Participants: Willie and Wilma Lee
Series Code: MGH
Program Code: MGH000028
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00:31 Welcome to Marriage in God's Hands.
00:34 My name is Willie Lee and I'm your host, and our co-host, 00:39 of course, is my wife Wilma Lee. 00:43 Welcome, and today we're going to talk to you about 00:47 marriage, "The promise". And as we begin this day we 00:51 would like for you to join us in prayer. 00:55 Heavenly Father, we thank You for this opportunity, 00:58 and we thank You for this promise 01:00 that You've given us with marriage, and we ask that You 01:03 would join us here and now as we join our hands together. 01:09 And knowing, dear Lord, that You created marriage as You 01:14 created man and woman, we want to follow Your plan, 01:18 make it clear to us today, in Jesus' name, amen. 01:25 We welcome you back to Marriage in God's Hands so that we might 01:31 be able to share some more about the marvelous things that God 01:35 has planned for our marriages and for our families, and we 01:39 must know that a good marriage is a good foundation for 01:44 an excellent family. So let's pay attention to a few things, 01:48 I guess, as we roll along today and see what has happened 01:53 to marriage because marriage is not what it was 01:59 when God made it. 02:01 Yes, and I guess that we can rejoice because God doesn't make 02:06 a promise that He does not keep. So when we think about marriage, 02:11 the promise, we can look forward to what God has to say 02:14 - about marriage. - Well, if you have your Bibles 02:18 ready to turn to Genesis, the beginning of all things, 02:23 let's look at Genesis 3, and we're very familiar with going 02:29 through some of the issues that the marriage ran into because 02:34 God had given instructions in the garden, and man and woman, 02:38 Adam and Eve, were to spend their time with God and with 02:43 each other, and the 2 were not to be separated. 02:49 But something happened in the garden. 02:51 Yes, somehow or the other Adam and Eve got separated, 02:57 and with that, created some problems. 03:00 Oh? What kind of problems did it create? 03:03 Well, there was a third party introduced who wasn't supposed 03:08 - to be in the marriage. - Oh, well this leads us into 03:12 some discussions then that have some implications that marriage 03:17 between 2 people, with God in the center, is great, but when 03:21 someone else comes in between that relationship it begins 03:25 to distort God's plan for marriage immediately, 03:28 - doesn't it? - Immediately! And so when 03:30 you have a marriage that doesn't include God, and includes 03:37 somebody else, you have a problem. 03:40 Well, we can understand and appreciate that because many 03:42 things can come in between a man and a wife because they do come 03:46 - from families, don't they? - Definitely! 03:49 And those families have been an intricate part of your 03:53 relationship, my relationship, for years and then all of 03:56 a sudden God had said in chapter 2 that when you are 04:01 married you should leave mother and father and then cleave 04:06 to your spouse, and when that doesn't happen quite like that 04:12 usually some things begin to distort the marriage 04:15 - relationship. - And you notice God had a plan 04:18 and an order, you leave and then you cleave. 04:22 Ok, no cleaving before leaving. 04:25 Yes, and it doesn't always happen that way, in fact, 04:31 today's statistics say that more than 1 of every 3 children 04:36 is born to a never married mother. 04:39 Great day, that is quite a statistic, what was that 04:43 - number again? - 1 in every 3 children. 04:47 1 in every 3 children is not in a complete relationship of 04:53 - marriage - Exactly. 04:55 That can create quite a few problems, and we've seen 04:58 the kind of challenges that parents have with children 05:01 today when they don't have a spouse. And I heard someone 05:06 say, for instance, that they're the new poor when there is 05:10 a divorce, or when there is a separation, and there's not 05:13 a mother and a father leading that family, and with children 05:18 in it, there's poverty, there's a lot of things that are missing 05:22 - in that child's life. - Exactly, and you can't really 05:26 have healthy children unless you have a healthy family, 05:30 which was God's intent when He said "Don't cleave before" 05:35 - "you leave". - Yes, because He did say 05:38 that He wanted them to be fruitful and to multiply, 05:42 - not divide. - Exactly. 