Participants: Tom Waters, Alane Waters
Series Code: MGH
Program Code: MGH000014
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00:33 Welcome to Marriage Heart to Heart!
00:35 We're Tom and Alane Waters with Restoration International 00:39 And we're excited about our topic today! 00:42 It's one of those topics that's going to make a real 00:44 difference in your marriage 00:46 if you're willing to take hold of the principles. 00:49 Today we are going to talk about seven keys 00:52 to effective communication. 00:53 So we hope we hope you have your paper and pencil 00:55 ready to start. 00:57 Effective communication has made a huge difference 01:00 in our marriage. 01:01 It has! 01:02 And you know, one of the deadliest 01:05 things in marriage 01:07 is poor communication. 01:09 It's really like a venom that many marriages 01:13 get struck by that viper. 01:14 It's like... it's a poison 01:16 and the more of that poison 01:19 of poor communication 01:21 that a marriage experiences 01:23 the more separation is caused. And... 01:27 than we can't talk about finances, we can talk about 01:30 the children, we can't talk about the real needs 01:33 in a marriage. And as that separation 01:35 and that poor communication continues 01:37 it's really one of the things that 01:39 begins to lead 01:41 in the path of divorce. 01:43 That's right! Because misunderstandings happen 01:45 hurt feelings develop, irritation, 01:47 even bitterness and resentment. 01:49 All because the communication is not good. 01:51 That's right! I remember 01:53 one evening, it wasn't 01:54 too far into our marriage. 01:56 I came home from a long day at work, 01:59 one of those hard days, 02:02 and I had so much to do when I got home 02:05 I really didn't have time to communicate with you. 02:07 And I didn't really feel like communicating, 02:09 I just felt like being to myself and 02:13 you remember what happened that day. 02:15 Oh yes! 02:17 I always like you to talk but, 02:18 I gave you your space so you could do 02:20 what you needed to do, and kind of unwind for the day. 02:23 And then the phone rang. 02:25 And 02:26 - I answered it! - Yes! 02:27 It was kind of a memorable situation. 02:29 Because you were too busy. 02:32 And so, the phone rang and 02:34 it was one of my buddies. 02:37 And you saw a change in me 02:39 when I got on the phone. 02:41 Oh, you came alive! 02:43 That phone conversation just brought you alive. 02:45 This tired man that 02:47 had too much on his mind and 02:50 life was too stressful 02:52 and I came alive! 02:54 So, I ended up talking for thirty minutes 02:58 on the phone that day. 02:59 And I know you remember that. 03:01 Yes. Because when you got down I said: 03:03 "Who was it?!" 03:04 Yes. And I shared it with you and do you remember 03:06 the famous question that you asked me? 03:08 Yes! "What did you talk about?" 03:11 And do you remember the famous answer? 03:13 Yes! 03:15 I turned to my wife very flippantly. 03:18 Now, I've just spent thirty minutes 03:20 I don't really have time to talk to my wife 03:22 when I come home from work this particular day, 03:24 I've got too much to do, I'm too busy. 03:27 Now here's an unscheduled phone call from 03:29 one of my friends 03:32 and now I relax and I spend thirty minutes on the phone 03:35 laughing, enjoying conversation 03:39 and my dear wife 03:40 asks me what we talked about. 03:44 And my response was: 03:47 "Oh, nothing." 03:50 That wasn't a very pleasant response for you! Was it? 03:53 No! Because it told me that 03:54 I really wasn't as important as your friend was. 03:57 And I was just interested in knowing what you talked about. 04:00 Because you seemed so happy and enjoying it so much, 04:03 'course I wanted to see what it is. 04:04 Maybe I can do some of that too, you know? 04:06 And so, really you weren't looking 04:08 for a full blown description 04:10 that would've taking me another half an hour 04:12 in my busy schedule. 04:13 That's right! 04:15 You were just wanting a little overview. 04:17 And, you know, I'm afraid that 04:19 that is what's happened too many times in marriages, 04:23 that kind of scenario, 04:24 where we've got time for everybody else 04:28 but somehow we just don't seem to have time 04:30 for that vital communication, that effective communication 04:34 that we need for a marriage heart to heart. 