Participants: Arthur Nowlin (Host), Dr Kim Logan-Nowlin (Host), Jannise Newby
Series Code: MIW
Program Code: MIW000015
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00:01 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
00:02 And I'm Arthur Nowlin. 00:04 And welcome to "Making it Work." 00:37 Welcome to "Making it Work." 00:39 Arthur, today we're gonna be talking 00:41 about a time to reboot. 00:43 Now what you think about a time to reboot? 00:45 What comes to mind? 00:46 Regeneration, doing something-- 00:48 starting all over again. 00:49 Okay, I like a charge. 00:51 Yeah, I get excited just thinking about it. 00:53 You have another opportunity to make a difference. 00:55 Like how I charge you. 00:57 I have you to reboot, 00:58 you know, I motivation you. 00:59 Like I say it's starting all over again. 01:01 All right, well, that's all right. 01:03 Well, listen today we have a very special guests 01:05 and we are so thankful that she was able to come. 01:08 We want to welcome Jannise Newby to the program. 01:11 Welcome to "Making it Work." 01:12 Thank you for having me. 01:13 How you doing today? 01:15 I'm very good. 01:16 Oh, well, you look great and you feel great. 01:18 I feel wonderful. I feel rebooted. 01:21 I like that. 01:22 Now, listen, let's talk about, 01:24 you know, you're native Detroiter? 01:26 Yes, I am. 01:27 Okay and where did you attend high school and college? 01:29 St. Benedict team, Wayne State, Marygrove, 01:33 Central Michigan University. Marygrove, okay. 01:36 So you are now-- 01:38 tell us what your degrees are in. 01:40 Community-development. Okay. 01:42 With the undergrad in house science 01:44 as well as public administration. 01:46 Wonderful. 01:47 Masters is just about to complete 01:50 and professional license counseling. 01:52 Oh, congratulations. 01:54 Now you are a Christian? 01:56 Oh, yes. Amen. 01:58 You see there was such enthusiasm. 02:00 Yes I love that. He loves you. 02:02 Oh, yeah, he is the love of my soul. 02:04 Oh, that's wonderful. 02:06 Let's talk about Jannise, you know 02:07 and you know I want to say to our viewing audience 02:10 my middle name is Jannise, Kim Jannise 02:12 and this is Jannise Michelle. 02:14 I just love that. 02:15 What's the middle name? 02:16 Jannise. 02:18 I didn't know that. You did. 02:19 Okay, move it right along, okay. 02:21 He knew that. 02:22 All right, well, let's talk about a time to reboot. 02:26 Tell us about some other things 02:27 you have experienced in our life 02:29 over these last 20, 25 years. 02:32 Sure. 02:33 Well, I am and I'm going on into my dark hood, 02:38 there was a promiscuous lifestyle 02:41 that I lived. 02:42 Of course, when you come into the knowledge of God 02:44 and who He is 02:45 and knowing that He loves you so much 02:49 there is a lot to be said about where you are, 02:53 who you are and your desire 02:55 who you're asking Him to call you to be. 02:59 And so I began to give-- 03:01 I gave my life to the Lord at the age of 19 03:05 and then walking with Him ever since. 03:09 I'm just putting away the lifestyle of wrong doings 03:15 and games and just saying that this is not who I am. 03:21 Now you said game, 03:22 were you involved in a game Jannise? 03:24 Wait a minute, I can't believe that. 03:25 Now you are so sweet. 03:27 Oh, my Lord, you get-- 03:28 how did you get involved and caught up in a game? 03:32 I was thinking about money. 03:36 Thinking that survival and that was just 03:39 a part of that chaotic type the lifestyle. 03:41 I see. 03:42 And pretty much I was looking at a man 03:46 and he took someone threatening my life 03:49 and hold me at gunpoint 03:50 and saying they were gonna take my life. 03:53 And a little angel which was a little 03:56 one and half year old young man that my son 04:00 and came and scared the man away. 04:02 What. 04:03 Stood before him and he was frightened 04:06 and that just changed my life forever 04:07 because that was not what I should have been doing 04:11 and I put this little child 04:13 that just started walking in harm's way. 04:15 My, my, my. 04:16 And I'm just been running ever since. 04:18 So you have a son, how old is he now? 04:20 He is 20 years old. 04:22 No, you look 20 yourself. Thank you. 04:25 You know, God is beautiful. 