The following program features real clients 00:00:01.36\00:00:03.10 discussing sensitive issues. 00:00:03.13\00:00:05.17 The views and opinions expressed in this program 00:00:05.20\00:00:07.60 don't necessarily reflect 00:00:07.64\00:00:09.20 that of 3ABN's Dare to Dream Network. 00:00:09.24\00:00:11.77 Viewer discretion is advised. 00:00:11.81\00:00:13.71 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin, and welcome to Live To Be Well. 00:00:49.38\00:00:54.68 What is live to be well? 00:00:54.72\00:00:56.08 It's about mind, body and soul, but a full commitment 00:00:56.12\00:01:00.66 to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 00:01:00.69\00:01:03.06 Commitment of motherhood. 00:01:03.09\00:01:05.79 What is a true commitment? 00:01:05.83\00:01:08.16 Well, we're committed to God. 00:01:08.20\00:01:09.66 Of course, that is my desire, commitment to our careers, 00:01:09.70\00:01:13.44 commitment to our health and diet. 00:01:13.47\00:01:15.84 But what about parenting? 00:01:15.87\00:01:17.94 What about being committed as a mother? 00:01:17.97\00:01:20.74 I want to welcome our special guest today. 00:01:20.78\00:01:23.11 Mrs. Ericka Taylor. 00:01:23.14\00:01:24.48 God bless you. 00:01:24.51\00:01:25.85 Welcome, sweetheart. 00:01:25.88\00:01:27.22 Oh, thank you. I'm happy to be here. 00:01:27.25\00:01:28.75 Well, I'm happy to have you now. 00:01:28.78\00:01:30.12 We're just Kim and Ericka, 'cause we grew up together 00:01:30.15\00:01:33.76 at the Burns Seventh-day Adventist Church 00:01:33.79\00:01:36.09 with your grandmother Sister Clady Harris. 00:01:36.12\00:01:38.69 This one it was on Burns, the old Burns Avenue. 00:01:38.73\00:01:41.80 That's right. 00:01:41.83\00:01:43.16 And then we moved over to Cadillac, and Warren. 00:01:43.20\00:01:46.40 But my mother's sister Davemore and Luke, 00:01:46.43\00:01:48.44 they were best friends. 00:01:48.47\00:01:49.80 So who is Ericka Taylor? 00:01:49.84\00:01:52.91 And the commitment of motherhood? 00:01:52.94\00:01:54.78 You have two children? 00:01:54.81\00:01:56.14 Two children. 00:01:56.18\00:01:57.51 An Amazing husband? Yes. 00:01:57.55\00:01:58.88 And you all just celebrated your anniversary. 00:01:58.91\00:02:01.85 And so God is good. 00:02:01.88\00:02:03.22 All the time. All the time. 00:02:03.25\00:02:04.85 So let's talk about the commitment of motherhood? 00:02:04.89\00:02:07.22 What does that mean to you? 00:02:07.26\00:02:08.69 Commitment means that taking care of the gifts 00:02:08.72\00:02:11.99 God has given me. 00:02:12.03\00:02:13.86 My children are gifts from God. 00:02:13.90\00:02:16.33 And He entrusted me with these two souls. 00:02:16.36\00:02:19.07 Yeah. 00:02:19.10\00:02:20.44 And it is my commitment to rear them, 00:02:20.47\00:02:22.47 to guide them and to show them Jesus. 00:02:22.50\00:02:25.47 Yes. Let me ask you this. 00:02:25.51\00:02:27.21 When you say commitment, 00:02:27.24\00:02:28.74 when you talk about the treasures, 00:02:28.78\00:02:30.95 and you know, being a good steward. 00:02:30.98\00:02:33.98 It's our responsibility 00:02:34.02\00:02:35.52 to be a good steward of these children. 00:02:35.55\00:02:37.55 Yes. 00:02:37.59\00:02:38.92 Why is it that, you know, 00:02:38.95\00:02:40.29 when we think about stewardship, 00:02:40.32\00:02:41.66 we think about finances. 