Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. 00:00:01.06\00:00:03.30 And I'm Arthur Nowlin. 00:00:03.33\00:00:04.39 Welcome to "Making it Work." 00:00:04.42\00:00:06.66 Our topic today "Single Parenting." 00:00:38.02\00:00:41.55 Arthur, can you imagine being in a situation 00:00:41.58\00:00:45.39 where you have to raise your child all by yourself? 00:00:45.42\00:00:49.09 It would be pretty difficult, 00:00:49.12\00:00:50.81 especially during difficult times 00:00:50.84\00:00:52.43 that we're facing now. 00:00:52.46\00:00:53.62 Well, definitely the economic situation. 00:00:53.65\00:00:55.26 Absolutely. Academics. 00:00:55.29\00:00:57.19 Making sure your children are in school learning effectively. 00:00:57.22\00:01:00.49 And most of my children have such a busy lifestyle, 00:01:00.52\00:01:04.14 they're just as busy as we are as adults. 00:01:04.17\00:01:06.61 But definitely, but also their self-esteemed. 00:01:06.64\00:01:08.83 Yes, absolutely. 00:01:08.86\00:01:10.01 When the situation comes out where is dad? 00:01:10.04\00:01:12.66 Why I am not involved with my Father Day or Mother's Day? 00:01:12.69\00:01:17.52 So that's why it would take the parents-- 00:01:17.55\00:01:19.69 both parents to really go a little bit above 00:01:19.72\00:01:22.37 and beyond to stay in contact. 00:01:22.40\00:01:24.23 Well, and that not possible then that mother 00:01:24.26\00:01:27.47 or their single parent has to do both roles. 00:01:27.50\00:01:29.82 Yes. 00:01:29.85\00:01:30.90 Well, today we want to welcome Heather and Ryan Willis. 00:01:30.93\00:01:34.73 Welcome to "Making it Work." How're you doing? 00:01:34.76\00:01:37.00 Good. Excellent. 00:01:37.03\00:01:38.26 Oh, Ryan, tell us how old are you? 00:01:38.29\00:01:40.19 Nine. Nine years old. 00:01:40.22\00:01:41.64 What grade? Fifth. 00:01:41.67\00:01:43.27 Fifth grade. Do you enjoy school? 00:01:43.30\00:01:46.07 It's really good I guess, 00:01:46.10\00:01:47.54 it could be a little bit better. 00:01:47.57\00:01:48.69 How is that? 00:01:48.72\00:01:49.75 How could it be a little better? 00:01:49.78\00:01:51.79 Let's see, a little less homework. 00:01:51.82\00:01:54.94 Oh, but, Ryan, you know, 00:01:54.97\00:01:57.79 the older you get the more homework 00:01:57.82\00:01:59.32 you're gonna have. 00:01:59.35\00:02:00.39 You know, grades get harder and harder. 00:02:00.42\00:02:02.15 Don't scare a young man like that. 00:02:02.18\00:02:03.98 Oh, I'm not scaring, am I, Ryan? 00:02:04.01\00:02:05.93 Because you like, you like hard work don't it. 00:02:05.96\00:02:08.49 You know, you like challenges, don't you? 00:02:08.52\00:02:10.83 I guess you could say that. Okay. 00:02:10.86\00:02:13.21 Well, Heather, you know, 00:02:13.24\00:02:14.53 it looks like you've raised a mighty fine young man he has. 00:02:14.56\00:02:17.56 Yes. Absolutely. 00:02:17.59\00:02:18.78 You know, just tell us your story Heather, 00:02:18.81\00:02:20.85 you know, tell our viewers about Heather Willis. 00:02:20.88\00:02:24.06 Okay, well, I grew up in a ministerial family. 00:02:24.09\00:02:28.10 I am the fourth of five children and I-- 00:02:28.13\00:02:31.98 it's a very close knit family, 00:02:32.01\00:02:33.76 very loving and supportive family. 00:02:33.79\00:02:36.03 And they taught us you know, 00:02:36.06\00:02:39.04 you always put God first, you work hard, study hard, 00:02:39.07\00:02:43.11 you know, strive to be successful in God's will. 00:02:43.14\00:02:46.59 And I went through Christian education. 00:02:46.62\00:02:50.19 You know, my entire career, 00:02:50.22\00:02:52.89 went on to Oakwood College, graduated and well-- 00:02:52.92\00:02:56.41 Oakwood is in Huntsville, Alabama? 00:02:56.44\00:02:58.15 Yes. Okay. 00:02:58.18\00:02:59.21 And I got my bachelors there 00:02:59.24\00:03:01.08 and then went on to graduate school. 00:03:01.11\00:03:04.82 During my time in graduate school 00:03:04.85\00:03:06.72 I got married. 00:03:06.75\00:03:08.31 And I was married for a very short time for whatever reason. 00:03:08.34\00:03:13.04 Yes. That ended. 00:03:13.07\00:03:14.36 Okay. And that time-- 00:03:14.39\00:03:16.42 Was it-- someone there was the Seventh-day Adventists? 00:03:16.45\00:03:19.89 Yes, he was-- he was also a Christian. 00:03:19.92\00:03:23.09 He went to church. Okay. 00:03:23.12\00:03:25.49 I say that lightly. All right. 