Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin.
And I'm Arthur Nowlin.
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And welcome to "Making It Work."
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Our topic for today is
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the "Impact Of Spirituality
In African American Males."
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Arthur, what are
some of those things
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that are impacting
African-American males today?
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Well, one of the major things
that African-American males
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have to address
is employment. Yes.
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We're dealing
with employment issues
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that are nationally
affecting our country.
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Yes. Another
thing is our education.
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The education.
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It's really important
that our African-American males
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have a proper education.
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Yes, definitely.
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Self-esteem, I
think that is important
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because a lot of
our young males today
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are not getting the
self-esteem and the values
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in their family of origin,
in their parenting skills.
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And they're really
literally raising themselves.
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Well, today we want
to welcome Sandrew King
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to "Making It Work."
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Welcome. Thank you. Thank you.
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How are you doing? I'm good.
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Good. We understand
recently you lost a loved one.
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Yes. A cousin.
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Yes. And our sympathy is
with you and your family.
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Thank you very much.
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And we really
appreciate you've taken time
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to be with us
today in this crisis.
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Let's talk about
our first question.
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Our first question Sandrew,
is who is Sandrew King? Yes.
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Well, to answer
that question is,
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I'll simply have to
say I'm a man of God.
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A father, a son, a
brother and being a man of God
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I've also been called
to be a minister to youth.
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So there's many
different sides of me
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but they all have to work
together to complete who I am.
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Another part to that
question is being a father
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and also being a son,
which role is more important?
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Oh, by far being a father.
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It's difficult at
times when, you know,
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I'm the oldest son
and my mother is a widow,
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a widower and there's
times where she wants me to do
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something and then there's
times when my daughters have--
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I have to do something
for my children so, you know,
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getting oil
changed for mom today
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or spend daddy-daughter
time where mom's oil change
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will have to wait or
I've differed that to
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one of my other brothers
because these are at times
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where my life--
my children's life
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where our
relationship is being fused.
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So they're always my priority.
And mom agrees to that, right.
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You know, because sometimes
moms could be a little selfish,
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I need this done and you're
the only one that can do this.
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Actually, she agrees
to it. Not all the time.
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She has her mom
as well. All right.
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You know, it's well,
she is more understanding
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but you know its mom is
where she wants me do to
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what she wants me to do
when she wants me to do it.
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Do you agree with the things
that we were just discussing,
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the facets of employment,
education, self-esteem.
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Some of these
things aren't patching
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African-American males today.
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I think those are few but
I think there are also some
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that you guys didn't mention.
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The lack of
fathers in their home,
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the role that society is
playing in what determines
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what a man is,
when you are being told
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growing up that you can't cry,
this shows a sign of weakness.
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And then you have those moments
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when you're
hurting, what you do?
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Well, what we do as
African-American men,
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we turn that pain
into anger and we lash out.
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So we lash out
at our loved ones,
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the females in our lives,
at other African-American males
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because we haven't
been taught how to deal
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with our emotions and
because dad wasn't there.
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So that aggression
that you just discussed,
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when did you make
a decision to turn
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those feelings
around or have you?
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I thought I did and this week
with the death of my cousin,
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I realized that those
feelings were still there.
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Okay now. And--
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Excuse me for than you
are but that's a good point
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because I wanted
to really talk about
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this situation with your cousin.
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Can you explain
to us what happened.
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And you know if this is
something that you choose
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not to talk about let me know.
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Well, it was a senseless death.
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He was intervening
to on argument with my
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brother and a young
lady and in the process
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of intervening the
young lady took his life.
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Okay.
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Its still investigate
so I can't speak too much
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to the issue but it
was the senselessness
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and him being a
husband, a father
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and his daughter's birthday
was the day after his death was.
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You know, it's
just-- I was angry,
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and I'll be honest
with you, I was not angry,
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just not at angry at
the person who did it
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but I was angry at God
because I looked back like,
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"Okay Lord, I've
been through all this.
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I've been through all this
and I've done all these things
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for You and here I go again.
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You know, and I hear You
say it that You won't put
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more on me than I can bear with.
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Did You ask me before You
put this on because I bear?"
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And I got angry.
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And I kind of turned
the blind eye and deaf ear
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to God this week.
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I got to be
honest with you. Okay.
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Because I noticed a
different Sandrew, you know,
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because of our
relationship over the years
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and I just saw a glare in your
eye and as I was communicating
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with you it
appeared that you may have
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certain things but you
really didn't internalize
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what I was trying to say to you.
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And I was trying to pull
you closer like yesterday,
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when I saw you
because I recognize that
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sometimes when we go
through grief we really have to
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communicate and share feelings
about the whole experience.
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Right, right.
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You know, so but I'm
gonna continue to pray for you
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about this
situation and I hope that
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you get stronger
and most importantly
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I hope that you recognize
that God had not turned away
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from you under
any circumstances.
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God will never do that.
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He will never
leave or forsake us.
