Welcome to
Marriage In God's Hands.
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I'm Willie Oliver,
Director of Family Ministries
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for the Seventh-day Adventist
Church in North America.
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I'm Elaine Oliver,
Willie's partner in ministry
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and a Marriage and
Family Consultant for the
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Seventh-day Adventist
Church in North America.
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We're delighted to be with you
and we're happy you joined us.
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Marriage was designed by God.
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And because it was designed by
God, it is of spiritual origin.
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Today we want to speak with you
about spirituality in marriage.
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How do we make it spiritual?
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If it's going to work it has
to, by definition, be spiritual
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since it has been
spiritually designed.
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Spirituality is probably
one of the most difficult areas
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of oneness in marriage.
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Because when it comes to
spirituality, it's such a
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personal thing for most of us.
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It's a place where we need
to feel safe and we need to feel
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that there's trust and
security in our relationship
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in order for us to share it.
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So we want to share today, a
little bit on how we can foster,
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deepen, nurture spirituality
in our relationships.
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I like the text in the
Bible found in Psalm 127:1,
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and that says:
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To be sure, if God
is not in our marriage,
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if God has not helped us
to build this relationship,
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and it's spiritual, well it
can't be spiritual without God.
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So if God is not in our marriage
and marriage is spiritual,
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we're in trouble.
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So what do we do to
make marriage spiritual?
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What kinds of things
do we have to go through?
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How do we negotiate the
whole process of doing marriage
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so it can bring
honor and glory to God?
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Because many times, people think
that marriage is about them.
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It's about my
happiness, it's about my joy.
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And we're trying to say
here today, that marriage
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is much more than that.
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Marriage is to bring
honor and glory to God.
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That is just so true.
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So many of us have
bought into this notion
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that "all we need is love. "
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And when we talk about
this "all we need is love,"
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we're again, talking about
what we're getting out of it.
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And we want to be clear
that it's not that we will not
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benefit from marriage,
but marriage truly is not a
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self-centered venture.
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It really is about the
togetherness, the oneness,
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about serving God,
about honoring God.
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And glorifying God in
the way we treat one another.
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And the way we can do this is
by deepening our understanding
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of what it means to
be spiritual in marriage.
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So this whole notion
of "all we need is love"
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is somewhat false.
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We all grew up,
especially as young women,
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we grew up wanting
this passionate love.
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We see it on TV or we
read about it in books,
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and we desire
this for ourselves.
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But true love is definitely
not a love that can forego
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food and shelter and all
the other necessities of life.
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Because that kind of love
is not going to sustain us
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in our challenging times.
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When I hear the
words, "all we need is love,"
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I think back to the
early sixties when the Beatles
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landed in the United
States and their big song was
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"All We Need Is Love",
well I usually say to people
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the Beatles lied to us.
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Because we need
much more than love.
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And the love they're singing
about was this sentimentalism,
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this erotic love,
this passionate love
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that has nothing to
do with the love of God,
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with what is lasting.
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And truly, couples who
are so in love who think that
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they don't need anything but
love, will find out very quickly
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that if you can't pay your rent,
the fact that you're in love
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is not going to impress anyone.
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If you are in love, that
certainly can't buy food.
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So, we need much more than love.
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Certainly much more
than passionate love.
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We need the love
that is a principle,
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the love that goes
beyond just feeling.
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Absolutely.
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And that's very clearly
delineated in 1 Cor. 13:4-8.
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So here again, Elaine,
we're talking about love
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as a principle, the love of God.
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The only kind of love that
will endure the test of time
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is the love of
God, is the agape love.
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When we look at the
New Testament and we see
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what Christ did for
humankind, that He died,
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that is a love
that is unconditional.
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That is a love that
comes from a pure place
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where it's not about what you're
getting but what you're giving.
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And so we see here that
the word "agape" is exclusive
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to the New Testament.
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Well, it's a Greek
word but you don't find it
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in classical Greek literature.
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It's in the New Testament.
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To be sure, there
are other words for love,
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and one of those,
also Greek is "eros".
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And "eros" is the word
from which we get erotic love,
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passionate love.
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And not that passion is
not important, but certainly
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passion will fade, and passion
is not going to keep you.
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What is going to keep
you is the agape love.
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That love that is unconditional.
That love that is of God.