00:03:25.52\00:03:28.27 But you know, we-- we went our separate ways. 00:03:28.30\00:03:32.55 During that time I went through a period 00:03:32.58\00:03:35.85 where I sort of spiraled out of control because, 00:03:35.88\00:03:39.44 I didn't really know how to function after that-- 00:03:39.47\00:03:41.89 I didn't come from a broken family. 00:03:41.92\00:03:44.00 You know, and I felt like I had-- 00:03:44.03\00:03:46.52 I done everything the right way. 00:03:46.55\00:03:48.00 Sure. So I sort of just spiraled out. 00:03:48.03\00:03:52.48 But as a result my spiraling out of control 00:03:52.51\00:03:55.69 I got the best gift that God could have given me 00:03:55.72\00:03:58.24 and that's my Ryan here. 00:03:58.27\00:03:59.68 Excellent. 00:03:59.71\00:04:00.83 Wow, that beautiful. Look at the smile on. 00:04:00.86\00:04:03.35 He got that right. 00:04:03.38\00:04:04.58 So going back in fact that you came 00:04:04.61\00:04:06.08 from both of you were the same faith 00:04:06.11\00:04:09.15 but yet not of the same vision. 00:04:09.18\00:04:11.29 Right. 00:04:11.32\00:04:12.35 And ended going your separate ways. 00:04:12.38\00:04:14.04 So Ryan was born, 00:04:14.07\00:04:17.50 what and how did this impact your family? 00:04:17.53\00:04:20.90 It was difficult. It was tough. 00:04:20.93\00:04:23.94 My parents were very supportive, 00:04:23.97\00:04:26.31 they made it clear that they did not condone 00:04:26.34\00:04:29.20 some of my choices but they never let me down. 00:04:29.23\00:04:32.64 I lean very heavily on my family 00:04:32.67\00:04:35.77 and I mean till this day 00:04:35.80\00:04:38.20 they've been a great support for me. 00:04:38.23\00:04:40.08 Even my siblings. 00:04:40.11\00:04:41.27 And your siblings also. Yes. 00:04:41.30\00:04:43.31 Now during the time what about your peers, 00:04:43.34\00:04:45.20 your friends and your social network? 00:04:45.23\00:04:47.73 How did that impact-- 00:04:47.76\00:04:49.18 impact their regulation with them? 00:04:49.21\00:04:51.60 My parents always taught us 00:04:51.63\00:04:53.11 that your families are your friends. 00:04:53.14\00:04:55.54 I have select few friends 00:04:55.57\00:04:58.28 that I have known since early on. 00:04:58.31\00:05:02.13 And we are still very close today, 00:05:02.16\00:05:04.32 they are supportive of me, you know, there were times 00:05:04.35\00:05:09.64 when we did sort of drift apart because we have our own lives 00:05:09.67\00:05:13.87 and I was very busy, they're busy. 00:05:13.90\00:05:17.62 And they were married. Yes. 00:05:17.65\00:05:19.71 They were married still and I-- I had to live, 00:05:19.74\00:05:23.24 I had to go on with my life and there were a lot of things 00:05:23.27\00:05:25.70 that they were doing that I could not do 00:05:25.73\00:05:27.80 or I didn't feel I needed to be around you know, 00:05:27.83\00:05:32.78 at certain times because my life 00:05:32.81\00:05:34.97 was in a very different place then there's was. 00:05:35.00\00:05:37.97 So when you had Ryan, you weren't-- 00:05:38.00\00:05:39.70 after Ryan you just weren't dating at that time, 00:05:39.73\00:05:42.63 you focused on the issue with you, 00:05:42.66\00:05:44.64 God and your son. 00:05:44.67\00:05:45.78 Yes. And your family at large. 00:05:45.81\00:05:48.64 So what is your chosen profession? 00:05:48.67\00:05:50.60 I'm a professional counselor. So you're professional-- 00:05:50.63\00:05:52.79 Are you LPC, license professional counselor? 00:05:52.82\00:05:55.22 I'm-- LLPC. 00:05:55.25\00:05:56.55 Limited License Professional Counselor. 00:05:56.58\00:05:58.84 So here you are being a counselor, 00:05:58.87\00:06:00.35 counseling other parents, counseling, helping children. 00:06:00.38\00:06:03.50 Teens. Teens. 00:06:03.53\00:06:04.66 Worked at teen shelter for many years. 00:06:04.69\00:06:06.20 Oh, really? Okay. 00:06:06.23\00:06:08.42 As I know there's been some serious challenges with that. 00:06:08.45\00:06:10.76 Yes. Okay. 00:06:10.79\00:06:11.85 Yes, but I-- I could speak from life experience, you know. 00:06:11.88\00:06:15.74 Ryan, how was it for you, you know, 00:06:15.77\00:06:18.15 not being raised without a father 00:06:18.18\00:06:20.53 having just mommy in the household? 00:06:20.56\00:06:22.51 How was it for you? 00:06:22.54\00:06:25.74 It was okay, I guess. 00:06:25.77\00:06:27.94 But it was pretty hard-- 00:06:27.97\00:06:29.84 well, I didn't even know some other things 00:06:29.87\00:06:32.53 that men do and they don't do. 00:06:32.56\00:06:34.99 Like what for example? 