Welcome to
Marriage in God's Hands.
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I'm Willie Lee, your host, and
our co-host for today is Wilma.
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Wilma Lee. Welcome, and
today we're going to talk about
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the marriage dialogue.
Welcome, and we're excited
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to have you with us.
Of course, we're excited.
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And we hope that you and
your spouse are ready to join us
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today. And as we begin,
let's go to God in prayer
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and ask Him for His help
in our message for today.
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Dear Lord, we are grateful
to know that as our Father
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you have already prepared for
this day and for our benefit.
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And we pray that you
will enter into our dialogue
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so that we'll hear the
dialogue of heaven and will know
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that You are with us in our
growth toward being like Christ.
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We are thankful that you
have given us the promise of the
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Holy Spirit never to
leave us alone and to give us
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a Comforter. We
rejoice in that promise
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and we thank you in
the lovely name of Jesus,
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Amen. Amen.
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It is our custom to dialogue
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because it's something that we
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have been practicing and doing
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for quite a while as a couple.
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And today we are ready to
share some things about dialogue
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and what dialogue is all
about and the benefit of it.
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And what God has to
say about our conversation
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and communication with
each other as a couple.
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We make us think that we should
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practice, and don't people just
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talk to each other? Don't
couples just talk to each other?
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I'm sure they do, and
that's probably not what we are
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really talking about. We
are talking about the fact
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that there needs to be
more intention in how we talk
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to each other because
things can escalate and develop
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into uncomfortable and painful
expressions one to another
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if we get into heated
arguments or anger takes over.
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We need to be careful to make
sure that we can hear each other
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and feel what's coming from one
another and be able to converse.
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Because God says in Ephesians
4, and I am reading from the
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New Living Translation, that
we ought to be careful about
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how we talk. It says:
"Don't sin by letting anger gain
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control over you. Don't let the
sun go down while you are still
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angry for anger gives a
mighty foothold to the devil. "
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And then it says in verse 29:
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"Don't use foul or abusive
language. Let everything you
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say be good and helpful
so that your words will be an
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encouragement to
those who hear them. "
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A lot of times our words to each
other when we are feeling very
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rough or very hurtful about
something that has been done
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or said, sometimes our language
does not always come across
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in a way where
it's an encouragement.
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But at home you can say
anything you want to the people
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you live with because
they understand... and so
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you don't really have to
be careful about your words.
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Well I think we found out
something different, didn't we?
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We certainly did! We
found out that at home
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especially... We put on our
best behavior a lot of times
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when we are away from each
other but we let down our guard
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and we drop any pretense
when we are at home, and we just
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let it out... and we
end up hurting each other.
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It's not a very
encouraging environment.
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And I don't know if you have
experienced that in your home
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but in most homes that we
have dealt with couples...
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they are really concerned
about the kind of conversation
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that they have. So we
want to talk about that today.
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Because even in Proverbs
the 15th chapter and verse 1
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we are told that we
ought to be careful about how
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we talk because we need to make
sure that we use soft answers
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to turn away wrath and anger.
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And we can appreciate
that because we have learned
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that there is a better
way. Well, you know, I think
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that often times in our homes
it's like saving the good china
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for company and the
good things for company.
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And we do that with the
good words and the kind words.
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We only bring
those out for company,
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and we forget that those
that are near and dear to us
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need to have those fine things
brought out and used every day.
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Even when we don't
feel near and dear?
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ESPECIALLY when we don't
feel near and dear. Exactly!
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We have to remember that
God created us in His image,
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so we have to restore that image
in our communication as well.
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And that's what we're
here to talk about today.
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We're going to get into some of
those elements of communication,
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some of those things that we
ought to be more careful about
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and intentional about so
that our speech and our language
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that we use will help to provide
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an ease of conflict
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and not so much
pain and discomfort
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when we are trying to discuss
things that are hurting us.
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Well, maybe we ought
to begin with dialogue -
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all right, let's do that -
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Because dialogue implies that
there are two people involved.
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Ahhh, yes.
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Sometimes we don't talk like
the other person has anything
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to say or anything to share.
