Participants: Arthur Nowlin (Host), Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin (Host), Pr. Phillip Willis Jr., Vivian Willis
Series Code: MIW
Program Code: MIW000004
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00:01 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
00:03 I'm Arthur Nowlin. 00:04 And welcome to "Making It Work." 00:39 Our topic today "Multicultural Marriages." 00:42 Arthur, let me ask you do you think 00:45 that African-American men, European-American men 00:48 or men in general are crossing overto other cultures 00:53 because of what reason? 00:54 Well, I don't think it's just men, I think its people. 00:58 Its people. 00:59 People have a opportunity to venture out 01:01 and to find out about different people and different countries 01:05 because of the technology that's available. 01:07 The internet, smartphones 01:10 so I just think that it's a chance 01:12 so they can go and have a relationship-- 01:16 Let me ask you-- 01:17 Develop good communication skills. 01:18 Okay, good communication. 01:20 Do you think if you had to seen my picture 01:22 which would have been beautiful on the internet 01:25 and you were doing internet dating 01:27 would you have selected me? 01:29 It's no doubt I would have select you. 01:31 It is the thing about it is, 01:33 when I had opportunity to talk to you 01:35 would have still keep you. 01:37 All right, well, good we didn't meet through the internet 01:40 but he has kept me as a blessing. 01:43 Truly a blessing. 01:44 Pastor, I want to welcome you 01:46 and your beautiful wife Vivian to "Making It Work." 01:48 Thank you so much. 01:49 Thank you. 01:50 Listen, I want to go back 01:52 a ittle bit with you, Pastor Willis. 01:55 Sometime ago you went through a difficult time. 01:57 Can you share that with our viewers? 01:59 Yes, I was married for about a year 02:01 and that didn't quite workout the way I planed. 02:04 You know, we ended up getting divorced. 02:07 You know, pastors in my lifetime, 02:09 you know, my view of what my life was gonna be about 02:12 I didn't imagined that I would ever have to go 02:14 through a difficult experience like that. 02:16 I see. 02:17 So this was unbeknownst to you 02:19 that she was contemplating divorcing you. 02:21 Well, I knew that things were gonna start turning 02:25 the corner when I-- she came home one day 02:27 and car smell like cigarette smoke. 02:29 Oh, okay. 02:30 And as that was the beginning of the discovery 02:32 that life was very different in our house for her 02:36 than it was for me. 02:37 I see, I see. 02:38 Were you of the same persuasion in denomination? 02:41 Absolutely, we belong to the same faith group, 02:43 I met her in the church and, 02:45 so I believed I had a good situation. 02:48 I see, so you had to make a decision? 02:51 I did and really the decision came to me to make, 02:54 you know, wasn't that I independently 02:56 wanted to make that decision, 02:57 it was kind of brought to me that way 02:59 and things happened outside the bonds of marriage that, 03:02 you know, it didn't leave me with a lot of choices. 03:04 I see. 03:05 Let me ask being a pastor 03:07 it was probably a difficult situation for you. 03:10 How did you handle it? 03:11 It was devastating, 03:12 because everybody is looking up at you, 03:16 you living a public life, 03:17 so I felt the impression that people were making 03:19 a lot of assumptions that were not true. 03:22 And so it was difficult to us to have that face 03:24 and keep that smiling face while I'm preaching sermon. 03:27 And in fact people didn't know 03:29 what was going on in my private life 03:31 and I'm still pastoring and ministering 03:33 and I find myself crying at the end of sermons 03:35 and things like that, it was very difficult time. 03:38 We saw you many times and just we were able to extend 03:41 a hug to you like, you know, we're praying for you. 03:44 But oh, what a blessing. 03:45 What a blessing! What a blessing! 03:48 The Lord has for you. 03:49 Yes. 03:51 And the things have been moving 03:53 very, very quickly in your life. 03:55 Well, tell us, Vivian, how did you meet Pastor Willis? 04:00 We met online. 04:01 You met online? 04:02 Oh, yes. 04:03 All right, and then what happened just tell us. 04:05 I just want to know, you know, I want to know everything. 04:08 Well, I was in this site for trying to find someone 04:14 because sometimes your circle gets reduced 04:17 you know to charge your space 04:21 and then I live in South Chile 04:24 and I don't get to go out that much. 04:26 And there are not "datable men" in my church. 