Participants: Alanzo Smith, June Smith
Series Code: MGH
Program Code: MGH000048
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00:30 Welcome to Marriage in God's Hands.
00:33 I am Alanzo Smith. 00:35 And I'm June Smith. 00:37 And we have been married for 31 years. 00:42 Today, we are going to talk with you 00:45 on the topic, Too blessed to be stressed. 00:49 Won't you bow your heads with us as we pray before we do so. 00:56 Father, we thank You for Your mercies and for Your grace. 01:00 We thank You for Your love. 01:02 We thank You for being the great problem solver. 01:06 And for the assurance that whatever our cares are, 01:10 You will take it away. 01:13 We now place them in Your hands. 01:15 In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. 01:21 I'm going to share with you a story. 01:23 It's a well known story. 01:25 It's about King Ahab and Elijah. 01:33 Ahab was king of Israel. 01:36 And the record says that he did more harm and more evil 01:42 than all of his predecessors. 01:46 But there was a consequence for that. 01:48 As a result, there was neither rain nor dew for 31/2 years. 01:55 Well, one day he saw the prophet Elijah. 01:59 And Ahab said to Elijah, "Art thou he that troubleth Israel?" 02:05 And I like Elijah's response. 02:08 I'm going to put it up for you to read with me 02:11 Elijah's response in 1 Kings 18:18. 02:34 Out of that episode, Elijah asked a simple request. 02:39 Let's prove who's god is the true God. 02:42 Let's have a meeting on top of Mount Carmel. 02:45 Ahab agreed and they had the meeting. 02:48 And the alters were built. 02:50 And they were to pray now to see whose god would bring fire down. 02:55 Well, you know what happened? 02:57 Ahab prayed to Baal, no fire. 03:01 But when Elijah prayed to his God, fire came down. 03:06 Elijah started out with a power prayer. 03:08 He said, "Lord, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. 03:12 Let it be known this day that Thou art a God in Israel. " 03:18 Friends, there is a God in Israel. 03:20 No matter what's happening to you, there is a God in Israel. 03:24 You're listening to this program right now 03:27 and you might be frustrated or discouraged; 03:30 There is a God in Israel. 03:32 Elijah said, "Let it be known this day 03:35 that there is a God in Israel. " 03:40 Well... 03:43 Ahab saw all that transpired. 03:50 Fire came down and consumed Elijah's alter. 03:55 That must have been quite a miracle. 03:59 Ahab went home and he shared this with his wife. 04:03 Now you may have read the story. 04:06 His wife, Jezebel, was not a very good character. 04:12 But when she heard what had happened, 04:16 she decided that she was going to kill the prophet. 04:23 So she threatened his life. 04:25 And the news of that threat reached Elijah. 04:29 And what did Elijah do? 04:33 1 Kings 19:1-6, gives us an insight 04:40 into the behavior and the action of Elijah. 04:44 We're talking about, Too blessed to be stressed. 04:48 Here was a prophet that was so blessed by God. 04:52 Here was a prophet that just saw 04:54 the awesome power of God on Mount Carmel. 04:57 And the mere threat of Jezebel now throws him into depression. 05:05 We're going to read the first 6 verses, 05:08 or we're going to take out sections of the first 6 verses 05:11 and show you Elijah's depressive behavior 05:15 as a result of that threat. 05:19 In verse 3 of the passage, it says, after the threat 05:25 he ran for his life. 05:27 That is so consistent with people who get depressed. 05:33 When a challenge or a problem confronts them, 05:36 they are usually running away. 05:40 The idea is, "If I can get away, then the problem will go away 05:44 or the depression will leave. " 05:46 But that doesn't usually happen. 05:48 But it is what usually happens when people get depressed. 05:52 In verses 3 and 4 it says, he left his servant at Beersheba 05:59 and went into the wilderness alone. 06:04 Again, when an individual gets depressed, 06:07 they tend to want to go it alone. 06:10 It's not unusual for them to cut off their family. 06:13 Or to cut off their friends, and to isolate themselves. 06:18 The last part of verse 4 says, he requested that he might die. 06:23 And he even prayed, "Oh Lord, take away my life 06:28 for I am no better than my forefathers. " 06:33 It seems Elijah was irrational. 06:35 And that is sometimes what happens when we get overwhelmed. 06:38 And we get stressed or depressed. 06:41 And what we are saying is that people sometimes 06:45 who get stressed and depressed have suicidal ideations. 