A promise
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to love
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in good times
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and bad
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for richer
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or poorer
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forsaking all others
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as long as
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you both shall live
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MARRIAGE In God's Hands
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Marriage Heart to
Heart with Tom & Alane Waters
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Welcome to
Marriage Heart to Heart
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We are Tom & Alane Waters
with Restoration International
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And we're looking forward to our
time together with you today,
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as we talk about more principles
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in a Marriage Heart to Heart!
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So if you have your
pencil and paper ready
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we're gonna be
discussing Prayers of Love
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those five important
aspects in our prayers that
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can make our marriage:
loving and heart to heart!
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You know, one of the
difficult things is that
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many Christians, I'm
not talking about the world,
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I'm talking about Christians,
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don't use the greatest resource
that we have available to us.
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And that's prayer.
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Prayer's the key that unlocks
the Store House of Heaven.
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And yet, many
times, and I know for us
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that there was a
time in our lives
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that we weren't really praying
prayers of love for each other.
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We were praying for
lots of other things
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for lots of other people.
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But we have the opportunity and
the privilege of praying prayers
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that can really make a
difference in our marriage.
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I know Honey! There's been times
when we have found ourselves
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not really praying
when we needed to pray.
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Because things have come up
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and we're trying to
handle them without prayer.
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And we don't go to the
Source of strength and power
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-That's right!
-to find the answer.
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And sometimes
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you know, there
are many people that
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will begin praying
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but sometimes those prayers
are self centered prayers.
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And we had some of that
in our experience where:
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"Ok! I know I need to pray!"
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"So, I'm gonna pray that
God can start changing you!"
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Yes! I understand!
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Ok? Because if I can
Get God to change you,
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then I'm gonna feel better
and life it's gonna work better
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and it will take the ripples
out of our problems. Right?
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Well, it seems that way! I know
we've probably both done that,
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more than a few times
early on in our marriage.
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That's right! And I'm thankful
that we can say early on.
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You know, we've been very
vulnerable with you folks,
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as we've shared our weaknesses
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and we've shared some of
the difficulties we faced, but
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the Lord has
blessed us, truly blessed us
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as we have come to Him.
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And as we've been
vulnerable with Him,
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than we have a
marriage that's heart to heart.
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It's been a long time since
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we've doubt with a
lot of these things.
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And I'm thankful for that!
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And prayer has been a
very major part of that.
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It has been one of
those things that's helped
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to keep us together because
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when we've had differences
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and I've always appreciated
your leadership in this,
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when we've had differences
that you've come back and say:
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"Honey I think we
really need to pray!"
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-Amen! -And make
sure that our hearts
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are right with each other.
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That's that forgiveness,
confession and repentance
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and forgiveness and then
that prayer time together
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and then going forward
new from that point on.
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That's right!
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So prayers made a huge
difference in our experience.
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What about women? You've
told me about women that you
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know personally,
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that are in this
self centered focus,
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and that they're so desirous of
getting their husband to change
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that what's
happening in the women??
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Well, I think
the desire is there,
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the real desire
to see their spouse
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maybe become a Christian.
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To accept the Lord Jesus,
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but their prayers while
they're good for their husbands,
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they're not correspondingly
living their lives to help
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answer those prayers.
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And so they find themselves
or in their relationship
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with their
husband they're critical
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they're demeaning
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they're controlling
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and so, you know,
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we've experienced it
being with some of these people
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and sometimes
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the husband is more of
a Christian than the wife.
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So when we talk about
praying prayers for our spouse
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which we should do,
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and we're gonna be talking
about that a little later today,
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But as we talk about
those prayers that we wanna pray
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we need to make sure
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that we are
answering as much as possible
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our side of that equation,
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that we can
demonstrate to our spouse
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the loveliness of Jesus,
that they would want that
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that desire would be something
that they would wanna have too.
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That's right!
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I remember one evening,
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we'd actually had a
beautiful day together
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it was coming to the
close of the day and,
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I was sharing with you
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something that I
had been praying about
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and
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I was fully expecting
that as I shared it with you
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you were going to just see
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my way. I didn't think
there was gonna be any ruffles.
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But you, you know
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as you remember
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you didn't see it my way.
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And it turned our, what
shall I say, beautiful day
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in to a little bit of a
problem at the end of the day.
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And I remember
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trying to get you
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to see my perspective.
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And I couldn't
get you to see it!
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And I got frustrated.
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And I finally, because
even at this point I knew
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that to just keep pushing
wasn't going to be the answer.
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And so, as you
probably remember I decided to
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leave the room and just go have
a little quiet time with the
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Lord. Which is the right answer.
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And those of you that
are facing difficulties
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this is the right answer!
Now I wasn't quite in the right
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spirit when I was doing this
but this is the right answer!
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Rather than trying to
fight it out or you know just
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force you to see it my way.
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Because we don't always see
everything like one another.