00:06:35.02\00:06:38.14 How they dance I guess. 00:06:38.17\00:06:40.30 Yeah. 00:06:40.33\00:06:41.52 How they dance 00:06:41.55\00:06:43.17 or they what do you mean, how they dance? 00:06:43.20\00:06:45.40 What do you mean? 00:06:45.43\00:06:47.16 Well, kind of personal. 00:06:47.19\00:06:50.96 Oh, it's kind of personal, okay. 00:06:50.99\00:06:53.45 What else, you know, that you think-- 00:06:53.48\00:06:55.46 do you think children need both the mother and father? 00:06:55.49\00:06:59.09 They probably do, 00:06:59.12\00:07:00.31 because it's a really heavy load for parents. 00:07:00.34\00:07:05.73 Excellent. 00:07:05.76\00:07:07.17 And children, they need a mother and a father. 00:07:07.20\00:07:12.92 Now do you get many punishments, 00:07:12.95\00:07:16.00 do you get spankings? 00:07:16.03\00:07:17.43 How does mommy deal with something 00:07:17.46\00:07:19.48 when you misbehave or do you ever misbehave? 00:07:19.51\00:07:23.81 I misbehave every once in a while. 00:07:23.84\00:07:25.90 Once in a while. 00:07:25.93\00:07:26.96 I can believe that, Ryan, every blue moon. 00:07:26.99\00:07:29.25 All right, really, you know. 00:07:29.28\00:07:31.30 How does momma handle that? 00:07:31.33\00:07:34.07 That see is spanking, grounding, no computer. 00:07:34.10\00:07:39.93 No computer. TV. 00:07:39.96\00:07:42.23 Oh, no television, that's hard. 00:07:42.26\00:07:44.72 Is that hard? Very hard. 00:07:44.75\00:07:47.28 What do you like doing-- 00:07:47.31\00:07:49.02 what are some of your favorite activities? 00:07:49.05\00:07:51.64 Let's see, swimming, basketball, 00:07:51.67\00:07:54.14 soccer, reading, eating. 00:07:54.17\00:07:58.09 Of course. 00:07:58.12\00:07:59.20 Is mommy a good cook? Very. 00:07:59.23\00:08:02.60 That's great. That's great. 00:08:02.63\00:08:05.04 Now he just outlined some of the things that he likes-- 00:08:05.07\00:08:08.41 Yes. 00:08:08.44\00:08:09.77 How does that affect your schedule? 00:08:09.80\00:08:11.56 Oh, my. We're busy. 00:08:11.59\00:08:13.11 Yeah, I can imagine. 00:08:13.14\00:08:14.67 We're busy and I invest a lot of time 00:08:14.70\00:08:16.60 into making sure that he gets to do the things 00:08:16.63\00:08:20.11 that would make him more well rounded, 00:08:20.14\00:08:23.57 like I made sure he got to participate in karate 00:08:23.60\00:08:26.38 or he had basketball early on. 00:08:26.41\00:08:28.34 Because I know those are things that I would not naturally do, 00:08:28.37\00:08:30.95 I'm not gonna say, you know, 00:08:30.98\00:08:32.05 hey, let's go to the park and play basketball. 00:08:32.08\00:08:34.36 There were things that I did with him like we would wrestle, 00:08:34.39\00:08:37.11 you know, just like it make sure he was tough, 00:08:37.14\00:08:41.13 even though it's coming on elementary school, 00:08:41.16\00:08:42.91 it's tough and these kids are-- 00:08:42.94\00:08:45.81 Pretty cool and rough, all right. 00:08:45.84\00:08:49.04 Especially when they reach to teenage year 00:08:49.07\00:08:51.16 and you deal with that in that population-- 00:08:51.19\00:08:53.10 Yes. 00:08:53.13\00:08:54.20 There must be something to way out. 00:08:54.23\00:08:56.04 When you say, you counsel teens, 00:08:56.07\00:08:58.28 are you saying that you counsel male and females? 00:08:58.31\00:09:01.06 Okay. 00:09:01.09\00:09:02.23 So-- Yes. 00:09:02.26\00:09:03.50 You know, how does that impact you as a Christian? 00:09:03.53\00:09:07.51 Well, its-- I don't work in a Christian organization, 00:09:07.54\00:09:11.33 so I have learned to use a lot 00:09:11.36\00:09:14.37 of what we know as Bible promises 00:09:14.40\00:09:17.17 and in sort of I guess change them 00:09:17.20\00:09:20.68 to be more public oriented. 00:09:20.71\00:09:24.09 Because in a public organization 00:09:24.12\00:09:25.53 they don't really want to say, oh, God loves you so much. 00:09:25.56\00:09:28.35 You know, but I can't say, 00:09:28.38\00:09:29.88 you know, there's someone who cares for you. 00:09:29.91\00:09:31.54 You know. Promises all right. 00:09:31.57\00:09:33.08 Yeah, you know and-- 00:09:33.11\00:09:34.27 and just making it apply to them in learning 00:09:34.30\00:09:37.76 that they are someone special 00:09:37.79\00:09:40.30 and that God has ordained them for something. 00:09:40.33\00:09:42.54 Specifically for them, you know, 00:09:42.57\00:09:45.17 its-- it's interesting I get pretty creative. 