Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
00:00:01.06\00:00:02.96
And I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:00:02.99\00:00:04.20
And welcome to "Making it Work."
00:00:04.23\00:00:05.92
Welcome to "Making it Work."
00:00:37.62\00:00:39.67
Arthur, today
we're gonna be talking
00:00:39.70\00:00:41.19
about a time to reboot.
00:00:41.22\00:00:43.48
Now what you think
about a time to reboot?
00:00:43.51\00:00:45.45
What comes to mind?
00:00:45.48\00:00:46.54
Regeneration, doing something--
00:00:46.57\00:00:48.40
starting all over again.
00:00:48.43\00:00:49.76
Okay, I like a charge.
00:00:49.79\00:00:51.30
Yeah, I get excited
just thinking about it.
00:00:51.33\00:00:53.13
You have another opportunity
to make a difference.
00:00:53.16\00:00:55.48
Like how I charge you.
00:00:55.51\00:00:57.06
I have you to reboot,
00:00:57.09\00:00:58.18
you know, I motivation you.
00:00:58.21\00:00:59.51
Like I say it's
starting all over again.
00:00:59.54\00:01:01.62
All right, well,
that's all right.
00:01:01.65\00:01:03.37
Well, listen today we
have a very special guests
00:01:03.40\00:01:05.91
and we are so thankful
that she was able to come.
00:01:05.94\00:01:08.38
We want to welcome
Jannise Newby to the program.
00:01:08.41\00:01:11.29
Welcome to "Making it Work."
00:01:11.32\00:01:12.65
Thank you for having me.
00:01:12.68\00:01:13.76
How you doing today?
00:01:13.79\00:01:15.04
I'm very good.
00:01:15.07\00:01:16.10
Oh, well, you look
great and you feel great.
00:01:16.13\00:01:18.30
I feel
wonderful. I feel rebooted.
00:01:18.33\00:01:21.36
I like that.
00:01:21.39\00:01:22.42
Now, listen, let's talk about,
00:01:22.45\00:01:24.24
you know, you're
native Detroiter?
00:01:24.27\00:01:26.34
Yes, I am.
00:01:26.37\00:01:27.42
Okay and where did you
attend high school and college?
00:01:27.45\00:01:29.92
St. Benedict team,
Wayne State, Marygrove,
00:01:29.95\00:01:33.42
Central Michigan
University. Marygrove, okay.
00:01:33.45\00:01:36.47
So you are now--
00:01:36.50\00:01:38.08
tell us what
your degrees are in.
00:01:38.11\00:01:40.02
Community-development. Okay.
00:01:40.05\00:01:42.24
With the
undergrad in house science
00:01:42.27\00:01:44.83
as well as
public administration.
00:01:44.86\00:01:46.60
Wonderful.
00:01:46.63\00:01:47.76
Masters is just
about to complete
00:01:47.79\00:01:50.12
and professional
license counseling.
00:01:50.15\00:01:52.35
Oh, congratulations.
00:01:52.38\00:01:54.53
Now you are a Christian?
00:01:54.56\00:01:56.78
Oh, yes. Amen.
00:01:56.81\00:01:58.30
You see there
was such enthusiasm.
00:01:58.33\00:02:00.78
Yes I love that. He loves you.
00:02:00.81\00:02:02.05
Oh, yeah, he is
the love of my soul.
00:02:02.08\00:02:04.20
Oh, that's wonderful.
00:02:04.23\00:02:06.04
Let's talk about
Jannise, you know
00:02:06.07\00:02:07.78
and you know I want to
say to our viewing audience
00:02:07.81\00:02:10.32
my middle name is
Jannise, Kim Jannise
00:02:10.35\00:02:12.83
and this is Jannise Michelle.
00:02:12.86\00:02:14.35
I just love that.
00:02:14.38\00:02:15.45
What's the middle name?
00:02:15.48\00:02:16.93
Jannise.
00:02:16.96\00:02:18.06
I didn't know that. You did.
00:02:18.09\00:02:19.43
Okay, move it right along, okay.
00:02:19.46\00:02:21.64
He knew that.
00:02:21.67\00:02:22.85
All right, well, let's
talk about a time to reboot.
00:02:22.88\00:02:26.48
Tell us about some other things
00:02:26.51\00:02:27.86
you have experienced in our life
00:02:27.89\00:02:29.60
over these last 20, 25 years.
00:02:29.63\00:02:32.03
Sure.
00:02:32.06\00:02:33.09
Well, I am and I'm
going on into my dark hood,
00:02:33.12\00:02:38.25
there was a
promiscuous lifestyle
00:02:38.28\00:02:41.01
that I lived.
00:02:41.04\00:02:42.07
Of course, when you come
into the knowledge of God
00:02:42.10\00:02:44.80
and who He is
00:02:44.83\00:02:45.89
and knowing that
He loves you so much
00:02:45.92\00:02:49.77
there is a lot to be
said about where you are,
00:02:49.80\00:02:53.36
who you are and your desire
00:02:53.39\00:02:55.76
who you're asking
Him to call you to be.
00:02:55.79\00:02:59.04
And so I began to give--
00:02:59.07\00:03:01.30
I gave my life to
the Lord at the age of 19
00:03:01.33\00:03:05.87
and then walking
with Him ever since.
00:03:05.90\00:03:09.19
I'm just putting away
the lifestyle of wrong doings
00:03:09.22\00:03:15.57
and games and just saying
that this is not who I am.
