Welcome to
Marriage Heart to Heart!
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We're Tom & Alane Waters
with Restoration International
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Today we're gonna be sharing
with you handling our emotions.
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And there's some beautiful
principles from the Word of God.
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So, we hope you
have a paper and pencil
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and take some
notes as we talk about
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this important subject today.
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Emotions, that's
quite a topic isn't it?
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- It is! We all have
them too! - That's right!
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So, it's not just
women? - It's not just women!
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And there are a lot of different
kinds of emotions aren't there?
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There's all kinds of emotions!
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Well, we're
gonna be talking about
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some of the most
common destructive emotions.
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You know, we don't
have to spend a lot of time
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talking about the
ones that are happy
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and joyful and up building.
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We need to be talking about
how we can get passed the ones
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that we don't want,
that are destructive
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emotions like fear
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and the anger and hate.
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Even the word hate
is terrible isn't it?
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- Yes, it's very
coarse! - That's right!
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Bitterness, jealousy,
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grief, now grief, well,
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grief is a normal
process that we go through
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especially when we
lose someone that we love,
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we often think of it
in death. But even grief
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if it is not
handled appropriately
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can be very
destructive and devastating.
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Anxiety, which
is a common emotion
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a response that we
can often enter into.
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Guilt and depression;
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that's quite a list of
them! - There's a big list and
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I think many couples
experience a varying of any one
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or a number of those
through their married life.
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- That's right! -
And they're emotions
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that will
destroy the relationship
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and destroys the
person. And when the person
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allows themselves
to become destroyed,
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the relationship dies
with it. - That's right!
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So, why don't we talk
about defining emotions?
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We don't already
know what they are?
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We know what they are!
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How they manifest themselves!
- But where do they come from?
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- Yes! - It's
something that happens
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in our mind. It's a thought
that stimulates the mind,
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an excitement and it
leads to a visible response.
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Something that we can
feel, something that can be seen
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in our countenance, in our
eyes. I've often told you honey
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"Your eyes are changing!
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They're not as bright
maybe as they were a few
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moments before. " You know, and
you say the same thing to me.
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We wear our emotions as
something we can't control.
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They are a visible manifestation
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of what is
happening in our thoughts.
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So we can't control them
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that's what we're
gonna be talking about.
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But when we're experiencing them
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can't necessarily
hide them - That's right!
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as well as we
might want to sometimes.
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- We can't cover
them up! - That's right!
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We can't control how
we are in the outside.
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But we can learn through Christ
how to change our emotions
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where they
start: in the thoughts.
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Well, I think probably
most of the listening audience,
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the viewing audience
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knows what we are
talking about but,
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you know, as I was
thinking: emotions,
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I mean, emotions
they do have an impact.
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And I remember one day when
we were talking about emotions
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and we were trying to discover;
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you know, what
does it mean when we say
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we have an emotion?
Now we know what it is
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when we cry, ok
that's a response
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to something that's
going on inside. And I remember
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I was sitting next to you
and all of a sudden I went:
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You did it again!
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Did that have an
effect on you? - Yes it does!
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Now that typically is
not the kind of emotion
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that we are demonstrating.
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It may have that
kind of an action,
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whether it may have a loud
voice, but I think all of us
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need to recognize that when
we are experiencing emotions
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that are not being governed
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and hopefully
governed by Christ,
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they are having an
impact on someone else
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in addition to us.
They're having an emotional
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impact on us.
They're changing us.
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But it's also having an
effect just like I can do that
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and it can have an
effect on you, even though you
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know that I might do that.
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It still has an
effect doesn't it?
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And even when I'm not
prepared for it and I'm not
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expecting it the
effect is much more dramatic!
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And that's why in a
marriage when somebody's
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emotions are displayed
and the other person isn't
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expecting there's
going to be a problem,
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the effects are so
much more detrimental.
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That's right!
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So we need to talk
about what's really happening
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in emotions and what
are we going to do to
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deal with those emotions.
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You know,
there's a Bible principle
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Proverbs 23 verse 7 it says:
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"as he thinketh in his heart";
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or as she thinketh in her heart;
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"so is he" or so is she.
