Welcome to Marriage In God's Hands. 00:00:30.85\00:00:34.26 I'm Alanzo Smith and this is my wife, June. 00:00:34.27\00:00:38.05 And we are a couple. 00:00:38.08\00:00:40.27 We want to talk to you today on, The Ambitious Request. 00:00:40.30\00:00:47.30 June, there's a story in the Bible that I'd like to use to 00:00:48.59\00:00:52.89 chronicle our discussion. 00:00:52.90\00:00:55.17 It's about this mother, Salome, who took her two sons to Jesus 00:00:55.20\00:01:01.35 and she made a request. 00:01:01.38\00:01:02.91 She said, "Grant that these, my two sons, may sit 00:01:02.94\00:01:07.84 one on the right hand, the other on the left, 00:01:07.87\00:01:11.10 in thy kingdom. " 00:01:11.11\00:01:12.62 That story is found in Matthew 20. 00:01:12.63\00:01:14.86 My question to you is, was this mother a selfish mother? 00:01:14.89\00:01:19.87 The quest that she went to Jesus and made, was she selfish? 00:01:19.90\00:01:23.68 I think not. 00:01:23.71\00:01:25.26 I think, in fact, she implied she only wanted 00:01:25.29\00:01:29.45 the best for her children. 00:01:29.48\00:01:30.95 Of course, she wasn't saying no one else should sit on 00:01:30.98\00:01:35.24 either side of Jesus. 00:01:35.27\00:01:36.82 But she wanted to ensure that her children 00:01:36.85\00:01:40.04 were in His presence. 00:01:40.07\00:01:41.06 Powerful. 00:01:41.09\00:01:42.26 So indeed, we say it's an ambitious request, 00:01:42.29\00:01:45.40 but it's a request that all parents should make and 00:01:45.43\00:01:49.84 should seek to make. 00:01:49.85\00:01:51.39 You see, if you notice, Salome did not ask, she did not say, 00:01:51.42\00:01:57.11 "Grant that my sons be given good wives, 00:01:57.14\00:02:00.72 or grant that they have a good education or a good job. " 00:02:00.75\00:02:05.41 As important as those factors are in the lives of a youngster, 00:02:05.44\00:02:09.69 this mother requested a best thing; she wanted 00:02:09.72\00:02:14.72 her sons to have Jesus. 00:02:14.75\00:02:17.13 She should be commended. 00:02:17.16\00:02:18.37 She should be. 00:02:18.40\00:02:19.60 You know, I watch many parents who sit with their children 00:02:19.61\00:02:24.00 in church or who's children are wondering around without 00:02:24.03\00:02:30.07 a relationship with church. 00:02:30.08\00:02:32.46 And you have to wonder whether the parents, whose children are 00:02:32.49\00:02:36.52 not engaged in some spiritual activity, are aware 00:02:36.55\00:02:39.78 of how important it is to introduce Christ to their child. 00:02:39.79\00:02:43.81 So like Salome, parents should want the best 00:02:43.84\00:02:49.47 for their children. 00:02:49.48\00:02:50.89 What would you consider some of the things 00:02:50.92\00:02:54.65 that a parent should really want? 00:02:54.68\00:02:57.45 I think the "best" means the best of everything 00:02:58.03\00:03:00.67 in all dimensions of their life. 00:03:00.70\00:03:02.40 So I would say most parents want their children to excel. 00:03:02.43\00:03:06.11 They want them to do well in school, they want them to 00:03:06.14\00:03:08.41 perform to the level of competences so they can become 00:03:08.44\00:03:11.88 efficient and capable people and take 00:03:11.91\00:03:15.57 their right place in society. 00:03:15.60\00:03:17.54 So they want good grades so they can qualify for the 00:03:17.57\00:03:19.95 best schools, get good scholarships, and all the 00:03:19.98\00:03:22.44 good things that come with that. 00:03:22.47\00:03:23.74 They also... 00:03:23.77\00:03:25.59 So nothing is wrong then for a parent to pray and ask God 00:03:25.62\00:03:29.42 to make their child or children socially fit and physically fit. 00:03:29.45\00:03:33.92 Nothing is wrong in asking for those things? 00:03:33.95\00:03:35.45 Those are good requests. 00:03:35.48\00:03:36.50 All of us would like for our children to be healthy, 00:03:36.51\00:03:39.48 to be well, to certainly be balanced socially. 00:03:39.51\00:03:44.82 So your child might be doing very well academically, 00:03:44.85\00:03:47.75 and even physically, but may not be socially balanced. 00:03:47.78\00:03:51.43 So they're isolates, they have no friends, 00:03:51.46\00:03:54.03 and they lock themselves away, etcetera. 00:03:54.06\00:03:56.29 So, no, you want your children to be balanced 00:03:56.32\00:03:58.70 on all these dimensions. 