Participants: Mike and Gayle Tucker
Series Code: MGH
Program Code: MGH000090A
|
00:19 Hello, and welcome to Marriage in God's Hands.
00:21 I'm Mike Tucker, this is Gayle Tucker, 00:23 We're with Faith for Today Television. 00:26 Host of LifeStyle Magazine, and Mad about Marriage. 00:29 And we're honored to be here today, 00:31 talking to you about your marriage 00:33 and marriage in general. 00:35 And one of the best things you can do for marriage, 00:37 is to pray for it, is that right? 00:39 Yeah, yes, 00:40 you know we have the power of God at our disposal. 00:42 Yes. 00:44 How could we possibly pass up this opportunity 00:46 to have the God of the universe step right into our own homes 00:50 and say, I care about you individually, 00:53 I will guide you and lead you. 00:55 Man, that's a great promise. 00:56 You know, for centuries, pastors have talk about 01:00 the power of prayer in the home, 01:01 and we've said the family that prays together, 01:03 stays together. 01:05 Do you know there is actually research 01:06 that supports that now? 01:08 Really. 01:09 The National Marriage Project did a study, 01:11 and they said that in families where husband and wife 01:14 has shared religious values, 01:17 they practice those religious values, 01:19 and there is a faith based, grace based religion, 01:23 they practice regularly. 01:25 In those marriages where husband and wife will pray with 01:29 and for each other for five minutes a day, 01:33 with and for each other for five minutes a day. 01:36 Only one in 1152 ever got divorced. 01:42 That seems like an impossible statistic, doesn't it? 01:44 It does, it does. 01:46 One in 1100... 01:48 152... 01:49 Wow. 01:51 And that again is 01:52 in where they share a religious belief system, 01:56 grace based, they participate 01:57 and then they pray with and for each other, 02:00 five minutes every day, seven days a week. 02:02 That seems very little sacrifice, doesn't it? 02:05 It does. Five minutes a day. 02:06 Yeah. Yeah. And yet look at the results. 02:09 That seems impossible 02:10 when you consider what the divorce rate is. 02:12 You know the divorce rate may be around 14 percent. 02:15 Yeah. 02:16 And yet, I mean what's the ratio there, 02:20 I mean all the statistics there-- 02:21 Oh, it's ridiculous, it is. 02:23 So it does tell us that faith in God 02:25 and a practice with that faith in prayer, 02:27 all come together to help form stronger families. 02:31 There is also been studies done on a marital satisfaction 02:34 for people who have spirituality 02:37 or grace based faith. 02:39 They find the highest levels of marital satisfaction occur 02:42 when husband and wife share a faith 02:45 and practice it together, that's the highest level. 02:48 The second highest level is if only one can have a faith 02:52 that's where the dad has a faith, 02:55 so if mom doesn't have-- 02:56 If one of the two are not gonna have faith, 02:58 have the spirituality. 03:00 It's best if the man has it, 03:01 because that's the second highest level of satisfaction. 03:03 It's better if both of them have it, 03:05 but the second best is when he has faith. 03:08 The third best is when she has it, 03:10 and the worst is when neither of them has it. 03:12 There is something about that father's influence 03:15 on home, isn't there? 03:16 When He leads and guides in a spiritual way, 03:20 everybody is happier. 03:22 You know there is a saying that says. 03:25 "If mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy." 03:26 Yeah. 03:29 There is a great deal of truth to that, 03:31 but I think even above that 03:32 is dad is leading in the atmosphere of that home, 03:36 and when he is a spiritual leader, 03:39 it makes a huge difference 03:40 in the satisfaction reported by both wife and children. 03:44 And children, that's marital satisfaction, 03:47 but it's familiar satisfaction not just marital actually. 03:50 Because it's both husband, wife and children, 03:53 all report higher levels of satisfaction 03:56 with the relationship and with the family. 03:58 You know, I think that sometimes 04:00 people get the idea though 04:02 that prayer is their way of changing the spouse. 04:04 Yeah, if I will just pray over this problem, 04:07 my spouse will eventually change. 04:10 Oh, Lord, please change my spouse, please. 04:12 I think it's the wrong prayer most of the time. 04:14 What it should it be? 04:15 I think the prayer should be, "Lord bless my spouse. 04:19 Bless my spouse with everything they need. 04:23 Do whatever is necessary to bring fullness, happiness, 04:26 completeness, wholeness to my spouse." 04:28 And salvation. 04:30 And salvation, and oh, by the way Lord change me. 04:34 And, you know, the change in yourself is the one thing 04:36 that you can really participate in. 04:38 You can't really participate when your spouse is change. 04:41 You can pray for him to be blessed 04:43 or her to be blessed, 04:44 but I think that's the more proper prayer quite frankly. 