Welcome to
Marriage in God's Hands.
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I'm Willie Lee, your
host for this program,
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and my co-host, of
course, is my partner...
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and that's Wilma Lee.
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Welcome! Today we're
going to talk about intimacy...
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a re-definition.
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Before we begin, let's
just offer a word of prayer.
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Dear Lord, it's so good
to have you in our lives.
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We don't know what
we would do without you.
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But since we don't have
to, we'll rejoice and celebrate
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your presence even as we
talk today about how we can stay
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in Your hands and follow
Your plan for our marriage.
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In Jesus' name, Amen.
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Now that we have established
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that God has a plan, and that
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plan can help us rejoice
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along the way... can help us
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celebrate. We want you to also
understand that there are some
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components to marriage in
God's hands that will make it
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very special. It's not
a component that we are
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unaware of. It's just that this
particular component has been
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profaned by the world
and it has become something
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other than what God planned.
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Yes, well, marriage totally
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has become other than what
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God has planned.
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And it's our joy and delight
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when we talk about marriage
in God's hands to talk about
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restoring the
whole image of marriage.
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And so we have to talk about
restoring the image of God in
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marriage because, you know, it's
fascinating to me to find out
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what marriages cost now
days. No, I should back that up
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and say what weddings cost...
- there you go, all right -
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now days... because
people only plan for a wedding,
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they do not plan for a marriage.
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Well, what we are talking
about today really doesn't cost
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because we know that after that
special day that is supposed
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to be in the world the epitome
and the peak of marriage...
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it's the zenith of marriage...
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and it usually goes
downhill from there.
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God's plan has it
just the opposite.
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A wedding is just the
commencement, just the beginning
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and then it takes
off and forever goes up.
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But we must have what God
started in the beginning with
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Adam and Eve. Yes.
Because we found out that
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even after sin, we read in
Genesis the 3rd chapter and
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verse 8, that God came walking
in the garden like He usually
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does, looking Adam and
Eve and couldn't find them.
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So, there was an intimate
relationship that they had
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together AND with God.
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So that intimacy is what
we're going to talk about today
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because we need to re-define
it back in the image of God.
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And so, first and foremost,
that means that intimacy does
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not just mean sex.
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Oh, my, she said
the word, didn't she?
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But yet isn't that where the
world, isn't that what you have
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found out: that intimacy must
be defined according to whoever
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wants to promote a special
something you wear or something
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you put on or an
activity that you do?
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That if it doesn't reach
that that the world has ascribed
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that it's erotic...
that there is not intimacy
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unless you do that? The world
has sort of put us in a mold.
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We want to break that
mold today a little bit,
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and go back to
God's plan for intimacy.
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And God's plan was that
there would be a man and a woman
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and Him. And so that
first defines intimacy:
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that there must be God in
the middle and a man and a woman
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who are walking
and talking with God.
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So, communication is in
the center of that, but...
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it's more than just talking,
it's more than just walking...
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even though today there are a
lot of activities that I'm sure
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you enjoy that are good physical
activities: walking, talking,
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running and talking.
I guess if I was running
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I wouldn't be
doing a lot of talking!
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I don't think so. I don't
think those two go together.
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I know they wouldn't for me!
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So it has to be a walk
that's a little bit more in line
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with one other in order
to promote more than just the
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physical exercise... it
promotes a heart to heart.
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And so there are some ideals
that God has placed there.
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First of all, I think you
mentioned the fact that it's
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with God, and
that must be promoted.
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There ought to be a spiritual
intimacy that each mate has
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with God. Do you
have time with your Bible?
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Do you as an individual, as
a spouse, go off to yourself
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and read your Bible
and pray about you and God
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and then come back and
have moments of devotion or
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moments of time discussing
and sharing what you have grown
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into in your talk with God?
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There must be an intimate
relationship with God first
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as an individual and
then with each other.
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I think there's a law of physics
- you're right - the closer two
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bodies are to a third body the
closer they are to each other.
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Yes, and God operates within
His laws in all areas of life...
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be it natural law
or the relational laws.
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So, it's amazing to us
and a surprise sometimes
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when God does
exactly the same thing that
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we see in nature.
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But, God hasn't
messed up with nature;
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it's man that
messes up with nature.
