Welcome to Marriage Heart to Heart! 00:00:31.11\00:00:32.95 We're Tom & Alane Waters with Restoration International 00:00:32.99\00:00:36.69 Today we're gonna be talking about 00:00:36.93\00:00:38.76 six ways to keep our marriages morally pure. 00:00:38.79\00:00:41.66 So we hope you have a paper and pencil with you today. 00:00:41.70\00:00:44.93 Moral purity 00:00:46.03\00:00:47.71 what a subject for today! 00:00:48.17\00:00:50.62 - Very needed subject! - Yes! Because there's 00:00:50.66\00:00:53.80 a degeneracy happening 00:00:53.83\00:00:55.58 in our world that's obvious to everyone! 00:00:55.62\00:00:58.24 And everyone is being bombarded from every area 00:00:58.85\00:01:03.09 of life with the moral impurity of this generation. 00:01:03.12\00:01:07.33 So, six ways! 00:01:07.74\00:01:10.19 You know when we got married 00:01:10.23\00:01:12.27 I didn't understand a lot of things! But there was one thing 00:01:12.66\00:01:15.46 for sure that I understood: that my eyes 00:01:15.49\00:01:18.85 needed to be for you! 00:01:19.30\00:01:21.74 Kind of amazing when you think about 00:01:21.94\00:01:23.49 what I didn't understand and how selfish I was 00:01:23.53\00:01:26.56 when we first got married. We didn't understand 00:01:26.59\00:01:29.59 a lot of the things about the "me focus" 00:01:29.62\00:01:31.94 moving to the "us focus" but 00:01:31.97\00:01:34.05 I understood that my eyes should be for you! 00:01:34.51\00:01:37.56 And I made a commitment I'm sure you remember. 00:01:37.60\00:01:40.77 I made a commitment, A covenant with my eyes 00:01:40.81\00:01:43.95 for you, with you and with the Lord. And it's made 00:01:44.47\00:01:48.98 a powerful impact in our marriage. 00:01:49.01\00:01:51.79 It really has! And it's given me a lot of security 00:01:52.10\00:01:55.38 knowing that! And it's helped me to trust you 00:01:55.41\00:01:58.37 even through those rough times at the beginning of our 00:01:58.41\00:02:01.22 marriage. And the Lord put in my heart: "If you're gonna 00:02:01.77\00:02:03.74 keep your eyes for me then I needed to do 00:02:03.77\00:02:07.00 everything I could do to be attractive to you 00:02:07.03\00:02:09.74 through our marriage, the way that I saw it to be attractive 00:02:09.78\00:02:13.44 when we were courting. 00:02:13.47\00:02:14.59 And I think this is something that each one of us 00:02:15.01\00:02:17.70 need to recognize. Us wives if we want our husband's 00:02:17.74\00:02:20.40 eyes to be for us then we have the opportunity 00:02:20.43\00:02:26.11 to encourage that in our husbands by how we 00:02:26.45\00:02:29.19 take care of ourselves. Do we look nice for them? 00:02:29.22\00:02:32.70 Do we look appealing to them? 00:02:32.73\00:02:34.73 Are we willing to do our best for them? 00:02:34.87\00:02:37.80 And that will help us, help them with that commitment! 00:02:37.84\00:02:41.85 We know, it's interesting that God's Word even has 00:02:41.89\00:02:46.03 an answer for this covenant that I'm talking about 00:02:46.07\00:02:50.18 in Job the 31 chapter and the first verse. 00:02:50.96\00:02:55.46 It says here: "I made a covenant with mine eyes" 00:02:56.24\00:03:00.18 Here's Job saying "I made a covenant with my eyes!" 00:03:00.22\00:03:04.13 For what purpose? It says: why then should I look upon a maid? 00:03:04.66\00:03:09.58 Well, I realized that 00:03:09.86\00:03:12.52 I made a covenant to you for marriage. 00:03:12.56\00:03:16.87 I gave God some vows and I made those vows publicly before 00:03:17.40\00:03:22.15 a lot of witnesses at our wedding. 00:03:22.18\00:03:24.77 Why not also make a covenant 00:03:24.94\00:03:27.63 with you as a part of that marriage vow 00:03:27.67\00:03:30.66 that I would have a covenant with my eyes, 00:03:30.69\00:03:33.61 that I didn't need to be looking at other women. 00:03:33.65\00:03:36.34 Now, obviously when I say this 00:03:36.80\00:03:39.50 did Job go around with blinders on his eyes? 00:03:39.54\00:03:42.48 He says: Why should I look at another mate? 00:03:42.52\00:03:45.47 So, we know Job was a very influential man. 00:03:45.50\00:03:48.42 So did he go around with some kind of blinders like horses 00:03:48.66\00:03:52.09 ware sometimes to keep his eyes directed forward? 