Participants: Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin (Host), Arthur Nowlin (Host), Carl & Benita Dade
Series Code: MIW
Program Code: MIW000011
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00:01 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan Nowlin.
00:02 I'm Arthur Nowlin. 00:04 And welcome to "Making it Work." 00:39 Welcome back to "Making it Work." 00:41 You know, Arthur, when you think about 00:43 starting all over again, what comes to mind? 00:45 Wow, that means that I had to make some plans, 00:48 I had to think about what I'm trying to attempt to do. 00:51 All right. 00:52 And most importantly, I had to think about 00:56 what are the dynamics of-- what's gonna-- 00:58 what barriers I may face 01:02 if I'm attempting to make this process work. 01:05 I see. You know, we made some interesting changes. 01:10 We have some challenges in starting all over again. 01:13 You and I, you know, we had a baby 01:16 after our two oldest children. 01:18 Yeah. You know, your cousin called us Abraham and Sarah. 01:21 You know, what, you know, Dr. Ricardo Graham, 01:24 if you're watching today, you know, I will never forget 01:27 when you called us Abraham and Sarah. 01:28 In church. In church. 01:30 In front of all those people. 01:31 But I said, Abraham and Sarah never looked so good. 01:33 You go, girl. I know, all right. 01:35 Well, on today's broadcast 01:37 we're gonna talk about just that, starting all over again. 01:41 We want to welcome here today Carl and Benita Dade. 01:45 Welcome to "Making it Work." Welcome, guys. 01:46 Thank you. Thank you. 01:48 And thank you for having us. 01:49 Well, listen, we go way back and children growing up 01:52 and our church here in Detroit, 01:54 the Burns Seventh-day Adventist Church. 01:56 But how long have you been married? 01:58 Will be 25 years in December. 02:01 No! In December. 02:03 What? What is that, silver? 02:04 December 9th. Anniversary. 02:06 Silver anniversary. 02:07 Oh, congratulations. Thank you. 02:09 I had no idea it will be 25 years. 02:12 That's a lot of history. Yes. 02:13 Well, tell us how you met and tell us about 02:15 this beautiful love story. 02:17 Well, you know, I've always known 02:19 of Benita and her family, 02:21 you know, sister and mom because we attended 02:24 the Davison Jr. Academy, 02:26 and then they switched the name to Clinton F. Warren 02:29 on the east side of Detroit. 02:31 And then the years went by and I had, you know, 02:37 came home from Andrews and I was in church and I said, 02:40 wow, she been grown up. 02:43 Okay. Okay. 02:45 That's how the relationship started from there, you know. 02:48 Excellent. 02:49 So where did you take her on your first date? 02:51 It was Chi Chi's, Chi Chi's Restaurant. 02:55 It's the first date. Okay. 02:57 And of course you paid for dinner? 03:00 Oh, yeah, of course. Of course. 03:02 She wouldn't have went if I would have said dutch. 03:05 Well, I was gonna say dutch. 03:07 Why did you ask that question? 03:09 Well, you know, you know, 03:10 times have evolved and you don't know. 03:12 But they were not doing then, not way back then. 03:14 But some couple did do dutch even back then. 03:17 Well, if you're trying to pursue a woman, you know, 03:19 as a young man you don't do dutch. 03:20 You don't do dutch. No, you don't do dutch. 03:22 Okay, you don't dutch. 03:23 My sisters don't even accept that. 03:25 I didn't do dutch when I met-- 03:27 well, I might have. 03:29 We don't want to go there. 03:31 That's another show. 03:33 So, all right, so and you had a good time so, 03:35 from there how long did you date 03:37 before you were married? 03:39 We dated-- 03:42 Approximately about two years. 03:43 Two years. Two years. 03:46 Now who married you? We were-- 03:48 Carl and I were actually married 03:50 at the Justice of the Peace office. 03:53 We were starting to do the planning for the wedding 03:55 and it became a lot for me and that's not where 03:59 my focus wanted to go. 04:00 So we did not have the traditional church wedding 04:03 and we've been very content 04:05 and in particular me as a woman, 04:06 you see, they-- you know, people want to say well, 04:08 did you miss it? 04:09 And no, I really have not missed it. 04:11 That's a blessing. 04:12 Well, talk to us about some of the unique times 04:16 you shared together. 