21.69\00:25:24.96
we're gonna trust Him or
we're going to doubt Him.
00:25:24.99\00:25:28.03
Another thing is, you have
to be able to listen to God.
00:25:28.06\00:25:32.64
Listen to God.
00:25:32.67\00:25:33.71
That's really paramount
and we tend not to listen
00:25:33.74\00:25:38.35
because we get trapped in our
own personal self gratification
00:25:38.38\00:25:43.14
and we say well, this
is how I wanted to be,
00:25:43.17\00:25:45.64
this is what I need to do.
00:25:45.67\00:25:47.27
But you can't turn
your back on the Lord
00:25:47.30\00:25:50.24
and not hear what
He is saying to you,
00:25:50.27\00:25:53.44
not be observant of the
signals that He sent it to you.
00:25:53.47\00:25:57.81
That's-- that's mandatory.
00:25:57.84\00:25:59.59
You know, even the
hamburger, that's being for--
00:25:59.62\00:26:02.74
Okay, you can leave that alone.
00:26:02.77\00:26:04.16
Lord say, you know,
this man is not clean,
00:26:04.19\00:26:07.66
this man is not somebody
that I will want you to have
00:26:07.69\00:26:10.86
and that's important.
00:26:10.89\00:26:12.37
And you gonna be
able to recognize,
00:26:12.40\00:26:14.44
when this is time to walk away.
00:26:14.47\00:26:17.53
The one thing, the
most important thing
00:26:17.56\00:26:19.12
that I can say
00:26:19.15\00:26:20.25
is to seek the Lord
first before anything else,
00:26:20.28\00:26:23.11
before all others
and all other things.
00:26:23.14\00:26:25.67
Because if you
don't you can think
00:26:25.70\00:26:27.19
that you know your Bible,
00:26:27.22\00:26:28.74
you can think oh, I
was raised in a church
00:26:28.77\00:26:30.65
I know what to
do, but you don't.
00:26:30.68\00:26:32.62
And to say I
didn't see it coming,
00:26:32.65\00:26:35.44
you would have seen it coming,
00:26:35.47\00:26:37.09
had you asked God
and listen to Him.
00:26:37.12\00:26:39.07
There you go, now you
are in any relationships now?
00:26:39.10\00:26:42.47
No, I'm not and I
don't plan on it unless,
00:26:42.50\00:26:46.41
you know, until I have
gotten close enough to the Lord
00:26:46.44\00:26:49.18
and He feels that I'm
ready for a relationship.
00:26:49.21\00:26:52.28
If He sends a husband
00:26:52.31\00:26:53.60
and another
father for my children
00:26:53.63\00:26:55.89
then I thank Him for it,
00:26:55.92\00:26:56.96
but if He is the only
father that my children have,
00:26:56.99\00:26:59.63
I can accept that and be
thankful for that as well.
00:26:59.66\00:27:02.31
We appreciate you
being so transparent,
00:27:02.34\00:27:04.96
you know, you-- you has
so much energy inside of you
00:27:04.99\00:27:08.19
and we did hear how God
turn this around for you.
00:27:08.22\00:27:12.35
And God turned it around.
00:27:12.38\00:27:14.58
Well, listen, we hope
that you have gained something
00:27:14.61\00:27:17.64
because I truly
have to keep my eyes
00:27:17.67\00:27:20.10
and stay focus on the Lord.
00:27:20.13\00:27:22.00
What about you, Arthur?
His eyes are on the sparrow.
00:27:22.03\00:27:25.95
And I know He watches over me.
00:27:25.98\00:27:29.85
I'm telling you,
00:27:29.88\00:27:31.12
if you're gonna
take care of the sparrow,
00:27:31.15\00:27:33.35
He can take -- He
can take care of you.
00:27:33.38\00:27:34.44
I'm about to preach. Okay.
00:27:34.47\00:27:35.68
I'm about to preach.
00:27:35.71\00:27:36.74
He can take care-- all right,
but I'm not going to preach.
00:27:36.77\00:27:38.52
But listen, I'm
to out-- I mean--
00:27:38.55\00:27:41.03
Praise the Lord. All right.
00:27:41.06\00:27:42.09
I'm Dr. Kim
Logan-Nowlin. I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:27:42.12\00:27:44.47
And thank you, for
watching another program.
00:27:44.50\00:27:48.55
Of "Making It
Work." God bless you.
00:27:48.58\00:27:50.15
God bless you.
00:27:50.18\00:27:51.47