00:03:58.73\00:04:00.10 But above all, we're saying that among the requests that you 00:04:00.13\00:04:04.45 ask of God for your children, you should ask for them 00:04:04.48\00:04:08.49 to be spiritually grounded. 00:04:08.50\00:04:11.27 Because that's the key factor in their development. 00:04:11.28\00:04:15.30 Ellen White talks about restoring the image of God 00:04:15.60\00:04:20.41 in the minds of our children as one of the primary 00:04:20.42\00:04:23.41 responsibilities of education, and certainly of the home 00:04:23.44\00:04:26.90 where education begins. 00:04:26.93\00:04:28.56 So, yes, it should be every parents desire to make sure that 00:04:28.57\00:04:32.67 their child knows about Christ, understands what He 00:04:32.70\00:04:36.35 asks of them, understands the Biblical principles that 00:04:36.38\00:04:39.23 govern their life, and make sure that they are 00:04:39.26\00:04:41.36 following His footsteps. 00:04:41.39\00:04:43.12 One of the problems we have is that sometimes children 00:04:43.15\00:04:49.01 are with parents who are not setting a good example. 00:04:49.04\00:04:55.89 They live a certain way that does not model for their 00:04:55.92\00:05:00.32 youngster what true living should be. 00:05:00.35\00:05:04.07 For example, this young lady told me, and she was just 00:05:04.08\00:05:08.46 sixteen and she said to me, "When my mom goes to buy 00:05:08.49\00:05:13.67 her pills, she buys enough for both of us. " 00:05:13.70\00:05:18.21 Isn't that a sad story, a sad tale? 00:05:19.23\00:05:21.47 Unfortunately, some children learn bad habits 00:05:22.18\00:05:24.59 from their own parents. 00:05:24.62\00:05:25.92 And how tragic. 00:05:25.95\00:05:27.37 Because if there's one place you should be safe, 00:05:27.40\00:05:29.78 it should be with your own parents. 00:05:29.81\00:05:31.77 But as we know, there are dysfunctional families 00:05:31.80\00:05:34.49 and people who didn't learn how to be well themselves or 00:05:34.52\00:05:38.92 to behave in appropriate ways, and end up being parents, 00:05:38.95\00:05:42.66 then they're not going to have those values 00:05:42.67\00:05:44.41 to pass on to their children. 00:05:44.44\00:05:45.81 So we're encouraging parents to seek out the correct information 00:05:45.84\00:05:51.16 that will help you and equip you to be able to train your child 00:05:51.19\00:05:55.24 and to model for your child what is appropriate behavior. 00:05:55.27\00:05:58.39 Another parent said, "I think my son is using marijuana. " 00:05:59.71\00:06:08.50 So when the question was asked, "Why would you think 00:06:08.51\00:06:12.04 such a thing?" her response was, "Because I am missing 00:06:12.05\00:06:16.60 some of my marijuana. " 00:06:16.63\00:06:18.50 Now you see what's happening there. 00:06:19.13\00:06:20.75 She would like her son not to use marijuana, 00:06:20.78\00:06:24.40 but she is using marijuana. 00:06:24.43\00:06:26.84 "Do as I say, but not as I do. " 00:06:26.87\00:06:29.69 That would be the adage that would apply. 00:06:29.72\00:06:31.84 That's an unfortunate thing. 00:06:31.85\00:06:33.39 Drug use in any form is destructive. 00:06:33.42\00:06:36.09 But to introduce your child to marijuana is unthinkable. 00:06:36.12\00:06:40.04 Now let's talk a little about marijuana and marijuana use 00:06:40.05\00:06:45.14 because this is happening prevalently in the society. 00:06:45.17\00:06:51.35 All classes, all levels. Just about everywhere. 00:06:51.38\00:06:54.88 I was so surprised recently to learn that as early as the 00:06:54.91\00:06:59.71 elementary school in some cities, you have little children 00:06:59.74\00:07:04.57 who literally are compensated to target their friends. 00:07:04.60\00:07:09.54 And they're paid and they take supply to their friends 00:07:09.57\00:07:15.74 and literally teach them how to use this. 00:07:15.77\00:07:18.70 And that becomes an underground market for people who 00:07:18.73\00:07:22.66 push drugs on children. 00:07:22.69\00:07:24.25 You know, as you say that, I have counseled and worked with 00:07:24.45\00:07:29.97 a lot of youngsters who are using or have used marijuana. 00:07:30.00\00:07:36.22 And I would say, June, about 80% to 85% of the cases, 00:07:36.69\00:07:43.40 these individuals declare that it was their friend 00:07:43.43\00:07:47.55 who introduced them to marijuana use. 00:07:47.58\00:07:50.71 As you can well imagine, peers have an influence on each other. 