04:17 You know, what are some of special times 04:19 you can share with us that you've endured, 04:22 you know, especially the birth of your children. 04:24 All right. All right. 04:26 Carl and I have had a lot of precious moments. 04:31 We don't have a-- we didn't have like 04:32 a really strong social support system where 04:34 we would have like weekend getaways 04:37 or of things of that nature. 04:39 So what we had to do was, 04:40 we had to seize the moment and the opportunities. 04:44 Maybe like when Jess was in school 04:46 we would have our dates in the middle of the week, 04:49 you know, during the day time. 04:50 When she was at school? When she was at school. 04:52 You may not have it as other people have it 04:54 but you have to learn to seize your moments. 04:56 Okay, now Jessica is your oldest child 04:58 and how old is she? 04:59 Jessica is-- she's 24. 05:00 And she is now in? 05:02 In University of Cincinnati. 05:04 And I want to say that she just passed her qualifying exam? 05:07 Yes, she did. 05:08 For her PhD. I'm so excited. Which area of her interest? 05:11 What is it biology or bio-chemistry? 05:15 Biomedical. Biomedical. 05:16 Biomedical. 05:17 Right now she's in a lab and she studying AIDS virus. 05:24 Is that right? 05:25 The AIDS virus, oh, okay. 05:27 All right, now Joy is how old? 05:28 Joy is seven. 05:29 All right, so you have a 24 old. 05:30 Wait a minute. 05:31 24. 7. Wait a minute. 05:34 I mean, we are talking about some time. 05:35 I mean, what happened there? 05:37 Well, in between that time we lost some children 05:40 in between that time. 05:41 But, you know, we believe that God restores 05:44 and renew and rebuild for a reason. 05:46 Oh, powerful. You know, for a reason. 05:48 So we had to hold steadfast 05:51 and just really lean on Him for all of our guidance, 05:54 our direction. 05:56 And so when Joy was born, you know, we looked at our age, 06:00 you know, we looked at our support system. 06:03 And so we just had to put on our seatbelt 06:05 and go fast-forward. 06:07 Because you wanted a third child? 06:08 Right. No, no, second. The second. 06:10 Second child. Right. 06:12 So all right. 06:13 Because we always teetered between 06:15 that Jess being the only, 06:16 in particular after dealing with the death of his parents 06:20 and the death of my dad, 06:21 that that's the time we really realized, 06:22 you just don't wanted only if you can help. 06:26 And but we were never brave enough to-- 06:28 or I should say I didn't have the faith 06:29 to take that step and believe in God 06:31 that He does restore because He-- 06:34 But He did. Yes, He did. 06:36 He not only restored, 06:38 He gave you an opportunity to increase 06:41 because you had a third child. 06:44 Yes, we do. Okay. 06:45 And Karl is how old? 06:47 Karl is three. He is three. 06:48 He is three years old? 06:50 Now, is it true 06:51 that you are looking for a fourth child? 06:52 No. No, that is not true. 06:53 Now, that is the rumor we heard. 06:55 That's a rumor. That is a rumor. 06:56 Who put that rumor out? I did. 06:58 That's a first time heard that. 06:59 Me too. 07:01 Well, praise the Lord. 07:02 Well, how is all, you know, you are making it work? 07:05 Tell us how you are making it work? 07:06 Yes, definitely. 07:08 We are, we're relying on God 07:10 for our strength and our direction. 07:12 And we rely on each other. 07:14 I can truly say Carl is my friend. 07:16 All right. He is my friend. 07:19 We don't have traditional roles in our relationship except for, 07:23 he has to pump the gas. 07:24 I don't pump gas. 07:25 You don't? She has never. 07:27 No, ma'am. 07:28 Can I just take a moment, she don't pump gas? 07:31 This is another one of your moment. 07:32 Well, you know what, 07:33 I'm just going to just have to make that decision too. 07:36 Well, see that was all before we got married. 07:37 Was it in the wedding vows also? 07:39 That was probably was, yeah. Yes, a demand. 07:41 Before the vow take. 07:42 You say, I do not pump gas. Right. 07:44 So, you make sure her tank gets filled every-- 07:46 The night before. The night before. 07:47 Yes. Yes. 07:48 Now, you did you hear that ladies, 07:50 the night before? 