Participants: Alane Waters, Tom Waters
Series Code: MGH
Program Code: MGH000013
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00:33 Welcome to Marriage Heart to Heart!
00:35 We're Tom & Alane Waters with Restoration International 00:38 And we're looking forward 00:40 to our time together with you again today! 00:42 We're gonna be talking about setting priorities. 00:45 Do you remember the last program where we were talking 00:47 about forming common goals. Today we wanna talk about 00:50 how we set priorities to reach those goals. 00:52 So we hope that you have a paper and a pencil 00:54 as we begin today's program. 00:56 So how did you do 00:59 since the last time that we were together, 01:00 when we talked about how we 01:02 formed some of our goals? 01:04 How did you deal in taking time 01:07 and making time? Now 01:09 you may have said: "Yes we need that time!" 01:11 But did you actually carved out that time? 01:14 Did you make the time to sit down together 01:17 and look at what goals you wanted to have? 01:19 Because if we don't know the goals that we're agreeing on 01:24 how are we going to set the priorities? 01:25 And that's what we're gonna talk about today. 01:28 How we set the priorities to accomplish those goals. 01:32 You know, sometimes we set the goals 01:34 but we don't take the time to set the priorities to reach them 01:37 That's right! 01:38 And what happens is, 01:39 is we that life becomes more frustrating again, 01:42 more stressful. 01:43 And we become discouraged 01:45 because we have these goals out there 01:46 but they're not really being met, 01:47 because we've never set priorities to reach those goals, 01:50 to get there. 01:52 So, there's discouragement that comes in 01:53 or sometimes even guilt. 01:55 So setting priorities has been 01:57 an exciting thing in our family. And we keep 02:00 not just setting the priority, 02:01 but we change our life to meet those priorities. 02:05 and then we reevaluate that. 02:07 And it's been such a blessing in our home. 02:09 That's right! 02:10 So, let's look at the three goals 02:12 that we talked about for our home last time. 02:16 Because we wanna take those three goals 02:18 that we felt were vitally important, 02:20 and then we wanna talk about 02:22 how we went around when about 02:23 setting those priorities to accomplish it. 02:27 So, our first one, was having a vital connection with God. 02:30 Without this vital connection 02:32 to a power outside of ourselves we are powerless, 02:35 we can't do it! Can we dear? 02:37 No! 02:38 - We've already to many times! - We tried. 02:40 So Jeremiah 29:13 says: 02:42 "You shall seek me 02:44 and find me when you shall search 02:47 for me with all your heart" 02:51 Well? That means we needed to take more time 02:53 than we were taking 02:54 to spend time 02:57 in God's Word, 02:58 because we talked about this Sure Foundation 03:02 but if we're not in God's Word 03:04 we're not gonna have a Sure Foundation. 03:06 And so, if we're not seeking God 03:09 we're not going to be able to have this vital connection 03:11 this power that we need to really live the Christian life, 03:15 to really have a marriage that's heart to heart. 03:17 So, we made some decisions 03:20 on making time 03:22 for God in the morning 03:23 rather then these five minutes, 03:24 a quick, you know, reading and out the door. 03:27 I remember when we made that commitment 03:29 and we decided, we were gonna get 30 minutes 03:31 earlier. 03:32 I mean that's not a lot of time! 03:34 We usually waste more than 30 minutes a day 03:36 - But it was a start. - It was a start. 03:37 That's where we started. 03:39 And I remember, you know, the excitement, 03:41 the enthusiasm that we had. We had our two young girls and 03:45 we were gonna start getting up a half an hour earlier 03:47 just to seek the Lord, so that we could begin the day. 03:50 Because we knew that 03:51 if we waited to try to fit Him in somewhere else in the day 03:54 He just never would get fit in. - It doesn't work. 03:57 So the very first morning, when we got up, 04:00 so did our girls. 04:01 Remember that? 04:02 Oh yes! 04:03 Oh, that wasn't too bad, but the next morning they 04:05 got up again. 04:06 And they had never woken up. 04:08 You know, I mean they were always good 04:09 about getting up at their regular time. 04:11 So, I started setting the alarm clock earlier and earlier 04:14 and earlier. 