Participants: Arthur Nowlin (Host), Dr Kim Logan-Nowlin (Host), Jami Vaughn
Series Code: MIW
Program Code: MIW000016
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00:01 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
00:02 And I'm Arthur Nowlin. 00:03 Welcome to "making it work." 00:37 Welcome back to "making it work." 00:40 Arthur, you know in today's society, 00:42 there are women who are longing 00:47 to have a good full life. 00:51 I was one of those women, I still am. 00:53 Okay. 00:54 Well, on today's program, we want to talk about 00:56 remembering Julian. 00:58 And I want to welcome our special guest, Jami Vaughn. 01:01 All right. 01:02 Jami, welcome to "making it work." 01:04 How are you doing? Yes, definitely. 01:05 I'm doing very well. Thank you. 01:07 Thank you so much for being with us. 01:08 Well, we want to talk about you 01:11 and then tell our viewing audience about Julian. 01:15 Let's talk about Jami Vaughn. 01:16 Tells us about who you are 01:18 and little bit about your childhood and your education. 01:21 Okay, I grew up in a nuclear family 01:24 with my mother, my father and my brother. 01:27 Okay. 01:28 And my brother and I weren't very close at first, 01:32 but we're very close now. 01:34 And I went to high school 01:36 and I went to Eastern Michigan University 01:38 and graduated with a bachelor's degree of science. 01:40 All right. 01:41 And currently I'm at University of the Rockies, 01:44 earning my master's degree which I'll be graduating 01:46 in October with Honors. 01:49 And I plan to pursue my doctor's degree, 01:52 but first I'm gonna go for my LPC, 01:57 Licensed Professional Counselor. 01:58 And we'll see what happens from there. 02:00 I tell you, I'm meeting a lot of future LPC, 02:03 Licensed Professional Counselor. 02:05 Well, let's talk about your relation with your mom. 02:09 You have a good one with your mother? 02:11 Yes. All right. 02:12 What do you all do together? 02:16 We sometimes go out to eat. 02:19 She likes to cook a lot so, she has a lot of barbecues. 02:22 I'm always over to her house. 02:23 Okay. Great. 02:25 We sometimes play golf. 02:26 Okay. Oh-oh. 02:28 What did you say? You are a golfer, Jami. 02:31 I used to be, but she's trying to get me back into it. 02:33 Did you like the game? 02:35 Yes and no. 02:37 Okay, but you also ride a motorcycle also. 02:40 Yes, I do. 02:41 You know, Jami-- and she has that, 02:42 what is that, what is that? 02:43 My helmet. Your helmet and everything. 02:46 I mean the leather jacket, everything. 02:48 Did your mom-- 02:49 Are you in a motorcycle gang? 02:51 No. 02:52 Do they really say motorcycle gang or clubs? 02:54 Clubs. Thank you so much, clubs. 02:57 Excuse me, Kim. 02:58 Okay, you know, do you-- does your mother ride? 03:00 No. Okay. 03:01 Oh, you said-- She's terrified. 03:02 You know, I had an accident on the motorcycle once, 03:05 and it really-- It devastated me. 03:06 Did it mess up your head? 03:08 No, it did not, all right. 03:09 You know, you've got jokes today. 03:11 I'm just asking, you know, because-- 03:12 But it did mess me, my body. 03:15 Motorcycle accidents usually can cause damage to your head. 03:19 Head injuries. Yes. 03:20 But, no, I was blessed. Okay, this is-- 03:22 But didn't hit you that hard. What you see is what you get. 03:25 All right. 03:26 So we're just thankful for that. 03:27 You've recovery though. Am I recovering? 03:29 Oh, yes. 03:30 You know, you know, don't we just love Arthur. 03:32 But let's get back to Jami. 03:34 Jami remembering Julian, I want to talk about your life, 03:39 okay, and some of the things that you've experienced. 03:41 You grew up in a nuclear family where mother and father 03:46 were married and your parents were divorced. 03:49 How old were you when your parents got divorced? 03:51 13. You were 13. 03:52 What's that do to you? 03:54 I was very confused, but I was pretty mature at 13. 03:59 Yes. 04:00 And I still was able to see my father every Wednesdays 04:03 and every other weekend. 04:05 Okay. 04:06 So now during this process, you were able to see him, 04:11 spend time with him 04:12 and you always wanted to be with him. 04:15 Always want to be around him still? 