04:37 I think about every couple 04:38 has experienced that. - That's right! 04:40 and to whatever degree, 04:41 if it's something that happens on a rare occasion 04:44 it's no problem. 04:45 But if something that's happening daily 04:47 it is a problem. 04:48 - Yes! It is! - That marriage is in trouble. 04:50 It begins to build barriers. 04:52 And I think it's interesting 04:55 Hebrews 13:16: 04:57 gives us a very important clue 05:01 about how important communication is. 05:03 It says there: "To communicate 05:06 forget not: for with such sacrifices 05:12 God is well pleased." 05:14 Now, that's very interesting. 05:15 That word "sacrifices" I wanna underscore that for a minute. 05:19 Because that tells me 05:22 that God understands this problem 05:24 that happens in many marriages. 05:26 But He also understands 05:28 that we can't forget how important it is to communicate. 05:32 Because if we're willing to communicate 05:35 and if we don't forget to communicate 05:37 or don't push it off 05:39 and we continue to communicate 05:41 God is gonna be very well pleased. 05:44 And we've come to find out that 05:46 we are very well pleased. 05:48 That's right because God's pleased because 05:50 we are a happy couple. 05:51 - That's right! 05:52 We have harmony and unity 05:53 because our communication is good. 05:55 So we need to look at these seven points 05:57 of good communication, of effective communication 06:00 in our homes. 06:01 First one we wanna talk about is taking time for each other 06:04 'cause we can't communicate if we don't take time to do it. 06:06 That's right! 06:07 So that's the key, that's number one. 06:09 You know, and we like to use these simple illustrations 06:13 you know, about that telephone call, 06:14 because many of you 06:15 can relate to this in your own way, 06:17 in your own circumstances. 06:19 But just relating to it is not enough! 06:22 Those situations and evaluating in our own minds 06:26 what took place there helped us to begin 06:29 to say: "We need to make a commitment." 06:32 "If we're gonna have effective communication 06:34 we need to make a commitment that's 06:36 worthy of our marriage commitment. 06:38 And so do you remember the 06:40 commitment that I made to you? 06:41 Yes! I do dear! 06:43 You were generous. 06:45 We called it our five minute time. 06:46 That's right! 06:47 Now, 06:49 don't think that it's only five minutes, 06:50 but that's how it started out. 06:51 And I'll tell you how it happened: 06:53 I recognized that I needed to be giving my wife 06:58 a regular time every day 07:00 that was committed time, 07:02 time that she could count on. 07:03 Not only did I make that commitment to you 07:06 but I told you that I was going to really listen. 07:11 So I could say anything that I wanted to say. 07:12 Anything you wanted. 07:14 And you remember the first day 07:15 that we had this five minute time, 07:18 our talk time? - Yes! 07:19 It was five minutes, but 07:20 then it always went beyond that 07:21 - That's right! - even from the first day. 07:23 But what it told me is that 07:24 you were willing to give me special time every day 07:26 and that's what really you were communicating to me. 07:28 More that just when we can fit it in or 07:30 passed each other, pass on the information. 07:33 And I've decided that I wasn't gonna 07:35 start telling you everything on the first day. 07:38 You won't gonna just unload on me. 07:40 No! I wanted to 07:42 make it very positive for you. 07:43 And this is important. When you get that time 07:46 don't start it by all the things 07:48 that you're not happy with or that 07:50 you'd like to see improved. 07:51 Start it in a positive way! 07:54 And you know, one of the things that I committed to 07:57 in my own heart when I made that commitment to you 08:00 was that I was going to really 08:03 endeavor to listen! 08:06 Did you hear that word? 08:07 I did! 08:08 Did you hear that word? 08:10 Listen! 08:11 That is a very important word! 08:13 And listening as far as I'm concerned 08:15 and what I've tried to commit to my wife 08:18 in that situation was: "I'm going to listen 08:21 so that you are really understood! 08:25 And I wanna know that you're understood. 