But, yes, dialogue does mean
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that it has to be two people
in conversation with each other.
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So that means one
person can't go on... and on...
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and on... and on...
because you know what happens?
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The other person just kind of
clicks off and goes to all the
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pretty places in their head.
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Well, that might be in
some temperaments. Of course,
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they may not go to
pretty... they may interrupt.
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They may immediately
respond in a way that says
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I'm not hearing that. I don't
care what you're going to say
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from now on because what
you just said was more important
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to me than anything
you can say afterwards,
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and I don't like what you say.
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So... But there's a
way to control that flow.
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There's a way to bring a measure
where there is some equality
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and equity involved in our
conversation in that we each
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have a turn, we each have
an opportunity to express,
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we each have an opportunity
to hear and to be heard.
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So those are very important
things, and we want you to
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understand some of them.
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So maybe we need to talk
about what happens when you
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communicate effectively.
Ah, so effective communication
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is what we're
talking about today.
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And I think that's important
because that's what God is
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saying. He wants the
effect to be that we leave our
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conversations encouraged.
That we are not angry so that
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we are allowing the devil
to come in and to work our
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temperaments in such a
way that we lose control
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and allow sin to take
place. Anger is an emotion
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that can be expressed, but it
needs to be expressed in a way
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that reflects the image of God.
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Well, let's just talk about
the things that happen - right -
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when we
communicate. Let's do that.
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People think that being a great
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communicator means that
you are able to use words.
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All right. But what I have
learned is that words are only
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7% of communication.
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Ah, that's not a
whole lot, is it?
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No. If I were having a
piece of pie and you offered me
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pie and I only got 7%, I
don't think I'd be real pleased.
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So out of 100% of being
effective at communicating,
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and to only use words and
not realize that there are
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other components, means
that we are falling way short
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of being an
effective communicator in our
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relationship. And that's
what we want to work on. Right.
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And then if you add
tone of voice to words, OK,
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you only get...
How much do you think?
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Well, I would guess that tone
of voice would mean a whole lot
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because sometimes tone
does determine whether or not
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I'm on alert or
whether I'm lulled to sleep.
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Well, what do you think
the percentage would be?
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Well, since I know the
percentage, I'm going to
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go ahead and share it. OK!
It's going to be something like
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about maybe 36%, somewhere
around that. All right.
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36% effectiveness if you
use good tone intonation.
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So that when you are
angry you hit an angry tone.
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When you're sad,
there's a sad tone.
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When you are trying to
say something important,
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you elevate the tone.
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And that puts some meaning
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to the words. All right.
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Because tone does... so...
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when you add that up, it only
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comes to what? Less than half!
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Less than half: 45%.
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45% when you are
using words and intonation.
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That means there is still
something missing from having
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effective communication.
So, when you have less than
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half and you want to be
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an effective communicator,
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what do you need?
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Well, let's talk
about some of those things.
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I think we are talking
about the area of non-verbals:
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those things that take
place when you are talking.
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Because some of you are
listening to our tone of voice
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right now. You
are hearing our words,
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but there is another element.
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You are looking
at our expressions.
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You see expressions on our
faces. You see body language.
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We are turned toward each other.
You see gestures: the use of
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the hands. You see
eye contact. Umm hmm.
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Those are things that
you don't have to say a word
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but can communicate using those.
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I guess, body position. True.
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I can't turn my
back on you right now...
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but I could do this... Oh, my!
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That means that you are closed.
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That means that you are not very
happy with what you are hearing.
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True. Is that
true? No, of course not.
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So, but it does express that.
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If you don't mean it,
then don't do it, right?
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Please. So those
are some of the things,
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and we are not going to
go through all of them today.
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But we have to
learn that these parts of,
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of I guess,
effective communication
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- umm hmm - all add up to 55%.
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So a person can
actually watch your non-verbals
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and determine far more
than listening to your words
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or your intonation of voice.
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And the interesting
thing about non-verbals is that
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if they contradict
what you are saying,
00:11:26.54\00:11:28.93
people believe the non-verbals.
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Ahhh. And you know why that is?
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Because you can't
control your non-verbals.