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We see things differently
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we see them from
different personalities
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and perspectives. -That's right!
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And I just was
caught on this thing and
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I went to the Lord
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I went there
with the right motive.
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I knew I needed to deal with
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my own heart and let
God deal with my heart.
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But you know, I really wanted
you to understand me in this
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thing. And I really wanted
you to agree with me in this.
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And so I got down on my knees
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with the Lord and I
was telling Him my problem.
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And I found myself,
and I didn't really realize
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I was doing this at the
time but I found myself trying
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to get the Lord on my side!
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I know! I've
done that a few times.
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I tried to get
the Lord on my side:
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"Lord don't You see this??"
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I mean: "My wife
needs to see this!"
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Right?
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"Right Lord??"
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And there I found myself,
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on my knees, trying
to convince the Lord
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that He needed to be on my side!
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But you know what the Lord
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was finally able
to get through to me?
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Was: the Lord wasn't
agreeing with me either.
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I'm happy to be
able to say that!
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I mean it didn't feel good
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in the moment
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but the Lord convinced me
while I was there on my knees
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that what I needed
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was His rest in my soul.
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What I needed
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was to quite
trying to push my way
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and to give myself to the Lord.
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And then
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not only could I be in
agreement with the Lord
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but then I could move
back into agreement with you.
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And if you remember, I
came back into the room
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a changed person.
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And I believe that's that
Miracle Working Power of God
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we've seen it
over and over again
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that if we will
choose to cooperate with Him
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He will change us and
He can change our prayers.
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That's right! And
so, the first thing,
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the key important part is
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not necessarily to
pray for the other person
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but to start
praying for ourselves.
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Pray for ourselves our needs!
"Lord, make me different!"
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"Change me! Make
me a better wife!"
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"Make me more
responsive to my husband."
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"Make me more sensitive!
Make me more understanding."
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And ask God to
change my heart first.
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That's where prayers
of love need to begin!
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And we called it in
our home, you've termed it
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Gospel Order.
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That's right!
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For me it's
become very important
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to pray in Gospel Order.
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Let me just share with you for
a moment what I mean by that.
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I used to feel
like it was selfishness
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if I started
praying for myself first,
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you know, it's kind of
self centered isn't it?
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I've come to recognize, we can
pray self centered prayers like
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I was sharing a few moments ago
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but we need to be
praying for our own needs first!
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I have found that in
Gospel Order that means:
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My heart to my Heavenly Father!
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What happens
between my soul and God
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is what prepares me
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when I have my quiet
time in the morning as
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I come to the
Lord as I open His Word
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it's what prepares me
than to have the right kind of
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connection to my wife,
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to my children
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and then on out to the people
I work with, the people I meet.
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And so, praying in
Gospel Order includes
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our Sure
Foundation, the Word of God
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which we talked about earlier.
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It means praying for me.
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"Lord create in
me a new clean heart.
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Renew a right spirit within me.
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Take out this stony heart and
give me a heart of tender flesh"
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You know, these
are Biblical prayers
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these are prayers, not that
we have to pray Bible prayers
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all the way
through our prayers but
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I found I need this
new heart experience.
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And if God is giving me
that and I'm receiving that
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it then prepares me to move
on and begin to pray for you.
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I really am encouraged
when we go back to the Bible
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and we read the
different prayers
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by the different individuals
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in the situations
that they were facing.
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It doesn't matter how bad they
were, what they messed up on
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they're prayers
where heart felt.
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-That's right! - And
we saw a change happen
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after those
prayers have been given.
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And so, we first
pray for ourselves
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and our personal need,
my heart right with God
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and the second thing the
Lord has put in my heart is
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to pray prayers of thankfulness.
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That's been
very important to me,
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because I always haven't been
as thankful as I need to be.
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Especially for you.
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And early on in our marriage
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I started to focus
too much on the negative
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and I needed to learn
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how to be thankful
and look at the positive.
00:10:19.79\00:10:21.97
So, daily in my prayers
is a prayer of thankfulness.
00:10:22.57\00:10:25.15
And I wanna encourage
you today that if you start
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thanking the
Lord for your husband
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if when you're
having your prayer time
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you thank Him for the
things He's blessed you with
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through your husband
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you will start
viewing your husband
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at the beginning of the day
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in a totally different light.
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And that's what I
have really enjoyed
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about praying
prayers of thankfulness.
00:10:45.27\00:10:46.96
In fact, now my
prayers of thankfulness
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even start earlier in
the day. I use to wait till
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I was out of bad and you
know gotten around a little bit
00:10:51.79\00:10:54.29
before I had my
usual prayer time.
00:10:54.32\00:10:55.96
And now they start
before I even get out of bed.
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'Cause every morning we
have our cotel(?????) time.
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Every morning. Every morning.
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I even set the alarm,
or we will set the alarm
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a little earlier just to make
sure we have that time there.
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And when we have
that cotel (??????)time
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I lay my head on your shoulder
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and that's when I begin
to thank the Lord for you.
