A promise
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to love
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in good times
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and bad
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for richer
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or poorer
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forsaking all others
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as long as
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you both shall live
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MARRIAGE In God's Hands
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Marriage Heart to
Heart with Tom & Alane Waters
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Welcome to
Marriage Heart to Heart!
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We're Tom & Alane Waters
with Restoration International
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And we're looking
forward to today's talk!
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We think it will make a
difference in your marriage!
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Today we're
gonna be talking about
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money matters.
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And it does matter in
every one of our marriages!
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And so, we hope that you
have a paper and a pencil
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because we're gonna
be talking about three
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very
fundamental principles about
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managing our money today.
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You know, one of the top
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conflict issues in marriage
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is over money.
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It's one of the major causes
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of the breakdown of the
marriages that we have today.
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And one of the
reasons is because
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there's so much pressure today
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to make money!
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Because many of
the life styles today
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are working at such a high level
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that there's pressure that
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everybody needs
to be making money
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to make it!
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So money does matter!
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But how are we handling
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what's important
in the use of money,
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what are we
doing in our marriages,
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are we really communicating?
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And we're gonna be talking
about those 3 things today
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that will make the difference
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in whether money
becomes a huge stress
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that finances are a
stress in our marriage,
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or that money becomes a blessing
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in the hands of a happy home.
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and a happy God!
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You know, when
we're in the "me focus"
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and I want what I want and
you wanna do what you wanna do
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and how we spend the money
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we have
conflicts! - That's right!
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And this is an
area that I can say
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really wasn't that much of a
struggle for us! And I'm glad!
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Because we had enough
other ones at the beginning
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to start out with!
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But,
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this idea of just
being so self focused,
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and we have seen so many couples
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destroy their marriages
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because she's gonna
get what she's wants to get
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and it's her money
and she's gonna run it
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the way she wants to do it
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and he's determined this way
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and you just see
it separating them
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And it causes hard feelings and
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those walls of
separations are build up
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and they destroy themselves over
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things!
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Because it's all related
to things what money buys!
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- That's right! -
In fact a life style
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that we see lived all around us
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and we were caught
up in it for a while,
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it forces us, it drives
us, maybe is a better word
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we choose to do it
but it's a driving force
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that gets dad out there
working sometimes two jobs
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or overtime,
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or mother out of
the home working a job
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they're both working
out to make ends meet,
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to try to
maintain this life style!
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And that life
style is destroying
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the very fabric of
their home and marriage.
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It's all
backwards. - That's right!
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I told you, I'd rather
have a lot less to live on
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and have more time with you
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than to have more
money and none of you!
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Well, I remember when we
were making our transition
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from the suburbs of Chicago
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to Montana, in the
mountains there, that
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you made a statement
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and we've talked
about this in several times.
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You said that
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you would rather live in a tent
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and have more of me
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than to have a
fancy home and have me
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me driven to be
gone all the time!
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And I meant it!
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Because I was excited
about the changes that
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that we had agreed on
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that we wanted to do for
our marriage and for our family
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because God really
was important to us
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and our family
was really important!
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And we really
did love each other
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and we wanted to have more time
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to enjoy each other
instead of just being out there
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in the world - That's right!
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doing so many other things.
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And loan behold as
we've followed the principles
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that God has
shown us in His Word
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we didn't have to
live in a tent either.
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No, we didn't!
But I was willing!
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And you know, those words
were said with a willing spirit!
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God never - I knew that!
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- We never had to,
but I was willing to!
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But we do love a much
simpler and happier life now!
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And our is smaller that the
one we used to live in as well!
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And you know,
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I don't know if you
heard this but we were visiting
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with a family not long ago,
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and they live in a
very beautiful home,
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a very big beautiful home!
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And he made a comment to me
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he said:
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"You are a very rich men!"
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He said: "Because I can see
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the happiness that
you have in your marriage,
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I can see the
happiness in your children
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they love you,
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they honor and
respect you as parents. "
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And I do feel like a rich men!
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I feel very
thankful for those things
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because you can't put
a price on those things.
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And we know some
very wealthy people
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who are driven by money!
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And the world would
call them rich people
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or rich men
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but they are not
rich in the things
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that really bring true
happiness and peace in life.
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So, we wanna talk about
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three areas today and
the first area that became
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important to us
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as we wanted to
really experience
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the right kind
of money management
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was putting God first!
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And now, I know
this sounds very simple
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but you think for a moment
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if you're really
putting God first.
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There are a lot of
professing Christians today
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who say they are Christians
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and who say
that they're putting,
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well maybe they don't say
they're putting God first but,
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are you really putting God first
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in the area of your
financial management?
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Malachi 3
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the tenth verse says:
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"Bring ye all the
tithes into the storehouse,
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and prove me herewith"
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Here's God saying: "prove me"!
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"saith the LORD,
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if I will not open
you the windows of heaven,
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and pour you out a
blessing, that you will not have
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room enough
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to receive. "
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That is quite a command
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and a promise.
