Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
And I'm Arthur Nowlin.
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And welcome to "Making It Work."
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Our topic today
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"Death and
Dying, Loss Of A Child."
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Arthur, this is a
very sensitive topic
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and I want to share
some statistics with you
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that I was able to research.
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Okay.
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This is September 2, 2010,
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"Murders of
young black men rise.
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Two killed each week;
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Detroit struggles
to curb violence."
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And I want to also share
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"For black males in the
city between ages 15 and 24,
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the chances of getting murdered
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has rise
rapidly in recent years,
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increasing from 79 in
2005 to 102 last year.
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The number reached a
high of 115 in 2008."
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What are they
saying? Oh, it's amazing.
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It says there's
a lot of tragedy.
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Yes. With our youths.
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Yes.
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In most inner
cities because even though
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Detroit was mentioned,
we're talking about nationwide.
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Nationwide, nationwide
and I-- I did a workshop,
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and I had on the workshop
a picture of a graveyard,
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and I said, our,
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our young people
are not in church,
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the nightclubs,
the libraries, schools,
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not even in prison,
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they were in the
graveyard, the cemetery.
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Well, that
takes us to our guest.
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I want to
welcome, Ms. Cheryl Bryant.
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God bless you. Bless you.
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I don't--
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you know, I was so
touched by your story
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and I know our
viewers will be also.
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So we want you to take your time
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and tell us your story.
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Well, I was at work
when I found out late
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in the evening my son was
in an accident of shooting.
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Okay.
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I didn't know that at the time
but I was hysterical at work.
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Once I got a halfway together
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a relative of mine took
me to the site where he was
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and they whisked me away.
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They told me,
no-- no information.
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They were still
checking everything out.
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So at that point I
didn't know for sure it was him.
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So I went in to everything
is okay now and he was fine.
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There was an error
made and I went home.
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And when I got
home they said that,
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I needed to go to
the police station
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to talk with some people.
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And long story
short when I got back home
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the police and the
detectives came to my residence
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to let me know that
it was indeed my son.
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What was your son's name?
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His name is Brandon.
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And how old was Brandon?
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Brandon was 23.
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Twenty-three-years
old. Twenty-three-years old.
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And Brandon he was a good son.
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Yeah. Tell us about Brandon.
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He was a lot of fun,
he was friendly, silly,
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always called him
a social butterfly.
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Okay.
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When he was in school,
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I didn't have any big
problems just he was a talker.
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Okay.
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And he was really just
a fine friendly person.
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Was he into sports?
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Yes, he was into sports.
He was a basketball player.
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He grew to be the 6 foot 9.
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Six, nine. Six foot nine.
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He is really tall and he had
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the will for the
basketball player.
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You also informed me
that he had an opportunity
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to play professional
basketball overseas?
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Yeah, CDA.
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They had contacted
him to go to Lithuania,
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it what's there was
someplace that I have never
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even knew
anything about tough, yeah.
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Well, tell me about, it
was a accidental shooting,
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can you tell us what happened?
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That's told to me
by the detectives,
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what happened was my
son and a friend of his
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were waiting for
a ride and the ride
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that they were
waiting on was at the front
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of the development that
they were at and they were
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in the mid section of it.
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Okay.
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And while they
were waiting on a ride
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the ride was calling back
to them to find out exactly
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where to pick them up at.
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Okay.
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Meanwhile another car
that was identical to the car
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that they were
actually waiting for came up
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and they
approached it to get in,
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to get in for the ride.
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My son went to the
back driver side door
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and his friend I guess
they were like walking up
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from after the side and
the person as far as I know
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jumped out shooting and
thinking that is something.
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So he didn't really--
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he must have felt some
type of fear at that point,
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not-- not your son
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I'm talking about the
gentleman that was in the car.
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I'm assuming, yes. Okay.
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Were there other
passengers in this car?
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Yes, there were two
small children in the back,
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like an infant and
maybe a one or two year old.
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Okay.
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And another person in the front.
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My son went to the back
driver side door to get in.
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Okay. But I guess
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So he's reaching to get in
and the gentleman or father
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who is driving
this car thinks that
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someone is trying to carjack him
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or take his children.
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Right. So he gets out.
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Yes. And he gets out shooting.
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Right.