04:16 Yes. Okay. 04:18 Now let me ask you this. 04:19 During the process you met someone, okay, 04:23 and you became sexually active. 04:26 Yes. Okay. 04:27 You are not married. 04:29 What did that do to your relationship 04:31 because something happened with your relation with God, 04:34 but something happened when you became sexually active? 04:37 Tell us what happened? 04:42 I actually found out, well, my instincts told me 04:45 that something was going on with my body, 04:48 but I wasn't really paying attention. 04:50 So one day I decided to wake up in the morning 04:53 and start to take a pregnancy test 04:55 and it said that I was pregnant and I was in disbelief 04:59 because I've always wanted a child. 05:01 I've had maternal instincts since I was a child 05:04 maybe about seven. 05:05 Why did you always want a child even being single? 05:09 Yes. Okay being a Christian? 05:11 Okay and they would call that being out of order 05:14 because you weren't married. 05:15 Right. 05:16 I mean, we can be transparent here. 05:17 So you always wanted to have a child, all right. 05:20 Yes, and so I was a little nervous at first 05:25 and I wasn't sure exactly what to do. 05:27 So I called a friend of mine and told her 05:30 and I was really ecstatic like, what do I do and she said, 05:34 well, you need to make a doctor's appointment. 05:36 So I made an appointment with my obstetrician 05:39 and the next day, I went in and saw her. 05:43 And she-- I was given another test and she said, 05:47 yes, you're pregnant, right away. 05:48 And I, I almost cried. 05:51 You almost cried, you were so happy. 05:52 Yes. All right. 05:53 Did you go and tell your family right away? 05:56 I went straight into work and I told my co-workers 06:00 and my mother and my aunt. 06:02 And their mouths hit the floor. 06:05 Okay, okay. 06:06 Yes. All right. 06:08 What about the dad, you know? 06:09 I told him when I found out I was five weeks pregnant, 06:14 very early on. 06:15 And I told him and he wasn't sure exactly what to do 06:19 and I told him, well, we weren't really 06:23 in a relationship and whatever you want to do is fine. 06:27 I'm not gonna force you to be around 06:28 if you don't want to be around. 06:30 So he wasn't that enthusiastic about the child. 06:34 No. Okay. 06:35 All right. What was his decision? 06:38 He said walk away. 06:40 Okay. He walked away. 06:41 From the relationship and everything? 06:43 We were not in relationship to be honest. 06:46 And to walk away from the child. 06:47 Okay, so you accepted that and you've to move on. 06:51 Okay. Then what happened? 06:53 Then I went about my pregnancy. 06:56 I had a very healthy very normal one. 06:59 I was just so happy. 07:00 Every day I was like, wow, this can't be true. 07:02 You know, there's a baby growing inside me. 07:05 And when I went to my first ultrasound, 07:07 it really kicked in. 07:09 So I was able to see a baby on a screen, 07:11 and heard the heartbeat and everything. 07:14 And then when I went to my second ultrasound 07:16 that's when I found out that I was having a boy 07:18 and I was very, very happy because last year I experienced 07:23 a very traumatic loss, I lost my father. 07:26 Oh, I'm sorry. 07:27 And I just-- I lost it but some part of me said 07:31 you have to keep going on. 07:33 Yes, yes. 07:34 So-- And this was when I found out about November 07:38 that I was having a boy. 07:39 Okay. 07:40 And then I started doing the mommy thing, you know, 07:42 decorating the nursery and buying a crib 07:45 and certain little clothes. 07:46 I wanted to buy everything. 07:48 I didn't even want to wait for the baby shower. 07:52 In December I decided to pick the name Julian. 07:54 My family just absolutely loved it. 07:57 Well, before that I decided to take a trip to Chicago, 08:00 where my family is to tell them 08:01 because I don't want to tell them at first 08:03 because I want to get through my trimester 08:05 to make sure that everything was okay. 08:06 Yes. 08:08 And when I told them, they were just so overjoyed. 08:11 It was amazing. Okay. 08:13 And everything just went from there. 