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And those
prayers of thankfulness
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have really helped me
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to develop my love more for you.
00:11:19.22\00:11:21.07
And those
prayers of thankfulness
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have reflected back on me.
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And I am thankful for you!
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Not just as a result
of your prayers for me,
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but those prayers
have reflected back on me.
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I experience your
thankfulness and as you know
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and as I share
with you very often
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my thankfulness for having the
special woman that God gave me.
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I've always felt that God
gave you to me as a special gift
00:11:44.95\00:11:48.77
the woman of my dreams.
00:11:49.43\00:11:51.28
You know you're the most
00:11:52.84\00:11:53.81
important person
on the Earth to me.
00:11:53.82\00:11:55.38
And that means
something to you, doesn't it?
00:11:56.19\00:11:57.70
-Oh yes! Everything.
-It is superiority in that.
00:11:58.18\00:11:59.80
It is.
00:11:59.83\00:12:00.80
And that doesn't
happen by accident.
00:12:00.81\00:12:02.30
Some of that has come
from these prayers of love.
00:12:02.85\00:12:07.65
You know, I was
thanking of the Apostle Paul
00:12:08.06\00:12:10.06
He says in Ephesians the
first chapter in the 16th verse:
00:12:10.77\00:12:14.95
And I'll put in
in the first person:
00:12:15.90\00:12:17.31
"I cease not to
give thanks for you,
00:12:17.34\00:12:20.03
making mention of
you in my prayers."
00:12:20.57\00:12:23.36
We certainly are doing that.
00:12:24.28\00:12:25.58
And these are prayers of love.
00:12:25.61\00:12:28.48
The third part
of prayers of love,
00:12:30.62\00:12:32.71
that the Lord
has put in my heart
00:12:32.74\00:12:34.33
that I pray
00:12:34.36\00:12:35.33
is that if I, if you and I
don't see things eye to eye
00:12:35.68\00:12:40.35
then if I'm wrong the
Lord will change my heart
00:12:40.87\00:12:44.16
and if you're wrong the
Lord will change your heart.
00:12:44.64\00:12:46.70
That takes responsibility
off of me to change you
00:12:46.73\00:12:49.61
or the responsibility
from you to try to change me.
00:12:49.64\00:12:52.22
That's right!
00:12:52.25\00:12:53.22
And then something,
several years ago, in fact
00:12:53.23\00:12:55.12
it's been quite
a few years ago now
00:12:55.15\00:12:56.44
that we started
doing in our prayer time,
00:12:56.47\00:12:58.51
which is what we
call prayers of love.
00:12:58.54\00:13:00.34
Lord who ever is wrong change
our heart and if it's not us
00:13:00.83\00:13:04.70
then You change the
other person's heart.
00:13:04.73\00:13:07.10
That's right!
00:13:07.13\00:13:08.10
I remember not too long
00:13:08.11\00:13:09.65
after I started
praying these kind of prayers
00:13:09.68\00:13:11.79
we had that tested, didn't we?
00:13:11.82\00:13:14.17
We sure did!
00:13:14.46\00:13:15.70
It was a nice backpacking
outing that we were on,
00:13:17.00\00:13:20.37
and we were
00:13:21.02\00:13:22.08
hiking up into the
mountains and I was thinking
00:13:22.49\00:13:25.24
ahead of all the
things that had to be done
00:13:25.27\00:13:27.48
and all the
schedules and responsibilities
00:13:27.51\00:13:30.03
we had to meet. And
I was thinking about
00:13:30.06\00:13:31.56
an engagement we
had six weeks away
00:13:31.59\00:13:34.33
as we were hiking this trail
00:13:34.36\00:13:35.96
of things that we
were gonna be doing
00:13:36.41\00:13:38.27
six weeks from now.
00:13:38.30\00:13:39.27
You know how your mind goes on.
00:13:39.28\00:13:40.72
That's right!
00:13:40.75\00:13:41.72
And so, as I was thinking about
that I was recognizing that
00:13:42.00\00:13:45.70
we were gonna be asked to
be involved in an activity
00:13:45.73\00:13:49.10
with our family
00:13:49.13\00:13:50.10
that I wasn't
comfortable being involved in.
00:13:50.32\00:13:52.16
-And I wanted -We
had to be there because
00:13:53.54\00:13:55.27
we were conducting the seminar.
00:13:55.30\00:13:57.10
That's right!
00:13:57.13\00:13:58.10
And I wanted to
talk to you about that
00:13:58.34\00:14:00.03
and share with you my
feelings and my concerns
00:14:00.06\00:14:02.34
about that.
00:14:02.37\00:14:03.34
Well, it was a
perfect setting to do it in.
00:14:03.79\00:14:05.74
I mean we don't have
a phone, we're out here
00:14:05.77\00:14:07.78
just enjoy family time together,
00:14:07.81\00:14:09.74
way out in the
middle of the mountains.