00:02:41.69\00:02:43.02 But isn't that a part of motherhood 00:02:43.06\00:02:44.39 being a good steward? 00:02:44.43\00:02:45.76 Yes. 00:02:45.79\00:02:47.13 And we're going to have to answer to God for that. 00:02:47.16\00:02:48.50 Absolutely. All right. 00:02:48.53\00:02:49.86 So what was it like 00:02:49.90\00:02:51.47 when you gave birth to your first child, Jaylen, 00:02:51.50\00:02:54.77 what was it like? 00:02:54.80\00:02:56.14 When I found out I was pregnant with, 00:02:56.17\00:02:57.51 I got on my knees, 00:02:57.54\00:02:58.87 gave her back to the Lord and ask the Lord to bless 00:02:58.91\00:03:02.34 and anoint her life and guide her steps. 00:03:02.38\00:03:05.71 Where does Jordan get this voice from? 00:03:05.75\00:03:08.65 She has a beautiful voice. 00:03:08.68\00:03:10.02 Do you sing? 00:03:10.05\00:03:11.39 No. 00:03:11.42\00:03:14.06 Probably her grandparents and her dad? 00:03:14.09\00:03:18.13 Yes, yes. 00:03:18.16\00:03:19.49 Her Uncle Cory. 00:03:19.53\00:03:20.86 Yes. That's right. 00:03:20.90\00:03:22.23 He's talented. Very talented. 00:03:22.26\00:03:23.60 Yes. 00:03:23.63\00:03:24.97 Let's talk about the character building. 00:03:25.00\00:03:27.17 A lot of times parents put emphasis on the outward 00:03:27.20\00:03:31.01 more so the inward building. 00:03:31.04\00:03:33.27 And I'm not saying anything's wrong with 00:03:33.31\00:03:35.04 having nice clothes and things. 00:03:35.08\00:03:36.81 But sometimes it needs question, 00:03:36.85\00:03:39.38 it needed the question. 00:03:39.41\00:03:40.75 What are we building on? 00:03:40.78\00:03:42.35 And we should be building on the solid rock 00:03:42.38\00:03:44.25 of Jesus Christ. 00:03:44.29\00:03:45.69 So why was that so important for you to build 00:03:45.72\00:03:47.99 your children's character in Christ Jesus? 00:03:48.02\00:03:50.56 Well, because that's who you are, 00:03:50.59\00:03:53.83 your character. 00:03:53.86\00:03:55.20 And that's what you'll take with you, your character. 00:03:55.23\00:03:57.50 And my commitment to my children 00:03:57.53\00:04:00.64 was to be an example of treating people 00:04:00.67\00:04:03.41 the way you want to be treated. 00:04:03.44\00:04:05.44 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 00:04:05.47\00:04:08.34 If you can help someone, help them. 00:04:08.38\00:04:11.31 I just believe that your character is who you are. 00:04:11.35\00:04:15.15 And it's important to me that they are good people. 00:04:15.18\00:04:17.85 Yes. 00:04:17.89\00:04:19.22 Did you talk to your children about, 00:04:19.25\00:04:20.99 you know, fighting and bullying? 00:04:21.02\00:04:23.16 And if someone approached Jordan and touched her? 00:04:23.19\00:04:26.59 Do you have those serious conversations with them? 00:04:26.63\00:04:29.10 Yes, I do. 00:04:29.13\00:04:30.63 As far as bullying, we talk, 00:04:30.67\00:04:35.90 we talk and that we communicate, 00:04:35.94\00:04:38.47 and I always want to keep 00:04:38.51\00:04:39.84 those lines of communication open. 00:04:39.87\00:04:41.94 Yes. 00:04:41.98\00:04:43.31 As far as bullying, I've told Jordan 00:04:43.35\00:04:45.21 if someone has an issue with you, 00:04:45.25\00:04:47.15 where you know something's not right. 