04:30 It's a college so most of them are young 04:33 and I got to certain age in my 30s 04:36 so I decided to give a try. 04:38 Give a try. Yes. 04:39 Were you born and raised in Chile? 04:41 No, I was born in Wattamolla really. 04:44 Okay. Yes. 04:45 My parents were missionaries so they move 04:47 every year to different countries, places-- 04:50 So you bring a lot of wealth and knowledge 04:53 and experience to this relationship. 04:54 Amen. She is well traveled back. 04:55 Yes, she is. Yes, I'm. 04:57 Yes, we have to keep her in that lifestyle, okay. 04:59 We often compete about you know whose traveled the most 05:02 and I think she has been beaten. 05:03 Oh, wow. 05:04 So, pastor, what happened when you saw her picture? 05:06 What happened? 05:07 I-- her picture was breathtaking. 05:09 It's really what captured me 05:11 and I ended up writing her three times 05:13 after she already said 05:14 hey, you know I'm not really interested. 05:15 I'm looking in different direction 05:17 and I kept writing her and I made her laugh 05:19 so she-- she couldn't resist. 05:20 Yeah, that's right. 05:22 What direction was she looking into? 05:23 I'm not sure but-- What direction? 05:24 But it wasn't my direction. 05:26 The thing is that when he wrote me 05:29 and I saw this guy that wrote me 05:31 it didn't have a picture profile. 05:33 So I thought he was not serious you know 05:36 he's just those that who write to any woman. 05:39 So I was like no, may God bless you. 05:43 And he wrote me the second time 05:45 some weeks later and again I reject-- 05:48 no I didn't write the second time. 05:49 You didn't write. 05:50 And the third time he write I say wow, 05:52 this guy must have some confidence in himself. 05:56 What was in those emails and those messages? 05:58 Oh, magic, magic magic. Magic. 06:00 I know how to write. You got to lead at the line. 06:02 Leo thinks it alone. 06:03 But did you ever upload a picture? 06:06 You know what I ended up sending her 06:07 an independent video, independent photos. 06:10 And the reason was because 06:11 they were members of my church on that same website. 06:14 And so I think it might have made it 06:16 a little uncomfortable-- 06:18 So I didn't want to put my self out like that. 06:20 Now, Vivian, tell me what you said to me 06:23 before prior to the program, if he was serious about you 06:26 what did you tell me him to do? 06:27 I told him come see me. 06:30 Are you serious? 06:31 I am serious. 06:33 Now trying to come across the you know like-- 06:36 Wait a minute, that's the same thing 06:38 that's been said in all cultures you know-- 06:40 Come see me. 06:41 Come see me. Come check me out. 06:43 Well, we had this talking going a couple of miles see, 06:44 we're talking-- 06:46 how long the flight was, pastor? 06:47 I think it's a six to eight hour flight. 06:49 Oh, my goodness. 06:50 It's not too bad because going to Iraq was like 16 hours. 06:54 That was easy. That was easy. 06:56 All right, so were you nervous? Were you nervous? 06:58 Okay, so how was this all arranged 07:00 that you were going to meet in that particular time? 07:04 Well, I ask him to come and see me on my birthday. 07:07 Oh, you hear that? Oh, on her birthday. 07:10 Secrets. 07:12 Now, let me-- 07:13 you know that's what we have to do, 07:14 and now let's be specific what we want. 07:16 Specific. Okay and then what happened? 07:19 And then he flew, over there I pick him at the airport 07:23 and I took him to my little village, 07:26 and he stayed over there. 07:28 He brought the whole bunch of presents for me, I was wow-- 07:33 What kind of presents? What kind of presents? 07:34 Calvin Klein perfumes. 07:36 Oh, nice. Oh, my goodness. 07:39 I love that. 07:41 And, pastor, what made you eagerly go? 07:44 I mean, what sent you on that fire? 07:46 As we were talking in our communication online 07:49 I realized that 07:50 I wasn't the only one communicating with her. 07:52 So you know it was a great race to get to the finish line, 07:56 but there was not a hurry. 07:57 Because there was a lot to discover 07:59 but I wanted to se her, I wanted to-- 08:00 What was the timeframe? What was the timeframe 08:02 from being on in-- online and you going? 08:05 I think we talked maybe five months. 08:08 Okay. Okay. 08:10 So we're talking about some time 08:13 that's involved from the time 08:15 that you were purging up unto this point. 