08:27 And I wanna make sure that I'm listening 08:30 not just waiting to say what I wanna say." 08:32 Because, you know, many times when we're listening 08:35 we can be, the brain 08:37 is incredible, we can be 08:39 listening, or partially listening, 08:41 - Hearing words I think. 08:42 - Hearing words! - Hearing the words! 08:43 And thinking about what we're gonna say to respond. 08:45 And I made a commitment to myself and I didn't say this 08:49 directly to you, but I wanted to try to really listen for you, 08:52 what you're really saying. 08:54 And know that I was understanding you 08:56 before I responded. Because in our past communication 09:00 many times I cut you off. 09:01 "Oh, I know what you're gonna say! 09:02 Don't say it! I know what you're thinking!" 09:05 We've both done that! Right? 09:07 Yes we have! 09:08 But I recognized I needed to take responsibility for that 09:11 for effective communication. 09:13 So, we made time 09:15 together, we took that time 09:17 faithfully 09:19 and I listened 09:21 to really understand you. 09:22 And you know what your response was to me 09:24 that really meant a lot to me 09:25 as a result of me listening to you 09:27 with understanding, 09:29 you started wanting to hear 09:30 my perspective again. 09:33 And that's really effective communication. 09:35 That's right! 09:36 So that brings us to point number two. 09:38 Listen with a heart to hear, not just the head but a heart 09:42 that I really understand you 09:43 and you really understand me. 09:45 And we agreed 09:46 that we would hear what the other one was saying 09:49 and we would listen with our heart. 09:50 That's right! 09:52 And then we would repeat it back so 09:54 if you said something to me I would clarify: 09:57 this what I'm hearing you say, 09:58 this is what I understand you to say. 10:00 Yes! 10:01 - And not a mechanical... 10:02 - Not in a mechanical way, 10:03 but just share back what I'm understanding you saying 10:06 That's right! 10:07 And that was very important 10:08 because we found out that sometimes our problem was 10:11 I was hearing but not understanding 10:12 you were giving the time but I wasn't understanding 10:15 or you weren't understanding. - That's right! 10:17 So, hearing with a heart, hearing with your heart 10:20 means that we're gonna hear what the person has to say 10:23 and we're gonna say it back so that we have clarification. 10:27 It doesn't mean that I have to agree with you 10:29 or that you have to agree with me, 10:30 but we have to understand each other. 10:32 That's the second point! 10:33 That's right! And you know, the beauty of that is 10:35 that if we really have that desire, 10:38 which we do have, and we have for many years now 10:41 when we have that desire to really listen 10:45 and really understand 10:47 even though we don't have to agree on everything 10:49 we can have differing perspectives but 10:52 the beauty of it is, is that we agree on many more things, 10:56 because of that kind of communication. 10:58 And so I wanna talk about that third area, 11:01 of effective communication. And that is that we can 11:04 have differing opinions 11:05 and differing perspectives. 11:09 It doesn't mean that my wife has to think like I think. 11:14 Or I have to think like she thinks 11:16 in order to blend our lives together. 11:18 The two shall become one. 11:20 It means that we have to be able to communicate 11:23 in such a way that we have the openness, 11:25 we have the willingness, we have the desire 11:27 the understanding 11:28 that we can blend together. 11:30 And you can still be your individual 11:32 and I can still be mine, we can still hold differing opinions 11:35 and differing perspectives. 11:37 But where many people get confused 11:39 is that we cannot 11:42 try to live on different principles. 11:45 That's right! 11:46 effective communication means 11:48 that we can have differing perspectives 11:51 on things that are, you know, not a moral issue 11:53 things that don't affect the principles of God's Word and 11:57 and don't affect the morality and the integrity 12:00 of our marriage and family. 12:02 But we can't go around 12:03 having different perspectives on principles. 12:06 That's right! 12:07 And the reason that many people 12:09 have the differing perspective on principles 12:12 is number one because 12:14 many times we're not going to God's Word 12:18 for that Sure Foundation 12:19 that we've talked about. 