Welcome to Marriage Heart to Heart 00:00:32.97\00:00:34.95 We are Tom & Alane Waters with Restoration International 00:00:35.37\00:00:38.72 And today we're gonna discussing how to build a Sure Foundation. 00:00:39.76\00:00:43.16 So we hope you have a pencil and paper to take some notes 00:00:43.19\00:00:45.61 as we talk about this topic today. 00:00:45.64\00:00:47.47 It does make a difference, doesn't it? 00:00:48.24\00:00:49.88 To have a pen and paper! 00:00:49.98\00:00:51.10 It does! I remember so much more when I write things down. 00:00:51.13\00:00:53.83 Even if I never look at the list again! 00:00:53.86\00:00:55.67 That's right! 00:00:55.70\00:00:56.67 - It just sinks it in better. - Sinks it into the mind. 00:00:56.68\00:00:58.67 You know, Christ is our Creator. 00:01:00.29\00:01:03.22 He created life in us. 00:01:04.43\00:01:06.03 And He's the One Who gave us the marriage relation. 00:01:06.07\00:01:08.56 He's the One that started it all, back then. 00:01:08.59\00:01:11.02 Christ is also the Author 00:01:12.30\00:01:13.74 of the Word of God! 00:01:14.59\00:01:16.02 The Scriptures 00:01:16.40\00:01:17.37 and Christ is the Word that was made flesh. 00:01:18.15\00:01:21.67 And He was made flesh for us! 00:01:22.32\00:01:24.17 He came here to demonstrate how to live 00:01:24.67\00:01:28.19 a life that He wants us to live. 00:01:28.22\00:01:29.98 Not only is He made flesh but when He was made flesh He 00:01:31.17\00:01:34.43 became our Redeemer! 00:01:34.46\00:01:35.92 And we need Him as a personal Savior don't we dear? 00:01:37.18\00:01:39.21 Every day! 00:01:39.73\00:01:40.70 That's what's made the difference 00:01:40.71\00:01:41.68 in our real Christian life, not our professed Christian life. 00:01:42.14\00:01:46.19 But Christ has made that difference and He's continuing 00:01:46.74\00:01:49.09 to make that difference. 00:01:49.12\00:01:50.09 And we need Him as our personal Guide through His Word. 00:01:50.59\00:01:54.22 So, if we look at the Word that was made flesh, 00:01:54.63\00:01:57.38 the Holy Word, the Word of God 00:01:58.33\00:02:01.17 we need to take that from the table, 00:02:02.10\00:02:04.26 or take that from the paper, 00:02:04.29\00:02:06.14 and it needs to become a part of us. 00:02:06.67\00:02:08.71 To become a practical part of our daily lives. 00:02:09.21\00:02:12.09 And that is where we find our Sure Foundation. 00:02:12.12\00:02:14.97 We struggled. 00:02:15.40\00:02:16.37 Especially in the early part of our marriage, 00:02:16.59\00:02:18.60 because we knew a lot about this 00:02:18.63\00:02:21.15 but it was not our Sure Foundation, 00:02:21.54\00:02:24.16 in the way we really lived our lives. 00:02:24.62\00:02:26.05 That's right! It was just whatever I thought 00:02:26.88\00:02:29.12 or what I remembered or how I was raised 00:02:29.15\00:02:31.19 and the same with you. - Yes! 00:02:31.22\00:02:32.59 And because we came from such very backgrounds 00:02:32.63\00:02:35.29 and different talents and strengths and weaknesses 00:02:35.76\00:02:38.30 it was important that we established 00:02:38.69\00:02:40.92 where our foundation was in our home. 00:02:40.96\00:02:43.16 And when people don't have a foundation to their marriage 00:02:43.68\00:02:48.32 their marriage isn't gonna stand in this time that we live! 00:02:48.79\00:02:51.77 I mean is gonna hit difficulties and trials and is gonna crumble. 00:02:51.81\00:02:56.20 And that's what's happening all around us! 00:02:56.23\00:02:58.08 So, is it enough? 00:02:58.86\00:03:00.30 You know, we read in our Sure Foundation, 00:03:00.97\00:03:04.14 that we need to not be unequally yoked together. 00:03:04.73\00:03:07.94 Ok? That's a principle. 00:03:07.97\00:03:09.53 So, 00:03:09.98\00:03:11.03 many people think that that, well, 00:03:11.52\00:03:13.45 we need to be the same religion, 00:03:13.49\00:03:15.39 you know, we need to have the same basic, 00:03:15.78\00:03:18.34 you know, church believes. 00:03:19.15\00:03:20.77 Is that enough? Is that a Sure Foundation? 00:03:21.31\00:03:24.04 It's not The Foundation! No! 00:03:24.07\00:03:26.46 It's important and even if we don't have that, if that 00:03:26.49\00:03:31.26 isn't in the relationship, 00:03:31.29\00:03:32.73 there's still principles from the Bible, 00:03:32.77\00:03:34.51 if one is a Christian and one isn't. 00:03:34.55\00:03:36.26 That the person who is can build that because 00:03:36.60\00:03:38.92 everything in God's Word is only gonna make our marriages better! 00:03:38.96\00:03:43.15 So if we have a believer and an unbeliever, 00:03:43.63\00:03:46.42 a Christian and a No Christian in a marriage union, 00:03:46.94\00:03:49.30 that Christian can still build of the Word of God 00:03:49.71\00:03:52.30 as their foundation. 00:03:52.33\00:03:53.34 That's right! 