07:52 God is good. 07:53 And on some occasions, 07:56 we don't work that far from each other 07:57 so I can drive to her job, leave my car, 08:00 take her car and pump her gas and then go back to my work. 08:03 That's great, Carl. 08:04 That is-- you know what? 08:05 That's what I'm saying, you're a real man. 08:07 That is wonderful. 08:09 You go to her job, you go to her job, 08:12 pick up the car, take it back-- 08:14 Yes, sir. 08:15 You don't need to linger in that. 08:17 Because its no point, you're not gonna win. 08:20 Because that situation I'm not gonna win so, 08:22 that's why just do what I need to do. 08:23 You do what you need to do and keep it moving. 08:25 And keep it moving. 08:26 Okay, so all right now, you know, 08:28 so how is it been having two daughters and then Karl. 08:33 Talk about that. 08:34 They say girls are easier than boys, 08:35 what have you come to find out? 08:38 I come to find out that they both are unique 08:41 and they both present the challenges. 08:43 Yes. 08:44 And you worry about them as a mom differently. 08:46 Okay. 08:48 But I don't find one easier than the other. 08:51 If I was to choose I would say the girls are easier for me. 08:54 Yes. And you? 08:57 Karl is active and I knew how I was, 09:00 growing up my sisters remind me all the time, 09:02 you know, this is payback. 09:05 You was sort of, you was like this, 09:07 not sort of like this but you were like this. 09:09 You were like this. 09:11 So, it's to be expected. 09:12 Boys are active, you know, 09:14 you just have to roll with them. 09:16 Now, you had-- just you and your sister you are two? 09:18 Right. 09:19 And then you had, it was just you-- 09:20 Just Tania and I. 09:21 And are you the-- you are youngest 09:23 and you are the-- Exactly. 09:25 See they're the same. Okay. 09:27 If you don't mind? 09:28 Oh, I don't mind. I'm-- 09:29 I'm so excited. 09:30 I understand. Go. 09:31 You know, one of the things I was thinking about, 09:35 you guys came together, you know, 09:38 did you have like premarital counseling 09:40 even though you got married by the Justice of the Peace? 09:42 I mean, what made you make that decision 09:44 that that you guys can be husband and wife? 09:47 Well, I think it was little love and the friendship 09:52 and the relationship itself, 09:53 the foundation and how I started out. 09:57 And I knew that I wanted a wife, 09:59 someone that I could trust 10:00 someone that was spiritually minded, 10:02 someone that was smart. 10:03 And Benita is real quick with math and science. 10:05 Real good foundation and, you know, 10:08 I just knew there was someone else out there 10:10 that could really deal with me basically. 10:13 Oh, that's great. 10:14 Even with your experience of four years at Andrews still 10:17 and you came home and there she was. 10:19 Okay. 10:20 In that process let me-- 10:23 I heard both of you make reference to 10:25 that you are friends? 10:27 Right. Okay. 10:29 What about disagreements, how do you handle that? 10:32 Well, you're gonna have disagreements. 10:34 At this stage, 10:35 what I think the real key with Carl and I 10:38 is that I truly understand his personality 10:41 and he truly understands mine. 10:43 So if he's slightly irritated, 10:46 I don't take it personal 10:47 because that has nothing to do with me. 10:49 It maybe where he's feeling, he may not be feeling well. 10:52 He maybe overwhelmed at work. We maybe overwhelming him. 10:56 So I don't take it personal. 10:58 Some days I may speak on it, some days I don't. 11:02 It's the approach now after 25 years, 11:04 it's the approach. 11:05 Okay. It's the truly approach. 11:07 You really know that person and you can tell, 11:10 okay, he is not having a good day because x, y, z. 11:14 So you compensate for that. 11:15 You know, he could tell 11:16 if he wants to talk or not talk. 11:18 How long did it take you to get to that point, you know? 11:21 Oh. 11:22 Oh, for me on how to deal with her, 11:24 it's like a while, you know. 11:25 And it was in-- 11:28 yeah, it's like a while, 11:29 you know, you're a new husband, 11:31 you know, a husband and you're new 11:33 and you're young because I was about 24-25, I think 25-- 11:36 Twenty five. 11:37 When I got married. 11:39 And I was 20, all the way loud 20. 11:43 And you know, being I think, 11:47 being the youngest in the family, 11:49 being the male, my two sisters and my mom and my dad-- 11:53 So you were a little spoiled. 