05:45 And division causes a problem, and that division, of course, 05:48 came from the evil one, from Lucifer, and as you read in 05:51 chapter 3 you will find that there is a very, very exciting, 05:57 but deadly encounter, that takes place. Whatever Satan brings 06:01 into the picture is usually exciting, so don't expect it 06:04 to be boring and dull when Satan makes his claim upon 06:09 the marriage, because he will do anything to divide, 06:13 and he can make it sound great, he can make it feel great, 06:16 and he will do his best to lure you into the possibility of 06:21 being without God, and being without your spouse in 06:25 - a marriage. - But I'm so glad that we serve 06:28 a God who has a promise, and that His promise is of such 06:33 that His promise is also exciting, and it is true 06:39 - and sure. - Well, they needed that promise 06:43 because almost immediately, not too long after the encounter 06:47 in the garden, what we see happening is that, as you 06:51 can imagine, God comes looking for His normal encounter 06:56 with Adam and Eve, the married couple, and this time He can't 07:01 find them, and He starts calling for them. And immediately their 07:07 response to Him was that they were naked. Now, what changed? 07:15 Weren't they naked before? You see, there's an unclothing 07:21 of your self worth and your values, and sin undresses 07:26 you in the presence of God and everyone, and undresses 07:30 the marriage relationship because almost immediately 07:33 when He talks to Adam, Adam wants to pin it on the woman, 07:37 he says "Well, this woman You gave me is part" 07:40 "of that encounter". All of a sudden this loving relationship 07:44 is distorted and begins to break down. 07:46 Yes, the woman who a chapter before, who was "wow", is now... 07:53 [makes negative face]. But the Scripture says they 07:56 were naked and ashamed, so sin brings shame and blame. 08:03 Yes it does, and that always creates a very, very difficult 08:08 moment for the family, for any couple, anything that you go 08:12 through where there's division or distortion of 08:15 that relationship in which people are not feeling good 08:19 about each other, or about their relationship, 08:21 you begin to feel ashamed, very self-conscious, and that's 08:25 something that sin brings into the life, and God is in 08:31 the picture, but at the same time things were not like they 08:36 used to be. And it might be that you are experiencing 08:39 a marriage that is not quite like it used to be, and we want 08:43 to assure you that God has a plan for that, and we're going 08:45 to discuss that in just a few moments. 08:49 You know that, unfortunately, in our society today nearly 45% 08:59 of the marriages end in divorce, so there may be a lot of 09:03 people who are looking today who are hurting, who are suffering, 09:08 who may be in that shame and blame position, but we are 09:12 so happy to share with you that God has a promise, God has 09:19 a solution for shame and blame. 09:22 - He didn't wait long, did He? - No, He didn't. 09:24 He didn't want to leave them hanging out there with that 09:26 - difficulty. - And I like the part that God 09:29 didn't wait for them to look for Him, He came looking, 09:35 He came calling, He knew where they were, but He came calling 09:41 - anyway. - That's unconditional love. 09:45 You must experience unconditional love from God. 09:49 We don't normally know how to provide unconditional love for 09:54 those within our spousal circle, our wife, our husband, 09:59 or sometimes not even our children, because we become 10:02 upset, we become embarrassed, we become ashamed, and we 10:06 want to separate ourselves from them, but God never separates 10:10 Himself from us, and this is something that we must begin 10:15 to understand, and through our faith in God, expect Him to do, 10:19 He's always waiting to make a difference for us. 10:21 And a lot of times we don't experience unconditional 10:24 love because we're hurting, and when you're hurting, 10:29 sometimes I've been in that position, 10:31 it's difficult to share unconditional love 10:35 when you're hurt and wounded. And because we serve a God 10:40 who understands us, He made us, after all He did form Adam and 10:44 Eve from the dust of the ground with His own hands, and breathed 10:49 into them life with His own breath. So He knows us better 10:55 than anybody else, He can then know how to share that love 11:00 and provide that love unconditionally because He made 11:04 us, and He understands us better than anybody else 11:08 - possibly could. - Well, it's too bad that Eve 11:12 didn't know that because she had to go through this experience 11:16 of having this little debate with God because when He 11:20 turned towards her her statement was to Him 11:25 "He tricked me, the serpents tricked me. I was tricked" 11:29 "into doing this, I didn't want to do it. " 11:32 But no matter how it happened God had His promise, and this 11:35 is what He said: "So the Lord said to the serpent, Because" 11:37 "you have done this you will be punished, you are singled" 11:40 "out from all the domestic and wild animals of the whole earth" 11:44 "to be cursed. " This is in Genesis 3:14. 