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And he kills
your son accidentally.
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So he was, he was
there at the scene?
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I think so.
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They wouldn't tell me
anything but what I saw was
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a sheet with someone under
and that was told to be my son.
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And when you first saw
you son under the sheet
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you didn't know at
that time that was him.
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No, I didn't I--
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I put myself in the mind
set of it couldn't be him.
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Okay.
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Because my son was really
tall and what I could see was--
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I guess the person
crumple up in my mind,
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and they couldn't have been him
because he wasn't tall enough.
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Now-- now so
you went to the site
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where he had fallen?
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Yes. So okay.
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But they never
let you see his face.
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No, they wouldn't
let me even go near the--
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they said it was crime
scene, it was being investigated
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and they sent me
back, they sent me away.
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So when they called you
at what point did you have
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to go down to
identify him at the morgue?
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The next morning.
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Okay.
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That must been something
extremely difficult for you.
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Very, very so real.
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And now you have a young
man who was not selling drugs,
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going to school, going to work,
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doing what he is supposed to do
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and he's a part
of the statistics.
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And has a tremendous
opportunity for future
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because he was being considered
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to play professional
basketball in another country.
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Still. Yes, and still.
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So take us through what happened
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when you went
down to the morgue.
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I went down to the
morgue, they had me sign in
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and they take you into a
room and there is a TV screen
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and the person who you
coming to identify shows up
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on the screen and it was my son
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and he looked
like he was sleeping.
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Death sleeping.
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What was your first reaction?
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What was going
through your mind?
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What happened?
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I barely remember
I fell to the floor.
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You fell to the floor. I
just I fell to the floor.
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And crying and I
kept looking though
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I kept looking at the
screen because I don't know,
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I guess I went into a
mode of it's a mistake.
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And maybe he'll move,
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and he'll be--
it'll be a mistake.
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So you were
waiting for him to move,
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you to confirm
that it was a mistake.
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So eventually the
people somebody must have
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brought you to the morgue.
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Right.
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Okay, so eventually
it-- the decision was made
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to take you back home.
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You know, how did you
feel when you got home?
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Numb, I was numb
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and confused just is that--
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I guess is some type
of defense mechanism.
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Angry?
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I wasn't really angry,
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it's like a-- is something
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I can't really be explained
as more confusion, denial.
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Denial, that my son is not gone.
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And then you told me
earlier that you have spoken
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to your son earlier that day,
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and tell me about
that conversation.
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I talked to him
because he and his girlfriend
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were going to work
and I have a grandbaby
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and they wanted to
thank me because I had done
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a few things for them.
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He wanted to thank me and
he called to say thank you
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and everything was fine
and I will talk to him later.
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Let me ask you
now, what about revenge?
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Did you have that feeling?
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For just a little
second when I didn't know
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100 percent what happened.
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Its-- it's your
baby and you want to get
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at whatever it was
that hurt your baby.
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Yes, yes.
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Now you found out later
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the actual
circumstances that was involved.
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How did you handle that
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and can you explain how
did that come about that
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you found out about
those actual circumstances?
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I went to-- after
going to the detectives
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I had to wait and I had to wait
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for like a couple of
few months it's all--
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its still a
blur, it's all a blur.
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Yes, yes, yes.
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But at the point
where I actually went down
00:11:03.08\00:11:05.31
to the Wayne
County prosecutor's office
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and they discussed
00:11:08.19\00:11:10.09
what they have found
during the investigation.
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That's when I found
out what really happened.
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And it's devastating,
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and as a part of you
don't want to believe,
00:11:23.83\00:11:27.87
no, they can't be right,
00:11:27.90\00:11:30.17
but then this another part
00:11:30.20\00:11:31.40
you have to rely
on the professionals,
00:11:31.43\00:11:34.89
the officials
because you not you--
00:11:34.92\00:11:36.90
you weren't there and I was
hurt, just-- and heartbroken.
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The man was
carrying a concealed--
00:11:44.36\00:11:46.20
what the
registered weapon, and--
00:11:46.23\00:11:48.69
He was licensed.
00:11:48.72\00:11:49.84
He was licensed,
protecting his family,
00:11:49.87\00:11:52.94
and it was an accident.
00:11:52.97\00:11:54.00
Right.