00:14:09.77\00:14:11.01
And I can remember,
you know, bringing it up:
00:14:11.46\00:14:14.26
"You know, in a few weeks we're
gonna over here at this place
00:14:14.29\00:14:17.17
and
00:14:17.20\00:14:18.17
one of the
activities we are gonna do honey
00:14:19.31\00:14:20.90
I'm not comfortable with."
00:14:20.93\00:14:22.20
I remember that.
00:14:23.33\00:14:24.30
And do you
remember what else happened?
00:14:25.23\00:14:26.76
Well, I remember that
00:14:27.53\00:14:28.85
we weren't seeing eye
to eye on the situation.
00:14:29.50\00:14:31.46
Not at all!
00:14:31.49\00:14:32.47
And I was feeling
quite a bit of pressure.
00:14:33.57\00:14:35.14
Because it's one thing to
00:14:35.17\00:14:37.15
you know be
involved and be there
00:14:37.74\00:14:39.94
for the seminar
00:14:40.76\00:14:41.73
and just blend
in with the people
00:14:41.99\00:14:43.54
it's another thing when you're
involved in the leadership
00:14:43.57\00:14:48.35
of the seminar,
00:14:48.38\00:14:49.35
conducting the seminar.
00:14:49.64\00:14:50.65
And now, if we're not
gonna participate in this thing
00:14:51.09\00:14:53.25
what are people gonna say?
00:14:53.71\00:14:56.12
-What's it gonna look
like? -It's not gonna look good
00:14:56.15\00:14:57.45
-Has it? -No! And
00:14:57.48\00:14:59.14
I mean not that
we can be motivated
00:14:59.17\00:15:01.16
by just what people think,
00:15:01.58\00:15:02.98
but there is an influence,
00:15:03.01\00:15:05.04
and we have to be,
careful that we don't use
00:15:05.07\00:15:07.14
that influence
improperly one way or the other.
00:15:07.17\00:15:10.56
Well we didn't agree on that.
00:15:12.17\00:15:13.82
And
00:15:14.93\00:15:15.90
we have made an agreement
in our home that we won't
00:15:16.11\00:15:18.93
try to force the other one to
00:15:18.96\00:15:20.71
agree with us! -That's right!
00:15:20.74\00:15:22.20
Which we're gonna
be talking about later
00:15:22.23\00:15:23.94
in these series,
about communication.
00:15:24.38\00:15:26.52
We're gonna be talking
about that point particularly.
00:15:26.55\00:15:28.39
But, I gave you my perspective
00:15:29.15\00:15:32.59
you shared with
me your perspective
00:15:32.62\00:15:34.40
and I sensed that your
perspective might be more
00:15:34.43\00:15:37.16
prone to
pressure from other people
00:15:37.60\00:15:41.22
or pure pressure if
that's the word that we can use.
00:15:41.25\00:15:43.03
Certainly in
that situation it was.
00:15:43.06\00:15:44.05
But I had to leave it alone.
00:15:44.54\00:15:45.68
I had to pray that
prayer of love and I said:
00:15:45.71\00:15:47.54
"Lord if I'm right
00:15:47.57\00:15:49.52
change my husband.
And Lord if I'm wrong I
00:15:49.92\00:15:52.18
wanna know that I'm wrong!
00:15:52.21\00:15:53.25
I wanna know that I can
stand by aside and participate
00:15:53.60\00:15:56.50
in that activity, and
I have any inhibitions."
00:15:56.53\00:15:59.10
That's right!
00:15:59.59\00:16:00.56
And now we're there.
00:16:01.32\00:16:02.29
And I still
don't have an answer.
00:16:02.92\00:16:04.65
And we need to take a break
00:16:05.22\00:16:06.67
so stay with us to find out
00:16:06.70\00:16:08.30
what happens next!
00:16:08.33\00:16:10.29
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tool to help build a better
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marriage. Welcome back!
Well it had been six weeks
00:16:48.45\00:16:50.75
and that was 11 o'clock at night
00:16:50.78\00:16:52.71
the next day
was soon to be here.
00:16:53.19\00:16:55.78
And I thought my
husband was fast asleep and I
00:16:56.01\00:16:58.58
was still praying,
'cause I didn't have an answer.
00:16:58.61\00:17:01.16
Well, I wasn't asleep.
00:17:02.32\00:17:04.29
And the Lord was
working on my heart.
00:17:05.22\00:17:07.69
You know, sometimes
it seems that the Lord is
00:17:08.29\00:17:10.96
seldom early
but He's never late!
00:17:10.99\00:17:13.27
And here we are,
00:17:14.27\00:17:16.02
we're at the seminar, tomorrow
is when this is going to happen.
00:17:16.49\00:17:20.05
And the Lord just
brought it forcibly and clearly
00:17:20.52\00:17:23.86
to my mind what I needed to do.