00:04:47.18\00:04:48.98 Don't be afraid to go to that person and say, 00:04:49.02\00:04:52.25 hey, have I done anything? 00:04:52.29\00:04:53.62 You know, I need to talk to you. 00:04:53.66\00:04:54.99 Yes. 00:04:55.02\00:04:56.36 I just noticed this, 00:04:56.39\00:04:57.73 you know, have I done anything to offend you. 00:04:57.76\00:04:59.23 Let's talk about it. 00:04:59.26\00:05:00.60 And I said, that takes courage to do that. 00:05:00.63\00:05:02.73 Yes, it does. 00:05:02.76\00:05:04.10 It doesn't mean you're weak, it means you're strong. 00:05:04.13\00:05:06.30 Did you teach your children to pray? 00:05:06.33\00:05:08.00 Oh, absolutely. 00:05:08.04\00:05:10.01 I taught them to pray to have devotion 00:05:10.04\00:05:12.71 to start their day with God to end their day with God, 00:05:12.74\00:05:16.58 but prayer is essential. 00:05:16.61\00:05:19.11 Remember, as mommies, put your hands together, 00:05:19.15\00:05:21.92 it's prayer time, close your eyes, bow your head. 00:05:21.95\00:05:25.85 And when I opened like, okay, and then I remember, 00:05:25.89\00:05:29.39 Erin was like, 00:05:29.42\00:05:30.76 well, how do you know my eyes are open 00:05:30.79\00:05:32.13 if your eyes are closed, okay? 00:05:32.16\00:05:33.70 Because I said, I'm watching you. 00:05:33.73\00:05:35.23 All right. 00:05:35.26\00:05:36.67 And in that commitment to Christ. 00:05:36.70\00:05:38.43 Now, when Jordan was learning her music, 00:05:38.47\00:05:43.04 I mean, just like any young person, 00:05:43.07\00:05:45.81 there's different types of style of music. 00:05:45.84\00:05:48.68 But when you first heard her sing, 00:05:48.71\00:05:50.95 you know, what did that do for you 00:05:50.98\00:05:53.08 to hear her sing in church? 00:05:53.11\00:05:56.25 It brought tears to my eyes. 00:05:56.28\00:05:57.92 Did you cry? 00:05:57.95\00:05:59.29 I did. 00:05:59.32\00:06:00.66 I did, but she would pray as a little girl. 00:06:00.69\00:06:03.09 She would pray with this power. 00:06:03.12\00:06:06.09 And she still has that power today. 00:06:06.13\00:06:07.73 And I'm thinking, this little baby. 00:06:07.76\00:06:09.10 Where is she getting this from? 00:06:09.13\00:06:10.63 You know, because I'm quiet. 00:06:10.67\00:06:12.30 You know, I'm little reserved. 00:06:12.33\00:06:14.20 And I'm thinking, wow, Lord. 00:06:14.24\00:06:15.84 Okay, so I just said, "Have your Way, Lord." 00:06:15.87\00:06:18.64 Yes. 00:06:18.67\00:06:20.01 Have your way. 00:06:20.04\00:06:21.38 It takes me back to Samuel, 00:06:21.41\00:06:22.74 when his mother talked to the Lord and said, 00:06:22.78\00:06:26.05 you give me this child, I will give him back to you. 00:06:26.08\00:06:30.09 And Samuel was taken to Eli. 00:06:30.12\00:06:32.72 And Eli, you know, raised him. 00:06:32.75\00:06:35.46 But that night, we heard the voice of God, 00:06:35.49\00:06:37.83 Samuel, Samuel, he went to Eli. 00:06:37.86\00:06:40.73 And Eli said, you know, I didn't call you. 00:06:40.76\00:06:43.47 He went a second time, Eli, did you call me? 00:06:43.50\00:06:45.77 No. 00:06:45.80\00:06:47.14 He said, "You hear this a third time, just say yes, Lord. 00:06:47.17\00:06:50.44 And so we want to be obedient as Samuels's mother was, 00:06:50.47\00:06:55.01 and she made a promise. 