Participants: Willie and Wilma Lee
Series Code: MGH
Program Code: MGH000037
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00:30 Welcome to Marriage in God's Hands.
00:33 I'm Willie Lee, your host, and my co-host is Wilma, my wife. 00:39 Welcome. Today we're going to talk about richer/poorer. 00:44 So, let's being our session with prayer. 00:49 Thank you, dear Lord, for all that You have done 00:53 every part of our lives. And we ask You to continue to 00:58 be with us as we experience each part of our lives to come 01:04 and what we will share today. 01:06 Lord, because you are a God for everything and all things, 01:11 we thank You for your consistency 01:14 and we are thankful that You can be with us through all things. 01:18 And we praise you! 01:19 In the name of Jesus we pray, Amen and Amen. 01:25 Well you can tell by the scope 01:28 of our subject today 01:31 that there's a ring of 01:33 familiarity about that. 01:34 I don't know if you are one who had a traditional marriage vow 01:39 or you had vows that were other than what we just said: 01:44 richer/poorer. 01:46 But you can recall, those of you who were in somewhat of a 01:51 conscious state during that time, that during the wedding 01:56 ceremony when it's time for the vows, those are familiar words. 01:59 You have heard them said on many occasions, 02:02 and we have heard them said on many occasions. 02:04 And they were part of ours as well, and I didn't think 02:08 seriously about what richer and poorer meant. 02:13 But maybe we do need to stop and think about that a little bit. 02:17 Well I think most people think 02:19 richer and poorer means money. 02:22 Because in our society, that's 02:25 what richer and poor has 02:27 always referred to: wealth. 02:30 And so when people say that I take you in richer and poorer 02:36 and most people think the richer part, certainly not the poorer 02:40 part. Because, after all, who wants to be poor? 02:44 Well, when I looked at our bank account when we got married, 02:47 I knew there was no richer involved. 02:50 I was hoping that maybe that was in our future, but... 02:52 I definitely knew the poorer part. 02:55 But at the same time, I don't think I remember 02:59 in our household of thinking, as we were growing up, 03:03 that we were poor. 03:05 Even though we didn't have a lot of money, 03:07 and even though money was not necessarily 03:10 something to be missed or to be desired when we were little, 03:14 you don't think about money so much when you're small. 03:17 Other things occupy your mind. But as you grow older and 03:21 you begin to understand that others have different things 03:23 or more things... then richer and poorer becomes 03:28 a little bit more meaningful. And when you have to handle 03:31 your own budget in your own household, then for sure 03:34 you don't want to fall into that trap of thinking 03:39 "I'm poor, " but it does come to us that sometimes there are 03:42 poorer times than others in many different ways... 03:45 including financial. 03:47 And I think that when you begin to look at what God's Word 03:52 has to talk about when we think about richer and poorer, 03:56 um-hmm - that maybe it gives us a better view 04:00 of what God is talking about and what that means 04:04 in the line of Christian marriage. 04:06 And Proverbs 15:16 says in The New Living Translation: 04:11 "There is treasure in the house of the godly. " 04:15 And by treasure? 04:18 Is it talking about financial wealth or gold or silver? 04:24 What kind of treasure do you get from that particular saying? 04:30 Well, there may be gold and silver... but I don't think 04:35 that that's what God had reference to. 04:38 I think He's talking about treasure being joy, 04:41 peace, and happiness that comes because God abides there, 04:47 and that that is most significant. 04:50 You know, when you begin to look at God's Word 04:54 and you begin to look at what's really valuable, 04:58 you think back to what happened 05:02 when people shared their wealth. Um-hmm. 05:09 And they showed all their wealthy things - yes - 05:11 and they didn't share how God blessed. Ahh. 05:14 Well, you know when you look at the other part of that verse 05:16 I know in the King James Version it also mentions there: 05:20 "But in the revenues of the wicked is trouble. " Ummm. 05:24 So the opposite of having treasures or having something 05:29 that is rich is having trouble. 05:32 And maybe we need to re-focus 05:37 and look at that as far as how God looks at the household 05:41 that's built on faith... the household that's built 05:44 on the things that God possesses and shares with us. 05:50 And I think that as we moved into our marriage - 05:53 and look back - that we had a richness that we felt. 05:56 Even though we didn't have things or money, 06:01 we had a richness. 06:02 And some of those things were very meaningful. 