Participants: Arthur Nowlin (Host), Dr Kim Logan-Nowlin (Host), Rodney Cooper, Steven C. Barber
Series Code: MIW
Program Code: MIW000022
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00:01 Hi, I'm Dr Kim Logan-Nowlin. I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:03 And welcome to Making It Work. 00:36 The topic of our program today is... 00:38 Making a Catastrophe. 00:39 We want to welcome our guest today. 00:41 We have Mr. Rodney Cooper of Canton, Michigan 00:44 and Mr. Steve Barbra of Detroit, Michigan. 00:47 Welcome to Making It Work. 00:49 Thank you. Thanks for having us. 00:50 All right, guys, one of the things 00:52 that I'm really interested in 00:53 and we've talked about it before is, 00:56 issues dealing with African-American men. 00:58 You know, and some of the things 01:00 that are taking place with our African-American men 01:03 is devastating. 01:06 It appears that everywhere I go 01:09 that's a concern with everybody. 01:11 You know, when we're talking about 01:13 our fathers not being in home. 01:16 African men being incarcerated, you now, consistently. 01:20 Right now I think the prison system 01:22 is like 80% African-American men. 01:24 So you need to give us some solutions 01:28 on how to deal with these issues. 01:31 I think sometimes when we talk about solutions 01:34 we have remedies and formulas 01:37 that take place but the ultimate solution is 01:41 I would believe for our African-American young men 01:45 is to seek God first. 01:46 I believe that seeking God first. 01:49 And a lot of the times in our homes, 01:51 I've talked with Steve a lot of the times 01:53 about the gatekeeper. 01:55 When the gatekeeper leaves the home, 01:58 that means that he is allowed-- 02:00 the father has allowed his home to be left vacant 02:03 without his presence or his input 02:07 and when the gatekeeper is away, 02:09 the Devil, Satan himself enters into the home 02:12 and just wreaks havoc throughout the entire home. 02:14 So those are some those things. 02:16 Right, and I agree with Rodney 02:18 because men especially young men will seek to mold 02:22 or model themselves after something. 02:24 You know, we see that so when the father's not home, 02:26 sometimes or most times they model after the mother, 02:29 that's in the house alone. 02:30 And we wind up with, you know, 02:32 something we want to look not little peculiar at. 02:35 So after that if not then, you know, 02:38 we have the rap, you know aspect-- 02:40 Culture. 02:41 We have like hip-hop culture, 02:43 we have rappers, we have basketball stars, 02:46 we have political figures, 02:49 all these people that are almost 02:50 push in front of them to say, 02:52 you need to be like this man, you need to be like that man, 02:55 but the man that God put there for them 02:57 some model in the first place 02:58 being their father is not there. 03:01 Want to take it back a minute. 03:03 I hear you talking about responsibility to young men, 03:06 having guarding eyes. 03:07 Can you tell us, who you are, your history, 03:10 and your background, and what, you know, 03:13 what empowers you to be able 03:15 to talk about this with such passion? 03:17 Oh, I think sometimes when you are brought forth 03:21 when you all came to me 03:22 to actually do this type of program, 03:24 I think you have to have some sort of experience in that 03:28 and we just did a program at our church 03:30 last week on blended families, 03:31 and I have a lot of experience in that over the past 13 years, 03:36 so being a father 03:38 and being the second father to some young men 03:42 or and actually in that situation was a daughter. 03:44 I found myself having to find solutions 03:48 as Arthur talked about 03:50 and being able to make decisions for my household, 03:55 and then who to seek, when I'm making those decision 03:57 instead of trying to make them on my own, 04:00 I needed to seek the Lord. 04:01 So I just do that most of the time. 04:04 Okay, but, Rodney, you have a company. 04:05 Yes, I do. 04:06 And why did you start this company? 04:08 What's the name of your company? 04:09 The name of the company is, The Cooper Agency 04:11 and we do for the Detroit Public Schools 04:14 and surrounding areas, intervention programs. 04:17 What are those intervention programs? 04:18 We deal with conflict resolution, 04:21 cultural competency. 04:22 When you're talking about cultural competency, 04:24 our teachers in the educational arena 04:28 don't necessarily know how to deal with 04:31 as they call it the urban child, 04:33 so The Cooper Agency goes in and trains teachers on. 04:37 How to make connections, 04:39 I think that's the biggest thing making connections. 