A promise
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to love
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in good times
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and bad
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for richer
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or poorer
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forsaking all others
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as long as
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you both shall live
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MARRIAGE In God's Hands
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Marriage Heart to
Heart with Tom & Alane Waters
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Welcome to
Marriage Heart to Heart
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We are Tom & Alane Waters
with Restoration International
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We are going to be
continuing today in our series
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talking about life
changing principles
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principles that can
change our marriages,
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that can make us have marriages
that are heart to heart!
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So we hope you
have your paper and pen,
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because today we
are going to look at
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what is true love!
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Many people don't even
know what true love really is...
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Yes!
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In fact, we
should ask the question
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Where do we get our
ideas of what true love is
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You know, probably one
of the most important places
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is through our parents!
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Hopefully, our parents
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have given us an
example of what true love is!
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So there are first
role models then, right?
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That is right!
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So the challenge for us
would be as parents ourselves
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to recognize that
we are demonstrating
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and teaching our
children what true love is
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So we better know that
we really understand it
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That is right!
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It puts us in an
important position.
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Unfortunately many,
many young people today
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are finding their role models
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on television
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the DVD's
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the videos
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the movies
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Hollywood's version of love.
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And it is not a
very good version
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Yes, I think a lot of people,
young or old are finding that
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there and that is what causes
them to be discontent in their
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marriage! Because it
is not this romantic scene
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that the women dreams of, or
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she is not the knock-out
that the man is hopeful for.
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Yes, unfortunately
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a lot of people are buying
in to this advertisements.
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You know,
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Find love in the Bahamas!
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That is not really
where we are going to find it.
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We find love where we
choose to find love, right?
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That is right!
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So we are influenced
by the things around us,
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where we... how we define love.
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even the things we read:
the magazines, the books,
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the novels.
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I mean, we travel a lot
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and it is very common,
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Half the women have
some novel in their hands
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and all has to do with love.
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They are searching for
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what is love.
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They are looking for that
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in their experience.
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And, are we really
going to find true love there?
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You know, even in the music
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that we listen to.
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Music can be very
seductive, very sensual,
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even immoral and passionate.
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And, that is not where
people are going to find love.
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And yet music has
a powerful influence
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on peoples minds.
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It seems like everything
around us influences us,
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all those outside
sources, influence us.
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And so much is being
expressed in this area of love
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I mean, it is a
very common topic today!
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Like you said: through music,
magazines, books, TV, radio
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it is
everywhere, signs, billboards
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advertisements,
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even in friendships!
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Even in
friendships, those influence us!
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where is true love?
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I remember one couple
of friends that we knew
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and, they said:
Oh! We wife-swap!
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That's what we do...
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- Shocking! - It is shocking!
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Because that is how we know
how to love the other person.
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I love him better because..
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It is scary when we think of
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where those
influences are leading us.
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And those
influences often lead us away
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from what true love is!
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And want us to think that
it is this romantic ecstasy!
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Yes, and sadly we
are living in a time
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in this earth's history
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as we speak
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where
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a gay community
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can refer
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to love
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as something that
God in His Word refers to
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as an abomination!
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And that is where we
are in this Earth's history!
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And what has become
in years and times past
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completely unacceptable!
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By beholding
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we, as a people, as a nation
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by beholding, we become changed!
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And so, it is
scary as you said Alane,
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It is scary because
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where are people gaining their
understanding of what love is,
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when they enter into a marriage
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So maybe we need to make it very
clear that: when we talk about
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a marriage, we are talking
about male and female union.
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Absolutely.
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We are not talking
about the same sex marriages!
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We are talking about
what the Bible describes
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as the union
between man and women.
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And really when we
go back to the Bible,
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God is the Creator of all.
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He's the Creator of love,
He's the Creator of marriage.
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He's the Author of the
Word and it is in his Word
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that we need to find
the true basis of love!
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the true definition of love.
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And we have talked about
it already in this series.
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Yes, 1st Corinthians 13
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and if you got your Bibles
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you can turn with us
there to 1 Corinthians 13
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because we are going to
refer to this, many times.
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It is the real basis
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for true love.
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Et is the most inclusive
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it is the most clear definition,
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in the pattern that God has
given us of what love really is.
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You know we
shared earlier, Honey
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a previous program about
our first year and some of the
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struggles we
went through and how
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we were wanting to start
right and so we started reading
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1st Corinthians 13
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but after a few month
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and the painful
experience we were having
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we sat the book aside
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because it was hurtful
to read it because we were
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not experiencing that.
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And I am thankful to
say now that I love to read
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that chapter.