06:49 They sometimes think for a moment, 06:51 "If I could just escape, maybe I wouldn't have to face 06:55 the consequences of this crisis or of this state. " 06:59 And they wish to die. 07:03 And irrational ideas too. 07:05 Here was Elijah saying, "Well, I am no better than my father. " 07:10 How can someone who is alive say to themselves, 07:16 "I am no better than a dead person. " 07:19 And sometimes we behave, we call it "the Elijah syndrome. " 07:23 Sometimes you behave like that. 07:25 You are met with a crisis, you're met with a challenge. 07:28 You're faced with some difficult situation and you're saying, 07:31 "I wish to God I were dead. " Or, "It would have been better 07:34 if I were dead. " 07:35 You can never be better off dead when you have life 07:39 and you have a Savior. 07:40 You can never be better off dead when you have Jesus Christ 07:44 who has already gone to Calvary and He died there for your sins. 07:49 So we're saying, you must remember you're too blessed 07:53 to be so stressed out, to stress your life out 07:56 that you now have irrational ideas, "I would prefer to die. " 07:59 Not at all, Jesus Christ is there to help you. 08:04 Well, let's look in verse 5. 08:07 It says "as he lay and slept. " 08:14 Again, that seems to be what frequently happens 08:16 when an individual gets depressed. 08:20 They want to sleep. 08:21 They would just lay in bed for long hours 08:23 and pull the comforter over. 08:25 And again isolate themselves from everything and everyone. 08:30 Why do you thing that people resort to sleeping? 08:34 Is it an effort to escape from their reality? 08:38 Is it that the pain is too severe? 08:40 Why do we resort to sleep sometimes? 08:44 I think it's a state of helplessness. 08:46 And for all those things that you listed. 08:49 When you are overwhelmed emotionally, you get lethargic. 08:53 And you just don't have the energy to get up and 08:56 do the things that are demanding on your cognitive process 09:00 and on your emotional system. And so your escape is 09:03 "Let me just sleep it out and hope that when I wake up 09:07 it won't be there. " 09:08 The reality is when you get up, the problem will be there. 09:12 So what we do need to do is face our issues and get help 09:16 to solve them if we get overwhelmed. 09:18 But not deny the opportunity to solve them. 09:21 So we are saying, depressed people like to sleep a lot. 09:26 The last part of verse 5 says, "An angel said unto him, 09:31 'Arise and eat. '" 09:34 It's evident that Elijah had not been eating and this happens. 09:39 Now it happens in both ways, though. 09:41 People who get depressed sometimes starve themselves. 09:44 They lose their appetite and food has absolutely no appeal. 09:49 But for some people when they get depressed, they overeat. 09:53 They eat everything in sight. 09:55 So that happens frequently. 09:58 And in this case, the angel was saying, "Come on, get up. 10:02 You need to get some strength here. " 10:04 But look what he did in verse 6. 10:05 In verse 6, he did eat and drink. 10:08 But then he went back and he lay himself down again. 10:13 So here he was, making an effort. 10:15 But then he regressed to the original state. 10:19 And that tends to happen with depressed people. 10:22 They try to lift themselves up. They try to problem solve. 10:25 And then they resort to the state that they were in. 10:29 So it's a very chronic behavior. 10:32 And what we are saying is when we consider us 10:36 children of God, that we have the entire angelic hosts 10:40 to assist us with the Holy Spirit. 10:42 And Jesus Himself to assist us in solving our problems. 10:45 We have no need to be stressed. 10:48 Don't allow situations to get us bogged down so badly. 10:52 The Bible tells us that 10:55 the angel came back and woke him up again. 11:00 And this time the angel gave him the message, he said 11:03 "Go to the mount of Horeb. Go to the mount of God. 11:08 And stay there, get out, get from where you are. 11:12 Go to Horeb, the mount of God. " 11:15 And the record tells us that Elijah 11:18 went and lodged in a cave. 11:21 Verse 9 says, "And he came thither 11:23 and lodged himself in a cave. 11:26 What was Elijah doing in a cave when God specifically told him 11:32 that he should go on the mountain, on Mount Horeb. 11:35 What was he doing in a cave? 11:38 How is it that a prophet so blessed 11:41 could become so stressed? 11:43 The champion of the morning 11:45 became the coward of the evening. 11:50 It is not unusual that people get irrational and do 11:53 silly things when they get depressed. 11:55 Ellen White says: 12:27 What a powerful revelation. 12:30 Dear friends, no matter what you're going through, 12:33 no matter what the challenge is, 12:35 remember that you're too blessed to be stressed. 