00:03:53.37\00:03:54.34 And they can change or they can strengthen their marriage 00:03:54.35\00:03:57.58 by having that! 00:03:57.61\00:03:58.58 Isn't it true also that even if we're talking to 00:03:59.57\00:04:02.74 a No Christian couple 00:04:03.18\00:04:05.19 that they're still benefiting 00:04:05.71\00:04:07.28 even if they haven't even open God's Word! 00:04:07.32\00:04:10.14 They're benefiting from the Sure Foundation. 00:04:10.17\00:04:12.96 That's right! 00:04:12.99\00:04:13.96 'Cause everything comes from God! 00:04:13.97\00:04:15.46 That's right! 00:04:15.49\00:04:16.46 So, I wanna go back to our early experience again. 00:04:16.80\00:04:21.33 Because we were Bible believing, professing Christians. 00:04:22.01\00:04:27.09 Went to the same church, - Yes 00:04:27.12\00:04:28.09 participated in the same activities, helped to lead out 00:04:28.10\00:04:31.19 in some of the same departments - That's right! 00:04:31.22\00:04:33.07 And yet, it wasn't enough! 00:04:33.88\00:04:35.45 We still, were not living our day to day life, 00:04:36.30\00:04:39.52 by every word that proceeds from the Mouth of God. 00:04:40.97\00:04:43.23 Jesus said: "Men shall not live on bread alone 00:04:43.27\00:04:45.50 but by every word that proceeds from the Mouth of God!" 00:04:45.98\00:04:49.02 So, is it fair to say that it was a part of our lives but 00:04:49.06\00:04:52.07 it wasn't the foundation of our lives. 00:04:52.10\00:04:53.69 Yes! It was definitely a part of our lives! 00:04:53.73\00:04:56.19 But it was not a practical part of our lives. 00:04:57.31\00:04:59.51 And that's what becomes foundational. 00:04:59.54\00:05:02.00 And so, we knew a lot of things, 00:05:02.54\00:05:04.25 we could talk about a lot of things, 00:05:04.29\00:05:05.97 we could even share things. 00:05:06.00\00:05:07.72 And I think this is something that maybe 00:05:08.00\00:05:10.01 some of our viewers have experienced. 00:05:10.04\00:05:12.02 It's not enough to even know the Word of God! 00:05:12.60\00:05:16.18 We can know the Word of God, we can talk about it 00:05:16.78\00:05:18.97 one day a week, 00:05:19.55\00:05:20.63 we can 00:05:20.84\00:05:21.81 memorize the Word of God, but if it is not our Sure Foundation 00:05:22.88\00:05:27.25 if it is not guiding us in real life, 00:05:27.28\00:05:30.16 that's what we need to think about! Because 00:05:30.49\00:05:31.99 What we started to see as our eyes were opened 00:05:32.49\00:05:34.58 is that we weren't living 00:05:35.04\00:05:36.31 yet we knew a lot of this, 00:05:37.49\00:05:39.22 we believed in it, we even given Bible studies 00:05:39.26\00:05:42.39 but it was not really governing our lives as you said, as the 00:05:42.43\00:05:46.97 foundation of our lives! 00:05:47.00\00:05:49.29 So the how we related to each other 00:05:49.69\00:05:51.99 was not based of what we knew was right! 00:05:52.46\00:05:54.61 It was based of how we felt at the moment. 00:05:54.65\00:05:56.67 Yes! 00:05:56.70\00:05:57.67 And that's why there was problems. 00:05:57.68\00:05:59.32 That's right! Because knowing God's Word is not the same 00:05:59.36\00:06:03.73 as knowing God's Word as it is 00:06:04.34\00:06:06.21 when we're surrendered to Jesus Christ! 00:06:06.25\00:06:07.81 And experiencing the Word of God working in our lives 00:06:07.85\00:06:11.47 in a very powerful way! - Yes! 00:06:11.50\00:06:12.80 And you've heard us mention James 1:19. 00:06:13.42\00:06:17.70 It's a very good marriage text! 00:06:18.19\00:06:20.82 But it's also a very practical illustration for me, 00:06:21.67\00:06:24.29 when I came into our marriage! 00:06:24.76\00:06:26.64 I knew this verse: "let every man be swift to hear, 00:06:27.24\00:06:30.71 and slow to speak, 00:06:31.64\00:06:33.13 and slow to wrath" 00:06:33.16\00:06:34.15 And I use this illustration, I use this text because 00:06:34.53\00:06:37.59 that came right out of our Sure Foundation, the Word of God! 00:06:37.63\00:06:41.57 But it was not in my heart as a practical reality 00:06:43.35\00:06:47.61 of how I lived daily life. 00:06:47.64\00:06:49.77 If you could've been around me at the time that 00:06:50.21\00:06:52.55 I married my dear wife 00:06:53.28\00:06:54.86 you would've seen very quickly that James 1:19 had 00:06:55.35\00:06:58.42 no practical relevance to my Christian experience! 00:06:58.45\00:07:01.63 Now, I wasn't a bad person! I wasn't 00:07:02.44\00:07:04.41 you know, getting in to all kinds of problems 00:07:04.83\00:07:07.03 and everything. I was just like one of the good old boys. 00:07:07.07\00:07:10.70 Like most of the people that we went to church with. 00:07:10.89\00:07:13.52 - Isn't that right? - Yes! 00:07:13.55\00:07:14.68 - Like most people! - Just like most people! 00:07:14.72\00:07:16.63 James 1:19 did not have real significance as a foundation 00:07:18.13\00:07:23.93 in our marriage! Did it? 00:07:24.30\00:07:25.49 No1 For neither one of us! 00:07:26.05\00:07:27.40 I mean we knew it but we didn't experience it! 00:07:27.44\00:07:29.53 And we use this illustration because this is vital! 