00:11:33.88\00:11:36.60
That's right. Non-verbals
come out of who you are
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deep inside. They're
actually an autonomic
00:11:40.68\00:11:45.22
response of our system.
And our brain makes our body
00:11:45.49\00:11:51.33
do certain things that
we don't even think about.
00:11:51.43\00:11:55.30
We don't even plan
it... but they happen.
00:11:55.40\00:11:57.74
I remember one time my
wife told me that I was sighing
00:11:57.94\00:12:03.80
every time certain
people were talking.
00:12:03.90\00:12:06.83
Whenever that person
talked that I would sigh deeply.
00:12:06.93\00:12:10.09
Loudly, loudly... and loudly.
00:12:10.29\00:12:12.28
I didn't even
realize I was doing it!
00:12:12.58\00:12:14.47
But that was my
response - yes - to that person
00:12:14.68\00:12:18.28
and the way that they
were communicating. Yes.
00:12:18.38\00:12:21.16
And I didn't want to
give myself away but I was
00:12:21.36\00:12:25.83
giving myself away because
I wasn't stopping to think.
00:12:25.97\00:12:29.48
Fortunately, that
person didn't read non-verbals.
00:12:29.58\00:12:32.71
Well, I had to think about what
I was feeling about that person
00:12:33.87\00:12:37.63
as well because it was coming
through in a non-verbal way.
00:12:37.73\00:12:40.57
And it happens with us. So
these are some of the things
00:12:40.67\00:12:43.71
we are going to talk about,
and we want you to realize
00:12:43.81\00:12:46.13
that as we talk about these
things that we are going to
00:12:46.23\00:12:48.87
apply them to communication
between husbands and wives.
00:12:48.97\00:12:54.52
Spousal conversations sometimes
have all these elements in them,
00:12:54.72\00:12:59.62
and they take on a
greater meaning than we think.
00:12:59.72\00:13:02.87
So, we want you to be prepared.
So if that other person
00:13:03.07\00:13:08.58
in your spousal
relationship is not there,
00:13:08.68\00:13:11.34
tell them to come to watch
and to hear and to understand
00:13:11.44\00:13:17.12
what we are sharing.
Because it takes two people
00:13:17.22\00:13:19.61
to have couple dialogue.
And after you are sitting down
00:13:19.71\00:13:24.17
comfortably, we'll be right back
and, with Wilma, we'll continue
00:13:24.27\00:13:27.94
to talk about
effective communication.
00:13:28.04\00:13:31.06
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Welcome back to
Marriage in God's Hands.
00:14:16.75\00:14:19.68
We've been talking about
00:14:19.88\00:14:21.40
the marriage dialogue
00:14:21.50\00:14:23.80
and, as we have been talking
about effective communication,
00:14:23.90\00:14:27.99
we have talked about what
the Bible has to say about that.
00:14:28.09\00:14:31.27
But we are also talking about
the elements or the components
00:14:31.37\00:14:34.63
of effective communication.
And just to review briefly,
00:14:34.73\00:14:37.88
we have been labeling
some of those as verbal,
00:14:37.99\00:14:42.70
non-verbal - um hmm.
Verbal includes tone of voice
00:14:42.91\00:14:47.60
as well as words. Um-hmm.
And they all go to make up
00:14:47.70\00:14:51.36
when you put it together
with non-verbal, what we call
00:14:51.46\00:14:55.03
effective communication...
being 100% effective
00:14:55.14\00:14:57.78
in your communication. But
the one thing we haven't said
00:14:57.88\00:15:01.25
is how we can communicate
effectively, sometimes more
00:15:01.35\00:15:07.27
effectively, by just
using non-verbals and what it...
00:15:07.37\00:15:10.01
what it really says about
us when we are being effective
00:15:10.11\00:15:14.20
with non-verbals. Let's talk
about that for just a moment
00:15:14.30\00:15:18.72
before we go on.
Because it is possible
00:15:18.82\00:15:22.17
as a person in
the couple dialogue,
00:15:22.27\00:15:27.95
that the person who is not
talking can be a very effective
00:15:28.58\00:15:32.15
communicator with non-verbals.