04:26 You guys have great relationship. 04:27 Wonderful. Okay. 04:29 Now let me ask you this, 04:31 all right, so during this process 04:33 you went through a game and you-- 04:35 how did you make the transition from the game 04:37 going back to school to say this is not the life for me? 04:41 Well, I had lived in the projects and I was not-- 04:48 telling like this is just what I have. 04:50 This wasn't me. Yes. 04:52 I just saw like there was something much greater, 04:54 so as I began to come out of the lifestyle 04:59 and that very tragic evening that had occurred 05:03 I just really start to look to God 05:05 and He began to direct myself. 05:08 And I had thought about the women 05:11 that I lived in the project area-- 05:15 Yes. 05:16 And had said that with me being there 05:19 and not wanting this 05:20 I wanted to begin to learn how to develop professionally 05:26 through going through a process 05:28 and just again running for the Lord. 05:31 And so I began to start a small business 05:35 that talks about-- 05:36 that taught me how to develop 05:39 on both personally and professionally. 05:42 Let me ask, the people that you were in-game with, 05:47 did they still try to encourage you 05:50 or tried to get you to still participating, 05:53 be friends with them or what? 05:56 It was awesome. 05:57 When I say that God did a miraculous quick work with me 06:04 when it's one thing when you say 06:06 that you're going to repent 06:08 you're gonna give your life to God 06:10 but as another when you truly make a decision 06:13 and God hears your cry 06:16 and He just turned quickly and I never looked back. 06:20 So it was no other opportunities 06:22 for me to ever go. 06:26 We were talking about getting out of the games and, 06:29 you know, you said that God wanted you-- 06:33 did a miraculous thing. 06:34 He just took you away with no emphasis involved. 06:39 Actually just I began to think 06:41 about the days ahead in my wife 06:45 and that I wanted to change, 06:49 I desired to change. 06:51 So because of that I truly just saw God 06:55 and ran for my life and just did not turn back. 06:59 And He blessed me and blessed my life 07:04 to where it wasn't a fear that I had of anyone. 07:08 I moved from the neighborhood that I was in 07:12 and I began to move forward 07:15 and He has truly been directing me every since. 07:18 How did your family, you know, adjust to, 07:22 you know, you be in one way 07:23 then changing over and being another way. 07:26 You know, how was that, you know? 07:28 They had been praying for me, 07:31 especially my sister she would often taught me 07:35 you should go to church and you should really see God. 07:39 Because at one point it was where they had this-- 07:43 my father had just own me, my brother-- 07:46 yes, because of the lifestyle 07:48 but again I'm just looking on to Jesus. 07:53 Okay. 07:54 Now we're at a point where you are meeting someone 07:59 and you were married. 08:02 All right, let's talk about that. 08:04 Well, once I-- after about ten years 08:07 and walking with the Lord 08:09 and I felt that at 29 years old at that point 08:14 that I wanted to be married. 08:18 I decided this. 08:19 Everything was going well, 08:22 I actually had started school ministry 08:24 and stopped and decided 08:28 that I was going to go ahead and just get married. 08:31 And I was taking my eyes off of prayer, 08:34 I should have had them directed. 08:35 Okay. 08:36 And had met a man that I felt comfortable with, 08:41 to knowing his family for about nine years 08:44 but he was not ready. 08:47 He was not what? 08:48 He was not ready in the word okay, 08:50 like I was and I began walk in my faith. 08:56 So he did began to come to my church 08:59 for about two years, 09:00 we did go through counsel and he truly pursued me 09:05 for about two years. 09:07 And after that I kind of say okay, 09:12 yeah, well, we can do this. 09:14 So you got married? I did get married. 09:16 Okay. How long did it last? 09:18 Actually about six months 09:19 and I stayed in it for four years. 09:21 Okay. 09:23 So during this process things began to change, 09:26 what began to change? 