00:07:29.57\00:07:33.80 The difference in our lives 00:07:34.28\00:07:36.04 since we've come to make God's Word practical 00:07:36.63\00:07:40.24 has not just been a difference as a Christian. 00:07:40.90\00:07:43.80 It's made The Difference 00:07:43.83\00:07:45.38 in our marriage! - It has! It's given us 00:07:45.42\00:07:47.69 common ground to start with. 00:07:47.72\00:07:49.86 And the foundation, like I said that when things come up 00:07:50.21\00:07:53.66 that would shake, they don't shake! 00:07:54.14\00:07:56.26 Because we go back to the Word of God, we find there 00:07:56.86\00:07:59.56 the foundation of how we resolve conflict, how we 00:07:59.79\00:08:03.40 we work with difficulties or trials, 00:08:03.44\00:08:06.03 how we raise our children. 00:08:06.07\00:08:07.06 - That's right! - It's all there! 00:08:07.09\00:08:08.24 Well, I wanna take that verse James 1:19, 00:08:08.27\00:08:11.90 I wanna take it little farther. 00:08:11.93\00:08:12.90 I wanna get something more out of this because 00:08:13.87\00:08:15.98 I know what God began to show me 00:08:16.01\00:08:17.86 I wasnt swift to hear! In fact I was just the opposite. 00:08:19.28\00:08:23.51 And I think many of you know exactly what I'm talking about. 00:08:23.75\00:08:27.34 In real life regard of the fact that I had the Word of God 00:08:27.38\00:08:30.94 and I knew what the Word of God said 00:08:31.79\00:08:33.59 I didn't have a vital connection to the power of Jesus Christ. 00:08:33.63\00:08:38.60 A life changing gospel therefore I was not swift to hear. 00:08:38.91\00:08:44.10 I was swift to speak! 00:08:44.13\00:08:47.19 Just ask my wife! 00:08:48.21\00:08:49.22 I was swift to say whatever came out of my thoughts! 00:08:49.79\00:08:53.10 And I was slow to hear! 00:08:53.65\00:08:57.05 Right? 00:08:57.56\00:08:58.53 Sometimes that was true. 00:08:58.59\00:09:00.19 And instead of being slow to wrath, which we could say, 00:09:00.71\00:09:05.01 slow to irritation, slow to get upset, 00:09:05.04\00:09:07.82 I was very quick. 00:09:08.90\00:09:10.01 So, how can this be? 00:09:10.73\00:09:11.86 How can we say that we believe in the Word of God? 00:09:12.39\00:09:16.48 And that this is our Sure Foundation, which I believe that 00:09:17.35\00:09:21.40 most, I hope that most of our viewing audience 00:09:21.43\00:09:24.21 would say that the Word of God 00:09:24.73\00:09:26.17 is the foundation of the Christian life. 00:09:26.21\00:09:27.71 Even if you are watching today and you're not involved in 00:09:28.23\00:09:32.65 the Word of God, you would say: That's the basis of Christianity 00:09:32.69\00:09:36.82 and the basis of a true marriage. " 00:09:36.85\00:09:39.89 So, why is it? 00:09:40.52\00:09:42.32 that we can have all this Word and it doesn't 00:09:42.85\00:09:45.51 become a practical part of our daily life? 00:09:45.54\00:09:48.17 Where does that leave us? 00:09:48.20\00:09:49.73 Well it leaves us to failure. 00:09:49.76\00:09:51.26 That's right! 00:09:51.29\00:09:52.26 That's the only place that can leave us. 00:09:52.27\00:09:54.47 Because I'm gonna respond in my first thought. 00:09:54.50\00:09:58.00 The "me focus". 00:09:58.40\00:09:59.37 And you're gonna respond in your first thought, the "me focus" 00:09:59.81\00:10:03.44 and therefore we don't treat each other the way we should. 00:10:03.99\00:10:06.54 You know, even the Golden Rule: 00:10:07.00\00:10:08.64 "Do unto others what you would have them do unto you!" 00:10:08.68\00:10:10.99 I mean that's very simple to understand, many children 00:10:11.55\00:10:14.72 have it memorized, we've known it for years! 00:10:14.75\00:10:16.39 That's right! 00:10:16.42\00:10:17.39 But certainly didn't understand how that operated 00:10:17.40\00:10:20.89 in our marriage until we brought this in to reality 00:10:20.92\00:10:24.62 in our home. 00:10:24.65\00:10:25.62 - So, - And that made the difference! 00:10:25.63\00:10:27.14 Then is safe to say that what we're trying to discuss today is 00:10:27.18\00:10:30.97 making this Sure Foundation 00:10:31.57\00:10:33.42 a reality! 00:10:33.97\00:10:35.06 Make it real! Absolutely! 00:10:35.53\00:10:36.85 And in order to make that! This is the Word that became flesh. 00:10:36.89\00:10:41.64 This Word was embodied in Jesus Christ! 00:10:41.67\00:10:45.31 And in order for us to be successful 00:10:46.04\00:10:48.18 if we say that we believe in the Bible as Christians 00:10:48.54\00:10:51.09 and It's going to be our Sure Foundation 00:10:51.12\00:10:52.86 then what we're encouraging you today to consider 00:10:53.01\00:10:56.43 maybe in a new way is 00:10:56.46\00:10:58.15 that it's not enough 00:10:58.19\00:10:59.85 to profess Christianity! It's not enough to say: 00:11:00.61\00:11:03.50 "I believe in God's Word!" 00:11:03.53\00:11:04.99 It's not enough to say: "I'm a Christian!" 