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God's asking us for
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ten percent
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of what He has
blessed us with financially
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to give back to Him
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to continue to sustain the work
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that He has going
on, on this Earth.
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Now, God really
doesn't need our money!
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He owns everything,
including our money.
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He gives us the
power to get wealth
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but God is giving us the
opportunity to be His stewards
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to give back,
because what God knows
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and what we have
learned in our marriage
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is that it is truly blessed
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and more blessed to
give than to receive
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because we have
found that you cannot
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out give God!
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So God wants us to give back, He
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gives us a command
and He gives us a promise.
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The command is that
we would return to Him
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as stewards ten percent
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and then
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that He will
give to us blessings
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that we don't have
room enough to receive!
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- That's right! - So, does that
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if we give our tithe
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and are offering to
the Lord, to His work
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does that mean that
we're gonna get rich
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financially?
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No! That's not what it says! But
all of our needs will be met!
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- That's right! -
And that's a promise!
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And there is no question
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that God has met
all of our needs!
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And there's no question
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that He has
blessed us way beyond
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what we could ever have dreamed
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in our own marriage and family!
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And I'm glad we
made that commitment,
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when we were first married,
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that God would be
first with our finances.
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We really wanted God first
in our lives and in our marriage
00:08:08.81\00:08:11.86
and that's what we
said and that's what we
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thought we had started
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but we didn't recognize
the two big "ME"'s we each had.
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And we didn't know
how to become one big "US"
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under God!
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But God takes us where we are
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and I think
that's the beauty of it!
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God takes us where we are!
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- That's right! -
And then He leads us
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step by step!
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And so, if you haven't
understood this principle before
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in financing, about
one tenth belonging to God
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and then to give it back to God,
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we wanna encourage you,
not to be intimidated by,
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not to say: "Well I don't
have enough money to do that!"
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But to take God at
His Word and prove Him!
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That's what He says: "prove Me!
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And I will bless!"
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And so, that's the experience
that we have found in our home
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we made that commitment
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and when we got paid
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the first thing we would do
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is pay that tithe check.
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And that was really a
00:08:57.87\00:08:59.75
a blessing for us and our home!
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Yes! And it's really
00:09:01.70\00:09:03.11
it's a faith step
00:09:03.54\00:09:05.56
in many cases
00:09:05.73\00:09:07.09
it's a step of faith
00:09:07.13\00:09:08.96
that we believe that
God will take care of us!
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Does that mean then
00:09:11.48\00:09:12.79
for the person out
there that may not be
00:09:13.15\00:09:16.25
accustomed to
this tithing principle,
00:09:16.67\00:09:18.64
maybe they've
never studied it before,
00:09:18.67\00:09:20.61
does that mean then
00:09:21.28\00:09:22.69
that if we look at our pay check
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and we don't think
00:09:26.81\00:09:28.98
the way it all ends
up at the bottom line
00:09:29.02\00:09:31.03
that we're gonna have
enough to pay our bills
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and pay our tithe
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do we still
wanna take that tithe
00:09:34.68\00:09:36.39
out at the
beginning for the Lord?
00:09:36.42\00:09:38.10
That's been our choice! Because
if it doesn't come out the first
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it doesn't come out at all!
00:09:42.70\00:09:43.98
It's the same way
in our spiritual walk
00:09:44.02\00:09:46.13
if we don't take time for God
00:09:46.16\00:09:47.69
first, we tend not to
have time for God at all!
00:09:47.98\00:09:50.82
- That's right! -
If you and I don't take
00:09:50.85\00:09:51.96
time for each other first
00:09:51.99\00:09:53.43
we tend not to have time,
or very little time, at all.
00:09:53.47\00:09:56.98
So, it has to be a priority!
00:09:57.28\00:09:58.77
Just like everything
else in our marriage!
00:09:58.81\00:10:00.58
And it really is
a faith decision!
00:10:00.81\00:10:03.27
If God is calling to us to
00:10:03.89\00:10:06.89
give back
00:10:07.87\00:10:09.38
ten percent of the first fruits,
00:10:09.98\00:10:12.17
ten percent of the first
when we get the pay check
00:10:12.21\00:10:15.09
if God is asking us to do that
00:10:15.68\00:10:17.54
and He's also then
giving us the promise
00:10:18.28\00:10:21.69
of what He will do to
open the windows of Heaven,
00:10:21.73\00:10:23.90
it is safe for us! And it
has always been safe for us
00:10:24.14\00:10:27.54
to trust God enough
to give to Him first!
00:10:28.01\00:10:30.82
And He will
always take care of us!
00:10:31.13\00:10:34.02
And I think that's been a
blessing that we've seen that
00:10:35.20\00:10:37.90
demonstrated in the
homes we've come from,
00:10:38.22\00:10:40.23
from our own
parents! - That's right!