00:03:52.12\00:03:55.23 Certainly not! 00:03:55.69\00:03:57.41 But looking at a woman or seeing a woman pass by; 00:03:57.45\00:04:02.04 I mean we're on airports a lot of times and, 00:04:02.41\00:04:04.71 in fact not long ago my wife 00:04:04.74\00:04:07.72 as we were sitting there she said: "Honey 00:04:07.76\00:04:10.13 look at that lady! 00:04:10.39\00:04:12.13 Isn't she beautiful? " 00:04:12.16\00:04:13.83 Do you remember that dear? - Yes I remember that! 00:04:13.87\00:04:16.39 Now here's my wife, I've made this kind of commitment to her 00:04:16.43\00:04:19.75 and now she trusts me so much that she can 00:04:19.78\00:04:23.48 say: "Look at this beautiful woman 00:04:23.51\00:04:25.11 walking down the airport! " 00:04:25.14\00:04:26.60 Well, I didn't particularly think that, 00:04:26.64\00:04:28.65 that woman was so beautiful but 00:04:28.68\00:04:30.71 that's because you can trust me! 00:04:30.75\00:04:32.75 So, it isn't that we can't look at another woman, 00:04:32.92\00:04:36.14 man as they may walk by 00:04:36.17\00:04:38.43 or that we have to shut our eyes every time 00:04:38.47\00:04:40.96 we have a woman, we wouldn't be able to do that 00:04:41.00\00:04:43.46 when she comes into our view. 00:04:43.77\00:04:45.70 The key here with this covenant 00:04:45.74\00:04:47.64 that I've made is 00:04:47.67\00:04:49.18 what am I taking a second look for? Ok? 00:04:49.22\00:04:52.63 If I'm taking a second look 00:04:53.09\00:04:55.91 at a woman that walks by 00:04:56.10\00:04:57.96 what's the reason? 00:04:57.99\00:04:59.59 Is there an improper reason that I'm looking the second time? 00:04:59.63\00:05:03.71 That's where we make this covenant, 00:05:03.74\00:05:05.18 that's what we're looking at the purpose for. 00:05:05.22\00:05:07.72 So the first point then is this to make a covenant 00:05:07.76\00:05:10.20 with our eyes. And it doesn't just mean for men 00:05:10.23\00:05:12.63 Although the Scriptures address it from a man's perspective. 00:05:12.67\00:05:15.56 - That's right! - But women need to make 00:05:15.59\00:05:17.86 that same commitment, that same covenant. 00:05:17.90\00:05:20.14 In the society that we live today, women are just as 00:05:20.17\00:05:23.89 morally impure shall we say? Aggressively impure 00:05:25.71\00:05:29.33 as traditionally has been men in past generations. 00:05:29.36\00:05:32.95 They certainly are more aggressive today! 00:05:32.98\00:05:34.99 I mean it's obvious! Even though - Definitely! 00:05:35.03\00:05:36.35 out there in the dating scene 00:05:36.38\00:05:38.49 it's obvious that women are much more aggressive 00:05:38.87\00:05:40.92 in relationships than they were you know, back in our day. 00:05:40.96\00:05:46.45 That wasn't all that long ago, but 25 years ago! 00:05:46.48\00:05:47.93 That's right! But women need to, we as women need to make 00:05:47.97\00:05:51.23 that same covenant with our eyes that when we see a man 00:05:51.27\00:05:54.50 that we don't look at that man to lust after him 00:05:54.53\00:05:58.21 or to start thinking thoughts of: "Oh, you know, 00:05:58.24\00:06:00.87 well I wish my husband looked like him!" or 00:06:00.90\00:06:02.90 maybe it's not so much the out world looks, it's what we see 00:06:02.94\00:06:06.13 how they relate in their work place or in the Church. 00:06:06.67\00:06:09.92 And they start saying: "Oh, I wish my husband could be like 00:06:09.96\00:06:12.66 him!" and become to stunner with our husband. 00:06:12.69\00:06:15.38 We need to guard the avenue of our eyes! 00:06:15.41\00:06:19.17 So, the second area: 00:06:20.41\00:06:22.29 dress. 00:06:22.32\00:06:23.83 How does dress effect, you know, moral purity? 00:06:23.87\00:06:27.42 How we choose to dress as women affect moral purity! 00:06:27.79\00:06:32.53 We can either be a stumbling block to men 00:06:32.75\00:06:36.64 or we can be, help maintain the purity of our marriage 00:06:37.01\00:06:40.79 by how we dress. And I know for me and my experience, 00:06:40.82\00:06:44.57 in my life I've chosen to dress with modesty. 00:06:44.60\00:06:48.45 I found the blessing of that! No low cut tops 00:06:48.49\00:06:52.10 or midriff showing or minis or tight cloths! 00:06:52.14\00:06:55.72 All of those things that we see prevalent every where we go 00:06:55.90\00:06:59.75 it's in billboards it's in advertisements, 00:06:59.78\00:07:02.14 it's on the street it's in our face constantly! 00:07:02.18\00:07:04.14 It's in the Church today! All those things 00:07:04.17\00:07:07.28 only deteriorate the moral integrity of a marriage! 00:07:07.32\00:07:11.52 And really what happens is that dress makes a statement 00:07:11.55\00:07:15.72 and sometimes those statements are misinterpreted. 00:07:15.75\00:07:18.71 There are maybe people even listening now that 00:07:18.75\00:07:21.64 don't mean to be immoral or to be degrading moral purity 00:07:21.68\00:07:25.36 by how they dress. It may be just how they were raised. 