11:54 That compensated, compensated. 11:57 That's a good word, okay. That it compensated. 11:59 It compensated for me a lot. 12:03 So I expect that she should do the same 12:05 and when it wasn't happening 12:06 as fast as I wanted it to happen, 12:09 you have a lot of questions like why? 12:11 Well, wait a minute. 12:13 What's wrong with her, you know. 12:14 Then it-- 12:15 and time you be and as you communicate, 12:17 as you talk about each others needs and desires, 12:20 then you have to shift gears 12:23 and you have to sort of grow up and say, you know, 12:25 maybe its time for me to step up 12:27 and to worry about our needs 12:30 as a couple as supposed to my needs as a individual. 12:34 Did you have any problems like with in-laws, 12:38 you know, I mean? 12:39 Well, of course, every marriage has some issues with in-laws. 12:42 I mean, how much you believe and this might be wrong 12:46 but I'm a true believer that when relationship 12:48 start out really good with the in-laws 12:50 then you go have that breaking of the ice 12:52 and I think that its okay, 12:54 to have some issues initially with the in-laws 12:57 and then the relationships has to grow and has to bond. 13:01 You shouldn't start out bonding initially 13:03 because some people might not like other people 13:06 coming into their circle. 13:07 That's right. That's fantastic. 13:09 You know, and so once you understand 13:12 let's just be for real, 13:13 that let's take the relationship 13:15 a little slow as far as on my in-law level 13:19 and just let God and time bring that bond. 13:22 Yeah. 13:23 Now you both are Seventh-day Adventist-- 13:25 Right. Right. 13:26 Same denomination, 13:27 you wanted to marry someone in your same faith, you did. 13:29 So you want to date someone, 13:31 you know and right after that date 13:33 of Chi Chi's that you know she was the one, 13:35 did you know he was the one? 13:37 No. No. 13:38 No. 13:39 Well, I had some intuition, you know, 13:42 in terms of she might not be the one today 13:44 but she might be the one in the future. 13:47 In the future, all right. Okay. 13:49 You know, Carl's always been deep, 13:51 ever since I've known him, since we were children. 13:53 You're pretty deep too. 13:54 I appreciate that. 13:57 So I don't know how to take that, 13:58 you viewers, all right. 14:00 But it was a compliment. 14:01 You know, I appreciate that, honey, 14:02 I do, I really do. 14:04 I'm happy. All right. 14:05 So let me ask you this, 14:06 in the midst of everything how did Jessica adapt to, 14:10 you know, Joy and now little Karl-- 14:12 'cause I've seen Jessica with her siblings, 14:14 absolutely marvelous, you know. 14:16 She adapted very well with Joy. 14:19 I didn't realize how much she wanted siblings. 14:24 So when Joy came along she was just ecstatic. 14:28 She was very happy. 14:29 They have a wonderful sister bond. 14:34 I think she was little taken back at first, 14:36 you know, by me being pregnant 14:38 and then when Karl came along, it only added to. 14:43 Because to see the three of them together 14:45 there is no age gap, it's just three children, 14:48 three siblings enjoy each other. 14:50 Fussing and laughing 14:52 at the same commercials and, you know-- 14:55 There is no age gap. 14:57 You are not sure who's 24, who's 7, who's 3. 15:00 It's nice. Oh, adorable. 15:02 It's really nice. Great. Great. 15:03 You know, so in the midst now, 15:05 Carl, you are a social worker, clinical social worker. 15:08 Yes. 15:09 And you are into school system. 15:11 The only profession-- Okay. 15:12 That-- I mean-- 15:14 It's a great profession. 15:16 It's a fantastic profession. It's a fantastic profession. 15:18 And sister Dade, you are a nurse. 15:22 Now you both and you're in school? 15:24 Yes, I am. 15:25 And tell what you're in school for 15:26 and you're going back to school. 15:27 All right, I'm a registered nurse 15:29 and I'm in school now to complete my BSEd. 15:32 Yes. Excellent. 15:33 And you're in school where? 15:35 I'm in school at Eastern Michigan University. 15:38 So, I guess you commute in-- 15:39 No, actually I just commute, 15:41 just to Liviona, 15:42 near campus and that's just 30 minutes from the job, 15:44 because I'm able to leave the job. 15:46 So just 30 minutes, its only one night a week. 15:48 All right. 