00:06:55.04\00:06:56.58 What are the promises that you have made 00:06:56.61\00:06:59.88 to your children to be there for them? 00:06:59.91\00:07:02.68 I promise my children that I will be there for them, 00:07:02.72\00:07:06.45 because God is there for me. 00:07:06.49\00:07:08.72 And I say whatever it is, I can do, 00:07:08.76\00:07:12.43 you know, and my sacrifice from work, 00:07:12.46\00:07:14.56 running the business, and being there for them. 00:07:14.60\00:07:17.53 Nothing is more important. 00:07:17.57\00:07:19.57 No one is more important to me than them. 00:07:19.60\00:07:22.74 And I just told them that in the scripture 00:07:22.77\00:07:24.57 that God has given me is, 00:07:24.61\00:07:27.14 and all thy children shall be taught of the Lord 00:07:27.18\00:07:29.64 and great shall be the peace of that children. 00:07:29.68\00:07:32.98 And so, I don't want them to be weary, to be worried. 00:07:33.01\00:07:36.65 I want them to have peace. 00:07:36.69\00:07:38.19 And it is my commitment that they have a stable foundation, 00:07:38.22\00:07:42.22 a solid foundation. 00:07:42.26\00:07:43.73 A solid foundation where someone cannot just come in 00:07:43.76\00:07:46.73 and whisper in their ear, 00:07:46.76\00:07:48.40 the enemy and get them to go off the path. 00:07:48.43\00:07:51.63 I know the other day we were talking 00:07:51.67\00:07:53.74 and you really ministered to me about your son Jaylen. 00:07:53.77\00:07:57.74 This past April, I was visiting Oakwood University 00:07:57.77\00:08:02.68 in Huntsville, Alabama. 00:08:02.71\00:08:04.21 And I was looking for a hanger. 00:08:04.25\00:08:07.68 And I couldn't find a particular hanger 00:08:07.72\00:08:09.05 I was looking for. 00:08:09.08\00:08:10.42 So I said let me check Erin's closet down there 00:08:10.45\00:08:13.02 where we have a home there. 00:08:13.05\00:08:14.96 And I couldn't open the door. 00:08:14.99\00:08:17.46 I pushed, employees. 00:08:17.49\00:08:19.26 And I called for Micah, my oldest daughter. 00:08:19.29\00:08:22.26 And as I pushed it open, 00:08:22.30\00:08:24.87 and I said writhing and I said, Erin. 00:08:24.90\00:08:27.87 She was in there crying having a meltdown 00:08:27.90\00:08:31.87 with a blanket overhead. 00:08:31.91\00:08:33.24 She was supposed to be taking a fine with that moment. 00:08:33.27\00:08:35.94 And she looked at me and she said, 00:08:35.98\00:08:37.35 I told you, I can't do this. 00:08:37.38\00:08:40.22 She wouldn't right from losing her father, 00:08:40.25\00:08:43.18 a junior and boarding school right into high school, 00:08:43.22\00:08:47.42 12th grade at Oakwood Academy, 00:08:47.46\00:08:49.49 right into Oakwood University. 00:08:49.52\00:08:51.56 And my daughter said, "Mommy give her a year off." 00:08:51.59\00:08:54.70 But oh no, Dr. Kim, no freshman year, sophomore year, 00:08:54.73\00:08:59.23 junior year, senior year or grad school. 00:08:59.27\00:09:01.50 We're on track, we're not coming off track. 00:09:01.54\00:09:04.04 We are educated people in our family. 00:09:04.07\00:09:06.31 We don't stop going to school. 00:09:06.34\00:09:08.51 That mentality that and what would people say 00:09:08.54\00:09:11.85 or think not you Dr. Kim, 00:09:11.88\00:09:14.32 your daughter has taken a year of school. 