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So that begins to tell us that
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there is a place
where emotions begin,
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that there's a
reaction, something stimulates,
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an action or a reaction in us
and it begins in our thoughts.
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And I don't think that's a
new thought to anybody out here
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that where we begin
to think leads us to
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where we begin to act
and where we begin to speak.
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So there's a
correspondence there
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and if we understand
what's happening in our thoughts
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and what we're doing with
those thoughts then we begin to
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understand how we can work
through some of these emotions.
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So, it's what happens
in our thoughts that change
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our whole
countenance. - That's right!
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So then is it fair to say:
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"You hurt my feelings!"?
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'Cause I I've said
that to you before!
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- Yes you have! -
"You've hurt my feelings!"
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"You make me feel sad!
You make me feel angry!"
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"You make me feel irritated!"
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"You make me!" Is
that a fair statement?
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No it isn't! And that's not just
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a self
justification of myself, is it?
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No! It's not! 'Cause you've
told me the same things too!
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Ok? We really can't blame
somebody else! We can't say
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that that person
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made me angry.
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Now, what we
really mean by that is:
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What you did to me
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is causing me to feel
like I feel right now.
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It's causing me to react
the way I'm reacting right now.
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But in reality
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that means we're being
controlled by another person,
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by their actions.
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What we really need
to say and what we really
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need to be honest with is that
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I have to decide as
you treat me this way
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whether I am going
to react like you are
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and I'm going to take
on the spirit that you have
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and you are therefore
going to be in control of me;
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or whether I am going to
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allow Christ to
be in control of me
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at that moment. What am I
gonna do with those thoughts?
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So, we have to go back
to our thoughts, our choices
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with those thoughts
because the stimulus comes
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to us and then we process it
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and we decide how
we're gonna respond.
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And mostly - That's right!
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our natural
inclination is to respond
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how it makes me
feel or human response.
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And this is why,
you know, the Lord says:
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"Without Me you can do nothing!"
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- That's right!
- We can't control
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our emotions without the Lord!
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Without Christ it is impossible
for us to control our emotions!
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But with Him all things
are possible. And I know
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when we began to
understand this in our marriage
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the tremendous
difference it made.
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So if you would respond,
I'll say in a negative way to me
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rather than letting
my mind start going down
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"You hurt my
feelings! You make me feel sad!"
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or this or that, I
then choose to think
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by Christ working in my thoughts
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that "I know he really
didn't mean to say that. "
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"I know that's really
not how he feels about me!"
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"I know he's been
under a lot of stress today!"
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And it changes how I
respond which then brings about
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harmony and healing
very quickly in the marriage
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instead of a downhill situation!
- Yes! A domino effect
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that you know, one person says
something to the other person
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and they take up that
spirit and pretty soon
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you've lost the spirit
of Christ in this situation.
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I actually did an experiment one
time that was very interesting
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as I was trying to
understand more deeply myself
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what happens in
emotional responses
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So I did a little
experiment like this:
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I was sitting at my
desk, simply thinking about
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emotions and I wanted to see
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what that Bible verse
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"as he thinketh in
his heart, so is he".
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And so I began to reflect
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on a very negative situation,
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a situation that happened
between me and another person,
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a situation that
had never been resolved
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as far as that
person towards me.
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And I started thinking about it.
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And you know
within a minute or less
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I started recognizing
that my heart was pounding.
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I could feel it pounding in my
chest, I started becoming aware
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that my blood
pressure was raising.
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I started recognizing
that I was being anxious,
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that I was feeling this
anxiety coming as I was thinking
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about this situation. It's
interesting because it created
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two responses in me,
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two recognitions
I guess I could say.
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One is I never really understood
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that clearly as
I focused on that.
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What a response happens
inside of us? How it changes us?
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How our thoughts
begin to change our feelings
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and how it begins to
have an emotional response.
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Secondly in that
very situation I said:
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"There's something I
still need to deal with here!"
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"That I need to
deal with the Lord!"
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"I can't wait for
that other person!"