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So we need to stop messing
with "Mother Nature, " don't we?
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And do it God's way. Yes!
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So, you have four
components that you share.
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Where will you start with
your sharing of that today?
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Well, before we get
there I'd like to talk about
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the fruits of the
Spirit. OK, let's do that.
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But it comes from the message
because in an intimate marriage
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where we are re-defining, we
have to talk about commitment.
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OK. Because we can't
use the throw-away method
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for an intimate marriage.
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OK. So you are saying
that commitment is one of those
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values that helps to make
for an intimate... How so?
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Because, you know, again, we
have to go back to where we are
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in today's society.
Unfortunately, I've had the
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displeasure of watching
some of these programs like
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Bridezilla. And
it's amazing to me that,
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first of all, anybody would
allow themselves to be filmed
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and secondly... and to
be titled... Bridezilla.
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And secondly, that people would
spend an awful amount of money
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for a day and they have no
clue what they are going to do
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after this day. But
if some of these fellows
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are really going to marry
these women after this behavior,
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I'm afraid, I'm very afraid.
But commitment is not anything
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that's ever discussed
in all of these programs.
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So it seems to me it's like:
Well OK if this doesn't work out
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Hmmmm. OK, so you are
speaking of commitment
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to the concept of marriage as a
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method of staying together,
and building and growing
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forever marriages? YES!
YES! Oh, it's not just for the
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wedding time? NO! But it's
so much fun having weddings.
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NO! It's not just for the
wedding, it's for a life...
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it's for a
life-long relationship.
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There is something about wedding
vows for better, for worse...
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If we didn't even go to the
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richer, poorer, sickness, health
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just for better, worse...
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And you make it through all
of those in your marriage, too.
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You DO get through all
of those. That's right.
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So you need to have a sense
of commitment to the marriage
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as well as to the person.
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Because you have to have
a concept that "I'm in this,
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and I plan to be in this. "
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So, a wedding vow that is taken
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is not just a set of words
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you say during a certain time.
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It's actually a form
of a covenant with God.
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Did you make a covenant
with God in your marriage?
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Did you start with the
idea that this is forever
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with God and with my spouse?
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And that's where
you're starting... Yes.
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And I'd like for you to
listen to Galatians 5:22-23
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as The Message
Paraphrase puts it:
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"For what happens
when we live God's way?
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He brings gifts into our lives
much the same way that fruit
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appears in an orchard. Things
like affection for others,
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exuberance about life, serenity.
We develop a willingness
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to stick with things, a sense
of compassion in the heart,
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and a conviction that a
basic holiness permeates things
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and people. We find ourselves
involved in loyal commitment,
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not needing to force our
way in life, and able to marshal
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and direct our
energies wisely. "
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Wow, that's a
mouthful, isn't it? Yes!
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And it's a whole lot to talk
about because that's a level
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of commitment that
sounds very much like
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God planned for this
thing to be for eternity.
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Yes, He did. But there
are enough things in there
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to make it fun. OK. So
you're saying it's enjoyable.
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It's not stick in it for better
or worse, and if it gets worse
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just stay there anyway because,
you know, there's a way of
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thinking in the world today,
and part of the way that...
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I don't know if you've
heard this or experienced this:
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that people are saying that
if your marriage is not bad,
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it's bad to stay in a bad
marriage with your children
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experiencing everything that's
going on in your marriage.
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God has another plan,
folks, from what I'm hearing.
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That it doesn't have to be
bad; it never HAS TO BE bad.
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You go through bad
times and difficult
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and challenging periods of time,
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but God has a plan
for it to be a commitment
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for a great
marriage for a long time.
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He says "exuberance about
life. " That doesn't sound
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like drudgery to me... or
a stick in the mud, huh? NO!
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So, when we talk about marriage
commitment, first of all
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we have to understand that
God is committed to marriage.
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He will uphold a marriage, and
He will bring happiness and joy
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to a marriage. So if He has
a commitment, we ought to have
00:11:49.80\00:11:52.34
a commitment with His commitment
and we ought to have a
00:11:52.45\00:11:56.14
commitment to each other
to do our part in making sure
00:11:56.25\00:12:00.25
that the marriage
stays exciting and viable.