04:16 And they kept waking up early and early and earlier 04:18 and the earlier they woke up 04:19 the more traumatic was their wakening. 04:21 I mean screaming, crying, hysterical. 04:24 So it was very hard to even get them calm. 04:26 And it was quite concerning to us. 04:29 Yes! And after we 04:32 saw this happening over and over again 04:34 for a few days 04:36 we were using some of our quiet time together 04:39 to seek the Lord why is this happening. 04:41 We begin to realize 04:43 that the Devil does not want us taking this time. 04:46 Now, he doesn't care if we go through some 04:49 formality, ok? 04:51 A quick prayer and then we're out the door. 04:54 But what the Devil does not want to happen 04:57 is for us to gain 04:58 a vital connection with the Power of Jesus Christ 05:01 because when that happens 05:03 the Devil trembles 05:04 because he knows he begins to loose his power in our lives 05:07 and we begin to live real Christian lives. 05:10 So, we recognized 05:12 that the Devil was beginning to harass our girls. 05:15 They were waking up screaming 05:17 early in the morning, just screaming. 05:19 And they were contented and would sleep normally. 05:22 So we went to the Lord 05:25 if you remember, that next night, 05:27 we went to the Lord 05:28 and we got on our knees and we really 05:30 pleaded with the Lord for our girls. 05:33 And the blessing was that that next morning 05:36 the Lord put a hedge about us. 05:38 At least that's how I visualized it. 05:40 He put a hedge about us 05:42 and we did not have that problem from then on. 05:45 That was very encouraging to me. That helped motivate me 05:49 to know that the 05:51 priority we were making with God first thing in the day 05:54 was something that was important to Him. 05:56 And needed to be that important to us 05:58 that He would do that in our home 06:00 for us and working with our children. 06:02 And it's been, it's been 06:03 something we've done ever since then. 06:05 That's right! 06:06 And it's been a real blessing. And in that morning time 06:09 we started establishing our personal prayer life. 06:12 And we've already talked about 06:15 prayers of love. 06:16 But that's very important 06:17 that we take the time every day 06:19 - To pray and commune with God. - Yes! 06:20 for our personal needs. 06:22 And the other thing that we began to do was 06:24 instead of just reading 06:25 something 06:26 we began studying. 06:29 And I wanna encourage you, 06:30 there's a difference between taking the Word of God 06:33 and just reading it. Reading is 06:35 is important 06:37 but studying is more important. 06:40 If we'll take God's Word 06:42 and we'll begin to study for a practical application 06:46 for our lives 06:47 so that the Words of God 06:48 become words like they were for Jeremiah. 06:51 "I found thy word and I did eat it 06:53 and thy word became the joy and rejoicing of my soul. 06:59 That means that for Jeremiah 07:01 the Word of God became a part of him. 07:03 And that's what God wants for us. 07:05 So, just reading 07:07 for us was not enough! 07:08 It was beginning to study 07:10 and understand how this applies to me 07:12 and how I can bring it into my marriage 07:15 and my family. 07:16 And that also encouraged us to 07:18 start studying for things 07:20 that we knew we needed in our lives. 07:22 And for me it was how to be 07:23 a better wife and a better mother. 07:25 Because that's where I live every day. 07:27 And for you out there, you women 07:29 instead of looking for generic topics 07:32 study God's Word 07:33 for how you can be a better wife and a better mother 07:35 in your home. And see the difference 07:37 that God can really make in your life. 07:39 And then the other thing that I really enjoy doing 07:42 was when we would finish, 07:43 I would come to you and share with you 07:45 what I had learned, 07:46 and you would share with me what you had learned. 07:48 And that was encouraging because we could 07:50 glean from each other study time 07:52 and get a bigger blessing. 07:54 Ok. 07:55 So we hope that you will take the time 07:58 not only to 07:59 find the common goals that you believe in 08:02 and that you believe will change your family 08:05 and that will advance your family but 08:07 then take the time 08:09 to set the priorities 08:11 and then follow through with those priorities. 