09:27 There was a lot of isolation 09:32 and where my ex-husband work 09:36 and constantly work or he would say he was working 09:39 and so then I had gotten a call at the home 09:42 from the woman that he had been seeing 09:45 and she talks about their relationship 09:47 that had been ongoing for five years. 09:49 At that time we had been in a marriage 09:52 for about two and a half, going on three years. 09:56 So that's when I decided, 09:58 after I had it know there was others 10:02 and we did have a gym and we committed 10:04 that not to allow the woman in our gym. 10:06 But I will forgive him. I forgave him. 10:09 Over and over. Over and over. 10:11 Different women? Yes. 10:13 And this lasted for four years? Yes. 10:16 But he had been involved in relationship 10:17 with this other woman for five years 10:19 and two of the years you were married to him. 10:21 Right. That's two and half years. 10:23 Did any children come out of these affairs? 10:25 No. Okay. 10:27 And you too did not have any children? 10:28 No. 10:29 So some of the aspects I mean different women, 10:33 multiple affairs 10:35 and out of that no children in your relationship. 10:38 What did that do to your self esteem? 10:40 I felt better and I felt as if this was again a choice 10:46 that I had gone into 10:48 but I began to seek the Lord 10:50 continuously throughout the marriage, 10:53 I was seeking the Lord and finally I said God, 10:56 I don't-- this I can take this no more. 11:00 And I don't believe in divorce 11:02 so I did fast and pray, 11:06 I just began to fast and pray 11:07 and I sought the Lord and I asked Him 11:09 to deliver me out of this marriage. 11:12 I wanted out and I believe that the Lord 11:15 had given me that He will make a way of escape 11:18 but it wasn't for me to ask for the divorcement. 11:21 And I went back because I had went away 11:25 to pray for a couple of days 11:27 and then I went back and I spoke to my husband 11:31 and I told him that I have been in prayer 11:33 and that the marriage had been very mentally abusive 11:38 and it was now right 11:40 and I really wish that he would leave me alone 11:43 or choose to have counsel 11:46 for us to get marriage counseling 11:47 because I told him that he needed help 11:49 and I needed strength to stay in it. 11:53 And he said well, I'll let you know 11:55 and finally he got back to me after about two or three weeks 11:59 probably almost a month later. 12:01 And still living in the same household 12:05 just not speaking to one another, 12:07 not sleeping with one another and he finally said okay, 12:11 I don't want counsel, I'm not doing counsel. 12:14 I'm not even gonna counsel with God himself 12:16 but I am gonna give you what you want 12:18 and I'm gonna leave you alone. 12:20 And I said wow, but I won, 12:23 okay and then he served me with divorcement papers. 12:28 So that must have been 12:29 devastating for you at that point? 12:32 Honestly it was a relief. 12:35 Okay. A relief. 12:36 I was thanking God for the way of escape. 12:39 Yeah. 12:40 I was because the process of going through the marriage, 12:45 through the abuse of mentally being accused 12:48 whereas heart and to be able to come out of it. 12:55 I felt that this was a blessing. 12:58 So now your life is like restarting? 13:01 This is getting to a whole new transformation. 13:06 Yes. So how was that for you? 13:09 It has been great. 13:10 Since then its been since 2008 13:17 and since that time I've been back 13:20 and just looking and saying Lord 13:24 I still although I wanted marriage, 13:27 I desire marriage as a single woman 13:31 and still there's been times where I would date 13:37 but I would say okay, 13:39 I really have to give myself some time. 13:41 Yes, purging yourself. Yes. 13:44 I really need it to do it myself. 13:45 And during this time from 2008 you've been celibate? 13:48 Yes. 13:49 And when we talk about celibacy 13:52 refraining from sexual relationship 13:55 and in our society today you know that's not-- 13:57 that's unheard of. 13:58 You know, it's okay, you know, 14:00 you meet a man you meet a woman 14:01 become sexually involved 14:03 two or three weeks later you break up, 14:04 two or three months later you are with someone else 14:06 becomes a vicious cycle. 