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And it does not
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help me to see you
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and what you are not doing.
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It helps me to see
what God wants me to do
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to make our marriage work.
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and to make it happy!
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and to make that love
fulfilling for both of us
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in the marriage.
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So we want to look
at 1 Corinthians 13
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and we are going to take
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each of those very
familiar little segments
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and we want to describe them
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and illustrate them
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and how they work
in the day-to-day.
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Because it is by
taking the scripture
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and making it practical
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that works in our
real life situation,
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It helps un to understand
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what true love is!
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So if we look there, it
says : love suffers long!
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That means love is patient.
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And I can remember when we
first married and I'd said :
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"Honey would you mind
taking the trash out?"
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"Oh, sure!"- you were
very willing! Remember that?
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Oh yes! you were so willing.
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Always "yes!" It was
never: "no, I do not want to"
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but...
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you would forget
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And so... that was OK.
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One track mind
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You do not mean
that one track mind
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And so , then I would
set it by the back door
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"Honey, would you
mind taking the trash out
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when you are going
to work?", "you know,
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just put it in the
trash can in the garage "
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"Oh, fine!" you know?
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And I come out into the
kitchen a little while later
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and it is still
by the back door.
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And so , love is patient!
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That was not for you, but for me
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because, that
used to irritate me.
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"I just asked him!
he agreed, he is willing
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and it is still there.
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"What is wrong??"
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And, you know, the
Lord helped me to see
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you do not always
remember everything either.
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So, before we chew
up on the other person
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let's let God
work in our hearts.
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and help us to be patient.
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So now Honey if I ask
you take the trash out
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and you forget
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it is no problem to me.
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because I am
learning what real love is,
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to be long suffering,
and that is just one example.
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It happens in many
things through the marriage.
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That is right ,
and the beauty of it is
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when we have that kind of love.
And that is a simple example.
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But, by you not responding
to me the way that you did
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early on, it is actually
an incentive for me to make a
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greater effort
on how I take care
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of the trash and not let
myself get pretty occupied
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with something else.
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That is right!
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So it is not that is your
duty to take the trash out,
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but this is just
a simple example.
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It says : love is kind!
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Often times you'll say
something like this to me:
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"Honey, I'd like
you to just go and relax
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and I'll do the dishes for you!"
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I know , when you
would say that to me,
00:08:52.80\00:08:55.18
it is coming from
your heart because
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it is in your
heart to be kind to me.
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Not because I want you to be
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not because I am
forcing you to be,
00:09:01.76\00:09:03.37
or demanding that you must be.
00:09:03.40\00:09:05.18
It is because you
want to be and I know that,
00:09:05.21\00:09:07.88
I sense that in the
words that you express to me.
00:09:07.91\00:09:11.41
and often times I will say:
00:09:11.44\00:09:13.69
"Well Honey, let me at
least drive, rather be with you
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then sitting over there on
the couch all by myself resting"
00:09:17.13\00:09:19.33
And there are times I rest
too, but that is an example
00:09:19.36\00:09:22.07
of how love is kind
and it is demonstrated.
00:09:22.11\00:09:24.81
Love begets love!
00:09:24.84\00:09:26.15
When you sense in me
the real motive the desire
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that I have in
my heart to give you
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a little rest or whatever
00:09:32.27\00:09:34.30
that tenderness, that
then actually makes you want to
00:09:34.33\00:09:37.66
spend more time whit me.
00:09:37.70\00:09:38.95
Always.
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It works great! Yes it does!
00:09:40.50\00:09:42.22
Also: Love envy it not!
00:09:42.26\00:09:45.18
Now, that's an
interesting one, because I think
00:09:45.21\00:09:48.02
most of us do not think
that we are envious people.
00:09:48.06\00:09:52.23
That we are
jealous of other people.
00:09:52.27\00:09:53.81
But you know, I found that
00:09:53.84\00:09:56.89
we still have a
problem in this area.
00:09:57.74\00:10:00.69
I remember, Honey
when we were first married
00:10:00.72\00:10:03.84
and God has blessed you
with a very talented voice
00:10:03.87\00:10:07.25
and I love to hear you sing.
00:10:08.01\00:10:09.71
and you would go over
to your friend's house,
00:10:09.74\00:10:13.16
the quartet would meet
there and the pianist would come
00:10:13.19\00:10:16.23
And you would sing and practice
your music, getting ready for
00:10:16.26\00:10:19.44
a program, a concert.
00:10:19.48\00:10:21.65
And I wanted to be a
part of that so much with you,
00:10:21.68\00:10:25.50
that I started to be
jealous that I could not sing.