04:46 Well, I think the thing is 04:48 when you are praying for them to be blessed, 04:50 you are praying for everything that they need, 04:53 for any changes that might need to be made. 04:55 And God knows what those are better than you do. 04:57 Better than you do. 04:59 And He is giving fullness to that person, 05:01 He is giving His grace, 05:03 He is giving His best to that person. 05:05 Rather than being instructive in our prayers, 05:08 we are facilitating God to do what God does best. 05:12 Glory to God in my spouse's life. 05:15 And then open me up to any change 05:17 that I need to make that will help, 05:19 not only my spouse, but will help me, 05:21 bring me closer to you. 05:22 That's right. 05:24 Along those lines, I think that some families feel like 05:26 they don't know how to pray for each other 05:28 or with each other. 05:31 You know, you have strange words, 05:33 I don't know exactly is there a magical pattern to follow. 05:37 And I think that it's important that we understand 05:39 that there is no magic pattern, 05:41 but there are good examples of prayer in scripture. 05:43 There are. 05:45 I think that's one reason why people don't pray 05:47 especially together, 05:48 is it they feel like they don't know the words. 05:51 I don't have the right words, I don't have the right pattern. 05:53 So I'm just gonna avoid that, 05:56 but there are some wonderful patterns for how we can pray. 06:00 First of all I think to remember 06:01 that the only wrong way to pray is not to pray. 06:04 Yeah. 06:05 If you are not praying, 06:06 you are missing something that's huge 06:08 as a blessing for your family. 06:09 You certainly are. 06:11 And then to realize 06:12 that there are many different ways to pray. 06:13 You can pray in very informal ways as well. 06:16 Just while you are walking together you can pray. 06:19 I remember growing up the... 06:20 I was instructed 06:22 that there should be three parts to the prayer, 06:23 three equal parts. 06:25 And one is praise, another is thanksgiving, 06:29 and another is request. 06:30 But, you know, as I look at scripture, 06:32 I don't find that pattern. 06:34 Not necessarily. No, not necessarily there. 06:36 In fact what I do find is that some of the prayers 06:37 are nothing more than a series of petitions, 06:40 nothing more than asking. 06:41 Just a groan before God, right? 06:43 Yeah, in fact someone who has written 06:45 that the best prayers often have more groans than words. 06:48 And I think that's truth, 06:50 just an opening of the heart and your pain to the Lord. 06:52 So it's all right 06:53 if your prayer has a lot of request in it. 06:57 Don't be afraid of that. 06:58 In fact what we'd like to do right now 06:59 is maybe open our Bibles 07:01 and pray through a passage of scripture, 07:04 a prayer of scripture. 07:05 And learn how to do this as a family, 07:07 maybe as a couple together, 07:08 learn how this really implies to our lives 07:10 together as a family, what do you think? 07:11 How can we pray for our marriage? 07:13 How can we pray for each other? 07:14 That's right. By following scripture. 07:15 By following scripture. That's right. 07:17 And one place to do this is in the Psalms, 07:19 because the Psalms are songs, they were written for worship, 07:23 they are poems, but they are also prayers. 07:25 And if you want to learn how to pray, pray the psalms. 07:28 Just change the personal pronouns 07:30 and you will find 07:32 that they are applicable to life today, absolutely. 07:34 Yeah, absolutely. 07:35 And we're gonna go with an oldie 07:37 but a goodie, our favorite. 07:38 I think America's favorite psalm, 07:39 and that is Psalms 23, the shepherd psalm. 07:42 And people think ah-- 07:43 I have heard that so many times, 07:45 I know everything there is to know about it. 07:46 May be not. 07:47 There is always something new every time I read it, 07:50 every time I read any psalm. 07:51 I find just such an amazing wealth there. 07:54 I believe that the shepherd psalm 07:56 has seven petitions, 07:58 it is a prayer with seven requests before God. 08:01 Okay. All right. 08:02 Request number one is simply be my guard, 08:05 I need a guard, be my guard. 08:06 So verse 1 says, 08:08 Psalm of David, Yahweh is my shepherd, 08:12 I will not lack anything. 08:14 And most people are familiar with that being 08:16 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." 08:18 I shall not want. 08:19 But it's basically a more modern way 08:20 of saying the same thing, 08:22 Yahweh, the name for God is my shepherd, 08:25 I shall not lack for anything. I will not lack for anything. 08:29 So if He is going to be my God, 08:31 He is going to provide every single thing I need. 08:34 So we could say, you know, be our shepherd. 08:37 Please, Lord, I need a shepherd. 08:38 You know we are described as the sheep of His pasture, 08:41 His lambs. 08:42 That's a beautiful picture, isn't it, 08:44 when you see the sheep dotting the hillside. 