14:08 And we have to stand on God's Word 14:11 to trust in the Lord. 14:12 Arthur, that's just scripted trust in the Lord 14:14 and wait on the Lord. 14:16 And so god is He really has a blessing for you. 14:19 So you do want to remarry and have that family? 14:23 Absolutely. 14:25 Being celibate is not just that 14:27 and what I also heard you say 14:30 is that in a process 14:32 you was developing 14:33 or increasing your relationship with the Lord 14:37 and expecting Him to give you the answer 14:39 and help you provide a way out of this situation. 14:42 And I would assume that even at this point 14:46 that on a daily basis 14:47 that's something that you are requesting from Him 14:50 to give you guidance and leadership 14:52 to helping make the best decision. 14:54 Yes. 14:55 You know, is that a process 14:58 where you see the results of what you're asking for? 15:02 Yes. 15:04 Just making a decision and I sat down, in 2010 15:09 and there was sex area specifically I said, 15:12 the relationship because being a married you-- 15:15 I enjoyed the marriage and there's relationships 15:20 that we were involved in marriage 15:22 that a man and a woman should enjoy 15:24 being able to enjoy one another through sex relations. 15:28 And so of course, 15:29 those desires don't necessarily go away 15:32 but the Lord can cause you to abstain from them. 15:36 And so I was just ask God 15:37 help me with relationship, desire, 15:40 help me with financial issues, 15:43 help me with even my health and fitness 15:46 and go planning and time management 15:50 and just the way that I did things on a daily basis 15:53 that each and every one of us experience 15:56 throughout our lives fitness and health 15:58 and finance and things that sort. 16:00 So those were areas that I said I desired to be rebooted in it. 16:05 I said really strengthening. 16:07 So in 2010 this was a way that I've been recharged again 16:12 after two years of being out of the marriage. 16:15 And so I'm happily rocking in that now 16:18 and finishing up the master's degree 16:20 that's part of that. 16:22 Financial increase, weight loss and just simply sitting down 16:28 and saying Lord, I desire Your vision for my life. 16:31 Oh, nice. 16:33 How about your son? 16:34 I mean, can he see 16:37 some of these changes that have occurred. 16:40 Yes. It says the divorce in 2008. 16:43 You know, how motivating this is for you now? 16:46 My son is a extraordinary young man 16:50 and that he was and very happy 16:52 actually from the divorcement sadly to say 16:55 but he was able to look at me 16:59 and see the strength that I was able to hold on to 17:01 and now he's a entrepreneur himself, 17:04 he is in college and pursuing his degree 17:07 and he's doing very well on his own as a young man. 17:11 And just rising above influence in south 17:13 as well as he practiced abstinence 17:16 and he talks to high school students about. 17:20 He is how old? He is 20 years old. 17:21 That is a blessing. 17:23 So you can, you can abstain from sexual relationships in-- 17:31 God ordained us to wait, to wait on the Lord. 17:35 Yeah. So now let me ask you this. 17:37 You are a Christian, your mom woman of God, 17:42 you've earned a college degree 17:43 now you completing your masters, 17:45 why a degree in counseling 17:47 and LPC a licensed professional counselor which I am also? 17:51 And I hold it dear to me because I love helping people. 17:55 Why are you earning a degree in counseling? 17:57 Part of going through the process 17:59 of professional development 18:01 and when I started my small business 18:03 with talking about professional development 18:05 I found that a lot of persons in with, 18:08 even myself in looking 18:09 and being transparent with myself. 18:12 Sometimes it's hard to see yourself 18:14 professionally developed 18:15 if you're not personally developed. 18:18 And so I wanted to become skilled in the area really 18:22 of really helping persons process, 18:26 the personal aspects of their life 18:29 and helping them behold and looking in counseling, 18:33 that is what we do as we help actually people 18:37 that are healthy become healthier. 18:39 All right, healthier. 18:42 Yes, Kim, but-- I need to be healthier. 18:44 I've been telling that for a long time. 18:46 You know, you know what, he is so funny. 