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And God wants
every single one of us
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who are married, if
we're going to have marriages
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that can give
honor and glory to God,
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it needs to be based
on the principle of love.
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One that never fails.
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One that is the same today,
tomorrow, and the week after.
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That is the kind of love that we
need for each of our families.
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And then of course, there is the
other word for love, "philos"
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which really means
the love of humanity,
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brotherly love, sisterly love.
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And while in marriage we also
want to have that kind of love,
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the love that we
really need is agape love.
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The love of God,
unconditional love,
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unwavering, unchanging.
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Always ready to
do the right things.
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Always ready to support,
always ready to be kind,
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to be
compassionate, to be nurturing,
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to be respectful, to
be honest, to be caring.
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That is the only
way we can make marriage
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as meaningful as
God wants it to be.
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So you're saying
then, that God is the source
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of all life and love.
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That we get the
fuel for this agape love
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through the power of God.
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The only place.
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So it is possible for us then
as human beings that are married
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to each other, to have
this agape love for one another.
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Indeed.
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So as we try to understand
the notion of spirituality
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in marriage, it's a
lot deeper than just
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going to church together.
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Well yes, lots of us are
Christians and we go to church,
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we sing, we read the
scripture at least in church,
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and we need to do
much more than that.
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We need to be
intimately connected to God.
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If we're not
intimately connected to God,
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and it's something that
needs to happen every day,
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well, something is going to
happen in this relationship,
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something is going to happen
that's going to trip us up,
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that's going to not
have us ready when something
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really big happens and we need
God's power to see us through.
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So spirituality
then, is oneness with God.
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Yes.
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And we've been
talking about oneness.
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And that's what we've
been trying to bring out
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in this series
Marriage In God's Hands,
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that God intends for us
to be one with one another.
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And one of the areas of
this oneness, this spirituality.
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What I love about what
we've been sharing so far
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is the fact that in
our understanding now
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of spirituality, we understand
that is has everything
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to do with oneness with God.
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And that our marriages
will do a whole lot better if
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we put it into God's hands, and
He will fuel that agape love.
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He will give us the power that
we need in our relationships.
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He will help us to bring
out the best in one another.
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So, if we are one with God
and we take our relationship
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with God very seriously,
if we are willing to surrender
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completely to God
each and every day,
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Paul says, "I die daily,"
then we will experience this
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oneness with God, that in
essence we can have that oneness
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with our spouse
that God intends.
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The question
that we need to ask is
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"What does it mean to be one?"
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Certainly, to be one
means to be on the same page.
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Certainly, to be one means
that we have the same values.
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Certainly, to be one
means that we're pulling
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in the same direction.
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So, if we're one with
God, it means that our lives
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are entwined with God's.
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And if our lives, individually,
are entwined with God's,
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then we know that
we are one with God.
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And every Christian,
every viable Christian
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can only remain
viable as he or she nurtures
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that relationship
with God every day.
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I noticed as we were
flying the other day,
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we were in the airport and it
was about 8:30 or 9:00 o'clock
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that morning, and
I saw people eating
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in their chairs while
waiting to board their flights.
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And they were eating.
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And I saw a woman
that was really eating
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like her life depended on it.
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And I thought to myself,
if as Christians we recognize
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the need, the absolute need
of feeding on the word of God,
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of being
nurtured by God every day,
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to be spiritually
viable, we would be doing
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exactly what
that woman was doing.
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First thing in the
morning, and Ellen White says to
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make this your first
work, commend yourself to God.
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Pay attention, make sure
you are connected to Him.
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Because you cannot
afford to live without Him.
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Here's what we also found
out, that crisis in marriage
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is a spiritual crisis.
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Why do people have
crisis in marriage?
00:12:15.50\00:12:17.34
Well, marriage
is spiritual work.
00:12:17.37\00:12:19.99
And because it's spiritual
work, unless we are engaged
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in marriage spiritually, using
the values we find in scripture,
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there's going to be a
crisis in your marriage.
00:12:32.12\00:12:35.32
Every once in a while,
sometimes more than I care
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to speak about, I find
Christians who come to me
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and their
marriages are in crisis.
00:12:45.26\00:12:47.59
Why is your marriage in crisis?
00:12:47.62\00:12:49.66
Look at yourself
and ask yourself,
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"Why is my marriage in crisis?"
