Participants: Tom Waters, Alane Waters
Series Code: MGH
Program Code: MGH000015
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00:34 Welcome to Marriage Heart to Heart!
00:36 We're Tom & Alane Waters with Restoration International 00:40 And we want you 00:42 to have a marriage that's heart to heart too! 00:45 So, we hope you have your paper and pencil 00:47 because we're gonna be talking about 00:49 the subject: "Please understand me!" 00:51 something we all long for. 00:53 Oh, you like to be understood? 00:55 Oh, always! 00:57 I do too! 00:58 And I think 00:59 You like to be understood as well. 01:01 And that's what we're gonna talk about today 01:02 because when we say: 01:04 "Please understand me!" 01:05 that's a heart cry. 01:06 And it's un honest heart cry. 01:08 We need to be understood. 01:10 The problem is 01:11 if I wanna be understood 01:13 and I'm in the "me focus", 01:15 and you heard us talk about this before, 01:17 if I'm in the self focus, 01:19 just what my perspective is 01:22 then I'm not listening very good. 01:23 And if I'm in the "me focus" 01:25 and you're in the "me focus" 01:28 - And I wanna be understood 01:29 and I really wanna be right. 01:31 'Cause if I didn't think I was right 01:32 I wouldn't bother to say it. 01:34 Oh, so, you not only wanna be 01:35 understood, you wanna be right! 01:37 - Don't you? - Oh yes! 01:38 I like to be right too! 01:40 And so, if we're in the "me focus" 01:43 and we wanna be understood 01:44 and we wanna be right, 01:45 communication doesn't do very well. 01:48 If we're in the "us focus" 01:50 and I wanna be understood 01:52 then I also understand that you wanna be understood. 01:56 And if I wanna be right 01:57 I know you wanna be right. 01:59 And if we're both in the "us focus" 02:01 then we can have some good communication. 02:05 And we can really understand each other. 02:07 That's right! 02:08 It nurtures the communication 02:10 instead of breaking it down. 02:12 Yes! 02:13 And when we're in the "me focus" 02:15 it leads to irritation, frustration, hurt, 02:19 even cold wars, 02:21 fears. All kind of responses happen 02:23 when it's in the "me focus". 02:24 But when we're in the "us focus" 02:26 and that's a choice that I have to make, 02:28 to surrender my heart 02:30 to let God change my perspective, 02:32 to really understand you, 02:34 and it's something you can do. 02:36 But who ever chooses to do it first 02:37 that's the first miracle that begins to happen 02:39 in communication. 02:40 That's right! 02:41 You know, we often hear of the Golden Rule. 02:45 And it's a principle from 02:49 our Sure Foundation. 02:51 We talked about our Sure Foundation 02:53 and this has so many vital principles 02:57 to communication. 02:59 Matthew 7:12 says: 03:01 "whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, 03:04 do ye even so to them. " 03:07 That's the Golden Rule! 03:09 You know, whatever I'd like somebody to do to me 03:12 if I really 03:13 want you to listen to me 03:16 then what Jesus is saying here is 03:18 then I ought to really want to listen to you. 03:22 It's very simple! 03:23 If we're in the "us focus", 03:25 and the "us focus" only happens 03:26 if we go to the Author of this Word, 03:30 the Author of our Sure Foundation, 03:31 He becomes the Author of really understanding us. 03:35 And then we can understand each other. 03:37 And that's a nice thing 03:38 is that God always understands us 03:40 and He always knows what our real needs are. 03:42 And so, as we're willing to cooperate with Him 03:46 we have a heart to understand the other person. 03:48 That's right! 03:50 And you know, that's been something 03:52 that you have communicated to me 03:54 several times in our marriage, 03:57 that being understood 04:00 is more important 04:02 than even being right. 04:04 You remember that? - Oh yes! 04:05 I've said it many times. 04:07 Because if I really have a heart to understand you 04:10 and You know that I'm understanding you 04:13 then when we come to the end of that conversation, 04:16 that situation 04:18 then if you really understood 04:20 it makes it easier 04:22 if I don't necessarily agree. 