12:21 Secondly we're not willing to let self die. 12:24 That's the me focus that we've talked about earlier. 12:27 We wanna hold on to my me focus and not let that go, 12:31 therefore we divide. 12:33 And you view principle this way, I view principle this way 12:36 so maybe we should give them a little 12:38 illustration about the difference between perspective 12:41 and principle. 12:42 Well, one of the things that I remember 12:44 that's happened more than a few times in our home 12:46 is that when we're at the meal table 12:48 and I'd like the children just to try something once, 12:51 they don't have to like it, 12:52 they don't have to eat a whole helping of it 12:54 but just to try it. 12:55 And so I may say to them, you know: 12:57 "Alison, I'd like you, to you know, try this, 13:00 before you decide you don't like it, just take a bite." 13:04 It might not look good, but... 13:06 "Don't have to like it! Just try it!" 13:08 And you may have a totally different perspective. 13:11 You know, for you it's not important that they try it. 13:13 That's right! 13:14 - And so.. - That's one of the things that 13:15 we've differed on. 13:17 That's right! 13:18 And so, if I've made that request 13:20 then you support me in that. - That's right! 13:22 And if you have let-outs that oh doesn't matter 13:25 then I support you in that. 13:27 That's right! 13:28 And we have a differing perspective 13:29 but our communication is good 13:31 and we have that understanding. 13:33 And so, then we parent in agreement 13:35 with our young people. 13:36 We don't give them a different message. 13:37 That's right! So we can still have a different perspective 13:40 but our children see that although we 13:42 hold a different opinion, we can support each other 13:44 in that when we're visiting family or friends or 13:47 whatever I can support you in that position 13:50 or if I'm the one that happens to be 13:52 in the situation to make it vocal 13:55 you know, about that situation, you can support me. 13:58 But what about the principle 14:00 of Ephesians 6:1? 14:02 That says: 14:03 "Children, 14:04 obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." 14:08 Now, can we have a differing opinion 14:11 on that and still have effective communication? 14:14 No! 14:16 And many parents today do have that differing opinion. 14:19 You've got one parent 14:21 who lets the children get away with anything 14:23 and it's compromising 14:25 and is indulging 14:27 and they're telling the child: 14:29 "No, you can't do this." 14:30 And the child does it anyway 14:31 and the parent does nothing about it. 14:34 So, here's the child getting one message from a parent 14:37 that's very confusing. 14:39 "I don't really have to obey mommy in this situation 14:41 'cause mommy just 14:43 lets me do it! 14:45 But now, when daddy comes home 14:48 daddy makes me obey." 14:50 That's not a good message for our children. 14:52 That doesn't send them 14:53 an effective communication message. 14:56 - And it brakes down our communication. 14:59 - That's right! It brakes down our communication. 15:00 It puts us against one another at a variance. 15:03 So, we can have differing opinions 15:05 on perspectives and those kinds of things. 15:08 But when we come to the principles of God's Word 15:11 we need to give a balanced message. 15:13 And we need to give you a brake right now 15:16 and we'll be right back to talk about 15:18 the rest of those principles 15:21 about effective communication. 15:22 Stay with us! 15:29 There are many "How to?" books available, 15:31 but there's one that's free and perfect for every couple: 15:34 how you can "Build a Better Marriage". 15:37 Bible-based, matrimonial advice is given in a lighthearted, 15:41 easy-to-read manner, for those contemplating marriage, 15:43 newlyweds, couples in their golden years, 15:46 and everyone in-between. 15:48 Simply call or write for your free copy of this 15:51 amazing little booklet, a handy little tool 15:53 to help build a better marriage. 16:02 Welcome back! 16:03 We've been talking about effective communication. 16:06 And we're looking at point number four 16:07 to have effective communication 16:09 is that we have to be positive 16:11 in our communication. 16:13 We have to appreciate one another. 