00:12:52.99\00:12:54.77
I hazard a guess,
and it's not a guess,
00:12:54.80\00:12:57.10
it is actually a fact, that
if your marriage is in crisis
00:12:57.13\00:13:01.80
there's a spiritual
crisis in your life.
00:13:01.83\00:13:04.95
For a marriage to be
strong it needs to be caring,
00:13:05.25\00:13:08.65
it needs to be humble,
it needs to be forgiving,
00:13:08.68\00:13:11.28
it needs to be kind.
00:13:11.31\00:13:12.87
For marriages to be strong
they need to be spiritual.
00:13:12.90\00:13:16.55
And so, as we become more
spiritual and connected to God,
00:13:16.58\00:13:20.96
our marriages become
what He wants it to be.
00:13:20.99\00:13:23.85
Please stand by for a few
moments and we'll be right back.
00:13:23.88\00:13:27.54
There are many "How
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But there's one that's free
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Call or write for your copy.
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Welcome back.
00:14:10.30\00:14:11.50
We've been speaking
about spirituality in marriage.
00:14:11.53\00:14:14.24
And just to sort of
review a little bit of what
00:14:14.27\00:14:16.46
we've been talking about,
we've been talking about the
00:14:16.49\00:14:19.02
fact that spirituality
equals oneness with God.
00:14:19.05\00:14:22.64
So when we talk
about spirituality,
00:14:22.67\00:14:24.80
we're talking about
our relationship with God.
00:14:24.83\00:14:28.03
It's not
something that we put on.
00:14:28.06\00:14:29.97
It's not just
about going to church.
00:14:30.00\00:14:32.08
It's not just
about reading the Bible.
00:14:32.11\00:14:33.78
But it's understanding
God's concept of oneness.
00:14:33.81\00:14:38.05
Now keep in mind
that as we explore
00:14:38.08\00:14:40.59
God's plan for
intimacy in marriage,
00:14:40.62\00:14:43.77
He's given us the marriage
relationship to most closely
00:14:43.80\00:14:48.51
understand what He means
when He's talking about oneness
00:14:48.54\00:14:52.02
in marriage.
00:14:52.05\00:14:53.30
I think that makes it so
much more profound for us,
00:14:53.33\00:14:56.41
those of us who've been
given the gift of marriage.
00:14:56.44\00:14:59.44
How important it is for us
to nurture this relationship
00:14:59.74\00:15:03.07
if we are to really understand
what God says, what He means
00:15:03.10\00:15:08.26
when He talks
about oneness with Him.
00:15:08.29\00:15:10.62
So what is the
spiritual crisis, we ask?
00:15:11.31\00:15:12.95
What is this spiritual crisis?
00:15:12.98\00:15:14.48
Because we said
that crisis in marriage
00:15:14.51\00:15:17.04
is a spiritual crisis.
00:15:17.07\00:15:18.27
Well, a spiritual crisis
is that the first one is time.
00:15:18.30\00:15:23.27
We don't spend
enough time with God.
00:15:23.30\00:15:25.99
We have been so busy, we have
been caught up in the rat race.
00:15:26.02\00:15:33.37
Out working, going to school,
00:15:33.40\00:15:35.95
not taking the time to
begin the day with God.
00:15:35.98\00:15:39.66
Not reading our scriptures.
00:15:39.69\00:15:41.63
Watching too much TV, stuff
that we shouldn't be watching.
00:15:41.66\00:15:46.77
Reading other secular books that
are really not important and
00:15:46.80\00:15:50.36
really are not
building up our relationship.
00:15:50.39\00:15:52.37
So, the spiritual
crisis is the issue of time
00:15:52.40\00:15:57.46
and how we use time.
00:15:57.49\00:15:58.80
Because unless we
use time to nurture
00:15:58.83\00:16:02.05
our relationship with God,
it's just not going to happen.
00:16:02.08\00:16:06.21
We've got to put the
time in for our relationship
00:16:06.24\00:16:08.85
to be at an optimum.
00:16:08.88\00:16:10.44
There's also the issue
of trust as we talk about
00:16:11.56\00:16:14.76
the spiritual crisis.
00:16:14.79\00:16:16.97
Do we really trust God?