00:07:25.40\00:07:29.05 But if as we start evaluating I know that you 00:07:29.30\00:07:32.32 began to evaluate that early in our marriage 00:07:32.35\00:07:35.34 and started recognizing that, 00:07:35.37\00:07:37.40 you know, if you want me to stay pure and 00:07:37.44\00:07:41.49 stay with you, watch your influence also on other men. 00:07:41.86\00:07:45.80 and what's the effect that you may be having in your dress. 00:07:45.83\00:07:49.42 And it also works for men! 00:07:49.45\00:07:51.62 I think that men, we have to be also recognizing that 00:07:51.66\00:07:55.99 well, the question mat not be a low cut top. 00:07:56.37\00:08:00.33 We can talk about are we dressing modestly? 00:08:00.37\00:08:03.94 Are we conducting ourselves with proper reserve 00:08:03.98\00:08:07.50 in how we carry ourselves in those kinds of things. 00:08:07.53\00:08:11.02 I found that when I began to dress more modestly, 00:08:11.31\00:08:14.63 because I wasn't always as modest as I am today, 00:08:14.66\00:08:17.91 that I actually found a respect of men for me growing 00:08:17.95\00:08:22.40 like you know, you go to - That's right! 00:08:22.43\00:08:23.88 store on the old days, you know, when you 00:08:23.91\00:08:25.33 used to have to open the door 00:08:25.36\00:08:26.93 and you pull the open. 00:08:26.96\00:08:28.42 Those were the old days! Now anywhere you go, almost 00:08:28.46\00:08:30.90 it has little lights as you're coming in 00:08:30.93\00:08:32.89 and the door is open for you. But I made an interesting 00:08:32.93\00:08:37.09 observation that whenever I was in more dress down attired 00:08:37.12\00:08:41.25 like tight jeans and T- shorts or shorts 00:08:41.28\00:08:44.00 or whatever I found that almost always I opened the door 00:08:44.04\00:08:48.29 for myself. But if I was going to the same store 00:08:48.32\00:08:51.25 it doesn't matter what aged man, it could have been 00:08:51.29\00:08:54.19 a young man or an older gentleman, 00:08:54.22\00:08:56.28 and if I had on a feminine attire that was modest 00:08:56.31\00:09:01.28 always I had someone open the door for me! 00:09:01.31\00:09:03.33 And I thought that was very interesting, 00:09:03.36\00:09:05.31 even today I experience that. - That's right! 00:09:05.35\00:09:06.84 Recently we were at 00:09:06.87\00:09:09.12 a National Park and we were going into one of those stores, 00:09:09.15\00:09:12.37 they didn't have the automatic openers. 00:09:12.40\00:09:14.73 And this young boy, he couldn't been 18 or 19 at the most 00:09:14.77\00:09:19.25 and he saw me coming and the girl that he was with 00:09:19.43\00:09:22.30 opened the door for herself. When I got to the door 00:09:22.34\00:09:24.62 this young man opened the door for me and I was 00:09:24.65\00:09:26.98 going in there, you know, dressed very modestly 00:09:27.01\00:09:29.31 and femininely. And we can draw out 00:09:29.34\00:09:32.73 the finer virtues of a man 00:09:32.76\00:09:35.30 - Amen! by learning to let God 00:09:35.36\00:09:37.87 have our hearts and how we dress in modesty. 00:09:37.91\00:09:40.98 And let God help us to develop that 00:09:41.01\00:09:45.23 moral purity in our marriages. 00:09:45.26\00:09:47.69 The third area that we like to talk about is deportment. 00:09:48.07\00:09:51.18 Deportment what is that? It's how we carry ourselves, 00:09:51.21\00:09:54.89 it's how we approach people, it's how we interact with people 00:09:54.93\00:09:58.30 You know, 00:09:58.83\00:10:00.07 unfortunately back in my 00:10:00.11\00:10:02.67 high school years 00:10:03.97\00:10:05.51 I was known as a flirt. And I'm not proud of that 00:10:05.55\00:10:09.48 but that's who I was back then. 00:10:09.51\00:10:11.76 And so, how I carried myself it was not unusual for me to be 00:10:11.80\00:10:16.53 very flirtatious with the other girls in the school. 00:10:16.56\00:10:20.65 And you can get a reputation for that and 00:10:20.98\00:10:23.88 you can be known in your deportment 00:10:23.91\00:10:26.07 for how you conduct yourself. 00:10:26.10\00:10:28.93 And now, as my dear wife knows, 00:10:28.96\00:10:31.76 that's not a part of my life anymore. 00:10:31.79\00:10:33.69 But how we conduct our business, how we interact 00:10:33.73\00:10:37.64 how we get in people's space, how we 00:10:37.67\00:10:41.03 you know, our tone of voice and 00:10:41.06\00:10:43.23 our inflections of voice can determine how we 00:10:43.27\00:10:47.92 interact with someone and what 00:10:47.95\00:10:49.30 that does in the area of moral purity! 00:10:49.34\00:10:51.67 The deportment that we have 00:10:52.02\00:10:54.71 reflects what's really in the heart 00:10:54.75\00:10:56.77 because we cat on the outside 00:10:56.80\00:10:58.98 what's really on the inside! - Yes! 00:10:59.02\00:11:01.68 And the more we act out thinking 00:11:01.72\00:11:04.31 that you know, we can stop ourselves or 00:11:04.35\00:11:06.47 this is just a little bit of flirtatiousness. 