00:11:05.24\00:11:07.94 Because a Christian is 00:11:07.97\00:11:09.61 Christ like. 00:11:10.05\00:11:11.11 That's where the name comes from. 00:11:11.15\00:11:12.74 And so, we need to pray that God will help us move. 00:11:13.27\00:11:16.45 And that's what we did: to move from the theoretical 00:11:16.49\00:11:19.64 to the practical. 00:11:20.43\00:11:21.40 To make it real in our lives! 00:11:21.77\00:11:23.23 And so, this may sound very simplistic to you out there 00:11:23.65\00:11:26.66 but what we began to do and the first thing we did is we 00:11:26.69\00:11:30.15 started to surrender ourselves to Christ in a new way. 00:11:30.18\00:11:33.61 That means: when I'm surrendering to Christ 00:11:33.64\00:11:35.63 I'm surrendering to the Word that was made flesh. 00:11:35.67\00:11:38.21 Now I'm gonna surrender to His Word that's here in the Bible. 00:11:38.25\00:11:41.63 And I'm gonna surrender my will to do His will as revealed 00:11:42.18\00:11:46.36 in His Word. And we started praying together. 00:11:46.39\00:11:49.22 We started praying together that we would begin to 00:11:50.07\00:11:53.56 live out the principles of God's Word in real life. 00:11:53.59\00:11:57.05 Not just to say that 00:11:57.46\00:11:59.01 I believe I should be "swift to hear and slow to speak" 00:11:59.22\00:12:02.29 And it started revolutionizing our marriage. 00:12:02.78\00:12:05.25 It did! It started changing everything about us! 00:12:05.67\00:12:08.21 Because it brought me and it brought you to the realization 00:12:08.82\00:12:12.23 that we're gonna start treating each other the way 00:12:12.26\00:12:14.22 we know we should be treating each other. 00:12:14.25\00:12:15.58 Amen! 00:12:15.61\00:12:16.69 And that made a huge difference! 00:12:16.72\00:12:18.06 It wasn't even like New Light! 00:12:18.09\00:12:19.37 No not at all! 00:12:19.40\00:12:20.37 It was just like: do what we know was right to do! 00:12:20.41\00:12:23.20 And so, we made that commitment together, 00:12:23.78\00:12:26.37 when we prayed we made that commitment. 00:12:26.69\00:12:29.06 That we're gonna let God's Word truly be: 00:12:29.10\00:12:31.40 "a lamp to our feet and a light to our path!" 00:12:31.43\00:12:33.70 as it David expresses in Psalms. 00:12:33.73\00:12:35.60 That's right! 00:12:35.63\00:12:36.60 And that changed the whole direction. 00:12:36.71\00:12:39.44 It gave us a difference in how we started communicating. 00:12:39.48\00:12:42.90 You started listening more. 00:12:42.93\00:12:44.92 And I started listening also. 00:12:44.96\00:12:46.92 It changed on how we 00:12:47.22\00:12:48.65 raised our children. 00:12:50.11\00:12:51.25 Absolutely! 00:12:51.48\00:12:52.45 You know "train up a child in the way he should go" 00:12:52.46\00:12:55.34 and "teach your children to obey you!" 00:12:55.68\00:12:57.34 These were things that we knew intellectually. 00:12:57.66\00:13:00.10 We knew were good, but it wasn't happening. 00:13:00.47\00:13:02.95 An when those things aren't happening in the home 00:13:03.34\00:13:05.66 that develops those areas for conflict. 00:13:05.69\00:13:08.19 Yes! And I think where we found discouragement sometimes 00:13:08.23\00:13:12.03 and I think some of you listening today, is that we can 00:13:12.06\00:13:15.83 know these things and we can know that Jesus, 00:13:15.86\00:13:18.57 said: "If you know these things happy are ye if you do them!" 00:13:18.61\00:13:21.50 The difficulty is, 00:13:22.16\00:13:23.28 and we experienced this, 00:13:23.66\00:13:25.11 when we see what's right to do, 00:13:25.93\00:13:27.57 are we gonna do it in our own strength? 00:13:27.61\00:13:29.54 Are we gonna try to do this, 'cause now I got to do it right! 00:13:29.58\00:13:34.33 And we found that we cannot, we don't have the strength! 00:13:35.58\00:13:38.56 Our will power is not the power to overcome sin! 00:13:39.33\00:13:44.41 That's right! 00:13:44.44\00:13:45.41 Our will power is choice power! Is the power God gives us 00:13:45.42\00:13:49.01 that we can make a choice to connect our weakness 00:13:49.51\00:13:51.97 with the enduring strength of Jesus Christ! 00:13:52.00\00:13:54.43 And that's what started changing us! 00:13:54.70\00:13:55.95 Not pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, 00:13:56.36\00:13:58.22 or gritting our teeth. - Or trying hard! 00:13:58.57\00:14:00.29 Trying harder! 00:14:00.32\00:14:01.52 It was really allowing ourselves not only to find 00:14:01.75\00:14:05.42 the Word of God but to find the Power of God 00:14:05.45\00:14:07.80 to live those principles! 00:14:07.83\00:14:09.10 And we've experienced the happiest days of our lives, 00:14:09.76\00:14:12.81 as a result! 00:14:12.84\00:14:13.86 Yet, every time we just you know we find an area that we don't 00:14:15.05\00:14:18.59 see eye to eye on, 00:14:18.62\00:14:20.09 or we don't understand 00:14:20.12\00:14:21.52 we start searching the Word of God to find the answers. 