00:16:17.00\00:16:18.68
We walk around a
lot and we like to say
00:16:19.28\00:16:21.75
"God is our Father"
or "God is our Master"
00:16:21.78\00:16:26.68
and all these
other beautiful words.
00:16:26.71\00:16:29.74
Pleasant
platitudes, if you will,
00:16:29.77\00:16:31.69
that sound good and
they impress people.
00:16:31.72\00:16:33.94
But do we really trust God?
00:16:33.97\00:16:36.80
Do we really believe that
He has the power to heal us,
00:16:36.83\00:16:41.15
that He has the power
to heal our relationships?
00:16:41.18\00:16:43.46
That He has the power to
give us the type of intimacy
00:16:43.49\00:16:47.23
and oneness in marriage?
00:16:47.26\00:16:48.94
So, as we're talking
about building this oneness
00:16:48.97\00:16:52.62
with one another and with
God, we've got to take steps,
00:16:52.65\00:16:58.27
baby steps maybe to begin
with, to really get a clear
00:16:58.30\00:17:02.50
understanding of
what God means to us.
00:17:02.53\00:17:05.54
And learning to trust Him,
learning to believe in Him,
00:17:05.57\00:17:09.46
getting past our fear.
00:17:09.49\00:17:11.76
Perhaps it's fear that
keeps us from trusting Him.
00:17:11.79\00:17:15.21
And a lot of that comes
from the fact that we think
00:17:15.24\00:17:18.87
we can do it on our own.
00:17:18.90\00:17:20.76
Most times when we
say we rely on God,
00:17:20.79\00:17:24.65
it's after we've
tried it ourselves,
00:17:24.68\00:17:27.96
after we've tried to
fix the problem ourselves.
00:17:27.99\00:17:30.46
And then we turn to God.
00:17:30.49\00:17:32.71
And what we need to learn
to do is to trust God first,
00:17:32.74\00:17:35.87
is to open His
word, read His word,
00:17:35.90\00:17:38.63
get a clear understanding
of what He intends for us
00:17:38.66\00:17:42.92
and the blessings
that He wants to give us.
00:17:42.95\00:17:45.76
I'm always so moved
by the fact that God
00:17:45.79\00:17:48.80
has a plan for our lives.
00:17:48.83\00:17:50.85
He talks about that in
Jeremiah where He says,
00:17:50.88\00:17:53.17
"I have a plan for you. I
have plans to prosper you.
00:17:53.20\00:17:57.57
Plans not to harm you, plans
to give you hope and a future. "
00:17:57.60\00:18:01.22
And if we could
just take that to heart,
00:18:01.25\00:18:03.88
then we will begin
that journey of nurturing
00:18:03.91\00:18:08.71
that oneness with God.
00:18:08.74\00:18:10.22
And I truly believe that when
we have a close relationship
00:18:10.25\00:18:14.20
with God, we'll
have great marriages,
00:18:14.23\00:18:17.02
we'll have a great relationship.
00:18:17.05\00:18:18.71
We'll be able to
have the type of intimacy
00:18:18.74\00:18:21.06
that God wants us to
have in our relationships.
00:18:21.09\00:18:23.51
Another point in this whole
issue of the spiritual crisis
00:18:24.18\00:18:27.69
is the issue of surrender.
00:18:27.72\00:18:29.45
We haven't fully
surrendered to God.
00:18:29.48\00:18:31.92
We haven't fully
surrendered to our mates.
00:18:31.95\00:18:34.47
We're holding back.
00:18:34.50\00:18:36.31
Many times there's this
false notion in secular thought,
00:18:36.34\00:18:42.44
and it comes into the church
and to us a people of God,
00:18:42.47\00:18:45.20
and that is, "Well if
you're going to be a Christian
00:18:45.23\00:18:50.03
what is it you're giving up?"
00:18:50.06\00:18:51.30
And so, we say we
want to be children of God,
00:18:51.33\00:18:55.59
we say we want
to be saved by God,
00:18:55.62\00:18:58.50
but we think that
somehow there's something that
00:18:58.53\00:19:02.50
we're giving up.
00:19:02.53\00:19:03.70
I want to be clear that when
it comes to God and to marriage,
00:19:03.73\00:19:08.53
the issues are synonymous,
00:19:09.53\00:19:11.35
we have to be
fully surrendered to God
00:19:13.06\00:19:15.01
and understand that
we're not giving up anything.