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You know, many times
I think the problem that
00:11:12.65\00:11:14.51
we have with
emotions that are negative
00:11:14.54\00:11:16.43
is we're waiting for somebody
else to do something to change
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then I can feel
better, then I can stop
00:11:19.94\00:11:21.66
having these emotional
responses. And I realized
00:11:21.70\00:11:24.72
that Jesus was calling to
me in that situation saying:
00:11:24.75\00:11:28.10
"Come on to Me!
00:11:28.59\00:11:29.79
All you that labor
and are heavy laden
00:11:29.91\00:11:31.50
I will give you rest!"
00:11:31.53\00:11:33.59
And so, it was
actually a beautiful experiment!
00:11:33.87\00:11:36.67
When that experiment took place
00:11:37.26\00:11:40.86
it had a dramatic effect
in our relationship as well
00:11:40.90\00:11:43.95
because you began to
recognize more clearly
00:11:43.98\00:11:46.65
how important it was
to have your thoughts
00:11:46.68\00:11:49.37
where they need to be if I
don't always respond right.
00:11:49.56\00:11:52.47
And I don't
always respond right!
00:11:52.50\00:11:54.40
I haven't always
responded right! Even though
00:11:54.44\00:11:56.75
I love you very much sometimes
my self is still there!
00:11:56.78\00:11:59.99
And when that happens
00:12:00.02\00:12:02.83
and you had that experience
I saw the direct correlation
00:12:03.23\00:12:07.02
in our marriage.
And I think it's been
00:12:07.05\00:12:10.04
a very valuable
experiment shall we say
00:12:10.08\00:12:13.00
testing the Word of God
to see how it really operates
00:12:13.04\00:12:16.22
in the real moment by moment.
00:12:16.48\00:12:18.07
And then as we understand
that the difference it can make
00:12:18.11\00:12:21.62
in our
experience. - That's right!
00:12:21.65\00:12:24.44
And I want us to recognize
as we're talking about this that
00:12:25.02\00:12:28.92
we don't have to be
controlled by emotions!
00:12:29.25\00:12:32.16
We don't have to be controlled
by somebody else's emotions!
00:12:32.34\00:12:35.60
And if we can recognize
that we can have some victories
00:12:35.69\00:12:39.34
and we can have a new experience
00:12:39.37\00:12:41.25
that God wants to give us.
00:12:41.28\00:12:42.48
If we wanna have marriages
that are truly heart to heart
00:12:43.16\00:12:46.02
we need to be
dealing with our emotions!
00:12:46.05\00:12:48.72
And it begins by
dealing with our thoughts!
00:12:48.76\00:12:51.40
Now, we need to take a break
00:12:51.43\00:12:52.72
but when we come back
we're gonna talk about
00:12:52.76\00:12:54.85
some of those
things that God wants to do
00:12:55.14\00:12:57.10
to change us so that we
can have better marriages!
00:12:57.36\00:13:00.54
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00:13:34.24\00:13:36.22
Welcome back! Where
we're talking about how
00:13:44.81\00:13:47.62
we can handle our
emotions, better yet
00:13:47.65\00:13:50.69
how we can learn to allow Christ
00:13:51.04\00:13:53.86
to give us the Grace to
handle our emotions in Him.
00:13:53.90\00:13:57.22
We've been talking about
"as we think so we become".
00:13:57.82\00:14:01.51
And I know I've talked to
many wives, not just a few,
00:14:01.54\00:14:04.65
who have the thought
their husband doesn't love them.
00:14:04.69\00:14:07.77
Now, it's true that he
may be not as sensitive
00:14:07.94\00:14:11.24
to them as he use to be.
I know I went through that
00:14:11.28\00:14:13.92
for a period of time
in our early marriage.
00:14:13.95\00:14:15.84
I didn't feel that you really
loved me the way I loved you
00:14:15.88\00:14:19.35
or the way I
thought you loved me.