00:11:06.51\00:11:09.45 It's just an opportunity for the Devil to open the door 00:11:09.49\00:11:14.40 wider and wider to fall into temptation. 00:11:14.43\00:11:16.79 And it may seem innocent at the beginning 00:11:16.83\00:11:19.12 but it progresses very quickly! - That's right! 00:11:19.16\00:11:21.72 And it destroys the moral purity of a marriage. 00:11:21.75\00:11:24.15 And it causes a lot of insecurity in 00:11:24.50\00:11:26.92 a marriage relationship, between a husband and a wife, 00:11:26.96\00:11:29.41 and it works both ways. It also causes jealousies 00:11:29.44\00:11:32.81 to begin to develop! And, you know, all of those 00:11:32.84\00:11:37.08 factors begin to weaken that commitment in marriage. 00:11:37.11\00:11:41.32 That's right! 00:11:41.35\00:11:42.54 So, what else can we do? 00:11:43.04\00:11:45.76 What else? What's the fourth area? 00:11:45.80\00:11:48.73 The fourth are that we wanna talk about is 00:11:48.77\00:11:51.02 what we see with our eyes, what we choose to read 00:11:51.06\00:11:55.39 with our eyes! Because what we put in to our mind is what 00:11:55.42\00:12:00.71 we live in our thoughts and what begins 00:12:00.74\00:12:03.10 to become experienced in our lives. 00:12:03.14\00:12:05.43 So, for us in our marriage we have made the agreement 00:12:05.47\00:12:08.99 that we will not put anything, we would not read anything 00:12:09.41\00:12:12.99 that is going to cause us to start to 00:12:13.02\00:12:16.65 loose the moral purity in our marriage! 00:12:16.68\00:12:20.28 So, reading, how about hearing? 00:12:20.55\00:12:23.96 Things we listen to! 00:12:24.14\00:12:25.86 Music today has an incredible impact in people's lives. 00:12:25.90\00:12:29.67 The kinds of music that we listen to can either be 00:12:29.79\00:12:32.90 uplifting us or can actually be degrading in the moral purity. 00:12:32.94\00:12:37.69 Because everything in our society 00:12:37.72\00:12:39.90 is downgrading morality today! 00:12:39.94\00:12:42.09 So, what's really we're talking about the senses! 00:12:42.57\00:12:44.54 - Yes! - What we hear! 00:12:44.57\00:12:46.66 What we see, even some of the smells we smell 00:12:46.70\00:12:50.42 all are part of maintaining or destroying 00:12:50.46\00:12:53.40 the purity in our marriages! - That's right! 00:12:53.43\00:12:56.71 So, there's advertisements, the billboards, 00:12:56.74\00:12:59.85 the magazine advertisements, everywhere you go 00:12:59.89\00:13:02.97 we are bombarded by those things. 00:13:03.00\00:13:04.98 Are we going to study those things and look at them 00:13:05.02\00:13:07.51 and lust after them or are we going to see it and say: 00:13:07.54\00:13:11.67 "I don't want that to be a part" And we change our thoughts, 00:13:11.71\00:13:14.45 we change the direction of our eyes. We change, 00:13:14.48\00:13:17.51 we choose to change the direction of our thoughts! 00:13:17.55\00:13:20.57 Well, and right now we need to make a break. 00:13:20.60\00:13:23.59 So, we want you to stay with us! 00:13:23.62\00:13:26.44 We'll be back in just a moment! 00:13:26.47\00:13:29.28 There are many "How to?" books available, 00:13:39.03\00:13:40.90 but there's one that's free and perfect for every couple: 00:13:40.94\00:13:44.34 how you can "Build a Better Marriage". 00:13:44.37\00:13:46.77 Bible-based, matrimonial advice 00:13:47.23\00:13:49.13 is given in a lighthearted, easy-to-read manner, 00:13:49.17\00:13:51.85 for those contemplating marriage, 00:13:51.88\00:13:53.41 newlyweds, couples in their golden years, 00:13:53.45\00:13:56.24 and everyone in-between. 00:13:56.27\00:13:57.86 Simply call or write for your free copy 00:13:57.90\00:14:00.39 of this amazing little booklet, a handy little tool 00:14:00.43\00:14:03.22 to help build a better marriage. 00:14:03.25\00:14:05.31 Welcome back! We've been talking about moral purity 00:14:14.32\00:14:17.31 and how it affects the marriage. 00:14:17.34\00:14:18.97 We've just been talking about the things that we read, 00:14:19.01\00:14:22.80 the things that we see. And there's a Scripture that 00:14:22.83\00:14:26.59 really brings this right in the focus 00:14:26.62\00:14:28.64 if we look at it and consider it practically. 