16:15 Say things of appreciation, express that. 16:18 And say things in a positive way. 16:20 I remember I used to say things like this: 16:23 "Oh, my husband is not any good at that 16:24 can you help us with?" 16:26 Like mechanical things 16:28 or home maintenance things you know, 16:30 we'll get a friend who's a plumber: 16:31 "Can you do this? My husband is not any good at that!" 16:34 That form of communication 16:35 is really a put down to you. 16:37 And I didn't even realize that. 16:39 I didn't really... you know... even understand that 16:41 when we were doing it in those days. 16:42 It really didn't affect you that way, 16:44 but God put in my heart that I could say something better. 16:47 effective communication is positive. 16:50 You know: "Can you help us with this pluming job? 16:52 That's not one of my husbands strengths" 16:54 Certainly makes it sound better! 16:55 Yes! 16:56 It is, and... 16:58 It's not that he's just terrible at it, but just... 17:00 not as high on the priority list 17:02 - Right! - ...strengths. 17:03 But looking for ways to 17:04 communicate something in the most positive way 17:07 will improve our communication 17:09 and when our communication is positive, 17:12 we have a marriage that's heart to heart. 17:14 - That's right! - And showing appreciation 17:16 many times you'll say: "Honey 17:18 thank you for the meal!" 17:19 I mean I feed you every day and every day you have some 17:22 words of appreciation. 17:23 It's not taken for granted. 17:26 And that influence has transferred 17:28 to our children in the home 17:29 and it creates the atmosphere 17:31 not just between us that's at peace and resting 17:33 happy but also in the entire family. 17:36 So the positive communication has been very beneficial. 17:40 Well, you know, if you think about it 17:42 all of us like appreciation. 17:44 I mean 17:45 don't you like to be appreciated? 17:47 Doesn't it feel nice when somebody notices 17:50 that you did a good job? 17:52 Or when you did something special? 17:54 Now, we shouldn't be doing it 17:56 for that motivation 17:57 certainly. 17:58 But it's encouraging. 18:00 You know: "The lawn looks great, honey!" 18:04 You know, those are words of encouragement that 18:06 even though I'm gonna still mow the lawn 18:08 when I hear my wife say that to me 18:11 it just, yes! It's nice! 18:14 So, I think we've learned and are continuing to learn 18:17 that if we express those words of appreciation 18:22 and I do for the meals like you said, 18:24 - You do for a lot of things! - And it's because I 18:26 I really do appreciate! I appreciated you 18:29 home schooling our children through all those years. 18:32 I really genuinely appreciated 18:33 as I saw the fruit in our young people 18:35 and saw their successes, they went on in their careers. 18:38 It's been a blessing! 18:40 I genuinely appreciated! 18:41 And lots of people do genuinely appreciate things 18:45 but they never express it! 18:48 And 18:49 it's like receiving a flower. 18:50 I mean I can think nice things about you 18:51 but it's nice once in a while to give you a rose or 18:54 you know, it says something in a little different way. 18:57 That's right! And when we 19:00 increase our positive communication in the home 19:03 it also increases the little things we do for each other, 19:06 the little acts of kindness. - Yes! 19:08 You know, like with you mowing the lawn. 19:10 Oh, I'll bring you out a glass of water. 19:11 Because I appreciate what you're doing. 19:13 And so, it goes from our words 19:17 and it moves to our actions. 19:18 Yes! And I wanna encourage the people 19:20 I think a lot of this 19:22 we do it out there 19:24 we express appreciation, 19:26 we write maybe nice thank you notes and 19:29 and we express.. - You did a great job 19:30 at some of your work. - Yes! 19:32 You know, we express out there. Let's express it here 19:35 in the marriage! 19:37 Let's express it in the family! 19:39 Because that's where it needs to be happening 19:42 the most! 19:43 Well, let's move on to number five. 19:46 Being sensitive 19:47 or being aware of the nonverbal communication 19:51 that takes place because 19:52 do you know that even in our silence 19:55 we're communicating? 