04:41 Our students are failing standardized tests 04:45 because they can't get the word. 04:47 They're failing because the teachers 04:49 are not making connections with students 04:51 and when you're able to make connections with students, 04:53 I think students see through all of that 04:57 and they begin to connect with you too, 04:58 and that enables them to learn, 05:00 so I've been doing that now for 05:01 probably the last year and a half now. 05:04 With the situation that happened. 05:06 Yeah, and I understand that perspective, 05:08 you know, but still we also deal with knowing them 05:11 not making the connection, 05:13 we deal with them not wanting to make a connection. 05:16 You know, because this is at a point now, 05:18 I think a lot of teachers are frustrated, 05:20 when we're talking about dealing with 05:22 you know, African-American males 05:24 and especially if they don't have 05:27 some stability in the household. 05:29 We deal with lot of issues where they really 05:32 have a hard time addressing those issues. 05:35 And maybe because of some medical reasons like ADHD, 05:40 instead of saying that they need to be medicating, 05:43 can we really have them evaluated just to deter 05:45 if they have ADHD or if they don't. 05:51 I again, I continue to talk with educators 05:54 and principals throughout this region. 05:58 And it is not the children, 06:00 I think and it's not the children, 06:02 they are going to learn, 06:03 these children have been learning 06:05 historically for the past 40 or 50 years, 06:08 they've been the same child. 06:09 Now, we can say that they've changed differently, 06:11 but have our methods change, 06:13 so I think that we as educators 06:15 and as we as adults need to revamp 06:18 how it is that we are presenting ourselves 06:21 to our students, 06:22 so that they'll be able to learn 06:23 and that also helps me as a parent 06:25 and this entire ball of wax 06:28 when we talk about the educational system. 06:30 Well, I see, Barber, tell us your background 06:33 and also you know you are men's ministry leader 06:36 for the Lake Region Conference. 06:38 Of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, 06:40 can you tell us about your background, and your history? 06:42 Well, my background is almost the identical 06:45 of probably 80% of some of your viewers 06:47 they gonna be watching, 06:49 which is I grew up with a father not in home. 06:52 And my mentorship was really lacking, 06:55 you know, in the beginning, I wasn't a troubled child, 06:58 but I was withdrawn child. 06:59 You know, I did not know how to respond to men, 07:01 I did not know how to get in there 07:03 and, you know, talk about basketball, 07:06 talk about sports, talk about man things. 07:08 I would always be in the background 07:10 holding up a wall, 07:11 I was afraid to talk to a young lady, 07:13 I'm afraid to approach the boy, 07:15 you know, the fellows and just shoot the-- 07:17 shoot the proverbial, you know, words. 07:19 Right. 07:20 And you know, it hindered me, 07:22 but I had a lot of mentors, strong mentors 07:27 that actually decided they wanted to take me 07:29 under their wing, one of them being William Slayton, 07:32 great man-- great man here. 07:34 He is a older man, he'd always see me. 07:36 If he saw me leaning up against the wall, 07:38 he'd always come up, 07:39 pull me up off the wall with his words, 07:41 you know, just talking it's all standing out straight, 07:43 as then I go talk among these pretty young-- 07:45 pretty young girls up in here. 07:46 No, I'm no-- I don't know how to introduce. 07:48 You just walk up and say something 07:49 and that's really all it took 07:51 was the walk up and say something. 07:52 So social skills? That's important. 07:54 Exactly and I didn't know how to do that, 07:56 I didn't have somebody there to teach me how to do that. 07:59 Okay, let me stop you there, 08:00 you know, Arthur, when we talk about social skills 08:03 and we talk about interaction with young men, 08:06 we don't have these kind of programs in our church. 08:09 You know, we don't see 08:11 these kind of mentorship programs in our church. 08:13 Why don't we have these type of programs in the church 08:15 where we can teach social skills 08:17 and prepare them for, you know, the right of passage. 08:21 Why is that missing in our church? 