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Have you and this
gentleman spoken face to face?
00:11:55.09\00:11:58.18
No, there's
still the unknown part
00:11:58.21\00:12:01.37
that I wish I could address,
00:12:01.40\00:12:03.24
but I'm scared
to address it and--
00:12:03.27\00:12:07.57
Has anyone suggested that
to you like the police officer
00:12:07.60\00:12:12.33
or has she tried to contact
you or anything like that?
00:12:12.36\00:12:15.27
No. Okay.
00:12:15.30\00:12:16.55
Because it was an accident.
00:12:16.58\00:12:18.10
So is the case closed,
00:12:18.13\00:12:19.27
did they sent you a letter
saying the case is now closed?
00:12:19.30\00:12:22.13
Honestly I don't know.
00:12:22.16\00:12:23.89
I assume that it is
because I was able to--
00:12:23.92\00:12:27.38
you know, put him
in his resting place,
00:12:27.41\00:12:29.56
but I don't know for sure.
00:12:29.59\00:12:31.37
I'm-- I'm pretty sure it is
00:12:31.40\00:12:33.68
but I still have yet
to have a police report.
00:12:33.71\00:12:38.02
And I'm-- I'm
kind a scared to get it
00:12:38.05\00:12:40.38
because I don't know--
00:12:40.41\00:12:42.33
I know what they told me,
but I haven't actually read--
00:12:42.36\00:12:46.52
The police report. Right.
00:12:46.55\00:12:48.74
Now you also have another son.
00:12:48.77\00:12:51.72
Yes. Yes.
00:12:51.75\00:12:52.82
You know, so how
has that impacted
00:12:52.85\00:12:55.90
the relationship
that you have with him?
00:12:55.93\00:12:59.26
We're always close.
00:12:59.29\00:13:04.41
This made us closer.
00:13:04.44\00:13:07.66
This made me question
different things like,
00:13:07.69\00:13:10.59
I've always been a single mother
00:13:10.62\00:13:12.75
and as a single
parent you question that the,
00:13:12.78\00:13:15.75
the things that
you do with the kids,
00:13:15.78\00:13:18.36
and whether you made the right
decisions on down the line.
00:13:18.39\00:13:21.73
But he's okay, he's,
00:13:21.76\00:13:23.75
he's handling
things pretty well.
00:13:23.78\00:13:25.45
It's just moving along.
He misses his brother also.
00:13:28.58\00:13:31.35
He definitely misses him.
00:13:31.38\00:13:33.74
How are-- how has
your days and nights
00:13:33.77\00:13:36.55
I know you're back
to work, does that help?
00:13:36.58\00:13:39.93
Yeah, that helps a
lot and I didn't in--
00:13:39.96\00:13:43.45
you kind of know because
you try to surround yourself
00:13:43.48\00:13:45.66
with the people
who are most like you
00:13:45.69\00:13:49.42
and but I have a
extended family the people
00:13:49.45\00:13:55.33
I work with them.
00:13:55.36\00:13:56.83
Cheryl, you have a
church family also.
00:13:56.86\00:13:58.69
I have a church
family, definitely.
00:13:58.72\00:14:01.25
I mean, everybody really
rallied around me and my family
00:14:01.28\00:14:06.05
and had a most respect
and support for all of us.
00:14:06.08\00:14:11.87
Now your mother
shortly after Brandon's death
00:14:11.90\00:14:16.64
your mother passed
away, how many weeks later?
00:14:16.67\00:14:19.08
Two weeks and two days.
00:14:19.11\00:14:20.69
Two weeks and two
days you lost your mother.
00:14:20.72\00:14:23.87
And I remember you
sharing with me that your mother
00:14:23.90\00:14:26.17
has called and said come
get me she was in nursing home.
00:14:26.20\00:14:29.66
And she had
opportunity to see Brandon
00:14:29.69\00:14:32.28
before he passed.
00:14:32.31\00:14:34.42
So believing that God
was working things in motion,
00:14:34.45\00:14:38.57
now how have you
been able to deal with--
00:14:38.60\00:14:42.93
I know people go on,
00:14:42.96\00:14:44.45
you have to fight
your way through this,
00:14:44.48\00:14:46.25
but being able to
look at your life today
00:14:46.28\00:14:48.23
and say I've lost my
son and I've lost my mother.