08:14 The second area that we talked about 08:16 was the happy home. 08:19 Now, this seems very basic. 08:20 Does anybody wanna have an unhappy home? 08:24 No! 08:25 No?! 08:26 Nobody wants to have an unhappy home 08:27 or an unhappy marriage. 08:28 I don't get married, none gets married to be unhappy! 08:30 We get married to fulfill happiness in our lives. 08:33 So we've come to understand that if we wanna have 08:36 a truly happy home then we need to 08:39 make some differences in the choices we make. 08:41 Because it's not gonna happen by accident. 08:43 Because everything is working against having a happy home. 08:47 So one of the things that 08:49 we started doing was 08:51 beginning to have regularity 08:53 in our lives. 08:54 Now, why is regularity important? 08:57 Well, everything in life is successful 08:59 anything that grows and blooms has regularity. 09:03 Every business that's successful 09:05 has regularity. - That's right! 09:07 In my nursing, I had regularity. 09:09 I had to be to work on time, 09:11 I had my responsibilities with my patients on ICU. 09:14 These meds had to be given on time. 09:16 These treatments need to be done on time 09:17 for the life, for the safety for the healing of that person. 09:22 And we've just translate that into our life. 09:24 If we want our home to be happy 09:26 certainly knowing how the day flows 09:28 we'll remove a lot of the anxiety, a lot of the 09:32 fretfulness because everybody is anticipating 09:34 what's happening next. 09:35 And so we're flowing together. 09:37 - That's right! - So, setting a schedule 09:38 and having regularity in the home 09:40 became very important to us. 09:41 That's right! And I think the lack of regularity 09:44 is creating a lot of confusion in people's homes. 09:46 Because sometimes, mother and father may be ready 09:49 for breakfast before father gets off to work 09:53 and the children may or may not be there. 09:55 Some mornings they may have family worship 09:56 and then other mornings they don't, 09:58 and that creates an atmosphere of confusion. 10:01 So if wanna have an atmosphere 10:04 that's a little taste of Heaven 10:06 then regularity is something that we found 10:09 was very beneficial. 10:11 That regularity I found important because 10:14 there was a tendency to think 10:15 that when the children were little and I was at home with 10:17 them, you know, during the week and I 10:20 worked on the week ends when you were home with them 10:22 that I could just, you know, 10:23 let them get up when they wanted to 10:24 and let them kind of eat when they wanted to, 10:27 and those kind of thoughts, you know, 10:29 and I'd go here and I'd go there. Because it was a concept 10:32 that you're just an at home mom, 10:33 like you really didn't do anything if you're at home. 10:36 Well, we do a lot at home. 10:38 And I found that the blessing of the regularity 10:41 to make the dispositions of myself and my children 10:44 even happier by having that regularity in the home. 10:47 My children had a regular time 10:49 that they would come to the table 10:50 and we had a regular nap time and a regular play time. 10:54 And 10:55 I had to discipline myself 10:57 from not just following what ever I thought of to do 11:00 for the day whether that was to go to the park or go 11:03 recreational shopping or do this 11:04 or go to the girlfriend's house. 11:06 I started having some regularity in the day. 11:09 And I saw a tremendous difference 11:11 in our children. The security, the happiness, 11:13 the cooperativeness! - That's right! 11:15 Which made me 11:17 you know, I was more receptive for you to come home 11:19 because my day was already better 11:21 from just being home and having regularity. 11:24 That's right! 11:25 And it's the same 11:26 with the cleanliness and the order of the home. 11:29 You know, it was a blessing for me 11:31 when we began understanding how important it is. And again 11:35 if you look at successful businesses 11:38 whatever you look at that has success 11:40 there's always order. 11:42 There's cleanliness, there's that regularity. 11:46 And I know that coming home to our home 11:49 when things were taking care of 11:51 and it was restful 11:53 and peaceful 11:54 it's very different than a lot of the homes that we've been in 11:58 and a lot of the stories that we've heard 11:59 as we've talked with couples who are struggling. 