00:09:45.20\00:09:47.37 You know, it's really 'cause we own 00:09:47.40\00:09:48.66 our Christian counseling clinic in Detroit 00:09:48.69\00:09:51.45 and we're able to use terms such as you know, 00:09:51.48\00:09:54.59 God-- that Lord loves you and prayer. 00:09:54.62\00:09:57.73 So I can imagine the times you want that 00:09:57.76\00:10:00.45 to be able to come out but you have to guard yourself 00:10:00.48\00:10:03.40 because you work for a public organization. 00:10:03.43\00:10:05.90 What has it done for you over the years 00:10:05.93\00:10:09.36 as individuals approached you 00:10:09.39\00:10:12.83 and wanted to begin a relationship 00:10:12.86\00:10:14.57 but did you have to put yourself on the back burner 00:10:14.60\00:10:17.07 because it was about Ryan? 00:10:17.10\00:10:18.79 I was very careful about who I brought into my life. 00:10:18.82\00:10:22.46 Because I work with children, 00:10:22.49\00:10:24.34 because I have sort of segued into psychiatric screening, 00:10:24.37\00:10:28.67 I've seen what happens 00:10:28.70\00:10:30.41 when the wrong people get involved with your children. 00:10:30.44\00:10:33.53 And because of that, 00:10:33.56\00:10:37.17 I have limited my interactions with certain people. 00:10:37.20\00:10:39.99 And I've also gotten to the point 00:10:40.02\00:10:41.75 where if I do allow someone into my life I-- 00:10:41.78\00:10:44.77 I place a time limit on it 00:10:44.80\00:10:46.34 'cause I'm a grown women and after-- if you're a grownup 00:10:46.37\00:10:49.79 then you should be able to read people, 00:10:49.82\00:10:51.45 that's what I think. 00:10:51.48\00:10:52.59 You know, what I'm saying? 00:10:52.62\00:10:53.66 So it shouldn't take too long for you to figure out 00:10:53.69\00:10:55.67 or someone to figure out whether or not this person 00:10:55.70\00:10:57.76 is going to be a benefit to you or detriment. 00:10:57.79\00:11:01.44 You know, and if-- if you don't trust them-- 00:11:01.47\00:11:04.69 Yes. Why waste your time? 00:11:04.72\00:11:06.38 Well, that's an such a powerful point 00:11:06.41\00:11:10.06 because I would assume that in the population 00:11:10.09\00:11:14.37 that you work with a lot of the young people 00:11:14.40\00:11:17.16 don't have that ability to really I guess-- 00:11:17.19\00:11:22.12 see in the future with some of the relationships 00:11:22.15\00:11:24.79 that they deal with and that's why they get in trouble. 00:11:24.82\00:11:27.46 So how do you counsel them? What do you say to them? 00:11:27.49\00:11:30.71 Well, I try not to tell them what to do 00:11:30.74\00:11:32.66 because I found that when trying to tell people 00:11:32.69\00:11:34.42 what to do, it might work for you 00:11:34.45\00:11:36.02 but it doesn't work for them. 00:11:36.05\00:11:37.74 So it's important to help them learn 00:11:37.77\00:11:40.12 to build their own skills 00:11:40.15\00:11:41.72 in their own sense of discernment, 00:11:41.75\00:11:43.52 you know, and-- and just teach them 00:11:43.55\00:11:45.41 what are the qualities that you're looking for in a friend. 00:11:45.44\00:11:48.56 What makes a good friend? 00:11:48.59\00:11:49.87 You know, what people like about you, okay, 00:11:49.90\00:11:52.56 when you are interacting with people at school. 00:11:52.59\00:11:56.18 Or if they're involved in church and all. 00:11:56.21\00:11:58.18 You know, who are you drawn to and why? 00:11:58.21\00:12:00.22 So there is a risk involved, a risk involved. 00:12:00.25\00:12:03.92 Various things that, you know, 00:12:03.95\00:12:05.40 we are quite aware of this 00:12:05.43\00:12:06.76 that you are in a relationship now. 00:12:06.79\00:12:08.91 You know, so in that relationship, 00:12:08.94\00:12:12.75 how did it come about? 00:12:12.78\00:12:14.18 I mean, was it a risk involve in dealing with that person 00:12:14.21\00:12:17.70 you gave time frames and-- and how that move forward? 00:12:17.73\00:12:22.13 There's always a risk involved. 00:12:22.16\00:12:24.97 When I met this young man, 00:12:25.00\00:12:27.73 I did not meet him under the pretense 00:12:27.76\00:12:30.14 that we were moving into a relationship, 00:12:30.17\00:12:32.08 we were friends first, he was my guitar instructor 00:12:32.11\00:12:36.17 and the very first day I met him, 00:12:36.20\00:12:39.03 he actually carried Ryan to the car for me 00:12:39.06\00:12:41.12 because it was after church service 00:12:41.15\00:12:43.70 and he was showing me something on my guitar 00:12:43.73\00:12:45.87 but in the meantime Ryan fell asleep. 