00:07:51.61\00:07:55.41 So if my friend is doing something, I am likely to be 00:07:55.42\00:07:59.42 drawn to that behavior. 00:07:59.45\00:08:00.72 Because they're likely to convince me of whatever 00:08:00.75\00:08:03.29 benefit there is to them. 00:08:03.32\00:08:04.58 So we need to have a counter argument where somebody else 00:08:04.61\00:08:09.56 is helping this child learn what is acceptable and 00:08:09.59\00:08:12.39 appropriate behavior. 00:08:12.40\00:08:13.45 It is said that in the United States of America, 00:08:13.48\00:08:16.59 marijuana is the most frequently used illegal drug. 00:08:16.62\00:08:23.40 That is sad. 00:08:24.29\00:08:25.32 Think about a young child putting that substance or 00:08:25.35\00:08:31.04 taking that substance as a source of 00:08:31.07\00:08:34.93 whatever it is that it does with them, a high that they get 00:08:34.96\00:08:37.28 from it or whatever it is that they claim they get. 00:08:37.31\00:08:40.01 It's just a very destructive thing for a child to start with. 00:08:40.04\00:08:42.83 In fact, it is said that marijuana use is 00:08:42.86\00:08:45.82 called a "gateway drug", which means it opens the door 00:08:45.85\00:08:49.96 for other hard core drugs. 00:08:49.99\00:08:52.42 And most young people who start using marijuana 00:08:52.45\00:08:56.26 will go on to harder drugs. 00:08:56.29\00:08:59.01 And the funny thing about it is that since 1991, 00:08:59.04\00:09:02.52 among 8th graders and 9th graders, 00:09:02.55\00:09:05.94 the use of marijuana has steadily increased. 00:09:05.97\00:09:09.86 You know what I find surprising? 00:09:09.89\00:09:12.02 That now in the political, and even medical arena, 00:09:12.05\00:09:15.54 they're making marijuana use legal in some states. 00:09:15.55\00:09:19.75 Well we're not going to go into that, but it speaks volumes. 00:09:19.78\00:09:23.20 But you can understand when a family... 00:09:23.23\00:09:24.82 I'm going to say, here's my experience. 00:09:24.85\00:09:29.03 A youngster sat in front of me and he was using marijuana. 00:09:29.93\00:09:34.52 So we're talking, we're working through the clinical issues. 00:09:34.55\00:09:37.12 And he looked at me and he said, "But Doc, why are my parents 00:09:37.15\00:09:44.17 so concerned about my marijuana use? 00:09:44.18\00:09:47.07 All I need to do is to leave and go to a place," 00:09:47.10\00:09:49.83 and he named the state where it's legal. 00:09:49.86\00:09:51.74 So we do have some problems, and one may consider; 00:09:51.77\00:09:55.66 I know there are arguments to and from, for and against. 00:09:55.69\00:09:58.89 And we're not here getting into the debates or 00:09:58.92\00:10:00.89 entering into the debate. 00:10:00.92\00:10:02.05 We're merely mentioning that sometimes that poses a problem 00:10:02.06\00:10:06.51 for youngsters in that they feel that, because it is approved in 00:10:06.54\00:10:10.47 some places for medicinal value, etcetera, etcetera, 00:10:10.48\00:10:13.64 therefore it's not that bad, so they can use it. 00:10:13.65\00:10:16.79 That's the point we're making. 00:10:16.82\00:10:17.93 We're not entering into the debate at all. 00:10:17.96\00:10:20.21 We just wanted to make that clear. 00:10:20.24\00:10:21.70 Anyhow. 00:10:21.73\00:10:22.75 Now how can a parent tell if his or her child 00:10:22.78\00:10:30.18 is using marijuana? 00:10:30.21\00:10:31.75 Or can they tell at all? 00:10:31.78\00:10:33.07 Is there anything, any sign? 00:10:33.10\00:10:34.50 There are so many signs. 00:10:35.73\00:10:37.19 One of the first things that you can tell is that you will 00:10:37.22\00:10:40.31 smell the substance. 00:10:40.34\00:10:41.95 You know that this is not a cologne. 00:10:41.98\00:10:44.00 And you should know that you should follow up this cue 00:10:44.03\00:10:47.64 to find out what is going on. 00:10:47.67\00:10:49.48 Other things that you will observe are the actual 00:10:49.51\00:10:52.22 paraphernalia that the child will have access to. 00:10:52.25\00:10:54.65 Many parents will locate this in their book bags or wherever they 00:10:54.68\00:10:59.20 put their stuff. 00:10:59.23\00:11:01.06 So they will have the things that they use to wrap 00:11:01.09\00:11:05.62 the marijuana, or whatever and however they use this drug, 00:11:05.65\00:11:08.68 you will find traces of that and observe the literal resources. 