00:19:15.04\00:19:17.43
Well, indeed we are
giving up something.
00:19:17.46\00:19:19.54
But what we're
giving up is death for life.
00:19:19.57\00:19:22.03
I speak to young people who
are in their early twenties, or
00:19:22.06\00:19:26.21
sometimes they're
moving toward their thirties,
00:19:26.24\00:19:28.32
and we have a conversation
about marriage, and I say,
00:19:28.35\00:19:30.97
Well, any plans for marriage?"
00:19:31.00\00:19:32.75
"Well, you know, I'm not
sure I'm willing to give up my"
00:19:32.78\00:19:35.69
singlehoodness yet. "
00:19:35.72\00:19:37.46
What is it you're giving up?
00:19:37.49\00:19:39.25
Mind you, nothing against those
of you who want to be single.
00:19:39.28\00:19:42.31
Certainly, it's a
viable way of living.
00:19:42.34\00:19:45.62
And not everyone
needs to be married.
00:19:45.65\00:19:47.35
But if you're not
married because you're afraid of
00:19:47.38\00:19:50.57
giving up something, all we're
giving up is not having anyone,
00:19:50.60\00:19:55.47
to having someone.
00:19:55.50\00:19:57.01
We mentioned earlier on
that two are better than one
00:19:57.04\00:20:00.74
as found in the
book of Ecclesiastes.
00:20:00.77\00:20:02.55
And God, His plan was
for us to have marriage.
00:20:02.58\00:20:06.37
But if we're going to have
marriage and it's going to work,
00:20:06.40\00:20:08.33
we have to be fully surrendered.
00:20:08.36\00:20:10.40
Surrendered to God,
which means no holds barred.
00:20:10.43\00:20:14.50
What we want to do is
what God wants us to do.
00:20:14.53\00:20:16.88
And surrendered to marriage,
surrendered to our mate.
00:20:17.18\00:20:19.81
So that we're not holding
on to some old boyfriend or
00:20:19.84\00:20:22.99
some old girlfriend,
or something that we did
00:20:23.02\00:20:26.08
before we got married.
00:20:26.11\00:20:27.15
No, there's nothing better
than to be in this relationship
00:20:27.45\00:20:30.87
that God ordained.
00:20:30.90\00:20:32.03
So, if there's not going
to be a spiritual crisis,
00:20:32.06\00:20:34.56
we're going to have
to deal with these issues
00:20:34.59\00:20:37.28
that we just mentioned.
00:20:37.31\00:20:38.44
Time, trust, and surrender.
00:20:38.47\00:20:42.12
So, how do we integrate this
spirituality into our marriage?
00:20:43.96\00:20:47.95
How do we bring it all together?
00:20:47.98\00:20:49.98
One of the things
that we need to do
00:20:50.01\00:20:51.83
first and foremost is self-work.
00:20:51.86\00:20:53.65
And we've been
speaking a lot about that.
00:20:53.68\00:20:55.84
I think we stressed
that, we've stressed that a lot
00:20:55.87\00:20:58.60
in this segment, the fact
that we have to be surrendered
00:20:58.63\00:21:02.37
to God first.
00:21:02.40\00:21:03.40
So, let me
rephrase that and say,
00:21:03.43\00:21:05.83
I have to be surrendered to God.
00:21:05.86\00:21:08.06
There's self-work
that we have to do.
00:21:08.09\00:21:09.91
We have to work on our own
personal relationship with God.
00:21:09.94\00:21:13.75
We've got to talk to
God personally every day.
00:21:13.78\00:21:17.13
We have to experience
God's love and accept His grace
00:21:17.16\00:21:22.20
and His forgiveness
in our lives every day.
00:21:22.23\00:21:24.38
And when we're able to do that,
then we're able to pass that on
00:21:24.41\00:21:28.57
to our mate.
00:21:28.60\00:21:29.57
I'm always moved by the
fact that God forgives me
00:21:29.58\00:21:34.04
every single day.
00:21:34.07\00:21:35.93
And if God does that
for me, then how can I not
00:21:35.96\00:21:39.95
do that for my mate.
00:21:39.98\00:21:41.95
There's another issue, also, as
we integrate this spirituality
00:21:42.33\00:21:45.53
into our
marriage, and that is again,
00:21:45.63\00:21:46.91
we have to take the time.