00:12:00.39\00:12:05.38
When I say viable, that
means that it's something
00:12:05.58\00:12:08.26
that is worth staying in.
00:12:08.36\00:12:10.50
That it's something
that's good for both of us.
00:12:10.70\00:12:13.06
And of course, this talks
about we develop a willingness
00:12:13.26\00:12:17.24
to stick with things. So,
we're not in this because we
00:12:17.34\00:12:21.39
have to be, it's
because we want to be.
00:12:21.49\00:12:24.13
So, when we look at
Galatians 5:22 and 23
00:12:24.33\00:12:27.50
the fruit of the Spirit
now is applied to what we bring
00:12:27.60\00:12:32.88
to the marriage itself.
That if we bring those values
00:12:32.98\00:12:36.55
that are in Galatians 5:22-23,
the Spirit provides us with them
00:12:36.65\00:12:41.78
that it will make the
marriage a great marriage.
00:12:41.89\00:12:44.82
And two people will bring
these fruits... not just one.
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Oh, you mean, I thought maybe
the wife does everything, right?
00:12:48.27\00:12:52.85
Oh, no. You're confused.
And the man just goes out and
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hunts and brings home the bread.
No, no, no, you're confused.
00:12:55.71\00:12:58.47
Remember the two bodies
close to the third body?
00:12:58.67\00:13:02.39
Oh, so our staying
together with God in this...
00:13:02.59\00:13:06.45
This is a contract, a covenant
with God and a commitment
00:13:06.66\00:13:11.48
with God - yes - for
the marriage to be great
00:13:11.58\00:13:13.66
that two people make. OK.
00:13:13.77\00:13:15.49
Then we're ready to
move on and we will move on
00:13:15.62\00:13:17.99
and discover some of the
very special, practical ways
00:13:18.09\00:13:21.78
that we can discover that
make our marriage not only
00:13:21.88\00:13:25.96
just a committed marriage
but a marriage that's exciting
00:13:26.06\00:13:29.05
and fun and intimate.
00:13:29.15\00:13:30.83
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to help build a better marriage.
00:14:03.73\00:14:05.58
Welcome back to
Marriage in God's Hands.
00:14:17.36\00:14:20.75
I'm your host. I'm Willie Lee
00:14:20.95\00:14:23.54
with our co-host, Wilma Lee.
00:14:23.64\00:14:26.40
And we're here to continue
our discussion about intimacy.
00:14:26.60\00:14:31.21
A re-definition of intimacy.
00:14:31.41\00:14:34.70
So, now that we've
established some ground rules...
00:14:34.90\00:14:39.23
First of all, the
spiritual connections.
00:14:39.33\00:14:41.24
Because even after
there was Cain and Abel
00:14:41.44\00:14:46.99
there was an altar experience,
there was a giving to God.
00:14:47.09\00:14:51.74
And, of course, when you
give to God, God imbues you with
00:14:51.94\00:14:56.40
the Holy Spirit's fruits,
and you have talked about that.
00:14:56.50\00:15:01.09
Are there some practical
ways that that comes out in the
00:15:01.29\00:15:05.62
communication that
you can share with us?
00:15:05.72\00:15:08.00
Or how we related to
each other as husband and wife
00:15:08.10\00:15:11.15
in practical ways. Share
some of those steps of intimacy
00:15:11.25\00:15:16.77
or elements of intimacy
that will make it special
00:15:16.87\00:15:20.35
that's not just sexual. It might
be some sexuality ultimately
00:15:20.55\00:15:25.42
but... before that...
Well, I think that there are
00:15:25.52\00:15:28.62
4 basic components of intimacy
00:15:28.72\00:15:31.43
that you have to have
00:15:31.53\00:15:33.04
in building an
intimate relationship.
00:15:33.14\00:15:35.59
And the first one I think of is
00:15:35.82\00:15:37.42
time because you can't build an
intimate relationship in haste.
00:15:37.65\00:15:43.24
OK. You have to have time.
00:15:43.44\00:15:46.45
Well, I'll give you
five minutes of quality time.
00:15:46.65\00:15:50.14
Um, um... you're confused
because if you have to define it
00:15:50.34\00:15:55.13
as quality time then first
of all we're already in trouble.