00:10:40.26\00:10:41.69
Because we have gown up in homes
00:10:41.72\00:10:43.59
where both of our families,
our parents practiced this
00:10:43.85\00:10:46.89
and they were committed to it!
00:10:47.23\00:10:48.73
And we know, having
been raised in those homes,
00:10:49.03\00:10:51.91
the blessings it has been!
00:10:51.94\00:10:53.34
Oh, it's incredible, some of
the stories that we could tell
00:10:53.64\00:10:56.31
of the, at least I
know in my family where
00:10:56.92\00:11:00.15
there wasn't
going to be enough money
00:11:00.92\00:11:03.08
in some situations
as I was growing up.
00:11:03.39\00:11:06.36
And God always
provided! And I saw it!
00:11:07.47\00:11:10.22
The other thing
that I saw in that was
00:11:10.54\00:11:12.40
that I saw my
parents regardless of
00:11:12.68\00:11:14.88
the difficult
circumstances, because my dad
00:11:14.92\00:11:17.40
as you know went
through some major surgeries and
00:11:17.59\00:11:19.71
the insurance
didn't cover everything
00:11:19.74\00:11:21.53
but my dad and mother always
00:11:22.12\00:11:24.48
always set aside
their tithe first!
00:11:25.42\00:11:27.70
Even though
00:11:27.73\00:11:29.27
there were times that
there was no possible way
00:11:29.39\00:11:32.46
and it was amazing to see
how God would come through
00:11:32.89\00:11:35.30
every time
00:11:35.33\00:11:36.46
to honor that faith!
00:11:36.83\00:11:37.86
That's right!
00:11:38.18\00:11:39.15
And so, the first
thing we agreed on
00:11:39.16\00:11:41.55
was that we would put God first
00:11:41.58\00:11:42.89
in the use of our
money - That's right!
00:11:42.93\00:11:44.08
and how when we will
receive what He, the blessings
00:11:44.12\00:11:46.77
He gave us, that we
would give back to Him
00:11:46.80\00:11:48.51
what was rightfully His.
00:11:48.54\00:11:49.56
- Yes! - And then we made
00:11:49.59\00:11:50.56
another
agreement in our marriage!
00:11:50.58\00:11:52.13
That's right!
00:11:52.79\00:11:53.76
We made the agreement that
00:11:53.92\00:11:55.56
we would always be
in unit and in harmony
00:11:55.96\00:11:59.98
for how we spend our money.
00:12:00.60\00:12:02.11
Now, some people say: "Well,"
00:12:03.20\00:12:04.34
you know, "Here
you have your money!"
00:12:04.84\00:12:06.23
and when we got married
00:12:06.26\00:12:07.51
you were working, you were
nurse recruiter at the hospital
00:12:07.81\00:12:10.42
you were making good money,
00:12:10.45\00:12:11.87
and I was a program director and
00:12:11.91\00:12:14.09
we had our own incomes.
00:12:14.40\00:12:16.09
We could have very easily
00:12:16.42\00:12:17.93
done that. - His and hers?
00:12:18.98\00:12:20.36
Yes! You keep your
money and I'll keep mine and
00:12:20.40\00:12:23.87
I go on spending
mine the way I want to and
00:12:24.18\00:12:26.24
you spend the money
the way you want to.
00:12:26.53\00:12:28.28
But we agreed
00:12:28.49\00:12:30.19
after we agreed
to put God first,
00:12:30.53\00:12:32.26
we agreed
00:12:32.29\00:12:33.55
that we would come into harmony
00:12:33.59\00:12:35.62
on how would spend our money.
00:12:35.66\00:12:37.66
That's really what it
talks about in Amos 3:3.
00:12:37.86\00:12:40.44
It says: "Can two walk together,
00:12:41.13\00:12:43.20
except they be agreed?"
00:12:43.23\00:12:45.63
It's a good question, isn't it?
00:12:47.04\00:12:48.57
- It is! - And we wanted to be
00:12:48.60\00:12:50.10
agreed on how we used our money!
00:12:50.13\00:12:52.96
And God has really
blessed us in that!
00:12:53.37\00:12:55.70
And it's brought so
much happiness and peace
00:12:56.37\00:12:58.41
and contentment because
we're not having a fight or
00:12:58.45\00:13:00.55
argue over - That's right!
00:13:00.58\00:13:02.02
I want this and you want that
00:13:02.06\00:13:03.43
and I wanna go here and
you don't want me to go there
00:13:03.47\00:13:05.20
and how that
money is to be used and
00:13:05.23\00:13:07.31
it's said when you
see how many couples
00:13:07.46\00:13:11.14
really struggle in this area.
00:13:11.46\00:13:12.70
And if they could
just be willing to say:
00:13:13.03\00:13:15.22
"I will accept this principle
00:13:15.25\00:13:17.79
that God has in
His Word from Amos 3!
00:13:17.88\00:13:19.98
We will accept that!"
00:13:20.28\00:13:21.37
and look at the
unity and harmony
00:13:21.41\00:13:22.90
that they can
have in their home.