08:22 I think it's important when you think about it, 08:24 Kim, it's a-- 08:26 A lot of times we don't have 08:27 the people in place that are capable, 08:31 I'm really demonstrating that the mentoring ship 08:35 and then we're talking about also a time factor 08:39 that's involved, a lot of people 08:41 will put church programs on a back burner 08:45 and they don't feel that, they feel that maybe possibly 08:48 they go to church once a week to deal with 08:50 whatever issue they deal with 08:51 and when they go home that's it-- that's it, 08:53 but when you talk about mentoring ship, 08:55 you're talking about 24/7. 08:58 You know, I mean you may not have 08:59 to deal with that child in those particular, 09:01 in that particular timeframe. 09:03 But you're talking about being available. 09:05 You know, especially when we're dealing with crisis. 09:08 So that's really important. Okay. 09:09 And what you do as far as bringing the church together, 09:14 to address issue. 09:16 That's good, it needs to be done by the males, 09:21 and not just by the females 09:22 'cause a lot of our programs in the church today, 09:25 I hear about females. 09:26 I'm glad, you said that too 09:28 because, when you say the males, 09:30 you know, you chose that word so correctly 09:33 because there's a difference between male boy and man. 09:36 You know and male is just a child 09:38 who comes out of the womb and the doctor says 09:41 it's a male child 09:42 because of his gender specific-- specificity. 09:46 He becomes a boy when he starts challenging things. 09:49 He becomes a man when he's securing these things. 09:51 People name you a man, you can't name yourself a man, 09:55 people identify with you as being, 09:57 now that's a good man. 09:58 You know, right there that's a good man over there, 10:00 but if they look at you, 10:02 okay, you still have some growing to do. 10:04 It's a culture thing. 10:06 In Africa, you know, when they had the boys 10:08 become men through the rights of passage. 10:10 All the men laid hands on him and acknowledge them to be man. 10:13 We don't do that nowadays. We say you're 21 you're a man. 10:16 You know, the father leave the home, 10:18 they put this on incredible pressure on boys, 10:20 they say, you're the man of the house now. 10:22 He doesn't know what it's like. 10:23 He doesn't know what he's going to be going through. 10:25 So now that gatekeeper's going, 10:27 he has to make up or adopts anything 10:29 that he can perceive to be a man. 10:31 Now where do they adapted from? 10:33 That's being specific, they adapted from the media, 10:37 from TV, from videos 10:39 and which can create a major problem. 10:42 I'm not saying all programs 10:43 in the television programs are bad, 10:46 but a lot of the things that our youth adopt, 10:49 you know, it seems to be questionable, 10:51 when which you agree or disagree? 10:52 I totally agree with that. 10:53 What we've failed to do, 10:56 when you've talked of mentoring, 11:00 the elongated, the process 11:03 where we begin to talk to them about 11:05 what it is that they need to do, 11:07 we don't follow up with that situation, 11:10 so if it's a program, if it's a whatever 11:12 the 12 step or 12 week program, 11:14 we do those and then on week 13, 11:16 we don't hear or see more from that, 11:19 we don't-- I'm trying to think of the word 11:21 the--what happens in the long period of time, 11:24 should I check back with you in 6 months. 11:26 The follow up surely with that, 11:28 so that we can have some type of follow through 11:32 and some feedback on how you're doing, 11:34 we don't do that, we cannot leave you all, 11:36 if this right of passage, now that you're through, 11:39 what now that you've made it in through this right of passage 11:42 that usually is it for the mentoring. 11:44 And mentoring is a long term situation. 11:48 When you mentoring right of passage, 11:51 I'm really-- I guess, I'm motivated to think 11:55 that we can implement a program like that in our churches today 12:00 because some churches are doing it. 12:02 A lot of churches are not doing it. 12:06 And it's only because I seriously believe 12:09 that they don't hold as being important. 12:13 You know, and that's a good and powerful program 12:16 when you're dealing with a young--young child, 12:19 that's crossing over into a particular age 12:22 and you're providing him with some type of support 12:25 and to let him know what options are available to him. 12:28 That's right. Yes. 12:29 Also one of the aspect that I've come to learn 12:32 because I've been doing men's ministry for 20 plus years. 