00:15:55.23\00:15:59.50
So, time means that kind of time
that you give that you're not
00:15:59.70\00:16:05.22
checking your watch.
You don't have your PDA set.
00:16:05.32\00:16:09.79
You don't have your beeper on,
00:16:09.89\00:16:12.38
and your cell phone
isn't going to ring.
00:16:12.48\00:16:14.74
You know it's the time that,
back in the day when we were
00:16:14.84\00:16:18.11
kids, it was you
walked me to the corner,
00:16:18.21\00:16:21.11
then I walked you back.
And then when you got home,
00:16:21.21\00:16:24.13
you called me on
the phone and we talked.
00:16:24.23\00:16:27.98
And then the parents said:
"Well, didn't you just see them?
00:16:28.08\00:16:30.68
Can't you hang up the
phone? " It's that kind of time.
00:16:30.78\00:16:34.62
Oh, you're talking about after
marriage time is like it was
00:16:34.82\00:16:38.75
before marriage? YES! Oh, OK.
00:16:38.85\00:16:42.56
So, that's one of those elements
of intimacy: that time is given
00:16:42.66\00:16:47.92
by both of them
to each other? YES!
00:16:48.02\00:16:52.00
OK. And what happens when that
time... what does that time do?
00:16:52.20\00:16:55.51
Is it just that we get
bored with each other, or what?
00:16:55.71\00:16:58.93
No. You defined it. It's the
before marriage time that you
00:16:59.13\00:17:04.38
have after you get married
but you're still married.
00:17:04.52\00:17:07.72
OK. So, you're talking
about maybe time for dates.
00:17:07.92\00:17:10.27
When's the last time you've
been on a date with your spouse?
00:17:10.37\00:17:13.65
Intentional dates.
When you get around to it,
00:17:13.85\00:17:17.40
is that what you're saying?
That instead of that, then you
00:17:17.50\00:17:19.39
have to have planned
- yes - time together.
00:17:19.50\00:17:22.50
Yes. Now, that's when you pull
out your PDA and you mark down
00:17:22.70\00:17:26.44
this time is for... and
it cannot be scratched over.
00:17:26.54\00:17:30.52
OK. Or, you pull out your
cell phone - because it has an
00:17:30.72\00:17:33.43
organizer in it - and you
can have an alarm that goes off
00:17:33.53\00:17:36.51
and says "This time
belongs to... MY HONEY,
00:17:36.61\00:17:39.72
MY SWEETIE,
whatever that pet name is. "
00:17:39.82\00:17:43.62
OK. So, that's the kind of
time that doesn't allow the
00:17:43.82\00:17:47.90
interruptions and on that
time period, or within that time
00:17:48.00\00:17:53.19
period, do we make sure
also that there is no problem
00:17:53.29\00:17:58.03
with interruptions from others?
00:17:58.13\00:18:01.70
It's date time. What
do you do on dates? DATE!
00:18:01.80\00:18:06.25
OK. So, we're talking about a
time that we give to each other
00:18:06.45\00:18:11.21
exclusive of anyone else.
00:18:11.31\00:18:14.18
Exactly. All right, so that's
an important part of building
00:18:14.38\00:18:19.21
intimacy. YES.
You can't have it...
00:18:19.31\00:18:21.99
Unless it's bleeding
profusely - um hmm - or on fire,
00:18:22.09\00:18:25.20
it's not an emergency. OK.
00:18:25.30\00:18:27.35
Well, you've heard that.
Have you had some time recently
00:18:27.55\00:18:30.70
and have you planned some
time intentionally to spend
00:18:30.80\00:18:36.02
with your spouse? It doesn't
have to be a lot of money
00:18:36.12\00:18:39.76
exchanged... even though
it's nice to do something
00:18:39.96\00:18:42.43
that costs a little
bit, that you invest in.
00:18:42.54\00:18:44.83
Because I can think of no
better investment than to invest
00:18:44.94\00:18:48.37
in the one you love.
00:18:48.47\00:18:50.13
Hmmm. I like that!
00:18:50.33\00:18:51.57
But anyway, moving on
to the next component...
00:18:51.77\00:18:54.52
and then there's that
word again: commitment.