00:13:22.94\00:13:24.40
Because now we
can be in agreement
00:13:24.55\00:13:26.48
and when we have agreement
then it's easy to begin our
00:13:26.52\00:13:29.38
course together!
00:13:29.41\00:13:30.87
That's right! The difficulty
00:13:30.91\00:13:32.47
is that big "ME" again!
00:13:32.82\00:13:34.11
And we've talked about that
00:13:34.84\00:13:36.22
that "me focus"
00:13:36.93\00:13:38.31
many times because
00:13:39.14\00:13:40.81
we find that whenever there's a
00:13:41.12\00:13:43.40
a problem that
seems to be insurmountable
00:13:43.74\00:13:46.23
when there seems to be a
difficulty we can't get passed
00:13:46.53\00:13:49.50
it's usually because one of
the other of us or both of us
00:13:49.54\00:13:52.48
is slipping back
into a "me focus"!
00:13:53.11\00:13:55.08
We have never faced anything
00:13:55.20\00:13:58.00
and that's beautiful
to be able to say never
00:13:58.47\00:14:00.50
when we have
made this commitment
00:14:01.14\00:14:02.95
we've never found anything
00:14:02.98\00:14:04.32
that God hasn't
been able to resolve
00:14:04.74\00:14:06.83
if we were willing to
come into agreement with God
00:14:07.14\00:14:09.83
and with each other!
00:14:10.14\00:14:11.36
So as long as the
"ME" is in control
00:14:12.51\00:14:15.02
then the money is
spent for what I want
00:14:15.05\00:14:17.53
and the bills
start - That's right!
00:14:17.90\00:14:19.08
adding up.
00:14:19.11\00:14:20.14
And then the
stress starts coming.
00:14:20.18\00:14:21.94
And then the walls start coming
up and division takes place.
00:14:21.98\00:14:25.28
And heart ache and maybe even,
well we know families they,
00:14:25.46\00:14:29.01
their marriages have
dissolved over financial issues.
00:14:29.04\00:14:32.23
That's right!
00:14:32.26\00:14:33.23
So it has been a
blessing to be able to agree
00:14:33.45\00:14:36.04
from the little
things to the big things,
00:14:36.07\00:14:38.17
especially in this
area. Because we know
00:14:38.21\00:14:39.86
that it's an area
that - That's right!
00:14:39.89\00:14:41.51
can be very deadly!
00:14:41.54\00:14:43.26
To move from the "me focus"
00:14:43.29\00:14:46.01
to the "us focus".
00:14:46.34\00:14:47.43
That's a fact that our
00:14:48.18\00:14:50.08
communication
and the little things
00:14:50.79\00:14:53.46
it's talked about how
we agreed on our bills
00:14:53.76\00:14:56.60
and how we
would look at debt and
00:14:56.63\00:14:58.89
all these kinds of things
00:14:59.28\00:15:00.86
that were very important
00:15:01.17\00:15:02.29
and many people are
refusing to look at.
00:15:02.51\00:15:04.71
I remember one
family that we talked with
00:15:06.37\00:15:08.66
and the wife had no idea
00:15:09.01\00:15:11.30
that the husband had
taken a second mortgage
00:15:11.34\00:15:13.39
out on the home.
00:15:13.42\00:15:14.39
I mean that's a
huge sum of money
00:15:14.40\00:15:16.35
against the property.
00:15:16.38\00:15:18.17
And it was until, I
don't know months, maybe years
00:15:18.32\00:15:21.62
later she found this out
00:15:21.65\00:15:23.13
that he had wanted to invest it.
00:15:23.75\00:15:25.68
- That's right! - To
try make a little more!
00:15:26.62\00:15:28.30
And - He didn't want
00:15:29.20\00:15:30.20
to tell her bout it.
00:15:30.24\00:15:31.21
He didn't want to
tell her about it!
00:15:31.22\00:15:32.39
And that's where we
don't have that honesty
00:15:32.67\00:15:34.99
then in the
marriage. - That's right!
00:15:35.02\00:15:35.99
We need that honesty
and we need to be agreed
00:15:36.00\00:15:38.45
so that we can alleviate,
00:15:38.48\00:15:40.41
dissipate problems. We
can keep problems from ever
00:15:40.57\00:15:43.70
being problems if
we're willing to do this
00:15:43.73\00:15:46.10
and cooperate
with this principle.
00:15:46.13\00:15:47.88
And I know that each of our
listeners, our viewing audience
00:15:49.12\00:15:52.52
can benefit
from these principles
00:15:52.55\00:15:54.27
that we've been discussing, too!
00:15:54.30\00:15:55.99
But we need to
take a break right now!
00:15:56.60\00:15:58.06
we hope you'll stay with us
00:15:58.37\00:15:59.64
as we go to our third principle
00:15:59.99\00:16:01.76
when we'll return!