00:11:08.71\00:11:14.77 And I notice also that sometimes they hang with the kind of 00:11:14.80\00:11:18.49 friends who are also marijuana users 00:11:18.52\00:11:21.33 So sometimes, parents, you need to know who your 00:11:21.36\00:11:24.86 kids are hanging out with. 00:11:24.89\00:11:26.87 And sometimes when they say they are going somewhere, 00:11:26.90\00:11:29.30 you need to take a second look, sometimes you need to check. 00:11:29.33\00:11:32.86 Because, show me your company and I'll tell you who you are. 00:11:32.89\00:11:37.26 Sometimes they hang with the wrong crowd. 00:11:37.29\00:11:40.14 If you find that you're missing large sums of money, 00:11:40.17\00:11:42.70 or any money for that matter. 00:11:42.73\00:11:44.35 If you find your child with money that you can't 00:11:44.36\00:11:47.10 account for; you didn't give it to them, 00:11:47.13\00:11:48.81 you don't know of them getting it from a legitimate source, 00:11:48.91\00:11:51.88 or they're not working, then you need to find out 00:11:51.91\00:11:54.73 why do they need money as much as they do. 00:11:54.76\00:11:57.50 Because it could be that they are purchasing some substance. 00:11:57.53\00:12:01.64 Sometimes you will see red shot eyes. 00:12:01.65\00:12:05.72 Sometimes the child has difficulty remembering things. 00:12:05.75\00:12:10.35 And sometimes they go into terrible mood swings. 00:12:10.38\00:12:13.55 These can be indicators that suggest that the child 00:12:13.58\00:12:17.83 is using marijuana. 00:12:17.86\00:12:19.54 Their eating is another indication. 00:12:19.57\00:12:21.52 Sometimes they have no appetite. 00:12:21.55\00:12:23.08 They're always full or they might be chewing gum. 00:12:23.11\00:12:26.52 They do that many times to, I guess, clean their breath or so. 00:12:26.55\00:12:32.32 A child who was doing well in school, and all of a sudden, 00:12:32.35\00:12:35.24 they start being careless about their academics. 00:12:35.27\00:12:37.48 They don't follow up on assignments, 00:12:37.49\00:12:39.14 they're not interested in school and doesn't seem to be 00:12:39.17\00:12:42.13 motivated anymore about learning. 00:12:42.16\00:12:43.66 These are all signs that there could be something going on 00:12:43.69\00:12:46.27 in the mind of this child. 00:12:46.30\00:12:47.82 There also could be fatigue, and sometimes hostility. 00:12:47.85\00:12:52.10 These are all signs. 00:12:53.00\00:12:54.31 But, you know, we have a lot more to talk about. 00:12:54.34\00:12:56.82 As a matter of fact, parents, you might be overwhelmed 00:12:56.85\00:12:59.29 because you have a son or a daughter that's using marijuana. 00:12:59.32\00:13:02.62 We want to speak to you when we get back. 00:13:02.65\00:13:04.40 We want to tell you some of the things you can do 00:13:04.43\00:13:07.25 as you relate to your child. 00:13:07.28\00:13:09.29 This is a very important topic because we're talking about 00:13:09.32\00:13:12.20 the minds of young people. 00:13:12.21\00:13:13.84 We do not want to lose them, we do not want to 00:13:13.87\00:13:16.20 see them destroyed. 00:13:16.23\00:13:17.34 So, parents, we're going to do our best to see 00:13:17.37\00:13:19.59 how we can help you. 00:13:19.60\00:13:20.93 And young people, we're appealing to you. 00:13:20.96\00:13:23.21 Remember, marijuana is destructive 00:13:23.24\00:13:26.17 in all forms, in every shape, to your mind. 00:13:26.20\00:13:28.99 Stay away from it. 00:13:29.02\00:13:30.14 There are many "How To" books available, 00:13:38.65\00:13:40.87 but there's one that's free and perfect for every couple. 00:13:40.90\00:13:43.99 "How You Can Build A Better Marriage" 00:13:44.02\00:13:46.44 Bible-based matrimonial advice is given in a light-hearted 00:13:46.47\00:13:50.44 easy to read manner for those contemplating marriage, 00:13:50.47\00:13:53.22 newlyweds, couples in their golden years, 00:13:53.25\00:13:56.15 and everyone in between. 00:13:56.18\00:13:57.58 Simply call or write for your free copy. 00:13:57.61\00:14:00.17 Welcome back to Marriage In God's Hands. 00:14:11.26\00:14:14.14 Today we're talking about, Ambitious Desire. 00:14:14.17\00:14:18.45 You see, there is a story in the Bible that chronicles the 00:14:18.48\00:14:23.10 experience of a mother who requested that her two sons 00:14:23.13\00:14:27.83 should sit on either side of Jesus. 