06:05 Well, you know, as I think about that first house we lived in, 06:10 It was a very small house; it was less than 1,000 sq. feet. 06:16 Like a small apartment - a very small apartment - 06:20 on a lot of land. But I can remember many joyous times 06:25 we spent with each other. 06:27 We opened our house to lots of people. 06:31 Um-hmm. It was an open door. 06:33 People enjoyed coming to our house; 06:35 we enjoyed sharing what we had. 06:38 And I think that if we were to look back on those times 06:42 early in our marriage, that was a joyous time not only for us 06:47 but it was a treasure because it was an open door for us, 06:52 for our friends, for our family, and it was great treasure. 06:57 Well, I think if we start with where we started. 07:00 We started with the Lord. We started knowing that our 07:03 purpose for being in this world and our purpose in life 07:07 was going to be to work for God, on behalf of God. 07:11 So... we took that seriously. 07:14 And I feel... and from the experience that I have had 07:19 with you... is that we had a treasure. 07:21 Just looking forward to and having new things unfold 07:24 every day and people and things come into our lives, 07:28 but our marriage was increasing in those opportunities 07:33 to share together. Whatever we had, we shared mutually, 07:37 and that was a rich experience. 07:41 And sometimes, though, marriages go through poor experiences 07:45 because it says "for richer or for poorer" which means that 07:48 when you don't have the richness of that relationship 07:52 there are times when there's... for whatever reason... 07:55 there's a removal of that relationship that takes on 07:59 that special hue and that special glory and it tarnishes 08:04 a little bit, and you go through a poor time 08:06 when you have to fight through some difficult periods. 08:09 Well, yes, and we've had those as well. 08:12 I think that one of our poorer 08:14 times was when we lost our son. 08:16 And I think that that was a 08:19 poorer time. We had to struggle 08:22 through that. And yet and still it turns out 08:27 that because we had those times before, we had friends. 08:33 They, in turn, became treasures because they held us up. 08:37 And that is part of the riches. 08:40 That's part of the riches that helps you through 08:41 the poor times. You have something that 08:45 you would say even if you are 08:46 looking at finances, 08:48 something for a rainy day. 08:50 Lay aside something for a rainy day. 08:51 Your mother often says that: 08:53 "Well you know, I just need to keep something aside for 08:56 a rainy day. " So those rainy days, those poorer times, 09:01 those difficult periods of time, when you have that which 09:05 you have built and treasured, it comes back to bring you the 09:09 comfort and the joy - and the assurance - that there is 09:12 something at the end of this dark period. 09:15 Something that is to be realized even though you cannot 09:19 see the end, that it's going to come out OK. 09:22 And maybe that's what Ecclesiastes 4:9 through 12 09:26 is talking about - OK - when it says "Two are better than one 09:30 because they have a good return" - ahh - "for their work. " 09:34 Yes. "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. 09:37 But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. 09:43 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. 09:48 But how can one keep warm alone? 09:51 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. 09:55 A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. " 10:00 So the Word of God gives us, then, a formula, doesn't it? 10:05 It does. And the formula talks about the various things 10:09 that happen when you have a friendship in marriage. 10:13 You know, I think it would be a very poor thing, 10:16 a very difficult thing or a troublesome thing, if you were 10:19 in a marriage with someone who was not your best friend. 10:22 That you had to go somewhere else to find a best friend. 10:26 And I haven't had to do that! 10:29 And I think that's a good thing. 10:31 I know that my best friend is right there with me 10:34 in my marriage. And you have been a best friend to me so that 10:38 even in those times when we were alone, moving around to 10:41 different areas of the country and we may not have been 10:43 close to family or close to those we consider 10:47 our good friends, we could always turn to one another 10:51 and find a comfort and a strengthening and binding up of 10:55 whatever we needed in our friendship as well. 10:59 And that's why marriage must be more than just an emotional 11:04 tie that is based upon sexuality. It must have a mutual 11:08 relationship of friendship that is offered one to the other. 11:13 I guess that's why I am typically a spectator 11:16 and not an involved person in sports. 