12:38 That's what we are talking about. 12:40 Life will hit you with some hard blows. 12:44 But you have a Savior. 12:45 Life will come at you and they'll be challenges. 12:48 Look at Elijah. 12:50 Elijah knew God for himself. 12:54 Elijah saw God's power. 12:57 Look at what happened on Mount Carmel. 12:59 Think of the fear that went through the heart of Ahab 13:03 when he saw all of that manifestation of God's power. 13:07 And yet, Elijah having been threatened, forgot all of that. 13:12 And that's the tendency among us. 13:14 To forget God's goodness, to forget God's grace, 13:18 when we are hit with trials and problems. 13:22 And so it is with Elijah. 13:26 Well, there's a lot of stuff to talk about. 13:29 But we have to take a break. 13:30 So listen, you stay right there. 13:32 Hold your seat, because when we come back, 13:35 we're going to continue this discussion. 13:49 There are many "How To" books available. 13:51 But there's one that's free and perfect for every couple. 13:54 How You Can Build A Better Marriage 13:56 Bible-based, matrimonial advice is given in a light-hearted, 14:00 easy to read manner for those contemplating marriage, 14:03 newlyweds, couples in their golden years, 14:06 and everyone in between. Call or write for your copy: 14:23 Welcome back to Marriage in God's Hands. 14:27 We have been talking on the topic, 14:30 Too blessed to be stressed. 14:32 And we have used the Elijah story to demonstrate 14:36 how sometimes Christians can be blessed by God, 14:41 yet in the mist of tragedy or difficult experiences 14:46 they somehow forget God's blessing. 14:49 We talked about how Elijah, having witnessed God's 14:52 awesome power on Mt. Carmel, the very moment Jezebel 14:58 threatened his life, he ran into depression. 15:02 And so, here we are now. 15:04 We need to talk about, how can someone know 15:09 how can you know, if you are suffering from depression? 15:14 One thing that is helpful, is to explore or to examine 15:18 your circumstance and your situation. 15:21 So you might ask yourself some questions. 15:23 For example, do you think usually pessimistic? 15:28 Are you seeing the glass half empty, rather than half full? 15:36 Are you discouraged, or do you feel discouraged regularly? 15:39 And are you a pessimistic person? 15:42 If I get discouraged easily and if I'm always seeing the glass 15:46 half empty, then it could be signs of depression. 15:52 Frequently, people who get overwhelmed and who get 15:56 depressed, tend to have problems sleeping 15:59 or even waking up. 16:01 Now, many people have problems sleeping, 16:03 especially as they get older. 16:05 It doesn't mean that they're depressed. 16:06 But depressed people frequently have problems falling asleep 16:10 or getting out of bed. 16:12 So if that's happening to you and you know you're 16:14 overwhelmed with a particular concern, then you might be 16:18 heading for depression. 16:20 Are you over eating or under eating? 16:24 You know, you're eating habit, you're eating pattern. 16:27 Do you find yourself all of a sudden not eating at all, 16:31 not wanting to eat, losing your appetite? 16:34 Or are you eating too much? 16:36 This is not how you use to eat, but you just started eating. 16:40 Maybe feeding on junk food, maybe drinking a lot of soda. 16:44 Or whatever it is. 16:45 It could be that you're trying to make up for something else. 16:49 We're not saying you're depressed, but we're 16:51 saying it could be signs leading to depression. 16:54 The question we're trying to answer for you is; 16:57 How can you know if you are suffering from depression? 17:01 And sometimes individuals use the food as a medication 17:04 for the hope that the problem or the feeling will go away. 17:08 Another indicator is, do you feel troubled in your spirit? 17:14 You have almost lost pleasure and you are not sure 17:19 what is going on. 17:20 You just don't have the interest in the things that 17:24 were of interest before. 17:26 And you're just overwhelmed with a feeling of sadness. 17:32 Or maybe you're just nervous for no apparent reason at all. 17:38 You're just not restful as you should be. 17:43 You get quite anxious and agitated and the 17:48 least little thing sets you off. 17:50 Are you finding yourself very nervous for no apparent reason? 17:57 Some people who are depressed feel like they're a failure. 18:00 They attempt certain tasks and for some reason 18:07 if they didn't achieve it, 18:09 the average person would keep trying. 18:11 But when a person gets depressed, they get 18:13 overwhelmed that they have failed 18:15 at whatever it is that they attempt. 18:17 And that sometimes pushes them further 18:19 into a state of depression. 