00:16:01.79\00:16:03.26
There are many "How
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00:16:16.28\00:16:18.34
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00:16:18.38\00:16:20.81
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00:16:21.12\00:16:22.42
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00:16:32.69\00:16:34.26
Welcome back! As
we're talking about
00:16:40.80\00:16:42.77
the three principles
00:16:42.80\00:16:44.43
in money matters
that are foundational
00:16:44.79\00:16:47.42
to having a marriage
that's heart to heart
00:16:47.61\00:16:49.65
in our areas of finance.
00:16:49.68\00:16:51.39
The third area
that we wanna talk about
00:16:51.83\00:16:53.80
is: "Owe no man any thing"
00:16:54.40\00:16:57.26
Now that's not my concept!
00:16:57.29\00:17:00.12
That's taken
from Romans the 13'th
00:17:00.59\00:17:02.99
chapter in the eight verse:
00:17:03.89\00:17:05.42
"Owe no man any thing,"
00:17:05.78\00:17:08.09
now that's a pretty
tough statement, isn't it?
00:17:08.76\00:17:10.83
So what do we do with that?
00:17:11.76\00:17:13.11
Well it's pretty
difficult in this day and age
00:17:13.15\00:17:16.22
to not owe anybody anything
00:17:16.25\00:17:17.74
especially if
you're buying a house.
00:17:17.78\00:17:19.20
So,
00:17:20.30\00:17:21.27
what we wanna talk about
is how we can minimize that.
00:17:21.43\00:17:24.63
How we can do
the best that we can
00:17:25.20\00:17:27.73
with our finances and be agreed.
00:17:27.76\00:17:30.26
We knew two families
that happened to be buying
00:17:31.39\00:17:34.58
property. And this
was several years ago.
00:17:34.61\00:17:36.49
They both ended up
with a fifty thousand dollar
00:17:36.80\00:17:40.30
mortgage.
00:17:40.33\00:17:41.41
So, obviously
00:17:42.14\00:17:43.62
they both owed
fifty thousand dollars.
00:17:43.82\00:17:46.92
The difference here is that
00:17:47.80\00:17:49.65
one couple decided
that they were going to do
00:17:49.99\00:17:52.75
everything that they could.
00:17:53.01\00:17:54.39
They were going to
bend all of their efforts
00:17:54.43\00:17:57.35
to get this
mortgage taking care of
00:17:57.66\00:17:59.84
so that they would
owe no man anything.
00:17:59.87\00:18:02.02
The other couple
on the other hand had
00:18:02.90\00:18:04.68
what I would call a
more modern philosophy.
00:18:04.72\00:18:08.04
And that is that
the more money that
00:18:08.49\00:18:10.04
we can leverage, the
more money we can invest and.
00:18:10.08\00:18:13.13
And so, the other
couple decided that they would
00:18:13.71\00:18:16.02
make some
investments somewhere else
00:18:16.35\00:18:18.46
and they would just continue
to make they basic payment.
00:18:19.16\00:18:22.41
That first couple making
double principle payments
00:18:23.06\00:18:26.59
sometimes and putting as
much extra on those payments
00:18:26.62\00:18:30.12
as they could, when
they came to nine years
00:18:30.15\00:18:33.46
into that mortgage, on
a thirty year mortgage,
00:18:33.49\00:18:36.77
at nine years
00:18:37.40\00:18:38.69
they were completely
clear with that debt.
00:18:38.73\00:18:41.38
Now, that's pretty
impressive, isn't it?
00:18:41.56\00:18:43.37
Very impressive!
That means they put
00:18:43.40\00:18:45.18
their heart into
this commitment they made!
00:18:45.50\00:18:47.77
It was a serious commitment
00:18:47.80\00:18:49.42
that they wanted to
owe no man anything!
00:18:49.72\00:18:52.15
The other couple
00:18:52.18\00:18:53.50
who had decided to go
the different direction
00:18:54.06\00:18:56.87
in their philosophy
00:18:56.90\00:18:58.02
when they came up on nine years
00:18:58.34\00:19:00.19
they owed nearly
the same amount of money
00:19:00.23\00:19:03.62
on their mortgage.
00:19:03.65\00:19:05.02
And they ended up getting
in some financial difficulties
00:19:05.62\00:19:09.45
that caused them a
tremendous amount of stress.
00:19:09.48\00:19:13.50
And they wished that
they had don what the other
00:19:14.11\00:19:17.93
couple had done.
00:19:17.96\00:19:19.03
So,
00:19:19.34\00:19:20.44
when we're talking about:
"owe no man any thing" here
00:19:20.74\00:19:22.93
it's not that we can just
00:19:23.38\00:19:25.74
eliminate
instantly a mortgage debt
00:19:26.15\00:19:28.31
but we made a
decision and a commitment
00:19:28.34\00:19:30.47
that we were going
to do all that we could
00:19:30.50\00:19:32.48
to eliminate debt
as quickly as possible!