00:09:14.35\00:09:16.79 You know, people can be cruel. 00:09:16.82\00:09:19.25 And so Micah said, 00:09:19.29\00:09:20.92 "Mommy, do you hear yourself? 00:09:20.96\00:09:23.69 It's not about you, Mommy, it's about Erin." 00:09:23.73\00:09:27.30 And I said, Erin, I got down on my knees. 00:09:27.33\00:09:29.23 I said, "Erin, I'm here." 00:09:29.26\00:09:31.80 And she said, "It's too late. 00:09:31.83\00:09:33.57 You didn't listen to me. You didn't listen to me." 00:09:33.60\00:09:36.37 My daughter was this close to suicide. 00:09:36.40\00:09:38.27 Yes. 00:09:38.31\00:09:39.64 Jesus. 00:09:39.67\00:09:41.01 And so, I said, "What do I need to do?" 00:09:41.04\00:09:43.31 She says, "I want to finish my exams." 00:09:43.35\00:09:47.02 She went from a 4.0 to 2.5. 00:09:47.05\00:09:52.49 She had two classes. 00:09:52.52\00:09:54.96 And she had her grades in and two incompletes. 00:09:54.99\00:09:58.73 And I said, I talked with the teachers who said, 00:09:58.76\00:10:01.23 don't worry about it, 00:10:01.26\00:10:02.63 and come to find out the classes won't transfer 00:10:02.66\00:10:05.00 to our new school next year. 00:10:05.03\00:10:06.74 Okay. 00:10:06.77\00:10:08.10 And I said, you know, I hear you, forgive me. 00:10:08.14\00:10:12.91 And we shouldn't be ashamed 00:10:12.94\00:10:14.28 to ask our children to forgive us. 00:10:14.31\00:10:15.81 And you mentioned to me that Jaylen didn't go 00:10:15.84\00:10:19.45 right into college after high school. 00:10:19.48\00:10:21.78 He and Erin graduated from eighth grade together. 00:10:21.82\00:10:23.95 You gave him a gap year. 00:10:23.99\00:10:26.39 And you minister to me, let's talk about that? 00:10:26.42\00:10:28.42 Okay. 00:10:28.46\00:10:29.79 Well, Jaylen and Jordan are my son, my daughter, 00:10:29.82\00:10:34.20 Jaylen's my son, Jordan's my daughter. 00:10:34.23\00:10:35.96 And they are two different children. 00:10:36.00\00:10:37.90 My grandmother used to say, she had nine children. 00:10:37.93\00:10:41.27 Each child's needs are different. 00:10:41.30\00:10:44.37 Yes. 00:10:44.41\00:10:45.74 And that's something that I remembered. 00:10:45.77\00:10:48.84 Jordan, she will breeze right through, 00:10:48.88\00:10:51.78 you know, her schoolwork. 00:10:51.81\00:10:54.45 She loves school, she loves, she's outgoing. 00:10:54.48\00:10:56.28 Yes. 00:10:56.32\00:10:57.65 Jaylen, his character, 00:10:57.69\00:10:59.95 he's more quiet. 00:10:59.99\00:11:04.96 He likes to have time to himself. 00:11:04.99\00:11:07.26 He's an introvert. 00:11:07.30\00:11:08.63 He's an introvert. 00:11:08.66\00:11:10.00 So I had to look at the two, my children 00:11:10.03\00:11:12.90 and how their needs are different. 00:11:12.93\00:11:14.87 Yes. 00:11:14.90\00:11:16.24 So Jaylen acts for a break. 00:11:16.27\00:11:20.48 And I say, why not? 00:11:20.51\00:11:23.35 If that's where he needs, why not? 00:11:23.38\00:11:26.51 That's powerful. 00:11:26.55\00:11:27.92 And so that's what we did. 00:11:27.95\00:11:29.28 We took a break. 00:11:29.32\00:11:30.65 And now he's, this is his, this semester, 00:11:30.69\00:11:32.92 he entered college for the first time. 00:11:32.95\00:11:35.19 And he loves it. 00:11:35.22\00:11:36.56 He loves it. 00:11:36.59\00:11:37.93 He needed that time to regroup, 00:11:37.96\00:11:39.96 you know, and to get himself together. 