08:16 Still, everything was normal, 08:17 went to every doctor's appointment 08:19 and I was eating healthy and I was just enjoying life. 08:22 I couldn't have been happier. 08:24 Okay and then what happened? 08:26 And then, February came around. 08:32 I went to the holidays with my family 08:34 and on the 5th, it was a normal day. 08:38 I did a little bit of shopping and went to bed that night. 08:42 And about 2 o'clock in the morning 08:43 I woke up with a really bad pain. 08:45 And I had been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions 08:48 and that's what I thought it was 08:50 but nothing had woke me up out of my sleep before 08:52 while I was pregnant. 08:54 So that Sunday, I went about my day, 08:56 did a little shopping and I had them all day, 08:58 not thinking of anything was wrong 09:00 or that everything was fine. 09:02 And then that Monday morning came around, 09:03 which was the 6th and I called my doctor and said, 09:06 "I haven't felt him move." 09:08 And she said, "I want you to come here right away." 09:10 So I went in and the whole time I'm praying, 09:12 I'm just saying, you know, hope everything is just okay. 09:16 And I went in, she took me right away 09:18 and she put a fetal monitoring on me listening for heartbeat. 09:21 And she couldn't exactly find one but she said, 09:24 "I want you to walk around for a little bit", 09:26 because I remembered, at one of my ultrasounds, 09:28 he liked to sleep on his stomach. 09:30 Okay. 09:31 And so-- In my mind, you know, 09:32 he's just covering up his heart, 09:34 you know, you can't really hear it. 09:36 So she did it again and she didn't hear anything 09:38 and she said, "I want you to go to the hospital right now." 09:40 And then I'm thinking like, oh, no, no, nothing is wrong, 09:43 you know, this is just-- we're just in the doctor's office. 09:46 Something is wrong with the machine. 09:48 Yes. 09:49 So I called my mother, my aunt 09:50 who happened to be around the corner. 09:52 I said, "We need to get at the hospital, right away 09:54 because they say something is wrong." 09:57 So what were you feeling right there, you know, 09:59 right at that moment, when you were-- 10:00 And you drove yourself to the hospital. 10:02 Yes, I did. My. 10:04 I actually started going in a wrong direction 10:06 and then I was like, hospital is that way. 10:09 My goodness, okay. 10:10 And I got-- I was just praying the whole time. 10:13 I was talking, I said, you know, 10:15 Lord please, say everything is okay. 10:17 I said, Julian, will you just move a little bit. 10:21 I said, mommy's got it, everything is okay. 10:23 And I got to the hospital, went up to fetal imaging. 10:27 They took me right away. 10:28 They strapped the belly band on me, 10:30 trying to listen for heartbeat. 10:31 They couldn't find one. 10:32 They brought in the screen and did an ultrasound 10:35 and they said, "Do you see the triangle right there." 10:37 I said, yes. 10:38 They said, "Well, it's supposed to be red lights 10:40 and it flashing shows heartbeat." 10:41 And they said, "he does not have a heartbeat." 10:43 My Lord. 10:45 That must have been devastating. 10:47 It was, I was still like, no, the doctor needs to come in 10:51 and say that. 10:52 I was like something is wrong with the machine again. 10:54 Then the doctor came in and said it. 10:56 And I just broke down. 10:59 You broke down and cried. 11:01 And my mother and my aunt had just walked in 11:04 and they asked me, "Do you want to tell them what happened?" 11:06 Well, my face was covered and I just shook my head no. 11:09 And they told them and my mother hit the floor. 11:12 My aunt ran out of the room and I was just-- 11:15 I was still crying. 11:17 And they said we need to get you to another room. 11:19 And I wasn't thinking. I was like, no, this cannot be. 11:22 My first pregnancy, my first child, this can't be. 11:26 And when I-- When they whirled me to the next room, 11:29 they came in and talked to me. 11:30 I said, "Well, what you gonna have to do?" 11:32 and they were like, 11:33 well, you're gonna have to deliver him. 11:34 And I was like, how. 11:38 My mother asked, can I get the C section. 