08:19 Right, from the past relationships, you know, 08:21 I held to a quote "Tough times don't last, tough people do." 08:25 So I gave myself a space of time to heal and detox 08:28 and to build up my spirit with the Lord 08:31 and I had encouragement from my parents 08:33 and I made it through by God's grace. 08:35 And there was trust again? 08:36 That's right. That's right. 08:37 Oh, it's difficult what you went through. 08:38 Excellent. But the Lord freed me. 08:39 He freed you. He freed me, deliver me 08:41 and I was ready to move on to joy 08:43 and the joy that Lord had. 08:44 So you were looking-- you wanted to be married-- 08:46 And have a family. Absolutely. 08:47 And the joy was there. 08:49 That's right. 08:51 So was it love at first sight? 08:54 Well, for me it was. 08:55 All right. 08:56 For her I don't think so, but for me it was. 08:59 I think she fell in love with my words. 09:02 Yes, yes. Oh, your words. 09:03 Yes, he brought a lot of joy speaking about joy to my life. 09:07 It was winter time in Chile 09:08 and every time I read his messages I would laugh 09:11 and echo of my laugh would sound all over my house 09:15 you know and I would sleep by self 09:17 in a farm so I was cold-- 09:19 And it was so-- so nice, 09:22 so joyful to a-- I was looking forward to read 09:26 that message from him everyday. 09:28 You know, we as women we need letters 09:31 I need the word. 09:32 Send me a letter-- Is that all you need? 09:34 A card, you know, just like a echo through my house. 09:38 Echo through my house. So-- 09:39 So, Kim, when you echo-- 09:41 What? I mean its like-- 09:42 No, we never gonna go there. 09:45 You know, Pastor, there are three calls 09:47 you know we talked about this before. 09:49 There are three, you know, I say Arthur. 09:50 Yes. Arthur. 09:51 Yes. 09:52 Arthur! Yes, correct. 09:53 Now he don't say anything, you know, 09:54 we have three calls, okay. 09:56 No, it's been only one call in our house. 09:59 So-- so you recognizing they say, 10:02 you know, the first sight, 10:04 first love does it really exists 10:06 you know is that really true, pastor, you think? 10:08 Well, when I saw her page 10:11 I knew that there was somebody I needed to get in touch with-- 10:14 There was some communication through her photo 10:16 and how I felt. 10:18 My response was immediate. Right. 10:20 Excellent. Excellent. 10:22 So where do you go from here? 10:24 Well you know I need a sense that from our communication 10:27 she was spiritual and I think that spiritual component 10:30 was very important for me, 10:31 especially from my past experience 10:34 and as a pastor you need somebody 10:36 who can gel with you spiritually. 10:38 Yes. 10:39 And she definitely revealed that to me 10:41 through our communication, that was important. 10:43 This and also being the daughter of missionaries-- 10:47 Right. 10:48 You know, she was already equipped to handle 10:51 the life of a pastor's life. 10:52 Right, I found that she-- she could take the riggers, 10:56 spiritual riggers that were out there 10:57 and the challenges and she had her own ministry going. 11:00 So she was a Sabbath school teacher 11:02 and was very involved in church. 11:04 And, pastor, do you speak Spanish? 11:06 ( speaking in foreign language ) 11:09 So I know you're learning. 11:10 Pastor, does that mean a little or what does it mean? 11:13 It's like sanctification. It's a work of a lifetime. 11:18 That's good. So, Vivi, tell us your interests. 11:21 You know, what are your hopes and aspirations for yourself? 11:25 You know what do you enjoy doing? 11:27 I right now enjoy being a mom. 11:29 Yeah. Excellent. 11:30 And a wife, yes. 11:31 You have beautiful Amanda. How old is Amanda? 11:33 She's five months old. 11:35 Five months. Oh, that's beautiful. 11:37 Are you looking forward for other children? 11:38 Yes, we are. 11:40 Excellent. Excellent. 11:41 Blessing. They are blessing. 11:43 Just one. Just one. 11:45 One more has to snug that in one more, uno. 11:49 What you really like about, you know, your husband? 11:51 Tell us what you really find unique about him. 11:55 I think that-- 11:57 he has a talent from God speaking. 12:00 The Word, delivering the Word. 12:02 Delivering the Word. Yes, I love that. 12:05 I fell in love of that 12:08 and I think that's one of his strength 12:10 that I really admire. 12:12 Well, I agree with that with her doing 50 percent. 12:15 It is appreciated. 12:16 All right, very talented. 