00:14:48.26\00:14:52.23
What is going through your mind?
00:14:52.26\00:14:55.11
I have had so many
different thoughts,
00:14:55.14\00:14:58.21
I've had heart
filled, I have had--
00:14:58.24\00:15:03.17
it was a test on my faith,
00:15:03.20\00:15:06.04
but in my mind
I know I passed it
00:15:06.07\00:15:09.43
'cause I know God
is-- I know He is real.
00:15:09.46\00:15:12.14
There's no way in the
world that I could get through
00:15:12.17\00:15:14.24
something like this without Him.
00:15:14.27\00:15:16.93
It is just no way. I
had to be really strong.
00:15:16.96\00:15:20.68
The night I found out my
son got killed because my mother
00:15:20.71\00:15:24.86
her health was not
that good, her heart and,
00:15:24.89\00:15:29.00
and she actually pass from
a heart attack in her sleep.
00:15:29.03\00:15:33.60
And but at that point it's like
I had to hold myself together
00:15:33.63\00:15:38.84
because I didn't have anyone
at home with me at that point.
00:15:38.87\00:15:41.75
At that point. So
00:15:41.78\00:15:43.45
Let me ask you,
what is your family like
00:15:43.48\00:15:48.44
when you were growing up?
00:15:48.47\00:15:51.21
Very loving, very
God fearing, healthy,
00:15:51.24\00:15:58.38
we had fun, we had a lot of fun.
00:15:58.41\00:16:00.38
They were--
00:16:00.41\00:16:01.98
I came from a
family of nurturers,
00:16:02.01\00:16:04.34
true nurturers and aunts,
00:16:04.37\00:16:07.14
uncles, my mother's only child,
00:16:07.17\00:16:10.00
but all of my
family have a big family,
00:16:10.03\00:16:13.33
and caring, loving.
00:16:13.36\00:16:15.88
Caring.
00:16:15.91\00:16:16.95
Do you still receive that now?
00:16:16.98\00:16:19.79
More so now than ever.
00:16:19.82\00:16:21.25
Okay, has your
family been pressuring you
00:16:21.28\00:16:24.05
to find out what's
in their police report
00:16:24.08\00:16:26.59
or have they really kind of just
00:16:26.62\00:16:27.87
backed away from that aspect?
00:16:27.90\00:16:30.66
Here and there is
a little bit of both,
00:16:30.69\00:16:33.26
it's a little of both.
00:16:33.29\00:16:35.03
Let me-- let me
ask you-- you told me,
00:16:35.06\00:16:37.10
you shared with me,
00:16:37.13\00:16:38.33
how the day you
mother passed away,
00:16:38.36\00:16:40.76
she wanted to go to church.
00:16:40.79\00:16:42.53
Tell us about that.
00:16:42.56\00:16:44.02
We went to church and
she had a beautiful day
00:16:44.05\00:16:46.80
it was 80 degrees
out, it was really pretty,
00:16:46.83\00:16:51.53
and she said, I
want to go to church,
00:16:51.56\00:16:53.45
and so I got her
together, I helped her,
00:16:53.48\00:16:57.07
kept her bath, and dressed,
00:16:57.10\00:16:59.87
and we went, she
was in a wheelchair,
00:16:59.90\00:17:02.53
and at church she
wanted to stand up,
00:17:02.56\00:17:04.87
she wanted to get
up and she wanted to--
00:17:04.90\00:17:07.47
she wanted to praise,
00:17:07.50\00:17:09.06
she wanted-- she
just was a powerful,
00:17:09.09\00:17:13.22
just a power pack that day.
00:17:13.25\00:17:16.02
And that's what she did.
00:17:16.05\00:17:18.48
We went and she sang
and she had a good time.
00:17:18.51\00:17:21.56
She really enjoyed it.
00:17:21.59\00:17:23.11
So you both came home,
went to dinner and came home,
00:17:23.14\00:17:26.44
and she took a nap,
and she passed away?
00:17:26.47\00:17:29.91
That day. My, my, my.
00:17:29.94\00:17:31.82
That's powerful,
liking this, you know.