15:49 So it works. Well, we make it work. 15:52 You make it work. We make it work. 15:53 See they making it work. 15:54 They make it. You make it work. 15:56 You realize, one thing that Carl and I 15:58 were talking about on the way over, 16:00 is that your goals for your family, they change. 16:03 So they are constantly changing. 16:06 So your roles in the family will change. 16:08 Yes. 16:09 So depending on what you're trying to accomplish, 16:12 depends on what that person will do 16:14 for that specific time period. 16:16 It seems like 16:19 both of your professions in the human service field, 16:22 it seems like that you can support each other, 16:24 you know, and really help each other. 16:26 Oh, yeah. And Carl, you're in school. 16:28 You're going back to school next year. 16:30 Right, for the PhD in the social work program well, 16:34 from Chipola University. 16:36 You excited, 16:37 both of you are excited about that? 16:38 I'm really excited, you know, 16:40 taking it on another level. 16:41 And you waited till the children 16:42 got little bit older? 16:43 Right. Yes. 16:45 So Carl, the day she has class, 16:46 you're getting the children, you being off work? 16:48 Well, I pick them up from school 16:50 and then we come home and we just go 16:51 through the structure, you know, the routine. 16:52 Do you cook? I've always cooked. 16:55 You're good cook? I think I am. 16:57 Is he a good cook? But she cooks better than me. 16:58 It's something I have to realize, 17:00 I thought that I cook some things better than her 17:02 but she does cook some things better than me on the health, 17:05 more health conscientious. 17:07 You know, and I want to also say 17:09 that Carl and Benita Dade also serve 17:13 on our Family Life Team for the Lake Region Conference, 17:16 where they do seminars and workshops 17:19 and they presented a phenomenal team effort 17:22 and we're looking forward to greater things 17:24 from the two of you. 17:26 And our Junior Olympics, yes, on that Sunday, 17:30 we're gonna definitely have that back. 17:32 So many parents have written us, 17:34 emailed us how much they enjoyed it and they look-- 17:37 and the children say, 17:38 why can't we have it every week. 17:40 You know, so it was a blessing. 17:41 There's the information that you provided, 17:45 in regards to diabetes-- 17:47 That was just right on target with so many people 17:49 that came up to me after it and they indicated that 17:53 that information really helped them. 17:54 Wonderful. 17:55 As well as your information, your presentation. 17:57 Both of you have a certain style that I really, 17:59 really appreciate. 18:01 And it blends together real well. 18:02 You know, 18:03 that works and also just information alone, 18:07 I mean, you both are pretty thorough 18:11 and so that's really helpful in providing any information 18:15 to a group a people and that motivates them. 18:17 And you did do that with our Family Life retreat. 18:20 How do you deal with issues of discipline 18:24 with the children? 18:25 What do you do? 18:26 I'm gonna say that, 18:28 I think between the two of us, I think I'm the disciplinarian. 18:31 You are the disciplinarian. 18:32 Jessica stated it very well. 18:34 She said, you know, 18:35 daddy didn't stress me out very much growing up. 18:37 So I thought so who did stress you? 18:41 And that was because Jessica and I 18:43 have a lot of character similarities. 18:45 Yes, they do. 18:46 And so I fostered a lot of that in terms of 18:49 I could see some of her challenges. 18:51 I was like, okay, that's some of my challenges too. 18:54 That's one of my-- so I kind of compensate. 18:56 We compensate it for each other a lot. 18:58 Which she felt 18:59 we're teaming up on her but we really wasn't. 19:01 But they do, they actually they compensate for one other. 19:03 Right. Wow. Interesting. 19:05 Very good. 19:06 How often do you go and see Jessica in Ohio? 19:09 Once a quarter-- it comes out quarterly. 19:11 Quarterly. 19:12 We're not happy with that. 19:13 You like to see her more? 19:14 We would like to see her more. 19:16 Especially for the children 19:17 because Joy really is emotionally attached to her, 19:20 their bond, you know, 19:21 by her being a female and Jess a female 19:23 their bond is different. 