00:14:27.86\00:14:30.93 Unfortunately, not all parents have this desire 00:14:30.96\00:14:34.74 for their children. 00:14:34.77\00:14:35.79 So we are here to talk about some of the challenges 00:14:35.82\00:14:39.90 that other families have. 00:14:39.93\00:14:41.74 We have identified many of the problems, 00:14:41.77\00:14:45.01 and the number one that we highlighted was the 00:14:45.04\00:14:49.95 use of marijuana. 00:14:49.98\00:14:51.58 We showed the perplexity, the magnitude of the problem. 00:14:51.61\00:14:56.25 And so we asked the question before the break, 00:14:56.28\00:14:58.61 what can parents do. 00:14:58.64\00:15:00.39 And that's what we would like to share with you at this moment. 00:15:00.40\00:15:03.23 Parents listening to us there, they know their son or 00:15:03.26\00:15:06.43 their daughter is using marijuana. 00:15:06.46\00:15:08.77 Are they helpless or is there something that they can do? 00:15:08.80\00:15:11.87 Unfortunately, some parents feel helpless. 00:15:12.35\00:15:14.92 The last thing you want your child to do is to be involved 00:15:14.95\00:15:17.86 with drugs of any sort. 00:15:17.89\00:15:20.07 But if you find that your child is using or hanging with people 00:15:20.08\00:15:25.30 who use drugs, don't give up or don't sit dormant. 00:15:25.33\00:15:29.88 You need to be proactive and get your child into therapy. 00:15:29.91\00:15:34.22 While you do what you have power to do as a parent, 00:15:34.25\00:15:39.91 to monitor the child's life, to supervise every move they make, 00:15:39.94\00:15:44.86 to make sure you're regulating their access to cash, to money, 00:15:44.87\00:15:49.39 that they will use to purchase the drug, etcetera. 00:15:49.42\00:15:52.04 So you put whatever control you have in place while you 00:15:52.07\00:15:56.25 reach out and get the child treatment. 00:15:56.28\00:15:58.41 Now if your child has gone beyond the point of which 00:15:58.44\00:16:01.80 talking alone will help to deter them, 00:16:01.83\00:16:05.96 then you might need to get them into even detox 00:16:05.99\00:16:08.76 to get the substance out of their blood stream. 00:16:08.79\00:16:11.49 But you cannot not do anything. 00:16:11.52\00:16:14.56 Talking to your child about marijuana and marijuana use 00:16:14.57\00:16:19.76 is important. 00:16:19.79\00:16:21.29 You may have to do some research yourself. 00:16:21.32\00:16:23.99 You should have a little knowledge about the drug. 00:16:24.02\00:16:26.98 But you should take the time to talk to them and help them 00:16:27.01\00:16:30.92 to understand the danger of marijuana. 00:16:30.95\00:16:34.17 This is very important. 00:16:34.20\00:16:35.43 I also believe that a parent should remain active 00:16:35.46\00:16:40.00 in the life of their children. 00:16:40.03\00:16:41.29 You know, parents, sometimes you take things for granted. 00:16:41.32\00:16:44.46 You just assume that everything is going well with your child 00:16:44.49\00:16:49.76 and you leave them up to do their own thing. 00:16:49.79\00:16:52.01 And sometimes you just need to visit their room, 00:16:52.04\00:16:55.41 sit on their bed and just start talking with them. 00:16:55.42\00:16:58.38 And you would be amazed how they will open up. 00:16:58.41\00:17:01.99 And sometimes by not opening up, you can sense that something 00:17:02.02\00:17:05.89 is wrong, and it gives you an opportunity to 00:17:05.92\00:17:08.18 continue to explore. 00:17:08.21\00:17:09.44 You know, that's a very good point, Alanzo. 00:17:09.47\00:17:11.21 Because sometimes we see, or we tend to think, 00:17:11.24\00:17:14.68 that there are "bad children" who take drugs, 00:17:14.71\00:17:18.78 or children with bad behavior, and they're defiant children. 00:17:18.81\00:17:22.34 But it's not so. 00:17:22.37\00:17:23.71 Even children who are doing very well in school, 00:17:23.72\00:17:27.08 children who you would never expect to be involved 00:17:27.11\00:17:31.19 in something like this. 00:17:31.22\00:17:32.24 If they are surrounded by friends who do, 00:17:32.27\00:17:34.70 they're just as vulnerable. 00:17:34.73\00:17:36.32 So, yes, it is critical that parents spend quality time 00:17:36.35\00:17:40.60 with their child and they know exactly what's going on 00:17:40.63\00:17:43.64 in the world of that child. 