00:10:25.53\00:10:28.74
At least sing nicely the
way I thought or perceived
00:10:28.77\00:10:32.34
would have to be good enough
00:10:32.38\00:10:33.87
to sing with you.
00:10:33.90\00:10:34.98
And I started to find
myself becoming envious of that
00:10:35.01\00:10:38.76
and
00:10:39.20\00:10:40.57
I did not like how I felt
00:10:40.60\00:10:42.08
and the more I thought about
it, the better you sang and the
00:10:42.11\00:10:45.29
worst I didn't sing.
00:10:45.33\00:10:46.30
That makes sense?
00:10:47.04\00:10:48.01
But, anyway
00:10:48.60\00:10:49.57
I found myself just...
it was starting to divide
00:10:49.58\00:10:53.49
my heart from you.
00:10:54.04\00:10:55.05
instead of
appreciating that in you.
00:10:55.08\00:10:57.31
And, so, I by the Grace of
God, I've surrendered that.
00:10:57.34\00:11:00.77
and there is
nothing that I envy.
00:11:00.80\00:11:03.12
Isn't that wonderful now?
that we can sing together!
00:11:04.25\00:11:06.52
Yes!
00:11:06.91\00:11:07.88
The whole family
can sing together!
00:11:07.89\00:11:08.86
That is right!
00:11:08.87\00:11:10.02
That if the Lord wants, He does
it that way but with you letting
00:11:10.05\00:11:13.40
go of those things, and
the Lord puts things together
00:11:13.43\00:11:15.97
in a different way.
00:11:16.01\00:11:16.98
Well, there are
a few other things.
00:11:17.39\00:11:20.28
True love vaunteth not itself
00:11:21.32\00:11:23.71
does not put itself forward
00:11:23.74\00:11:25.57
it is not puffed up, it
is not proud and boastful,
00:11:25.60\00:11:29.29
it does not behave
itself in an unseemly manner
00:11:29.32\00:11:32.93
and it seeketh not
00:11:32.96\00:11:35.65
its own...
00:11:36.46\00:11:37.55
That is a lot!
00:11:37.58\00:11:39.37
So they all kind of go together.
00:11:39.40\00:11:41.62
You know, I used to be
00:11:42.13\00:11:43.10
the life of the party!
00:11:44.52\00:11:45.75
And I never understood this
00:11:46.54\00:11:47.89
you know, when we
were first married
00:11:47.92\00:11:50.00
I was the life of the
party and I was always out there
00:11:50.74\00:11:53.72
it was me living
00:11:53.76\00:11:56.21
my self-focused
00:11:56.40\00:11:57.83
you know: "I am
going to do it my way!"
00:11:57.86\00:12:00.57
And I was then fitting you in
00:12:01.17\00:12:02.88
trying to fit you in
00:12:02.91\00:12:04.23
to my lifestyle.
00:12:04.26\00:12:05.92
And I did not
understand it that time
00:12:06.39\00:12:08.29
how inconsiderate
I was being, of you.
00:12:09.26\00:12:11.79
You know? I was doing all these
things. This was not true love!
00:12:12.62\00:12:16.07
I was putting myself forward.
00:12:16.10\00:12:19.29
I was not
really behaving myself,
00:12:19.33\00:12:22.17
in the right manner.
00:12:22.20\00:12:23.76
And if you didn't fit into that
00:12:24.33\00:12:27.37
I wasn't very happy with you
00:12:27.40\00:12:29.35
and
00:12:29.70\00:12:30.91
that is not the
case anymore, is it?
00:12:30.94\00:12:32.47
No, not at all!
00:12:32.50\00:12:33.47
You do not just
get fit into my life.
00:12:33.48\00:12:35.56
You are the most important
person to me on this Earth!
00:12:35.59\00:12:39.76
And I know it!
00:12:39.79\00:12:41.22
And that makes a huge
difference, does not it?
00:12:41.26\00:12:42.47
It does!
00:12:42.50\00:12:43.71
You know, I can remember
more than a few times going
00:12:43.74\00:12:46.51
to a party, with your
friends, or a get-together,
00:12:46.56\00:12:49.41
even a Church social
00:12:49.44\00:12:50.71
and, you know, I knew how
you were - there, and I wanted
00:12:50.74\00:12:55.65
some of that with me.
00:12:55.68\00:12:57.17
And it used to really heart my
feelings because you could be so
00:12:58.01\00:13:01.57
quiet, going there.