18:48 You know, what we-- 18:50 I also look at the fact that how-- 18:52 I really should complement each other 18:54 for us to be healthy, you know. 18:56 Let me ask this, 18:59 what can you say to women to anyone, 19:03 you know, what can you say to them 19:05 to encourage them? 19:06 I would say being a woman of God 19:10 that its virtue that we possess 19:13 and it is really the scripture 19:16 that talks about a virtuous woman 19:18 but also there is virtuous man as well. 19:21 Yes. 19:22 But our price is valuable and we are to look at ourselves 19:27 as having such a wealth of value 19:30 that we should not lower our standards 19:33 by any means and that's living a holy life, 19:37 that's living a life that can be exemplifiable, 19:41 because there are people that look to you, 19:43 there are people that needs to have hope, 19:46 the need to be also recharged 19:48 and just need a direction of how to be redirected 19:51 because we are all sinners saved by His grace. 19:54 That's right. That's' right. 19:55 So we can have that opportunity to looking on and say Lord, 19:59 our Master, give backup again and keep on going. 20:04 But your very being should command 20:07 and ordain predestined promises 20:10 for your lives, individual lives. 20:13 You should command it. Yes. 20:14 You should be able to walk in a level 20:16 or authority that will claim 20:19 what is rightfully yours being in a royal priesthood 20:22 and knowing who your daddy is. 20:25 And you just recharged me. I'm already charged. 20:28 I was so happy you're recharged. 20:29 I'm so recharged, I'm rebooting, I'm already-- 20:32 What does that mean to me? 20:33 Well, I get this much on my plate already, 20:34 it's time to take it to another level, right. 20:37 Because God is never stagnant. 20:38 He wants us constantly growing and moving 20:41 and so therefore, you know, 20:43 something Arthur said yesterday, 20:45 we were in church, we have to expect success 20:49 and if we don't expect it won't happen. 20:51 You know and its one thing 20:53 to be able to look at yourself and say well, 20:55 this is what I want for my life but you have to take action. 20:59 You can talk all day I want to do this ABCD 21:02 but how it get to point A to point Z 21:05 if I don't take action. 21:06 Exactly. 21:07 Even more so I think was some point 21:09 and you alluded to it while you were speaking. 21:13 Basically you have to get to a point 21:15 where you believe in yourself. 21:18 You know, it has to be your relationship with God 21:22 and your faith and that will get you through. 21:25 Many times we go through our trials and tribulations 21:28 but unfortunately for some of us 21:30 we get into a point 21:31 where we don't believe in ourselves. 21:34 We get so tied up 21:35 with the negative it stagnates us. 21:39 And what I'm hearing from you is that it didn't stagnate you 21:43 that you made a decision 21:45 that you are going to improve your life 21:47 and at the cost of if it took 21:50 that you had to leave the relationship, the marriage 21:53 then that was necessary 21:55 because you didn't want the confusion. 21:58 Exactly. 21:59 And you wanted something more for your life and your son. 22:02 And I like the statement that you said 22:03 people are looking to you to be recharged 22:06 to end the Lord process in position to be used by Him 22:11 to bring glory to His name you know. 22:13 Let me say this, the me time, how do you get your me time? 22:17 Let's talk about that me time a little bit 22:18 because while you are rebooting 22:19 being recharged where is the me time? 22:22 The me time comes from just being able to sit 22:25 and wait and be patient. 22:28 I love my quiet time 22:30 and even in a place out I'm not, 22:33 I don't even look at it being alone and being single. 