19:57 There's communication that comes through 19:59 in the countenance of the face 20:00 there's communication that's coming through 20:03 in the expression in the eyes. 20:06 And so 20:07 we need to be sensitive to that nonverbal communication 20:11 because I can be saying one thing 20:14 and be feeling something else. And what I'm feeling 20:16 you'll probably know, 20:18 after living with me for this long. 20:20 That's right! 20:21 Because we really gain more by the expression 20:24 than we do with words. 20:26 'Cause the words can be under control or 20:29 managed in even the me focus to some degree. 20:32 But, what's inside can't be. 20:34 And that's where the real message is coming from. 20:35 So to be sensitive to our communication 20:38 and how we respond nonverbally. 20:41 That means our heart has to be right! 20:43 The source has to be pure. 20:44 Yes! 20:45 That's what God wants to do in our hearts. 20:47 I remember 20:48 I was just smiling because I 20:50 remembered that one day we were having 20:52 a little family council together. 20:53 It was a little impromptu family council. 20:56 And the children had something 20:57 that they really felt they needed to share. 20:59 And that's something we have really encouraged in our home 21:03 is what we call family council. 21:04 You can come together and you can share 21:06 what's on your hearts and 21:07 we'll talk about it and we'll get a resolution. 21:10 So, that day that they had come and 21:12 we were talking together and 21:14 it seemed like I was having a little bit of difficulty 21:16 getting out of them 21:18 what they really wanted to say, and I finally said to them, 21:21 you know: "Is there something 21:22 that it's keeping you from just opening up?" 21:26 And one of them said: "Well, 21:28 Father, 21:31 it's that wrinkled forehead." 21:33 And I said: 21:35 "Wrinkled forehead?" 21:37 "What is, what do you mean wrinkled forehead?" 21:39 And I started doing this, and 21:40 they said: "No father, that's not what we mean" 21:42 I said: "Is it like this?" 21:44 "No, you can't make it happen, except when you 21:47 are really doing it!" 21:49 "But when you get that wrinkled forehead it 21:51 kind of tells us that 21:53 maybe this isn't the best time to communicate this." 21:57 And so, you remember, I said to them: 21:59 "Well, I don't wanna have a wrinkled forehead anymore." 22:01 "Because in our home 22:02 we're serious about living real Christianity." 22:05 That's right! 22:06 So I gave them permission from then on 22:08 to tell me: 22:09 "If I'm getting the wrinkled forehead 22:11 you have permission to respectfully tell me 22:14 that I've got a wrinkled forehead. 22:16 And by God's Grace I'm gonna deal with this." 22:19 And have I dealt with it dear? 22:21 I haven't seen it in so long 22:22 I told you earlier, I almost forgot what it looks like. 22:25 I'll have to wait till the next time. 22:27 - And I want... - You can't mimic it! 22:28 Yes, I want that to be an encouragement to our listeners. 22:32 These things that are difficult, 22:34 the things that brake effective communication 22:37 these things can be changed, 22:38 if we're willing to cooperate with the Lord. 22:41 The sixth thing we wanna talk about 22:42 to effective communication 22:44 is to stay on the topic. 22:46 And you have been great in our marriage 22:48 to keep me on the topic. 22:50 Because sometimes, what brakes communication down 22:53 is that something little starts 22:55 and one of those communication breakers enter 22:58 and then we're down here and here and here. 23:00 And pretty soon we're in a big disagreement 23:03 over something that wasn't even the issue. 23:05 Yes, it wasn't even what we started with. 23:07 It wasn't where we started. 23:08 So stay on the topic whatever it is. 23:10 If there's a problem that has to be addressed 23:12 let's stay with the topic. 23:14 And it really decreases the potential for frustration. 23:17 Amen! 23:19 And area number seven 23:21 the last area that we wanna talk about. 23:23 is honesty and integrity. 23:26 Those are powerful words. 23:29 And unfortunately in many marriages 23:32 there isn't open, honest communication. 23:37 And we're actually gonna spend 23:38 we felt that this was important 23:40 if we're gonna spend a whole program 23:42 talking about honesty and integrity. 23:45 But it's been vital in our marriage. 23:47 I mean 23:48 the honesty we're talking about is not just 23:51 telling the truth. 