00:18:54.72\00:18:57.70
You have to be in
it for the long haul.
00:18:57.90\00:19:01.13
It can't be "Baby, baby,
I love you but I'll be over
00:19:01.33\00:19:04.95
tonight if it doesn't rain. "
00:19:05.05\00:19:06.78
That doesn't sound
like much commitment to me!
00:19:06.98\00:19:09.91
In some of these times
right now, you wouldn't be over
00:19:10.11\00:19:13.60
for very much,
would you? Not at all.
00:19:13.71\00:19:16.15
In other words, rainy
days should not allow you
00:19:16.35\00:19:21.06
to have a... no
time available for you.
00:19:21.16\00:19:27.10
Because there are
rainy days in our lives.
00:19:27.30\00:19:29.56
I know you have rainy days.
00:19:29.76\00:19:30.98
There are rainy days in our
lives when things just happen
00:19:31.18\00:19:34.49
that we hadn't planned for,
and it makes it very difficult
00:19:34.59\00:19:37.75
to manage the job
or manage the children
00:19:37.85\00:19:40.52
or manage some things
that are going on in our lives.
00:19:40.62\00:19:43.05
So, there's got to be a
commitment for me toward you
00:19:43.15\00:19:48.50
that is above and
beyond the rainy days.
00:19:48.60\00:19:51.49
When the rainy days are over,
then we have to make up for it.
00:19:51.69\00:19:54.39
And there are definitely
rainy days in marriages.
00:19:54.59\00:19:58.20
So, if there isn't
that commitment through the
00:19:58.40\00:20:01.31
rainy days to hold me,
to put up the umbrella,
00:20:01.41\00:20:05.48
to bring out the rain
coat, we're in trouble.
00:20:05.58\00:20:08.00
OK. So, it's not only time, we
are talking about a commitment
00:20:08.20\00:20:13.70
to be there... BE THERE...
00:20:13.80\00:20:16.98
Don't be somewhere else
when you need to be there.
00:20:17.18\00:20:21.04
Or don't run when you see
the tough times coming. Wow!
00:20:21.24\00:20:24.11
Yeah, I guess we can
create some moments, can't we?
00:20:24.21\00:20:28.14
Things can come up all of
a sudden that I need to do
00:20:28.34\00:20:31.02
because I'm uncomfortable.
There's going to come a time
00:20:31.12\00:20:34.65
in a marriage, and we'll
talk about that along the way,
00:20:34.75\00:20:38.68
when there are no more
children to occupy your time
00:20:38.78\00:20:42.58
or when there's
retirement or a job.
00:20:42.69\00:20:45.15
What's going to happen then
if you haven't made a commitment
00:20:45.35\00:20:48.65
now - exactly - to
love the person you're with
00:20:48.75\00:20:51.99
and that you are in love
with and creating those special
00:20:52.02\00:20:57.03
moments for?
Better yet, in like with.
00:20:57.14\00:20:59.43
In like with as well
as in love - yes - with.
00:20:59.63\00:21:01.91
OK. Well, that takes
care of that. What's next?
00:21:02.11\00:21:04.29
Humor! Ahhh, I
can understand that!
00:21:04.49\00:21:08.89
Can you now? Oh, yeah!
Laughter makes the heart
00:21:09.10\00:21:12.29
grow merrier. Yes,
and life is serious.
00:21:12.39\00:21:16.97
Um-hmm. But we
sometimes take ourselves far too
00:21:17.17\00:21:19.80
seriously, and so consequently
00:21:19.90\00:21:23.20
there's not a lot of laughter
00:21:23.30\00:21:25.34
and humor in our relationships.
00:21:25.44\00:21:28.01
And sometimes Christians
are very, very poor at humor.
00:21:28.21\00:21:33.24
Oh, really? Yes!
00:21:33.44\00:21:35.57
Because I think they don't
think God has a sense of humor.
00:21:35.77\00:21:38.77
Well, I think that is too
bad because I love to laugh.
00:21:39.07\00:21:43.97
I love to have a merry heart
00:21:44.07\00:21:47.20
and to have an enjoyable time.
00:21:47.40\00:21:49.61
I guess I see too many
00:21:49.71\00:21:51.93
Christians who don't
look very happy to begin with.