00:17:23.89\00:17:26.11
And so,
00:17:26.65\00:17:27.62
you got your answer.
00:17:28.91\00:17:30.14
And it wasn't you
that God needed to change
00:17:30.83\00:17:33.48
in that situation.
00:17:33.51\00:17:34.48
It was me!
00:17:34.84\00:17:35.81
And I wasn't being stubborn!
00:17:36.03\00:17:37.25
I just didn't see it
clearly until that night
00:17:37.65\00:17:40.15
as the Lord just
brought it forcibly to my mind.
00:17:40.18\00:17:43.27
And your prayers
00:17:44.10\00:17:45.30
were really prayers of love.
00:17:45.98\00:17:47.48
They are prayers of love!
00:17:48.74\00:17:49.88
And it's interesting
how God solved that problem.
00:17:50.60\00:17:53.61
I didn't have to be right
and you didn't have to be right!
00:17:53.64\00:17:56.16
God wanted it to
work out the right way!
00:17:56.19\00:17:57.89
And that's what those
prayers of love are meant to be.
00:17:58.26\00:18:00.49
And it was
interesting the next day
00:18:00.81\00:18:02.33
you and I didn't have to say
anything about that activity.
00:18:02.73\00:18:05.06
Do you remember?
00:18:05.09\00:18:06.06
-Oh yes! -Somebody
else came and said:
00:18:06.07\00:18:07.51
"Well, we're not comfortable
the way this is done.
00:18:07.54\00:18:09.60
and we would like to
suggest something different."
00:18:09.63\00:18:11.53
And we had total
peace, total unity
00:18:11.95\00:18:14.38
and harmony in our home.
00:18:14.41\00:18:15.70
And so, those prayers of love
00:18:16.09\00:18:17.36
were really a blessing to us.
00:18:18.14\00:18:19.39
Even though we didn't have
to meet that task the next day.
00:18:19.42\00:18:23.20
So, let's talk about the
fourth pray of love that we
00:18:24.76\00:18:27.47
can offer.
00:18:27.50\00:18:28.69
And this one
it's maybe more for me
00:18:29.19\00:18:31.25
than something you would want
00:18:31.28\00:18:32.64
to pray, but this has been
important in my prayer life.
00:18:32.67\00:18:35.23
Sometimes I feel a need
00:18:35.67\00:18:37.69
and I can't trust that the
needs I feel are really needs
00:18:37.95\00:18:41.73
or wants.
00:18:41.76\00:18:42.73
And so, I'll ask God:
"Lord if this is a need
00:18:42.74\00:18:44.96
a real need that
I have in my life
00:18:44.99\00:18:46.97
that you would put that
desire in my husband's heart
00:18:47.40\00:18:50.06
to fulfill that need."
00:18:50.09\00:18:51.09
And as I've been
willing to do that
00:18:52.11\00:18:54.46
it's interesting, I
remember praying that prayer
00:18:54.49\00:18:56.69
one morning
00:18:56.72\00:18:57.69
as I was standing upstairs
in the kitchen and I said:
00:18:57.83\00:19:00.20
"Lord I just feel like I need
to have a hug from my husband"
00:19:00.23\00:19:03.71
Not that you don't
give me lots of hugs
00:19:04.03\00:19:05.47
but you know, I don't
know, from whatever reason
00:19:05.50\00:19:07.87
I was feeling that need.
00:19:07.90\00:19:09.13
And I said: "Lord if this
is a need that's real in me
00:19:09.16\00:19:11.85
or if it's just a
want, but if it's a need
00:19:11.88\00:19:14.11
put that in his heart!"
00:19:14.14\00:19:15.27
And just a few minutes later
00:19:16.23\00:19:18.10
you come walking
upstairs and came over to me
00:19:18.13\00:19:21.10
and gave me a hug and a kiss
00:19:21.13\00:19:22.95
and you just told me
how much you appreciated me.
00:19:22.98\00:19:25.04
And that was just like
00:19:25.49\00:19:27.34
an immediate answer to prayer.
00:19:27.82\00:19:29.63
You know, that's
exciting to me and I hope to the
00:19:30.00\00:19:32.10
viewing audience.
00:19:32.13\00:19:33.36
This is the God that we serve.
00:19:33.78\00:19:35.62
Not just that we serve.
00:19:36.02\00:19:38.09
But this is the God that
wants to reach into our hearts.
00:19:38.40\00:19:41.64
And He wants to
answer simple prayers.
00:19:42.39\00:19:45.88
He loves us!
00:19:45.91\00:19:47.21
And He wants to
build the love between us.
00:19:47.70\00:19:50.31
Well, we need to talk
about the fifth prayer of love.
00:19:52.26\00:19:55.63
That's right! The fifth area
00:19:55.99\00:19:57.69
is a very special area to us!