00:13:01.60\00:13:03.23
And all of a sudden, I could
watch you enter in to that home
00:13:03.26\00:13:08.25
or that setting
00:13:08.28\00:13:09.25
it is like you came alive!
00:13:10.20\00:13:11.66
and
00:13:12.06\00:13:13.55
it really, you
know, I felt dead!
00:13:13.58\00:13:16.17
When you came alive!
00:13:16.20\00:13:17.51
Because I wanted
you to be alive with me!
00:13:17.54\00:13:19.38
...So, that is what it's talking
about not vaunting itself,
00:13:19.41\00:13:22.95
or being puffed up
or seeking it's own.
00:13:22.98\00:13:25.09
And I have done the same thing.
00:13:25.12\00:13:26.54
You know, maybe women
do it in a different way
00:13:26.58\00:13:29.11
Because, you know, when
we have our husband alone
00:13:29.67\00:13:32.70
we cherish that time
00:13:32.73\00:13:35.02
and so, maybe there is
other ways that we do it,
00:13:35.32\00:13:37.18
but all of us,
have this same weakness
00:13:37.21\00:13:39.71
to some degree or other, so
we have to ask God to help us
00:13:39.74\00:13:43.20
know how to
00:13:43.23\00:13:44.50
understand it
00:13:44.53\00:13:46.30
that we can
change through His power.
00:13:46.33\00:13:48.48
Love is not easily provoked
00:13:48.72\00:13:52.10
That is a big one!
00:13:52.88\00:13:53.85
I have failed so
many times in this area!
00:13:54.92\00:13:57.65
But is not the Lord good?
00:13:57.68\00:13:58.65
And so are you
00:13:59.45\00:14:00.93
To forgive me!
00:14:01.81\00:14:02.78
But the Lord takes those things
and he turns those defeats
00:14:03.07\00:14:06.59
into victories, if we're
willing and desirous of having
00:14:06.62\00:14:09.65
a marriage that
is Heart to Heart.
00:14:09.75\00:14:11.12
And, friends if we
will give ourselves
00:14:11.41\00:14:15.08
to God, and give ourselves
to the one God has given us,
00:14:16.14\00:14:19.61
we can learn these
things, we can learn this love.
00:14:19.64\00:14:23.16
Don't do what we did!
00:14:23.19\00:14:25.37
After we read that 31 versions,
00:14:27.39\00:14:30.61
for a while we gave up on
it, because it was not working.
00:14:30.64\00:14:33.90
And the problem was
that we were not working.
00:14:34.47\00:14:36.76
We were not cooperating
with God, we were not giving
00:14:36.79\00:14:38.98
ourselves to God
and to each other.
00:14:39.01\00:14:41.09
So, don't give up if you
find yourself in a situation!
00:14:41.60\00:14:45.11
because we used to get
provoked of each other and
00:14:45.14\00:14:48.00
we are not having
that experience, because
00:14:48.62\00:14:51.59
it does not have to be that way!
00:14:52.47\00:14:53.74
That is right!
00:14:53.77\00:14:54.74
When I provoked you,
00:14:54.77\00:14:56.67
or when I was
provoked, it let the other one
00:14:57.55\00:15:00.27
to a similar response
00:15:01.02\00:15:02.88
And so, again it would
be something so minuscule
00:15:02.91\00:15:06.65
and the next thing you
know we are in a - you know
00:15:06.68\00:15:09.72
pretty intense conversation,
let us put it kindly.
00:15:09.75\00:15:13.00
So, love is not easily provoked,
you know, when we began
00:15:13.03\00:15:17.49
to learn patience and kindness
00:15:17.52\00:15:19.93
and we are not wanting to
puff ourselves up, those things
00:15:20.96\00:15:24.24
automatically start decreasing
our tendency to be provoked!
00:15:24.27\00:15:27.71
And I remember being in
someone's home once, and my
00:15:27.74\00:15:31.95
heart just went out. I mean,
this lady had made a beautiful
00:15:31.98\00:15:34.15
meal for us! You remember
that? - I remember that!
00:15:34.18\00:15:36.04
She had sat the table,
I mean, it was gorgeous
00:15:36.07\00:15:39.39
It looked like we were
in some exotic restaurant.
00:15:39.42\00:15:41.59
And, she called us all to the
meal. The husband was out in the
00:15:41.62\00:15:45.78
living-room talking with us and
she called us out to the meal.
00:15:45.88\00:15:48.43
And he looked at the
table, and I don't remember
00:15:48.46\00:15:51.69
what she'd done wrong, I
couldn't see anything wrong
00:15:51.76\00:15:53.54
with the table! But, it is like:
00:15:53.57\00:15:55.86
he corrected her! "How
come you did not do this??"