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It's amazing that you
say that because I don't know
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what the transition was from
Thursday to Friday where it was
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angry, anger,
anger, anger, anger.
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Then Friday it
went from anger to peace
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and Saturday it was
from peace to calmness.
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And I think I have
an idea what it was but,
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you know, I'm just right
now, this is amazing how that
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transition took
place because it was bad.
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It was bad but God is still
in the blessing business and--
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And you were able
to cry? I had a moment.
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You had a moment.
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A moment because I was
asked by my brother who was,
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came within the
church with me for a while
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but reverted back to, you know,
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he started doing his
thing in the streets.
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When he asked me to preach
my cousin's funeral, you know,
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it was because he asked
me, because this was him
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in our relationship that we
had has been kind of tumultuous.
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He asked me to do this for
my cousin and for my family.
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It was like, you know,
I've preached other funerals,
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I've to do this for my family.
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So right now I am having
to be strong for my family,
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but there will come a time
where there will be tear shed.
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Sure, definitely.
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Well, you have
to purge yourself.
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Amen. Tell me.
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What are the some other goals
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that Sandrew King
has set for himself?
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Well, because God has
called me to youth ministries,
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there is, I have,
God has given me a vision
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of what He wants me
to do in youth ministries
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and one day I
would like to see an
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extreme youth ministries
weekend where we are reaching
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young people in outside of
the church and bringing them
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in where they can see how
God is moving in their lives
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through people who have been
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outside of the
relationship with God.
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And now they've come in
and they see the transition.
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So it's, you
know, will be just a fun
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but impactful spiritual weekend
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where hundreds of
young people come to Christ.
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I heard about something
last night that had took place
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in Texas and
thousands were baptized.
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And different gospel
organizations were there
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and a husband and
wife team, youth ministries
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and they are taking it
from one city to the next
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and drawing out these
young people to come to Christ.
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Let's talk about your
educational background.
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Well, part of
Detroit Public School system.
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After that I kind of
wearied off for a while.
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I went back to
school at a late age.
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Did it be that late, Sandrew?
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It was late to me
because I should have
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just continued
through, went to WC3 Wayne State
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and I did a year at
Andrew University, you know,
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and I think that
was one of the most,
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that's when I knew what
God was truly calling me to do.
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And our goal is to
go back and complete
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and get my
bachelors in Youth Ministries
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and then my Maters in
Divinity so that I can--
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I don't want to
be a pastor per se,
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but I want to be able to preach
the gospel to young people.
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Young people Yeah.
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Sandrew, I have to go
back a moment, you know,
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because there's a question
that need to try to understand.
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You have three children.
Yes, I do, three little girls.
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Can you explain
to me how you have
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three children
at such a young age,
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you know, what's
going all of that?
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Well, I was in a relationship.
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I was in a relationship and
got out of that relationship.
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And it was a long term
relationship and I was hurt
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and I was angry and I
jumped to another relationship.
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And me and that young lady had--
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when we met she
had two little girls
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and I fell in love with them.
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And we had a little girl
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and it was no
separation of the three.
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They were all my girls
unto this day when some ask me
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how many children do I
have, I say I have three,
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one by blood and two by love.
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So I have three children.
Oh, isn't that beautiful?
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One by blood and two by love.
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And you know Arthur
and I always say, you know,
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when couples and
we're going to be
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talking this
with step-parenting.
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But, you know, how many steps
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you have to take
to be a parent? None.
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How many steps? None.
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When we make that commitment
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to be in this relationship,
that child is mine.
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I don't like the labels
of stepfather, stepmother.
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I'm your dad, I'm
not trying to replace
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but you know the vow,
we have to know our roles.
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Tell me the role of--
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because the children
are with their mother.
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Yes. Primary.
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What role do you play when you
are involved with the children?
00:11:05.72\00:11:08.63
What do you do?
00:11:08.66\00:11:09.69
Well, ironically I'm a
PTSA president at their school.
00:11:09.72\00:11:15.61
We have-- Isn't
that a women's role?
00:11:15.64\00:11:17.73
Roles are changing
right. I saw that look, Sandrew.
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You know like my
mother was in that role.
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Okay, okay. Okay.
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Why did you go there?
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I know, I'm just you I
just had to throw that out.
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But years ago,
women could only hold
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those roles because men worked
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and women were at
home raising the children.
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So women were there at
the PTA meetings all right,
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Parent and Teacher Association.
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So now the roles have reversed.
I just want to make that clear.
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Well, I don't think they
could only hold that role.
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I think maybe they
were more visible--
00:11:46.95\00:11:49.16
And more available.
I do agree with that.
00:11:49.19\00:11:51.46
All right.
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Well, I just want you to
know, I get off work at 3:30
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and I go right to
PTSA meetings you know--
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That's excellent.
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So its not just, I have a job
00:11:59.24\00:12:01.39
but I also have a
greater responsibility
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to be involved my
children education.