00:19:57.72\00:20:00.09
Now, we've always
had family worship
00:20:00.60\00:20:03.51
and prayed
together in the family but
00:20:03.54\00:20:06.49
one of the special
things that we've been doing,
00:20:07.22\00:20:09.47
for quite some time now,
00:20:09.50\00:20:11.00
is the prayer that
you and I have together,
00:20:11.49\00:20:13.92
in the evening,
before we go to bed
00:20:13.95\00:20:15.87
to close the day.
00:20:16.28\00:20:17.49
And I tell you
friends, this is something very
00:20:17.52\00:20:20.79
powerful and beautiful.
00:20:20.82\00:20:22.24
In fact, our
oldest daughter came to us
00:20:22.90\00:20:26.39
just recently
00:20:26.42\00:20:28.88
she came to us and she told us:
00:20:28.91\00:20:30.90
"You know,
sometimes I hear you praying
00:20:31.43\00:20:35.37
in the evening." Because we pray
00:20:35.40\00:20:36.68
out loud together.
00:20:36.71\00:20:37.76
And she said: "It
means so much to me
00:20:38.24\00:20:41.61
to hear how you pray together
00:20:42.04\00:20:45.05
and what you pray for
00:20:45.52\00:20:46.97
and to see how God is
answering those prayers."
00:20:47.00\00:20:49.62
So, it touched her
heart. We didn't even realize
00:20:49.65\00:20:52.01
but it hasn't
that been meaningful to
00:20:52.34\00:20:54.02
us to have that
special time to pray?
00:20:54.05\00:20:56.23
It has been.
00:20:56.74\00:20:57.71
And that's something that
you brought to me and you said:
00:20:57.72\00:21:00.55
"You know, we pray in
the morning in family worship
00:21:00.58\00:21:03.57
in the evening in family worship
00:21:03.60\00:21:04.94
we thank the Lord
for our food every day."
00:21:04.97\00:21:07.21
There was our own
private personal prayers.
00:21:07.24\00:21:09.54
Yes, we have our
private prayers and
00:21:09.57\00:21:11.29
and yet the burn that
you had was just a special
00:21:11.73\00:21:14.09
prayer time.
00:21:14.12\00:21:15.09
The last thing we would
do before we would go to bed.
00:21:15.10\00:21:16.98
That's right!
00:21:17.01\00:21:17.98
And it's
interesting as, you know, you
00:21:18.12\00:21:20.40
brought up Alice
and bringing that to us,
00:21:20.43\00:21:22.32
the influence that
that has in the home
00:21:22.96\00:21:25.04
it is such a positive
influence for our young people
00:21:25.57\00:21:29.04
to know that we
are praying for them.
00:21:29.07\00:21:30.63
-Amen! -That we care for them.
00:21:30.66\00:21:31.77
And we're bringing their
challenges and their trials
00:21:31.80\00:21:35.36
and their joys before the Lord.
00:21:35.39\00:21:37.06
And that we're
asking God to give us wisdom
00:21:37.33\00:21:39.91
to guide and direct them
00:21:39.94\00:21:41.40
as they work
their way through life.
00:21:41.43\00:21:43.57
And, you know,
to hear her express
00:21:44.02\00:21:45.79
you know, "I'm laying
awake in there and I can
00:21:45.82\00:21:47.70
hear you guys praying."
00:21:47.73\00:21:49.00
I didn't even realize
that she was doing that.
00:21:50.40\00:21:52.26
But it made it more meaningful
to me. And I hope that as
00:21:52.29\00:21:55.90
we talk about
this prayers of love
00:21:55.93\00:21:57.98
that it goes
beyond just our marriage,
00:21:58.51\00:22:00.36
it will have an
influence on other people,
00:22:00.39\00:22:02.68
first those in our
own home, our children,
00:22:02.71\00:22:05.32
maybe we're caring
for an elderly parent
00:22:05.35\00:22:07.43
it will have a
positive influence on them.
00:22:07.46\00:22:09.94
Then to those around
us in our community or in
00:22:09.97\00:22:12.44
our church or in our work
00:22:12.47\00:22:13.93
our prayers of love
will bare an influence.
00:22:13.96\00:22:17.54
Because they will be changing us
00:22:17.57\00:22:19.37
and we will be more like Christ
00:22:19.40\00:22:21.19
and that will always
bare an influence for good.
00:22:21.22\00:22:23.85
You know, one of the
amazing things to me as we've
00:22:23.88\00:22:26.04
been doing this now
for quite a long time,
00:22:26.07\00:22:28.52
is that praying
out loud with you
00:22:29.24\00:22:31.42
has seem to
00:22:31.91\00:22:33.68
make some of the
things that I pray for
00:22:34.56\00:22:36.52
with you just come
alive and be so real
00:22:36.55\00:22:39.81
and important.
00:22:39.84\00:22:41.06
I mean, praying,
00:22:41.16\00:22:42.13
privately,
quietly, silently is good.