00:15:56.22\00:15:58.64
And "How come you
didn't make that??"
00:15:58.67\00:16:00.77
And he was provoked by
just looking at the table.
00:16:00.81\00:16:04.09
And that was in front of us.
00:16:04.12\00:16:05.56
So, he was easily provoked!
00:16:05.59\00:16:08.44
which began to make
a big influence in her!
00:16:08.82\00:16:12.04
That is right!
00:16:12.08\00:16:13.06
And it was hurtful for her,
00:16:13.09\00:16:14.74
and you could see
the countenance change.
00:16:14.77\00:16:16.19
Well, you can see, friends,
that we are talking about
00:16:16.22\00:16:19.36
maybe some new ways of
looking at 1st Corinthians 13!
00:16:20.14\00:16:23.46
And when we come back from
the break, stay with us because
00:16:23.49\00:16:26.45
we are going to
continue on here, defining what
00:16:26.48\00:16:28.88
true love really is!
00:16:28.91\00:16:32.18
There are many "How
to?" books available,
00:16:37.23\00:16:39.39
but there's one that's free
and perfect for every couple:
00:16:39.42\00:16:42.74
how you can "Build
a Better Marriage".
00:16:42.77\00:16:44.94
Bible-based, matrimonial advice
is given in a lighthearted,
00:16:45.86\00:16:48.81
easy-to-read manner,
00:16:48.91\00:16:50.31
for those contemplating marriage
newlyweds, couples in their
00:16:50.34\00:16:54.10
golden years, and
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00:16:54.16\00:16:56.25
Simply call or write for
your free copy of this amazing
00:16:56.95\00:16:59.98
little booklet, a handy little
tool to help build a better
00:17:00.01\00:17:03.66
marriage. Welcome
back! To "What true love is!"
00:17:11.32\00:17:14.63
We were talking about 1 Corinth.
13 and bringing that out
00:17:14.66\00:17:19.22
in a very
practical and powerful way.
00:17:19.25\00:17:21.63
True love , think it No evil!
00:17:23.52\00:17:25.45
Now, thinketh no evil?? Remember
that time that we borrowed
00:17:26.63\00:17:30.36
Bernard's truck?
00:17:31.65\00:17:32.75
Oh, Yes! I remember!
00:17:32.78\00:17:34.35
And you really were not to happy
with me, borrowing that truck,
00:17:35.15\00:17:37.32
because, why?
00:17:37.35\00:17:38.86
Usually, whenever either of
us borrowed something it seemed
00:17:38.93\00:17:42.42
to get broken somehow!
00:17:42.45\00:17:43.55
Well, I was so careful with that
truck, but there it was coming
00:17:44.34\00:17:48.97
in the driveway
with that loaded lumber
00:17:49.00\00:17:51.03
and you were
coming in right behind me
00:17:51.68\00:17:54.20
and that lumber sled
out and bent the tailgate
00:17:54.23\00:17:58.50
and before you had a
chance to say anything to me,
00:17:58.53\00:18:02.18
I was out of the truck telling
you: "I know what you are
00:18:02.22\00:18:06.09
thinking!"
00:18:06.12\00:18:07.72
I was completely wrong
at what you were thinking!
00:18:08.29\00:18:10.75
You were!
00:18:11.12\00:18:12.35
And I am thankful that you
did not entered into the spirit
00:18:12.80\00:18:15.78
that I had!
Because, I was thinking evil
00:18:15.81\00:18:19.50
about you!
00:18:19.80\00:18:20.91
And all you were
doing was praying for me,
00:18:22.06\00:18:25.08
feeling bad,
because of what it happened,
00:18:25.11\00:18:28.00
to Bernard's
tailgate on it's truck!
00:18:28.03\00:18:30.62
Love think it no evil!
00:18:32.16\00:18:33.74
And I am so thankful
that as we have been willing
00:18:34.59\00:18:37.85
to experience the love of
Christ, that we don't have
00:18:37.88\00:18:42.50
that kind of experience
in our marriage anymore!
00:18:42.53\00:18:45.60
That doesn't mean that
we do not have problems!
00:18:45.63\00:18:47.75
We just want to encourage you,
friends that no matter where you
00:18:47.78\00:18:51.24
find yourself, we can
have a Marriage Heart to Heart,
00:18:51.27\00:18:54.53
that is demonstrating
the true love of Christ,
00:18:54.56\00:18:57.44
as we allow Him to work in us!