00:17:31.85\00:17:35.32
You know, Cheryl, I
look at you and you know,
00:17:35.35\00:17:37.24
you look like pillar strength
00:17:37.27\00:17:39.75
but are there still some
dark days and tearful nights?
00:17:39.78\00:17:44.75
I think, over time I
guess it'll get better.
00:17:44.78\00:17:48.66
I'm know it'll get
better, it will get better
00:17:48.69\00:17:50.45
but was something
like this losing someone
00:17:50.48\00:17:54.66
so close to you and you know,
00:17:54.69\00:17:58.12
my son and my mother
just I go back and forth,
00:17:58.15\00:18:00.66
my baby, my mom, I go
back and forth but like I say,
00:18:00.69\00:18:07.08
my faith is strong
and I know who to count on
00:18:07.11\00:18:12.32
and I know
that-- that He is real.
00:18:12.35\00:18:15.60
Every time I
have anyone of those
00:18:15.63\00:18:17.84
down times and they're frequent.
00:18:17.87\00:18:19.79
Yeah.
00:18:19.82\00:18:20.85
They're very frequent,
but that's what pulls me out
00:18:20.88\00:18:24.21
'cause I know I
don't walk along.
00:18:24.24\00:18:26.89
And I know I
have a lot of support.
00:18:26.92\00:18:29.40
Some of the tools we
recommend in our counseling
00:18:29.43\00:18:31.81
clinical of course is being
00:18:31.84\00:18:34.02
able to have someone to talk to,
00:18:34.05\00:18:36.01
being able to seek counseling,
00:18:36.04\00:18:38.63
being able to use tools
00:18:38.66\00:18:39.91
such as keeping yourself active,
00:18:39.94\00:18:42.20
being able to release the pain
00:18:42.23\00:18:45.01
because that's like a heavy load
00:18:45.04\00:18:46.28
to have to carry by yourself
00:18:46.31\00:18:48.62
and you need to
understand viewers,
00:18:48.65\00:18:50.10
you're not alone.
00:18:50.13\00:18:51.49
You know, when
you lose a loved one,
00:18:51.52\00:18:53.40
no one knows what
that feels or means to you
00:18:53.43\00:18:56.61
because you're going through it,
00:18:56.64\00:18:58.46
and we always see
I know how you feel,
00:18:58.49\00:19:00.01
I know what you're going through
00:19:00.04\00:19:02.23
unless you walked in my shoes,
00:19:02.26\00:19:04.36
but we're all experience death
00:19:04.39\00:19:07.17
and we are experiencing a
loss, you know, the grief.
00:19:07.20\00:19:11.74
I think another important
step that I didn't hear you say,
00:19:11.77\00:19:14.23
I think needs to be said,
00:19:14.26\00:19:16.37
is accepting
what transpired you,
00:19:16.40\00:19:21.36
you have to
accept a whole situation
00:19:21.39\00:19:24.68
and that's important
for us to move forward
00:19:24.71\00:19:28.55
and to overcome
some of the difficulties
00:19:28.58\00:19:30.30
that we do experience.
00:19:30.33\00:19:32.00
That's the hardest part.
00:19:32.03\00:19:33.08
Yeah, I know.
00:19:33.11\00:19:34.88
Because you don't know--
00:19:34.91\00:19:36.90
you don't know
when its gonna happen
00:19:36.93\00:19:38.21
and I use to tell
my son, I told Dr. Kim,
00:19:38.24\00:19:41.64
I used to tell him as he was
00:19:41.67\00:19:44.32
going up different things when--
00:19:44.35\00:19:45.73
when there was time
that death is a part of life,
00:19:45.76\00:19:50.56
and as soon as you
were born you will--
00:19:50.59\00:19:53.58
death-- death will come.
00:19:53.61\00:19:55.60
It's just I didn't
set myself up at all to--
00:19:55.63\00:19:59.50
to know or to acknowledge
even when this surround you
00:19:59.53\00:20:03.41
and you see it
happening to other people--
00:20:03.44\00:20:08.23
people younger
than my son and the--
00:20:08.26\00:20:11.13
and the people who've
lost their babies and--
00:20:11.16\00:20:13.42
and all that, I still never,
00:20:13.45\00:20:16.11
never not one
time prepare myself--
00:20:16.14\00:20:19.63
you can't prepare
yourself for some.