00:22:42.44\00:22:45.18
We need that
closed prayer time but
00:22:45.21\00:22:47.01
praying with you and
praying out loud for our needs
00:22:47.63\00:22:50.04
it just made some of the things
come more into my mind and
00:22:50.37\00:22:53.43
and made me more sensitive
00:22:53.46\00:22:55.39
to how I can cooperate
with answering those prayers.
00:22:55.42\00:22:57.86
It does, it reinforces it in
our minds, because we hear it
00:22:59.50\00:23:03.07
as well as speak it.
00:23:03.10\00:23:05.01
And that only makes it that
much stronger in our hearts.
00:23:05.73\00:23:08.08
Well, I
remember not too long ago
00:23:08.60\00:23:10.60
it was bed time, and we
had worship and everybody
00:23:10.63\00:23:13.41
was hading to bed,
00:23:13.44\00:23:14.42
and you had gone down
ahead of me down stairs
00:23:14.86\00:23:18.19
to our bed room
00:23:18.22\00:23:19.19
and I was sitting in my
little glider rocker upstairs
00:23:19.20\00:23:21.62
and I had pulled
out an old photo album
00:23:21.65\00:23:24.44
that I just had
this desire to look at.
00:23:24.47\00:23:26.79
Special memories.
00:23:27.24\00:23:28.27
Special memories.
00:23:28.30\00:23:29.27
And I was sitting
there, you know, just
00:23:29.50\00:23:31.20
looking to it for a few minutes
and I got totally absorbed.
00:23:31.23\00:23:34.17
And the next thing I know,
you're coming back upstairs
00:23:34.56\00:23:36.61
and you poke your head
over the top of the stair rail
00:23:36.64\00:23:38.77
and you said: "Honey,
you're coming to bed?"
00:23:38.80\00:23:39.86
And I said: "Oh
yes, in a few minutes."
00:23:39.89\00:23:41.94
I went back down
stairs and I just
00:23:43.22\00:23:45.52
had a little quiet time alone
00:23:45.55\00:23:46.78
and waited for my bride to come.
00:23:46.81\00:23:48.49
And you waited, and
you waited, and you waited.
00:23:49.45\00:23:52.39
Because I totally got absorbed.
00:23:52.77\00:23:54.99
In fact I think I even said:
00:23:55.42\00:23:56.72
well you know "Maybe
you should just go ahead
00:23:56.75\00:23:58.11
and go to bed" or I
don't know what it was but
00:23:58.14\00:24:00.04
I came down stairs, I
don't know, half an hour later?
00:24:00.78\00:24:03.24
It was quite a while later.
00:24:03.98\00:24:05.18
And I was trying
to be ever so quiet
00:24:05.76\00:24:08.02
and I came into the
room and there you were
00:24:08.56\00:24:10.47
sitting up in bed,
waiting for me to come to bed.
00:24:10.50\00:24:13.62
And I said: "Honey, you
didn't have to wait out for me!"
00:24:14.45\00:24:16.48
I didn't want to miss
our prayer time together.
00:24:17.24\00:24:18.96
And that's what you told me.
00:24:18.99\00:24:20.20
You didn't want to go
to sleep without that time.
00:24:21.00\00:24:23.80
That was powerful to me.
00:24:24.74\00:24:26.60
And I was
00:24:27.27\00:24:28.35
embarrassed or felt
bad that I kept you waiting
00:24:29.03\00:24:32.02
but not once in that time
00:24:32.55\00:24:34.72
that elapsed did you
ever say: "Hurry up!"
00:24:34.75\00:24:37.35
"I'm waiting for you!"
00:24:37.38\00:24:38.53
"When you're gonna get here?"
00:24:38.56\00:24:39.78
You know, any of
those impatient remarks,
00:24:40.24\00:24:42.19
you just let me
have that quiet time.
00:24:42.22\00:24:44.09
You let me enjoy reminiscing
through an old photo album
00:24:44.12\00:24:47.10
all by myself.
00:24:47.13\00:24:48.23
And you were just very
kind and gentle with me.
00:24:48.85\00:24:53.66
And that made a
powerful impact in my heart.
00:24:54.19\00:24:57.87
Well, those prayers of love
00:24:58.31\00:24:59.79
have made a difference and
continue to make a difference
00:25:00.51\00:25:03.05
in our home.
00:25:03.08\00:25:04.05
And I'm thankful
for that appreciation.
00:25:04.98\00:25:06.82
And I want our viewing
audience as we bring to you
00:25:06.85\00:25:10.48
a personal challenge:
00:25:10.51\00:25:11.85
that you can begin today
00:25:12.84\00:25:14.21
if some of these
things are new to you
00:25:14.68\00:25:16.16
or maybe these aren't
new thoughts for you but
00:25:16.19\00:25:18.25
maybe life's pushing
pressures have kept you from
00:25:18.28\00:25:21.54
really entering in
00:25:21.57\00:25:22.90
to some of these
things in a practical way.