00:03:15.60\00:03:21.26
Now you said game,
00:03:21.29\00:03:22.43
were you involved
in a game Jannise?
00:03:22.46\00:03:24.38
Wait a minute, I
can't believe that.
00:03:24.41\00:03:25.46
Now you are so sweet.
00:03:25.49\00:03:27.34
Oh, my Lord, you get--
00:03:27.37\00:03:28.51
how did you get involved
and caught up in a game?
00:03:28.54\00:03:32.05
I was thinking about money.
00:03:32.08\00:03:35.99
Thinking that
survival and that was just
00:03:36.02\00:03:39.06
a part of that
chaotic type the lifestyle.
00:03:39.09\00:03:41.62
I see.
00:03:41.65\00:03:42.68
And pretty much I
was looking at a man
00:03:42.71\00:03:46.30
and he took
someone threatening my life
00:03:46.33\00:03:49.46
and hold me at gunpoint
00:03:49.49\00:03:50.92
and saying they
were gonna take my life.
00:03:50.95\00:03:53.22
And a little
angel which was a little
00:03:53.25\00:03:56.25
one and half year
old young man that my son
00:03:56.28\00:04:00.71
and came and
scared the man away.
00:04:00.74\00:04:02.58
What.
00:04:02.61\00:04:03.73
Stood before him
and he was frightened
00:04:03.76\00:04:06.03
and that just
changed my life forever
00:04:06.06\00:04:07.95
because that was not
what I should have been doing
00:04:07.98\00:04:11.49
and I put this little child
00:04:11.52\00:04:13.40
that just started
walking in harm's way.
00:04:13.43\00:04:15.01
My, my, my.
00:04:15.04\00:04:16.07
And I'm just been
running ever since.
00:04:16.10\00:04:18.67
So you have a
son, how old is he now?
00:04:18.70\00:04:20.64
He is 20 years old.
00:04:20.67\00:04:22.34
No, you look 20
yourself. Thank you.
00:04:22.37\00:04:25.62
You know, God is beautiful.
00:04:25.65\00:04:26.68
You guys have
great relationship.
00:04:26.71\00:04:27.89
Wonderful. Okay.
00:04:27.92\00:04:29.79
Now let me ask you this,
00:04:29.82\00:04:31.13
all right, so
during this process
00:04:31.16\00:04:33.64
you went
through a game and you--
00:04:33.67\00:04:35.91
how did you make the
transition from the game
00:04:35.94\00:04:37.94
going back to school to say
this is not the life for me?
00:04:37.97\00:04:41.64
Well, I had lived in
the projects and I was not--
00:04:41.67\00:04:48.07
telling like this
is just what I have.
00:04:48.10\00:04:50.63
This wasn't me. Yes.
00:04:50.66\00:04:52.73
I just saw like there
was something much greater,
00:04:52.76\00:04:54.94
so as I began to
come out of the lifestyle
00:04:54.97\00:04:59.80
and that very tragic
evening that had occurred
00:04:59.83\00:05:03.57
I just really
start to look to God
00:05:03.60\00:05:05.74
and He began to direct myself.
00:05:05.77\00:05:08.46
And I had
thought about the women
00:05:08.49\00:05:11.75
that I lived in
the project area--
00:05:11.78\00:05:15.20
Yes.
00:05:15.23\00:05:16.26
And had said that
with me being there
00:05:16.29\00:05:19.20
and not wanting this
00:05:19.23\00:05:20.40
I wanted to begin to learn
how to develop professionally
00:05:20.43\00:05:26.89
through going through a process
00:05:26.92\00:05:28.65
and just again
running for the Lord.
00:05:28.68\00:05:31.23
And so I began to
start a small business
00:05:31.26\00:05:35.03
that talks about--
00:05:35.06\00:05:36.76
that taught me how to develop
00:05:36.79\00:05:39.49
on both personally
and professionally.
00:05:39.52\00:05:42.41
Let me ask, the people
that you were in-game with,
00:05:42.44\00:05:47.44
did they still
try to encourage you
00:05:47.47\00:05:50.35
or tried to get you
to still participating,
00:05:50.38\00:05:53.81
be friends with them or what?
00:05:53.84\00:05:56.57
It was awesome.
00:05:56.60\00:05:57.65
When I say that God did a
miraculous quick work with me
00:05:57.68\00:06:04.23
when it's one thing when you say
00:06:04.26\00:06:06.43
that you're going to repent
00:06:06.46\00:06:08.34
you're gonna
give your life to God
00:06:08.37\00:06:10.03
but as another when
you truly make a decision
00:06:10.06\00:06:13.19
and God hears your cry
00:06:13.22\00:06:16.35
and He just turned
quickly and I never looked back.
00:06:16.38\00:06:20.83
So it was no other opportunities
00:06:20.86\00:06:22.92
for me to ever go.
00:06:22.95\00:06:25.98
We were talking about
getting out of the games and,
00:06:26.01\00:06:29.48
you know, you said
that God wanted you--
00:06:29.51\00:06:33.11
did a miraculous thing.
00:06:33.14\00:06:34.77
He just took you away
with no emphasis involved.
00:06:34.80\00:06:39.37
Actually just I began to think
00:06:39.40\00:06:41.77
about the days ahead in my wife
00:06:41.80\00:06:45.50
and that I wanted to change,
00:06:45.53\00:06:49.13
I desired to change.