00:20:19.66\00:20:20.73
No. You cannot.
00:20:20.76\00:20:21.80
It's not preparation,
that thing accepting is--
00:20:21.83\00:20:25.75
is something that you have
to really search down deep to do
00:20:25.78\00:20:29.89
because that's one of
the first steps in trying
00:20:29.92\00:20:33.14
to deal with the grief process.
00:20:33.17\00:20:37.17
Another thing I know you
indicated that right now,
00:20:37.20\00:20:42.16
your-- your
relationship with your son,
00:20:42.19\00:20:44.58
your-- your next son,
00:20:44.61\00:20:45.66
is he the
oldest or the youngest?
00:20:45.69\00:20:46.72
He is the oldest.
00:20:46.75\00:20:47.78
The oldest son is good
and protective I would assume.
00:20:47.81\00:20:52.28
What about the grandson
that your son left behind
00:20:52.31\00:20:55.67
how's that relationship?
00:20:55.70\00:20:57.60
Very good, that's
my little pumpkin.
00:20:57.63\00:21:00.77
He-- he's a busy
body and he's just--
00:21:00.80\00:21:05.11
just another Brandon,
his name is Brandon Jr.
00:21:05.14\00:21:09.96
But he's just like him,
he's got mannerisms like him,
00:21:09.99\00:21:13.77
things that you can't
pick up, he just turned two.
00:21:13.80\00:21:17.38
He just turned two.
00:21:17.41\00:21:18.66
So there is certain
things that that he can do
00:21:18.69\00:21:21.03
or he'll do that are
just like his dad and his--
00:21:21.06\00:21:25.24
he's just something to see.
00:21:25.27\00:21:26.76
You've saved clothes
and other items for him
00:21:26.79\00:21:29.10
as he gets
older for you to share
00:21:29.13\00:21:31.19
with him about his
father, that's really beautiful.
00:21:31.22\00:21:34.07
Cloths and pictures I try
to make sure that get like
00:21:34.10\00:21:37.61
a few people who have
pictures just to make sure
00:21:37.64\00:21:40.33
he can see that that his dad
00:21:40.36\00:21:42.14
really loved him
and so he can see.
00:21:42.17\00:21:44.62
One another
things I'd like to ask,
00:21:44.65\00:21:46.99
what are you
doing for yourself now?
00:21:47.02\00:21:48.77
Okay, you're involved
with this process and you know,
00:21:48.80\00:21:52.29
now you'd lost
your son over the summer
00:21:52.32\00:21:54.97
when was it, it
was early something.
00:21:55.00\00:21:56.65
Early it was March, so--
00:21:56.68\00:21:58.60
Okay, so it was like in spring.
00:21:58.63\00:22:00.85
And it's not
something easy to overcome,
00:22:00.88\00:22:05.62
but what is
important is you have to
00:22:05.65\00:22:08.45
find a way to bounce back.
00:22:08.48\00:22:11.36
What are you doing for you?
00:22:11.39\00:22:13.40
A lot of different things.
00:22:13.43\00:22:14.73
I have quite work helps,
00:22:14.76\00:22:19.90
I love to shop.
00:22:19.93\00:22:22.98
Okay, we could have
to cut that part out.
00:22:23.01\00:22:27.94
I'm trying to be around my
family and my friends a lot.
00:22:27.97\00:22:31.12
I talk to them often.
00:22:31.15\00:22:34.29
Just I'm trying to
tap back into the things
00:22:34.32\00:22:35.89
that I used to enjoy doing.
00:22:35.92\00:22:37.79
Good.
00:22:37.82\00:22:39.33
This shopping is good, I mean,
00:22:39.36\00:22:40.73
specially being in the mall so--
00:22:40.76\00:22:42.40
Social. Yeah.
00:22:42.43\00:22:44.43
It would be
relaxing. It is relaxing.
00:22:44.46\00:22:46.59
I think it is very
relaxing, very relaxing.
00:22:46.62\00:22:50.31
Sometimes too relaxing for you?
00:22:50.34\00:22:52.04
No. But very relaxing, you know.
00:22:52.07\00:22:55.85
Let me ask you as
holidays our people tell me
00:22:55.88\00:22:59.40
holidays are the
most difficult time.