00:25:23.47\00:25:25.50
So, we just wanna share with you
00:25:26.16\00:25:27.61
and encourage you
that you will take
00:25:28.19\00:25:30.51
these five
things and begin to make
00:25:30.54\00:25:33.22
commitments that
these prayers of love
00:25:33.25\00:25:35.98
will begin to be
your prayers of love.
00:25:36.50\00:25:39.32
So, the first
thing we talked about
00:25:40.89\00:25:42.36
was praying in Gospel Order.
00:25:42.84\00:25:45.09
That's right!
00:25:45.12\00:25:46.09
I pray for myself first,
00:25:46.10\00:25:47.74
my needs, my heart.
00:25:47.77\00:25:49.73
-Yes.
00:25:49.76\00:25:50.73
-A new
conversion. -That's right!
00:25:50.74\00:25:52.50
We need it daily.
00:25:52.53\00:25:53.50
That's the first and
most important place we start.
00:25:53.53\00:25:56.11
And then we need to
be praying for God to
00:25:56.14\00:25:58.09
to change me.
00:25:58.53\00:25:59.50
And to be thakful.
00:26:00.03\00:26:01.13
Those prayers of thankfulness
00:26:02.04\00:26:03.22
have been a
tremendous encouragement to me.
00:26:03.25\00:26:05.33
And I know you're
thankful for me too, because
00:26:05.91\00:26:07.76
you express it many
many times in a day.
00:26:07.79\00:26:10.16
That's right!
00:26:10.19\00:26:11.16
And then the third area.
00:26:11.17\00:26:12.14
The prayers of love
00:26:12.77\00:26:13.90
when we differ on
things, when we don't see things
00:26:14.35\00:26:16.78
eye to eye,
00:26:17.30\00:26:18.27
That's right!
00:26:18.28\00:26:19.25
that we pray not to be right,
00:26:19.26\00:26:20.94
we don't pray to
change the other person.
00:26:21.37\00:26:23.47
We ask God to change who
ever doesn't see it right.
00:26:23.50\00:26:26.34
That's right!
00:26:26.37\00:26:27.34
That's a prayer of love.
00:26:27.35\00:26:28.32
"Lord if I'm wrong
show me, change my heart!
00:26:28.33\00:26:31.65
And help me to
find rest in this."
00:26:32.08\00:26:34.10
But if you're wrong,
"If my spouse is wrong
00:26:34.53\00:26:37.39
Lord you can change him!"
00:26:37.42\00:26:38.94
I can't change you.
I tried that early on,
00:26:38.97\00:26:41.46
and it doesn't work.
00:26:41.49\00:26:42.46
That' right!
00:26:42.47\00:26:43.44
And to make known to the
spouse if there are real needs
00:26:43.76\00:26:46.60
and than that we
pray daily together.
00:26:47.04\00:26:49.10
That's been a great blessing.
00:26:49.70\00:26:50.89
And I think it will be beautiful
if we could just pray now.
00:26:51.26\00:26:53.26
Maybe you'd like to pray honey.
00:26:53.29\00:26:54.49
Father we are thankful that
we can come to You any time.
00:26:56.65\00:26:59.53
And we're thankful that
You have put it in our hearts
00:27:00.09\00:27:02.81
to pray prayers of love,
00:27:02.84\00:27:04.24
love for each
other and love for You
00:27:05.13\00:27:07.35
love for others.
00:27:07.38\00:27:08.63
And may Your Love flow into us.
00:27:09.04\00:27:11.16
And through our prayers be
the person you want us to be.
00:27:11.67\00:27:14.50
In Jesus name Amen!
00:27:14.53\00:27:15.81
Well, we've got something
00:27:18.03\00:27:19.35
that's gonna be
a fun to talk about
00:27:20.18\00:27:21.70
the next time we're together.
00:27:21.73\00:27:22.80
Forming common goals.
00:27:23.38\00:27:25.57
You know, many of us
00:27:26.20\00:27:27.66
we go through life
dealing with the goals
00:27:28.29\00:27:31.01
that we have to
set to make things work
00:27:31.04\00:27:33.40
in every area of our lives.
00:27:33.43\00:27:35.07
We need to set common goals
00:27:35.10\00:27:36.93
for what's gonna work to make us
00:27:37.45\00:27:39.26
have a marriage
that's trully heart to heart
00:27:39.29\00:27:42.62
with the one that we love!
00:27:42.65\00:27:44.14
Marriage in God's Hands
00:27:47.98\00:27:48.95
Executive Producer Danny Shelton
00:27:48.96\00:27:51.44
Director Jozsef Palhegyi
00:27:51.47\00:27:53.95
Video Early Simon
00:27:53.98\00:27:56.60
Video Assistant Kristin Stewart
00:27:56.63\00:27:58.97
Audio Timothy S. Dial
00:27:59.00\00:28:01.47
Floor Director Mitch Owen
00:28:01.50\00:28:03.94