00:06:49.16\00:06:51.32
So because of that
I truly just saw God
00:06:51.35\00:06:55.25
and ran for my life
and just did not turn back.
00:06:55.28\00:06:59.73
And He blessed me
and blessed my life
00:06:59.76\00:07:03.98
to where it wasn't a
fear that I had of anyone.
00:07:04.01\00:07:08.07
I moved from the
neighborhood that I was in
00:07:08.10\00:07:12.19
and I began to move forward
00:07:12.22\00:07:15.20
and He has truly been
directing me every since.
00:07:15.23\00:07:18.82
How did your
family, you know, adjust to,
00:07:18.85\00:07:22.37
you know, you be in one way
00:07:22.40\00:07:23.54
then changing over
and being another way.
00:07:23.57\00:07:26.71
You know, how
was that, you know?
00:07:26.74\00:07:28.78
They had been praying for me,
00:07:28.81\00:07:31.10
especially my sister
she would often taught me
00:07:31.13\00:07:35.10
you should go to church
and you should really see God.
00:07:35.13\00:07:39.13
Because at one point it
was where they had this--
00:07:39.16\00:07:43.50
my father had just
own me, my brother--
00:07:43.53\00:07:46.69
yes, because of the lifestyle
00:07:46.72\00:07:48.79
but again I'm just
looking on to Jesus.
00:07:48.82\00:07:53.48
Okay.
00:07:53.51\00:07:54.92
Now we're at a point
where you are meeting someone
00:07:54.95\00:07:59.57
and you were married.
00:07:59.60\00:08:02.02
All right,
let's talk about that.
00:08:02.05\00:08:04.05
Well, once I--
after about ten years
00:08:04.08\00:08:07.96
and walking with the Lord
00:08:07.99\00:08:09.38
and I felt that at 29
years old at that point
00:08:09.41\00:08:14.07
that I wanted to be married.
00:08:14.10\00:08:18.00
I decided this.
00:08:18.03\00:08:19.67
Everything was going well,
00:08:19.70\00:08:22.08
I actually had
started school ministry
00:08:22.11\00:08:24.50
and stopped and decided
00:08:24.53\00:08:28.28
that I was going to go
ahead and just get married.
00:08:28.31\00:08:31.34
And I was taking
my eyes off of prayer,
00:08:31.37\00:08:34.25
I should have had them directed.
00:08:34.28\00:08:35.89
Okay.
00:08:35.92\00:08:36.95
And had met a man that
I felt comfortable with,
00:08:36.98\00:08:41.04
to knowing his
family for about nine years
00:08:41.07\00:08:44.69
but he was not ready.
00:08:44.72\00:08:47.34
He was not what?
00:08:47.37\00:08:48.54
He was not ready
in the word okay,
00:08:48.57\00:08:50.87
like I was and I
began walk in my faith.
00:08:50.90\00:08:56.46
So he did began
to come to my church
00:08:56.49\00:08:59.01
for about two years,
00:08:59.04\00:09:00.12
we did go through
counsel and he truly pursued me
00:09:00.15\00:09:05.84
for about two years.
00:09:05.87\00:09:07.91
And after that I
kind of say okay,
00:09:07.94\00:09:12.12
yeah, well, we can do this.
00:09:12.15\00:09:14.50
So you got
married? I did get married.
00:09:14.53\00:09:16.45
Okay. How long did it last?
00:09:16.48\00:09:18.34
Actually about six months
00:09:18.37\00:09:19.68
and I stayed in
it for four years.
00:09:19.71\00:09:21.53
Okay.
00:09:21.56\00:09:23.20
So during this process
things began to change,
00:09:23.23\00:09:25.99
what began to change?
00:09:26.02\00:09:27.88
There was a lot of isolation
00:09:27.91\00:09:32.33
and where my ex-husband work
00:09:32.36\00:09:36.07
and constantly work or
he would say he was working
00:09:36.10\00:09:39.55
and so then I had
gotten a call at the home
00:09:39.58\00:09:42.07
from the woman
that he had been seeing
00:09:42.10\00:09:45.29
and she talks
about their relationship
00:09:45.32\00:09:47.74
that had been
ongoing for five years.
00:09:47.77\00:09:49.83
At that time we
had been in a marriage
00:09:49.86\00:09:52.61
for about two and a
half, going on three years.
00:09:52.64\00:09:56.56
So that's when I decided,
00:09:56.59\00:09:58.00
after I had it
know there was others
00:09:58.03\00:10:02.47
and we did have a
gym and we committed
00:10:02.50\00:10:04.75
that not to allow
the woman in our gym.
00:10:04.78\00:10:06.88
But I will forgive
him. I forgave him.
00:10:06.91\00:10:09.12
Over and over. Over and over.
00:10:09.15\00:10:11.11
Different women? Yes.
00:10:11.14\00:10:12.98
And this lasted
for four years? Yes.
00:10:13.01\00:10:16.45
But he had been
involved in relationship
00:10:16.48\00:10:17.90
with this other
woman for five years
00:10:17.93\00:10:19.29
and two of the years
you were married to him.
00:10:19.32\00:10:21.23
Right. That's
two and half years.
00:10:21.26\00:10:23.21
Did any children
come out of these affairs?
00:10:23.24\00:10:25.53
No. Okay.