12:18 Pastor, what's something unique about Vivian 12:20 that you have grown to recognize in her? 12:22 I think you could probably sense 12:24 or hear but it's just her spirit you know -- 12:26 Yeah. She has this congenial spirit. 12:28 And it just transmits and it just calms me you know-- 12:32 Now you said a key word. You did-- 12:35 Don't say it. 12:36 It calms now. I'm not saying it. 12:37 In fact, he started. It calms you, right. 12:39 Correct. You know, especially I mean 12:41 when you deal with the riggers of what goes on as a pastor 12:47 and in our social society today. 12:50 You need that congenial spirit when you come home. 12:52 We do. 12:53 And Ellen G. White speaks about that consistently 12:55 Ellen G. White the famous author. 12:58 That we've used in within, 12:59 the Seventh-day Adventist Church 13:01 however the Bible says that a soft answer turns away wrath. 13:05 That's right. 13:06 And it's really, really important and you know what-- 13:08 What does it-- 13:10 It says, don't start. 13:11 I'm not starting. Can you say it to me? 13:13 A soft answer turns away wrath. But it's a working wrath. 13:18 See you're talking years of marriage 13:20 and newly weds but it shouldn't matter. 13:22 We should work on our communication all the time. 13:24 That's right.I'm willing to work on mine's, Kim. 13:27 Oh, thank you, dear. 13:29 All right, you know let's talk about 13:31 some of the trappings of internet dating, 13:33 some of the concerns. 13:35 Well, you know that you don't know what to expect, 13:37 you don't know what you gonna get 13:38 and she took a risk by inviting me there 13:41 but certainly there was a risk for me to travel over there. 13:43 She could have looked at me one time and said hey, 13:46 I don't want to be you know involve with you at all 13:48 so I would have been stuck in that country, 13:50 you know, but I would say that there's a great risk 13:53 for the ladies out there as well just to be cautious 13:55 and know what you get 13:56 because people don't always present what they really are. 13:59 Yes, so you had to be very careful. 14:01 Very careful. So how long-- 14:03 how many times did you go back to Chile? 14:05 Did Vivian come to-- did she come to United States? 14:07 I did. Okay. 14:08 I did. Excellent. 14:09 I came at least four times before we get married. 14:12 Four times? Yes. 14:14 That is amazing. 14:16 So she had an opportunity to meet my family 14:18 and I went over there several times as well. 14:21 How did the family respond to her? 14:24 Oh, I think they responded very positively. 14:25 You know they also sensed her spirit as well. 14:27 All right. 14:28 They're open, you know, to my travels 14:31 and my experiences and they met Vivian 14:33 and fell in love with her so. 14:34 Well, who wouldn't, pastor? 14:36 Unless knowing you, you know. 14:38 Let me ask you this, you know, how has you know 14:42 like Arthur said in the beginning 14:43 multicultural marriages 14:45 because you first wife was multicultural 14:46 she is on Dominican Republic. 14:47 That's right. 14:48 So what do you think that, 14:50 you know, some of the challenges-- 14:51 are we facing any different challenges 14:53 because Arthur and I are both African-American. 14:55 What are the challenges are there any Pastor, 14:57 that you see in the church? 14:58 I think they are the challenges are probably the same. 15:01 You still to have communication issues. 15:02 You still have wherever geographical issues 15:07 but I think the geographical issues can be greater 15:10 because of the distance. 15:11 But you have language challenges as well. 15:14 -But I think we do pretty well. Okay. 15:16 And your goal is to learn and be fluent in Spanish? 15:18 That's right. 15:19 And you know I have a patience spirit 15:20 you know so 15:22 if there's some times there may be a language barrier 15:24 because of it how we define words-- 15:26 Right. You know how we define words- 15:28 Interpretation of those words. 15:29 An interpretation of those words 15:30 and how we see our reality. 15:31 Right. 15:33 You know we just have to be patience and we work together. 15:35 I saw that, we were blessed to have Vivian to enter 15:38 before a family life retreat for us. 15:40 And I made a statement 15:42 and I wasn't sure it was your mother-in-law 15:44 or father-in-law gave another turn 15:47 and she understood it and she went keep going, 15:50 keep going and I want to say publicly you really blessed us, 15:54 we gave you shout out too, yes we did. 15:56 You know your sister-in-law said 15:59 let's not forget Vivian, you know, Heather said that. 16:02 I said oh, we all shouted. Yeah. 16:04 But we realize your gifts and your talents and we hope 16:07 that you would be with us next year at the retreat. 