08:46 And the shepherd is watching over you. 08:48 However, you know, I am a city boy 08:50 but I've traveled 08:52 and I've talked to shepherds in the United States, 08:54 shepherds in South Africa, New Zealand and Australia 08:59 and they tell me 09:00 that even though they love their sheep 09:01 that they are the dumbest animals 09:03 on the face of the planet. 09:04 And that they need constant care and attention 09:07 or they will perish. 09:08 So when the Lord calls you His sheep, 09:10 it may not be really a compliment. 09:15 I don't really want to be known as a sheep. 09:17 Yeah. Yeah. 09:18 But then again it is true. 09:20 I am in constant need of God or I perish. 09:24 That's right. 09:25 I cannot save myself, I cannot feed myself, 09:28 I cannot do anything for myself, 09:30 I need a shepherd. 09:31 I need a shepherd. 09:33 And the beauty is this says the Lord is my shepherd. 09:36 Yes. 09:37 I will not want, I will not need anything. 09:40 Not gonna lack for anything good in my life, 09:42 He is gonna provide it all. 09:43 Even though, I may be a total mess, 09:45 I don't know where I am going, I don't know what I am doing, 09:48 He still loves me and holds me close as His sheep. 09:53 How wonderful is that? 09:55 So that's the first prayer to pray for ourselves 09:56 and may be for my spouse would be my spouse's shepherd, 09:59 be Gayle's God, be her shepherd, 10:03 be close to her today. 10:04 You know, I think that's a beautiful thing to pray 10:06 on your own for your spouse. 10:08 You know to say, 10:09 they don't even know I'm praying this Lord. 10:11 He needs a shepherd today. 10:12 The second petition is found in verse 2 and it says, 10:15 "He makes me lie down in green pastures, 10:17 he leads me beside quiet waters." 10:20 Basically this is a prayer for rest. 10:23 To lie down in green pastures. 10:25 Sheep will not lie down 10:27 if there are four things in their lives. 10:30 These four things have to all be absent 10:31 for them to lie down. 10:33 The first is fear. 10:34 If they are fearful, they will not lie down. 10:37 if they're afraid that there is an enemy close by, 10:40 a predator, they will not lie down. 10:42 How true is that of us in life? Yeah. 10:44 You know, when you are fearful, you can't sleep at night. 10:48 There are thing that are running through your mind, 10:50 there are worries. 10:52 So I might pray for you, Lord, give him rest. 10:56 Let him lie down, don't let him be afraid. 10:57 Don't let him worry about finance system, 10:59 don't let him worry about the next appointment 11:02 coming up with the travel or anything else, let him rest. 11:04 Give my spouse rest, and flies must be absent. 11:07 I used to preach this as flees but shepherds tell me 11:10 that, that sheep do not get flees 11:11 but flies bug them like crazy. 11:15 That's a pesky thing that just won't go away. 11:17 Right, right. 11:18 So, Lord, rid my spouse off those little irritations 11:22 that are driving him or her crazy, get rid of that. 11:25 Another is friction. 11:27 If indeed your aren't... 11:29 sheep are not getting along with each other, 11:30 they wont lie down. 11:31 I didn't know sheep didn't get along, 11:33 but they don't, 11:34 they don't always get along, yeah. 11:35 You know, we don't always get along either. 11:37 No, we don't. 11:38 So if I were to pray for you, I mean pray, Lord, 11:41 take away any problems in relationships, 11:45 whether it's our relationship 11:46 or relationship outside of ours. 11:48 Things that might be keep Mike from resting, 11:52 help him to rest, 11:53 help his relationships to be in good shape, 11:55 help him to have peace in that area. 11:57 And the last thing that has to be absent is famine. 12:00 If sheep are hungry, they don't lie down. 12:03 So I guess the question is, 12:04 is there a famine of God's word in your life. 12:07 Are you hungry for God's word and if you are, 12:10 there is no real rest. 12:12 And of course there is no rest 12:13 if there is physical hunger either. 12:15 And so we pray for an absence of hunger 12:17 in the life of our spouse. 12:18 And that might mean that you know 12:20 that we have enough work, 12:22 so that we have enough money to maintain our family. 12:27 You know that we just have everything 12:28 that we need to feel satisfied, 12:31 so that we are content in our life, 12:33 and are able to move forward. 12:34 Now we just hit the first two verses 12:36 but already we got two major petitions, 12:40 two major requests of God that we make for our spouse. 12:42 Be my spouse's guard, be my spouse's shepherd, 12:46 so that they want for nothing, and give my spouse rest. 12:51 It's nice that God starts every day with rest. 12:54 The evening and the morning were the first day 12:56 it begins with rest. 12:57 He understands our need for that as well, doesn't He? 12:59 Oh, and how much we need rest. 13:01 This world just keeps us in chaos all the time 13:03 but to think that we can rest. 13:06 We gonna pause our prayer right now. 13:08 We'll complete it when we come back. 13:09 We'll be back in just a moment. |
Revised 2016-06-09