Hello, and welcome to
Marriage in God's Hands.
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I'm Mike Tucker,
this is Gayle Tucker,
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We're with Faith
for Today Television.
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Host of LifeStyle Magazine,
and Mad about Marriage.
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And we're
honored to be here today,
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talking to you
about your marriage
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and marriage in general.
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And one of the best
things you can do for marriage,
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is to pray for
it, is that right?
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Yeah, yes,
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you know we have the
power of God at our disposal.
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Yes.
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How could we possibly
pass up this opportunity
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to have the God of the universe
step right into our own homes
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and say, I care
about you individually,
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I will guide you and lead you.
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Man, that's a great promise.
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You know, for centuries,
pastors have talk about
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the power of prayer in the home,
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and we've said the
family that prays together,
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stays together.
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Do you know there
is actually research
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that supports that now?
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Really.
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The National
Marriage Project did a study,
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and they said that in
families where husband and wife
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has shared religious values,
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they practice
those religious values,
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and there is a faith
based, grace based religion,
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they practice regularly.
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In those marriages where
husband and wife will pray with
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and for each other
for five minutes a day,
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with and for each
other for five minutes a day.
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Only one in 1152
ever got divorced.
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That seems like an impossible
statistic, doesn't it?
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It does, it does.
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One in 1100...
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152...
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Wow.
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And that again is
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in where they share a
religious belief system,
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grace based, they participate
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and then they pray
with and for each other,
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five minutes every
day, seven days a week.
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That seems very
little sacrifice, doesn't it?
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It does. Five minutes a day.
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Yeah. Yeah. And yet
look at the results.
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That seems impossible
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when you consider
what the divorce rate is.
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You know the divorce
rate may be around 14 percent.
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Yeah.
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And yet, I mean
what's the ratio there,
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I mean all the
statistics there--
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Oh, it's ridiculous, it is.
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So it does tell
us that faith in God
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and a practice with
that faith in prayer,
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all come together to
help form stronger families.
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There is also been studies
done on a marital satisfaction
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for people who have spirituality
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or grace based faith.
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They find the highest levels
of marital satisfaction occur
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when husband and
wife share a faith
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and practice it together,
that's the highest level.
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The second highest level is
if only one can have a faith
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that's where
the dad has a faith,
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so if mom doesn't have--
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If one of the two
are not gonna have faith,
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have the spirituality.
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It's best if the man has it,
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because that's the second
highest level of satisfaction.
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It's better if
both of them have it,
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but the second best
is when he has faith.
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The third best
is when she has it,
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and the worst is when
neither of them has it.
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There is something
about that father's influence
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on home, isn't there?
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When He leads and
guides in a spiritual way,
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everybody is happier.
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You know there is
a saying that says.
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"If mama ain't
happy ain't nobody happy."
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Yeah.
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There is a great
deal of truth to that,
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but I think even above that
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is dad is leading in
the atmosphere of that home,
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and when he is a
spiritual leader,
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it makes a huge difference
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in the satisfaction reported
by both wife and children.
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And children, that's
marital satisfaction,
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but it's familiar satisfaction
not just marital actually.
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Because it's both
husband, wife and children,
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all report higher
levels of satisfaction
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with the relationship
and with the family.
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You know, I think that sometimes
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people get the idea though
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that prayer is their
way of changing the spouse.
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Yeah, if I will just
pray over this problem,
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my spouse will
eventually change.
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Oh, Lord, please
change my spouse, please.
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I think it's the wrong
prayer most of the time.
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What it should it be?
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I think the prayer should
be, "Lord bless my spouse.
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Bless my spouse with
everything they need.
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Do whatever is necessary
to bring fullness, happiness,
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completeness,
wholeness to my spouse."
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And salvation.
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And salvation, and oh,
by the way Lord change me.
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And, you know, the change
in yourself is the one thing
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that you can
really participate in.
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You can't really participate
when your spouse is change.
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You can pray for
him to be blessed
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or her to be blessed,
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but I think that's the more
proper prayer quite frankly.
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Well, I think the thing is
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when you are praying
for them to be blessed,
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you are praying for
everything that they need,
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for any changes that
might need to be made.