16:09 Yeah, will be my pleasure. We're looking forward to it. 16:11 You brought up something I think is extremely important 16:13 when you were talking about basically it's the same 16:19 as far as communication with male or female 16:23 whether it's a different culture or not. 16:26 You know, you still dealing with a lot of feelings 16:29 and you grow to recognize those differences. 16:32 Right. 16:33 So that was something that you-- 16:35 did it take you a certain amount of time 16:38 was it long time involved, was it less time? 16:41 Well, I think you know a person needs to be mature 16:44 to get in a situation like that, to understand 16:46 that there are differences. 16:47 Its not fantasy island, you know, 16:49 people might assume you know 16:51 oh, from somebody different place you know it's great, 16:55 the reality is that everybody has challenges 16:57 it's just how you manage them 16:59 and how you approach those things 17:00 that makes all the difference you know. 17:01 Right. 17:02 You know we have the Spirit of God with us 17:03 and we have the spirit of-- we want to stay together 17:06 and work through things and the Lord has blessed us-- 17:08 And-- So-- 17:09 Please, they want to stay together. 17:11 I agree--- Okay. 17:12 So okay, let's go back to the first sighting, 17:16 you know. 17:17 It must have been when you first saw the pastor 17:20 you said oh-- so how did you respond to that? 17:24 You saw-- Did you embrace? 17:25 Did you all embrace when you first saw each other? 17:26 One minute that's not the question. 17:27 That's not the question? No, no. 17:29 What was the question? 17:30 I'm asking is, was he a shock to you 17:33 that he was African-American? 17:35 But no, she has-- you know didn't pastor, 17:37 you send a video she saw-- 17:38 I sent videos. Oh, okay. 17:39 Yes, I know, I had known. 17:40 He is African-American. 17:42 So it's nice dealing with his culture 17:44 the way he was talking how he interacted with you 17:47 was that something different or what? 17:51 No, it was very nice to talk right with him. 17:56 There were a couple of things that I do think were cultural 17:58 and they were shocking to me. 18:01 Now we talk on those things 18:03 because I didn't understand what he was talking about. 18:06 So we had to talk through in. 18:08 Can you give me example of one thing 18:10 what was shocking or cultural difference? 18:16 Well-- 18:18 That might be too personal. 18:19 It's little personal? Yes. 18:21 Okay. 18:22 Well, you know, we didn't like he said the language barrier, 18:26 the food barrier-- 18:27 are you both vegetarians or do you-- 18:29 Yes. 18:30 You're a vegetarian? Yes. 18:31 But there is a different. 18:32 He said that the same challenges for every couple. 18:37 I do think they are the same regarding to him as a person, 18:41 I would say the same 18:42 but as a woman I do feel the difference. 18:46 You know, I go to a different church as worshipping style. 18:51 Wow, your worship style is different. 18:52 Yes, it's different. 18:54 So I did encounter a different environment, 18:57 but as far as it's him 18:59 I do think it would be the same challenge with the Latin guy. 19:03 With a Latin guy. We got to remember. 19:05 He's a Latin guy. Latin guy. 19:07 Is he? Vivian, I love you. 19:10 You're so, you know, you know what, 19:12 when I first you she was with a baby quite, 19:15 shy but she didn't know us. 19:16 But she's gotten to know me, I don't know about you. 19:18 But you know get to know us but you-- 19:20 Because you are not shy and quite. 19:22 I'm not shy so we can-- 19:23 You're pretty boisterous. 19:24 Am I? Yeah. 19:25 Well, you know, Ms. Vivian, first lady you know 19:28 and we refer to first lady who is pastor's wives 19:31 as the first lady of the church. 19:33 But I recognize that you are strong 19:35 and you are vivacious 19:36 and you're not only beautiful but you are-- 19:38 A quiet strength. 19:40 She a quiet strength? 19:41 Quiet strength. You just say it a quiet strength. 19:42 You a quiet strength? That's another difference. 19:44 I don't feel like first lady, 19:46 because that's one different that this cultural I guess 19:50 because I'm all behind scenes you know 19:53 I like to serve very much but I don't feel like leaving-- 19:57 You don't want anyone to put you in the pedestal? 