19:25 So she wants to see her big sister more. 19:27 Definitely. 19:28 Where do you see yourselves in the next five or six years? 19:33 Hopefully we will be 19:34 instructors at a university or in a college setting. 19:37 Okay. That's what you want to be? 19:39 That what we want to do. 19:40 And this all, 19:41 yeah this all goes back to the children 19:43 because raising them in an environment 19:45 that is can conducive, they can gain, 19:48 something from, you know, gain some spirituality. 19:52 How do you see yourselves in your church? 19:54 You know, 19:55 when you see yourself with that? 19:57 You know, because you are an elder in your church, 19:58 you know, elder, you know, 20:00 explain to our viewers what an elder is in our church 20:03 and what are the roles of the elder? 20:05 Well, the elder is a person that basically is responsible 20:08 for the spiritual growth of the congregation 20:11 or the members of that church. 20:12 And also the role of the elder is to make sure 20:15 that the church is spiritually fit consistently. 20:18 And so that means that as a elder you might have 20:20 to roll your sleeves up and feed people, 20:22 you might have to roll your sleeves up 20:24 and go visit the sick and those who are in need, 20:27 you know, of your time and of your energy. 20:30 And you have to be a person that's willing 20:31 to give spiritually, 20:34 emotionally, psychologically. 20:36 And work with your pastor. 20:37 And work with your pastor 20:38 because your pastor is the nucleus. 20:40 Right, he is the nucleus. 20:41 You know, let me ask you another question. 20:43 You were at one church and basically grew up 20:47 at that church 20:48 and you made a transition into another church. 20:50 What motivates a person to change churches? 20:53 Do you know, basically our motivating factor 20:55 was because of Jessica. 20:57 She attending Peterson-Warren Academy 20:59 and a great deal of her friends also attended Peterson 21:02 and she was at that critical point 21:04 where peer association is important. 21:07 So we sat down and we made a decision that, 21:09 you know, its okay 21:10 to transfer membership over to City Temple SDA Church. 21:14 And that and Jessica was our motivating factor 21:17 for that particular. 21:18 Carl and I can-- 21:20 it does not bother us what church we worship in 21:23 and participate in but we did, 21:25 we made that move particularly for her. 21:27 And I see Joy and even Karl, 21:29 even in the children's choir their peers 21:32 and their associates we made a decision with Mica, 21:35 you know, grew with that about transferring 21:38 from our City Temple but she said, 21:41 well, mommy, my friends are here. 21:43 And when she went to the balcony guess what, 21:46 we went to the balcony and so until that time came 21:49 when she left to go off to boarding school. 21:51 So we do, 21:52 we do understand and now even Aaron 21:54 being 11 has her peers. 21:56 But we have to guard who are children is okay with. 21:59 Aaron loves her church. 22:00 She says, I don't care what you are doing, 22:01 I'm going back to City Temple you guys can go anywhere. 22:05 Anytime we would go church, 22:06 I don't know where you all are going 22:07 but I'm going to City Temple. 22:08 Okay. Praise God. 22:09 So they do have a voice. Yes, they do. 22:11 And so it's important. 22:13 Let me ask you, 22:15 you want to be college professor, 22:16 I am a college professor. 22:17 I've been a college professor for 14 years 22:20 at Wayne County Community College District, 22:22 I've taught at Wayne State 22:24 and I've taught at other universities. 22:26 It can be demanding but its so rewarding. 22:30 And I believe that you have the talent to do that. 22:32 What talents will you bring to those students? 22:34 What will you bring to them and offer them? 22:37 I think I can offer them the love of being 22:39 progressive in your field. 22:41 Not being stagnated, 22:43 to be the best professional as you can bring, 22:46 and bring all your gifts to your profession, you know. 22:49 Yes. That's a blessing. 22:51 And now from a nursing perspective 22:54 and hiring new grads, 22:57 I see that there is a lot lacking. 