00:14:21.56\00:14:24.13 - That's right! - And that's where you will find 00:14:24.16\00:14:26.14 many of your challenges resolved in the Word of God! 00:14:26.65\00:14:31.23 Because there God has a solutions for every problem! 00:14:31.74\00:14:34.44 This is something we've said to one another and we believed it 00:14:34.72\00:14:37.52 and we have found it to be true 00:14:37.55\00:14:39.17 and you can find that same thing too. 00:14:39.21\00:14:40.91 That's right! 00:14:41.58\00:14:42.55 You know, the society that we live in today, 00:14:42.96\00:14:45.56 one of the reasons that we find the immorality 00:14:46.08\00:14:50.49 and the crime and all the things that we know are out there 00:14:51.31\00:14:56.85 is because we've left 00:14:57.62\00:14:59.96 the Sure Foundation. 00:15:01.60\00:15:02.64 We've gone to shaky ground. 00:15:03.65\00:15:05.32 We aren't finding the lamp unto our feet 00:15:05.48\00:15:10.02 and the light into our path. 00:15:10.05\00:15:11.57 And therefore the path gets dark. 00:15:11.61\00:15:13.12 And that's why we can live in the society today, 00:15:13.76\00:15:16.74 that is accepting 00:15:16.92\00:15:20.06 things like 00:15:21.07\00:15:22.46 same sex marriages. 00:15:23.84\00:15:24.85 There's no way that that would've been acceptable 00:15:25.60\00:15:28.53 even twenty years ago, 00:15:28.56\00:15:30.05 in the public eye. 00:15:30.57\00:15:31.98 Because much of society has moved away from the sure guide, 00:15:32.23\00:15:37.69 the Sure Foundation. 00:15:37.72\00:15:39.40 And so the foundation of our society is crumbling. 00:15:39.55\00:15:42.90 And the foundation of many homes is. 00:15:43.32\00:15:45.19 - That's right! - We can't change 00:15:45.22\00:15:46.47 our society, we can only allow God to change us. 00:15:46.50\00:15:49.62 And family by family, couple by couple we can change the way 00:15:49.92\00:15:54.25 our communities operate, we can change 00:15:54.28\00:15:56.08 the society in which we live 00:15:56.11\00:15:57.62 if we're willing to put ourselves back on the Sure Word, 00:15:57.66\00:16:01.02 the foundation that is gonna be strong an bring us through. 00:16:01.05\00:16:04.38 - And so, - That's right! 00:16:05.06\00:16:06.13 having made that commitment 00:16:06.16\00:16:07.20 we've addressed every area in our lives as husband and wife 00:16:07.23\00:16:11.45 as parents, 00:16:11.96\00:16:13.65 and as individuals, in our friendships, 00:16:13.69\00:16:16.18 in relationship with other people, in our work ethics 00:16:16.22\00:16:19.17 in every area, we have brought the Scriptures, 00:16:19.57\00:16:23.10 the Word of God to be the test for our life 00:16:23.13\00:16:26.63 for how we respond, - That's right! 00:16:26.66\00:16:27.89 our decisions. 00:16:27.92\00:16:29.12 Well, this is exciting, 00:16:29.98\00:16:31.16 but we need to take a break right now. 00:16:31.20\00:16:32.97 So stay with us and when we come back, 00:16:33.00\00:16:34.74 we're gonna talk about how we can build on this: 00:16:34.77\00:16:38.09 God's Word, a Sure Foundation! 00:16:38.12\00:16:40.53 There are many "How to?" books available, 00:16:45.92\00:16:47.93 but there's one that's free and perfect for every couple: 00:16:47.97\00:16:51.18 how you can "Build a Better Marriage". 00:16:51.62\00:16:53.60 Bible-based, matrimonial advice is given in a lighthearted, 00:16:54.00\00:16:57.73 easy-to-read manner, 00:16:57.76\00:16:58.86 for those contemplating marriage, newlyweds, 00:16:58.89\00:17:01.66 couples in their golden years, 00:17:01.69\00:17:03.40 and everyone in-between. 00:17:03.43\00:17:05.31 Simply call or write for your free copy of this 00:17:05.50\00:17:07.83 amazing little booklet, a handy little tool 00:17:07.86\00:17:10.21 to help build a better marriage. 00:17:10.37\00:17:12.33 Welcome back! We're talking about the Sure Foundation. 00:17:18.31\00:17:21.92 God's Word, This is our Sure Foundation! 00:17:23.01\00:17:26.13 But as we were sharing a little earlier, in this program, 00:17:26.52\00:17:29.93 one of the difficulties is that 00:17:31.17\00:17:33.43 we're not in the Word like we should be! 00:17:34.11\00:17:36.99 We can say we believe in it! 00:17:38.01\00:17:39.29 But if we're not really in God's Word 00:17:39.71\00:17:41.71 if we're not taking time to really know God's Word, 00:17:41.98\00:17:45.98 we're not gonna be on a Sure Foundation. 00:17:47.36\00:17:49.80 Secondly many of us, as we said earlier, 00:17:49.83\00:17:52.24 we had quite a good knowledge of Gods Word 00:17:52.27\00:17:56.08 when we went into the marriage. 00:17:56.11\00:17:57.19 But if we're not making a practical application 00:17:57.99\00:18:00.02 of God's word, 00:18:00.05\00:18:01.06 if we're not bringing it in to the real life 00:18:01.48\00:18:03.81 if Christ not working in us, in these situations 00:18:04.96\00:18:08.02 then we're still not on a good foundation, because 00:18:08.06\00:18:11.09 just knowing God's Word, the Bible tells us 00:18:11.48\00:18:14.93 this Sure Foundation tells us that the Devils 00:18:15.44\00:18:18.69 believe and tremble, they know what God's Word says. 00:18:19.68\00:18:22.55 It's not enough! 