00:17:43.67\00:17:45.74 And you should get your child into meaningful 00:17:45.77\00:17:50.30 and productive activities. 00:17:50.33\00:17:52.97 Sometimes children have too much time on their hands. 00:17:53.00\00:17:56.94 Too much time to be idle, too much time just to be 00:17:56.97\00:18:01.49 doing foolish things. 00:18:01.52\00:18:02.73 They come home from school at any time, any hour. 00:18:02.76\00:18:07.21 They spend all these hours with their friends or somewhere else 00:18:07.24\00:18:11.14 and you have no clue as to where they are. 00:18:11.17\00:18:14.10 It is suggesting that the boundaries have been blurred 00:18:14.13\00:18:17.29 and the structures are not there in the family. 00:18:17.30\00:18:20.18 You need to help restructure your child's life 00:18:20.21\00:18:24.54 and take away some of the free time. 00:18:24.57\00:18:26.81 Let the child get a part-time job, go to the library and 00:18:26.84\00:18:30.11 do some research, get them involved in some sports, 00:18:30.14\00:18:33.81 activity, or something else. 00:18:33.91\00:18:35.81 Use up the time wisely with your child. 00:18:36.51\00:18:39.48 Don't give them so much free time on their hands. 00:18:39.51\00:18:42.00 Setting high standards and verbalizing it to the child. 00:18:42.59\00:18:47.21 So you need to help your child know, "I expect much from you. 00:18:47.24\00:18:51.93 I know you're capable and able. 00:18:51.96\00:18:54.94 And B's and C's and D's will not be enough. 00:18:54.95\00:18:59.49 You're capable of making better grades, 00:18:59.52\00:19:01.67 then you should produce that. " 00:19:01.70\00:19:03.80 So get your child to know that it's not enough to just 00:19:03.83\00:19:07.40 fool around, as it were, and go through life aimlessly. 00:19:07.43\00:19:12.07 But make them know the sky is the limit. 00:19:12.10\00:19:15.62 You expect that they will achieve to their 00:19:15.65\00:19:18.13 highest potential, whatever that is. 00:19:18.16\00:19:20.86 And support them to do that. 00:19:20.89\00:19:24.04 We have said it many times before, but it needs 00:19:24.07\00:19:28.27 to be repeated again. 00:19:28.30\00:19:29.54 Parents should never show favoritism. 00:19:29.57\00:19:33.10 We look at the story of Jacob and Esau where their parents 00:19:33.11\00:19:38.86 showed extreme favoritism to both sons and we see 00:19:38.89\00:19:43.61 the complications that created. 00:19:43.64\00:19:47.50 We're saying, parents, that sometimes a child will go off 00:19:47.53\00:19:52.25 in the deep end, sometimes the child will move in the area of 00:19:52.28\00:19:55.57 drugs and the wrong company and the wrong friends 00:19:55.60\00:19:58.60 simply because they feel excluded or not cared for 00:19:58.63\00:20:03.04 or loved enough. 00:20:03.07\00:20:04.20 If you show favoritism, it may be going well with the 00:20:04.23\00:20:07.81 favorite son or the favorite daughter, 00:20:07.84\00:20:10.10 but what about the next one? 00:20:10.13\00:20:11.43 Are you pushing them in the wrong direction? 00:20:11.46\00:20:14.35 Talking about children making mistakes, 00:20:14.38\00:20:16.58 there are times when they will make poor judgment. 00:20:16.61\00:20:19.26 They're not perfect, they're not even very wise, although 00:20:19.29\00:20:22.51 they think they are. 00:20:22.54\00:20:23.51 So be willing to redeem them, be willing to restore them. 00:20:23.54\00:20:28.06 If your child made a mistake, don't throw them under the bus. 00:20:28.09\00:20:31.71 Speak with them, re-establish the rules, and give them 00:20:31.74\00:20:36.50 all the support you can to get them back on track. 00:20:36.51\00:20:39.49 And by God's grace, they're capable of being redeemed. 00:20:39.52\00:20:43.32 Of course, you know you must pray for your children. 00:20:43.35\00:20:46.96 The family that prays together stays together. 00:20:46.99\00:20:50.64 Parents, there's power in prayer. 00:20:50.67\00:20:53.62 And I know you're saying, "But Pastor, I have prayed. " 00:20:53.63\00:20:56.11 I know you said to your elders, "I have prayed," and you have 00:20:56.14\00:20:59.25 asked others to pray for you. 00:20:59.28\00:21:00.88 But you can't give up. 00:21:00.91\00:21:01.95 It was Jesus who gave us the story of the unfortunate woman. 00:21:01.98\00:21:05.28 And He said in that story, "men ought always to pray 00:21:05.31\00:21:09.86 and not to faint. " 00:21:09.89\00:21:10.94 So as a parent, you can't afford to faint. 