00:21:52.03\00:21:56.19
I think you're right.
But, you know, I know that
00:21:56.39\00:21:58.42
God has a sense of humor
00:21:58.52\00:22:00.06
because I look at myself
every morning in the mirror.
00:22:00.16\00:22:02.74
And you laugh? Oh, definitely!
00:22:02.94\00:22:04.86
And I know God must too!
You think He laughs with you?
00:22:05.06\00:22:07.21
Oh, yes. And relationships
that don't have a sense of humor
00:22:07.31\00:22:12.31
are in trouble. OK. Now, there
are a lot of things that are
00:22:12.41\00:22:16.18
to be said about that because
they are beginning to discover
00:22:16.38\00:22:18.99
even among
physical science, MD's,
00:22:19.19\00:22:23.97
as well as those who
are in the social sciences,
00:22:24.17\00:22:28.40
that there are things
that are emitted in our system
00:22:28.50\00:22:34.29
when our brain is happy.
00:22:34.39\00:22:37.49
You mean endorphins?
00:22:37.89\00:22:40.76
Endorphins, yes. Yeah!
00:22:40.96\00:22:42.85
Things that we work hard
trying to get so we feel good.
00:22:43.05\00:22:45.89
You can have them
for free... just laugh!
00:22:46.09\00:22:48.42
That's right! They are
also a healing potion. Yes.
00:22:48.52\00:22:53.00
I have seen situations
that have been very difficult,
00:22:53.13\00:22:55.35
and when a couple has at least
one of them in there who is
00:22:55.45\00:22:59.01
willing to make
light of themselves -
00:22:59.11\00:23:01.13
never make light
of the other person -
00:23:01.23\00:23:02.85
exactly - you make light of
yourself - then you are able to
00:23:02.95\00:23:07.34
recover quite
well, quite gracefully,
00:23:07.44\00:23:11.19
when you are handling
something very sensitive
00:23:11.29\00:23:13.92
and very difficult. And to laugh
together is the beginning of
00:23:14.02\00:23:19.35
that relationship all over
again. It creates something
00:23:19.45\00:23:21.54
brand new that's very
special. That's right.
00:23:21.64\00:23:23.69
And the fourth component is
one that I think we very often
00:23:23.89\00:23:29.41
forget, and that's flexibility.
00:23:29.51\00:23:31.74
Because it means no one
gets everything they want
00:23:31.94\00:23:35.63
all of the time.
Now I lived in a house
00:23:35.73\00:23:39.00
with two sisters. I know that.
00:23:39.10\00:23:42.31
I couldn't have made it
out if I tried to get my way
00:23:42.51\00:23:45.46
all the time. Well, I think
that when we first got married
00:23:45.56\00:23:49.94
I had a few things to learn...
being kind of the only...
00:23:50.04\00:23:54.84
And... One of the only children.
00:23:55.05\00:23:59.02
Yes. My parents raised two
only children. They were kind of
00:23:59.12\00:24:01.62
confused, and being kind
of strong-willed with someone
00:24:01.72\00:24:05.88
else who was quietly...
Are you strong-willed?
00:24:05.98\00:24:08.48
Oh, yes. Oh, my. And you, too!
00:24:08.58\00:24:10.79
Oh, am I? Just
quietly so! Oh, OK.
00:24:10.89\00:24:13.52
It was kind of a tug-of-war
for us there for a while.
00:24:13.73\00:24:17.25
Um-hmm. But I learned that
if we were going to be in this
00:24:17.45\00:24:20.83
marriage for more than 5
minutes nobody was going to get
00:24:20.93\00:24:24.96
everything they
wanted all of the time.
00:24:25.06\00:24:27.25
Well, let's count the cost.
That 5 minutes has turned into
00:24:27.45\00:24:30.90
40 years, and I think I've
gotten enough of what I needed
00:24:31.00\00:24:36.57
because, of course, I've gotten
you... and that was a bonus!
00:24:36.60\00:24:39.97
Hmmm. I wasn't born with
you. I was given that as a gift,
00:24:40.17\00:24:42.98
remember? Yes. So we
have something special
00:24:43.08\00:24:46.54
to give to each other
if we will allow that...