00:18:22.58\00:18:23.72 We knew many things, 00:18:24.17\00:18:25.19 even in our marriage we knew many things 00:18:25.23\00:18:27.83 that the Bible said about it 00:18:27.86\00:18:29.25 and it was not having a practical change in our lives. 00:18:29.67\00:18:32.48 So, we've gotta not only get in to the Word of God 00:18:33.04\00:18:36.50 and begin to clean the principles 00:18:36.95\00:18:40.02 but we've got to surrender to these principles 00:18:40.06\00:18:42.65 and surrender to Christ, the Word that was made flesh. 00:18:42.69\00:18:45.40 And bring it in to our real marriage experience. 00:18:45.43\00:18:49.03 That's taking Psalm 119:105: 00:18:49.88\00:18:52.09 "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet 00:18:52.13\00:18:54.31 and a light unto my path" 00:18:54.75\00:18:56.59 You know, we've used the Word of God as the foundation of 00:18:57.21\00:19:00.67 of all the presentations that we've had thus far 00:19:01.57\00:19:04.61 in this Marriage Heart to Heart series. 00:19:04.64\00:19:06.08 We've talked about the two should become one. 00:19:06.52\00:19:08.63 We've talked about Defining True Love, Developing Respect 00:19:09.45\00:19:13.11 and Cultivating Restraint, 00:19:13.14\00:19:15.59 Understanding our roles, 00:19:16.52\00:19:17.85 as husband and wife, 00:19:18.49\00:19:19.53 and Finding Forgiveness. 00:19:20.24\00:19:21.51 It was this Word that helped us to understand 00:19:22.06\00:19:25.05 where our problems were. 00:19:25.08\00:19:26.45 - That's right! - We couldn't even identify 00:19:26.49\00:19:28.43 where our weaknesses were, 00:19:28.46\00:19:30.16 what kept tripping us up until we started studying the Word 00:19:30.60\00:19:33.02 then we could identify: this is my weak area 00:19:33.05\00:19:35.31 - That's right! - That's my weak area. 00:19:35.34\00:19:36.87 Because we could see it exemplified, 00:19:36.90\00:19:38.40 or the Lord would bring it to us as we spent time there. 00:19:38.81\00:19:41.38 It was the revealer of truth. 00:19:41.41\00:19:44.20 And if the truth of our lives is that we're not 00:19:44.44\00:19:46.95 treating each other good, we can know it to sub degree here 00:19:47.59\00:19:50.64 but we don't understand it at the debt 00:19:50.67\00:19:53.06 that we need to do to solve the problem. 00:19:53.10\00:19:55.46 That's right! 00:19:55.49\00:19:56.46 And that's why, when we made that commitment 00:19:56.47\00:19:58.49 and we make it regularly. I mean it's not something, 00:19:58.53\00:20:00.62 every day we say: "Ok now today we're gonna make 00:20:00.66\00:20:02.72 a commitment, the Bible is our guide. " 00:20:02.75\00:20:04.32 Right! 00:20:04.35\00:20:05.32 But it's an understood commitment. 00:20:05.33\00:20:07.04 And our commitment is renewed daily 00:20:07.08\00:20:09.72 because it becomes what we study daily. 00:20:09.75\00:20:12.36 Amen! 00:20:12.39\00:20:13.36 And as we do, I've been just very challenge myself 00:20:13.37\00:20:16.64 in just the level of what the Bible has to say 00:20:16.67\00:20:20.31 about how we communicate one to another. 00:20:20.34\00:20:22.04 There's so much on communication! 00:20:22.60\00:20:24.72 And a lot of it revealed 00:20:25.11\00:20:26.62 some of our weaknesses in communication. 00:20:26.66\00:20:29.24 - Yes! It sure did! - And it showed us a better way 00:20:29.28\00:20:31.67 on how we can communicate better. 00:20:31.70\00:20:33.54 - That's right! - So in every aspect of life 00:20:33.58\00:20:36.27 the Bible has the principles that are there 00:20:36.31\00:20:38.97 that will help us to have a marriage that's heart to heart 00:20:39.45\00:20:42.09 and find the joy in being one with each other. 00:20:42.26\00:20:45.75 And being an "us" instead of two independent "me"'s 00:20:45.79\00:20:48.79 That's right! 00:20:48.82\00:20:49.79 I wanna talk about that commitment that we made. 00:20:49.80\00:20:51.80 And I wanna share how it worked practically because 00:20:52.20\00:20:55.92 if you remember, when we made that commitment 00:20:56.62\00:20:58.87 we agreed that instead of getting into some of those... 00:20:58.91\00:21:02.99 "- I'm right!" "You're wrong!" 00:21:03.62\00:21:05.59 "I'm gonna prove it to you!" 00:21:05.62\00:21:07.56 Instead of getting into that situation 00:21:07.59\00:21:09.24 and I give you my best argument 00:21:09.27\00:21:11.59 and you give me your best argument 00:21:12.10\00:21:13.85 we made an agreement 00:21:13.88\00:21:15.07 that we would share 00:21:15.73\00:21:18.15 our perspectives and if we couldn't agree 00:21:18.36\00:21:21.65 that we would go to the Sure Foundation. 00:21:21.79\00:21:24.33 And that we would prayerfully consider it. 00:21:24.37\00:21:26.66 I remember when we made that commitment too. 00:21:26.69\00:21:28.91 That was even a little while after we began to read here, 00:21:28.95\00:21:32.85 and we've started seeing the things that 00:21:32.88\00:21:35.20 we needed in ourselves. 