11:49 And in Genesis 3:15 is the promise: "From now on" 11:56 "you and the woman will be enemies, and your offspring" 11:59 "and her offspring will be enemies. He will crush your" 12:02 "head and you will strike his heal. " What a promise! 12:08 God says he may trip you up for a while, but if you claim 12:12 the promise God says "I will take care of the one who" 12:16 "tricked you, and who got you into the dilemma of" 12:19 "brokenness, and ashamed, and feeling naked and exposed. " 12:26 God is taking care of the problem for us, and that's His 12:30 promise, but there's more to this promise that we're going 12:33 to talk about, but first of all, isn't it great the God gave 12:37 the promise, did not wait, and immediately after sin 12:40 assured man that He was there for Him. 12:43 Definitely, and you know it is true, women are afraid 12:46 - of snakes. [Hosts laugh] - Okay, that's true. 12:50 Well, we're going to have to be very much aware that Satan 12:54 - has got to be afraid of God. - Oh sure. 12:57 Because the Creator has now put in His word on him and said 13:02 "You're on going to get away with this", and I'm so glad that 13:05 God is ready to rescue the marriage, and to present 13:09 the marriage once again as a restored relationship to reflect 13:15 God, and the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost in unity. 13:20 I can't wait to get into the rest of this, how about you? 13:23 - I'm looking forward to it. - You make sure that you're 13:26 here right after this break. 13:39 There are many "How to" books available, but there's one 13:41 that's free, and perfect for every couple: 13:44 "How You Can Build a Better Marriage". 13:47 Bible-based matrimonial advice is given in a light 13:50 hearted, easy to read manner for those contemplating marriage, 13:53 newly weds, couples in their golden years, and everyone 13:56 in between. Simply call or write for your copy of this amazing 14:00 little booklet, a handy little tool to help build a better 14:04 marriage. 14:19 Welcome back to Marriage in God's Hands. 14:22 We've been discussing "the promise", marriage, the promise. 14:28 And as we were leaving the break we want you to know that we 14:36 are excited about not only what has happened, but what God will 14:40 do, because the experience that we've all had is brokenness, 14:45 we've all had some kind of distortion in our relationships, 14:48 in our marriages, that we've had to fight through, and with God's 14:52 help we've been able to come through. If you have not been 14:55 experiencing that it is because that is the result of sin 15:00 entering in. It's not your fault as a person that sin is here, 15:05 it's not your spouse's fault that sin is here. 15:09 A lot of times we want to blame each other for the problems 15:12 in our marriage, but I think we have to recognize that sin 15:16 increases, or as Paul says "it abounds", but grace much 15:20 - more abounds. - And I'm glad that with God's 15:23 promise He didn't promise all distress and pain, granted 15:32 women do bear children in pain... 15:34 And He said that, didn't He? Right here in the 16th verse. 15:38 Yeah, that's a part of the problem of sin, we'll have 15:42 to talk to Eve about that in the kingdom, I'll have to have a few 15:46 words with her about that, but He did tell Adam that he'd 15:50 have to sweat a bit to gain the rest of the labor. 15:56 Before all they had to do was tend the garden, he didn't 15:59 have to sweat, but you know, when you look over into 16:02 the Song of Solomon, which is also a part of the Bible, 16:07 not a whole lot of people like to read that, I don't know why, 16:10 it's always exciting to me. There's a courtship for you. 16:13 Alright, and there's 2 sides to this, and we have to know that 16:18 God has provided us through the promise with such great 16:23 opportunities to meet the challenges of sin, 16:27 and the recovery and the forgiveness that takes place 16:29 that God provides is what we really need to understand, 16:32 and if forgiveness has not happened in your relationships, 16:36 maybe you are to be a little bit more attentive to God's plan 16:39 because we need to understand that God wants to take care 16:44 of sin. It reached such a point, as a matter of fact, 16:48 within just a couple thousand years, and there was a great 16:53 flood, and part of the reason for the flood, it said, that sin 16:56 was multiplying, and that men and women were marrying 17:01 and giving in marriage. That means marrying, and divorcing, 17:03 and separating, and distortion had already taken hold in 17:07 the Antediluvian world to the point that marriage was 17:11 no longer being honored, that it was distorted, even as you have 17:14 mentioned, it's happening today. 