12:03 This is one of the things 12:04 that creates 12:06 chaos in the home 12:07 and creates a 12:10 well, a dysfunctional (...?)..in the home. 12:13 I know, just you know, having a place for the scissors 12:17 and everybody puts the scissors back 12:18 and everybody knows where to find the scissors 12:20 It's the little things like that make a huge difference. 12:24 'Cause it can be very frustrating 12:25 if somebody 12:27 is asked to get the scissors 12:29 and they go to the place the scissors are supposed to be 12:32 and the scissors aren't there. 12:34 What does that do? 12:35 It creates the potential for 12:38 some frustration, some irritation. 12:40 They are the little things - Sharp words. 12:41 - That's right! 12:43 "No the scissors aren't here. " 12:44 "Oh, yes they are!" 12:45 "No!" 12:46 You know, and then you find out 12:47 somebody didn't put the scissors back where they go. 12:49 It's a simple example, but life is made up 12:51 of simple things 12:53 day by day. - That's right! 12:55 And I found that by having the home in order 12:58 and having a place for everything 13:00 has 13:01 brought an atmosphere of peace, 13:03 because we know where to find things. 13:05 And it removes the potential 13:08 for unnecessary eruptions in the home. 13:11 Unnecessary temptations to irritation, anger, frustration, 13:14 impatience, whatever, however one expresses themselves 13:18 in those kind of situations 13:20 that happen frequently when there's disorder in the home 13:24 So, 13:25 is it safe to say that it really doesn't take 13:28 much more time 13:30 and in reality less time 13:32 if I come up and put my coat where it goes 13:35 when I come home, 13:36 or put my shoes where they go 13:38 or any of those things 13:40 rather then just thrown it across the chair 13:42 or just kicking them off 13:44 in the room where I step in? 13:47 It actually takes less time 13:49 and creates a more restful atmosphere 13:51 if we keep it in order. 13:52 That's right! 13:54 And I really, you know, have been blessed 13:55 by my mother teaching me that in my home. 13:57 That's right! 13:59 I mean, I can remember as a child coming home 14:00 and loving to be there when I came home from school 14:03 because 14:04 it was inviting, it was clean, it was orderly. 14:07 I mean it wasn't spotless, I mean, 14:08 you know the walls weren't shiny 14:10 it was lived in home. 14:11 But there was order in the home. 14:13 And it was just such a blessing. 14:16 And that as a child to go to a home 14:19 that didn't have that 14:20 I found it very disruptive in my heart, you know, in my spirit 14:25 even as a child. So it affects not just husband and wife 14:28 it affects everybody in the home. 14:29 Well, one of the other things 14:30 that we felt was very important, 14:32 and I'm thankful that we set this as a priority, 14:34 is the respectful spirit in the home 14:38 with the helpful courtesy. 14:39 And that has made a huge difference. 14:42 Because when there's a helpfulness there 14:44 and when there's respect, 14:45 one of the things that we set in our family 14:48 when we had one of our 14:49 family councils talking about setting our priorities 14:51 is that we wanna have a respectful 14:54 atmosphere. Our children can come to us with anything. 14:57 My wife can come to me with anything and I 15:00 can go to her because we've agreed 15:02 that we will come respectfully 15:04 and we will listen and understand. 15:06 And it makes a very nice atmosphere. 15:10 Doesn't mean we always agree on everything 15:12 but we come in a respectful spirit 15:14 and we work through it in a respectful manner. 15:16 So really what we're saying is that in our home, 15:19 and I know we've done this many times, 15:21 we have our goal 15:23 and we have set priorities 15:24 but we reevaluate: are we meeting those goals 15:28 by these priorities? 15:29 And how are we doing in maintaining 15:32 these priorities in our life? 15:33 - That's right! - So we continue to 15:35 reevaluate. And as the needs in the home change 15:38 as the young people grow older 15:40 and the times are different, or their education 15:43 or the work situation changes, whatever it may be 15:46 we change with that. 15:49 But we reestablish those same things back in place, 15:52 maybe under new times. 