23:52 It goes way beyond that. What are we hiding from 23:55 one another? 23:56 And why are we hiding? What's the motivation behind it? 23:58 So, that has been a tremendous blessing 24:01 as we have been building a marriage that's heart to heart. 24:05 That transparency in our marriage 24:08 between each other 24:09 which only improves our communication, 24:11 because we know when we share with each other 24:14 we're open and honest, 24:15 even if the things we have to share are difficult to share. 24:18 That's right! 24:19 So, we wanna give you 24:21 a personal challenge today 24:25 that you will take time daily. 24:27 This question of communication is so vital. 24:33 If you're experiencing 24:35 the tragic results of poor communication. 24:38 And if you feel 24:39 the walls are there and if only one of you recognizes it 24:42 now is the time to begin introducing 24:46 effective communication 24:48 on a daily basis. Make a positive suggestion 24:51 that you're willing to begin participating 24:54 with a regular scheduled time of communication. 24:58 And then agree 25:00 even if it's just one person 25:03 we can agree in our own mind 25:04 that I'm gonna communicate and listen with my heart. 25:08 If one person does that in the marriage 25:11 you already see improvement. 25:13 Because it's what's happening in your heart 25:14 that can make the difference. 25:16 So, really listen with your heart! 25:18 Don't try to think what they're gonna say 25:19 and finish their sentences or get your 25:22 spiel ready to present. 25:24 Listen with your heart! 25:25 And then make sure that you understand 25:27 before you draw your conclusions. 25:29 That's right! 25:30 And then 25:31 we need to allow for a differing perspective. 25:34 A differing perspective, 25:35 not on the principles of God's Word, 25:36 we need to be united there, but a differing perspective 25:39 on how we see life. 25:41 Express appreciation! 25:43 That is something that happens regularly in our home. 25:46 And it has meant so much. It opens communication. 25:49 I feel like sharing more, 25:50 I feel like sharing my heart with my husband 25:53 when there's that positive expression 25:56 and that appreciation in our communication. 25:59 And be sensitive 26:01 to those nonverbal communications, 26:03 the messages that are being given 26:05 through what's really in the heart. 26:07 Yes! 26:08 I can't control what my husband expresses, 26:10 his nonverbals, 26:12 but I can allow Christ to work in my heart 26:15 at the source and my nonverbals can be 26:18 more positive. 26:20 And then remember to stay on the topic. 26:23 Remember what you really wanted to talk about 26:25 and don't get sidetracked with all those other issues 26:28 that wanna come in, take you down on a wrong track. 26:31 Don't bring up that past! 26:33 Stay on the topic! 26:34 And then be honest in your communication, 26:37 even if you're concerned it might be a little hurtful 26:40 be honest and sensitive 26:42 in how you present it. 26:44 We want you to experience a marriage heart to heart. 26:48 And as we continue to grow in our marriage 26:50 we know the main key force behind it 26:53 is our willingness to surrender 26:55 and receive the Power of Jesus Christ! 26:57 And we wanna turn there 26:59 for just a moment as we close in prayer. 27:03 Father in Heaven we thank You that we can come to You. 27:07 We wanna have effective communication and we know 27:09 part of that is that we need 27:10 to effectively communicate with You 27:12 through Your Word and through our time in prayer. 27:15 And Father I just pray for 27:17 our viewing audience today 27:18 that if there's communication barriers, 27:21 things that are breaking down the communication 27:23 that our listeners will take courage and hope 27:26 to continue to move forward 27:28 with a new desire to communicate effectively. 27:31 In Jesus name we thank You! Amen! 27:35 We hope you'll join us next time 27:37 as we continue talking about 27:39 effective communication. 27:41 This next time we'll be talking about: Please understand me! 27:44 We all wanna be understood! 27:46 And we all want a marriage heart to heart! 28:25 Produced by Three Angels Broadcasting Network 28:28 Captions and subtitles by Christian Media Services |
Revised 2014-12-17