00:21:10.97\00:21:12.98 You have to keep praying, and keep praying. 00:21:13.01\00:21:15.66 But you know, as we look at all of these truancy behaviors and 00:21:15.67\00:21:20.45 the dynamics of what's going on with young people, 00:21:20.48\00:21:23.09 it seems to me that we can see how important 00:21:23.12\00:21:26.87 Salome's request was. 00:21:26.88\00:21:29.35 And that's why we call it an ambitious request. 00:21:29.38\00:21:31.61 Because here was she wanting the best for her children. 00:21:31.64\00:21:36.79 These days, you find parents, and nothing is wrong with that, 00:21:36.82\00:21:40.12 they want their children to become nurses and teachers 00:21:40.15\00:21:44.59 and lawyers and engineers and doctors and all of these. 00:21:44.62\00:21:48.83 And that's important. 00:21:48.86\00:21:49.90 And parents will go at length to help their children 00:21:49.93\00:21:53.47 get into these professions. 00:21:53.50\00:21:54.98 And that beautiful, that's commendable, parents. 00:21:55.01\00:21:57.69 But again, we must ask you the question. 00:21:57.72\00:21:59.81 Do you have the same desire and do you work just as hard 00:21:59.84\00:22:03.62 to see them making wise decisions about their 00:22:03.65\00:22:06.96 spirituality and their soul salvation? 00:22:06.99\00:22:09.55 You know, I think this is a good place to talk about 00:22:09.56\00:22:11.87 the need for Christian education in Christian families. 00:22:11.88\00:22:16.35 If you have your children feeding on a diet that is 00:22:16.38\00:22:19.92 going to create an appetite for unspiritual things, 00:22:19.95\00:22:23.47 then what's that about? 00:22:23.50\00:22:25.76 So I think it is one of the best things that parents can do, 00:22:25.79\00:22:29.61 to send your children, especially in the young 00:22:29.64\00:22:31.73 formative years of their life, to Christian schools 00:22:31.74\00:22:34.76 where their character is molded, where their minds are inspired, 00:22:34.79\00:22:38.78 and where their role models emanate the life of Christ. 00:22:38.81\00:22:42.13 And this way, you insulate your child against some of the 00:22:42.14\00:22:46.03 harm that they're exposed to in some other systems. 00:22:46.04\00:22:49.37 You can tell she's a product of Christian education. 00:22:49.38\00:22:52.72 And proud of it. 00:22:52.75\00:22:53.82 Well, thank God we both are. 00:22:53.85\00:22:55.88 The story is told of a father who heard his daughter cry out, 00:22:55.91\00:23:01.96 "Daddy, daddy, come quickly. 00:23:01.99\00:23:03.80 Stop this big cat from licking my face. " 00:23:03.83\00:23:09.25 So the father dashed to the room, but to his horror, 00:23:09.28\00:23:13.77 it was not a big cat. 00:23:13.78\00:23:14.88 It was a tiger that was licking his child's face. 00:23:14.91\00:23:17.98 He went back, got his gun, aimed, fired, shot the tiger. 00:23:18.01\00:23:22.51 It jumped through the window, collapsed in a pool of blood 00:23:22.54\00:23:26.77 on the outside. 00:23:26.78\00:23:27.78 Later on, they discovered that the tiger had escaped 00:23:27.81\00:23:31.26 from a nearby woods. 00:23:31.27\00:23:33.73 But the point I want to make, June, is this. 00:23:33.76\00:23:36.07 It must have been a terrible and a horrifying experience, 00:23:36.10\00:23:41.56 for any father, and for that father to see a tiger 00:23:41.59\00:23:45.82 licking his child's face. 00:23:45.83\00:23:49.00 It ought to be frightening. 00:23:49.03\00:23:51.28 I couldn't even imagine what I would do. 00:23:51.31\00:23:53.50 But the reality is, there are so many other things, 00:23:53.72\00:23:56.34 if you think about it, that your child, or a child is exposed to 00:23:56.37\00:24:00.18 that could be just as dangerous as a tiger attacking a child. 00:24:00.21\00:24:05.31 I can think of, for example, the porn industry 00:24:05.34\00:24:09.61 and the impact that has had on young people. 00:24:09.62\00:24:13.31 I'm so appalled to see that there are predators 00:24:13.91\00:24:19.24 so available and so accessible to our children. 00:24:19.27\00:24:24.22 And yet many parents are not even aware 00:24:24.23\00:24:27.70 that these things happen. 00:24:27.73\00:24:29.06 And we should give a word of caution to you young people. 