00:12:03.05\00:12:04.73
So all three of
them go to same school?
00:12:04.76\00:12:06.46
They all go to
same school. Right.
00:12:06.49\00:12:07.52
So now that's Parent
Teacher Student Association now.
00:12:07.55\00:12:10.44
See, when I was a
little girl it was
00:12:10.47\00:12:11.85
Parent Teacher's
Association, the PTA.
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That was a long
time ago. A long.
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No you didn't
say a long time ago.
00:12:15.16\00:12:17.96
How long was that?
00:12:17.99\00:12:19.38
Maybe before that long ago, man,
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they just changed
that just a few years ago.
00:12:21.64\00:12:23.69
Okay. Okay.
00:12:23.72\00:12:24.76
Okay I'm
convinced. I'm convinced.
00:12:24.79\00:12:26.02
You want to convince me then.
00:12:26.05\00:12:27.08
All right well,
they have changed
00:12:27.11\00:12:28.41
and added that
student association.
00:12:28.44\00:12:30.08
So you are the president.
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Yes, and when it
comes there, their formal,
00:12:31.81\00:12:35.11
their mother is the primary,
she is at home with them
00:12:35.14\00:12:37.22
doing a homework and I come
over at times and I help out.
00:12:37.25\00:12:39.80
But I pop up at
school when I get a chance.
00:12:39.83\00:12:42.50
I dedicate every Friday
to my children's education.
00:12:42.53\00:12:45.30
So I'm in their
school every Friday.
00:12:45.33\00:12:47.83
You know, I stop in their class,
00:12:47.86\00:12:49.15
not to embarrass
them but I stop in,
00:12:49.18\00:12:50.62
I check with their
works, see what they're doing.
00:12:50.65\00:12:52.58
And they know that
any given time that
00:12:52.61\00:12:54.29
daddy get a call and
will leave work if have to,
00:12:54.32\00:12:56.74
to come up there and
address an education situation.
00:12:56.77\00:12:59.27
How old are they?
00:12:59.30\00:13:00.99
Laila is eight,
Aisha is 11, Aleysia is 12.
00:13:01.02\00:13:05.37
Twelve, so we
are now looking with
00:13:05.40\00:13:06.47
sixth, seventh and eighth grade.
00:13:06.50\00:13:07.71
We're looking at third,
sixth and seventh grade.
00:13:07.74\00:13:11.67
So how does their mom respond
to that fact that you come and,
00:13:11.70\00:13:17.51
you know, you
render assistance to her?
00:13:17.54\00:13:20.17
I mean, is she open to
it? Is she open to that?
00:13:20.20\00:13:22.74
Because we are talking
about now a relationship
00:13:22.77\00:13:24.89
where you guys were
involved with each other
00:13:24.92\00:13:26.82
and now you're not
to a certain extent.
00:13:26.85\00:13:28.94
Right. Well, to
be honest with you,
00:13:28.97\00:13:30.45
I have not always been that
involved in their education.
00:13:30.48\00:13:34.15
I would take them in
school and be up at the school
00:13:34.18\00:13:35.98
but as far as
being there for homework,
00:13:36.01\00:13:38.12
I wasn't there all the time.
00:13:38.15\00:13:39.49
So she is-- it is been a--
it was been a battle with us
00:13:39.52\00:13:41.86
where she was like,
00:13:41.89\00:13:42.92
"You need to be more
involved in their education."
00:13:42.95\00:13:45.60
And I'm like I thought that
I was doing a good enough part.
00:13:45.63\00:13:49.42
But good enough is
not always good enough,
00:13:49.45\00:13:52.22
you know, because I can
see where I didn't know things
00:13:52.25\00:13:55.38
about them educationally
00:13:55.41\00:13:56.85
that I should have
known as their dad.
00:13:56.88\00:13:58.96
So I'm taking a more active role
00:13:58.99\00:14:01.48
and she is receptive of that.
00:14:01.51\00:14:02.84
You know, its
times where I'm there
00:14:02.87\00:14:05.55
but there's gonna be times
when they come to my house,
00:14:05.58\00:14:08.21
you know, and we
have our homework time.
00:14:08.24\00:14:10.28
I'll pick them up after school.
00:14:10.31\00:14:11.70
But we are in a
process of working out.
00:14:11.73\00:14:12.93
But she is very
receptive to me being involved
00:14:12.96\00:14:15.48
because it's not just a
one-- a one horse-- you know,
00:14:15.51\00:14:19.22
its have got to be both of us
00:14:19.25\00:14:20.28
working together
to make this work.
00:14:20.31\00:14:22.37
So you talked about
your goals of going on to get
00:14:22.40\00:14:24.75
your bachelor's
degree, Master's of Divinity
00:14:24.78\00:14:27.25
to be a youth
ministry, in youth ministry
00:14:27.28\00:14:29.61
to be able to spread
the gospel of Jesus Christ.