00:14:28.68\00:14:30.86 It's taken from Philippians the fourth chapter in the 8 verse 00:14:30.90\00:14:34.68 it says: "whatsoever things are true, 00:14:34.71\00:14:37.89 honest, just, pure, 00:14:38.72\00:14:42.13 lovely, of good report; 00:14:42.71\00:14:45.69 if there be any virtue, 00:14:45.72\00:14:48.67 or praise, think on these things. " 00:14:49.32\00:14:52.81 Now, I know that for many, that is a 00:14:53.56\00:14:55.34 a familiar verse and yet 00:14:55.37\00:14:58.10 I wonder if it is a familiar experience. 00:14:58.14\00:15:01.37 I know for us that a lot of times we knew 00:15:01.41\00:15:04.57 these Bible verses and yet now bringing them into 00:15:04.61\00:15:08.00 our experience has made a huge difference. 00:15:08.03\00:15:11.32 If we really look at these words 00:15:11.35\00:15:13.95 then it takes in everything we read. 00:15:13.99\00:15:16.38 It takes in everything we view. 00:15:16.41\00:15:19.21 It takes in every aspect of where our senses are taking us. 00:15:19.25\00:15:24.27 And so, it's very important that 00:15:24.30\00:15:26.60 we take these words, especially as Christians and say: 00:15:26.64\00:15:30.72 "How are these applying in my real life today?" 00:15:30.75\00:15:34.09 God gave us our senses. He gave us those to enjoy 00:15:34.12\00:15:37.03 the things of beauty and holiness and righteousness. 00:15:37.07\00:15:39.91 That's how He created us! And He wants us to keep that focus 00:15:39.95\00:15:44.18 and use our senses which are gifts to us for that purpose. 00:15:44.21\00:15:48.41 So we have to consider, we can't always stop 00:15:48.44\00:15:50.93 what we see or what we hear but 00:15:50.96\00:15:52.93 we have to consider what are we doing with 00:15:52.97\00:15:54.50 within our thoughts - That's right! 00:15:54.53\00:15:55.96 when it comes in! Are we really managing those thoughts? 00:15:56.00\00:15:58.54 You know, if you're on the computer 00:15:58.57\00:16:00.66 and we have a computer and you have the internet. 00:16:00.70\00:16:03.01 I mean you can be going for something 00:16:03.04\00:16:04.97 that you're looking for and here can be something 00:16:05.01\00:16:06.80 that flashes on the screen. Sometimes I've been shocked 00:16:06.84\00:16:10.71 to see what comes up there, to look you know. And you don't 00:16:10.75\00:16:13.85 have to look. I mean they - That's right! 00:16:13.88\00:16:15.74 flash on, they grab your attention, your eyes naturally 00:16:15.78\00:16:18.55 go there, but what do we choose to do with that? 00:16:18.58\00:16:21.06 Do we look at? Do we read it? Do we study it? 00:16:21.09\00:16:23.56 Or are we willing to click it off? 00:16:23.59\00:16:25.53 - That's right! - And I know some people 00:16:25.57\00:16:26.71 that put blocks on their computer. They don't want 00:16:26.75\00:16:28.63 that kind of thing on there. 00:16:28.66\00:16:30.02 And there are many things that we can do practically 00:16:30.06\00:16:33.87 to keep the moral purity in our marriage. 00:16:33.90\00:16:36.35 - That's right! - The more pure we are 00:16:36.38\00:16:38.78 in our marriage the more fulfillment we have 00:16:38.82\00:16:43.19 in the intimacy of our marriage. 00:16:43.22\00:16:45.33 The less pure we are in our marriage and the more 00:16:45.37\00:16:47.57 we let our thoughts wonder out there about someone else, 00:16:47.61\00:16:51.17 even if it's just a look, how does she look, 00:16:51.20\00:16:53.74 how does he look, 00:16:53.77\00:16:55.12 destroys the intimacy in the marriage! 00:16:55.48\00:16:59.67 So, let's challenge our viewing audience 00:17:00.00\00:17:02.86 with what are you really doing? 00:17:02.89\00:17:04.89 If you wanna have a marriage that's heart to heart 00:17:04.93\00:17:07.82 what are you doing with real life? 00:17:07.85\00:17:10.89 Not the theories, you know this verse talks about 00:17:10.93\00:17:13.75 whatsoever things are true, honest, lovely, of a good report 00:17:13.79\00:17:17.65 and the virtue in it 00:17:17.68\00:17:19.40 If we would take just this one verse 00:17:19.44\00:17:22.16 it would cover what we're talking about today 00:17:22.20\00:17:25.11 If we allow Christ to make this practical. 00:17:25.14\00:17:28.29 Anything that comes to us on the television, 00:17:28.32\00:17:31.44 through advertising, the magazines that come 00:17:31.58\00:17:34.74 into the home, any of those things if we really let God 00:17:34.78\00:17:38.14 govern us in those things, it's gonna have an effect 00:17:38.17\00:17:41.50 on our moral purity. - That's right! 00:17:41.53\00:17:43.12 Even the music we listen to. 00:17:43.15\00:17:45.09 The music is an avenue that - That's right! 00:17:45.13\00:17:46.98 can come right in and we can be caught up with the music 00:17:47.02\00:17:51.31 and miss the lyrics that are going on. 00:17:51.34\00:17:53.71 And the lyrics can be planting thoughts in our minds 00:17:53.75\00:17:56.74 that will lead us down to impurity, 00:17:56.77\00:18:00.80 down the road. - That's right! 