00:19:33.35\00:19:35.77
And that has been a tremendous
00:19:35.80\00:19:37.30
encouragement and
blessing in our marriage.
00:19:37.45\00:19:39.28
It has! It's given us
financial freedom for years
00:19:39.92\00:19:42.43
Because we made that commitment.
00:19:42.60\00:19:44.03
And even when we moved from
the suburban setting of Chicago
00:19:44.07\00:19:47.38
to the country,
when we built our home
00:19:47.41\00:19:49.19
we were looking for
every way that we could
00:19:49.23\00:19:51.57
to stay out of debt.
00:19:51.60\00:19:52.57
That's right! -
And by God's Grace
00:19:52.58\00:19:54.46
we were able to
stay out of debt with
00:19:54.49\00:19:56.39
the entrust or the profit
00:19:56.42\00:19:57.46
that we had made
from our previous home.
00:19:57.50\00:19:59.13
We just almost unheard of.
00:19:59.49\00:20:00.95
But we also, in
order to do that we
00:20:00.99\00:20:03.15
went to second hand stores,
remember when we picked out
00:20:03.19\00:20:05.75
a toilet from a
second hand store?
00:20:05.78\00:20:07.62
And a sink from a
second hand store?
00:20:07.66\00:20:09.47
And, you know, those things
are still in the house today!
00:20:10.03\00:20:12.72
- That's right! - And nobody
00:20:12.75\00:20:13.89
ever knows the
difference! I mean
00:20:13.93\00:20:15.16
they work!
00:20:15.19\00:20:16.16
Nobody knew they
were second hand!
00:20:16.17\00:20:17.14
That's right! They're the same
color, they're the same style
00:20:17.15\00:20:19.40
as everybody else's
and they do the same thing.
00:20:19.43\00:20:21.56
So, we looked for
ways to stay out of debt.
00:20:22.15\00:20:25.16
- Yes! - And we
received the blessing
00:20:25.19\00:20:27.29
from that. Because what it did
00:20:27.58\00:20:29.29
is it didn't put the
pressure on you to have to
00:20:29.42\00:20:32.39
make so much money! Especially
in your professional change.
00:20:32.43\00:20:35.73
You know, from being a
radiology to going into
00:20:36.19\00:20:39.70
selling rural properties.
00:20:40.47\00:20:41.87
- Quite a
change! - Quite a change!
00:20:42.05\00:20:43.48
No longer the regular
pay check every two weeks!
00:20:43.79\00:20:46.10
Now we were
getting commission only!
00:20:46.13\00:20:48.03
That was a huge
step, but I knew that
00:20:48.19\00:20:50.70
I had confidence in
you to lead in that.
00:20:50.73\00:20:52.85
And I saw that by
cooperating and working together
00:20:52.89\00:20:55.90
rather than
working against each other
00:20:55.93\00:20:58.67
we've found
harmony, even through those
00:20:58.91\00:21:01.79
some of those
financially difficult times.
00:21:01.82\00:21:04.67
That's right!
00:21:04.70\00:21:05.67
And we really
wanna encourage you
00:21:05.80\00:21:07.69
that you bend
all of your energies
00:21:08.76\00:21:11.63
not towards the
modern philosophy today but
00:21:11.95\00:21:14.49
bend your energies towards
paying off that mortgage.
00:21:15.42\00:21:17.62
And there is a
difference between mortgage debt
00:21:17.65\00:21:20.47
and what we
would call regular debt
00:21:20.88\00:21:23.73
or that some people
would call frivolous debt.
00:21:23.77\00:21:26.05
When we take a
mortgage obviously the people
00:21:26.66\00:21:29.32
that are on the other
end of the transaction
00:21:29.35\00:21:31.98
have something. And in
today's real estate market
00:21:32.23\00:21:35.02
in most areas
00:21:35.05\00:21:36.39
that home is appreciating
00:21:36.43\00:21:38.70
in most cases.
00:21:38.73\00:21:39.91
So, if we
default on that mortgage
00:21:39.95\00:21:42.26
then they're
gonna get the house back
00:21:42.89\00:21:45.11
and they're
gonna get it back from
00:21:45.15\00:21:47.34
probably more than
it was worth when we
00:21:47.37\00:21:49.64
first started in
that mortgage transaction.
00:21:49.68\00:21:51.94
So there's a
different pressure there
00:21:52.28\00:21:54.48
that's not to
encourage mortgage debt
00:21:54.63\00:21:56.50
but it is a different kind
of debt than when you go out
00:21:56.54\00:22:00.27
and buy a new furniture, a
new car every year, a whatever,
00:22:00.31\00:22:04.01
and you put that on a
credit card or you start
00:22:04.04\00:22:07.29
piling up the bank loans
00:22:07.60\00:22:09.14
at a higher interest rate
00:22:09.29\00:22:10.66
because if you take
that car back six month later
00:22:10.70\00:22:13.22
they're not gonna give you
00:22:13.25\00:22:14.70
an appreciated value,
00:22:14.85\00:22:16.00
they're gonna give
you a depreciated value.