00:10:25.56\00:10:27.32
And you too did
not have any children?
00:10:27.35\00:10:28.89
No.
00:10:28.92\00:10:29.96
So some of the aspects
I mean different women,
00:10:29.99\00:10:33.17
multiple affairs
00:10:33.20\00:10:35.19
and out of that no
children in your relationship.
00:10:35.22\00:10:38.34
What did that do
to your self esteem?
00:10:38.37\00:10:40.46
I felt better and I felt
as if this was again a choice
00:10:40.49\00:10:46.85
that I had gone into
00:10:46.88\00:10:48.41
but I began to seek the Lord
00:10:48.44\00:10:50.64
continuously
throughout the marriage,
00:10:50.67\00:10:53.11
I was seeking the Lord
and finally I said God,
00:10:53.14\00:10:56.08
I don't-- this I
can take this no more.
00:10:56.11\00:11:00.13
And I don't believe in divorce
00:11:00.16\00:11:02.86
so I did fast and pray,
00:11:02.89\00:11:06.01
I just began to fast and pray
00:11:06.04\00:11:07.62
and I sought the
Lord and I asked Him
00:11:07.65\00:11:09.91
to deliver me
out of this marriage.
00:11:09.94\00:11:12.39
I wanted out and I
believe that the Lord
00:11:12.42\00:11:15.75
had given me that He
will make a way of escape
00:11:15.78\00:11:18.41
but it wasn't for me to
ask for the divorcement.
00:11:18.44\00:11:21.85
And I went back
because I had went away
00:11:21.88\00:11:25.31
to pray for a couple of days
00:11:25.34\00:11:27.76
and then I went back
and I spoke to my husband
00:11:27.79\00:11:31.45
and I told him that
I have been in prayer
00:11:31.48\00:11:33.93
and that the marriage had
been very mentally abusive
00:11:33.96\00:11:38.35
and it was now right
00:11:38.38\00:11:40.16
and I really wish that
he would leave me alone
00:11:40.19\00:11:43.31
or choose to have counsel
00:11:43.34\00:11:45.98
for us to get
marriage counseling
00:11:46.01\00:11:47.63
because I told him
that he needed help
00:11:47.66\00:11:49.87
and I needed
strength to stay in it.
00:11:49.90\00:11:53.32
And he said
well, I'll let you know
00:11:53.35\00:11:55.13
and finally he got back to me
after about two or three weeks
00:11:55.16\00:11:59.57
probably almost a month later.
00:11:59.60\00:12:01.90
And still living
in the same household
00:12:01.93\00:12:05.85
just not
speaking to one another,
00:12:05.88\00:12:07.39
not sleeping with one another
and he finally said okay,
00:12:07.42\00:12:10.98
I don't want counsel,
I'm not doing counsel.
00:12:11.01\00:12:14.37
I'm not even gonna
counsel with God himself
00:12:14.40\00:12:16.95
but I am gonna
give you what you want
00:12:16.98\00:12:18.92
and I'm gonna leave you alone.
00:12:18.95\00:12:20.76
And I said wow, but I won,
00:12:20.79\00:12:23.03
okay and then he served
me with divorcement papers.
00:12:23.06\00:12:28.31
So that must have been
00:12:28.34\00:12:29.43
devastating for
you at that point?
00:12:29.46\00:12:32.38
Honestly it was a relief.
00:12:32.41\00:12:35.46
Okay. A relief.
00:12:35.49\00:12:36.54
I was thanking God
for the way of escape.
00:12:36.57\00:12:39.61
Yeah.
00:12:39.64\00:12:40.83
I was because the process
of going through the marriage,
00:12:40.86\00:12:45.12
through the abuse of
mentally being accused
00:12:45.15\00:12:48.43
whereas heart and to
be able to come out of it.
00:12:48.46\00:12:55.00
I felt that this was a blessing.
00:12:55.03\00:12:57.99
So now your life
is like restarting?
00:12:58.02\00:13:01.02
This is getting to a
whole new transformation.
00:13:01.05\00:13:06.54
Yes. So how was that for you?
00:13:06.57\00:13:09.03
It has been great.
00:13:09.06\00:13:10.19
Since then its been since 2008
00:13:10.22\00:13:17.38
and since that
time I've been back
00:13:17.41\00:13:20.65
and just looking and saying Lord
00:13:20.68\00:13:24.04
I still although
I wanted marriage,
00:13:24.07\00:13:27.50
I desire
marriage as a single woman
00:13:27.53\00:13:31.45
and still there's been
times where I would date
00:13:31.48\00:13:37.82
but I would say okay,
00:13:37.85\00:13:39.49
I really have to
give myself some time.
00:13:39.52\00:13:41.72
Yes, purging yourself. Yes.
00:13:41.75\00:13:44.00
I really need
it to do it myself.
00:13:44.03\00:13:45.69
And during this time from
2008 you've been celibate?
00:13:45.72\00:13:48.31
Yes.
00:13:48.34\00:13:49.41
And when we talk about celibacy
00:13:49.44\00:13:52.65
refraining from
sexual relationship
00:13:52.68\00:13:55.13
and in our society
today you know that's not--
00:13:55.16\00:13:57.53
that's unheard of.