00:18:00.83\00:18:01.97 And so, even the music we listen to, we have to have 00:18:02.01\00:18:05.37 be sensitive that we are putting only those things 00:18:05.40\00:18:08.74 that are good in our minds. 00:18:08.77\00:18:11.63 And music is a choice! We can't always choose 00:18:11.67\00:18:14.27 when we walk into a store what we hear. But we can choose 00:18:14.31\00:18:16.91 to tune out what we're hearing there. 00:18:16.94\00:18:19.09 And when we engage our minds, when I engage my mind 00:18:19.13\00:18:22.55 in the store that music doesn't affect me. 00:18:22.58\00:18:24.63 But when I tune in to that music it begins to affect me. 00:18:24.67\00:18:28.05 And everything in the world is designed 00:18:28.45\00:18:30.91 to destroy moral purity. - Yes! 00:18:30.94\00:18:33.29 Everything that Satan has done! 00:18:33.33\00:18:35.65 Well, I'm thankful that we decided, when we got married 00:18:35.69\00:18:39.39 not to have a television 00:18:39.42\00:18:40.79 in our home. - Me too! 00:18:40.82\00:18:42.16 I'm very thankful for that! - I mean, yes it's true that 00:18:42.19\00:18:45.06 television is a tool. It can be a positive tool 00:18:45.09\00:18:48.74 if it's used appropriately. But there's not much on there. 00:18:48.78\00:18:52.81 And I think our viewing audience recognizes that 00:18:52.84\00:18:56.99 there's so much damaging material that comes on TV, 00:18:57.03\00:19:01.15 that if we're not guarded 00:19:01.60\00:19:03.85 we won't maintain purity, because the kind of nature 00:19:04.14\00:19:07.13 the flash wants to naturally draw 00:19:07.16\00:19:09.74 into those things that are not appropriate. 00:19:09.78\00:19:11.97 And so, it's been a blessing in our home 00:19:12.00\00:19:14.54 not to have that temptation to deal with. 00:19:14.57\00:19:17.41 And our young people have often said: 00:19:17.45\00:19:20.28 "How do people have time for TV? 00:19:20.31\00:19:23.26 Where's the time for TV? We have so many other things 00:19:23.30\00:19:26.88 that we enjoy doing that we wouldn't even know 00:19:26.91\00:19:29.73 how they have time for the television. " 00:19:29.76\00:19:32.10 The sad thing is that many people 00:19:32.35\00:19:34.55 make time for the TV at the expense of the 00:19:34.58\00:19:36.84 the more blessed things in the marriage and 00:19:36.87\00:19:38.99 in the enjoyment and recreation of a family. 00:19:39.03\00:19:41.08 That's right! Well, you know sometimes peoples say: 00:19:41.12\00:19:43.79 "Well, I only look at good programs!" 00:19:43.82\00:19:46.67 and we can be selective in choosing our programs. 00:19:46.71\00:19:49.45 But we can't choose the commercials and 00:19:49.48\00:19:51.27 the advertisements that come on. 00:19:51.30\00:19:52.41 - That's right! - And there's a human curiosity 00:19:52.45\00:19:55.41 that's in all of us to question, to wonder, 00:19:55.44\00:19:59.07 to look for. What's on the other side of that? 00:19:59.11\00:20:02.71 You know, so, the television 00:20:02.74\00:20:04.64 can be a tool that's very destructive to moral purity. 00:20:05.22\00:20:08.91 And the fifth area that we wanna talk about today 00:20:08.94\00:20:11.36 is the area of inappropriate familiarity with one another. 00:20:11.40\00:20:16.92 And I think we see a lot of that displayed 00:20:16.95\00:20:20.00 in all kind of the program and on TV today. 00:20:20.03\00:20:23.05 We see it every were we go 00:20:23.08\00:20:24.67 undue familiarity. You know, the flirtatious talking 00:20:24.71\00:20:29.54 or the flirtatious gestures, the 00:20:29.57\00:20:33.18 jesting and the joking, all of those things 00:20:33.22\00:20:36.00 break down that moral purity! - That's right! 00:20:36.04\00:20:38.79 That's right! Even improper touching 00:20:38.82\00:20:42.18 that happens in the workplace. 00:20:42.54\00:20:44.04 It's very common in businesses that people will 00:20:44.08\00:20:47.59 touch each other inappropriately. 00:20:47.62\00:20:49.63 Lots of hugging and things like that, that 00:20:49.67\00:20:52.43 are not really appropriate and all those things 00:20:52.47\00:20:55.93 they lead to a familiarity that's not appropriate. 00:20:56.25\00:20:59.76 If you find yourself, just think about own experience, 00:20:59.80\00:21:03.28 how you relate in the marriage with your own wife 00:21:03.31\00:21:06.35 or your husband and then how you relate 00:21:06.38\00:21:09.35 in some of your social settings or in your employment settings. 00:21:09.39\00:21:12.85 It's often easier to convey the idea that you're very 00:21:12.88\00:21:17.87 loving, lovable person, 00:21:17.90\00:21:19.84 and you're wonderful. - Happy! 