11:41 And they said, we only do C section 11:42 unless it's an emergency. 11:44 And she does not need one. 11:46 I didn't know that? 11:48 And they said you did not need one? 11:50 Right. 11:51 So therefore, you had to-- they'd induced you labor. 11:54 Yes. 11:55 You had to go through the entire process. 11:57 Yes. 11:58 Knowing that your child was not living. 12:00 Right. 12:01 And this was about 11 o'clock in the morning and they said, 12:04 "Well, we're gonna keep you as comfortable as possible. 12:06 You let us know when you're ready to start." 12:08 I had family and a few friends come up to my room 12:11 and I was sitting there like, I can't believe this is it. 12:14 I didn't have a baby shower, I didn't do anything, 12:17 I didn't prepare, I didn't have a bag packed, you know, 12:20 I'm just here. 12:22 And it wasn't until 6:30 that evening, I said, 12:24 "Okay, you can give me the pills 12:25 to start inducing my labor." 12:28 And 12 o'clock I was in labor total for 10 hours. 12:31 10 hours? Yes. 12:33 And by 12 AM hit I was in excruciating pain 12:36 and I was scared of taking the pill but they, you know, 12:39 I said I want one. 12:40 The doctor came in and my eyes were closed 12:42 because I was in such excruciating pain. 12:45 And they said, "Your blood count show that you're at risk 12:48 for bleeding out, so we can't give you one." 12:50 Oh. You can't get half a dose. 12:52 No. No. 12:53 They gave me different pain medications 12:55 because it wasn't gonna affect Julian 12:57 but it wasn't strong enough. 12:59 So basically I had to do it natural. 13:00 Had to do it natural. 13:02 Yes, and I remember everything was going through my head. 13:04 I'm going through all this pain for whatever reason, 13:07 he's not alive and I heard my mother, she was there, 13:10 she was saying, "You have to go through this." 13:12 And then I just-- something said you have to do it. 13:15 And by 4:08 in the morning, 13:19 I delivered him 13:21 and I remember asking before, 13:23 what is he gonna look like, what's gonna happen 13:26 and they said, "We're not exactly sure 13:27 because we don't know how long he has been passed away." 13:30 So after I delivered him, I didn't look-- 13:32 You didn't look at Julian. 13:34 No, I was really afraid, I didn't want to see. 13:38 And then they took him away. 13:40 I heard the doctors and my mother saying, 13:42 "He looks very well. 13:44 He is a full turned baby and he's beautiful." 13:47 Beautiful baby. Yes. 13:49 So they brought him over to me and I was shaking 13:54 and they put him in my arms and I just looked at him 13:57 and I just kissed him. 14:02 It's all right. It's all right. 14:04 Yes, and I held him, 14:08 I talked to him, I prayed. 14:12 I felt bad, I blamed myself at first. 14:14 Why did you blame yourself Jami? 14:17 Thinking there's something that I could have done. 14:19 Yes. 14:20 But you did everything right. 14:22 Right, something that my aunt had told me was that, 14:26 "Look at him, look how healthy there he is, you know he is. 14:30 What does that say about you?" 14:32 When you felt the first Braxton Hicks sore 14:34 that night before, 14:36 if you could do it all over again, 14:38 would you have gone to the hospital? 14:40 Yes. 14:44 And the father, he never contacted you to see 14:47 how you were feeling or didn't know 14:50 what you had gone through. 14:51 No, he still doesn't know. He still doesn't know. 14:53 To this day he doesn't know anything what has happened. 14:55 No. You have no contact with him. 14:57 None. 14:58 Okay, thank God for your family, 15:00 the support of your family. 15:01 Yes. Thank God for God. 15:03 So now all right, they bring Julian over to you. 15:06 You've had a still birth death. 15:09 And let's talk about that just for a second 15:11 and that's when the placenta separates 15:13 from the urinary wall, 15:16 and you had eruption, abruption. 15:20 And so let's look at now, they bring the baby over to you 15:24 and you see Julian. 