00:18:57.47\00:18:59.54
To will and to do
of his good pleasure!
00:18:59.57\00:19:01.81
True love does not
rejoice in iniquity!
00:19:02.75\00:19:05.17
It rejoices in the truth!
00:19:05.20\00:19:07.11
I used to be critical of you!
00:19:07.14\00:19:09.31
And now, I do not have those
kind of feelings toward you.
00:19:09.34\00:19:13.23
I remember I used to come home
and be critical of something
00:19:13.26\00:19:16.97
was wrong or
something didn't get done.
00:19:17.00\00:19:18.94
But as God begin
to work in our hearts,
00:19:19.40\00:19:21.40
giving us that
deeper love, I come home,
00:19:22.82\00:19:26.42
and you'd be working with
the children and I could tell
00:19:26.45\00:19:28.80
something was not going
right in the home-school,
00:19:28.84\00:19:30.83
and rather than
becoming critical,
00:19:30.86\00:19:33.11
I want to encourage you!
00:19:33.14\00:19:34.53
Because: True love does not
rejoice when you have a problem!
00:19:34.56\00:19:38.51
It rejoices in the truth!
It rejoices in what you can be!
00:19:39.22\00:19:42.64
It rejoices in being able to
encourage you and lift you up!
00:19:42.67\00:19:46.45
Rather than to condemn you.
00:19:46.49\00:19:48.34
And I have seen the difference
in that. And then it provides us
00:19:48.38\00:19:52.39
secure environment. So I can
come to you now and tell you:
00:19:52.43\00:19:55.41
This is what I did wrong!
00:19:56.09\00:19:57.32
Or : This is what I
said to the children!
00:19:57.93\00:19:59.90
whatever. And I can come to you
and trust you with my failures,
00:19:59.94\00:20:04.64
and share with you, what
the Lord has done to change me
00:20:04.71\00:20:08.75
in that moment. Or you can
get me encouraged what I can do
00:20:08.93\00:20:12.32
to change to be a better person.
00:20:12.35\00:20:13.38
So, this love truly is not
something we can manufacture.
00:20:13.99\00:20:18.63
It is from God!
00:20:18.66\00:20:19.63
And , we talked
about this before.
00:20:19.64\00:20:21.91
That: Love bears all things!
00:20:22.56\00:20:24.76
That means every
misunderstanding,
00:20:25.26\00:20:27.35
love will bear!
00:20:27.38\00:20:28.56
Because it is God's
love work in our heart!
00:20:28.59\00:20:30.48
It believes all things! I can
believe in you! You know, when
00:20:30.51\00:20:33.90
I stopped being disappointed
that you weren't who and what
00:20:33.93\00:20:42.64
you became the man I wanted!
00:20:43.02\00:20:45.46
A lot of it had to do with my
own attitude, my own thoughts.
00:20:45.49\00:20:48.92
And so, as we believe in the
other person, believe the best
00:20:48.95\00:20:52.98
and they will
try to be the best!
00:20:53.01\00:20:54.67
Love believes all
things! Love hopes all things!
00:20:54.70\00:20:57.93
And : Love endures all things!
00:20:59.56\00:21:03.24
We were talking
before about that.
00:21:03.27\00:21:05.42
Enduring commitment!
Love does endure all things!
00:21:05.45\00:21:08.88
That means that we'll go through
these difficulties together!
00:21:09.35\00:21:12.29
That is right!
00:21:12.33\00:21:13.30
Love endures all things!
00:21:13.31\00:21:15.29
And the good news, the best
news is that : Love never fails!
00:21:15.32\00:21:21.77
Love never fails!
00:21:23.42\00:21:24.39
Jesus won't fail us! And even
know we can fail each other,
00:21:25.24\00:21:28.42
our love does not have to fail!
00:21:28.46\00:21:30.90
That is right! And we can learn
from our failures. And we have!
00:21:30.93\00:21:33.45
That's what's encouraging about
a marriage that's heart to heart
00:21:33.48\00:21:36.01
We can learn from our failures!
When we fall we can rise up
00:21:36.04\00:21:40.68
in the Lord Jesus. We can
repent, confess, move forward!
00:21:40.71\00:21:45.03
Strengthening that bond of love!
00:21:45.91\00:21:47.78
And not holding the
other person in the past.
00:21:47.81\00:21:50.37
Not leaving that person!
"...you did that last week"...
00:21:50.40\00:21:54.47
"you said that yesterday"
00:21:54.50\00:21:55.47
and "...you did it again today"!
00:21:55.50\00:21:56.67
But, Love changes that.