00:13:57.56\00:13:58.59
You know, it's okay, you know,
00:13:58.62\00:14:00.04
you meet a man you meet a woman
00:14:00.07\00:14:01.68
become sexually involved
00:14:01.71\00:14:02.98
two or three weeks
later you break up,
00:14:03.01\00:14:04.88
two or three months
later you are with someone else
00:14:04.91\00:14:06.86
becomes a vicious cycle.
00:14:06.89\00:14:08.59
And we have to
stand on God's Word
00:14:08.62\00:14:11.24
to trust in the Lord.
00:14:11.27\00:14:12.32
Arthur, that's just
scripted trust in the Lord
00:14:12.35\00:14:14.57
and wait on the Lord.
00:14:14.60\00:14:16.44
And so god is He
really has a blessing for you.
00:14:16.47\00:14:19.87
So you do want to
remarry and have that family?
00:14:19.90\00:14:23.51
Absolutely.
00:14:23.54\00:14:25.15
Being celibate is not just that
00:14:25.18\00:14:27.88
and what I also heard you say
00:14:27.91\00:14:30.38
is that in a process
00:14:30.41\00:14:32.56
you was developing
00:14:32.59\00:14:33.80
or increasing your
relationship with the Lord
00:14:33.83\00:14:37.08
and expecting Him
to give you the answer
00:14:37.11\00:14:39.42
and help you provide a
way out of this situation.
00:14:39.45\00:14:42.71
And I would assume
that even at this point
00:14:42.74\00:14:46.12
that on a daily basis
00:14:46.15\00:14:47.75
that's something that
you are requesting from Him
00:14:47.78\00:14:50.25
to give you
guidance and leadership
00:14:50.28\00:14:52.66
to helping make
the best decision.
00:14:52.69\00:14:54.19
Yes.
00:14:54.22\00:14:55.25
You know, is that a process
00:14:55.28\00:14:58.66
where you see the results
of what you're asking for?
00:14:58.69\00:15:02.45
Yes.
00:15:02.48\00:15:04.12
Just making a decision
and I sat down, in 2010
00:15:04.15\00:15:09.50
and there was sex
area specifically I said,
00:15:09.53\00:15:12.90
the relationship
because being a married you--
00:15:12.93\00:15:15.78
I enjoyed the marriage
and there's relationships
00:15:15.81\00:15:19.97
that we were
involved in marriage
00:15:20.00\00:15:22.68
that a man and a
woman should enjoy
00:15:22.71\00:15:24.92
being able to enjoy one
another through sex relations.
00:15:24.95\00:15:28.80
And so of course,
00:15:28.83\00:15:29.86
those desires
don't necessarily go away
00:15:29.89\00:15:32.78
but the Lord can cause
you to abstain from them.
00:15:32.81\00:15:35.97
And so I was just ask God
00:15:36.00\00:15:37.73
help me with
relationship, desire,
00:15:37.76\00:15:40.84
help me with financial issues,
00:15:40.87\00:15:43.09
help me with even
my health and fitness
00:15:43.12\00:15:46.39
and go planning
and time management
00:15:46.42\00:15:50.29
and just the way that I
did things on a daily basis
00:15:50.32\00:15:53.57
that each and every
one of us experience
00:15:53.60\00:15:56.86
throughout our
lives fitness and health
00:15:56.89\00:15:58.94
and finance and
things that sort.
00:15:58.97\00:16:00.59
So those were areas that I said
I desired to be rebooted in it.
00:16:00.62\00:16:05.46
I said really strengthening.
00:16:05.49\00:16:07.15
So in 2010 this was a way
that I've been recharged again
00:16:07.18\00:16:12.53
after two years of
being out of the marriage.
00:16:12.56\00:16:15.60
And so I'm happily
rocking in that now
00:16:15.63\00:16:18.48
and finishing up
the master's degree
00:16:18.51\00:16:20.90
that's part of that.
00:16:20.93\00:16:22.53
Financial increase, weight loss
and just simply sitting down
00:16:22.56\00:16:28.60
and saying Lord, I
desire Your vision for my life.
00:16:28.63\00:16:31.95
Oh, nice.
00:16:31.98\00:16:33.50
How about your son?
00:16:33.53\00:16:34.62
I mean, can he see
00:16:34.65\00:16:37.37
some of these
changes that have occurred.
00:16:37.40\00:16:40.77
Yes. It says
the divorce in 2008.
00:16:40.80\00:16:43.21
You know, how
motivating this is for you now?
00:16:43.24\00:16:46.41
My son is a
extraordinary young man
00:16:46.44\00:16:50.06
and that he was and very happy
00:16:50.09\00:16:52.80
actually from the
divorcement sadly to say
00:16:52.83\00:16:55.90
but he was able to look at me
00:16:55.93\00:16:59.08
and see the strength
that I was able to hold on to
00:16:59.11\00:17:01.80
and now he's a
entrepreneur himself,
00:17:01.83\00:17:04.69
he is in college
and pursuing his degree
00:17:04.72\00:17:07.08
and he's doing very well
on his own as a young man.
00:17:07.11\00:17:11.20
And just rising
above influence in south
00:17:11.23\00:17:13.93
as well as he
practiced abstinence
00:17:13.96\00:17:16.59
and he talks to high
school students about.
00:17:16.62\00:17:20.01
He is how old?
He is 20 years old.
00:17:20.04\00:17:21.95
That is a blessing.
00:17:21.98\00:17:23.81
So you can, you can abstain
from sexual relationships in--
00:17:23.84\00:17:31.31
God ordained us to
wait, to wait on the Lord.