12:35 And it's a science that really needs or ministry 12:39 that really need more ministry. 12:41 The answer toward is sample, it's Christ. 12:43 It's Jesus Christ. Sure. 12:44 You look at that example He is all the man you need, 12:47 all the man you need to be. 12:48 Following His steps. That's right. 12:50 Exactly, but what we're dealing with 12:52 especially with men in leadership, 12:53 who wants their males in leadership. 12:55 Sometimes we're dealing with hurt individuals, 12:57 sometimes we're dealing with-- with people with great power, 13:01 great responsibility and great authority, 13:05 but does not have that approval of the community 13:08 that lay their hands on and say, you are now a man. 13:11 So what they're doing is they're winning it, 13:13 and it was okay for me, so why not let it be okay for-- 13:16 for the rest of the men or let it not be okay 13:18 for the rest of the boys. 13:20 Something, so we have people-- it's a disconnect, 13:23 they show the importance of acknowledging 13:26 our young men to be men, 13:27 but also our grown men to be men. 13:29 I think that we even go after the grown man 13:32 and say that, we acknowledge you as a man 13:34 that will relieves a whole lot of things, 13:36 marriages will be saved, children would be-- 13:39 would have their father's back in the home, 13:41 it would be so much-- so much going on. 13:45 A father doesn't have to have a divorce 13:46 and get kicked out the home, not to be there. 13:49 You know he can be spiritually disconnected, 13:51 he can be emotionally disconnected, 13:52 he could just be a body there. 13:54 And that's what we have this thing, 13:55 we were talking earlier about the second commandment, 13:57 on how the iniquity follows the fathers 14:00 and it follows the children. 14:01 You're right. Into the third and fourth. 14:03 Oh, yes. That's right. 14:04 That something else that we need to look at. 14:06 We really need to look at it, 14:07 and I have been thoroughly convinced 14:11 that men need to adopt the new name 14:14 and that is cursed breakers 14:16 because men need to acknowledge, 14:19 what it is that's generational curses in our past 14:23 something that we probably 14:24 didn't have nothing to do with it. 14:25 That's powerful though, you know, 14:27 when you're talking about curse breakers. 14:29 You know, that's really powerful 14:31 and that's something to consider. 14:34 I want to go back to something that you said earlier, 14:37 you know, and that was in regards 14:39 to females raising male child-- children. 14:43 You know, I've seen where females 14:47 have been successful in raising male children, 14:50 so I mean, when I think about it, 14:54 there are certain values that anybody 14:57 can have to implement in a child's rearing. 15:00 Yes. Yes. 15:02 So I mean, if a female may 15:05 not have the male present in the home, 15:07 but if she demonstrate the good values, 15:09 the good character and-- 15:11 and if she's also wise enough to recognize 15:14 that she may need support, you know, I say, 15:17 that they can be raised to be really great, 15:21 powerful and studious in all those areas 15:25 where he's going to be a successful child. 15:27 Dr. Ben Carson is the perfect example. 15:29 He was raised by his mother. Yes. 15:31 He's a phenomenal person, 15:33 but the thing is where God puts man and woman together, 15:36 and name that very good. 15:37 Absolutely. 15:38 Who are we to say, what is there to. 15:40 Where could Ben Carson had been 15:41 if his father had been there. 15:43 You know, we want to give the acknowledgement of every-- 15:46 of the-- not the complete, 15:49 but the raising and the rearing 15:50 of the children by a single parent, 15:51 who have the fathers or mothers 15:53 positive role models in the front-- 15:55 I give all credits to my mother. 15:56 Amen, I applaud you, 15:57 I give all credits to my father, amen, 15:59 I applaud you, but what would have been 16:01 if God had been in the center 16:04 and the husband and wife cohesion, 16:08 you know, would have been there. 16:10 How much more? 16:11 How long-- you say, I give credit to my father. 16:14 Well, how long did it take you to give credit to your father 16:16 because he was out at home? 16:18 My father? Yeah. 16:19 It's a-- it's took years. Yeah. 16:21 I have a 7 year old daughter and I think she turned two 16:25 before the process of forgiving him was complete. 