00:21:57.09\00:22:00.42
God's love. And it creates
an atmosphere that is nurturing
00:22:00.45\00:22:05.32
to grow that relationship,
00:22:05.35\00:22:06.82
more and more.
00:22:07.34\00:22:08.78
That's right!
00:22:08.81\00:22:09.78
This kind of love can
not exist in the "me focus"!
00:22:10.07\00:22:14.40
We have talked about the
"me focus" versus the "us focus"
00:22:14.43\00:22:17.66
This kind of love grows as
we're willing to move to the
00:22:18.06\00:22:22.53
"us focus"!
00:22:22.56\00:22:23.53
You know, sometimes people
think, and I used to think this:
00:22:23.56\00:22:27.29
If I can just get
this off my chest!
00:22:27.32\00:22:32.22
If I can just say it!
00:22:32.25\00:22:33.22
If I can just tell my
wife, what I really think!
00:22:33.23\00:22:35.05
Then you are going
to be happy! Right?
00:22:37.56\00:22:38.66
I'll be a happy boy!
00:22:38.69\00:22:39.81
Never works!
00:22:41.50\00:22:42.47
It does not work
for either of us!
00:22:42.69\00:22:43.68
It is one of the lies of devil,
friends! Its is one of the lies:
00:22:43.71\00:22:47.63
If I can just get this out! No!
00:22:47.66\00:22:50.17
It never works!
00:22:50.69\00:22:52.03
And so, the "me focus"
00:22:52.87\00:22:55.35
never brings
happiness, but only misery!
00:22:55.38\00:22:57.67
And, this love, this true
love that God wants to give us,
00:22:58.08\00:23:02.03
Is a love that never fails!!
00:23:02.48\00:23:05.44
That is right! And we have
seen the difference in our home.
00:23:06.08\00:23:08.99
Because, now that we
have learned to "get it out"
00:23:09.03\00:23:12.01
What I think. What I feel.
00:23:12.04\00:23:13.74
Just to get it out, doesn't
really make me any happier and
00:23:14.08\00:23:17.60
certainly does
not make you happy!
00:23:17.63\00:23:18.71
We have made that commitment
in our marriage that :
00:23:19.51\00:23:21.51
the only way that that's
really going to be gotten out
00:23:21.54\00:23:25.42
and that was properly, is
to have God take it out of us!
00:23:26.04\00:23:29.22
And to change what I
am going to say to you.
00:23:29.25\00:23:31.67
So no longer do we
have yelling or intensity or
00:23:32.01\00:23:36.77
condemnation, I mean
this aggressive communication
00:23:36.80\00:23:43.42
in the home.
00:23:43.45\00:23:44.42
And it has provided such a
00:23:44.45\00:23:46.46
happy loving environment. It
doesn't mean we always agree.
00:23:47.35\00:23:51.07
It doesn't mean I see things
the way you always see them!
00:23:51.10\00:23:54.04
But we do not have to go
into one of this matches.
00:23:54.07\00:23:57.52
So, did God just kind of
waved this magic wand over us?
00:23:58.48\00:24:01.05
And sprinkle some dust
down on us? And we were just
00:24:01.08\00:24:03.55
wonderfully changed?
00:24:03.58\00:24:04.55
Well, if it was that easy, we
would all be perfect Christians!
00:24:04.56\00:24:08.58
Wouldn't we? We would all
have perfect homes and perfect
00:24:08.61\00:24:11.01
marriages, and we would
live happily ever after!
00:24:11.04\00:24:13.43
That's not how it works, because
it comes by myself by you and
00:24:13.79\00:24:18.58
by everyone of you there!
Making the choice yourself!
00:24:19.15\00:24:22.20
What will you allow
God to do in your heart!
00:24:22.23\00:24:24.59
So we have to surrender!
00:24:24.62\00:24:25.82
Exactly!
00:24:25.86\00:24:27.12
And it is a hard
thing to surrender!
00:24:28.04\00:24:29.45
Yes! Because you don't feel like
it at the moment! At the moment
00:24:29.48\00:24:31.82
we don't want to surrender!It's
because everything inside of us
00:24:31.85\00:24:35.73
is crying out: I want to
say this! I want to do this!
00:24:35.76\00:24:38.43
I want to feel this way!
00:24:38.46\00:24:39.49
But when we are
willing to surrender,
00:24:40.91\00:24:42.32
God will make the difference!
00:24:42.84\00:24:44.32
And we want to
challenge you today! You know,
00:24:44.82\00:24:47.62
one of the blessings of
the ministry work we have been
00:24:47.65\00:24:50.51
involved is: that we do
not challenge you with anything
00:24:50.54\00:24:54.18
that God has not challenged us!