00:15:32.25\00:15:35.63
That's true. And that means that
00:15:35.73\00:15:37.29
you are listening attentively
00:15:37.39\00:15:40.56
without adding
anything to the conversation.
00:15:40.66\00:15:44.74
That's right. And sometimes,
especially in the couple
00:15:44.91\00:15:47.60
dialogue, one thing
that we hadn't mentioned,
00:15:47.70\00:15:50.78
even though we talked
about the eye contact and the
00:15:50.88\00:15:53.05
body position. We talked about
gestures, facial expressions,
00:15:53.15\00:15:57.77
and so on. But one thing we
didn't talk about was touch.
00:15:57.87\00:16:01.36
And sometimes touch says
a lot too that's non-verbal
00:16:01.56\00:16:05.33
when you're a couple and
talking. And the person who's
00:16:05.43\00:16:09.46
listening and
touching, with good eye contact,
00:16:09.56\00:16:13.84
and with all of the correct
body positioning, expresses
00:16:13.94\00:16:18.40
something. What is that that
you express to me when you are
00:16:18.58\00:16:21.99
listening to me right now
with all of those non-verbals?
00:16:22.22\00:16:24.87
That you are important to
me. That I care about you.
00:16:25.14\00:16:28.67
And that I want to
know what you're feeling.
00:16:28.77\00:16:31.11
All right. And that
makes it very effective and
00:16:31.31\00:16:34.05
you might want to do that
and look at that in your own
00:16:34.16\00:16:37.94
relationship when you are in
conversation and talking about
00:16:38.04\00:16:42.69
something that is meaningful.
We're not talking about
00:16:42.79\00:16:45.54
communication on a level that
is a little bit more trite...
00:16:45.64\00:16:49.81
not as deeply
involved with one another.
00:16:49.91\00:16:53.10
But we're talking
about expressing feelings...
00:16:53.30\00:16:57.35
not opinions about the world.
00:16:57.55\00:17:00.98
Not an idea of just
talking to pass the time away
00:17:01.29\00:17:07.19
but communicating about
what's going on inside of me
00:17:07.39\00:17:11.27
that I need to share with you
so that you will know who I am
00:17:11.37\00:17:14.84
and what I'm feeling. So, what's
the difference between sharing
00:17:14.94\00:17:19.47
opinions and feelings?
Well, I think sharing opinions
00:17:19.57\00:17:23.41
and feelings...
opinions are important because
00:17:23.51\00:17:25.76
they tell what we
feel about the world.
00:17:25.86\00:17:29.00
But when I share my feelings,
it shares who I really am
00:17:29.20\00:17:33.51
and what is
going on inside of me -
00:17:33.71\00:17:37.63
not my expression about
what's going on somewhere else.
00:17:37.73\00:17:41.32
And it's important in
communicating to one another
00:17:41.42\00:17:44.49
that we as a
couple, as a married couple,
00:17:44.59\00:17:48.04
that we actually are putting
our fingers on how we're feeling
00:17:48.14\00:17:53.28
about each other and about
the relationship that we have.
00:17:53.38\00:17:56.57
Well, when things are happening
how do I know when I'm sharing
00:17:56.77\00:18:02.06
a feeling and not an opinion?
00:18:02.16\00:18:04.00
Well, you are going to have
to tell me that because you must
00:18:04.20\00:18:07.46
express what's going on in you.
00:18:07.56\00:18:10.07
Well, if I say
"I think, " um-hmm,
00:18:10.27\00:18:13.16
something's happening, is that
an opinion or is that a feeling?
00:18:13.47\00:18:17.96
It sounds like an opinion to me.
00:18:18.16\00:18:19.42
If you are thinking about
something, then that's just
00:18:19.62\00:18:22.95
something intellectual. Hmmm.
But when you say "I feel... "
00:18:23.05\00:18:27.52
or "I am, " then you are telling
me about something that you are.
00:18:27.62\00:18:33.16
Oh, so there is a difference
even in the words that are used
00:18:33.36\00:18:37.46
- yes - when you
express feelings and opinions.