00:21:35.23\00:21:36.47 But when we made that commitment that 00:21:36.51\00:21:38.43 we were not gonna argue about anything from this day forward. 00:21:38.46\00:21:41.52 We're gonna go to the Word and the Foundation 00:21:41.90\00:21:43.82 and find out what it has to say about these areas that 00:21:43.86\00:21:46.87 we don't see it and that we can't agree on. 00:21:46.90\00:21:48.66 We're not talking about: "Oh, I like blue and you like red 00:21:48.70\00:21:51.65 - That's right! - so who's right?" 00:21:51.68\00:21:52.65 We're talking about areas in our marriage, 00:21:52.97\00:21:55.32 areas in our parenting, areas in our personal lives, 00:21:55.36\00:21:58.60 that we have conflict in. - That's right! 00:21:58.74\00:22:00.83 There is an answer there! And that's the commitment we made. 00:22:01.27\00:22:03.93 That's right! 00:22:04.01\00:22:04.98 And you remember the first time 00:22:05.31\00:22:07.39 it wasn't long after we made that commitment, 00:22:08.08\00:22:09.85 that we got a chance to test it. 00:22:09.88\00:22:11.19 Yes! It wasn't long at all! 00:22:11.22\00:22:12.52 And I have to say, honey, 00:22:13.29\00:22:14.69 that I was very confident that my perspective was right so I 00:22:15.46\00:22:18.70 - Oh, I know! 00:22:18.73\00:22:19.70 I know, I could see it in your eyes and hearing in your tone. 00:22:19.71\00:22:23.09 And I was just as sure that this time I was gonna be right! 00:22:23.94\00:22:28.04 I was a bit smug in it because I knew: 00:22:28.07\00:22:30.33 "Ok, we're gonna go off, 00:22:30.36\00:22:31.49 and we're gonna do what we agreed here. 00:22:31.53\00:22:32.95 We're not gonna get in a fight over this. " 00:22:33.40\00:22:34.72 And that was refreshing wasn't it? 00:22:34.75\00:22:36.07 - Yes! It was! - It was encouraging! 00:22:36.11\00:22:37.42 "We're not gonna get into this!" 00:22:37.91\00:22:39.05 But I tell you, it was 00:22:39.60\00:22:41.04 it was quite eye opening. Because 00:22:41.91\00:22:43.32 we went looking, willing to find the real answer, 00:22:44.05\00:22:50.03 the principles that we needed. 00:22:50.06\00:22:51.82 I was sure I was right! 00:22:52.18\00:22:53.62 I was convinced and I knew she thought she was right! 00:22:53.66\00:22:57.23 I probably communicated that to you! 00:22:57.74\00:22:59.72 - Oh yes! - In my enthusiasm! Right? 00:22:59.75\00:23:01.73 "Ok! I'll go look!" 00:23:02.25\00:23:03.22 And you know, how Gracious the Lord is1 00:23:03.64\00:23:06.34 Because we were both wrong! 00:23:06.89\00:23:09.70 Isn't it incredible? 00:23:10.33\00:23:11.95 That we both been raised, you know, in Christian homes, 00:23:11.99\00:23:15.38 and we have much to be thankful for that. 00:23:15.41\00:23:17.54 That's right! 00:23:17.57\00:23:18.54 But God takes us wherever we are. 00:23:18.55\00:23:19.89 So if you haven't been raised in a Christian home 00:23:19.93\00:23:22.87 you have still every opportunity, anyone else does. 00:23:22.90\00:23:25.87 But we had that blessing! - That's right! 00:23:26.10\00:23:28.95 And we both, you know, - Thought we knew! 00:23:28.98\00:23:31.80 - Thought we knew what was right! 00:23:31.83\00:23:33.15 We both thought we knew how we could prove it, 00:23:33.19\00:23:35.64 from the Word, and we both found out we were wrong! 00:23:35.68\00:23:39.13 I think that was in the Lord's mercy. 00:23:39.56\00:23:41.04 - That was our first big test! - Yes! 00:23:41.45\00:23:43.27 Because probably neither one of us 00:23:43.69\00:23:46.59 would've done as well if one of us would've been 00:23:46.62\00:23:49.25 right on that! 00:23:49.83\00:23:50.80 So the Lord was good and we came back together and 00:23:51.42\00:23:53.78 and it's such a memorable experience because 00:23:54.30\00:23:56.11 it was the first time that we tested our commitment. 00:23:56.89\00:23:59.68 And one of the other things that we should mention here, 00:23:59.72\00:24:02.48 when we made this commitment, 00:24:02.51\00:24:03.75 is that when we went to the Word of God 00:24:04.20\00:24:06.26 I was really not going to prove my point! 00:24:06.69\00:24:09.28 This is very important! A lot of times 00:24:09.32\00:24:11.88 we can go to the Word of God 00:24:11.91\00:24:13.74 to try to prove our point! - That's right! 00:24:13.78\00:24:15.27 We went to the Word of God because 00:24:15.71\00:24:17.34 we wanted to find out what God had to say. 00:24:17.38\00:24:19.20 And so, that's the way we went! Not to prove our point 00:24:19.75\00:24:22.87 That was the only "qualifier" to this commitment. 00:24:23.30\00:24:27.05 We're not going to prove my point! 00:24:27.41\00:24:29.17 I'm going to find out what the Word has to say 00:24:29.21\00:24:31.52 about this topic, 00:24:31.55\00:24:32.53 about this subject. - That's right! 