00:24:46.64\00:24:49.59
You are saying if we
would allow the other person to
00:24:49.79\00:24:52.49
get their way, we
create a joy and a satisfaction
00:24:52.59\00:24:56.02
in seeing the other person
joyful and happy and receiving
00:24:56.12\00:25:00.74
for a change. It's
better to give than to receive.
00:25:01.04\00:25:06.96
It sounds like a
spiritual principle... yes...
00:25:07.07\00:25:09.12
that fits right in here.
And those kinds of moments
00:25:09.22\00:25:12.17
create intimacy.
Isn't that right?
00:25:12.27\00:25:14.51
They definitely do.
00:25:14.61\00:25:16.03
And you certainly can't
have humor if you don't have
00:25:16.13\00:25:18.65
flexibility. Well,
you know, with the humor,
00:25:18.75\00:25:23.46
with the flexibility -
sometimes getting your way,
00:25:23.56\00:25:26.72
sometimes the other person
getting their way - it sounds
00:25:26.82\00:25:30.52
like we are giving gifts to
each other on a regular basis.
00:25:30.65\00:25:33.49
Something good and very special
00:25:33.59\00:25:35.34
that creates an
intimate setting.
00:25:35.44\00:25:38.54
Now, we haven't talked a
lot about sex, but I can imagine
00:25:38.74\00:25:42.40
that with all of those four
elements and a real commitment
00:25:42.50\00:25:45.81
to marriage going, that
it wouldn't take too much,
00:25:45.91\00:25:49.16
would it, for the
sexuality to be increased?
00:25:49.27\00:25:52.09
Sex is a natural gift out
of those four components. Ahhh.
00:25:52.29\00:25:56.08
Because a relationship
that is built on true intimacy
00:25:56.28\00:26:00.66
then sex is a natural gift.
00:26:00.76\00:26:03.39
So, the sexuality rises out
of those elements of intimacy
00:26:03.59\00:26:08.77
and because sexual
intimacy that is par excellence;
00:26:08.87\00:26:13.65
It is on a level
above and beyond most.
00:26:13.85\00:26:16.90
Yes. All right. Well, that's
something worth working toward,
00:26:17.10\00:26:19.50
don't you think? I think so!
00:26:19.70\00:26:20.85
We can work on it together.
00:26:20.95\00:26:21.95
Let's pray together and
ask God for help in developing
00:26:22.05\00:26:26.07
an intimacy that
God would approve of.
00:26:26.18\00:26:29.55
Loving Father in
Heaven: Thank you so much
00:26:29.75\00:26:32.26
for our being able to
share with one another and
00:26:32.36\00:26:35.25
give to one another and exercise
these elements of intimacy
00:26:35.35\00:26:39.62
because we want most of
all to be intimate with you
00:26:39.82\00:26:43.82
but we also want to
share that with one another
00:26:43.92\00:26:46.40
and create a wonderful marriage.
00:26:46.50\00:26:49.31
Thank you so much for your love,
00:26:49.51\00:26:51.10
In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.
00:26:51.30\00:26:55.01
We hope that you have been
able to sit next to that person
00:26:56.33\00:27:01.72
that you are in a relationship
with while we have been
00:27:01.82\00:27:04.70
talking about some of
these things... some of them
00:27:04.80\00:27:07.41
happening in our lives... but
we are sure that some of them
00:27:07.51\00:27:10.39
have happened in yours.
It's good to go back and talk
00:27:10.49\00:27:13.34
about some of those moments
because you have had them.
00:27:13.44\00:27:16.41
But putting them together
intentionally in order to create
00:27:16.52\00:27:20.33
an intimate environment will
help to re-create your marriage.
00:27:20.43\00:27:25.65
So, let's re-define intimacy.
00:27:25.85\00:27:28.26
Let's take it
away from Hollywood.
00:27:28.36\00:27:29.79
Let's give it to Christ and
make Him the center of our joy.
00:27:29.89\00:27:34.20
And then His joy
will become our joy.
00:27:34.30\00:27:37.84
We are hoping for the
joyful reunion of your marriage
00:27:38.04\00:27:42.81
with Christ.
00:27:42.91\00:27:45.49