00:17:31.34\00:17:35.92
Yeah. So now
let me ask you this.
00:17:35.95\00:17:37.58
You are a Christian,
your mom woman of God,
00:17:37.61\00:17:42.33
you've earned a college degree
00:17:42.36\00:17:43.86
now you completing your masters,
00:17:43.89\00:17:45.69
why a degree in counseling
00:17:45.72\00:17:47.10
and LPC a licensed professional
counselor which I am also?
00:17:47.13\00:17:51.50
And I hold it dear to me
because I love helping people.
00:17:51.53\00:17:55.08
Why are you earning
a degree in counseling?
00:17:55.11\00:17:57.93
Part of going
through the process
00:17:57.96\00:17:59.59
of professional development
00:17:59.62\00:18:01.13
and when I
started my small business
00:18:01.16\00:18:03.11
with talking about
professional development
00:18:03.14\00:18:05.73
I found that a lot
of persons in with,
00:18:05.76\00:18:08.18
even myself in looking
00:18:08.21\00:18:09.92
and being
transparent with myself.
00:18:09.95\00:18:12.62
Sometimes it's
hard to see yourself
00:18:12.65\00:18:14.70
professionally developed
00:18:14.73\00:18:15.85
if you're not
personally developed.
00:18:15.88\00:18:18.56
And so I wanted to become
skilled in the area really
00:18:18.59\00:18:22.19
of really
helping persons process,
00:18:22.22\00:18:26.11
the personal
aspects of their life
00:18:26.14\00:18:29.49
and helping them behold
and looking in counseling,
00:18:29.52\00:18:33.84
that is what we do as
we help actually people
00:18:33.87\00:18:37.41
that are healthy
become healthier.
00:18:37.44\00:18:39.88
All right, healthier.
00:18:39.91\00:18:42.12
Yes, Kim, but-- I
need to be healthier.
00:18:42.15\00:18:44.89
I've been telling
that for a long time.
00:18:44.92\00:18:46.72
You know, you know
what, he is so funny.
00:18:46.75\00:18:48.92
You know, what we--
00:18:48.95\00:18:50.13
I also look at
the fact that how--
00:18:50.16\00:18:52.81
I really should
complement each other
00:18:52.84\00:18:54.31
for us to be healthy, you know.
00:18:54.34\00:18:56.52
Let me ask this,
00:18:56.55\00:18:59.05
what can you say
to women to anyone,
00:18:59.08\00:19:03.73
you know, what
can you say to them
00:19:03.76\00:19:05.22
to encourage them?
00:19:05.25\00:19:06.67
I would say being a woman of God
00:19:06.70\00:19:10.08
that its virtue that we possess
00:19:10.11\00:19:13.66
and it is really the scripture
00:19:13.69\00:19:16.22
that talks
about a virtuous woman
00:19:16.25\00:19:18.70
but also there is
virtuous man as well.
00:19:18.73\00:19:21.44
Yes.
00:19:21.47\00:19:22.53
But our price is valuable
and we are to look at ourselves
00:19:22.56\00:19:27.88
as having such a wealth of value
00:19:27.91\00:19:30.76
that we should not
lower our standards
00:19:30.79\00:19:33.56
by any means and
that's living a holy life,
00:19:33.59\00:19:37.58
that's living a life
that can be exemplifiable,
00:19:37.61\00:19:41.61
because there are
people that look to you,
00:19:41.64\00:19:43.64
there are people
that needs to have hope,
00:19:43.67\00:19:46.24
the need to be also recharged
00:19:46.27\00:19:48.18
and just need a direction
of how to be redirected
00:19:48.21\00:19:51.72
because we are all
sinners saved by His grace.
00:19:51.75\00:19:54.54
That's right. That's' right.
00:19:54.57\00:19:55.60
So we can have that opportunity
to looking on and say Lord,
00:19:55.63\00:19:59.63
our Master, give backup
again and keep on going.
00:19:59.66\00:20:04.07
But your very
being should command
00:20:04.10\00:20:07.12
and ordain predestined promises
00:20:07.15\00:20:10.42
for your lives,
individual lives.
00:20:10.45\00:20:13.28
You should command it. Yes.
00:20:13.31\00:20:14.81
You should be
able to walk in a level
00:20:14.84\00:20:16.71
or authority that will claim
00:20:16.74\00:20:19.35
what is rightfully yours
being in a royal priesthood
00:20:19.38\00:20:22.82
and knowing who your daddy is.
00:20:22.85\00:20:25.65
And you just recharged
me. I'm already charged.
00:20:25.68\00:20:28.35
I was so happy you're recharged.
00:20:28.38\00:20:29.78
I'm so recharged, I'm
rebooting, I'm already--
00:20:29.81\00:20:32.04
What does that mean to me?
00:20:32.07\00:20:33.12
Well, I get this
much on my plate already,
00:20:33.15\00:20:34.86
it's time to take it
to another level, right.
00:20:34.89\00:20:37.14
Because God is never stagnant.
00:20:37.17\00:20:38.68
He wants us
constantly growing and moving
00:20:38.71\00:20:41.57
and so therefore, you know,
00:20:41.60\00:20:43.52
something Arthur said yesterday,
00:20:43.55\00:20:45.47
we were in church, we
have to expect success
00:20:45.50\00:20:49.17
and if we don't
expect it won't happen.