00:12:45.90\00:12:48.09 And so I said, oh, man can you-- 00:12:48.12\00:12:50.98 I have to run this to the car to make two trips, 00:12:51.01\00:12:53.49 so I had to take the guitar to the car, 00:12:53.52\00:12:54.94 he said, no, no, no don't worry about it, I'll carry him. 00:12:54.97\00:12:57.35 I said oh, it's nice. 00:12:57.38\00:12:58.62 You know, I know it in the bottom. 00:12:58.65\00:12:59.78 He just took the initiative. Yes. 00:12:59.81\00:13:01.46 So that the flag right there. That was great. 00:13:01.49\00:13:04.01 You know, well, Ryan, 00:13:04.04\00:13:07.68 mommy is getting really to get married. 00:13:07.71\00:13:09.98 Yes, ma'am. Are you excited? 00:13:10.01\00:13:11.50 Very excited. 00:13:11.53\00:13:12.82 Tell us why? 00:13:12.85\00:13:14.93 Because, there hasn't been a man 00:13:14.96\00:13:17.27 in the house in a long time. 00:13:17.30\00:13:19.10 Wow. All right. 00:13:19.13\00:13:20.26 Okay, now you said there hasn't a man involved, 00:13:20.29\00:13:22.96 you know, so that must mean a lot to you. 00:13:22.99\00:13:26.46 Yes, sir. You know, well, okay, you know. 00:13:26.49\00:13:28.64 So what is some of the things that you have planned 00:13:28.67\00:13:31.12 with when you see this guy that comes to visit your mom? 00:13:31.15\00:13:36.07 Well, I just wrestle with him 00:13:39.69\00:13:41.59 seeing how great his reflexes are. 00:13:41.62\00:13:43.71 Okay, size and level, okay. 00:13:43.74\00:13:45.72 When you first met him though and you know, 00:13:45.75\00:13:48.58 you realize he was more than mommy's guitar teacher, 00:13:48.61\00:13:51.70 Wow, I think he likes my mom, 00:13:51.73\00:13:54.73 were you nervous or were you like protective of mommy? 00:13:54.76\00:13:58.86 I always protecting her. 00:13:58.89\00:14:00.47 Okay, did you ask him a lot of questions? 00:14:00.50\00:14:04.81 Not really. Not really. 00:14:04.84\00:14:06.52 But did you like him first of, you liked him? 00:14:06.55\00:14:08.84 He is pretty cool. He is pretty cool. 00:14:08.87\00:14:10.54 That's important. 00:14:10.57\00:14:11.60 And he still is. And he still is. 00:14:11.63\00:14:12.98 That's great. Well, that is a wonderful. 00:14:13.01\00:14:16.17 Let me ask you, Ryan, 00:14:16.20\00:14:18.50 what is the most important turning point of your life? 00:14:18.53\00:14:21.78 What's the most important thing in your life? 00:14:21.81\00:14:23.51 Well, when I'm met D-dad. 00:14:26.03\00:14:30.46 When you met D-dad, who is D-dad? 00:14:30.49\00:14:33.95 Darryl Dixon. 00:14:33.98\00:14:35.26 Oh, the name. 00:14:35.29\00:14:38.61 That's cute, D-dad that's nice. 00:14:38.64\00:14:41.88 That's great. 00:14:41.91\00:14:43.03 You know, so it sounds like you know, 00:14:43.06\00:14:44.80 things are really at a good point. 00:14:44.83\00:14:48.17 And what stands out even more so is how observant 00:14:48.20\00:14:53.85 and how willing Ryan is as far as to interact with Darryl. 00:14:53.88\00:14:59.02 Oh, that really. 00:14:59.05\00:15:00.15 So that's really a positive-- positive point. 00:15:00.18\00:15:03.49 You know, Heather, I hear Ryan saying, 00:15:03.52\00:15:05.96 yes, ma'am, yes, sir, and he's so articulate. 00:15:05.99\00:15:09.98 Thank you. 00:15:10.01\00:15:11.04 In today's society you know, 00:15:11.07\00:15:12.99 we have many children who speak well, 00:15:13.02\00:15:15.23 communicate well. 00:15:15.26\00:15:16.88 What did you do, 00:15:16.91\00:15:18.81 how did you get into that point to even give him 00:15:18.84\00:15:21.78 I know repetition, you know, but he is like so mannerable? 00:15:21.81\00:15:28.54 That's good thing. That's a good thing. 00:15:28.57\00:15:30.02 How did you get-- what did you do? 00:15:30.05\00:15:31.52 What did you do? 00:15:31.55\00:15:32.58 Tell our viewers, what was your secret? 00:15:32.61\00:15:33.96 What is your formula? We pray a lot. 00:15:33.99\00:15:35.67 You pray a lot. 00:15:35.70\00:15:36.89 No, seriously I feel that if someone knows 00:15:36.92\00:15:39.71 what's expected of them they will do well. 00:15:39.74\00:15:42.21 And so early on you know, 00:15:42.24\00:15:45.33 we-- we talk a lot and I let him know, 00:15:45.36\00:15:47.88 you know, how he's doing 00:15:47.91\00:15:49.52 according to what the standards are 00:15:49.55\00:15:51.79 that we live our lives by. 00:15:51.82\00:15:54.02 And I'm-- we just let him know what's expected of him. 00:15:54.05\00:15:57.67 And I remind him, 00:15:57.70\00:15:59.43 like if I call him and say you know, Ryan, 00:15:59.46\00:16:01.54 I don't hear anything. 