16:29 Because he didn't want-- he walked away 16:32 when I was-- when I was four, 16:34 the divorce was final was when I was seven, 16:36 you know, it took a lot longer back then to get a divorce. 16:39 So I didn't know, when I was hurting, 16:42 you know, I was really hurting in that-- in that situation. 16:45 When you know, he will want to come by and pick us up, 16:48 but he never did. 16:49 You know, I remember one time he came by, 16:51 we want him to get a Mother's Day gift 16:52 for our mom, he went out, we brought her a nice watch, 16:55 came back, and presented it to her, 16:58 happy Mother's Day. 16:59 Years later my mother told me 17:01 I gave him the money for that watch 17:03 so you wouldn't be disappointed on him 17:05 not buying some before he had no money. 17:08 You know-- you know, today's society, 17:10 you find that women are stepping up to the plate, 17:13 they have to because the men are in prison, 17:16 they are not in the forefront. 17:19 However there are lot of good mothers 17:21 in raising their sons and like he said, 17:24 Ben Carson is a prime example 17:26 and there are many, many more. 17:28 But at the same time we do need our fathers 17:31 or mentorship programs, our pastors, good men. 17:35 Kind hearted man, sensitive men 17:38 to be able to see. 17:39 If you see a void, 17:41 to be able to step up and say, feel that boy. 17:44 You know, I shouldn't have to have someone 17:46 to come up with some special program 17:47 to tell me there's a void here, I see this child every week. 17:51 I need to feel that boy, 17:53 go to that mother and say, what can I do? 17:54 Doesn't the Bible say? That's right. 17:56 That we have to take care of those 17:58 who are widowed and those-- The widows and the fatherless. 17:59 Yes, and the father that's-- that's the word of God. 18:02 So why we're sitting back waiting for? 18:04 Why we're sitting back waiting for, gentlemen? 18:06 Well, like I said before a lot of times-- 18:08 I'm sorry, Cooper. Okay. 18:09 Yeah. 18:10 We're dealing with hurt individuals again. 18:12 You know, what's to say that-- 18:14 the mother has not been hurt by Leroy Jenkins, 18:18 just you know, just saying name. 18:20 And she is repulsed or angry at all men Bitter. 18:25 Yeah. At all men. 18:27 So when I want to come and say, hey, you, sir-- 18:30 let me tell you, show you how to tie, tie a tie. 18:32 I can show him how to tie a tie. 18:34 You know, I can do this. 18:35 We have, we did a program at our church for a while 18:39 and a woman say, I raised my son, 18:41 he's a good man and I acknowledge him, 18:43 he doesn't need a father. 18:45 And I said, well, every man needs a father. 18:49 I said, a man cannot raise a daughter by himself 18:52 and she be complete so a woman cannot raise a son by herself 18:57 and he be complete. 18:58 She knows how to show him how to give love, 19:02 but the woman's job, the wife's job, 19:04 a mother's job is to show the son by observance, 19:07 how to receive love from husband. 19:09 So if you had not begun your healing, 19:11 your daughter was two years old, 19:12 you have a son now, you have a male child. 19:14 Yes. 19:15 Is your father in his life and is are you and your father, 19:20 you know, in a relationship now where, 19:23 you know this curse can be broken. 19:24 Okay, well, my father has died, 19:26 my father has passed when my daughter 19:29 was about three years old. 19:30 He had multiple myeloma, he never saw her, 19:33 but I had begun the process 19:35 when my wife was pregnant with her to actually heal that. 19:38 He was down in Florida and I was up here 19:42 and he wanted to-- and he didn't reach out to me, 19:46 I reached out to him. 19:47 I said somebody has to do, you know, 19:49 more somebody has to be the-- the bigger person. 19:52 And not to be vain about a little bit, 19:55 but I called him 19:57 and I have a two hour conversation with him 19:59 and myself on in the car. 20:01 Not about, I want to forgive you, 20:03 I want to tell, we're just-- just talked. 20:05 We just talk about anything, the weather down in Florida, 20:08 how things are going up here, 20:10 you know, you're going to be a grandfather again 20:13 this and a lot, but we talked for two hours 20:16 after that I felt so much more comfortable 20:18 that I was able to videotape my daughter. 20:21 You know, mid night feedings, her learning to crawl, 20:24 just looking around eyes wide open 20:26 and I will send him the videotapes. 