15:26 Do you take him and hold him or was it mommy holding him? 15:28 I was holding him. You were holding him. 15:29 Yes. You actually hold him. 15:31 Yes. 15:32 What was your first reaction when you saw him? 15:38 He is not crying. 15:39 He is not crying. 15:41 And that he was cute. 15:43 He was cute. 15:44 Did it hit you that your baby was not living? 15:48 Not right away because he just, he was sleeping. 15:52 He was just sleeping. Hmm-hmm. 15:55 In my mind that's what he was doing. 15:57 But I held him and family came to visit me 16:02 and I just, I looked at him from head to toe. 16:05 Yes. 16:07 Almost, you know, 10 fingers, 10 toes, head full of hairs, 16:10 he was just beautiful. 16:12 And the doctors came in and said, "You know, 16:14 obliviously we gonna have to move you to another room." 16:16 And I said, "Okay" and I still just sat there, 16:19 hadn't had any sleep. 16:20 Everybody was saying, you know, "You need to take a nap, 16:22 you need to take a nap." 16:23 And I said, "I don't want to." 16:24 I didn't want to miss one minute of looking at him. 16:28 So eventually they gave me something, 16:31 I went to sleep but they tried to take him away 16:33 to put him in a crib and I said, "No." 16:35 You wouldn't let them take. No. 16:37 How long did you keep him? 16:39 With me. 16:41 When I moved to the next room, 16:44 I had to be discharged at-- 16:47 about 4 o' clock. 16:48 So he stayed in my arms for 12 hours. 16:50 He stayed in your arms for literally 12 whole hours. 16:54 Yes. 16:55 And when you think about, it's not a long time. 16:57 But when you think that-- we as parents have our children 17:00 for years and years and years. 17:03 And as you held him, you constantly just looked at him, 17:07 just never took your eyes off him. 17:09 No. 17:10 And you never let any one else hold him. 17:11 Do anyone yes hold him? Your mother. 17:12 Yes, my mother, my aunt, my brother 17:16 and my grandmother drove in from Chicago 17:18 and they made it about four hours before I was discharged. 17:22 And they held him and other close friends of the family. 17:25 They came and they saw him and supported me 17:28 and they held him. 17:30 So what made you to make the decision 17:32 that you will never contact the father 17:33 and let him know what you had gone through? 17:37 Actually he told me not to contact him. 17:39 Okay, okay, when he is there and you rather walk away. 17:42 Right, I mean, it wasn't that easy 17:45 because he was pretty verbally abusive. 17:48 Okay. The day after I've told him. 17:50 The day after-- Till he changed. 17:52 I see. He changed. 17:53 So I was like okay-- Wow. 17:54 And I won't contact you. Okay. 17:56 Did he have more children or was-- 17:59 He actually when I told him, what surprised me was that 18:01 he had found out that his ex-girlfriend 18:03 was pregnant also. 18:06 She was a mother before me. 18:08 Now you had him 12 hours 18:13 and you know somebody have to take him. 18:16 What happened when they came to take him? 18:19 What happened? 18:20 I told them, no, I'm not ready to leave yet 18:23 and I talked to my doctor on a phone and she said, 18:26 "Well, when she's ready to leave, she can leave." 18:29 That's wonderful. 18:31 This is what the doctor said. 18:32 Yes, this was probably about 1 or 2 o'clock. 18:34 So then I guessed 4 o'clock came on. 18:37 I was like, okay one of these days 18:38 I'm gonna have to leave this hospital. 18:40 Yes. 18:41 So yes, we were -- I was in the second room 18:46 and I had got dressed and my mother 18:49 and my grandmother and my family was there 18:52 and I asked everybody to step out of the room 18:54 and I just had another private moment with him. 18:56 Just you and Julian. 18:58 Yes, I prayed, I kissed him, I told him that I love him, 19:01 I said I'm sorry and-- 19:03 Why did you say you were sorry? 19:06 Why were you sorry? 19:09 That I couldn't take him with me. 19:14 You wanted to take your baby home. 19:16 Hmm-hmm, I was supposed to. 19:19 And you had this beautiful nursery, all these toys, 19:22 everything in place to take your baby home. 19:25 Yes. 19:26 But you had to leave that hospital without your baby. 19:29 Yes. 19:30 Let me ask, what's in the chest, 19:33 the case that you have? 19:35 I was given this. 19:38 I had a repass for Julian, two days after 19:41 and one of my mother's friends gave me this. 19:44 It came with a journal that I've been writing 19:49 every couple of days to Julian. 