19:58 No, no, no, not at all. I really like be behind. 20:02 Behind the scenes. Yes. 20:04 Do you think that, that may be different 20:06 with African-American women? 20:08 They like being-- Such as yourself? 20:10 We like, we do. 20:11 That is a cultural difference we do. 20:14 You like to be upfront? 20:15 Well, I'm narcissistic. Okay. 20:17 Narcissistic, the behavior represents 20:18 or the terminology person who is out front 20:22 and is not afraid of be in public. 20:23 Pastor Willis, you are narcissistic 20:24 you're not afraid of crowds. 20:26 Not at all. 20:27 Not at all. He loves the camera. 20:28 Amen. He loves people. 20:30 Do you think that maybe if you acquired 20:31 some help to get you through that narcissistic personality? 20:34 No, I was born with it. I am who I am, all right. 20:39 Well, listen this is good, but then you know 20:41 what they say opposites attract. 20:42 Yes. 20:43 You know Arthur is a quite storm 20:46 he is narcissistic but he is a quite one. 20:48 You see you are quite. You think so? 20:50 I know so all right. 20:52 But Vivian, do you like America? 20:55 I do. It's different. 20:57 It's different. It's very different. 20:58 Very different. 20:59 Yes, I-- 21:00 it has a lot of comfort abilities 21:02 like when you drive through it-- 21:05 You like that? 21:07 Yes. 21:09 It's the drive through window-- 21:10 We take that for granted. We take that for granted. 21:13 And the heat is way better than in our countries. 21:17 The heat system you know? 21:19 Like in Chile winter time the whole time 21:21 I have my nails and lips purple. 21:24 Purple? 21:25 Yes, and then I had to heat my house with wood you know. 21:29 And in the night I put more wood. 21:31 So every thing here is more comfortable, it's less natural. 21:37 Less relationship with nature it's more over there. 21:41 So that's something I miss less relationships still. 21:44 You know lot of us were girls scouts, 21:46 boys scouts, pathfinders, 21:47 we lived in the woods you know 21:49 so if we had to go back to that, 21:51 he will be all right, isn't that right? 21:52 Because he is a camper and then being in the military. 21:54 Well, Kim, I can't see you living in a wood with nothing-- 21:59 I enjoy, I'm like-- 22:02 I enjoy my furnace, 22:03 I enjoy being able to drive through those are nice-- 22:05 The heat runs me out of there, Kim. 22:07 I know, I have to keep the heat up 22:08 even the summer time, I told you know. 22:11 I do, I don't know, be like this is like a child 22:13 I don't know 22:14 but I do agree with you 22:16 that it is important that in a relationship 22:19 you are able to recognize that you are different. 22:22 Yeah. 22:23 But your vision is the same. 22:24 Right, the important key that we find out was the commonality 22:27 and that was very, very important 22:30 building our relationship. 22:31 To find those things that we had in common 22:33 and that's what we build upon. 22:35 Pastor, do you go back on internet and say, 22:36 she is mine. 22:37 Ah, no I never did. 22:40 You know, what, you wanted to stay humble. right? 22:42 I think I had to take her profile down so-- 22:44 Oh, that was it. That was it. 22:46 Take that profile down. Now where was the wedding? 22:49 It was in Chicago. 22:50 It was in Chicago. Oh, that's nice. 22:53 And also after it when was Amanda born? 22:56 She was born one year later. 23:00 A year later. A little less than one year. 23:02 So, pastor, you were ready to really marriage, 23:04 to have a child let's do this. 23:06 Well, I think that is a part of the, 23:07 you know, be fruitful multiple. 23:09 That what it is. 23:10 We were just following the biblical example. 23:12 Yeah, what it is all right. But remember, one more. 23:15 How did your military background 23:21 sort of blend in with your marriage? 23:23 Well, I think it had a big part to play in terms of my ability 23:27 and desire to travel and have that exposure. 23:29 I wasn't afraid to go to Chile as-- 23:32 as supposed to going to Iraq or anywhere else. 23:34 So it didn't matter it was just 23:35 get on the plane and going there. 23:37 You know, so for some people it a huge gap 23:41 you know to make that leap. 23:43 But it wasn't for me. Wow. 23:46 That was something you know. 23:47 So you just made the arrangements 23:49 and found a flight? 23:50 That's right. 23:51 You see at the end of the day 23:53 my idea was if it doesn't work out, 23:56 I just had a tremendous experience 23:57 that I don't have many friends that could say 23:59 that they had the same experience. 