00:24:32.57\00:24:33.69 And it was that, you know, 00:24:34.15\00:24:36.91 that we saw: "Oh, I was wrong! And you were wrong!" 00:24:36.94\00:24:39.93 "We're both wrong!" 00:24:39.96\00:24:40.93 We've been already married several years 00:24:40.94\00:24:42.62 and had all three of our children to found out 00:24:42.65\00:24:44.84 we had no idea what the Bible really had to say about that! 00:24:44.88\00:24:47.52 That's right! And it has been a tremendous encouragement 00:24:47.56\00:24:50.17 to our young people. 00:24:50.20\00:24:51.33 They're not young anymore but 00:24:52.18\00:24:53.30 it's been a tremendous encouragement 00:24:53.34\00:24:55.29 to them as they've grown up, 00:24:55.32\00:24:56.77 since that commitment was made. 00:24:56.81\00:24:58.23 And they've seen the importance of not just taking 00:24:58.96\00:25:02.35 things the way "I feel" 00:25:02.38\00:25:03.74 or just "My perspective" 00:25:04.50\00:25:06.70 And I think that's another blessing in 00:25:06.74\00:25:08.70 that situation that we had that day. 00:25:08.74\00:25:10.67 Because we've learned from that 00:25:11.16\00:25:14.00 that we were wrong, many times in the baggage that we carry. 00:25:14.40\00:25:17.79 And that God has the real answer in His 00:25:18.26\00:25:20.56 Sure Foundation. 00:25:21.60\00:25:22.63 And as you were sharing that about the children, 00:25:23.11\00:25:24.91 the other part that really has been a blessing in our home 00:25:24.95\00:25:28.31 has been that our young people as children, 00:25:28.79\00:25:31.33 as teenagers, now as young adults 00:25:31.36\00:25:33.26 have seen their mother and father 00:25:33.30\00:25:35.17 go to the Word of God, - That's right! 00:25:36.04\00:25:37.63 and find out how to resolve these problems. 00:25:37.67\00:25:41.16 And when we've had challenges with them, 00:25:41.63\00:25:43.88 we've done the same thing. 00:25:43.91\00:25:45.19 - That's right! - And we've sat together 00:25:45.92\00:25:47.92 in the living room, the five of us. 00:25:47.95\00:25:49.62 And we've opened the Word of God and we've said: 00:25:50.15\00:25:52.08 "Ok! What does He have to say?!" 00:25:52.11\00:25:54.07 "And what sayeth my Lord concerning 00:25:54.10\00:25:55.93 this matter?" - Exactly! 00:25:55.96\00:25:56.93 Not just what sayeth mother and father! 00:25:56.94\00:25:58.50 Right! 00:25:58.53\00:25:59.50 So, that has been a blessing, 00:25:59.56\00:26:00.93 and I think that gives our young people 00:26:00.97\00:26:03.28 not that they go in the life with all the answers 00:26:04.73\00:26:06.75 but they go into life knowing how to find 00:26:06.99\00:26:09.19 - That's right! - the answer! 00:26:09.22\00:26:10.21 Well, why don't you give them the personal challenge? 00:26:11.18\00:26:14.00 We would like to encourage you 00:26:15.84\00:26:17.67 to agree that you will establish 00:26:18.37\00:26:21.97 your home on the foundation of God's Word! 00:26:22.57\00:26:25.25 That you don't argue and debate 00:26:25.55\00:26:27.60 and have to have your way. 00:26:27.63\00:26:29.52 But that you agree that if you disagree 00:26:29.56\00:26:32.65 you're gonna go to the Word of God 00:26:33.13\00:26:34.18 and you're gonna find out what He has to say. 00:26:34.21\00:26:36.41 And resolve your challenges that way, 00:26:36.65\00:26:38.82 because that's where we find 00:26:38.85\00:26:40.49 our greatest strength! 00:26:41.29\00:26:42.36 And this will only happen 00:26:43.63\00:26:45.07 as you are willing to surrender to Christ! 00:26:45.86\00:26:49.99 Because His Word cannot be leaved in our own strength. 00:26:50.78\00:26:55.12 If we're willing to go to His Word then we need 00:26:55.79\00:26:57.61 to be willing to go to Him 00:26:57.64\00:26:58.98 for all the answers and the perplexities. 00:26:59.02\00:27:01.24 Because He is the Solution! 00:27:01.58\00:27:04.03 And we need to turn to Him right now in prayer, 00:27:04.91\00:27:07.10 as we close. 00:27:07.38\00:27:08.35 Let's pray! 00:27:08.73\00:27:09.70 Father in Heaven we thank You that we can turn to You 00:27:10.49\00:27:12.86 that we can come to Your Word as the Foundation, 00:27:13.93\00:27:16.64 the Sure Foundation. 00:27:16.67\00:27:18.39 And that we can come to Christ 00:27:19.00\00:27:20.82 and as we surrender ourselves He will be 00:27:20.85\00:27:23.16 our Living Savior! 00:27:24.72\00:27:26.92 And that He can make our marriages 00:27:27.47\00:27:28.60 Marriages that are Heart to Heart with You! 00:27:28.64\00:27:31.57 And with the one another! In Jesus name Amen! 00:27:31.96\00:27:34.41 Amen! 00:27:34.44\00:27:35.78 And we hope you'll join us for our next program! 00:27:36.20\00:27:38.58 It's gonna be great! It's on the Prayers of Love. 00:27:39.26\00:27:42.51 Prayers that will change your marriage! 00:27:43.11\00:27:45.13 Produced by Three Angels Broadcasting Network 00:28:25.44\00:28:28.01 Captioning and translations by Christian Media Services 00:28:28.04\00:28:30.01