00:14:29.64\00:14:32.17
Do you hope someday
to marry? Yes, I do.
00:14:32.20\00:14:36.13
You know, I do believe
that when God looked down
00:14:36.16\00:14:38.77
in the garden
and saw that and said
00:14:38.80\00:14:40.73
it was not good to be alone
00:14:40.76\00:14:41.92
and He was looking at
2011 and saw me and said,
00:14:41.95\00:14:45.08
"It is not good that
Sandrew should be alone."
00:14:45.11\00:14:47.47
So yeah, I mean,
it's a part of being,
00:14:47.50\00:14:50.01
I think, Adam was
incomplete until Eve came along.
00:14:50.04\00:14:54.55
It was a missing
piece there and every man,
00:14:54.58\00:14:59.46
I believe every man was
created to be a husband.
00:14:59.49\00:15:02.88
You know and I believe that
it's my it's-- I want to be.
00:15:02.91\00:15:05.61
You know I look at couples
like you and other couples
00:15:05.64\00:15:08.02
in the church or in
my life and I'm like,
00:15:08.05\00:15:09.67
"That's what I want."
00:15:09.70\00:15:10.74
But I have to first
be ready-- Be ready--
00:15:10.77\00:15:12.64
To be a husband. Right.
00:15:12.67\00:15:13.80
You know responsible
enough to be with my finances
00:15:13.83\00:15:16.30
and myself to be a husband
00:15:16.33\00:15:18.69
because I've been
single for roughly six years.
00:15:18.72\00:15:21.42
So its a transition is
going to have take place.
00:15:21.45\00:15:24.61
So just because I want
to be a husband doesn't mean
00:15:24.64\00:15:26.72
I'm necessarily
ready to be a husband.
00:15:26.75\00:15:28.53
And I want to say that
that's a very good point.
00:15:28.56\00:15:30.94
And I want to say
this, while he is waiting
00:15:30.97\00:15:33.92
that's where you
also our viewers,
00:15:33.95\00:15:36.74
you begin to work on yourself.
00:15:36.77\00:15:38.25
Look at yourself.
00:15:38.28\00:15:39.41
How you need God or
yourself as an individual?
00:15:39.44\00:15:42.88
What things I need
to empower me so that
00:15:42.91\00:15:45.41
I'll be ready for that
transition in relationship.
00:15:45.44\00:15:48.56
And I can appreciate that.
00:15:48.59\00:15:50.12
Okay, Sandrew, now you know
00:15:50.15\00:15:52.10
we were going to a
point, as you indicated that
00:15:52.13\00:15:54.80
you feel that you are ready now.
00:15:54.83\00:15:56.91
Is that correct? Yes.
00:15:56.94\00:15:58.30
Okay, give us some
insight on your background.
00:15:58.33\00:16:02.44
You know, I mean, you apparently
00:16:02.47\00:16:04.83
was raised in a home
with mom and dad at one point?
00:16:04.86\00:16:08.34
Well, mom for a
majority of my life.
00:16:08.37\00:16:11.96
It's odd how it
happened because from--
00:16:11.99\00:16:15.97
it was always just me and mom.
00:16:16.00\00:16:17.45
And so I was a man at
house at a very early age.
00:16:17.48\00:16:19.88
And it was me, my
mother and my brother.
00:16:19.91\00:16:22.66
I had a older sister but
she was tragically killed
00:16:22.69\00:16:25.61
when I was five years old.
00:16:25.64\00:16:27.71
And so mom became real her tight
00:16:27.74\00:16:30.85
her reign on
children got real close.
00:16:30.88\00:16:33.82
So it was like, we
were like tight unit.
00:16:33.85\00:16:36.05
Then she met my
stepfather in 86.
00:16:36.08\00:16:40.21
Okay. They got married.
00:16:40.24\00:16:41.27
So it was still that
transition where I was used
00:16:41.30\00:16:43.69
to being a man at a house.
00:16:43.72\00:16:45.01
And we bumped
heads for a long time.
00:16:45.04\00:16:47.50
And he passed in 2000
in a tragic car accident.
00:16:47.53\00:16:52.47
So it was mom there most of
the time and then the dad came,
00:16:52.50\00:16:58.15
the step-dad came, and
the only man who really--
00:16:58.18\00:16:59.88
you know he was dad.
00:16:59.91\00:17:00.94
You know he was a
step-dad, he was dad.
00:17:00.97\00:17:03.14
He raised us and
then he left then he died.
00:17:03.17\00:17:05.24
So it was once again back on me.
00:17:05.27\00:17:07.99
So majority of life, I
would say single parent
00:17:08.02\00:17:10.57
then multiple
parents, both parents.
00:17:10.60\00:17:13.52
Biological never
really active in our life
00:17:13.55\00:17:15.94
but we have a relationship now.
00:17:15.97\00:17:18.89
So that's how I was raised,
you know, in that structure.