00:24:29.07\00:24:33.35 Because sometimes you make the mistake of giving out 00:24:33.38\00:24:37.23 personal information over the internet. 00:24:37.26\00:24:40.57 You say to yourself, you're in a teen chat room 00:24:40.60\00:24:44.08 and the next person you're talking to is a teen. 00:24:44.11\00:24:47.34 Not at all. Not at all. 00:24:47.37\00:24:49.79 We have seen and heard of countless stories of adults, 00:24:49.82\00:24:55.33 predators, who go in these teen chat rooms only trying to 00:24:55.36\00:24:59.69 solicit sexual favors and to learn your way. 00:24:59.72\00:25:03.09 As a matter of fact, we have heard of cases where 00:25:03.12\00:25:05.73 youngsters have lost their lives because they went away with 00:25:05.76\00:25:09.10 someone they thought was their age group in a chat room. 00:25:09.13\00:25:12.95 So we want our children to be aware that you should never ever 00:25:12.98\00:25:17.32 give your personal contact information to anyone 00:25:17.35\00:25:20.79 you don't know. 00:25:20.82\00:25:22.02 It doesn't matter how much time you have spent 00:25:22.05\00:25:25.10 communicating with them and how they make you think 00:25:25.13\00:25:28.02 that they're safe and they're your friend and 00:25:28.05\00:25:30.21 they are who they say they are. 00:25:30.22\00:25:32.31 You don't know who these people are. 00:25:32.32\00:25:34.87 Stay away from those internet sites. 00:25:34.90\00:25:37.80 So we're saying there are some serious things that are 00:25:37.83\00:25:40.24 out there that are even worse than that of a tiger 00:25:40.27\00:25:43.86 licking a child's face. 00:25:43.89\00:25:45.36 We talked about the pornography and the internet use and 00:25:45.39\00:25:48.79 what it's doing to children. 00:25:48.80\00:25:50.56 We also have to talk about things like teen pregnancy. 00:25:50.59\00:25:55.63 You know, there's a strange statistic that is out there. 00:25:55.66\00:26:00.79 They say that teen pregnancy is on the decline. 00:26:00.82\00:26:05.42 But the correlation to that is that sexually transmitted 00:26:05.43\00:26:11.46 diseases, STD's, are on the rise. 00:26:11.47\00:26:14.91 So you see, it's not that youngsters are not more active 00:26:14.94\00:26:20.14 in sexual activity. 00:26:20.17\00:26:21.43 It's just that they are protecting themselves, 00:26:21.46\00:26:24.41 but they are still getting inflicted or infected 00:26:24.44\00:26:28.51 with these STD's. 00:26:28.54\00:26:30.55 That is such a myth, and yes, so many young people 00:26:30.58\00:26:33.21 are caught up with this. 00:26:33.22\00:26:34.33 I spoke to a young woman just recent who had never had 00:26:34.36\00:26:39.25 sex before, and she was lured by her friends to this experience. 00:26:39.28\00:26:43.67 And before you knew it, she found herself with an STD. 00:26:43.70\00:26:47.95 And she is devastated. 00:26:47.98\00:26:49.84 This is an STD that she will have for the rest of her life. 00:26:49.85\00:26:53.57 So we warn young people to stay away from those experiences 00:26:53.60\00:26:57.55 and follow God's instruction. 00:26:57.58\00:26:59.28 Abstain from sex before you're in a committed relationship 00:26:59.31\00:27:02.78 with your spouse. 00:27:02.79\00:27:03.79 Parents, Salome took her two boys to Jesus 00:27:04.21\00:27:08.33 and requested of Him, "Grant that these, my two sons, 00:27:08.36\00:27:14.43 may sit, one on the right hand and the other on the left, 00:27:14.46\00:27:18.60 in thine kingdom. " 00:27:18.63\00:27:20.65 We're saying, that was an ambitious request. 00:27:20.68\00:27:24.90 And that as parents, you must also make and have ambitious 00:27:24.91\00:27:28.91 requests and desires for your children. 00:27:28.94\00:27:31.92 You want to see them succeed. 00:27:31.95\00:27:33.70 You want to see them do well in school. 00:27:33.73\00:27:36.46 They have all the different things to make them happy, 00:27:36.49\00:27:39.55 but do they have Jesus? 00:27:39.58\00:27:41.65 Your son, your daughter, do they have Jesus? 00:27:41.68\00:27:44.96 Do you want the best for them? 00:27:44.99\00:27:46.70 Remember, the best is Jesus. 00:27:46.73\00:27:49.32 And you must do everything as a parent to see what you can do 00:27:49.33\00:27:53.52 to help your son, to help your daughter, 00:27:53.53\00:27:55.85 accept Jesus Christ as their Savior. 00:27:55.88\00:27:58.58 May God bless you as you try. 00:27:58.61\00:28:00.78