04:24 But if I don't really understand you, 04:27 if you don't really feel understood 04:29 then where does that leave you? 04:33 Tempted to come in the "me focus". 04:35 That's right! 04:37 Tempted to be disappointed with, 04:38 or discouraged, or not accepting a poor communication. 04:43 Because I don't feel like I'm understood. 04:44 That's right! 04:46 And you were talking just a moment ago 04:48 about the first part of the miracle 04:50 being willing to surrender. 04:52 When I'm really willing to surrender 04:55 and choose to receive the Power of Jesus Christ 04:57 it's only then that I'm gonna really 05:00 be willing to understand you. 05:02 And so, when I've stepped in to that surrender, 05:04 when I've chosen that surrender 05:06 that's the first part of a real miracle, 05:09 in modern times. 05:11 That's right! And it also encourages me 05:13 in that same thing, 05:15 that I can accept that, 05:16 and I find that those feelings that are there 05:19 they just kind of start to dissipate, 05:21 they just, just like a storm that's being calmed inside. 05:24 And I really have a heart to understand 05:27 and ears to hear 05:28 and again it's not so much 05:30 that you agree with me or that I agree with you 05:33 but that we understand each other. 05:35 That's right! And this is something that 05:38 I think all couples 05:40 face, deal with. 05:43 One of the things that we experienced in 05:45 in our early marriage, 05:47 especially, 05:48 were some things that we just couldn't seem 05:51 to talk about. 05:53 Now, it wasn't that we couldn't verbally talk bout them. 05:56 But it seemed like because we were not 05:59 in this "us focus", 06:00 where we're really thinking and understanding each other 06:03 and really being surrendered, 06:05 one of the things that happened 06:07 was that when a certain subject would be brought up 06:12 we just kind of wean our eye. 06:15 And we didn't do well in that communication. 06:18 And so, we began to shy away from certain things 06:21 because we didn't liked where it took us. 06:23 We didn't like the fruit of it. 06:25 And at that time in our marriage we just weren't quite ready 06:29 to move out or to understand 06:32 that we needed to move out of that 06:34 "me focus" into the "us focus". 06:36 We were so busy trying to 06:39 get my point across 06:40 to you to get your point across 06:42 that it was difficult in some of those delicate areas. 06:45 And so, we started side stepping them. 06:49 That really isn't effective communication. 06:51 No! And it didn't really resolve the issues either. 06:54 We still had the same issues, 06:56 but they actually were growing kind of underneath things. 06:59 That's right! 07:00 And then when the subject would come up again 07:02 it would come up with greater force and intensity 07:05 and we would be a little stronger toward each other. 07:08 But we didn't find a solution. We didn't find a resolve. 07:11 All we found was it was more difficult 07:13 to talk about. 07:15 So we tried to stuff it away again 07:16 and move on to something more comfortable. 07:19 And, you know, what will happen 07:21 if that becomes the pattern in the marriage 07:25 is that more and more things get stuffed and put away. 07:27 And less and less things get really honestly dealt with. 07:30 - That's right! 07:31 - And then communication gets more deteriorated and 07:35 the walls build 07:36 and separation becomes greater. 07:38 That's right! And so, there's less and less 07:41 real understanding. 07:43 And we've seen this in many couples 07:45 that we counseled with. 07:46 There's less and less real 07:49 understanding happening 07:50 and there's more and more superficial, 07:53 we move more into the superficial conversation 07:55 more into the "Ok, did you pay the bills?" 07:58 "Did you get Susie to her lesson on time?" 07:59 That kind of stuff. 