00:21:46.94\00:21:48.06
Take the time to read the Bible.
00:21:48.66\00:21:51.41
Take the time to
commune with God.
00:21:51.44\00:21:53.16
There's something that we
haven't learned to do well
00:21:53.19\00:21:56.94
in western society
that other cultures
00:21:56.97\00:22:00.82
have learned to do better.
00:22:00.85\00:22:01.85
And that is the
whole issue of meditation.
00:22:01.88\00:22:04.88
And when I say meditation,
I'm not talking about some
00:22:04.91\00:22:08.02
nebulous, trying to be
in a vacuum, meditation.
00:22:08.05\00:22:12.11
I'm talking about
meditating on God.
00:22:12.14\00:22:14.53
Ellen White tells
us in Desire of Ages
00:22:14.56\00:22:16.38
that if we spent an hour
each day meditating on God,
00:22:16.41\00:22:21.98
our lives would be different.
00:22:22.01\00:22:24.12
Imagine, He gave
up heaven for me.
00:22:24.15\00:22:28.29
I'm a sinner, the only
thing I deserve is death.
00:22:28.32\00:22:31.52
But God gave up heaven, came
down and became human like me
00:22:31.55\00:22:38.14
so that I can have eternal life.
00:22:38.17\00:22:40.59
So again, we have to take
the time to be devoted to God.
00:22:40.62\00:22:46.81
We have to take the time
to be devoted to our mate.
00:22:46.84\00:22:50.79
If we don't make the
time, we're not going to grow.
00:22:50.82\00:22:54.38
We said earlier on that if
we're going to nurture fun and
00:22:54.41\00:22:58.42
friendship in marriage,
that we're going to have to
00:22:58.45\00:23:01.41
make the time.
00:23:01.44\00:23:02.56
So, spirituality
doesn't just emerge in a vacuum.
00:23:02.59\00:23:08.03
We're going to have to put
the time in, study God's word,
00:23:08.06\00:23:11.35
spend time in
communion with Him,
00:23:11.38\00:23:13.58
spend time having
fun with our mate,
00:23:13.61\00:23:15.66
spend time reading
the word of God together,
00:23:15.69\00:23:18.53
spend time
nurturing our spiritual selves
00:23:18.56\00:23:22.96
so that we are
spiritually viable
00:23:22.99\00:23:25.78
and we have the agape love
00:23:25.81\00:23:28.58
to give to our
marital relationships.
00:23:28.61\00:23:31.07
Another way
that we can integrate
00:23:31.10\00:23:33.44
spirituality into marriage
is through our communication
00:23:33.47\00:23:37.06
and our conflict resolutions.
00:23:37.09\00:23:38.38
We're coming full
circle here, as we talk about
00:23:39.08\00:23:42.06
conflict resolution, about
communicating with our spouse.
00:23:42.09\00:23:45.65
And all of this has
to do with spirituality.
00:23:45.68\00:23:49.14
How does it have to
do with spirituality?
00:23:49.17\00:23:50.77
Spirituality is
oneness with God.
00:23:50.80\00:23:53.58
And if we're one with God,
then we have the ability then
00:23:53.61\00:23:58.47
to be kind to our spouse.
00:23:58.50\00:24:00.52
We have the ability
then to forgive our spouse.
00:24:00.55\00:24:03.85
We have the ability to
desire to forgive our spouse.
00:24:03.88\00:24:08.16
So it makes it that much
easier, not easy but easier,
00:24:08.19\00:24:14.58
for us to treat our spouse
in the way that God treats us.
00:24:14.61\00:24:20.68
This whole work of
marriage is salvific.
00:24:20.71\00:24:26.69
Yes it is.
00:24:27.09\00:24:28.69
This is about us
working out our salvation.
00:24:28.99\00:24:32.28
God has already saved us.
00:24:32.31\00:24:34.69
If we are saved, then we're
going to reflect His glory.
00:24:34.72\00:24:40.12
We're going to
reflect His goodness.
00:24:40.15\00:24:42.21
We're going to be a witness,
not to just our neighbors,
00:24:42.24\00:24:47.11
and our friends, and the
people across the street,
00:24:47.14\00:24:49.06
but we're going to be
first and foremost, a witness
00:24:49.09\00:24:53.18
to our own spouse.