19:52 Things that's going on today, things I wanted to tell him 19:55 and I've been writing in it ever since that day. 19:59 And I was also given a book from the hospital 20:02 which has helped me so much. 20:03 It's called, "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" 20:05 and it talked things that I was not able to say, 20:09 this book says it, and it's amazing. 20:12 And I have the ultrasound picture. 20:17 That's ultrasound Julian. 20:21 You know, how many weeks were you then? 20:26 It's about probably five months, about 20 weeks. 20:29 5 months. 20:30 Wow. Wow. 20:32 And look at bluer prints. That's beautiful. 20:36 And this is probably the most precious to me 20:40 because this is the hat that he had on his head. 20:43 Wow. 20:44 That was the hat he had on. Yes. 20:47 Did you dress him in the hospital before they took him? 20:50 No, because I wasn't prepared. 20:53 I didn't know everything was gonna happen. 20:55 So they had clothes that they put on him the blankets, 20:57 the hat. 21:00 So, you know, I actually want to-- you're still grieving. 21:03 Oh, yes. 21:05 And that how long has it been, you know, since he passed. 21:07 Five months. 21:09 February 7th. Absolutely. 21:10 That's a very short time, when you talk about loss 21:14 and grieving and healing, you know. 21:17 So what are some of the things you have done for yourself 21:19 to help you through this process, you know, as far as, 21:23 your know, your prayer life spirituality, you know, 21:26 what are you doing for Jami now. 21:29 I'm going to counseling. 21:34 After I left the hospital, I went to stay with my mom 21:36 for six weeks. 21:37 I didn't leave the house or anything. 21:38 I was really broken down. 21:41 And she helped me find the counselor 21:44 and I've been seeing my counselor every week. 21:47 And it's really, really helped me to realize, 21:50 to admit to the fact that Julian has died. 21:54 Yes, wow. 21:57 I feel your loss, I feel your pain, you know. 22:00 Do you want to someday get married 22:03 and have children and-- 22:05 Yes. 22:06 How many more children would you like to have? 22:08 Four. Four. 22:10 Are you serious? Yes. 22:12 Four children. Four children. 22:14 Well, I guess that's it, you know, 22:15 four children is not bad because I came from a family 22:18 like that that had four children. 22:19 And so did I, you know, with you being in school 22:24 and with your life, you know, you and your mom, 22:27 you're on your business, lot of things are going on 22:30 in your life, you know. 22:32 Where does God play a role in your life now? 22:38 I pray everyday, every single day 22:42 because I did not have to be here when, 22:47 after I delivered Julian, when I found out 22:50 that there was a blood clot behind the placenta 22:53 which caused it to separate and then with them telling me 22:56 that I was at risk for bleeding out. 22:59 So many things could have gone wrong that when I think back 23:02 like if I did go to the hospital 23:04 right away that night they could have put me on the table 23:06 for emergency C section and I could have died. 23:08 You could have died. Exactly. 23:11 Oh. 23:13 So, the Lord was really with you. 23:14 Yes. 23:15 Did you ever blamed God or you were angry at God 23:18 or did you ever feel that God was punishing you 23:21 because that's not a kind of God we serve, 23:23 but people do think that you know, 23:25 to go through all that, aren't you angry at God? 23:28 No, no I'm not because He does things 23:34 but it's not in our position to question Him 23:36 because He always knows right and this happened for a reason. 23:40 I can't explain it 23:41 but Julian was born free from sin. 23:46 And I can't be mad at that. 23:49 Oh, did you hear that. Yes. 23:51 That just sent chills down my-- free from sin, 23:53 to be free from sin, you know-- 23:56 How does this affect your desire to have relationships, 24:02 you know until, you know, find someone 24:05 that you could build your life with? 24:12 Who I decide to build my relationship with next, 24:15 definitely I will love for them to have a desire 24:17 for children because children are blessing. 