00:22:59.43\00:23:01.94
Tell me why?
00:23:01.97\00:23:04.24
Because you miss them,
00:23:04.27\00:23:05.95
you miss what they
bring to your life,
00:23:05.98\00:23:10.67
you just miss I'm--
00:23:10.70\00:23:11.82
I'm looking
forward to the holidays
00:23:11.85\00:23:14.01
but I see myself like
kind of, I feel kind of--
00:23:14.04\00:23:19.44
I don't know like
not shaky but I just,
00:23:23.11\00:23:27.11
it's a hard way to put it but--
00:23:27.14\00:23:29.81
You are going to participate
with the family members,
00:23:29.84\00:23:31.74
you will go and be a part?
00:23:31.77\00:23:33.82
I feel anxious.
Okay, that's the word.
00:23:33.85\00:23:36.12
Do they all come
together and like-- okay,
00:23:36.15\00:23:39.06
so you'd like you had
to cook a special plate.
00:23:39.09\00:23:42.22
What's your special plate?
00:23:42.25\00:23:44.80
I have a few back.
00:23:44.83\00:23:46.34
Like you see
because I have nice dishes.
00:23:46.37\00:23:48.66
I'm not a cook here. Yeah, okay.
00:23:48.69\00:23:50.26
I love dressing. Okay.
00:23:50.29\00:23:52.90
My aunt and my cousin,
they-- they're the cooks,
00:23:52.93\00:23:55.30
they taught me how to cook, so--
00:23:55.33\00:23:56.86
Okay. And they do good.
00:23:56.89\00:23:57.92
I know how to fix
all of his holiday.
00:23:57.95\00:24:01.35
So this gonna be a
wonderful gathering.
00:24:01.38\00:24:04.10
This will be the first
holiday without your son?
00:24:04.13\00:24:07.35
Right.
00:24:07.38\00:24:08.44
Yes, so it's gonna
be a little different.
00:24:08.47\00:24:09.50
And your mother.
And your mom, okay.
00:24:09.53\00:24:13.58
You have come up
with this great idea,
00:24:13.61\00:24:16.52
tell our
viewers about this idea,
00:24:16.55\00:24:17.87
just a little
bit because we still
00:24:17.90\00:24:19.31
got to work on
this pet, you know.
00:24:19.34\00:24:21.97
Yeah, I have-- it's a
product that would help
00:24:22.00\00:24:29.68
when you're out in public or,
00:24:29.71\00:24:32.38
or just if you're at the
beach or wherever you are
00:24:32.41\00:24:36.65
something that will
help you keep things clean
00:24:36.68\00:24:39.89
as when you use
in public restaurants
00:24:39.92\00:24:42.41
and that type of things.
00:24:42.44\00:24:44.12
Sometimes you may not
have all the necessities there.
00:24:44.15\00:24:47.83
And I have a little
package that would be
00:24:47.86\00:24:51.10
ideal for women and
men to-- to you know,
00:24:51.13\00:24:55.28
be-- be keep it
clean and keep everything--
00:24:55.31\00:24:58.79
To take to those
strange bathrooms
00:24:58.82\00:25:00.47
you get your own stuff.
00:25:00.50\00:25:02.34
Oh, that's nice.
00:25:02.37\00:25:03.42
Well, I'm going
to be looking forward
00:25:03.45\00:25:04.55
you coming back to show us
the finished products of this
00:25:04.58\00:25:07.75
because I think it's
gonna be a part of your healing.
00:25:07.78\00:25:11.13
You know, the
healing is so important
00:25:11.16\00:25:14.27
and also being able--
well, the people at work,
00:25:14.30\00:25:17.61
were they supportive to you?
00:25:17.64\00:25:18.82
They are.
00:25:18.85\00:25:19.90
They-- they were, they
came out to the services
00:25:19.93\00:25:22.11
and so she is been back to work.
00:25:22.14\00:25:24.26
Caring still.
00:25:24.29\00:25:25.77
You also say,
you write, you know,
00:25:25.80\00:25:28.91
that like a journal or
a poems or short stories.
00:25:28.94\00:25:32.73
Right now, I'm on a book.