00:17:18.92\00:17:22.47
Was brought up in
the church for a while,
00:17:22.50\00:17:24.60
left the church and I
was-- and when I say brought up,
00:17:24.63\00:17:27.48
you know, mom forced--
church was not an option.
00:17:27.51\00:17:29.75
You know, you went to
church. You went to church.
00:17:29.78\00:17:31.31
Or you didn't do anything else.
00:17:31.34\00:17:32.52
So then I got to a
point where I wanted to see
00:17:32.55\00:17:34.49
what the street life was.
00:17:34.52\00:17:35.93
You know, I did some
things that my mom didn't know
00:17:35.96\00:17:38.28
that I was doing
because once I, you know,
00:17:38.31\00:17:41.39
though she had a reign on
us it was like once I got out,
00:17:41.42\00:17:44.31
I lived a different lifestyle.
00:17:44.34\00:17:45.48
I could be, you
know, the good kid at home
00:17:45.51\00:17:48.12
but on the streets I was
a whole different person.
00:17:48.15\00:17:50.32
Really?
00:17:50.35\00:17:51.40
And people are shocking
when I tell that to people
00:17:51.43\00:17:53.19
because they look at me
like, yeah I can't imagine that,
00:17:53.22\00:17:55.92
but and a lot
of people couldn't.
00:17:55.95\00:17:57.37
So that's what made it easy
for me to get away with things.
00:17:57.40\00:18:01.50
Tell us about the transition
00:18:01.53\00:18:02.56
from the street life
to the body of Christ.
00:18:02.59\00:18:05.18
Oh, man.
00:18:05.21\00:18:06.57
First it was-- thinks
its amazing how things,
00:18:06.60\00:18:09.17
how God does things in my life.
00:18:09.20\00:18:10.56
Everything has been
surrounded by a tragic event.
00:18:10.59\00:18:14.10
I was in the
street life, you know,
00:18:14.13\00:18:15.61
I went from selling drugs
to promoting parties and doing,
00:18:15.64\00:18:18.88
you know, clubbing all the time.
00:18:18.91\00:18:20.59
And me and my
friends, we had a little
00:18:20.62\00:18:22.50
production company and
we threw a party one night.
00:18:22.53\00:18:25.44
And it was an okay
party to start off with
00:18:25.47\00:18:30.13
but something in the atmosphere
changed and there was a fight
00:18:30.16\00:18:34.11
that broke out and the
fight went from two men fighting
00:18:34.14\00:18:36.74
to a group of men fighting.
00:18:36.77\00:18:38.22
Then some gun play got involved.
00:18:38.25\00:18:39.88
Needless to say
that that party I threw,
00:18:39.91\00:18:42.06
two people lost their lives.
00:18:42.09\00:18:44.37
And that night I realized that
I was tired of living that life
00:18:44.40\00:18:48.47
and I found myself in church,
the next day, like in church.
00:18:48.50\00:18:54.29
And before the
pastor gave the appeal
00:18:54.32\00:18:56.09
I was in the middle of
the isle waiting for him to--
00:18:56.12\00:18:58.78
it was-- I was just tired.
00:18:58.81\00:19:00.34
I thought that things I
was doing was making me happy.
00:19:00.37\00:19:03.04
But I was not seeking
happiness anymore because
00:19:03.07\00:19:05.26
happiness only comes
when something happens.
00:19:05.29\00:19:07.67
So I was trying
to-- I was thinking
00:19:07.70\00:19:09.33
I wanted to be happy but I
really wanted peace and joy.
00:19:09.36\00:19:12.66
So when I walked into
the church that day, it was--
00:19:12.69\00:19:15.60
the pastor was
preaching and it was a sermon
00:19:15.63\00:19:18.86
directly towards
me and before I knew
00:19:18.89\00:19:21.38
the appeal was coming
because I've been in church
00:19:21.41\00:19:23.53
and I saw the setup
and I was like okay.
00:19:23.56\00:19:25.59
And I walked down in the
middle of the isle and I think,
00:19:25.62\00:19:28.51
I gave him the
clue to call for appeal
00:19:28.54\00:19:30.31
because I was waiting there.
00:19:30.34\00:19:31.84
And he called for
appeal and that was in 96
00:19:31.87\00:19:34.39
and I have been in church.
00:19:34.42\00:19:36.00
It must had been a
tremendous relief, you know,
00:19:36.03\00:19:39.68
once you walked in
there and you made a decision
00:19:39.71\00:19:42.90
that you were going
to change your life.
00:19:42.93\00:19:45.68
And, you know, especially
leaving that other life behind,
00:19:45.71\00:19:50.56
you know, because
in most of the cases,
00:19:50.59\00:19:52.50
when I talk to
some of the clients
00:19:52.53\00:19:53.97
that come into my
office and my awareness myself,
00:19:54.00\00:19:58.02
understanding that that
life is like consistent.
00:19:58.05\00:20:01.62
It takes up all
your time. Oh, yes.