00:14:19.38\00:14:21.76
But the thoughts
entertain that a husband
00:14:21.80\00:14:24.32
doesn't love his
wife if she continues
00:14:24.36\00:14:26.85
to entertain that thought
00:14:26.88\00:14:28.88
everything about what
he does is all interpreted
00:14:29.45\00:14:33.08
by that thought. And
what happens eventually
00:14:33.11\00:14:35.95
is that because of her
response in the little things
00:14:36.38\00:14:40.63
in their communication,
in their daily interactions
00:14:40.67\00:14:44.89
that she soon
creates a very atmosphere
00:14:44.92\00:14:49.26
that she's been
thinking of. Because is been so
00:14:49.60\00:14:52.17
prevalent in her
mind. And it becomes
00:14:52.20\00:14:55.05
what we call in our home
a self-fulfilling prophecy.
00:14:55.09\00:14:58.75
Yes! We've
certainly seen that happen.
00:14:59.61\00:15:03.01
I'm happy to say that
we've seen more couples
00:15:03.73\00:15:07.18
who are willing to
break that fatal cycle
00:15:07.22\00:15:10.64
of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
00:15:10.67\00:15:12.71
But we've seen
some very sadly who
00:15:13.04\00:15:15.82
continued to hold on to
these opinions and hold on to
00:15:16.13\00:15:19.82
"This is how my
husband treats me!"
00:15:19.85\00:15:21.56
and eventually
00:15:21.59\00:15:23.53
the man begins to
treat her that way even
00:15:23.57\00:15:25.53
though that's not
what was in his heart.
00:15:25.57\00:15:27.50
So it is with us for me
for you and for everyone
00:15:28.36\00:15:31.95
of our listeners out there
today that God wants to teach us
00:15:31.99\00:15:36.11
how we deal with our thoughts.
00:15:36.14\00:15:38.29
And that's why He tells
us: "Let this mind be in you,
00:15:38.33\00:15:42.26
be in Me!" which
was also in Christ Jesus
00:15:42.29\00:15:45.02
because as we learn to
have the thoughts of Christ
00:15:45.06\00:15:48.79
we learn then to have
our emotional responses
00:15:48.82\00:15:51.85
as Christ emotional responses
were to those about Him.
00:15:51.89\00:15:55.54
And His emotional
responses drew people to Him
00:15:55.57\00:15:58.82
and engendered love
and harmony and beauty!
00:15:58.85\00:16:02.07
You know, one of the
greatest blessings that
00:16:02.50\00:16:05.08
I think we've experienced
and I know personally
00:16:05.26\00:16:07.52
that I've experienced,
that has helped me in this area
00:16:07.56\00:16:10.72
of handling emotions;
00:16:10.75\00:16:12.30
is recognizing that
it's the love of myself;
00:16:12.79\00:16:16.04
it's the love of
self, the bottom of it all,
00:16:16.56\00:16:19.56
that really destroys my peace.
00:16:19.59\00:16:22.81
- And, - You
mean it's not me dear?
00:16:23.41\00:16:25.06
Well,
00:16:25.09\00:16:26.48
I used to think sometimes
it was you. If you would
00:16:26.56\00:16:28.47
just get on the
right program with me
00:16:28.50\00:16:30.82
then I'd be, you know,
everything would be great!
00:16:31.17\00:16:33.30
Now I can encourage
you, right? And I can
00:16:33.33\00:16:37.20
be positive
encouragement for you.
00:16:37.88\00:16:39.66
That's right! And that's
the beauty of moving away from
00:16:39.70\00:16:43.37
the selfish "me focus",
which we've talked about
00:16:43.40\00:16:45.83
from time to
time on this program.
00:16:45.86\00:16:48.11
That focus always leads
me to how you affect me,
00:16:48.70\00:16:53.54
how everybody affects me.
00:16:54.70\00:16:56.13
And that never brings peace!