24:20 And somebody that respects me and loves me for who I am 24:25 and also has goals, to aspire to be something great 24:30 in this world. 24:31 Is it important for them to be a Christian and know the Lord? 24:33 That too. Yeah, of course. 24:34 That's a blessing, that's a blessing. 24:37 Well, I do know that this has been a heavy low 24:41 when I first heard your story, it brought tears to my eyes 24:43 and every time I hear it and I'm always looking for things 24:47 to add in the chest. 24:48 Tell me, you know, in our closing remarks, 24:50 what has happened to Julian's room. 24:52 Where is Julian's room now? 24:54 It's still the same. 24:56 Is it? It's still the same. 24:57 Yes, it is. Nothing has changed. 25:00 Nothing. 25:01 Do you see yourself changing it at some point? 25:05 Not right now. Okay. 25:06 I mean currently I'm working on my license 25:09 to become a foster parent because I'd like to adopt. 25:12 Okay. 25:13 So there will be a nursery but I will change it 25:17 for the next child that comes there 25:18 because his theme which was the moon and stars was his. 25:22 And that was his theme. 25:23 Yes. Julian. 25:25 How often do you go in Julian's room? 25:27 I went in there every day but now maybe once a week. 25:32 Okay. So there is some growth- 25:33 So how-- what's making you handle it better, you know. 25:38 Coming to reality of what happened 25:41 and that developing a case of OCD 25:45 obsessive-compulsive disorder, 25:47 whether if it's going in the room everyday, 25:49 touching everything which is what I was doing 25:51 is not gonna help anything. 25:52 It's not gonna change anything. 25:55 So I had to find a way to cope which is I have to keep going 25:58 to work, going to school and pursuing my dreams. 26:02 And riding your motorcycle. 26:04 Safely. 26:05 Yeah, you got me, very good. 26:08 I want to say to you. I'm so proud of you. 26:11 Thank you. 26:12 I ask that God strengthen you and keep you, 26:15 both of us Arthur and I, and we want to thank you 26:18 for coming on "making it work" 26:19 because truly you're making it work. 26:21 And your story is touching a lot of people. 26:24 It's going to change a lot of lives. 26:26 And, you know, just in our closing remark, 26:29 what can you say to someone who maybe going through this. 26:31 What can you say to encourage? 26:33 It's gonna be hard. 26:35 You're gonna cry. 26:36 I cried, I still do cry but it's okay. 26:39 God knows best. 26:40 He would never do anything to make a person feel like, 26:45 I shouldn't be on this earth. 26:48 Everybody is here for a reason. 26:49 Everybody has a purpose. Yes. 26:51 Things will be okay eventually but it does take time, 26:55 one day at a time. 26:56 One day at a time, you know. 26:59 Yes. 27:00 Arthur, any closing comment about remembering Julian. 27:02 I'm just really pleased that we had the opportunity 27:07 to share with you the experience that you've had. 27:10 You know I can say, I think you're gonna 27:12 really touch a lot of lives. 27:14 So I just appreciate you being here today. 27:17 Thank you for having me. 27:18 Oh, it is our pleasure. Jami Vaughn. 27:21 To someone today who maybe hurting, 27:23 going through something. 27:25 God is able. 27:26 And as Jami said it takes time and one day at a time, 27:29 and God will get you through. 27:30 But don't give up hope 27:32 because God will give you a complete, 27:34 full life in Jesus' name. 27:37 I'm excited about what God is going to do for Jami Vaughn 27:40 as I'm excited about what God's going to do 27:42 for each of you viewing today. 27:45 God is a wonderful source. 27:48 Prayer, Bible study, being able to connect with people 27:52 who believe in pro-active change like Jami. 27:56 Well, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. 27:59 And I'm Arthur Nowlin. 28:00 And thank you for being with us on "making it work." 28:02 God bless. God bless. |
Revised 2015-06-04