00:20:01.65\00:20:04.16
It's almost
like a job, you know.
00:20:04.19\00:20:06.41
I party six days a week.
00:20:06.44\00:20:08.60
I mean, literally and
I then will go for work.
00:20:08.63\00:20:11.66
You structure your
life around the events
00:20:11.69\00:20:14.73
that are gonna take
place later on in evening or--
00:20:14.76\00:20:19.05
so it was like,
okay, I got out of work,
00:20:19.08\00:20:21.12
I got to bring my clothes
for the club, to the job,
00:20:21.15\00:20:23.29
I have got to make
sure, I'm calling everybody,
00:20:23.32\00:20:25.09
everybody know
where we were gonna be at.
00:20:25.12\00:20:26.48
It was literally a job.
00:20:26.51\00:20:28.39
But the financial
benefits were great but then I--
00:20:28.42\00:20:31.87
this-- the physical.
00:20:31.90\00:20:33.17
I saw a picture of
me when I was at a club.
00:20:33.20\00:20:34.98
I took well, like a bunch
of female or friends whatever,
00:20:35.01\00:20:37.58
and I saw no life in my eyes.
00:20:37.61\00:20:40.18
And I'm looking
like, is that me?
00:20:40.21\00:20:42.70
I didn't recognize myself.
00:20:42.73\00:20:44.41
But I saw a
picture right after that
00:20:44.44\00:20:47.53
and it was total
different person.
00:20:47.56\00:20:49.52
I mean, totally different.
00:20:49.55\00:20:50.84
Now a lot of people don't
understand is my transition
00:20:50.87\00:20:53.52
from the street life to
the church was difficult
00:20:53.55\00:20:57.41
in itself because all
my friends in the street
00:20:57.44\00:20:59.75
turned their back on me
and the people in the church
00:20:59.78\00:21:01.95
had not yet accepted me.
00:21:01.98\00:21:03.76
So I was in a
valley. In the middle, yes.
00:21:03.79\00:21:05.75
A valley of like, lo it
was just me and the Lord
00:21:05.78\00:21:08.32
and it took me a
time to realize that
00:21:08.35\00:21:10.01
He had did that, so that
00:21:10.04\00:21:11.87
we can get our
relationship together.
00:21:11.90\00:21:13.40
But it was a very lonely time
of my life because my family,
00:21:13.43\00:21:17.91
you know, my diet had changed,
my lifestyle had changed
00:21:17.94\00:21:20.78
there were you know, I
had changed dramatically.
00:21:20.81\00:21:24.17
I mean, drastically
and they couldn't accept.
00:21:24.20\00:21:26.53
It was like I went
from street guy to preacher
00:21:26.56\00:21:30.78
in a matter of-- in a moment.
00:21:30.81\00:21:32.11
Even called turkey. Yeah.
00:21:32.14\00:21:33.60
And you are the first Adventist
00:21:33.63\00:21:35.99
in your immediate family?
00:21:36.02\00:21:37.91
Yes, I was the first.
00:21:37.94\00:21:39.88
So it was-- I
put a lot of strain
00:21:39.91\00:21:41.56
on my family because, you
know, chores had to be done
00:21:41.59\00:21:44.96
on Friday night,
and I'm looking like,
00:21:44.99\00:21:47.58
you know, sorry mom,
I can't wash the dishes.
00:21:47.61\00:21:50.51
And she was like--
at first she didn't
00:21:50.54\00:21:53.08
understand it she
won't accepting of it.
00:21:53.11\00:21:55.27
And then I said I
made-- drew such a hard line
00:21:55.30\00:21:57.47
on it that she-- and
I'm talking to my auntie
00:21:57.50\00:21:59.34
who brought me into the
church originally, you know,
00:21:59.37\00:22:01.97
she understood it so I had
to do my chores before hand,
00:22:02.00\00:22:05.89
you know, and it
always worked out,
00:22:05.92\00:22:07.87
you know, where
they were accepting.
00:22:07.90\00:22:09.94
I remember the day that you came
00:22:09.97\00:22:12.68
to church on Sabbath Saturday.
00:22:12.71\00:22:16.03
There was a
choir, in the choir loft
00:22:16.06\00:22:18.26
by the name of,
God's Hands of Praise,
00:22:18.29\00:22:20.81
which I am the
founder and director of
00:22:20.84\00:22:23.52
God's Hands of Praise,
Gospel sign language choir,
00:22:23.55\00:22:26.30
and they're 17th year now.
00:22:26.33\00:22:28.84
And you immediately wanted
to be a part of this ministry
00:22:28.87\00:22:34.31
and you did and still
once a member always a member.
00:22:34.34\00:22:37.84
And even last year
and then just recently,
00:22:37.87\00:22:40.70
we had celebrated
our welcome home Sabbath
00:22:40.73\00:22:43.86
and you joined us with
our song, even been the MC.
00:22:43.89\00:22:47.54
We need to just
clarify your role
00:22:47.57\00:22:50.14
and where you are
in your life right now.