00:20:49.20\00:20:51.75
You know and its one thing
00:20:51.78\00:20:53.32
to be able to look at
yourself and say well,
00:20:53.35\00:20:55.81
this is what I want for my life
but you have to take action.
00:20:55.84\00:20:59.11
You can talk all day
I want to do this ABCD
00:20:59.14\00:21:02.82
but how it get to
point A to point Z
00:21:02.85\00:21:05.13
if I don't take action.
00:21:05.16\00:21:06.60
Exactly.
00:21:06.63\00:21:07.66
Even more so I
think was some point
00:21:07.69\00:21:09.71
and you alluded to it
while you were speaking.
00:21:09.74\00:21:13.36
Basically you
have to get to a point
00:21:13.39\00:21:15.79
where you believe in yourself.
00:21:15.82\00:21:17.97
You know, it has to be
your relationship with God
00:21:18.00\00:21:22.40
and your faith and
that will get you through.
00:21:22.43\00:21:25.62
Many times we go through
our trials and tribulations
00:21:25.65\00:21:28.38
but unfortunately for some of us
00:21:28.41\00:21:30.64
we get into a point
00:21:30.67\00:21:31.70
where we don't
believe in ourselves.
00:21:31.73\00:21:34.21
We get so tied up
00:21:34.24\00:21:35.84
with the
negative it stagnates us.
00:21:35.87\00:21:39.61
And what I'm hearing from you
is that it didn't stagnate you
00:21:39.64\00:21:43.46
that you made a decision
00:21:43.49\00:21:45.19
that you are going
to improve your life
00:21:45.22\00:21:47.65
and at the cost of if it took
00:21:47.68\00:21:50.38
that you had to leave the
relationship, the marriage
00:21:50.41\00:21:53.88
then that was necessary
00:21:53.91\00:21:55.44
because you didn't
want the confusion.
00:21:55.47\00:21:58.45
Exactly.
00:21:58.48\00:21:59.60
And you wanted something
more for your life and your son.
00:21:59.63\00:22:02.35
And I like the
statement that you said
00:22:02.38\00:22:03.71
people are looking
to you to be recharged
00:22:03.74\00:22:06.78
to end the Lord process
in position to be used by Him
00:22:06.81\00:22:11.17
to bring glory to
His name you know.
00:22:11.20\00:22:13.60
Let me say this, the me time,
how do you get your me time?
00:22:13.63\00:22:17.37
Let's talk about
that me time a little bit
00:22:17.40\00:22:18.75
because while you are rebooting
00:22:18.78\00:22:19.86
being recharged
where is the me time?
00:22:19.89\00:22:22.54
The me time comes
from just being able to sit
00:22:22.57\00:22:25.51
and wait and be patient.
00:22:25.54\00:22:27.98
I love my quiet time
00:22:28.01\00:22:30.20
and even in a place out I'm not,
00:22:30.23\00:22:33.10
I don't even look at it
being alone and being single.
00:22:33.13\00:22:36.04
I am very... umm.. satisfied
00:22:36.07\00:22:39.16
with having my
relationship with the Lord
00:22:39.19\00:22:41.96
and Him teaching me equipping me
00:22:41.99\00:22:44.43
on how to walk in that
and not just feel like oh,
00:22:44.46\00:22:47.68
I got to have a man now.
00:22:47.71\00:22:49.49
Like I can't go a day
00:22:49.52\00:22:51.86
without having
somebody around me
00:22:51.89\00:22:53.95
because those
quiet times with Him
00:22:53.98\00:22:57.36
house me be reminded
who I really serve and I--
00:22:57.39\00:23:01.77
He has the best.
00:23:01.80\00:23:03.13
It's tailor-made
a way He has for me
00:23:03.16\00:23:07.42
whatever that may be
00:23:07.45\00:23:09.14
and again not looking at
myself because I look at my life
00:23:09.17\00:23:12.03
it is not about me
00:23:12.06\00:23:13.39
throughout the whole
course of the marriage
00:23:13.42\00:23:15.49
and going through that
00:23:15.52\00:23:16.55
I would often say
Lord, who was this for.
00:23:16.58\00:23:18.71
Yes.
00:23:18.74\00:23:19.77
And as He's brought me out of it
00:23:19.80\00:23:21.80
and being able
to be restored fully
00:23:21.83\00:23:24.77
I am able to say I understand
00:23:24.80\00:23:26.80
I thank you
because there are many
00:23:26.83\00:23:28.63
that may have gone through
00:23:28.66\00:23:30.58
or going through the same thing
00:23:30.61\00:23:32.87
that need to be able to speak
to someone and so I get stuck.
00:23:32.90\00:23:37.98
And saying that you recognize
00:23:38.01\00:23:40.28
that you don't
have to have a man
00:23:40.31\00:23:42.00
but there's been some men
that you may have dated or,
00:23:42.03\00:23:44.71
you know, what do you look for
00:23:44.74\00:23:46.85
when you're
involved with someone now?
00:23:46.88\00:23:50.54
What are the points
that that you're interested
00:23:50.57\00:23:54.05
in trying to obtain?
00:23:54.08\00:23:55.87
The motive. Okay.
00:23:55.90\00:23:57.46
The words. Okay.
00:23:57.49\00:23:59.31
Where are your words at
00:23:59.34\00:24:01.23
because when we say than we
are in relationship with God
00:24:01.26\00:24:05.17
there are some words
that should be learning,
00:24:05.20\00:24:07.84
like just the blood and
your veins and your body.