00:22:16.04\00:22:18.22
And so there is
a difference here
00:22:18.61\00:22:20.33
most of us can't
go out and buy a home
00:22:20.65\00:22:23.44
and pay cash for it
00:22:23.62\00:22:25.01
but we just wanna encourage you
00:22:25.11\00:22:26.48
to begin working earnestly
00:22:26.85\00:22:29.72
and honestly to remove that debt
00:22:30.12\00:22:32.65
to lower it as
quickly as possible.
00:22:32.68\00:22:35.18
It's interesting
00:22:35.63\00:22:36.60
Ben Franklin,
we're talking about a man
00:22:37.22\00:22:39.25
who lived a long time ago
00:22:39.28\00:22:41.52
but listen to what he says:
00:22:42.33\00:22:43.59
"When you run in debt
00:22:44.49\00:22:46.48
you give another
Power over your liberty!"
00:22:46.96\00:22:50.56
How do you like that feeling?
00:22:51.02\00:22:52.65
The idea that
when you're in debt
00:22:52.82\00:22:54.81
you give someone
power over your liberty?
00:22:55.09\00:22:58.31
It's not a very nice feeling!
00:22:58.47\00:22:59.68
And Ellen White
said it this way,
00:23:00.45\00:23:02.39
she said: avoid debt
00:23:02.67\00:23:04.33
as you would avoid the smallpox"
00:23:04.88\00:23:07.68
I want you to think at
this picture for a moment.
00:23:08.46\00:23:10.34
Can you imagine
00:23:10.95\00:23:12.17
you get another hankering for
00:23:12.23\00:23:15.13
a new bedroom set.
00:23:15.48\00:23:17.15
The one you have is fine, but
00:23:17.35\00:23:18.90
you know, styles are changing.
00:23:18.94\00:23:20.42
You've have it for
another ten o twelve years
00:23:20.46\00:23:22.35
it's time to update
right? - So, yes! Let's go
00:23:22.39\00:23:24.23
out and get another
one! Well you get in there
00:23:24.27\00:23:26.08
and you see the perfect
one that you really like
00:23:26.90\00:23:29.84
and as you're considering
the debt that you will accrue,
00:23:31.00\00:23:33.92
because you don't
have the money for it,
00:23:34.06\00:23:35.92
and so, you're gonna
put it on a credit card.
00:23:36.21\00:23:38.20
But they've told you now that
00:23:38.74\00:23:40.13
it's nothing down and no
interest for six month, so
00:23:40.17\00:23:43.67
that's great!
00:23:43.80\00:23:44.86
Well, sic month is gonna come
00:23:45.17\00:23:46.56
but you out that aside
00:23:47.38\00:23:49.02
and you go up there and
you make the transaction
00:23:49.67\00:23:52.25
and as you're getting ready
to sign that credit card bill
00:23:52.83\00:23:57.79
supposing, at that moment,
00:23:58.65\00:24:00.79
that you got a little
sign that popped up on the
00:24:01.41\00:24:03.91
the cash register
00:24:04.32\00:24:05.78
that said this:
00:24:06.09\00:24:07.58
"When you sign the transaction
00:24:08.04\00:24:09.90
you will get smallpox!"
00:24:10.31\00:24:12.01
How would you like that?
00:24:13.51\00:24:14.50
I would
00:24:15.20\00:24:16.29
not sign the thing
and leave the store!
00:24:16.57\00:24:18.53
"Avoid debt like you
would avoid smallpox!"
00:24:18.58\00:24:22.13
I think the problem is that
00:24:22.43\00:24:24.37
many of us have lost
00:24:24.60\00:24:26.05
the real significance of debt.
00:24:26.34\00:24:27.51
We live in a society
that encourages debt.
00:24:27.55\00:24:29.95
And we have found
00:24:30.58\00:24:31.59
the freedom and
as Ben Franklin says,
00:24:31.91\00:24:34.38
we have found that our liberty
00:24:34.41\00:24:36.03
is better when we
don't have it under the power
00:24:36.79\00:24:38.69
of another!
00:24:38.72\00:24:39.77
And I think that if we
look at 1 Corinthians 13
00:24:40.82\00:24:44.11
where it talks
about what love really is,
00:24:44.14\00:24:46.05
and I know in previous programs
00:24:46.21\00:24:48.14
we've talked about
respect and restraint.
00:24:48.17\00:24:50.21
And as we let that love
of Christ work in our heart
00:24:50.76\00:24:53.05
and I respect you
00:24:53.08\00:24:54.49
that helps me to choose to
00:24:54.82\00:24:56.73
use those founds in a way that
keeps our family out of debt
00:24:56.77\00:24:59.72
or for you to be careful
on how you manage the founds
00:24:59.75\00:25:02.91
to keep our family debt free or
00:25:03.23\00:25:04.96
to keep us - That's right!