08:01 It's still communicating, but 08:03 it's not an understanding communication. 08:06 And so, we began to recognize this 08:10 and we knew that we needed to do something about it 08:14 So, we decided to do something about it. 08:16 That's right! 08:17 Because we really cared about each other 08:18 and we really cared about our marriage 08:20 and we didn't want this to rake us down. 08:22 And again I really appreciate your leadership in this. 08:24 Because, you said to me: "Honey 08:26 we need to make a commitment 08:28 that we will not let these things go undone. " 08:31 That's right! 08:34 And that commitment 08:36 has been a powerful commitment. 08:38 And they've heard us mention 08:41 James 1:19. 08:44 The reason why we have referred to this particular, 08:48 for those of you that have tuned in and 08:51 been watching the program 08:53 James 1:19 is such a powerful 08:57 text of commitment 08:58 when it's brought in to the personal life. 09:01 And I remember when we made this commitment 09:04 that we were going to, by God's Grace 09:07 really begin to be swift to hear one another. 09:12 And you know the other part of this, honey, 09:14 that was very important is 09:15 in that James 1:19 "swift to hear, slow to speak, 09:19 slow to wrath" the other aspect of that is that 09:22 when we are swift to hear 09:26 we're not just swift to hear each other. 09:28 We're also swift to hear what's saith my Lord 09:32 concerning this matter. 09:33 Because 09:34 if you think about it friends 09:36 one of the things that happens 09:38 when a situation arises is that we tend to wanna go 09:41 to that first impulse 09:44 and say that first thought. 09:46 And if we will pause 09:48 and we will be swift to hear 09:51 the Spirit speak to our hearts 09:54 what saith my Lord concerning the matter? 09:56 You know, the Bible says: "You shall hear a word behind you 09:59 saying: This is the way, 10:01 walk ye in it" 10:02 That's not an audible voice! That's the Spirit of the Lord 10:05 impressing or prompting our heart, 10:07 working through our conscience 10:10 to give us a better way 10:12 to move forward. 10:13 And so, for us 10:14 that commitment 10:16 was not just to be 10:18 swift to hear 10:20 you or you swift to hear me 10:22 but it was a commitment that we made between us 10:24 and the Lord as well 10:26 that we were going to listen to 10:28 what He would have us to say. 10:30 Which would also then give us something better 10:34 to respond back and to give us 10:36 an understanding of what the other person was saying. 10:41 So, that mixed with 10:42 "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" 10:44 made a wonderful combination - Powerful! 10:47 to help us in communication, 10:49 that we could really learn how to understand each other. 10:51 And I can say today 10:53 that we have a very good understanding of each other. 10:55 That's right! 10:56 You know, there's nothing that separates us! 10:57 - Yes! - And that's the exciting thing. 10:59 It's beautiful, but 11:01 do you remember what happened 11:03 not too long after we made this commitment? 11:05 Oh yes! 11:07 I wanna encourage you 11:09 as you listen and as you watch this program that 11:12 some of the things that 11:14 that you make a commitment to 11:16 don't think that it's just gonna 11:18 be wonderful and there's not gonna be any test 11:21 and things are just gonna 11:23 magically go 11:26 perfectly there after. 11:27 You know, when we make any commitment 11:29 that is worth being a commitment 11:31 there is going to be a proving, a testing. 11:35 And so, as we made this commitment 11:37 to be swift to hear 11:38 the Lord and one another 11:40 and as we entered in to that 11:43 to really take that Golden Rule 11:46 to do unto others as we would have others to do unto us, 11:49 to really do for you what I would wish for you to do to me. 11:54 Well I can remember 11:55 one evening 11:57 that we were just having a beautiful conversation together 12:00 everything was, I mean it couldn't have been sweeter, 12:03 and we were just talking along 12:05 and I don't know what happened, 12:07 I really don't know what happened. 