00:24:07.87\00:24:12.08
And so through
conversation they acquaint to
00:24:12.11\00:24:15.32
of course be a what human
that's gonna be an attraction
00:24:15.35\00:24:18.69
but past the attraction
you should see a firmness
00:24:18.72\00:24:23.50
of where there's a
prayer life and so I want,
00:24:23.53\00:24:26.44
I would look to hear man of God
00:24:26.47\00:24:29.20
talk about his
time spent with the Lord
00:24:29.23\00:24:32.05
just as I have that
time spent with the Lord
00:24:32.08\00:24:34.34
because how can
two walk together
00:24:34.37\00:24:36.02
except they agree?
00:24:36.05\00:24:37.37
And so there's no agreement
00:24:37.40\00:24:39.28
than it makes no sense
for the time to be spent
00:24:39.31\00:24:43.27
other than just maybe
a friendly relationship
00:24:43.30\00:24:46.19
or just being friends.
00:24:46.22\00:24:48.69
And being
monogamous and being celibate.
00:24:48.72\00:24:51.59
I want to emphasize
that. What do you want to say?
00:24:51.62\00:24:55.05
I was gonna
follow up on that. Okay.
00:24:55.08\00:24:57.12
You know, because
when I'm thinking about
00:24:57.15\00:25:00.19
I understand that you
look for the route of the man
00:25:00.22\00:25:03.74
and the motive of the
man and being on one accord.
00:25:03.77\00:25:08.50
But what if someone
was interested in you
00:25:08.53\00:25:11.21
and may not really have
00:25:11.24\00:25:13.24
the knowledge of going to church
00:25:13.27\00:25:16.43
but he was a good man you know?
00:25:16.46\00:25:18.12
I mean, I mean, would
you spend time nurturing
00:25:18.15\00:25:21.55
and trying to get
on that one accord
00:25:21.58\00:25:24.09
or would that
person not be a venturous?
00:25:24.12\00:25:26.62
Not of interest other
than again just we are to be
00:25:26.65\00:25:32.02
friendly to one another
00:25:32.05\00:25:33.28
but there's a
character behind every motive
00:25:33.31\00:25:36.64
and I fell as
though if his character
00:25:36.67\00:25:39.70
is an alignment well who
God has caught him to be.
00:25:39.73\00:25:43.66
He'll be looking all my way
and just being again a one man
00:25:43.69\00:25:47.53
and a man with attraction.
00:25:47.56\00:25:49.59
But through conversation
it will eventually come out
00:25:49.62\00:25:52.79
and it doesn't take that long.
00:25:52.82\00:25:55.02
So I don't see where I
would have to build him up
00:25:55.05\00:25:57.39
because and
that's out of the order
00:25:57.42\00:25:59.66
because it's he
that findeth the way.
00:25:59.69\00:26:01.33
Well, you know, okay,
00:26:01.36\00:26:02.66
well, you don't have
to build the love but,
00:26:02.69\00:26:05.21
you know, is there a
point where we all can be
00:26:05.24\00:26:08.67
in certain levels
spiritually, you know,
00:26:08.70\00:26:13.40
and spiritually you may be
at one level and he may not be?
00:26:13.43\00:26:19.04
Well I just want to say this,
00:26:19.07\00:26:20.32
all right, we got one minute
00:26:20.35\00:26:21.42
let's just get
caught, let's get with.
00:26:21.45\00:26:24.42
What I think we need
to look at is the fact
00:26:24.45\00:26:26.41
that God will assign
and He will ordain that mate
00:26:26.44\00:26:31.31
if you are willing
to wait on the Lord.
00:26:31.34\00:26:33.70
Micah 7:7 says,
wait I say on the Lord.
00:26:33.73\00:26:38.79
And so therefore we
must wait on the Lord.
00:26:38.82\00:26:41.99
So I just take
all this-- sometimes,
00:26:42.02\00:26:44.50
you know, you got
to agree the disagree
00:26:44.53\00:26:46.55
but I know that
God gave me a husband
00:26:46.58\00:26:49.52
who was not all into the Lord
00:26:49.55\00:26:51.82
but I was a
character of a woman of God.
00:26:51.85\00:26:55.48
And so that's a
whole another show
00:26:55.51\00:26:56.72
but we just thank God.
00:26:56.75\00:26:58.11
Listen, we are so thankful
to have you here Jannise,
00:26:58.14\00:27:01.41
and we appreciate you
and she's also an author
00:27:01.44\00:27:04.51
and we know God's
gonna bless everything
00:27:04.54\00:27:06.63
that God is doing in your life.
00:27:06.66\00:27:08.08
I see it. Oh, he's already got.
00:27:08.11\00:27:09.55
And I am rebooted
and I am recharged.
00:27:09.58\00:27:11.97
You what? I rebooted.
00:27:12.00\00:27:13.87
Praise the Lord.
And I'm recharged.
00:27:13.90\00:27:16.11
We go reboot Arthur.
00:27:16.14\00:27:17.71
Listen, I'm Dr.
Kim Logan-Nowlin.
00:27:17.74\00:27:20.03
I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:27:20.06\00:27:21.09
And thank you for being
with us on "Making it Work."
00:27:21.12\00:27:24.17
God bless.
00:27:24.20\00:27:25.36