00:25:04.99\00:25:05.96
from having that
financial pressure.
00:25:05.97\00:25:08.22
So I think that we can
bring in here in our marriage
00:25:08.51\00:25:11.51
the love chapter
"seeketh not her own".
00:25:11.86\00:25:14.23
but it looks for
ways to be able to
00:25:14.64\00:25:17.89
keep that harmony and
that unity in the marriage.
00:25:17.93\00:25:20.31
And you know, we
will as we have seen
00:25:20.69\00:25:22.80
we will have more time together.
00:25:22.83\00:25:24.67
You will have more time together
00:25:25.24\00:25:26.84
as you can take
those debts down,
00:25:27.11\00:25:29.58
take the pressure off.
00:25:29.61\00:25:31.24
so that you can have more time
00:25:31.55\00:25:32.87
for the marriage and the family.
00:25:32.90\00:25:34.19
Yes! We're
reinvesting our assets
00:25:34.32\00:25:37.61
and we have each
other as an asset
00:25:37.90\00:25:39.51
and so let's
spend - That's right!
00:25:39.54\00:25:40.51
the time there instead of
things that drive us apart.
00:25:40.52\00:25:43.20
Well I think we need to
look at a personal challenge now
00:25:43.80\00:25:46.45
because each one of us has to
00:25:46.48\00:25:48.80
come to grips with
this in our marriages.
00:25:48.84\00:25:51.43
And so the three
areas that we discussed
00:25:51.72\00:25:53.59
we wanna look at what we can do
00:25:53.95\00:25:56.00
to make those a
reality in our experience.
00:25:56.04\00:25:58.63
So we encourage you to consider
00:25:58.92\00:26:00.68
each of these three
principles from God's Word
00:26:00.72\00:26:03.05
and ask yourself:
"What are we willing to do?"
00:26:03.37\00:26:06.37
"What am I willing to do?"
00:26:06.40\00:26:07.47
"What are w
willing to do together?"
00:26:07.51\00:26:09.05
Are we willing to put God first?
00:26:09.34\00:26:11.50
And let Him prove to us
00:26:11.80\00:26:14.43
that He is the God of all flesh
00:26:14.47\00:26:15.92
and there's
nothing too hard for Him
00:26:15.96\00:26:17.71
and that all of
our needs will be met.
00:26:17.75\00:26:19.47
Are we willing to agree together
00:26:19.50\00:26:21.77
with each other on how
those founds are to be spent?
00:26:21.81\00:26:24.69
How we're gonna
manage those founds?
00:26:25.03\00:26:26.58
And we're gonna be talking
about that in a later program
00:26:26.62\00:26:28.84
the actual
managing of those founds.
00:26:28.87\00:26:31.53
But accept and
agree on that principle
00:26:31.85\00:26:34.19
that we will work together
00:26:34.22\00:26:36.02
start wherever we are
00:26:36.40\00:26:37.41
and begin to make
those agreement together
00:26:37.45\00:26:39.64
on where those
founds are gonna go.
00:26:39.67\00:26:41.22
And lastly that
"owe no man anything"!
00:26:41.52\00:26:44.22
If you have debts
look for ways that
00:26:44.56\00:26:46.59
you can get out of
debt as fast as possible!
00:26:46.63\00:26:49.14
And cooperate in
the littlest things
00:26:49.46\00:26:51.48
it's five dollars here
and fifteen dollars there
00:26:51.52\00:26:54.11
and eight dollars here,
00:26:54.14\00:26:55.31
and that adds up to a
lot of dollars in a year.
00:26:55.49\00:26:57.90
That's right!
00:26:58.29\00:26:59.26
Well I thinks
it would be good to
00:26:59.42\00:27:00.92
to pray a prayer of commitment
00:27:00.95\00:27:02.42
that we can enter into these
00:27:03.04\00:27:04.40
and that our
viewing audience as well!
00:27:04.44\00:27:06.40
Father in Heaven we thank You
00:27:07.09\00:27:08.47
for the
opportunity to put You first
00:27:08.93\00:27:10.94
and we pray that as we
do this in our finances
00:27:11.33\00:27:13.74
that You will open
the windows of Heaven
00:27:14.51\00:27:16.88
and that You will be our God and
00:27:16.91\00:27:18.26
we will be Your
people, in Jesus name, Amen!
00:27:18.30\00:27:21.31
Well we look forward to
having you join us again!
00:27:23.22\00:27:26.20
In our next program
00:27:26.96\00:27:28.30
we're gonna be talking about
00:27:28.34\00:27:29.84
managing our money,
00:27:30.20\00:27:32.11
the specifics of how
we sit down and look at
00:27:32.41\00:27:36.58
the budget
00:27:36.78\00:27:37.87
and how we make those decisions
00:27:38.17\00:27:39.97
for a marriage heart to heart!
00:27:40.00\00:27:41.77
Marriage in God's Hands
00:27:45.02\00:27:47.06