00:16:01.57\00:16:03.10 Ryan, huh. What? 00:16:03.13\00:16:05.46 What is that I don't understand, 00:16:05.49\00:16:07.17 huh, what are you saying? 00:16:07.20\00:16:08.26 Ma'am. Yes, ma'am, I'm coming, mum. 00:16:08.29\00:16:10.56 Yeah. 00:16:10.59\00:16:11.63 And that's the way you addressed your parents. 00:16:11.66\00:16:13.59 Yes. And you still do. 00:16:13.62\00:16:15.10 Yes. Train up a child. 00:16:15.13\00:16:16.64 Train up a child in the way he should going he is old, 00:16:16.67\00:16:18.82 he shall not depart. 00:16:18.85\00:16:20.09 Well, listen viewers we have a surprise for you. 00:16:20.12\00:16:23.14 You're going to get a chance to meet Mr. Darryl Dixon. 00:16:23.17\00:16:25.77 D-dad. 00:16:25.80\00:16:26.85 D-dad, D-dad, I like the way that's sound. 00:16:26.88\00:16:29.30 That is so cool did you, did you-- you gave him a name? 00:16:29.33\00:16:32.28 We thought about it. So they were going together. 00:16:32.31\00:16:35.31 Okay, D-dad. 00:16:35.34\00:16:36.37 You want to get some t-shirts sort of thing. 00:16:36.40\00:16:37.44 You know, some t-shirts and some hats. 00:16:37.47\00:16:39.52 First we called him Dr. Pepper. 00:16:39.55\00:16:41.83 Yeah, and now D-dad. D-dad fits though. 00:16:41.86\00:16:45.72 D-dad, I like D-dad. That's a good name. 00:16:45.75\00:16:48.16 Well, stay tuned and we'll be right back. 00:16:48.19\00:16:51.73 Want to welcome you back to "Making it Work." 00:17:11.91\00:17:14.65 I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. And I'm Arthur Nowlin. 00:17:14.68\00:17:16.95 And join us is Heather Willis and Darryl Dixon. 00:17:16.98\00:17:20.30 Welcome, Darryl. Thank you, nice to be here. 00:17:20.33\00:17:22.96 Well, listen wedding bells are around the corner. 00:17:22.99\00:17:25.97 We're excited for you. 00:17:26.00\00:17:27.98 Now I want to know how did this relationship come together 00:17:28.01\00:17:31.81 because after all that Heather told us on part one, 00:17:31.84\00:17:35.55 meeting you, coming together 00:17:35.58\00:17:37.96 and how God has blessed her life 00:17:37.99\00:17:40.36 and having you now to be her future husband. 00:17:40.39\00:17:42.97 Tells us about this meeting. 00:17:43.00\00:17:45.63 Well, I met Heather at a church service, 00:17:45.66\00:17:50.48 they was-- there was this church Oakland County. 00:17:50.51\00:17:54.02 And they were have the service at the Embassy Suites. 00:17:54.05\00:17:58.57 And Heather was singing on the praise team, 00:17:58.60\00:18:01.87 the first time she sang, 00:18:01.90\00:18:04.00 I was out of town that weekend 00:18:04.03\00:18:05.76 and then I think the following weekend I came-- 00:18:05.79\00:18:08.99 Was a few weeks? 00:18:09.02\00:18:10.08 A fee weeks, that's when I met her. 00:18:10.11\00:18:12.12 And she walked up to me and asked me 00:18:12.15\00:18:14.10 if I could teach her to play guitar. 00:18:14.13\00:18:15.82 Okay. And I said, I'm sure, I will. 00:18:15.85\00:18:19.41 And didn't really take too much notice 00:18:19.44\00:18:23.50 on how cute she was but in the back of my mind, 00:18:23.53\00:18:26.53 you know, that it crossed my mind. 00:18:26.56\00:18:28.55 But, you know, so that's how-- that's how we met. 00:18:28.58\00:18:32.63 All right. 00:18:32.66\00:18:33.79 Now how many guitar lessons did you have, Heather, 00:18:33.82\00:18:36.78 before this relation went into this romance? 00:18:36.81\00:18:40.73 Well, it didn't go into a romance 00:18:40.76\00:18:43.19 it went to friendship 00:18:43.22\00:18:44.44 but I probably only had like three. 00:18:44.47\00:18:46.40 Okay, you had three lessons, all right. 00:18:46.43\00:18:48.85 You did that three lessons, okay. 00:18:48.88\00:18:51.56 And you said, something is important, 00:18:51.59\00:18:53.35 it went into a friendship. 00:18:53.38\00:18:54.80 Okay. 00:18:54.83\00:18:56.20 So how long have you all known each other 00:18:56.23\00:18:59.05 and how long before you propose and where did you propose? 00:18:59.08\00:19:04.48 Well, I've known her, therefore at least two years? 00:19:04.51\00:19:08.16 Three-- three years. 00:19:08.19\00:19:10.02 You know, what is out with guys who keeping up with these days? 00:19:10.05\00:19:13.56 You know, there is something with all men. 00:19:13.59\00:19:14.92 Hey, we got a lot going though. You got a lot going on. 00:19:14.95\00:19:17.30 Okay, all right, I'm gonna let you go. 00:19:17.33\00:19:18.88 Until the day he was really-- 00:19:18.91\00:19:21.39 Well, you know, it just, you know, 00:19:21.42\00:19:22.59 I meet a lot of men who can't remember dates, 00:19:22.62\00:19:24.73 so go back to that, Darryl, all right? 