15:54 Well we need to talk about 15:56 the third goal that we set 15:57 and how we then made the priorities to fit that goal. 16:00 But we need to take a break right now 16:02 and we hope you stay with us 16:04 as we continue talking about 16:06 how we set the priorities to have a marriage heart to heart. 16:14 There are many "How to?" books available, 16:17 but there's one that's free and perfect for every couple: 16:20 how you can "Build a Better Marriage". 16:23 Bible-based, matrimonial advice is given 16:25 in a lighthearted, easy-to-read manner, 16:27 for those contemplating marriage, 16:29 newlyweds, couples in their golden years, 16:32 and everyone in-between. 16:34 Simply call or write for your free copy of this 16:36 amazing little booklet, a handy little tool 16:38 to help build a better marriage. 16:46 Welcome back! As we were talking here about 16:49 not just forming the common goals 16:52 but how then we set the priorities to make sure 16:55 that we take time 16:57 to implement these goals. 16:59 Honey I think you wanna share 17:01 a few thoughts about some of the practical side of 17:04 how we can really implement some of these things. 17:07 Well, we wanna have a marriage that's heart to heart. 17:09 That means we have to have time for each other 17:11 That's right! 17:12 to communicate, to spend with each other 17:15 to do things together. 17:16 And so by 17:18 implementing these priorities in our lives, 17:20 setting these priorities and bringing them into reality 17:23 has helped to establish that time. 17:25 One of the things I remember doing in our home 17:28 at your suggestion 17:29 was using an answering machine, 17:31 when not, you know, those were the years before voicemail, 17:33 we when out and bought answering machine. 17:35 Because it seems that every time 17:36 you think you're gonna have time with each other 17:39 the telephone rings. 17:40 And we didn't do very good at just 17:42 letting it ring, did we? - Well we're like 17:43 everybody else. If the phone rings, you get up and answer it 17:46 I mean that's like you know just a responsive. 17:48 It's a human response. - You know to that 17:50 signal you know, like conditioning. 17:52 That's right! 17:53 And having that little 17:56 answering machine there at first, 17:57 you know, we could screen the calls 17:59 or we can just turn it down and get back to somebody later. 18:02 And so, that really helped us, 18:04 I mean now we have voicemail but that was one 18:06 thing we did to carve out that time 18:08 to help us to have 18:09 a marriage heart to heart 18:10 in a practical priority that we did in our home. 18:13 That's right! 18:14 We did actually a lot of things. 18:17 You know, one of the best decisions that 18:19 we made 18:20 before we were married 18:22 was no TV. 18:23 That's right! 18:24 Have you ever regretted that? 18:26 I have never regretted! I have praised you many times 18:28 for your willingness to 18:30 to lead out on that. 18:31 You know, and we asked our children 18:36 you know, how they felt about, 18:37 you know, lots of other people have TVs 18:40 and all of our children have told us 18:42 many times 18:44 "We don't know how people have time 18:48 for watching TV!" 18:49 "It seems like some families" they've said 18:51 "just spend hours watching the television. " 18:54 And 18:55 the blessing in our home is 18:56 that we've taken many of those hours 18:58 that could've been spent there 19:00 and we've used them to make our home a happy place. 19:04 We've used them to bike together, 19:06 to take walks together. 19:08 I mean when is the last time that you 19:10 just took one of your children out for a walk 19:13 all by themselves? 19:15 And the only desire that you had 19:16 was just to let them know how much you care for them 19:20 and find out how their life is? 19:21 This is something we do regularly and have for years. 19:24 And to take you for walks, we do it daily. 19:27 Yes. 19:28 And we wouldn't really take that time 19:31 if we were 19:33 glue to a TV 19:34 or all the other things that 19:36 often take up communication time. 19:38 It's interesting that 19:39 the television is a counterfeit to real life. 19:42 Real is being with each other and doing things together 19:45 and communicating. 19:46 And a television puts you into a false atmosphere 19:50 a counterfeit. 19:52 And people begin to think that's real life. 19:54 Yes! 19:55 That's not real life at all! That's Hollywood! 