00:16:56.52\00:16:59.27
And so it's been
revolutionary to our marriage
00:16:59.64\00:17:02.97
to be able to recognize
that when I don't have peace,
00:17:03.25\00:17:07.47
when I don't feel
good in my self because of
00:17:07.50\00:17:10.64
something else that
someone else has done or
00:17:10.67\00:17:13.78
some sort circumstances
00:17:13.81\00:17:15.82
it's not going to
help to blame somebody else
00:17:16.45\00:17:18.80
or blame your
circumstances. It doesn't matter
00:17:18.83\00:17:21.11
who starts it! It doesn't
matter who's fault it is,
00:17:21.15\00:17:25.59
who said what,
none of those things
00:17:26.43\00:17:29.68
are going to restore the peace
00:17:29.71\00:17:32.30
and the blessing
into the marriage
00:17:33.08\00:17:36.46
until I'm willing
to deal with my self.
00:17:36.66\00:17:39.36
In that moment I
have a choice to make.
00:17:39.39\00:17:42.06
When you stepped on my toes or
00:17:42.43\00:17:43.87
as I perceived stepped on my
toes, I have a choice to decide
00:17:43.91\00:17:47.63
whether I'm gonna
follow my natural inclinations
00:17:47.84\00:17:50.19
respond to you in a similar
spirit as I perceive you to have
00:17:50.36\00:17:54.39
or if I'm going to
choose at that moment
00:17:54.80\00:17:58.07
to allow power that's
outside of me and that power
00:17:59.04\00:18:02.82
is Jesus
Christ, the Power of God
00:18:03.71\00:18:06.60
and the Salvation to
everyone it believes.
00:18:06.64\00:18:08.67
If I'm going to choose
my faith at that moment
00:18:08.70\00:18:11.36
to allow Him to
have those thoughts,
00:18:11.39\00:18:14.78
those emotions that want to come
00:18:14.81\00:18:18.17
and allow Him to change me.
00:18:18.20\00:18:20.40
That's that
transforming power right there.
00:18:20.44\00:18:23.28
And when that happens if
I had had the wrong spirit
00:18:23.96\00:18:28.49
the best way to have
me gain my peace back
00:18:28.62\00:18:31.64
is by you having that peace.
00:18:31.67\00:18:33.44
- That's right! -
And so, instead of
00:18:33.48\00:18:34.85
trying to say: "Honey,
you have a wrong attitude
00:18:34.89\00:18:37.97
toward me right now!"
you know, and it may be true!
00:18:38.00\00:18:41.01
But because of you allowing
Christ to give you that peace
00:18:41.05\00:18:45.95
that peace that
passes all understanding
00:18:46.30\00:18:48.40
it's an encouragement
to me to surrender my self
00:18:48.44\00:18:50.63
because I'm not
having that peace
00:18:50.66\00:18:52.50
and I want that peace back too.
00:18:52.54\00:18:54.31
And that's what helps us to
grow in a harmonious marriage.
00:18:54.35\00:18:57.52
And the thing I
find so encouraging
00:18:57.55\00:18:59.50
through this whole process,
because so often I said:
00:18:59.53\00:19:03.39
"I'm so weak I can't do this!
I'm just a failure as a human
00:19:03.42\00:19:08.96
being" you know, to allow the
00:19:09.14\00:19:11.11
Lord, you know:
"Why do I keep failing?"
00:19:11.50\00:19:14.20
But it says to the Apostle
Paul that "Christ strength
00:19:14.24\00:19:19.21
is made perfect in weakness"
and I've got a lot of weakness.
00:19:19.25\00:19:22.55
And when we believe that
Christ strength, the power
00:19:22.88\00:19:26.95
to change our responses,
to change our thoughts
00:19:26.98\00:19:31.02
to change the whole
direction that we're going
00:19:31.16\00:19:33.74
our emotions,
everything about us,
00:19:33.91\00:19:36.40
when we allow that strength
to find its home in our weakness
00:19:36.44\00:19:41.48
and it changes that,
that's very encouraging to me!
00:19:41.51\00:19:44.47
Amen!
00:19:44.50\00:19:45.47
One of mine favorite
verses too is Isaiah 26:3.
00:19:45.48\00:19:49.33
It says that, in a
different way, but it says:
00:19:49.55\00:19:51.64
"Thou wilt keep
him in perfect peace"
00:19:51.67\00:19:54.57
What kind of peace?