12:09 But we were just talking along there 12:11 and suddenly 12:13 we became aware 12:15 that we had gotten on to one of those 12:17 very delicate subjects. 12:20 Something that had been hidden in the closet for a while. 12:21 That we didn't even remember it was there. 12:24 - Exactly! - It just came up! 12:25 It's not the one that I would've chosen 12:28 to test the commitment. 12:30 And I tell you, when that came in to the conversation, 12:34 did you feel the awkwardness? 12:36 Yes! 12:37 I felt the desire like maybe it's been too nice 12:40 maybe we just ought to 12:42 open the closet door and put it back in for a while, 12:44 you know? 12:45 - Can we rewind this - Exactly 12:47 this conversation and keep it going real nice? 12:49 Because where did this thing come from? 12:50 Exactly. 12:51 And I tell you, I felt 12:55 I felt anxiety come inside of me. 12:57 I felt self wanna rise up inside of me. 13:01 We want you to stay tuned! 13:03 We're gonna take a brake right now, 13:05 and we want you to stay tuned to find out 13:09 what the Lord did in this big test 13:12 that we faced. 13:13 Stay with us! 13:19 There are many "How to?" books available, 13:22 but there's one that's free and perfect for every couple: 13:25 how you can "Build a Better Marriage". 13:28 Bible-based, matrimonial advice is given in a 13:31 lighthearted, easy-to-read manner, 13:32 for those contemplating marriage, newlyweds, 13:35 couples in their golden years, 13:37 and everyone in-between. 13:39 Simply call or write for your free copy of 13:41 this amazing little booklet, a handy little tool 13:44 to help build a better marriage. 13:51 Welcome back! Where we've been talking about 13:53 how desperately each one of us wants to be understood. 13:59 And we found ourselves, 14:01 that night, 14:02 almost unconsciously back in one of those situations 14:07 that no one likes to be in. 14:09 And I want you to think with me for a moment, 14:11 you can probably experience, you've been in it 14:15 if you've been in a marriage 14:16 a marriage that's really honestly 14:19 seeking to have better communication, 14:21 you know what it's like when these things come up. 14:24 There are old wraths that we can get ourselves into 14:27 in how we respond to these things. 14:29 And I tell you those feelings were coming up 14:32 in me and I suppose they were coming up in you. 14:35 Oh yes! All the past came very present to mind at that moment. 14:39 And I, I just 14:43 I was looking for a way out of it. 14:45 And then I remembered the commitment. 14:50 Did you remember the commitment? 14:52 Actually I hadn't! My mind was thinking of 14:54 "How am I gonna get out of this one?" 14:57 It's so beautiful, because the Lord wants 14:59 to bring this commitment to us. 15:01 He wants to bring it back. 15:03 So it's not important that both of us remembered. 15:06 That's right! 15:07 It only takes one who remembers 15:09 and then takes the lead in that. 15:11 Yes! 15:12 And fortunately, you know, when 15:14 that happened that night 15:16 and when that little, that still small voice 15:18 brought that prompting 15:20 and reminded me of the commitment 15:23 I wanted to move forward. 15:24 I can't say I was excited about it! 15:27 It doesn't feel exciting when you're in that! 15:29 Because you only have the past to refer to 15:31 and you thought: 15:33 "Oh, these things have gone wrong, so many times 15:35 and we haven't been able to talk about this" 15:39 But that night 15:41 we moved forward 15:43 in our commitment. 15:45 And I remember 15:46 thinking: 15:48 "Lord, 15:49 what do You me to do?" 15:52 "What do You want me to do?" 15:55 And that's a question that we really need to be asking 15:58 the Lord in these situations. 16:00 It's too easy to do what I wanna do. 16:01 It's too easy to do that reaction 16:03 kind of thing. 