18:22 Are you easily annoyed or irritated? 18:26 Sometimes people get annoyed over any little thing 18:31 and every little thing. 18:32 And before, you weren't like that. 18:34 It's like one would describe you as being an edgy person. 18:37 Irritability is a sign that you're now demonstrating 18:44 that you never use to demonstrate before. 18:46 Take a conscious look at yourself, you know who you are. 18:51 A child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. 18:54 You're created in the image of God. 18:56 And if you find yourself responding in these ways, 19:00 then you need to say to yourself, "What's wrong?" 19:03 And ask yourself those questions as you self examine. 19:07 Another sign is that depressed people blame themselves. 19:10 And they're critical of themselves. 19:12 And sometimes they attempt self-destructive behavior. 19:16 So if that is happening, again you want to 19:18 pay attention and get help. 19:20 I think a critical sign, though, is when then begin to withdraw 19:24 from a spiritual experience. 19:26 They refuse to go to church. 19:28 Or to reach out to their spiritual network, 19:32 Their friends and family who could pray with them 19:35 and assist them in working through. 19:37 So, when you find these things happening, or a series of 19:40 these things happening, and you know that there's a concern 19:44 that overwhelms you, you could be heading for depression. 19:49 Depression is not something to take lightly. 19:53 It generally starts out with a mild form of depression. 19:59 And often times individuals go into denial. 20:02 "Well, it's nothing. I'm just a little tired 20:07 or sleepy. " Or "I'm, just restless. " 20:10 Sometime is happening but you're not facing it. 20:14 You're trying to deny it. 20:15 And so, whatever the issue is, if you don't confront it 20:19 and try to work through it or get help, 20:21 then what might happen is that it escalates and it moves from 20:27 mild depression to moderate depression. 20:30 And again, it can move from moderate depression 20:33 to now a more serious form of depression. 20:36 So what we're saying is, depression is not something 20:38 to take lightly. 20:39 And certainly, if there's anyone there feeling depressed, 20:42 we're not trying to trivialize your experience, 20:45 we're not trying to lessen the affect 20:48 of what you're going through. 20:50 We know that depression is serious and we know it is real. 20:53 And all we're trying to do here now is to see 20:55 how might you get help. 20:57 Because, in truth and in fact, people who are depressed 21:00 can do different things and strange things and 21:04 things that they're not suppose to do. 21:07 We want to make a distinction between feeling sad 21:10 and feeling depressed. 21:12 Sadness is an occurrence, or phenomena that occurs, 21:15 when you have sad experiences, when difficult encounters 21:20 happen, when you fail at something you try. 21:24 Or you hear some news that is not so pleasant. 21:26 You experience sad emotions. 21:29 But that's a normal response to news that is adverse 21:33 or that is problematic. 21:34 But when you stay in that sad state, 21:38 and all of the things that we've talked about; 21:41 you don't want to eat, you are lethargic. 21:43 You are not functioning at the levels at which you're 21:46 capable of and need to function. 21:48 So, if you're a student and you have stopped doing your 21:50 assignments, you're cutting classes, 21:52 and you're not going to school. 21:53 If you are an adult who should be working and employed, 21:56 and you just don't want to go to work. 21:58 Then that is moving from sadness into a dysfunctional state 22:03 which is heading for some level of depression. 22:06 So, an individual who is getting depressed can tell themselves, 22:11 "This is a point at which this is getting serious. 22:14 and I need to go get help. " 22:18 Are you listening? 22:19 It's important for you to take note, 22:21 because we want you to get well. 22:23 If you're suffering from depression, 22:24 we want you to get help. 22:26 And of course, there are steps to take. 22:29 You know what I have noticed? 22:31 Just about everything that we talk to you about, 22:36 is that, as we talk about steps to take for help, 22:41 the first thing we mention, or if it's not the first, 22:45 we are going to mention it or we have mentioned it, 22:47 is that, no denial. 22:50 Because, as long as you're still in your denial, 22:54 you're not going to be able to get help. 22:56 And it's the same thing with depression. 22:59 Agree that the depression exists. 23:01 That's the first step of working your way out of it. 23:06 So what we are saying is you must own the problem. 