11:21 But I have learned at least to understand football 11:25 so that I can watch and be intelligent and I know 11:30 what's going on. So, you remember those times 11:33 when we only had one channel? Oh, oh, OK! 11:36 I'm trying to figure out where the football comes from. 11:39 Well - OK - there was the time when we lived in an area 11:42 where we only had one channel and you liked football 11:45 and I was clueless. But thank you for being patient 11:48 enough to teach me. 11:50 Well, thank you for watching the game with me 11:52 and knowing that that is something that we could share 11:55 together on those Sundays when things were slowed down 12:00 a little bit for us. But gaining that appreciation 12:06 for one another when you are off to yourselves and knowing that 12:10 you have someone to share those moments DOES make it special. 12:15 And that's what marriage is about. 12:16 And when you have those vows, 12:18 and I don't know which vows you used, 12:20 but did you share a vow with each other that says 12:24 "for richer for poorer " 12:25 "for those good times or in bad times " 12:28 or "in difficult periods of time? " 12:30 And it's really not all about money. 12:33 And, unfortunately, this world is. 12:36 So, we need to back off of that a little bit and look at 12:39 the other things that God has given us. 12:40 And we are going to share a little bit more - yes - of that 12:43 as we go along today in our program. 12:46 But we want you to sort of talk with each other 12:50 and bring back some memories of those time periods 12:56 when you and your spouse went through some poorer times 13:00 and the richness of your previous experience or your 13:04 friendship or the richness of the binding together 13:08 as cords together that would not break under stress. 13:12 Those are the things you want to recount and add to your list 13:17 of things that show that God was rich with you 13:20 during richer or poorer. 13:22 And then we are going to continue with our discussion 13:24 in just a few moments. So stay close by 13:27 and let's enjoy our discussion today. 13:38 There are many how-to books available, but there's one 13:41 that's free and perfect for every couple: 13:43 How You Can Build A Better Marriage. 13:46 Bible-based matrimonial advice is given in a light-hearted, 13:50 easy-to-read manner for those contemplating marriage, 13:53 newlyweds, couples in their golden years, 13:56 and everyone in between. 13:57 Simply call or write 13:59 for your free copy of this 14:00 amazing little booklet. 14:01 A handy little tool 14:03 to help build a better marriage. 14:14 Welcome back to Marriage in God's Hands. 14:18 We've been talking about the expression and what it means 14:22 to our marriage 14:23 when we say "richer or poorer. " 14:27 And we want to make sure that you are with us on that. 14:31 And maybe you have discussed some things in your relationship 14:35 where you have relied upon the richness of 14:38 your married relationship, your friendship, 14:41 God's presence in your home, to make your home richer. 14:45 Not necessarily by monetary means... even though 14:49 God provides for that, doesn't He? 14:51 He does. And I think that if you 14:54 come to your marriage with a 14:56 generous spirit, then God can 14:58 bless you with wealth because He only blesses 15:03 those who have a generous heart. 15:05 And like we often say: "God won't give it to you 15:08 unless He can get it through you. " 15:11 So, marriage is that way, too. 15:14 Sharing who you are with others enriches your marriage. 15:19 Not keeping it all to yourself. 15:21 You know, just me and mine. 15:23 And we sit down at the corner like I did with my 15:26 boyhood friend, and we got his toys 15:31 and he went to one corner - I went to the other corner - 15:34 and the big pile of toys sat in the middle 15:37 no one played with, but we chugged our own toy. 15:40 That's not a very good feeling 15:42 if you take what you have and go to your corner. 15:45 So, marriage is about sharing the good things God has given 15:51 and provides and taking that word. And I think that's 15:55 the word that we are trying to take to other couples. 15:57 That's why we do this ministry. 15:59 We have found the richness of the love of God in our 16:03 relationship, and we want to share it with others. 16:06 And we hope that you are willing to do the same thing 16:09 with what you have received from God. 16:10 Well, I think it's also important, particularly 16:14 in this day and time when we find there are so many 16:18 unmarried people living together. And secondly, 16:22 so many people saying "I'm not going to get married 16:25 because I don't see any happy marriages " 16:28 that it's important for people who are blessed with a joyous, 16:31 happy marriage to go out and share that with other people. 16:35 To show them what God can do with two people 16:38 who are so very different, and that God can bless a marriage 16:42 and that He can make it GO and GROW. 16:45 Well, there's one other aspect that we haven't talked about 16:48 that we have been able to experience a certain richness 16:51 because God has kept us from going completely to the 16:55 poor house... as the old folks would say... 16:58 and allowed us to exist in a manner in which we had enough 17:04 from day to day. Isn't that what He did with 17:06 the children of Israel when they walked though the wilderness? 