16:04 "Lord what do You want me to do?" 16:06 And the thought that came to me, 16:09 it's not my thought, 16:10 it wouldn't been where I would have gone, 16:12 but the thought that came to me is 16:15 "Ask your wife: 16:18 Where your problem is?" 16:22 Can you imagine that? 16:24 No! I couldn't at that time! 16:26 - And I did! - I can now though. 16:27 I did, I cooperated in that situation, 16:30 I asked the Lord 16:34 what did He wanted me to do. 16:35 And now He's telling me. 16:37 No audible voice. He's 16:39 prompting me with the thought: 16:40 "Ask your wife... " 16:41 And so, 16:43 when I got that little prompting 16:45 I also got a little thought that came along with it. 16:47 It was very comforting. 16:50 this is the thought that came to me: 16:52 "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. " 16:55 This is the God that we serve! It's the same God that 16:59 worked miracles in the children of Israel lives 17:02 crossing the Desert. It's the same God 17:04 that raised the dead, 17:06 healed the sick. 17:07 He wants to do this in our marriages 17:09 and the thought came to me 17:10 "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. " 17:14 And that gave me courage 17:15 and so I turned to my wife 17:17 And I said to you: 17:19 "So, honey? 17:20 What is it that I do 17:21 in these situations?" 17:23 Do you remember that? 17:24 Oh yes! 17:25 And I was in shock when you asked me that question 17:27 because part of the problem 17:30 was that I had been trying to get you to 17:32 know what your problem was. 17:35 And you just couldn't see it. 17:36 And not only could you not see it but 17:38 you really didn't wanna hear it! 17:40 And we just always got broken down. 17:42 And I know you were trying to do the same thing to me. 17:44 You were trying to help me to see 17:46 where I had a problem 17:48 and I just couldn't see it! 17:50 And so, that's why we kind of 17:52 "Ok! Let's leave this one alone!" 17:53 "Let's leave that one alone!" 17:55 And so, when you said that to me, that night, 17:59 I was very shocked! 18:01 But I stepped forward with the opportunity. 18:05 And I said: "Well honey 18:07 there are three things. " 18:08 Oh! And that, when you said it, 18:10 and you said it about that fast, 18:12 I thought: 18:14 "Oh. Three things! 18:16 It's like you've got it already on the tip of your tongue" 18:18 That part came back too. 18:22 And you know, when you said that, 18:24 and I'm just being very honest with you folks 18:27 in how that struck me when she said: 18:30 "Well, there are three things!" 18:32 It's like I just felt 18:33 the self wanna rise up in me like a flood. 18:38 And this is the thought that the Lord brought to me: 18:41 "Be still! 18:43 And know that I am God!" 18:46 Isn't that beautiful? 18:47 It is very beautiful! 18:48 That's the God that we serve! 18:50 He is a living Savior! 18:52 Jesus wants to save us from ourselves! 18:55 And when those thoughts 18:57 and that self was coming up inside of me 19:00 the Lord called to my heart and said: "Be still! 19:03 and know that I am God!" 19:04 You know, what that said to me in that instant? 19:07 God is really God! 19:09 And if I will stay surrendered to Him 19:12 He can really work in me, 19:15 that miracle that can keep my tongue. 19:17 I don't have to be overwhelmed by this. 19:19 And so, you continued on. 19:23 "Number one. 19:26 Number one. 19:27 And I began to share with you. 19:29 I have to say that 19:31 I wasn't: "Oh good! This is my chance!" 19:34 I was coming into the conversation with 19:38 you know, attentiveness: 19:39 "Is he really want to hear what I have to say?" 19:42 Is this for real? in other words. 19:43 - And I'm testing. - Yes! You were testing. 19:44 I was testing the water. 19:45 "Number one: 19:46 literally the waters. " 19:48 And when you got to number two I had another whole 19:52 battle. You know I'll tell you what I wanted to do! 19:54 I wanted to say: "But!... " 19:55 "But!" 19:56 You know how that feels? 20:00 Yes! 20:02 And so many times in our previous situations 20:05 that's exactly what I'd say! 20:06 "But!.. " 20:08 "You don't understand! 