00:18:37.66\00:18:42.03
That's right. But there's
another set of words, too,
00:18:42.13\00:18:45.80
that are often used by couples
00:18:45.90\00:18:49.69
that create an
ineffective environment for good
00:18:49.79\00:18:54.00
communication, and that's when
I tell you what you ought to be
00:18:54.10\00:18:59.90
feeling and what
you ought to be doing.
00:19:00.00\00:19:02.25
And... Oh, you mean
you can't preach to me?
00:19:02.36\00:19:05.68
Oh, well why yes, we even
do that. We even read the Bible
00:19:05.88\00:19:09.13
and say: "This is
what God tells you to do. "
00:19:09.23\00:19:11.16
But once again, I think the
words - the word differences -
00:19:11.56\00:19:15.64
that when I am expressing
I need to use "I " phrases:
00:19:15.74\00:19:19.52
Oh... "I feel, " "I am. "
00:19:19.62\00:19:21.65
instead of words that
connote or that express "YOU. "
00:19:21.75\00:19:26.36
"YOU " is sort of
kind of an accusatory.
00:19:26.47\00:19:28.87
It's like putting the
finger in the face and
00:19:28.97\00:19:31.41
telling you what
you ought to be doing
00:19:31.54\00:19:33.15
and what you're doing
wrong. Hmmm, I don't like that.
00:19:33.25\00:19:37.09
It's not a very
good thing, is it? No!
00:19:37.19\00:19:39.06
So we need to stay away
when we are expressing feelings
00:19:39.16\00:19:43.94
from telling the person
what they ought to be doing
00:19:44.04\00:19:48.34
but rather expressing what I'm
feeling as a result of what's
00:19:48.45\00:19:52.22
happening or what's being said.
I guess this goes back to where
00:19:52.32\00:19:55.88
we talk about practice, because
I remember when we were first
00:19:55.98\00:19:59.97
introduced to
dialogue, and I did practice.
00:20:00.07\00:20:04.58
Here we go with
temperaments again.
00:20:04.68\00:20:06.87
And I remember practicing
what I was going to say to you
00:20:06.97\00:20:11.40
and how you were
going to respond, I hoped.
00:20:11.50\00:20:16.11
And what I was going to
say in response so that when
00:20:16.21\00:20:19.85
we were together I'd know
how to do this dialogue thing.
00:20:19.96\00:20:24.66
And, of course, you know you
are very, usually predictable.
00:20:25.06\00:20:31.00
Thank you, I guess. So
your part was pretty good,
00:20:31.10\00:20:36.65
but then I didn't
always get my part real well.
00:20:36.75\00:20:40.06
And I remember you
saying to me one time:
00:20:40.16\00:20:42.59
"But this is not dialogue. "
00:20:42.70\00:20:44.75
And I remember saying:
"I don't want to dialogue.
00:20:44.95\00:20:47.11
I just want to
tell you what I feel. "
00:20:47.22\00:20:49.71
But eventually I learned that
being able to share what I felt
00:20:51.00\00:20:56.82
in a very calm way and
talking about what I really felt
00:20:56.92\00:21:01.44
and not expressing
opinions was very effective.
00:21:01.54\00:21:05.24
And that you didn't do
this when I began to talk about
00:21:05.34\00:21:10.29
my feelings. Because I
realized when I learned to read
00:21:10.39\00:21:14.84
non-verbals that sometimes
I was making you do this
00:21:14.94\00:21:18.82
rather than do this. And
that does make a difference,
00:21:18.92\00:21:23.27
doesn't it? Yes, it does!
00:21:23.37\00:21:24.65
A lot of times you might
find out in your relationships
00:21:24.76\00:21:28.06
and in your communication,
if you are watching
00:21:28.16\00:21:31.48
and listening to
your partner, your spouse,
00:21:31.58\00:21:36.62
if the reaction is
not a good reaction,
00:21:36.72\00:21:39.67
you might discuss well what's
happening, what's going on
00:21:39.77\00:21:41.99
that you feel. What
are you feeling right now?