23:09 before you can fix the problem. Yes. 23:13 Another thing you can do to get out of depression is that 23:16 you can set small achievable goals. 23:20 And when I say small achievable, the reason is 23:23 if you set yourself large goals, the chances are you might not 23:26 accomplish those goals, and then it might plunge you into 23:29 a deeper depression. 23:31 For example, if your house is a mess and you have not 23:34 cleaned it for a while because of how you're feeling, 23:38 Don't get up one morning and say, "Ok, I need to work myself 23:40 out of this depression, so I'm going to 23:42 clean the entire house. " 23:43 The chances are, by the time you get to midday, 23:46 you're going to be so tired and lethargic 23:49 that you will go back to bed. 23:53 And then you feel bad that you didn't accomplish your goal. 23:57 And it drives you into deeper depression. 23:59 Set small goals so you can accomplish it. 24:01 Just start with one room, clean the room up. 24:04 When you get that done, you feel so good that the next day 24:06 you want to attempt something else. 24:09 Now you also want to think optimistically. 24:12 You want to believe that there is hope 24:14 regardless of what has happened and how chronic is appears. 24:18 That there is help at the end of the tunnel, 24:21 or the light at the end of the tunnel. 24:23 And hopefully it's not a train coming. 24:25 So that you want to think, there has to be some solution. 24:29 And by God's grace, you are going to seek help 24:32 and work towards a resolution. 24:34 So depressed people, in order to get help, must first think 24:38 it is possible to overcome this tragedy, 24:41 or this crisis, or this problem. 24:44 Any kind of exercise. 24:46 Exercise makes people feel better. 24:50 And any form of exercise you do will help you 24:53 in trying to get out of your lethargic state. 24:57 When you exercise your limbs and your body, 24:59 you feel stronger and it starts acting on your mind. 25:02 You start feeling better. So exercise, exercise, exercise. 25:08 Now one good thing is to talk to somebody that you trust. 25:10 Find a confident friend or family member 25:13 or whoever is in your network that you think will be somebody 25:17 who will listen to you and give you objective advice. 25:20 Because sometimes when you're sad and depressed 25:22 you sometimes, in sharing that with somebody 25:25 they themselves could get sad and depressed and even worse. 25:28 So you want to find somebody who is able and capable 25:30 to receive your problems. 25:32 However, never resist going to a professional counselor 25:36 or somebody who is trained to assist you in working through 25:40 the problem and looking at what your options are, 25:42 and helping you decide on what best to do. 25:48 We want to offer a word of caution, however. 25:50 There are counselors and there are counselors. 25:52 There are some who embrace humanistic theories 25:56 that are not in line with spirituality. 26:01 And you need to avoid those counselors. 26:02 It is your responsibility to check out your counselor 26:05 and to see where they are coming from. 26:06 But professional counseling is ok. 26:09 But you want to have a spiritual counselor 26:12 who can integrate spirituality into counseling. 26:17 That's important. 26:19 and not just spirituality but Christian. 26:21 And for those of you who are Seventh Day Adventist, 26:23 clearly, values that you share. 26:28 Most of all, we want you to go back to the word of God. 26:33 No matter how you're feeling, 26:35 No matter what you're going through, 26:37 go back to the word of God. 26:41 This book is power. 26:43 This book has strength in it to help you and to guide you. 26:48 We're going to look at a few text to give you 26:51 the strength and the power. 26:52 For example, Psalm 46:1 says, God is your refuge and strength. 27:00 No matter what, God is your refuge and strength. 27:03 I like Isaiah 43:2. 27:06 "When thou passeth through the waters, I will be with thee. " 27:13 I like the one in Hebrews 13:5. 27:14 He says, "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee. " 27:19 You know something? 27:21 When Elijah came out of the cave and 27:23 went on the mountain following God, 27:25 he stood on the mountain and there was a wind. 27:27 But God was not in the wind. 27:28 There was an earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake. 27:31 And a fire. Then a still small voice. 27:34 It was after he heard that still small voice, 27:36 he came out of the depression. 27:38 That still small voice is yours saying, 27:40 "Be still and know that I am God. " 27:43 Be faithful. |
Revised 2014-12-17