17:16 Yeah, and when you think about it, 60% of children in the US 17:22 don't live with their own biological married parents. 17:27 - That's a lot. - That is a whole lot of 17:30 children who are experiencing pain as they grow. 17:36 And that causes a whole lot of distortions of personalities, 17:41 and temperaments, and difficulties for them just 17:43 becoming wholesome in their approach to marriage themselves, 17:49 or even as adults living in this world. 17:52 It's interesting to me when you talk to a lot of young adults 17:55 who say "I can't imagine being married because I don't know" 17:59 "anybody in my circle who's happily married". 18:03 In fact, I have heard some other young people say 18:07 "Well, I'm not sure I want to get married because" 18:10 "in my home... ", they experienced a lot of distortion, 18:14 there were a lot of arguments, and a lot of discussions that 18:17 were heated, anger, conflict, and the level that happens 18:22 in homes just creates distress for the children growing up 18:27 in the home. It is not a good thing for children to have 18:30 to experience that kind of distress because then they have 18:33 no hope for the future for their own relationships. 18:37 And I think that we need to realize that a lot of times 18:41 we're talking to Christian young people, so we need to go back 18:46 to talking about God's gift - God is love - and that in 18:51 Christian homes that has to be manifested in Christian 18:54 - marriages. - You know, what was so 18:57 marvelous about this, God started out after the flood, 19:02 there were only 8 people, but from what we can see in 19:06 the Word of God, as we look throughout the book of Genesis, 19:10 it started with 4 couples, Noah and his wife, 19:15 and their children and their spouses. So He created 19:20 a wholeness, the promise was already taking hold, 19:25 and the result of that promise is that God started again with 19:29 whole couples to create a whole marriage, and to create a good 19:33 foundation for the families after the flood. 19:36 And again with a promise "I do set My bow in the clouds". 19:41 That's right, God keeps His promises, and that's a wonderful 19:44 thing. Now, when Jesus came here, and we're going to talk 19:48 more about what happened after the flood with many of 19:51 the families of the promise, and that will probably happen 19:54 in the future, but if we look what happened when Jesus came. 19:59 He began His ministry at a wedding feast, showing how 20:06 much He cares about the relationship of marriage. 20:10 And even though He was sort of goaded into creating that 20:15 happy moment for that couple when the drink ran out 20:20 and there was no more to serve the guests, and it was His 20:23 mother who said "Jesus, please do this for the couple so that" 20:27 "their wedding celebration will not be spoiled. " God does not 20:32 want our celebrations of marriage to be spoiled, and He 20:36 will work miracles in our relationships to guarantee that 20:40 the promise takes hold, and that the evil one will not have his 20:45 way in bringing brokenness into our families. 20:48 Well, I like the fact that His first miracle was at a family 20:52 event because He was there because that was family. 20:56 I think that that's always significant, and that Jesus 20:59 came to this earth as a part of a family, because we often 21:05 forget that part that He was a member of a family, and that 21:10 families are important, and that that too is a part of 21:14 the promise that we are all connected as family. 21:19 And I like His promise because then He becomes the elder 21:24 - brother, not only Saviour. - Wow, you know, His plan was 21:30 very easy to see as Jesus taught on the earth, He brought 21:35 the promise in Himself. So it wasn't enough for Him 21:40 to just tell us what to do, but He appeared and He taught, 21:44 and He shared those important family occasions and encouraged 21:49 marriage. In fact, He said it may have been, as He talked 21:52 in Matthew, it may have been so back in the old days 21:56 where you could have a divorce and just get rid of your wife, 21:59 but He says "Not so when I come". When Jesus comes at 22:03 a house, we don't talk about divorce, we don't talk about 22:06 separation, we don't talk about maintaining the brokenness, 22:10 we talk about the promise being fulfilled in Christ in order 22:14 to maintain and build healthy, wholesome, spiritual 22:19 relationships with God, because that's the way He started it, 22:24 and we must talk about that spiritual component. 