00:24:53.21\00:24:54.67
So, here are
some recommendations
00:24:54.70\00:24:55.76
to increasing
spirituality in marriage.
00:24:55.79\00:24:57.80
Number one, if we're going
to increase the spirituality
00:24:57.83\00:24:59.74
in our marriage, we need
to share our spiritual walk.
00:24:59.77\00:25:02.16
Talk about "what Christ
has done for me" with my mate.
00:25:02.19\00:25:05.43
What does it mean to me?
What does Jesus mean to me?
00:25:05.46\00:25:10.25
Share with each other.
00:25:10.28\00:25:11.63
When you share with each
other, you build each other up.
00:25:11.66\00:25:14.72
Not only that, you begin to see
your marriage as spiritual work.
00:25:14.75\00:25:19.22
Because that's what it is.
00:25:19.25\00:25:21.31
And one of the things that
we like to do and we can share
00:25:21.89\00:25:25.43
with others, is the
fact that when we have our
00:25:25.46\00:25:28.20
morning worship, and we
use to do it with our children
00:25:28.23\00:25:30.47
when they were at home,
now they're both in college,
00:25:30.50\00:25:33.48
but we still continue to
do it, where in the morning
00:25:33.51\00:25:36.90
we ask one another,
what are your praises?
00:25:36.93\00:25:40.22
What are your prayer requests?
00:25:40.25\00:25:41.65
What are your
challenges in life?
00:25:41.68\00:25:43.43
That's a safe way to share
spirituality with one another,
00:25:43.46\00:25:48.54
to share our spiritual walk.
00:25:48.57\00:25:50.42
We also can share scripture.
00:25:50.45\00:25:52.26
And I know just recently, I was
going through a difficult time
00:25:52.29\00:25:57.00
in my life,
just some challenges.
00:25:57.03\00:26:00.03
And you said, you were
reading your Bible and you said,
00:26:00.06\00:26:03.65
"Babe, I want to
share this text with you. "
00:26:03.68\00:26:06.99
And that was
very powerful to me.
00:26:07.02\00:26:08.58
So we can share
scripture with one another.
00:26:08.61\00:26:11.28
That's another way that we
can share spirituality together.
00:26:11.31\00:26:15.43
We can also pray together.
00:26:15.46\00:26:19.11
The Bible says in James 5:16,
"Therefore confess your sins
00:26:19.14\00:26:23.50
to one another and
pray for one another. "
00:26:23.53\00:26:26.51
So, God wants us to pray for one
another in our relationships.
00:26:26.54\00:26:31.03
When we pray for one
another and we pray together,
00:26:31.06\00:26:33.63
we acknowledge the
presence of God, we acknowledge
00:26:33.66\00:26:37.47
His leading in our lives
and in our relationships.
00:26:37.50\00:26:40.54
Another way in which we can
increase our spiritual intimacy
00:26:41.24\00:26:43.65
is by worshiping together.
00:26:43.75\00:26:45.20
So have morning devotions
together, evening worship,
00:26:45.23\00:26:48.57
family worship, but
specifically as a couple,
00:26:48.60\00:26:51.72
we can worship together.
00:26:51.75\00:26:52.93
And then we can
share a ministry together.
00:26:53.64\00:26:55.22
Like we are doing, Elaine.
00:26:55.25\00:26:56.56
When you share a
ministry together
00:26:56.59\00:26:57.79
your lives become richer.
00:26:57.82\00:26:59.35
You're able to make a difference
in your world together.
00:26:59.38\00:27:04.04
And that is not only good
for people on the other side,
00:27:04.07\00:27:07.51
that's good for us on this side.
00:27:07.54\00:27:09.78
Absolutely.
00:27:09.81\00:27:11.04
Ellen White, in Gospel
Workers page 204, says:
00:27:11.07\00:27:14.30
She has such a
wonderful way of saying things.
00:27:30.95\00:27:33.30
And I'm always happy we can
end with a promise of success.
00:27:33.33\00:27:37.32
Philippians 4:13, "I can
do all things through Christ
00:27:37.35\00:27:40.65
who gives me strength. "
00:27:40.68\00:27:41.94
May God bless you all.
00:27:41.97\00:27:44.08