00:19:24.76\00:19:26.82 I remember every date. What day did we get married? 00:19:26.85\00:19:29.11 I forgot that one. 00:19:29.14\00:19:31.00 March six, all right. Okay. 00:19:31.03\00:19:33.38 All right, you have some, so go on. 00:19:33.41\00:19:37.06 Yes, so I proposed to her. 00:19:37.09\00:19:39.48 I took her to this Italian restaurant 00:19:39.51\00:19:41.38 that I used to go to when I wasn't dating at all, 00:19:41.41\00:19:45.20 well, I just like the food there 00:19:45.23\00:19:46.82 and I decided to take her there 00:19:46.85\00:19:50.51 and that's where I proposed to her. 00:19:50.54\00:19:51.93 Excellent. 00:19:51.96\00:19:53.07 And now I-- we-- we became close as friends. 00:19:53.10\00:19:59.41 And I-- you know, when you get older, 00:19:59.44\00:20:04.02 you kind of know faster, you know, 00:20:04.05\00:20:06.60 what you're looking for and what's good for you. 00:20:06.63\00:20:09.36 And I'm so-- you know, it was that time. 00:20:09.39\00:20:13.24 That was great. 00:20:13.27\00:20:14.30 But you know, Heather, 00:20:14.33\00:20:15.46 he wasn't of your same faith of your same denomination. 00:20:15.49\00:20:19.39 Was that a concern for you? 00:20:19.42\00:20:21.20 It was. Okay. 00:20:21.23\00:20:22.71 It was and anybody who knows me knows 00:20:22.74\00:20:26.20 that I'm very particular. 00:20:26.23\00:20:29.75 I'm very particular and we discussed it. 00:20:29.78\00:20:33.41 But Darryl since I've known him, 00:20:33.44\00:20:36.58 you know, I met him in the church, 00:20:36.61\00:20:38.11 you known, for some people that might not mean anything 00:20:38.14\00:20:40.56 but he has shown himself to be someone 00:20:40.59\00:20:43.02 who loves God and who is committed to doing 00:20:43.05\00:20:45.61 what God wants him to do. 00:20:45.64\00:20:47.41 And as he spent time with me, I would invite him come, 00:20:47.44\00:20:51.57 well, actually my brother is the one 00:20:51.60\00:20:53.77 that started it a few months after we met. 00:20:53.80\00:20:56.81 He says, oh, you got a friend who plays a guitar. 00:20:56.84\00:20:58.92 Have him come on over here 00:20:58.95\00:21:00.14 you guys do special music at Barn's church. 00:21:00.17\00:21:02.73 So that's how we actually started singing 00:21:02.76\00:21:06.50 and ministering together. 00:21:06.53\00:21:08.94 But as he would come around he would ask questions, 00:21:08.97\00:21:12.71 you know, why-- what is this? 00:21:12.74\00:21:14.25 Why do you guys do that or whatever? 00:21:14.28\00:21:16.07 And he eventually started accepting more biblical-- 00:21:16.10\00:21:22.24 biblically based truths. 00:21:22.27\00:21:23.97 Wow. That's excellent. 00:21:24.00\00:21:25.19 And recently you are baptized? Yes, ma'am. 00:21:25.22\00:21:27.17 Into the Seventh-day Adventist Church. 00:21:27.20\00:21:28.87 Yes. Congratulations. 00:21:28.90\00:21:30.41 The most important thing I guess 00:21:30.44\00:21:32.11 is brother's friendship was developing. 00:21:32.14\00:21:35.96 You-- it's easy to sense 00:21:35.99\00:21:38.12 that he has a real calm spirit about himself. 00:21:38.15\00:21:41.37 And that must've been really refreshing for you, 00:21:41.40\00:21:44.34 you know, to see that-- 00:21:44.37\00:21:45.81 That he is very layback? 00:21:45.84\00:21:46.88 Yeah, He is layback? It's something. 00:21:46.91\00:21:48.27 Yeah. 00:21:48.30\00:21:50.45 Because I'm high energy. 00:21:50.48\00:21:52.23 You are. Exactly. 00:21:52.26\00:21:53.84 I mean, if you are high energy and he is a little layback 00:21:53.87\00:21:57.23 that's to have balanced in there. 00:21:57.26\00:21:58.51 That balance, you know. 00:21:58.54\00:22:00.19 Now, Darryl, you have two daughters. 00:22:00.22\00:22:02.13 Yes. 00:22:02.16\00:22:03.19 And with Ryan you have a blended family. 00:22:03.22\00:22:05.99 How do you get along with the-- 00:22:06.02\00:22:07.66 his daughters and how do you get along with Ryan? 00:22:07.69\00:22:09.55 Because Ryan loves to wrestle, you are D-dad, all right? 00:22:09.58\00:22:12.89 Yeah, I'm-- Ryan is awesome, 00:22:12.92\00:22:15.67 awesome kid and a great guy. 00:22:15.70\00:22:18.10 And I can-- I see potential greatness in him 00:22:18.13\00:22:25.36 and now he come from a-- from a strong family. 