00:19:54.60\00:19:56.18
- Perfect! -
Perfect peace! That's right!
00:19:56.72\00:19:58.35
"Thou wilt keep him in
perfect peace, whose mind
00:19:58.69\00:20:01.96
is stayed on thee because"
00:20:01.99\00:20:04.25
Why? "because: he
trusteth in thee. "
00:20:04.46\00:20:09.11
Many times the Lord
brings this to my mind
00:20:09.45\00:20:11.73
when I am not at peace.
00:20:11.76\00:20:14.40
And when I'm wanting
to blame someone else
00:20:14.74\00:20:17.13
the Lord brings
this to my mind that He
00:20:17.49\00:20:20.05
is the only one that
can bring me back to peace
00:20:20.09\00:20:24.92
or keep me in perfect peace.
00:20:25.02\00:20:27.52
And the only way
that's gonna happen
00:20:27.56\00:20:29.39
is if my mind is
willing to be stayed on Him.
00:20:29.43\00:20:33.28
Which takes us
back to that verse
00:20:33.31\00:20:34.73
we talked about in Proverbs:
00:20:34.76\00:20:36.13
"as he thinketh in
his heart, so is he"
00:20:36.17\00:20:38.88
If we're willing to
be surrendered in that
00:20:38.91\00:20:41.55
moment of time and I know
you've heard us talk about this
00:20:41.59\00:20:45.30
in other programs.
This surrender is so vital
00:20:46.21\00:20:49.07
because it takes me, it takes
us to a power that's above us
00:20:49.11\00:20:53.84
and outside of us that
has a life changing power
00:20:53.87\00:20:57.78
in the moment to heal
us and bring that peace!
00:20:57.98\00:21:00.98
- It's a winning power! - Amen!
00:21:01.01\00:21:02.88
It's a winning power!
And you know, I found that
00:21:02.92\00:21:05.32
sometimes my
emotions, on the negative side
00:21:05.35\00:21:08.45
have been what's
helped me to recognize
00:21:08.49\00:21:11.56
that I don't have that peace!
00:21:11.59\00:21:13.35
You know, we wanna argue: "Oh
yes I'm at peace! I'm at peace!"
00:21:13.39\00:21:16.29
and you know, but
we're not really at peace!
00:21:16.32\00:21:18.66
And, you know, the
Lord uses sometimes
00:21:18.69\00:21:20.57
those negative feelings,
the emotions that are very real,
00:21:20.61\00:21:23.47
that we experience. I
call it the thing that comes up
00:21:23.50\00:21:26.54
from underneath,
you know it just kind of
00:21:26.57\00:21:28.30
overwhelms. At that
moment, sometimes is my first
00:21:28.43\00:21:32.77
recognition that I need
Christ because I'm not doing
00:21:32.80\00:21:37.74
very good right now. And
I've tried the blaming situation
00:21:37.77\00:21:41.19
and that doesn't
give me any more peace
00:21:41.22\00:21:43.58
it only destroys our peace more.
00:21:43.61\00:21:45.90
And it affects a
relationship in a negative way!
00:21:45.94\00:21:49.60
That's right! Does that
mean then that we can never
00:21:49.63\00:21:51.72
talk about where
the problem started?
00:21:51.75\00:21:54.54
Or who may be at
fault in the situation?
00:21:54.57\00:21:57.62
No! Not at all! We have to
be able to talk about that.
00:21:57.65\00:22:01.16
But it doesn't have to be
done from a selfish perspective!
00:22:01.19\00:22:04.69
That's right! Because that's
where the fatal cycle begins.
00:22:04.72\00:22:07.25
If we're trying to get
someone else to be our solution
00:22:07.37\00:22:11.10
instead of letting
Christ be our solution
00:22:11.41\00:22:14.15
and then come
back to one another
00:22:14.18\00:22:17.14
in His solution,
if we don't do that
00:22:17.17\00:22:20.10
we're never gonna find peace.
We're gonna find a fatal cycle
00:22:20.41\00:22:23.15
that often takes
too many marriages
00:22:23.41\00:22:25.41
in the wrong direction.