00:21:42.10\00:21:44.52
The use of feeling words is
better to use than, as it says
00:21:44.72\00:21:49.40
in the 29th
verse of Ephesians 5,
00:21:49.50\00:21:52.34
using abusive language. A lot
of times we fall into the habit
00:21:52.44\00:21:56.49
of using abusive language.
God says that's not good.
00:21:56.60\00:22:00.28
And the language of the Bible
expresses that as brought out
00:22:00.38\00:22:03.18
so well in the
New Living Translation
00:22:03.28\00:22:05.25
that we can be abusive to
our spouses if we are using
00:22:05.45\00:22:10.30
language that is abusive
or attitudes or emotions that
00:22:10.43\00:22:14.52
are abusive or treating
the other person unkindly
00:22:14.62\00:22:18.54
and less than encouraging. So we
need to be careful about that.
00:22:18.64\00:22:21.35
Well, I don't know if it's
always abusive or less than
00:22:21.55\00:22:27.31
encouraging. I think that
because our society is of such,
00:22:27.41\00:22:31.69
sometimes it's frightening
00:22:31.83\00:22:34.74
because, you know, I'm planted
00:22:34.84\00:22:37.30
pretty close to the water
and so tears run pretty freely.
00:22:37.40\00:22:41.48
And I think that maybe you were
a bit frightened by the tears?
00:22:41.68\00:22:46.50
Well, that's
another part of feeling.
00:22:46.70\00:22:50.09
Tears do express feeling.
00:22:51.32\00:22:53.22
Yes. And sometimes it is
00:22:53.42\00:22:55.03
threatening more than abusive
00:22:55.13\00:22:57.72
um-hmm - to the other person
00:22:58.02\00:22:59.17
because they want to
own the tears, and sometimes
00:22:59.27\00:23:02.18
the ownership of the tears
truly are the person who is
00:23:02.28\00:23:06.73
crying. And not necessarily
caused by another individual
00:23:06.83\00:23:11.45
who is talking to them. So,
those are the things that need
00:23:11.55\00:23:14.71
to be discussed. A
couple of other elements
00:23:14.81\00:23:17.35
that I think are important
because time is involved
00:23:17.45\00:23:20.14
in this. Setting aside
the right amount of time
00:23:20.24\00:23:22.80
with not having
interference or interruption.
00:23:22.90\00:23:26.69
That's back to your intimate
relationship. That's right.
00:23:26.79\00:23:29.86
We're going back to creating
an intimate environment.
00:23:29.96\00:23:32.92
Also, not cutting the person
off before they are finishing
00:23:33.12\00:23:37.40
what they are saying. Not
trying to finish their thoughts
00:23:37.50\00:23:41.77
or trying to think of
what you're going to say
00:23:41.97\00:23:45.14
rather than
listening to what's being said.
00:23:45.24\00:23:47.86
These are things we
have learned - yes -
00:23:48.16\00:23:50.70
that have helped us to be more
effective - yes - in listening
00:23:50.90\00:23:54.54
as well as in sharing.
And, of course, that sharing
00:23:54.64\00:23:57.89
is not talking so long that the
other person never has a chance
00:23:57.99\00:24:02.81
to reflect what they just heard
- true - so that you can know
00:24:02.92\00:24:06.84
that you are being heard.
And I think that when we go back
00:24:06.94\00:24:10.49
to looking at the
equation of the sacred circle
00:24:10.59\00:24:14.10
and the relationship
that one has with God,
00:24:14.21\00:24:17.38
God says: "Be still
and know that I am God. "
00:24:17.49\00:24:21.73
Because you need to
listen to Him first.
00:24:21.93\00:24:24.81
That's how you
learn how to listen.
00:24:25.01\00:24:27.05
And so you learn that skill by
listening to what God has to say
00:24:27.25\00:24:31.17
to you. So then you can bring
that to learning how to listen
00:24:31.27\00:24:34.76
to your spouse.
00:24:34.86\00:24:36.39
You've just shared
something that's very important.
00:24:36.59\00:24:38.55
And I don't know if
you intentionally did that,
00:24:38.75\00:24:42.53
but I need to
share that with others.
00:24:42.63\00:24:45.03
And that is: communicating
is a skill that can be learned.