00:22:25.39\00:22:29.24 Yes. And the thing that I-- 00:22:29.27\00:22:31.24 That I really love about Ryan is-- 00:22:31.27\00:22:33.72 is his conviction and his passion 00:22:33.75\00:22:36.87 for God at a young age and-- 00:22:36.90\00:22:42.25 you know, as coming into his life 00:22:42.28\00:22:45.21 that's something that I want-- 00:22:45.24\00:22:47.12 I feel like it's my responsibility 00:22:47.15\00:22:49.28 to make sure that he loves God with everything that he has. 00:22:49.31\00:22:53.47 And you know-- That's excellent. 00:22:53.50\00:22:55.08 Do you all pray together? Yes. 00:22:55.11\00:22:57.01 So what about the relationship 00:22:57.04\00:22:59.35 that your daughters have with Ryan? 00:22:59.38\00:23:01.34 How's that? Oh, they love each other. 00:23:01.37\00:23:03.28 They get along really well. Really? 00:23:03.31\00:23:04.86 It's really well? Yes. 00:23:04.89\00:23:06.00 That's great. That's great. 00:23:06.03\00:23:07.59 So everything seems to be falling into place. 00:23:07.62\00:23:09.71 At a place. Well, we're so happy for you. 00:23:09.74\00:23:12.96 I want to hear your ministry, 00:23:12.99\00:23:15.05 would you sing and play something for us? 00:23:15.08\00:23:17.22 Sure. 00:23:17.25\00:23:18.69 Is this song something you wrote? 00:23:20.90\00:23:22.74 I did not write this. 00:23:22.77\00:23:23.88 This is a song by a praise and worship leader Tommy Walker 00:23:23.91\00:23:27.73 and it's just one of my favorite songs. 00:23:27.76\00:23:31.49 Because there are times 00:23:31.52\00:23:32.90 when I didn't feel like I was alone and I mean, 00:23:32.93\00:23:35.97 I was never a drug addict, I was never, 00:23:36.00\00:23:38.42 you know, walking the streets or anything like that, 00:23:38.45\00:23:40.98 but it was always good to know that God was with me. 00:23:41.01\00:23:44.44 Excellent. Beautiful, beautiful. 00:23:44.47\00:23:47.03 I have a Maker 00:23:53.79\00:24:00.02 He formed my heart 00:24:03.28\00:24:07.76 Before even time began 00:24:12.57\00:24:18.94 My life was in His hands 00:24:20.34\00:24:26.90 And He knows my name 00:24:31.22\00:24:36.03 He knows my every thought 00:24:40.79\00:24:47.28 And He sees each tear that falls 00:24:50.06\00:24:58.03 And He hears me when I call 00:24:58.06\00:25:03.99 Jesus hears me when I call 00:25:06.81\00:25:13.66 He hears me when I call 00:25:17.86\00:25:25.09 Oh, that was beautiful, absolute beautiful. 00:25:27.57\00:25:30.31 This is amazing, you know, that's great. 00:25:30.34\00:25:33.54 Bringing these two ministries together. 00:25:33.57\00:25:35.86 And I know God has a tremendous blessing. 00:25:35.89\00:25:39.33 Children, do you want more children? 00:25:39.36\00:25:42.50 It's a negotiation. 00:25:42.53\00:25:45.81 Well, you know, it's been a joy. 00:25:45.84\00:25:48.45 Single parenting brings a lot of challenges. 00:25:48.48\00:25:52.00 Yes. 00:25:52.03\00:25:53.07 But if you just holdout and wait, and don't settle. 00:25:53.10\00:25:56.83 Wait for what God has for you 00:25:56.86\00:25:59.33 and God will bring you a beautiful ending, 00:25:59.36\00:26:02.81 not to the story but a new beginning. 00:26:02.84\00:26:05.84 Darryl and Arthur, would you take us out? 00:26:05.87\00:26:08.39 Well, you know, before we do that, 00:26:08.42\00:26:10.02 I just want to say that it's been a pleasure. 00:26:10.05\00:26:12.66 Definitely a pleasure. 00:26:12.69\00:26:13.81 And I think that if the Lord has a special blessing 00:26:13.84\00:26:17.08 in store for you and your family. 00:26:17.11\00:26:18.97 Yes, and we're glad to be a part of the village. 00:26:19.00\00:26:21.07 Yes. Amen. 00:26:21.10\00:26:22.71 And but we want you to come back after the honeymoon, amen. 00:26:22.74\00:26:25.78 Would you do that? For sure. 00:26:25.81\00:26:26.86 We will. Thank you. 00:26:26.89\00:26:27.94 Well, Darryl and Arthur, would you-- 00:26:27.97\00:26:29.57 take us out, can I say-- can I say-- no, okay, okay, 00:26:29.60\00:26:33.12 I leave that to Heather, all right. 00:26:33.15\00:26:34.95 Well, what you all gonna do? 00:26:34.98\00:26:36.41 Take us out. 00:26:36.44\00:26:37.61 Well, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. 00:26:37.64\00:26:39.38 And I'm Arthur Nowlin. 00:26:39.41\00:26:40.44 Thank you, for being with us on "Making it Work." 00:26:40.47\00:26:43.51 All right, guys take us out. 00:26:43.54\00:26:44.62 Let's try Swing Low. 00:26:44.65\00:26:45.78 Swing Low, all right. 00:26:45.81\00:26:47.72