24:00 That's true. -I got a chance to go to Chile. 24:02 I would've probably never gone to Chile 24:04 if it wasn't for Vivian. 24:06 Wow. That's fantastic. 24:07 Yeah, it was amazing. Yes. 24:09 She took me up to the Andes Mountains. 24:11 Wow. Oh, no. 24:12 Yes, she did. She did. 24:13 I know that was breathtaking. 24:15 She was an adventurer lady 24:16 so and I fell in love with that part of her too. 24:19 An adventurer again is a program 24:22 in the Seventh-day Adventist Church 24:24 that service before you reach a level of the pathfinders. 24:26 Right. 24:27 So again out in the wilderness, doing a lot of camping, 24:30 being able to learn what plants we can and cannot eat. 24:33 But that's little truth-- 24:34 That's what you-- grew up. 24:36 What he just said has to say 24:38 that she is adventurous as an adult. 24:41 Outgoing. Oh, I see. 24:43 We have to go to the mountains 24:45 that's gonna be really suffering. 24:46 I'm looking forward to it. 24:47 You can't wear high heels going up to the mountains. 24:50 You know well, that's okay. 24:52 I just have to go in-- I'll go barefoot if I have to, 24:56 all right. 24:57 Yea of little faith, all right. 24:59 I just want to know one more thing you know 25:02 that may lead to something else, can Vivian cook? 25:06 Oh, she is a great cook. She is a great cook. 25:08 That's good. 25:09 And you know here's something really unique 25:12 because you know she has her cultural aspects her skills, 25:16 cultural skills in terms of the beans 25:19 and the rice and that. 25:20 But she also wanted to learn what I liked. 25:23 And so she started that progress in making 25:27 foods that I liked and she is good on both sides. 25:30 He taught me how to make stir fry, 25:34 and couple of makings. 25:37 She is pretty good at lasagna too. 25:38 Lasagna. Scrambled eggs. 25:40 Scrambled eggs. You didn't have scramble eggs in Chile? 25:43 Not that way. 25:44 Not that way. Okay. The way he likes it. 25:46 You put little cheese in it, 25:48 little pepper, onions and tomatoes-- 25:50 Spinach. 25:51 Oh, spinach. I use that for omelets. 25:52 Mushrooms. A whole meal pack. 25:56 Well, listen we will be right back 25:58 with Pastor Philip Willis 25:59 and his beautiful wife Vivian right after this. 26:13 Pastor, one of the things that I was thinking about, 26:16 how do you relate to her friends and how the-- 26:20 do you right to the pastor's friends? 26:25 Well, I have met some of his friends 26:27 and there is no problem. 26:30 His friends are my friends. 26:31 All right. Yes. 26:33 It's the same way to her friends I got to know. 26:36 I started to know some of her friends, 26:37 get to meet some of her friends down from Chile. 26:40 And a few of them came up for the wedding as well. 26:42 So we get along pretty well. 26:43 Yes. Yes. 26:44 Everybody support of them? 26:46 Yes. Everyone support. 26:47 You know, I'm looking forward 26:48 to be in Facebook friends with you, Vivian. 26:50 Okay. 26:51 On Facebook with pastor and I love the pictures, 26:53 I love-- 26:54 that's how I found about the baby. 26:56 The both announcement I saw pictures of Amanda. 26:58 I cannot tell you 26:59 how much it is meant to have you both here today 27:02 and the challenges that we all face in our marriages 27:05 and in our relationships and our friendships. 27:07 Don't lose side of who you are, 27:08 as Vivian is not lost side of who she is. 27:11 She brings a lot to this relationship 27:13 and so does pastor. 27:14 Being able to recognize 27:15 who he is in his cultural differences 27:18 but they have the same vision 27:20 and they want to work together and be one. 27:22 That's excellent point. 27:24 And most importantly I think 27:26 when you recognize that you want to stay on a same team 27:29 that you bring God into it, prayer is really important. 27:33 When you run into any trials and tribulations 27:35 this gonna be really, really important that you stress, 27:39 your prayer life 27:41 and that you continue to move forward no matter what. 27:44 Well, listen, we want to thank you both. 27:45 Will you come back again? Yes, thank you. 27:47 Sure, thank you for having us. 27:48 It's a privilege. Excellent. 27:50 We want to thank you, our viewers because without you 27:52 we wouldn't know how to make it work. 27:54 I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin. 27:56 And I'm Arthur Nowlin. 27:57 Keep making it work. |
Revised 2015-05-21