20:09 Exactly! 20:10 "But"'s always go with "don't understand me!" 20:13 "That's not what I meant!" 20:16 But you know the Lord called to me again 20:19 and He reminded me of that verse 20:22 that we based our commitment on. 20:24 "to be swift to hear 20:26 and slow to speak 20:28 and slow to wrath" 20:29 And so I didn't say: "But!" 20:32 I let that die with self 20:34 in that same moment. 20:36 And then you continued on. 20:38 So I got passed number two. 20:40 Were you pretty surprised at this point? 20:42 Yes I really was! 20:43 'Cause I was really listening! 20:44 You were listening and you were hearing! 20:46 And I was understanding! 20:47 And you were understanding! 20:48 And you would, what we talked about in the last program, 20:51 you would actually ask me back: 20:53 "Is this what you're saying?" 20:55 And it was very clear that you understood me! 20:57 And that was an encouragement to me. 20:59 And then I said: 21:01 "Number three. " 21:03 And do you remember 21:04 that when you started sharing number three 21:08 that I had complete 21:10 rest in the Lord? 21:13 Do you remember that? 21:14 Oh yes! 21:15 Could you tell? 21:16 Yes! I mean, your physical demean it was 21:19 relaxed. It was 21:21 it was just: "Ok! I'm ready for it!" 21:23 I mean, I had surrendered in those other two situations 21:27 and I know you saw the 21:29 the countenance, you saw the struggle 21:31 but you saw me responding and surrendering 21:33 to the Lord. Was that an encouragement to you? 21:35 It was! Because it was a choice, a decision, 21:37 a principle, not by feeling. 21:39 The feelings on the exterior were different, 21:42 and what I heard you doing. 21:43 But as you spoke those, you know, as you said: 21:46 "Ok, number two" 21:48 I could see you get calm again 21:50 - Yes! 21:51 you know, in your countenance, in your body language. 21:54 And the third time 21:56 there was no lift, it was no lift inside of you. 22:00 Yes. The way I experienced it especially the first time, 22:02 the way that I could describe it to you folks 22:05 here, 22:07 is that it was like 22:09 the see raging inside of me. 22:12 And because of past habits and the past way of responding 22:15 I wanted to just... but... 22:19 the Power of the Gospel 22:21 is a life changing power! 22:24 When we surrender ourselves to Jesus Christ 22:26 this is the good news of the Gospel. 22:28 Is that He can keep us to the outermost 22:31 if we'll come to Him by faith. 22:32 And I was exercising faith. 22:34 And I tell you, it felt so good! 22:36 Didn't it feel good that night? To work and pass this? 22:39 It was! And what happened was that 22:43 not only did you understand me 22:45 but after the third one, in that moment of 22:47 reflection time that you had, 22:49 - Yes. 22:50 you said: "Honey 22:51 I see it! I see my problem!" 22:54 Could you believe it? 22:56 No! 22:57 But yes I could! I mean 23:00 I could see 23:01 that you really could understand and that you accepted it, 23:04 but it's not what I first expected. 23:06 Yes! 23:07 But I saw that miracle happen right before my eyes. 23:10 And you said: 23:11 "You're right! 23:13 I do this! 23:14 And number two you're right! 23:16 I have had this! 23:17 Number three.. " 23:19 And you went down: one two, three. 23:20 That's right: It showed I was really listening didn't it? 23:22 You were really listening and 23:24 you know, at that point 23:25 I wasn't trying to get you to agree with me. 23:26 I was just trying to have you to understand me. 23:29 - Yes. - And in that 23:30 understanding of me 23:32 you saw my perspective 23:33 and you agreed with me. 23:34 Yes! 23:35 And then you turned to me 23:37 or than I said to you I should say, 23:39 I looked at you and I said: 23:41 "Honey, 23:42 tell me what it is in me?" 23:46 And that 23:47 was the moment I've been waiting for 23:49 for a long time! 23:53 And it's interesting, do you know what happened in that? 23:55 The 23:57 it's amazing to me how God works, but in that instant 24:00 here I have my opportunity 24:02 but I was so rested in the Lord, 24:04 I was so excited 24:06 about how God had worked in my own heart 24:09 and the fact that I saw it. 24:11 I saw areas that I was blinding, areas that I had excused 24:15 areas that I had fought over, 24:17 and the Lord opened my heart 24:19 to you, that night. 