00:22:50.17\00:22:52.74
You are not in a
cohabitating relationship. No.
00:22:52.77\00:22:56.08
You're taking good care
of your three girls. Yes.
00:22:56.11\00:22:58.65
You're hoping to earn
your bachelor's degree. Yes.
00:22:58.68\00:23:01.45
Go on to earn your
Master's of Divinity
00:23:01.48\00:23:03.87
to become a youth
pastor for youth ministries.
00:23:03.90\00:23:07.50
Yes. Right now my role in
youth ministries is simply--
00:23:07.53\00:23:11.41
well, let me tell
you some of my history.
00:23:11.44\00:23:13.29
I once held the
position as vice president
00:23:13.32\00:23:17.39
of the Motor
City Youth Federation,
00:23:17.42\00:23:19.29
AY leader, youth leader in
my church for several years.
00:23:19.32\00:23:22.98
I work in different facets
of working with young people.
00:23:23.01\00:23:27.90
Going to different churches
00:23:27.93\00:23:28.96
and speaking to young
people about specific issues.
00:23:28.99\00:23:32.49
I've had a workshop--
00:23:32.52\00:23:35.68
I've done workshops on
Halloween, on relationships.
00:23:35.71\00:23:39.85
Actually helped you
out with a couple of--
00:23:39.88\00:23:41.24
Yes, as a youth congress.
00:23:41.27\00:23:42.67
Yes, in Florida
and in Atlanta Georgia.
00:23:42.70\00:23:45.49
Yes, I'm trying to
become a part of another
00:23:45.52\00:23:48.08
youth conference
that's coming up,
00:23:48.11\00:23:49.45
doing a workshop there.
00:23:49.48\00:23:50.51
So, my role is not
specific with entitle,
00:23:50.54\00:23:53.81
but God has called
me into youth ministries
00:23:53.84\00:23:56.53
and I know that, you
know, that is why He has me--
00:23:56.56\00:24:00.16
has placed me specifically.
00:24:00.19\00:24:01.82
Even in my job
where I work at now,
00:24:01.85\00:24:03.92
I work with
incarcerate youths. Yes.
00:24:03.95\00:24:06.23
And whenever I get an
opportunity or they want to
00:24:06.26\00:24:08.72
hear about God I, you know,
without conflicting, you know,
00:24:08.75\00:24:12.88
I give them
some words of wisdom.
00:24:12.91\00:24:14.94
Now I want to
share this with you.
00:24:14.97\00:24:16.23
I heard this just yesterday.
00:24:16.26\00:24:19.07
God does not
always call the equipped,
00:24:19.10\00:24:22.83
but He always equips the called.
00:24:22.86\00:24:26.09
And I believe that's what
He is doing with you, Sandrew.
00:24:26.12\00:24:28.46
Absolute. You know, I think
00:24:28.49\00:24:30.22
I've to take a
little credit here.
00:24:30.25\00:24:32.32
You know what I'm saying. Okay.
00:24:32.35\00:24:33.81
Basically because I
recognized in Sandrew,
00:24:33.84\00:24:37.17
that he has some certain talent.
00:24:37.20\00:24:39.42
Yes, you did. You know, and I--
00:24:39.45\00:24:40.96
Sign language.
00:24:40.99\00:24:42.03
Not only sign
language, Kim, you know, I mean,
00:24:42.06\00:24:44.25
we both worked together.
00:24:44.28\00:24:45.39
Sandrew and I used
to have a great time
00:24:45.42\00:24:47.33
with the sign
language choir. Yes. Yes.
00:24:47.36\00:24:49.53
But working in youth ministries,
00:24:49.56\00:24:52.16
because I happened to be
00:24:52.19\00:24:53.64
the Motor City Youth
Federation president,
00:24:53.67\00:24:55.85
and I forced
you to get involved.
00:24:55.88\00:24:58.62
Yes. And forced
will be the correct word.
00:24:58.65\00:25:00.74
Oh, yes, you know, at that time
you served 11 years together.
00:25:00.77\00:25:04.42
Yes, I did.
Eleven years together--
00:25:04.45\00:25:06.18
But it was those two ministries
that kept me in the church.
00:25:06.21\00:25:09.31
What do you say.
00:25:09.34\00:25:10.38
Because at the time
that's when I was in my valley,
00:25:10.41\00:25:14.32
when I needed
God's Hands of Praise,
00:25:14.35\00:25:17.69
when I needed to be a
part of the youth federation.
00:25:17.72\00:25:20.10
Because there was not our head,
00:25:20.13\00:25:22.14
you so used to
being a part of something.
00:25:22.17\00:25:24.34
And even being a
leader of some things that
00:25:24.37\00:25:27.31
it was God's way of
saying, you may not always be
00:25:27.34\00:25:29.77
the leader but you
always have to be a part.