19:57 Real life is living with each other in our home, 20:00 together, being happy 20:01 and spending that time together as husband and wife 20:04 spending that with our family 20:05 through the years with our young people. 20:07 We've done so many things together 20:10 that 20:11 they have thanked us for many times. 20:12 And we have a great relationship with all of them. 20:16 And it's a blessing. One of the other things is 20:17 we got rid of our 20:19 recreational shopping. 20:21 Yes! I did! 20:22 - That was more your thing. - Yes it was more my thing. 20:24 It took a lot of time! 20:26 - It did! It really did! - Not to mention that 20:27 few extra dollars. 20:28 Yes! Well, I just, 20:29 in case I saw anything that I thought we could use 20:31 you know? 20:32 'Course I would've make sure it was on a bargain 20:33 try to be economical about it. 20:35 But even if we didn't need it right? 20:37 Right dear. 20:39 But the other thing, I quit that recreational shopping 20:43 because I wanted more time with you. 20:44 Yes! 20:46 And you wanted me to have more time with the children. 20:47 That meant that I wasn't out there making an income, 20:50 I was being devoted and dedicated to razing our family. 20:53 Yes! 20:54 And to keep you from having to work extra hours 20:57 then I needed to change how I spent the money 20:59 or at least part of that money. 21:02 And I have to be honest too, 21:03 because 21:04 I had to give up some of my 21:06 extra curricular sports activities. 21:09 I know I was the team Chaplin 21:11 and they said they really needed me but 21:12 I realized that I had so many things going on 21:15 and I did, our lives were so busy doing good things! 21:19 Not bad things! 21:21 Our lives were full of good things! 21:23 And we came to realize that if 21:25 we don't make some decisions about 21:27 all the good things 21:29 for the best things in life, 21:31 the best things are gonna get crowded out. 21:34 And as we said earlier, 21:36 one of the best things that gets crowded out of 21:37 a busy life style 21:39 is real time, to make a vital connection with Jesus Christ. 21:43 And so, also for the happy home. 21:46 We saw the time was being crowded out and so 21:49 I made, what for me were some hard decisions, 21:52 and cut out a lot of those extra sport activities and 21:55 reinvested that time into you and our children. 21:58 And I've never regretted that investment! 22:01 And neither have we. 22:04 Well, should we talk about the third area? 22:06 Yes! 22:07 Ok. 22:08 Parenting in agreement 22:11 You know, as part of having a happy home 22:13 we found that parenting in agreement is vital. 22:16 Romans 15:5 22:18 talks about being like minded. 22:21 We wanna create an atmosphere 22:23 where the children don't feel like if 22:27 they "can't get from dad 22:29 maybe I can work mom. " 22:31 Right? - That's right! 22:32 And that happens a lot. I mean 22:34 children are normal. I did the same thing you know, 22:37 if my dad said no, well of course I'd go to my mother. 22:40 But I'm thankful that she was very wise. 22:44 "What did your father say?" 22:46 If I went to my father, because mother said no: 22:48 "What did your mother say?" 22:50 This is a real key to happiness in the home 22:53 and for a good happy marriage. 22:54 Because children, 22:55 they're not intentionally trying to work 22:57 mother and father apart 22:59 but it happens, shall we say 23:00 somehow innocently, 23:01 because they're just focused on their selfish wants. 23:04 What they want. 23:05 - That's right! - Yes! 23:06 So, that's been a blessing. 23:08 And the way that we've come to gain that blessing 23:12 in part of our quiet time, 23:13 we began studying the principles of God's Word 23:16 for how we could parent in agreement 23:19 made a huge difference. 23:21 You know, when I look back at my early experience 23:25 I was out the door with a quick prayer 23:27 and maybe, you know, a quick devotional reading 23:30 I was not taking time 23:33 to really know God's Plan 23:35 as a parent, 23:36 as a husband. 23:38 And so as we began taking time 23:39 and studying the principles of godly parenting 23:43 and working with our children 23:44 what a difference it made in our experience! 23:47 I remember the main area that really helped us 23:52 was sometimes I would feel a caution about something 23:56 something concerning the children and you would say: 23:58 "Well, what's the problem with it?" 24:01 Ok? "What's the problem with it?" Right? 