00:21:19.88\00:21:20.90 Yes! You're just a happy person and everything 00:21:20.94\00:21:23.14 when that's not really what's being conveyed in the home! 00:21:23.18\00:21:26.62 And often times that undue, improper familiarity 00:21:27.07\00:21:32.91 leads to stress in the marriage and leads to inappropriate 00:21:33.56\00:21:38.74 relationships over here in this situation. 00:21:38.77\00:21:41.44 It's so common! We see it even in the Church, 00:21:41.47\00:21:44.92 the Christian Church today! It's every where you go! 00:21:44.96\00:21:47.29 You know, 30- 40 years ago you wouldn't see 00:21:47.71\00:21:49.75 that kind of conduct in a work place. 00:21:49.78\00:21:52.55 You know it would be bar type conduct! 00:21:52.59\00:21:55.11 Now it's every where you go. - Yes! 00:21:55.14\00:21:57.59 And, you can't always trust, I mean you may think you're pure 00:21:57.63\00:22:01.78 but you don't know what's in 00:22:01.81\00:22:02.85 the thoughts of the other person. 00:22:02.89\00:22:04.47 And I know there have been many marriages destroyed 00:22:04.51\00:22:07.81 through this avenue. You know, and I knew a young lady, 00:22:07.84\00:22:11.11 a beautiful young woman, happily married 00:22:11.14\00:22:13.91 and she got the opportunity to be an executive secretary 00:22:13.95\00:22:17.22 for the president of a large firm 00:22:17.25\00:22:19.31 and she went in there with the thoughts: 00:22:19.68\00:22:22.27 "This is going to be a career advancement!" 00:22:22.31\00:22:24.83 She was pure, she was simple, she was wholesome. 00:22:24.87\00:22:28.54 But her boss wasn't a moral man! He was an immoral man! 00:22:28.81\00:22:32.44 She didn't know this! In his thoughts 00:22:32.47\00:22:34.79 he did not have purity. He was not only for his wife! 00:22:34.83\00:22:39.54 He used his time to look at other women and 00:22:39.57\00:22:42.42 let his mind go on that. 00:22:42.45\00:22:44.26 And so, as they began working she was very efficient, 00:22:44.30\00:22:47.54 she was a very good secretary and he appreciated that 00:22:47.58\00:22:50.53 and started complementing her and complementing her. 00:22:50.57\00:22:53.45 Then he had projects he needed her to stay for after work. 00:22:53.49\00:22:56.57 And she felt secure, she felt needed, she felt 00:22:56.60\00:22:59.59 important and you know, the work needed to get done. 00:22:59.62\00:23:02.61 And then it was a little touch on her shoulder. 00:23:02.64\00:23:04.58 And then pretty soon it was him coming to her desk 00:23:04.62\00:23:06.53 and touching her hand. And it went from that to, you know 00:23:06.56\00:23:10.06 "Good-morning! Glad to see you!" 00:23:10.09\00:23:11.56 and a good-morning embrace and a hug goodbye. 00:23:11.60\00:23:14.64 And eventually led them to immoral acts! 00:23:14.67\00:23:17.54 - That's right! - And it was a subtle 00:23:17.57\00:23:20.41 destruction of the purity! 00:23:21.54\00:23:24.37 - That's right! - And the sad thing is 00:23:24.41\00:23:26.81 is that in the very act of adultery 00:23:26.84\00:23:29.20 she lost her marriage through this. 00:23:29.23\00:23:31.52 And the man, who was the immorally pure man 00:23:31.56\00:23:34.88 - Impure man! - He's the impure man! 00:23:35.39\00:23:37.20 He's the one who was able to keep his marriage. 00:23:37.24\00:23:41.08 But it didn't change what he did! 00:23:41.11\00:23:42.89 It was still a problem that he had! 00:23:42.93\00:23:44.68 That's right! 00:23:44.71\00:23:46.70 So, what are we gonna do? 00:23:47.10\00:23:49.31 If you find yourselves in situations that you think are 00:23:49.55\00:23:53.48 just the way it's socially acceptable today 00:23:53.51\00:23:57.35 I tell you there are things that are socially acceptable 00:23:57.39\00:24:00.47 today, there are completely unacceptable to the Lord! 00:24:00.51\00:24:03.29 And if you find yourself in one of those situations 00:24:03.33\00:24:06.08 And you're trying to comfort yourself that it's ok, 00:24:06.31\00:24:09.42 other people do it 00:24:09.45\00:24:11.13 get away from that kind of unfamiliar 00:24:11.48\00:24:16.56 too familiar, improper kind of conduct in your workplace, 00:24:16.60\00:24:20.75 in your Church setting, in your social settings, 00:24:20.78\00:24:23.86 because it's very destructive to the moral purity 00:24:23.89\00:24:26.25 of your own marriage! 00:24:26.28\00:24:27.60 Often times I'll put my hand out when I go to greet someone 00:24:27.64\00:24:30.88 to let them know, a man know that, 00:24:30.91\00:24:32.98 you know this is what I'm comfortable with! 00:24:33.02\00:24:35.45 And I've often said to you: "Honey!" 