20:28 That made his day. That made his day. 20:31 He will call back almost crying because he's like, 20:35 she's so beautiful, she's so this, 20:37 she needs to know her grandfather, 20:38 I said, yeah, I agree with it, but trying to get down her dad, 20:41 things are a little tight here we're trying to do 20:43 and I'll just send him videotapes. 20:45 When the Pistons won the championship, 20:46 I send him a baseball cap and t-shirt, 20:49 he was in the hospital having a cancer treatment. 20:51 He said, that brighten him up, 20:53 you know, as soon as he saw that, 20:55 he put the hat on, 20:56 he had his wife put the shirt on him 20:58 because he didn't have the strength to do it. 20:59 He just sat there grinning. 21:02 What I need to do is to go back 21:05 to what we discussed earlier. 21:07 Sure. 21:08 Solutions, you know, what kind of solutions 21:11 can we come up with? 21:12 We've got to be willing 21:15 when you talk of mentoring programs 21:17 and we've got to be available. 21:19 A solution is being available, you talk of leadership roles, 21:23 those that are in leadership positions within the church, 21:26 the solution is stepping up and stepping out 21:29 and becoming very transparent. 21:32 Making availing yourself to say, 21:35 I know what you've gone through and I am going to step up 21:39 and make a connection with you 21:41 so that I can begin mentoring you. 21:44 And what mentoring means 21:45 and the word I was looking for was the sustainability. 21:48 We've got to be able to see the sustainability, 21:50 when I talk with you in 5 years and that's the greater reward, 21:55 so the solution is surely seek God and I mean, 21:58 really earnestly seek God. 22:01 And the next, one of the next things 22:02 is to make yourself available. 22:05 We have gotten become-- 22:06 we've become so distracted with worldly things 22:11 that right in our churches, right up under our noses, 22:13 our children are turning to the world, 22:16 instead of turning to Man of God or even ladies, 22:18 women of God too, actually see what we can do. 22:22 And the one thing that Steve talked about that 22:24 that I wanted to piggyback on what is happening with us 22:26 is we can't find solutions because, 22:30 we are harboring what has taken place. 22:34 We have not recognized or made the acknowledgement that-- 22:37 okay, that did happen to me, that did happen 22:40 but I need to now make the connection 22:42 with the Lord and say, Lord help me with this 22:44 as I move forward in raising that child. 22:47 I would have to disagree with you. 22:49 A woman can raise a child by herself 22:52 with God though and a father can raise 22:54 his daughter with God, but he has to-- 22:58 we talked in my sermon at this past week of let that go, 23:01 connect with God, and He knows 23:03 what's going on with your situation. 23:05 And allow me to move forward. 23:07 Give me the ability to raise this situation. 23:10 So availability, seeking God, 23:12 those are two solutions that I could say right now, 23:15 we're doing that. 23:16 You know, how many times 23:18 we have to make ourselves available, we're parents. 23:20 And no matter how old our children become, 23:23 we have to still make ourselves available to them. 23:25 We have to make ourselves available 23:27 as parents in this relationship 23:29 so that they have a firm foundation 23:31 and children need that. 23:33 Children need to see the stability, 23:34 I agree with Barber. 23:36 We talked about the stability 23:37 and the longevity of our relationship. 23:40 We got to give our children hope, 23:42 we got to give our families hope 23:44 and this is why the church 23:45 is so important to have different roles 23:47 and leadership set. 23:49 And so when they-- you know, I-- 23:50 I guarantee you when Justin's, 23:52 Justin sees you on that pulpit, 23:54 he is just filled with pride to see you serve. 23:57 Your children's did, I know, how Aaron is with us. 24:01 You know those are my parents serving God's church. 24:04 They're in leadership. 24:06 And In process of being in leadership, 24:09 what happens is so many people get caught up 24:11 in the leadership perspective. 24:13 And they forget about-- Your child. 24:14 Yeah, they forget about them. 24:16 You know, you don't demonstrate the nurturing, 24:20 the sensitivity, the caring that they require. 24:23 So I mean, that's what happened to a lot of us. 24:26 We get caught up and being this person 24:29 and many times-- 24:30 The people get caught up. 24:31 We get caught up to the point where we could be this person, 24:34 and give other people advice and we forget about our family. 