00:24:45.23\00:24:49.81
It is not automatic.
00:24:50.01\00:24:52.05
It is not because you go to
church and you love God that you
00:24:52.25\00:24:55.81
will have it. You need to
be intentional about learning
00:24:55.91\00:24:59.53
good communication skills
because a lot of things we learn
00:24:59.63\00:25:04.71
in the families of origin.
Um-hmm. Sometimes we learn
00:25:05.54\00:25:09.66
the wrong way of communication
or ineffective communication.
00:25:09.76\00:25:14.19
And we just think that however
it was done in my family,
00:25:14.30\00:25:17.94
or the way I'm used to
doing it, is going to be OK.
00:25:18.04\00:25:21.20
But then you bring two people
together from two different
00:25:21.30\00:25:24.16
families, two
different sets of expectations,
00:25:24.27\00:25:26.73
BAM! Then we've got explosions
and we've got difficulty.
00:25:26.83\00:25:31.19
And it's a block and a
barrier to creating the kind of
00:25:31.29\00:25:34.71
environment that is a loving,
encouraging environment - yes -
00:25:34.82\00:25:38.34
in marriage. Yes! And
that's what we want to achieve.
00:25:38.44\00:25:41.52
And really, that's one
of the other advantages of
00:25:41.66\00:25:45.08
pre-marriage education because
this is the place to learn
00:25:45.18\00:25:48.53
effective communication
skills for couples.
00:25:48.63\00:25:51.53
And it's also a good
precursor to understanding
00:25:51.73\00:25:56.26
that when we are on
an understanding level
00:25:56.36\00:25:58.67
or if we are having difficulty
there's always one conversation
00:25:58.77\00:26:02.44
that will help in
all of our communication,
00:26:02.54\00:26:05.61
and that is talking to God.
00:26:05.71\00:26:07.58
Why don't we do that
right now? Why don't we?
00:26:07.68\00:26:09.73
Thank you, Lord, for
hearing us and knowing us
00:26:09.93\00:26:13.44
as your children who are trying
to live a life of marriage
00:26:13.54\00:26:17.44
according to Your will.
00:26:17.54\00:26:18.78
Help us to be more
responsive to each other
00:26:18.88\00:26:21.82
as marriage partners
in our communication.
00:26:21.93\00:26:25.58
And may we develop those skills
according to Your Holy Spirit's
00:26:25.69\00:26:29.54
power. And thank you,
Lord, for not only hearing
00:26:29.64\00:26:33.32
but thank you,
Lord, for speaking to us.
00:26:33.42\00:26:36.59
And thank you for
sharing Your love with us.
00:26:36.69\00:26:39.26
We pray in the lovely
name of Jesus, Amen and Amen.
00:26:39.36\00:26:43.65
There are some things that
we have discussed that perhaps
00:26:45.08\00:26:48.82
need to be discussed in
your home... in your marriage.
00:26:48.92\00:26:52.80
And remember the sacred circle.
00:26:52.90\00:26:54.63
These are things that
ought to be taken into the
00:26:54.74\00:26:58.52
private setting of your private
place as husband and wife.
00:26:58.62\00:27:02.94
Discussions of this type should
not be in front of the children.
00:27:03.04\00:27:08.70
They should not be out in
front of public or those who are
00:27:08.80\00:27:11.90
outside of that sacred circle.
00:27:12.00\00:27:13.31
You and the Lord
must work on these things.
00:27:13.41\00:27:16.31
We have found that effective.
Yes, because often times
00:27:16.41\00:27:20.19
when you work on
things together with the Lord
00:27:20.29\00:27:23.86
He speaks to you in ways
you can't even begin to imagine.
00:27:23.96\00:27:27.92
That's right. And if you're
listening, you'll be able to
00:27:28.02\00:27:31.62
hear and to pass along what
you've learned to your spouse.
00:27:31.72\00:27:35.27
We thank you so
much for being with us.
00:27:35.57\00:27:38.10
We hope we've been
helpful, and we know that your
00:27:38.20\00:27:41.84
communication will be
more effective. God bless you.
00:27:41.94\00:27:44.66