00:22:25.44\00:22:27.08
I remember
00:22:27.11\00:22:29.18
a story of a lady,
a very powerful story.
00:22:29.30\00:22:33.51
And I know you
remember the story very well.
00:22:34.17\00:22:36.88
This lady's husband,
they were Christians,
00:22:36.98\00:22:40.60
they had a Christian family,
00:22:40.81\00:22:43.20
but he became very
discouraged and his emotions
00:22:43.24\00:22:46.21
began to take him in a
direction that was not right!
00:22:46.25\00:22:49.93
And he began to leave
Christ. And eventually he
00:22:50.65\00:22:54.35
completely left everything
that he, you know, that
00:22:54.38\00:22:57.74
called important to him
in his Christian experience.
00:22:57.78\00:23:01.11
And he began to
separate from his wife and
00:23:01.14\00:23:03.70
and only be home, you
know, just very little.
00:23:03.73\00:23:07.65
And he separated
from his children.
00:23:07.68\00:23:09.98
And I remember how
this lady shared with us.
00:23:10.03\00:23:13.73
We were actually in their home
and she shared the bitterness
00:23:14.17\00:23:17.71
that started to well up inside
of her, and the hurt and the;
00:23:17.75\00:23:21.26
You remember the
emotions, and the anger:
00:23:21.45\00:23:23.42
"How can he do this to me?!"
00:23:23.45\00:23:26.28
That's a very hard
question to answer!
00:23:26.81\00:23:29.62
And she was
experiencing all these emotions
00:23:30.10\00:23:32.03
and it was
beginning to take her down and
00:23:32.06\00:23:33.92
her children were crying.
And she begin to recognize
00:23:33.96\00:23:37.59
by the Grace of God,
as the Spirit of Christ
00:23:37.62\00:23:40.09
was calling to her, the Holly
Spirit was calling to her heart
00:23:40.13\00:23:42.44
and she began to recognize
00:23:42.47\00:23:44.36
that "I'm allowing my
husband's turning from the Lord
00:23:44.77\00:23:49.32
to destroy me! I'm
allowing to destroy my children!
00:23:49.36\00:23:53.88
I'm allowing this to do more
damage than he's already done!"
00:23:54.03\00:23:58.07
And so, as you recall
00:23:58.58\00:24:00.76
she made a commitment,
00:24:00.80\00:24:02.91
a powerful
commitment to God, on her knees
00:24:02.95\00:24:06.19
and with her children
00:24:06.40\00:24:08.19
that she would do
all that she could do
00:24:08.23\00:24:10.96
to love her husband as he
was. She would not compromise
00:24:11.45\00:24:14.67
principle, she would not
enter into some of the sin
00:24:14.71\00:24:17.90
that he had gone
back into. But she said:
00:24:17.93\00:24:20.26
" By God's Grace I am
going to make this home
00:24:20.29\00:24:23.53
a little taste
of Heaven! Because
00:24:23.56\00:24:25.91
if my husband continues
in the way that he's going he
00:24:26.27\00:24:28.54
will have no
Heaven to look forward to!
00:24:28.57\00:24:31.02
And I want to make this
life a little bit like Heaven! "
00:24:31.06\00:24:34.55
What a powerful testimony
00:24:34.92\00:24:36.62
of what happened of the
next few month as that man began
00:24:36.89\00:24:41.16
to respond to the love
that he saw in his wife!
00:24:41.19\00:24:44.09
And he himself told us
00:24:44.36\00:24:46.37
that it was the love of his wife
00:24:46.41\00:24:48.86
giving him a reflection, a
taste of Jesus and a taste of
00:24:48.90\00:24:52.75
what Heaven is really
like when she should have been
00:24:52.79\00:24:56.61
angry and bitter against him!
00:24:56.64\00:24:59.26
That actually began to win
his heart back to his family
00:24:59.42\00:25:04.53
and he returned to the Lord!
00:25:04.56\00:25:06.01
So what an opportunity we have
00:25:06.47\00:25:09.56
maybe again, not in that
kind of a devastating situation
00:25:09.93\00:25:13.75
but in our day to day
interactions and communication.