24:38 And we just said that last time, 24:39 we must continue to nurture our children. 24:42 I say we're good in my, 24:43 Arthur and I took family life and we allow our family 24:47 and we allow our children look by the ways, 24:49 you know, our family is whatever is in need. 24:52 So I agree with that. 24:53 I think what has happened we also see this. 24:56 Once there's truth being given, 24:58 when we begin to provide truth to our young people, 25:01 we've got to understand 25:02 that the devil comes right behind us. 25:04 So as you are ministering 25:06 and as we are ministering right behind that, 25:08 he is like, yeah, go serve the people outside your church 25:12 while she is in her room. 25:14 Crying about something that you have not dealt with-- 25:17 Go through that true. 25:18 From four years ago that she is upset with you 25:20 and that gatekeeper you've-- 25:22 yeah, you're serving, but you've left your home. 25:24 I know I've left my home 25:25 and I'm not dealing with an issue 25:28 with my wife from years ago 25:30 that we can't seem to get in the right direction 25:33 and in the family has the cloud over, 25:36 and then that same situation comes into to our church 25:38 so it becomes a trickle down 25:39 a family sometimes not realizing. 25:41 When we look at you know. We see cycle. 25:43 Inability to communicate 25:45 and I think one of you guys were saying 25:47 that we have to be transparent? 25:49 Yes. 25:50 You know, and that's so important especially 25:52 when we're talking to our children. 25:54 Let them know that we made mistakes, 25:57 so they don't have this false pretense of who-- 26:00 who they think we really are. 26:02 You know, so it's a real consistent balance, 26:05 so you know, you guys have to be commended 26:08 because I know you-- 26:09 you both are constantly on the battlefield. 26:13 Yes. 26:15 And it's not something that's going away. 26:18 No. No. 26:19 You know, you know, we got to be innovative 26:21 and come up with some new ideas consistently 26:25 and it takes a special drive, 26:27 a special motivation for you to deal with these issues 26:31 and most importantly to be consistent at. 26:34 I want to say, your consistency, 26:37 I want to say that both these gentlemen are married, 26:40 they have children, they have responsibilities, 26:43 they have their individual businesses, 26:45 they are very faithful to God's church 26:48 and they're here with us today on Making It Work. 26:50 Because they're trying to Making It Work. 26:53 Closing comments in our last two minutes. 26:56 Go, Steve. Yeah, just-- 26:58 Okay, we want to really focus on the gatekeeper 27:01 and the curse breaker-- 27:03 Now it's time to build up men instead of tearing men down. 27:06 We need to uplift and we need to support men and their ideas, 27:11 and their drive, and their passions, 27:12 and their ministry. 27:14 Because every man has a ministry. 27:15 Every man is a minister, you know, of his house. 27:17 When God come-- 27:19 when Christ comes in the clouds of great glory, 27:21 who is He going to come to, to say, where is that treasure? 27:23 Where is that investment? 27:24 Where is that stewardship that I gave you? 27:27 That to entrust to me, you know, 27:29 Joseph was made the chief steward of Egypt. 27:32 Christ made us chief stewards of our homes 27:34 in our communities, in our churches. 27:35 We must maintain that. Exactly. 27:37 Sure. 27:38 We are trying to continue to provide that need 27:44 and that's what all this is when we talk about 27:46 these things in our churches, 27:47 there's a need that we have to first deal with. 27:50 Once I provide the need 27:52 then I'm gonna give you some word, 27:54 and that means the word of God. 27:55 So if you're hungry in our communities, 27:57 around our churches if you're hungry and you need a meal, 28:00 we want to give you that, but once you come in, 28:02 we've got to reach out making ourselves available, 28:05 extend ourselves a little bit. 28:06 We've been kind of laying back in the spiritual cut 28:09 for some time and now there needs to be some dealings 28:13 with our community and get the word of God out there. 28:16 Well, we definitely got a lot to cover in this. 28:18 Well, listen that we hope, 28:20 that you have gained some information 28:21 that's going to help you and pull your family together. 28:25 Listen, I'm Dr Kim Logan Nowlin. 28:26 I'm Arthur Nowlin. 28:28 And continue to Making It Work. 28:29 God bless you. |
Revised 2015-05-11