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And God knows what
those are better than you do.
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Better than you do.
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And He is giving
fullness to that person,
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He is giving His grace,
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He is giving His
best to that person.
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Rather than being
instructive in our prayers,
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we are facilitating God
to do what God does best.
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Glory to God in
my spouse's life.
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And then open
me up to any change
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that I need to
make that will help,
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not only my
spouse, but will help me,
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bring me closer to you.
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That's right.
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Along those lines, I think
that some families feel like
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they don't know how
to pray for each other
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or with each other.
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You know, you
have strange words,
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I don't know exactly is there
a magical pattern to follow.
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And I think that it's
important that we understand
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that there is no magic pattern,
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but there are good
examples of prayer in scripture.
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There are.
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I think that's one
reason why people don't pray
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especially together,
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is it they feel like
they don't know the words.
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I don't have the right words,
I don't have the right pattern.
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So I'm just gonna avoid that,
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but there are some wonderful
patterns for how we can pray.
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First of all I think to remember
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that the only wrong
way to pray is not to pray.
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Yeah.
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If you are not praying,
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you are missing
something that's huge
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as a blessing for your family.
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You certainly are.
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And then to realize
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that there are many
different ways to pray.
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You can pray in very
informal ways as well.
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Just while you are
walking together you can pray.
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I remember growing up the...
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I was instructed
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that there should be
three parts to the prayer,
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three equal parts.
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And one is praise,
another is thanksgiving,
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and another is request.
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But, you know, as
I look at scripture,
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I don't find that pattern.
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Not necessarily. No,
not necessarily there.
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In fact what I do find
is that some of the prayers
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are nothing more than
a series of petitions,
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nothing more than asking.
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Just a groan before God, right?
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Yeah, in fact
someone who has written
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that the best prayers often
have more groans than words.
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And I think that's truth,
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just an opening of the
heart and your pain to the Lord.
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So it's all right
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if your prayer has a
lot of request in it.
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Don't be afraid of that.
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In fact what we'd
like to do right now
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is maybe open our Bibles
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and pray through a
passage of scripture,
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a prayer of scripture.
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And learn how to
do this as a family,
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maybe as a couple together,
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learn how this
really implies to our lives
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together as a
family, what do you think?
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How can we pray
for our marriage?
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How can we pray for each other?
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That's right. By
following scripture.
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By following
scripture. That's right.
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And one place to do
this is in the Psalms,
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because the Psalms are songs,
they were written for worship,
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they are poems, but
they are also prayers.
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And if you want to learn
how to pray, pray the psalms.
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Just change the
personal pronouns
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and you will find
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that they are applicable
to life today, absolutely.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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And we're gonna go with an oldie
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but a goodie, our favorite.
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I think
America's favorite psalm,
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and that is Psalms
23, the shepherd psalm.
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And people think ah--
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I have heard that so many times,
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I know everything
there is to know about it.
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May be not.
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There is always something
new every time I read it,
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every time I read any psalm.
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I find just such an
amazing wealth there.
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I believe that
the shepherd psalm
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has seven petitions,
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it is a prayer with
seven requests before God.
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Okay. All right.
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Request number one
is simply be my guard,
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I need a guard, be my guard.
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So verse 1 says,
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Psalm of David,
Yahweh is my shepherd,
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I will not lack anything.
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And most people are
familiar with that being
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"The Lord is my
shepherd, I shall not want."
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I shall not want.
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But it's
basically a more modern way
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of saying the same thing,
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Yahweh, the name
for God is my shepherd,
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I shall not lack for anything.
I will not lack for anything.
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So if He is going to be my God,
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He is going to provide
every single thing I need.
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So we could say, you
know, be our shepherd.
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Please, Lord, I need a shepherd.
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You know we are described
as the sheep of His pasture,
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His lambs.
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That's a
beautiful picture, isn't it,
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when you see the
sheep dotting the hillside.
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And the shepherd
is watching over you.
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However, you
know, I am a city boy
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but I've traveled
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and I've talked to
shepherds in the United States,
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shepherds in South Africa,
New Zealand and Australia
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and they tell me
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that even though
they love their sheep
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that they are
the dumbest animals
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on the face of the planet.