00:24:54.21\00:24:55.96
Nothing that we bring to you,
00:24:57.60\00:24:59.64
will be new to
us. God is already
00:24:59.67\00:25:02.94
working in us and continuing to
work in these areas of our life.
00:25:02.97\00:25:06.59
But, we want to challenge you,
00:25:06.62\00:25:08.25
to begin to pray, if you have
not been praying specifically!
00:25:09.00\00:25:11.93
Begin to pray that God
will give you this True Love!
00:25:11.96\00:25:16.82
This love that only comes from
God and it's based on 1 Cor. 13!
00:25:16.85\00:25:21.91
Not this worldly
Hollywood version!
00:25:21.94\00:25:24.72
And then, pray that God
will show you the opportunities
00:25:24.75\00:25:28.97
to demonstrate that love. As I
began praying there, for my wife
00:25:29.00\00:25:33.20
God began to show me
00:25:33.23\00:25:35.77
through the day little ways that
I could begin to not respond
00:25:35.80\00:25:44.21
"myself way" but to
respond in a "Christ like way",
00:25:44.24\00:25:45.51
demonstrate love to my wife!
00:25:46.20\00:25:47.17
That First Corinthians
13 love, right? -Yes!
00:25:47.18\00:25:49.64
And that is really the challenge
that you are asking us!
00:25:50.25\00:25:52.65
It is: Look for the way! Is
that we each need to look for
00:25:52.68\00:25:55.93
the ways, that we can
demonstrate the 1 Cor. 13 love!
00:25:55.96\00:25:59.54
That means: there are going to
be times that we give in acts of
00:25:59.57\00:26:03.72
kindness and how we respond and
times that we are willing to be
00:26:03.75\00:26:07.90
restrained and change
the course of our thinking!
00:26:07.93\00:26:10.82
Change our
thoughts! Conscientiously
00:26:10.85\00:26:11.82
making a decision : I am
not going to think that about
00:26:11.85\00:26:14.93
him anymore! I am
going to think this!
00:26:14.96\00:26:17.30
So that's one thing we can do.
In addition to that what would
00:26:17.33\00:26:24.70
ways that your spouse has
demonstrated that love for you!
00:26:24.80\00:26:28.64
that means you are looking
for the good in your spouse.
00:26:28.67\00:26:31.29
This is very important because
many people are so focused
00:26:31.32\00:26:35.31
on the negative. Write it down.
00:26:35.34\00:26:36.81
And then in the evening
communicate the ways that you
00:26:36.91\00:26:39.86
have seen
demonstrated to you, that love!
00:26:39.89\00:26:42.78
And, as you and I talk about
the things that we have seen in
00:26:42.81\00:26:46.22
each other on the day, nurtures
us and motivates us to continue
00:26:46.25\00:26:51.17
to demonstrate that love.
00:26:51.21\00:26:52.90
Well, that is exciting!
00:26:53.96\00:26:54.97
I'm excited that even as we're
sharing this doesn't it make you
00:26:55.00\00:26:59.06
want to even
kindle more of that love?
00:26:59.09\00:27:01.62
Absolutely!
00:27:01.65\00:27:02.83
Why, don't we pray
together!? As we close.
00:27:03.22\00:27:05.36
Father in Heaven what a blessing
to be able to come to You!
00:27:07.86\00:27:10.57
You are the Author of
our love! And we pray that
00:27:14.32\00:27:17.44
for each or one of us
00:27:18.28\00:27:19.35
the viewing audience
00:27:20.06\00:27:21.42
wherever we find ourselves
Lord, we ask that You would
00:27:22.45\00:27:25.86
begin to kindle or rekindle that
love in our hearts and that we
00:27:25.89\00:27:28.82
will look for ways to cooperate
with You! and that we will
00:27:28.85\00:27:31.93
surrender
ourselves to You! And become
00:27:31.96\00:27:33.23
what You can make us! And that
we will truly love one another!
00:27:33.27\00:27:37.90
In Jesus name!
00:27:38.51\00:27:39.69
Amen!
00:27:39.72\00:27:40.88
I am looking forward to our
next time together, when we are
00:27:42.40\00:27:45.09
going to be talking
00:27:45.12\00:27:46.09
about: Developing respect!
00:27:46.12\00:27:48.69
That will be an exciting topic!
00:27:49.51\00:27:51.00
It is! Do not miss it!
00:27:51.03\00:27:52.50
Closed Captions by
Christian Media Services
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