17:09 There was never enough that they could call themselves prosperous 17:13 and rich with money, but they were never without 17:15 what they needed to make it through a day. 17:18 But God gave us something to share with more than just other 17:23 married couples. There are some singles that God 17:26 puts in this world because by either divorce or death 17:31 or separation of some sort or either not getting married 17:36 some people are single in life. 17:38 And we have taken the opportunity to reach out 17:41 for some of those that were single and bring them into 17:44 our marriage and into our home to help them feel welcome 17:48 and to help give them a place where they can say 17:52 they, too, are part of family even though they don't have 17:55 another self like we have enjoyed with each other. 17:59 But I don't think that it's been one-sided - 18:03 um-hmm - because I've seen the opportunity 18:05 then for our children to be blessed 18:07 because we both come from rather small families. 18:12 And so it's extended our family and so our children have a lot 18:16 of aunts and uncles that they wouldn't have. 18:19 So it's been a blessing on both sides. 18:22 Well, a lot of people don't understand this thing about 18:24 aunts and uncles. In some cultures we accumulate 18:29 aunts and uncles that are surrogate because we like... 18:33 they give us a family feel and they are there for us. 18:36 We call them aunts and we call them uncles 18:39 even though they are not related by blood. Exactly. 18:42 But they cause themselves to be related because they don't 18:44 mind - exactly - being a part of our family in a secondary tier 18:49 of family membership that's outside of the blood that flows 18:54 within us but now the blood of Christ then joins us 18:58 one with the other. 18:59 But there is a richness in sharing with others. 19:02 Um-hmm. And in opening your home and in opening your marriage. 19:06 You've got to feel safe with your mate 19:09 in order to invite someone else, be it male or female, 19:13 into your marriage to be a friend. 19:17 A lot of marriages don't have that blessing. 19:20 They are not rich with the assurance of Christ 19:23 and the assurance of one another's love. 19:25 And I think that we have done that. 19:26 That we can be safe with each other and invite others in 19:30 without feeling like that person is going to take away from me 19:33 anything if they are here in our home. 19:37 Don't you think probably that's a safe thing for us to say? 19:40 Oh, I think so. I can think of a number of 19:44 my friends who are single and female who have called and said 19:49 "I'm getting ready to buy a new car" - or what have you. 19:52 "Could your husband come because people respect you more 19:56 if there's a male along. " And you trotted along to 19:59 be the male figure, and I'm very comfortable with that. 20:04 And they are very comfortable with calling and asking. 20:07 And I think that that's a part of the blessing of having 20:10 that extended family circle. 20:13 And I know that it has been important now that 20:16 we only have a parent between us and it happens to be 20:20 my mother. So, I think that that has been a blessing. 20:24 Well those are blessings because we have a generous God. 20:28 And there's a text that is here that we want to share 20:33 about that generous God and what He does. 20:35 It says: "It won't be long before the generous God 20:39 who has great plans for us in Christ, 20:42 eternal and glorious plans they are, will have you 20:46 put together and on your feet for good. " 20:52 So no matter what's going on today, God has plans for you. 20:56 So if you're going through a poorer period, 20:58 He has a time in which He is going to put you up on your feet 21:02 and make it firm. And He says... the final word says... 21:06 "He gets the last word. Yes, He does! " 21:10 And that's I Peter 5:10 and that's The Message Paraphrase. 21:14 God does get the last word. When you include Him in your lives, 21:18 then you don't have to be concerned because God will 21:22 always step in and reveal His plan and give you and end that 21:27 was better than your beginning. 21:29 Yes. And the wonderful thing about our God is that 21:32 He promises that He can do above that which you can ask 21:35 or imagine. And that's one of my 21:38 favorite passages of scripture. 21:40 And here it says: "He gets 21:42 the last word. " That's right! 21:43 How exciting to know that! 21:45 And to know that if you've got your hand in God's hand, 21:49 that He's going to get the last word. 21:51 And His word is always the best word. 21:53 So that increases also and reveals what 21:58 the richer/poorer is about. 