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And that they need
constant care and attention
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or they will perish.
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So when the Lord
calls you His sheep,
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it may not be
really a compliment.
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I don't really want
to be known as a sheep.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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But then again it is true.
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I am in constant
need of God or I perish.
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That's right.
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I cannot save
myself, I cannot feed myself,
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I cannot do anything for myself,
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I need a shepherd.
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I need a shepherd.
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And the beauty is this
says the Lord is my shepherd.
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Yes.
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I will not want, I
will not need anything.
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Not gonna lack for
anything good in my life,
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He is gonna provide it all.
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Even though, I
may be a total mess,
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I don't know where I am going,
I don't know what I am doing,
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He still loves me and
holds me close as His sheep.
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How wonderful is that?
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So that's the first
prayer to pray for ourselves
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and may be for my spouse
would be my spouse's shepherd,
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be Gayle's God, be her shepherd,
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be close to her today.
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You know, I think that's
a beautiful thing to pray
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on your own for your spouse.
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You know to say,
00:10:08.30\00:10:09.64
they don't even know
I'm praying this Lord.
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He needs a shepherd today.
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The second petition is
found in verse 2 and it says,
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"He makes me lie
down in green pastures,
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he leads me
beside quiet waters."
00:10:17.95\00:10:19.98
Basically this is
a prayer for rest.
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To lie down in green pastures.
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Sheep will not lie down
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if there are four
things in their lives.
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These four things
have to all be absent
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for them to lie down.
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The first is fear.
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If they are fearful,
they will not lie down.
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if they're afraid that
there is an enemy close by,
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a predator, they
will not lie down.
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How true is that
of us in life? Yeah.
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You know, when you are fearful,
you can't sleep at night.
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There are thing that are
running through your mind,
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there are worries.
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So I might pray for
you, Lord, give him rest.
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Let him lie down,
don't let him be afraid.
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Don't let him worry
about finance system,
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don't let him worry
about the next appointment
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coming up with the travel
or anything else, let him rest.
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Give my spouse rest,
and flies must be absent.
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I used to preach this as
flees but shepherds tell me
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that, that
sheep do not get flees
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but flies bug them like crazy.
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That's a pesky thing
that just won't go away.
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Right, right.
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So, Lord, rid my spouse
off those little irritations
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that are driving him or
her crazy, get rid of that.
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Another is friction.
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If indeed your aren't...
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sheep are not getting
along with each other,
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they wont lie down.
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I didn't know
sheep didn't get along,
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but they don't,
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they don't
always get along, yeah.
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You know, we don't
always get along either.
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No, we don't.
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So if I were to pray
for you, I mean pray, Lord,
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take away any
problems in relationships,
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whether it's our relationship
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or relationship outside of ours.
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Things that might be
keep Mike from resting,
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help him to rest,
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help his relationships
to be in good shape,
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help him to have
peace in that area.
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And the last thing that
has to be absent is famine.
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If sheep are
hungry, they don't lie down.
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So I guess the question is,
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is there a famine of
God's word in your life.
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Are you hungry for
God's word and if you are,
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there is no real rest.
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And of course there is no rest
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if there is
physical hunger either.
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And so we pray for
an absence of hunger
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in the life of our spouse.
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And that might
mean that you know
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that we have enough work,
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so that we have enough
money to maintain our family.
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You know that we
just have everything
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that we need to feel satisfied,
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so that we are
content in our life,
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and are able to move forward.
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Now we just hit
the first two verses
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but already we got
two major petitions,
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two major requests of God
that we make for our spouse.
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Be my spouse's guard,
be my spouse's shepherd,
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so that they want for nothing,
and give my spouse rest.
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It's nice that God
starts every day with rest.
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The evening and the
morning were the first day
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it begins with rest.
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He understands our need
for that as well, doesn't He?
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Oh, and how much we need rest.
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This world just keeps
us in chaos all the time
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but to think that we can rest.
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We gonna pause
our prayer right now.
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We'll complete it
when we come back.
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We'll be back in just a moment.
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