22:58 There is a difference from when I went to nursing school 23:01 it was strictly no nonsense, you were expected. 23:04 So a lot of the learning responsibility, 23:06 it was on you. 23:08 Now they provide a tremendous amount of assistance 23:12 and a lot is lost in terms of critical thinking 23:16 and problems solving, taking initiative. 23:19 Yes. 23:20 And I would like to bring that peace. 23:22 I'm also passionate about preventive health 23:26 and conveying to the students that you can be 23:29 so proactive and be your patients advocate. 23:32 Oh. Let me ask-- 23:33 I like that. I like that, say that again. 23:35 Be your patients advocate. You must be their voice. 23:38 Let me ask this question. 23:41 How do you keep your faith in your profession 23:45 or do you? 23:47 Is it separate? 23:48 There is no way that I cannot. Okay. 23:50 There are many situations that you encounter 23:52 and typically I ask the Lord to go before me, 23:56 let me see the things that I need to see for the day. 24:00 I can't be everywhere, 24:02 I'm working currently now as a sister director for nursing 24:05 at a rehab facility. 24:06 So I cannot be everywhere. 24:09 So I ask the Lord, go before me key-- 24:12 let me key into those things that I need to key 24:14 and that's critical for a patient. 24:17 And I know for me as a school social worker, 24:20 I have to pray before I get out the car, 24:23 because you have to have 24:24 that listening ear for your students 24:26 and you don't know what's gonna happen. 24:27 When you work in schools, 24:29 the element changes day-- 24:31 from day to day. 24:32 So you have to be geared up and have your armor 24:35 and your shield of protection. 24:37 You know, in terms of having open mind 24:40 and being willing to listen, 24:42 be willing to give for that day, 24:44 you know, because like I say a lot of things happen 24:46 during the course of those six hours. 24:48 Oh, you better believe. That you are in that school. 24:50 Yeah, and you know, 24:51 the other day I was talking to a student at-- 24:54 like in one of my college classes 24:55 and I just told them they're on my prayer list, 24:58 I pray for them and when I walk in the school 25:00 I actually pray before I get out the car 25:02 because you may have a student 25:03 who's angry with you, irate with you 25:05 and its so important. 25:06 I know, you're gonna bring a lot to the table. 25:09 What can you say to our viewers right now 25:12 to keep making it work? 25:13 Encourage them right now. 25:16 Try not to think of your spouse as the enemy 25:18 but as a team player. 25:20 You know, listen to the need, 25:23 you know, do not become selfish, 25:26 and you know, balance out your life, 25:28 you know, keep your health up, 25:30 you know, and eat correctly. 25:33 Because you have to have a balance health, 25:35 you know, to deal with each other, 25:38 to deal with your children. 25:39 And we don't have the best of family support 25:42 because of different situations, 25:43 different changes that have occurred through the years. 25:45 So we have to depend on each other totally 25:48 for basically everything. 25:50 We depend on God but God give us the energy 25:52 to depend on each other. 25:53 Each other. Right. 25:54 Right, fantastic. 25:56 Listen, we're gonna come right back 25:57 and we're gonna close this out. 25:58 But we're gonna come back in few seconds 26:00 and hear closing marks from Benita Dade. 26:03 Thank you. 26:15 Welcome back to "Making it Work." 26:17 We're talking to Carl and Benita Dade. 26:19 Benita, how to make it work? 26:22 Encourage our viewers today. 26:24 Cultivate a friendship with your spouse. 26:27 If perhaps you started off and you guys 26:29 were not true friends, 26:30 look at him, look at her 26:32 and begin to cultivate a true friendship, 26:35 a spiritual base friendship. 26:37 Yes. 26:38 Put his or her needs first 26:40 and the rest tremendously will follow. 26:43 My goodness. Well, I'm excited. 26:45 I've learned some things here to how to continue 26:47 to make it work. 26:48 Congratulation on 25 years. God bless you. 26:52 It's a blessing. Yes. 26:54 Well, we thank you, our viewers, 26:55 for being with us 26:57 and we look forward to another segment 26:58 of "Making it Work." 27:00 I'm Dr. Kim Logan Nowlin. 27:01 I'm Arthur Nowlin. 27:02 God bless. |
Revised 2015-04-27