24:02 This is where a lot of husbands and wives 24:04 start to get into problems. 24:06 Because I can't tell you what the problem is. 24:09 I just don't feel right about it. 24:11 Yes! 24:12 But you want me to give you a reason 24:13 and if my reason is good 24:15 then you, and when you accept that reason 24:17 then we can agree. 24:18 Yes! 24:19 But we have found that 24:21 sometimes those cautions as we've termed them 24:24 we don't always have a reason that we 24:26 can identify at that moment. 24:29 And so, our agreement has been: if you have a caution 24:32 or if I have a caution about something 24:34 we don't move forward to say: "Yes!" 24:37 until that caution is removed. 24:39 That's right! 24:40 You know, it's the Lord Jesus 24:41 who sends us those cautions, it's not the Devil. 24:43 He's not gonna caution us 24:44 - That's right. - and say: "Hey watch out 24:46 because just around the corner, 24:47 I've got something that's gonna trip you up, 24:49 or trip your young people up. " 24:50 He's trying to unties us 24:52 and to unties them. 24:54 And so, 24:55 these cautions and that agreement 24:57 has been a real blessing. I remember 24:59 one particular time when this was 25:02 brought home in a very practical way. 25:05 Yes! 25:06 Our young people wanted to go on a hike 25:07 with some other youth 25:09 from the church group 25:10 - I remember. 25:11 And they came and then what they did? 25:13 They asked us if they could go. 25:15 And that right there, we should say: "Parents 25:18 that is a big plus in today's society because 25:22 they asked!" 25:23 They've showed you something about the level of respect 25:25 and the happiness at the home and the desire to 25:28 to work together as a family. 25:29 They asked. Not they you just run off with their friends 25:32 and they're gone. 25:34 And, I don't remember what you've said, but I said: 25:38 "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it. 25:40 I just have this caution. " 25:42 And we've learned 25:43 over much experience 25:45 and in raising our young people and working together 25:48 in a marriage heart to heart, 25:51 that those cautions have always 25:53 brought us to the right answer. 25:54 That's right! 25:55 And so, there was no debate. 25:57 And we 25:58 we expressed to the young people 26:00 that we did not want them to go on this hike. 26:03 And they accepted it. And that was beautiful. 26:06 Which, that's another area that many parents 26:08 because they're not parenting in agreement, 26:10 because there's confusion, 26:11 the young people rebel, they don't wanna agree with it. 26:15 But they accepted it 26:17 and the beauty of it, before the day was over 26:19 our young people got to see the fruit 26:22 of some of what happened 26:23 with that other group of young people. 26:25 And they were thankful they were not involved in that. 26:28 - And - And you were too. 26:29 we were thankful. And also 26:31 the Lord opened a beautiful opportunity 26:32 with some other young people 26:34 that ended up not going on that hike, 26:36 and they were able to sit down together 26:38 with their instruments and play music. 26:40 They had a beautiful afternoon together. 26:42 And it turned out better than if they have gone on the hike. 26:45 That's right! 26:47 And so, now we need to bring the personal challenge 26:49 to our viewers. 26:51 You need the goals! But you need more than the goals! 26:55 You need to set these priorities and then 26:58 carry through, make the time to carry them through. 27:01 And then evaluate how you're doing. And most of all: 27:03 Don't give up! Persevere! 27:05 And let's ask God to bless us as we set these priorities 27:09 Father in Heaven we thank you for the opportunity 27:11 to set priorities 27:12 that are based on your principles. 27:14 And we need Your Grace, Your Wisdom and Your Power 27:17 to accomplish them. 27:18 And we thank You in Jesus name, Amen! 27:22 Well, we look forward to seeing you next time 27:25 as we're going to be talking about 27:26 Affective Communication. 27:28 And we're excited about this because 27:30 we're gonna be talking about it 27:31 in four of our programs 27:33 because communication is vitally important. 27:36 If we wanna have a marriage heart to heart 27:38 we need communication 27:40 that's going to make the difference 27:42 for eternity. |
Revised 2014-12-17