00:24:35.48\00:24:37.05 I shouldn't say often but there have been times I said to you: 00:24:37.09\00:24:39.52 "Honey, I'm not comfortable around this person!" 00:24:39.55\00:24:42.50 God helps us, when we make the decision to be morally pure 00:24:42.54\00:24:45.93 He helps us gain discernment 00:24:46.03\00:24:49.26 when someone may be different in their thoughts 00:24:49.30\00:24:52.99 towards us than we are towards them. 00:24:53.02\00:24:55.08 - That's right! - And you've always been there 00:24:55.12\00:24:56.65 to be that security, that barrier, that protection for me. 00:24:56.69\00:25:01.74 And I really count on you for that! 00:25:01.77\00:25:03.75 It's been very interesting, you know, as my wife 00:25:03.79\00:25:05.78 mentioned this particular perception, 00:25:05.81\00:25:09.07 this inside. She has never been wrong! 00:25:09.11\00:25:12.34 And I can think of several individuals 00:25:12.91\00:25:14.96 over our 25 years of marriage that 00:25:15.00\00:25:17.03 Alane has come to me and she said: 00:25:17.06\00:25:19.02 "Honey, there's something morally impure about that man! 00:25:19.06\00:25:24.08 And I'm very uncomfortable 00:25:24.11\00:25:25.69 when he tries to get into my space. " 00:25:25.73\00:25:28.30 And in all of the cases that is happened 00:25:28.75\00:25:32.10 it has been demonstrated that that person was morally impure. 00:25:32.14\00:25:36.13 And it's incredible to me that God gives that kind of insides 00:25:36.16\00:25:40.12 if we're really desiring of choosing moral purity. 00:25:40.15\00:25:42.72 Amen! That's what God wants to do for us! 00:25:42.75\00:25:44.58 He desires us to keep our moral purity. 00:25:44.62\00:25:46.86 Well the sixth area we'd better talk about 00:25:46.90\00:25:49.49 to our viewers today is the area that we can 00:25:49.52\00:25:52.04 all participate in, like the other ones we've discussed. 00:25:52.08\00:25:54.94 And that is trough prayer. We can pray that God 00:25:54.97\00:25:57.23 will create in us a clean heart! - Amen! 00:25:57.26\00:26:00.18 That's something we can do actively, daily, 00:26:00.21\00:26:02.92 even in a moment of temptation. Even in a moment of 00:26:02.96\00:26:06.39 being not sure how the situation is gonna come 00:26:06.42\00:26:09.55 we can ask the Lord to give us a pure thought, 00:26:09.58\00:26:13.02 a pure heart! - Amen! And He will! Because 00:26:13.06\00:26:16.47 God will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves! 00:26:16.50\00:26:19.45 But we need to be willing to ask! We need to recognize 00:26:19.49\00:26:22.43 our need! And this is a need today! 00:26:22.46\00:26:25.27 And as we come to the close of this session today 00:26:25.31\00:26:28.91 I'd like us to pray especially for the needs 00:26:28.94\00:26:31.37 of our viewing audience as well as ourselves 00:26:31.41\00:26:33.81 for this moral purity! 00:26:33.84\00:26:35.26 Father in Heaven we know that 00:26:36.62\00:26:38.22 we live in a very degenerate society that is continuing to 00:26:38.26\00:26:41.45 go down hill. We pray that as Christians 00:26:42.54\00:26:45.06 we will be living Christians, that we will allow You 00:26:45.10\00:26:48.39 to work in us, to truly create in us clean hearts 00:26:48.42\00:26:51.68 and that we will manifest those clean hearts 00:26:51.71\00:26:53.48 in our own marriages. That we will guard these six areas, 00:26:53.52\00:26:57.55 these avenues of moral impurity, 00:26:57.58\00:27:00.64 that we can have strong homes and that we can represent You 00:27:00.68\00:27:04.00 to a hurting and dying world! 00:27:04.48\00:27:06.70 In Jesus name Amen! 00:27:06.73\00:27:08.93 Well, you know, we're looking forward to next 00:27:10.04\00:27:13.13 next time we get together! 00:27:13.61\00:27:15.26 Meaningful intimacy! Mutually meaningful intimacy 00:27:15.30\00:27:21.20 is a subject that we're looking forward to talking about! 00:27:21.24\00:27:24.20 Because it won't just be meaningful for one person 00:27:24.23\00:27:26.63 in the marriage! It will be meaningful for both! 00:27:26.66\00:27:29.03 And we want you to have a meaningful experience 00:27:29.06\00:27:32.34 in your marriage! So, join us next time 00:27:32.37\00:27:34.98 on Marriage Heart to Heart where we'll be talking about 00:27:35.41\00:27:38.64 something that's meaningful to each marriage 00:27:38.67\00:27:40.85 that will take us closer to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! 00:27:40.89\00:27:44.84 We look forward to seeing you back! 00:27:45.26\00:27:47.45 Captions and translations by ChMS: www.chms.ro 00:28:26.88\00:28:28.59