22:01 God is always there, and there can never be 22:05 a part of you that can ever 22:08 be given away. God would not 22:10 allow anything to happen to you 22:12 because you are His child 22:14 and He's got plans for you. 22:15 And when you are a part of His life as a married couple, 22:19 then He's got His hands around both of you. 22:21 Remember that sacred circle? Yes. 22:23 It brings glory to God for Him to prosper you. 22:26 It speaks well of Him for there to be that joy, that contentment 22:32 in your life. I Timothy 6:6 tells us that. 22:36 It says: "Yet true godliness, with contentment, 22:40 is itself great wealth. " 22:44 We don't often look at contentment as wealth. 22:47 But you watch people who have a lot of material wealth 22:52 but yet lose health or don't have friendships 22:55 or have difficulties in life in which they don't know God. 22:59 And so, there's not contentment in having the wealth of the 23:04 world. But to have a wealth of relationship with God... 23:07 God provides that happiness and peace that comes. 23:11 Well, I think also couples need to realize 23:13 that you cannot spend your marriage and your time 23:18 in your marriage in competing with whoever and whatever. 23:23 Yes. That a marriage is spent in developing a love for each 23:27 other, a love for Christ, and in building a family. 23:31 And that's what true contentment is. 23:34 In being happy in what you are blessed with 23:37 and with each other, and not looking around 23:40 to see what other people have. 23:43 And too often in our society we're comparing ourselves with 23:47 other people... not in being happy with what we have. 23:51 So, instead of filling your life with things 23:55 and concern about procuring or storing up 24:01 or hoarding things, it's better to allow the freedom and 24:07 contentment to come because God provides you with 24:10 one another and will provide your coupleness with everything 24:14 that you need to be rich in the things that are most important 24:20 that you can take from this earth to the heavenly kingdom. 24:23 Definitely. And while you are sharing each other 24:29 then share what you have with those around you. 24:32 Because the Lord promises you that you'll never run out 24:36 because He is the source. 24:38 And, just as He provided the children of Israel 24:42 with manna every day sufficient for their needs, 24:45 He will take care of you. 24:47 Isn't that what He says? 24:49 "Consider the lilies of the field... 24:51 the sparrows... they don't ever have to worry, 24:55 and I will take care of you. " 24:56 So, even though that applies to a personal relationship, 25:01 it also applies to a marriage relationship. 25:05 Because it's a promise that God will keep your relationship 25:08 rich and giving - yes - if you become that individual. 25:13 Remember, it's very important that you establish your own 25:16 relationship with the Lord as well as your mate. 25:19 Your spouse should have their place with God 25:22 and their time with Him as well as you. 25:25 And then when the two of you are together, 25:27 God blesses the relationship that you have with each other 25:31 even more so because you enter it on a sacred 25:35 and very, very resilient cord... silver cord of attachment 25:40 to God. And He does give us silver cords. 25:44 They're not just common cords, are they? 25:46 Not at all. They're very rich cords that hold us together. 25:49 John 10:10 says: "Don't worry about the things 25:53 on this earth. The thief's purpose is to steal 25:57 and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them 26:01 a rich and satisfying life. " 26:04 God has made that promise. 26:06 We want to claim that promise today. 26:08 Don't you want to claim that promise for your marriage? 26:11 For your home? Let's pray for a moment. 26:17 We thank you, dear Lord, for the provision 26:20 that you have given and provided us across the years. 26:25 And yet there are many who are blessed by You, dear Lord, 26:29 because they reach out to you continually. 26:31 We pray not only in thanksgiving for your presence in our lives 26:36 but in the presence of so many marriages that have been 26:40 generous on behalf of God. 26:42 And Lord, we know that You are the constant source of blessings 26:47 and that as long as we trust in You, You will continue to 26:51 bless us. Help us to share everything that You give 26:55 with those with whom we come in contact. 26:57 We pray this in the name of Jesus, Amen and Amen. 27:03 We certainly hope that you are joining us in prayer from time 27:07 to time and that your prayer is about your relationship 27:11 as well as praying for us and the many married couples 27:16 across this nation. We ask of you to continue that support 27:21 and that prayer. And also reach out and be generous 27:25 with others around you. Let them know the joy and the 27:29 contentment and peace because you have great wealth in Christ 27:35 in your relationship for richer or for poorer. 27:38 May God keep His hand in your marriage. 27:42 And God bless you to continue to stay with Him. |
Revised 2014-12-17