22:36 I am very... umm.. satisfied 22:39 with having my relationship with the Lord 22:41 and Him teaching me equipping me 22:44 on how to walk in that and not just feel like oh, 22:47 I got to have a man now. 22:49 Like I can't go a day 22:51 without having somebody around me 22:53 because those quiet times with Him 22:57 house me be reminded who I really serve and I-- 23:01 He has the best. 23:03 It's tailor-made a way He has for me 23:07 whatever that may be 23:09 and again not looking at myself because I look at my life 23:12 it is not about me 23:13 throughout the whole course of the marriage 23:15 and going through that 23:16 I would often say Lord, who was this for. 23:18 Yes. 23:19 And as He's brought me out of it 23:21 and being able to be restored fully 23:24 I am able to say I understand 23:26 I thank you because there are many 23:28 that may have gone through 23:30 or going through the same thing 23:32 that need to be able to speak to someone and so I get stuck. 23:38 And saying that you recognize 23:40 that you don't have to have a man 23:42 but there's been some men that you may have dated or, 23:44 you know, what do you look for 23:46 when you're involved with someone now? 23:50 What are the points that that you're interested 23:54 in trying to obtain? 23:55 The motive. Okay. 23:57 The words. Okay. 23:59 Where are your words at 24:01 because when we say than we are in relationship with God 24:05 there are some words that should be learning, 24:07 like just the blood and your veins and your body. 24:12 And so through conversation they acquaint to 24:15 of course be a what human that's gonna be an attraction 24:18 but past the attraction you should see a firmness 24:23 of where there's a prayer life and so I want, 24:26 I would look to hear man of God 24:29 talk about his time spent with the Lord 24:32 just as I have that time spent with the Lord 24:34 because how can two walk together 24:36 except they agree? 24:37 And so there's no agreement 24:39 than it makes no sense for the time to be spent 24:43 other than just maybe a friendly relationship 24:46 or just being friends. 24:48 And being monogamous and being celibate. 24:51 I want to emphasize that. What do you want to say? 24:55 I was gonna follow up on that. Okay. 24:57 You know, because when I'm thinking about 25:00 I understand that you look for the route of the man 25:03 and the motive of the man and being on one accord. 25:08 But what if someone was interested in you 25:11 and may not really have 25:13 the knowledge of going to church 25:16 but he was a good man you know? 25:18 I mean, I mean, would you spend time nurturing 25:21 and trying to get on that one accord 25:24 or would that person not be a venturous? 25:26 Not of interest other than again just we are to be 25:32 friendly to one another 25:33 but there's a character behind every motive 25:36 and I fell as though if his character 25:39 is an alignment well who God has caught him to be. 25:43 He'll be looking all my way and just being again a one man 25:47 and a man with attraction. 25:49 But through conversation it will eventually come out 25:52 and it doesn't take that long. 25:55 So I don't see where I would have to build him up 25:57 because and that's out of the order 25:59 because it's he that findeth the way. 26:01 Well, you know, okay, 26:02 well, you don't have to build the love but, 26:05 you know, is there a point where we all can be 26:08 in certain levels spiritually, you know, 26:13 and spiritually you may be at one level and he may not be? 26:19 Well I just want to say this, 26:20 all right, we got one minute 26:21 let's just get caught, let's get with. 26:24 What I think we need to look at is the fact 26:26 that God will assign and He will ordain that mate 26:31 if you are willing to wait on the Lord. 26:33 Micah 7:7 says, wait I say on the Lord. 26:38 And so therefore we must wait on the Lord. 26:42 So I just take all this-- sometimes, 26:44 you know, you got to agree the disagree 26:46 but I know that God gave me a husband 26:49 who was not all into the Lord 26:51 but I was a character of a woman of God. 26:55 And so that's a whole another show 26:56 but we just thank God. 26:58 Listen, we are so thankful to have you here Jannise, 27:01 and we appreciate you and she's also an author 27:04 and we know God's gonna bless everything 27:06 that God is doing in your life. 27:08 I see it. Oh, he's already got. 27:09 And I am rebooted and I am recharged. 27:12 You what? I rebooted. 27:13 Praise the Lord. And I'm recharged. 27:16 We go reboot Arthur. 27:17 Listen, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. 27:20 I'm Arthur Nowlin. 27:21 And thank you for being with us on "Making it Work." 27:24 God bless. |
Revised 2015-06-04