00:25:13.92\00:25:18.31
Rather than responding
the way self wants to respond,
00:25:18.70\00:25:21.96
rather than to wanna get even
or to get into the same spirit
00:25:22.00\00:25:25.53
that somebody
else is having we can
00:25:25.56\00:25:28.68
allow Christ to
make the difference in us
00:25:28.72\00:25:32.66
and give that person,
00:25:32.69\00:25:34.61
give our wife, our husband
a little taste of Heaven!
00:25:35.00\00:25:39.21
You know, sometimes honey,
it's not just circumstances
00:25:40.04\00:25:42.74
in a marriage or
words that are spoken,
00:25:42.77\00:25:45.35
our misunderstandings that cause
00:25:45.63\00:25:48.20
the stress or
cause the disharmony
00:25:48.23\00:25:50.52
or cause emotions
to come; sometimes
00:25:50.56\00:25:52.82
there are physical
issues! - That's right!
00:25:52.94\00:25:54.57
And I know you
remember all too well
00:25:54.60\00:25:57.71
a number of years
ago when I had a surgery
00:25:57.75\00:25:59.84
and I lost all
of my female organs
00:25:59.87\00:26:01.97
that my whole
emotional - That's right!
00:26:02.00\00:26:04.18
status just
went totally haywire!
00:26:04.21\00:26:08.06
My emotions were uncontrollable!
I felt so discouraged
00:26:08.40\00:26:12.55
and low and even
depressed at times.
00:26:12.58\00:26:16.35
And I recognized
those emotions were
00:26:16.67\00:26:19.92
going to destroy
me and they would have
00:26:19.96\00:26:23.14
a destroying effect on my
family! And I didn't want them
00:26:23.18\00:26:25.99
but it was a physical response
that I was experiencing.
00:26:26.34\00:26:29.64
And even with that I
found God's Grace is sufficient!
00:26:30.00\00:26:34.21
Because when I recognized
those dark days of depression
00:26:34.24\00:26:38.42
I made choices, not
because I felt like it!
00:26:38.78\00:26:41.43
But because I believed
God and I believed His Word!
00:26:41.55\00:26:45.14
- Amen! - And I
had to make a choice
00:26:45.17\00:26:46.62
of faith, which
everyone of these
00:26:46.66\00:26:48.12
is going to be
a choice of faith.
00:26:48.16\00:26:49.59
And when I made those choices
of faith one by one by one
00:26:49.73\00:26:52.93
pretty soon the day started
to get a little brighter.
00:26:53.23\00:26:55.29
And the Lord helped
me for a number of years
00:26:55.32\00:26:57.80
until those hormone issues
got solved to resolve that.
00:26:57.84\00:27:01.46
And I wasn't taken down by that.
00:27:01.49\00:27:03.85
So there are
other issues out there!
00:27:03.89\00:27:06.18
They can affect our emotions
but whatever they may be
00:27:06.22\00:27:09.75
God's Grace is
sufficient! - Amen!
00:27:09.78\00:27:11.91
And I think it would
be good right now as we
00:27:11.95\00:27:13.99
come to the close of this
session just to ask God's Grace
00:27:14.03\00:27:16.92
for our viewing audience.
00:27:16.95\00:27:19.07
Father in Heaven we
know Your Grace is sufficient
00:27:19.11\00:27:21.14
You know the issues
that people are facing,
00:27:21.17\00:27:23.03
the anger issues, the hurt
00:27:23.43\00:27:25.22
the various emotions, and we
ask Lord for Your Holy Spirit
00:27:25.26\00:27:28.57
to work now! In Jesus name Amen!
00:27:28.60\00:27:31.32
Well, next time we get together
00:27:32.91\00:27:34.45
we're gonna be talking about
when counseling is necessary.
00:27:34.49\00:27:37.67
Maybe there's issues that
can't seem to get resolved
00:27:37.70\00:27:40.93
in the marriage. When
counseling is necessary
00:27:40.96\00:27:43.17
next time we get together!
00:27:43.56\00:27:46.23