22:26 And I find it interesting that today if you turn on the TV, 22:32 if you read the newspaper, if you turn on anything, 22:36 everybody's talking about the marriage, and the family as 22:40 being the underpinnings of our society, of our communities, 22:44 everybody's talking about "What do we do to strengthen" 22:48 "marriages and families? " Because suddenly people are 22:53 realizing that if we don't get that right then we can't do 22:57 anything else, and it's back to God's Word, this is where He 23:02 started in Genesis, this is what He continues throughout 23:05 His Word, it's the marriage and the family that 23:09 strengthens and underpins everything else, and this is 23:13 what God said from the beginning, and His Word 23:16 continues to be true. He promises that "if you do it My" 23:21 "way, then you can be successful", and in the end when 23:27 you look at the back of the Book, He says "I'm coming for" 23:31 "My bride, the church", the promise. 23:34 Wow, that is exciting. 23:36 God wants to take whole families and whole marriages into His 23:41 kingdom, and even if your family, or marriage has been 23:44 broken or distorted, God does not leave you out. 23:48 If you are not married and watching this program, 23:51 God still speaks to single people because there is 23:54 wholeness and completion even in singleness, because in this 23:58 world not every time can a person find the right kind 24:03 of relationship to have a whole, or wholesome marriage. 24:08 So don't be discouraged just because yours happens to be 24:12 a single relationship. There's redemption both for 24:16 - singles and for couples. - And God says in Psalms 24:21 that He puts the lonely in families, so He intends that 24:26 among His people there is no one alone, but that they are 24:32 encompassed in the healthiness of families. 24:35 Well, God provides redemption, just as He did to Adam 24:39 and Eve, the promise was for redemption, redeeming love, 24:44 and that's what He wants marriages to be composed of: 24:46 redeeming love, and He wants to redeem you, He wants to redeem 24:51 your marriage and your family. And if you look into Matthew 20, 24:55 write these verses down, read them through, verses 26-28, 25:00 or Galatians 3:28, and also Ephesians 5:21-31. 25:10 You can see very clearly that God's plan for marriage is to 25:15 redeem the people in the marriage and to make 25:20 the marriage a place where redemption takes place, 25:25 because if you look into 1 Peter you'll see also where 25:29 He says, if you're willing to stay with a rough marriage, 25:32 if you stay committed, He says "I can actually allow you" 25:37 "to become the cause of the consecration of that marriage" 25:40 "and the consecration of your home". Don't give up 25:42 too easily, let God have His way in your marriage 25:46 - and in your life. - And the practical 25:49 application of that is just that living with somebody that's not 25:52 you every day means that you have to give and take, 25:58 you have to forgive and that you have to hang in there 26:03 because that's the only way that it works. 26:08 And God will bring healing to your marriage, to your 26:10 relationships as well. Why don't we pray now. 26:16 We know, dear Lord, how much You love us, and that Your 26:20 willing, and have already provided for redemption 26:24 in our homes, in our relationships, in our marriages. 26:29 We ask for You to come in in a powerful way and make 26:32 that difference for us now, and no matter what the problem 26:37 has been, dear Lord, we know that you have the solution and 26:40 will provide it to us according to Your promise, in Jesus' name 26:45 we pray, amen. 26:50 We thank you for the times you've spent with us. 26:53 We enjoy sharing God's promise with you about marriage, 26:57 and we know that if your marriage is in God's hands 27:00 there can be no better hands for you to be in because we know 27:04 that God's love is boundless, it's exhaustless, it is more 27:09 than you can ask or imagine. And when God's love spreads 27:14 in your heart it can't help but touch everything and everyone 27:18 with whom you come in contact. Knowing that, we look forward 27:22 to coming again to share God's love with you again, and to know 27:27 that God's love and His joy will be in your heart and your home. 27:33 Love and marriage in God's hand is what we hope to share 27:37 with you another time. We share again that the time 27:41 we'll be with you, and God's joy will abound in your love 27:44 and home, thank you. |
Revised 2014-12-17