24:24 I lost all my desire 24:26 to tell you 24:28 what I have been trying to tell you 24:30 in this same conversation in the past. 24:32 Because before it was me trying to get you to see. 24:34 And agree. 24:36 And you know, it was so touching about that 24:39 is that in due time we did have that 24:43 follow up conversation. 24:45 But it was nothing to mar the beauty of this experience. 24:48 In fact that's how you responded to me. 24:49 That's right! 24:50 You said: "Honey 24:52 this has been so beautiful 24:53 tonight. " - Yes. 24:55 "I don't wanna do anything that will risk 24:57 damaging what has happened in our home tonight. 25:00 What's happened in our lives" 25:02 And, you know, you said: 25:04 "I don't wanna say anything. " 25:06 "I just, I understand what you say 25:08 I agree with what you say, 25:10 and I will make the changes. " 25:13 And that was powerful to me! 25:15 Very powerful! - It was powerful to me too. 25:17 - For both of us! - I can't take much credit for 25:19 other then cooperating with the Lord. 25:20 And that's why it's so important 25:22 that early morning time, 25:24 or whatever time, whatever time of day 25:26 you spend with God and the Word 25:28 He brings His Word back to you when we need it. 25:31 He brings it back. Just like in this situation 25:33 those verses came 25:34 as encouragements, as promises, 25:37 as strength to face a difficult area 25:40 and find victory working through it. 25:43 In our earlier program we had talked about 25:47 the seven areas of effective communication. 25:50 Those have been so powerful in our own marriage 25:53 to have a committed regular time for communication. 25:56 And that communication is really listening 25:58 with the desire to understand. 26:02 And then to understand the other person's perspective. 26:05 It doesn't mean we have to agree 26:06 but to understand their perspective. 26:08 And to communicate in the positive, 26:10 look for a better way to say it. 26:12 That's right! It's nice to be appreciated 26:15 and have communication that's that way. 26:17 And to be sensitive to the nonverbal communication. 26:20 Because that's happening all the time, 26:22 rather we like it or not. 26:24 So if we can be aware of that 26:25 and how it affects. 26:27 And to stay on the topic. 26:29 It's important that we stay on the topic 26:30 and not be sidetracked with things in the past. 26:34 And to be really honest with one another. 26:36 That's important. 26:37 Anything else dear? 26:38 Well for "Please understand me!" 26:40 I think we need to ad tenderness. 26:42 That's our challenge to you this time 26:45 is to take this earlier communication tools 26:47 and now ad tenderness with that 26:50 to really understand your spouse. 26:52 That's right! And if we put that with being swift to hear 26:55 swift to hear the Spirit 26:57 and then to hear one another 26:59 that tenderness will help us 27:01 to really understand one another. 27:04 I think it would be nice right now 27:05 that we'd ask the Lord to bless our understanding. 27:08 Father in Heaven 27:10 we need understanding hearts, 27:14 heavenly beautiful love 27:16 that only You can put in our hearts. 27:18 And we pray that as we try 27:19 to understand one another and as we seek 27:22 Your wisdom to do it, that You will bless us 27:24 to that end. Through Jesus Christ we pray. 27:26 Amen! 27:29 And we hope you'll join us 27:31 next time! Because we're gonna be talking about 27:33 something that's very important 27:35 and very impactive in communication, 27:37 and It's called communication breakers. 27:39 And we want you to be here with us 27:41 so we can have a marriage heart to heart 27:43 with the Lord. |
Revised 2014-12-17