00:25:29.80\00:25:32.40
Be a part. So I just--
00:25:32.43\00:25:33.97
it was like, okay,
I need these things
00:25:34.00\00:25:35.56
to solidify my
relationship and to keep me.
00:25:35.59\00:25:37.90
It was the-- those little things
00:25:37.93\00:25:39.00
that glued me to the church.
00:25:39.03\00:25:40.88
That is you still
remember your sign language?
00:25:40.91\00:25:43.02
Yes, I do. Oh, praise the Lord.
00:25:43.05\00:25:47.55
You know, I think
that is so wonderful.
00:25:47.58\00:25:50.80
I just want to
just briefly mention
00:25:50.83\00:25:52.43
a little bit
about your grandfather.
00:25:52.46\00:25:54.56
Yes. And what happened?
00:25:54.59\00:25:56.13
Can you just tell
us a little bit about
00:25:56.16\00:25:57.28
so because we want to continue
to pray for this situation.
00:25:57.31\00:26:01.38
And it kind of all
ties together with the thing
00:26:01.41\00:26:03.55
that was happened to my
cousin and my grandfather
00:26:03.58\00:26:05.37
because my
grandfather's name was Draper,
00:26:05.40\00:26:08.39
my cousin-- my brother,
00:26:08.42\00:26:09.62
I've a brother who is younger
to me, his name is Draper
00:26:09.65\00:26:12.10
and my cousin who
passed name was Draper.
00:26:12.13\00:26:14.46
My grandfather left his
apartment two years ago.
00:26:14.49\00:26:19.81
It'll be two years, October
28 and was never seen again.
00:26:19.84\00:26:24.69
Never seen again.
00:26:24.72\00:26:25.75
He got-- received a
phone call to come to his
00:26:25.78\00:26:27.52
rental property
and he went there,
00:26:27.55\00:26:30.21
the cab driver saw him walk
up the stairs into the house
00:26:30.24\00:26:32.78
and we haven't seen or
heard from him for two years.
00:26:32.81\00:26:35.78
That's a
tragedy. Oh, my goodness.
00:26:35.81\00:26:38.13
It's just the-- that what makes
00:26:38.16\00:26:39.30
its hard is there's no closure.
00:26:39.33\00:26:41.57
And I think in
everything that we do
00:26:41.60\00:26:44.18
it whether be relationship,
personal relationships,
00:26:44.21\00:26:48.03
in all parts of our
life, we need to have closure
00:26:48.06\00:26:50.22
in us for us to move on.
00:26:50.25\00:26:51.87
Without closure
you are kind of stuck
00:26:51.90\00:26:54.04
at that point where
you don't know what to do.
00:26:54.07\00:26:57.56
You know, this is,
this is phenomenal.
00:26:57.59\00:26:59.47
Sandrew, you got to
come back, you know.
00:26:59.50\00:27:01.47
I can't believe where
did the 30 minutes go.
00:27:01.50\00:27:03.29
But listen, we're
going to be right back
00:27:03.32\00:27:05.74
and we're gonna talk a
little bit more with Sandrew
00:27:05.77\00:27:07.87
and talk about
upcoming topics just for you.
00:27:07.90\00:27:11.40
If you've just tuned
in, we are talking about
00:27:21.63\00:27:23.46
the impact of African-American
males and their spirituality.
00:27:23.49\00:27:27.62
Sandrew King, we are
talking about closure,
00:27:27.65\00:27:30.88
not having that closure.
00:27:30.91\00:27:32.43
Where are you now?
00:27:32.46\00:27:33.49
Where's your hope
about your grandfather?
00:27:33.52\00:27:35.89
I've peace with it
because two years-- you just--
00:27:35.92\00:27:41.78
there are some
things you just know.
00:27:41.81\00:27:44.56
I've my own and I don't want to
00:27:44.59\00:27:45.79
put them out
there because, you know,
00:27:45.82\00:27:47.29
there're other family
members that still have
00:27:47.32\00:27:48.74
their own diff-- I
just know where I'm with it.
00:27:48.77\00:27:51.60
So it would just be for
the closure for my family,
00:27:51.63\00:27:54.43
I've peace where,
where I'm with it.
00:27:54.46\00:27:56.79
You know, sometimes
when I get down about it
00:27:56.82\00:27:59.36
but I still understand
that it is what it is.
00:27:59.39\00:28:02.55
It is what it is. Yes.
00:28:02.58\00:28:04.04
Well listen, we're out of time
00:28:04.07\00:28:05.53
but we want to
thank you, Sandrew King--
00:28:05.56\00:28:07.60
Thank you for having
me. For being with us.
00:28:07.63\00:28:08.79
Appreciated very
much. Oh, my goodness.
00:28:08.82\00:28:10.60
I'm Dr. Kim
Logan-Nowlin. I'm Arthur Nowlin.
00:28:10.63\00:28:13.17
And you've been watching,
"Making It Work." God bless.
00:28:13.20\00:28:18.15