00:25:32.76\00:25:34.40
I'm-- I have so many
different experiences,
00:25:34.43\00:25:39.22
this one is a big one
and just a lot of other
00:25:39.25\00:25:42.63
like different
experiences that I've had.
00:25:42.66\00:25:45.60
And here and
there that's what I do,
00:25:45.63\00:25:47.25
I write, I write poetry,
00:25:47.28\00:25:49.24
that's something
else that keeps me.
00:25:49.27\00:25:51.05
I've always done it but
it is really something more--
00:25:51.08\00:25:54.82
more on a serious level.
00:25:54.85\00:25:56.53
Because it is
something I have to say.
00:25:56.56\00:25:59.19
Well, you have to
write a poem for our show,
00:25:59.22\00:26:01.65
you know, so we can read it
00:26:01.68\00:26:03.52
and have you
come back and read it.
00:26:03.55\00:26:05.42
It's one of the things about
our program is that we have--
00:26:05.45\00:26:08.69
it's about healing and helping
00:26:08.72\00:26:11.05
and so that's
what it's all about.
00:26:11.08\00:26:14.33
We will be right back to share
00:26:14.36\00:26:16.66
little more
information on "Making It Work."
00:26:16.69\00:26:18.94
Cheryl, I want to
ask you a question,
00:26:29.40\00:26:32.22
your grandson's mother
00:26:32.25\00:26:35.00
the last thing
she did with your son
00:26:35.03\00:26:37.99
they had argument
and how is she doing?
00:26:38.02\00:26:41.05
How she coping?
00:26:41.08\00:26:42.81
She's coping pretty
well all things considered.
00:26:42.84\00:26:46.83
She had a hard time with that,
but I did let her know that,
00:26:46.86\00:26:50.20
that's not the only thing,
00:26:50.23\00:26:52.10
you all didn't
expect it to happen
00:26:52.13\00:26:54.62
and you loved each other,
00:26:54.65\00:26:57.10
you had a beautiful son and
it will be just fine in time.
00:26:57.13\00:27:02.39
So you've been doing
grief counseling with her?
00:27:02.42\00:27:05.10
Yeah, little
bit. Yeah, little bit.
00:27:05.13\00:27:06.40
What I get is take your time.
00:27:06.43\00:27:08.41
Oh, listen that's great.
00:27:08.44\00:27:10.89
Cheryl, I want to
thank you for being
00:27:10.92\00:27:12.59
a part of "Making It Work,"
00:27:12.62\00:27:14.14
and we're gonna
be praying for you
00:27:14.17\00:27:16.65
and we're looking
forward you to coming back.
00:27:16.68\00:27:18.44
Yeah, it's definitely.
Thank you for having me.
00:27:18.47\00:27:20.56
In all the things
that you have gone through,
00:27:20.59\00:27:23.26
if you had to say
something to a mother,
00:27:23.29\00:27:25.66
a parent going
through this right now,
00:27:25.69\00:27:27.07
what would you say?
00:27:27.10\00:27:28.86
The first thing I
will say is you're--
00:27:28.89\00:27:31.57
you're definitely not alone,
00:27:31.60\00:27:35.68
God is always-- He is--
00:27:35.71\00:27:38.16
He is always present,
00:27:38.19\00:27:40.85
take it all to Him and
He will take care of you.
00:27:40.88\00:27:44.72
You know, right.
00:27:44.75\00:27:45.83
That's the
truth. That's powerful.
00:27:45.86\00:27:47.09
And that is the true.
00:27:47.12\00:27:48.79
Well, we want to
thank our viewers
00:27:48.82\00:27:50.49
and we look forward to
seeing you again Ms. Bryant.
00:27:50.52\00:27:53.45
You're
beautiful. You look great.
00:27:53.48\00:27:55.63
Thank God for the years you
had with Brandon and your mom.
00:27:55.66\00:27:57.87
Yes.
00:27:57.90\00:27:58.97
And I know there
are beautiful people.
00:27:59.00\00:28:00.89
To all of you hope
is around the corner.
00:28:00.92\00:28:04.30
Hope is always available
through prayer and your faith.
00:28:04.33\00:28:08.61
I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
00:28:08.64\00:28:10.15
I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:28:10.18\00:28:11.36
Let's keep "Making It Work."
00:28:11.39\00:28:12.89