00:11:40.00\00:11:42.63 And I'm proud of him. 00:11:42.66\00:11:44.43 I am. 00:11:44.47\00:11:45.80 Jaylen, although he's quiet, he is a leader in his own way. 00:11:45.83\00:11:49.30 Yes, yes. 00:11:49.34\00:11:50.67 I know, Jaylen, such a sweet young man, very kind. 00:11:50.71\00:11:54.01 And, you know, I get on my knees after talking with you. 00:11:54.04\00:11:56.38 And I said, I'm so ashamed of myself, 00:11:56.41\00:11:58.71 because I was more worried about my image than Erin. 00:11:58.75\00:12:03.08 And what people would say and sure enough, people said, 00:12:03.12\00:12:06.32 you know, Erin is not going back to Oakwood. 00:12:06.35\00:12:08.76 Erin is not going back to school, 00:12:08.79\00:12:10.13 and I let Erin speak. 00:12:10.16\00:12:11.59 And Erin said, I'm taking a gap year, you know. 00:12:11.63\00:12:14.40 And now I'm at a point I think gap years are good. 00:12:14.43\00:12:17.73 And you're right. 00:12:17.77\00:12:19.10 Some children can go right through. 00:12:19.13\00:12:21.40 I was able to go right through. 00:12:21.44\00:12:22.94 My brother, Kurt, he waited till after he get out 00:12:22.97\00:12:25.97 of the military, because he wasn't ready for that. 00:12:26.01\00:12:29.41 You know, my sister Renee, right through, 00:12:29.44\00:12:32.21 you know, but looking at the fact that I know 00:12:32.25\00:12:35.08 what is healthy for my children now. 00:12:35.12\00:12:38.02 And you know what Micah said? 00:12:38.05\00:12:39.42 Oh, Mom, yeah, one who finished gotta be happy. 00:12:39.45\00:12:41.52 All right. 00:12:41.56\00:12:42.89 And then Erin said, I'm going to finish, 00:12:42.92\00:12:44.79 but I need a year off. 00:12:44.83\00:12:46.80 So I think after that, let's talk about 00:12:46.83\00:12:49.50 how you balance your commitment to motherhood, 00:12:49.53\00:12:53.23 marriage, and having your own business? 00:12:53.27\00:12:55.77 All right, and what type of business do you have? 00:12:55.80\00:12:58.04 Okay, I am a licensed cosmetologist. 00:12:58.07\00:13:01.58 And I also have my license to, to sisterlocks. 00:13:01.61\00:13:05.71 Okay, now what is sisterlocks? 00:13:05.75\00:13:07.28 Natural Hair, its micro size locks. 00:13:07.32\00:13:11.45 Are you to intricate? 00:13:11.49\00:13:13.15 I use a tool. You use a tool. 00:13:13.19\00:13:14.76 And there's a locking pattern. 00:13:14.79\00:13:16.12 Oh, I see. 00:13:16.16\00:13:17.49 So for different textures of hair, 00:13:17.53\00:13:18.86 there are different locking patterns. 00:13:18.89\00:13:20.83 You think I could do that look good on me? 00:13:20.86\00:13:22.23 Absolutely. 00:13:22.26\00:13:23.60 Really? Yes. 00:13:23.63\00:13:24.97 We should try that one time, you know? 00:13:25.00\00:13:26.33 Sure. 00:13:26.37\00:13:27.70 I guess my program director Jason Bradley for going ahead. 00:13:27.74\00:13:29.07 All right. 00:13:29.10\00:13:30.44 You know where to find it. Yes. 00:13:30.47\00:13:31.91 So how did you get involved with all of that? 00:13:31.94\00:13:35.04 Well, I love the beauty industry. 00:13:35.08\00:13:38.05 I've always loved doing hair. 00:13:38.08\00:13:41.08 And what happened was, I was in beauty school. 00:13:41.12\00:13:43.15 Okay. 00:13:43.18\00:13:44.52 And I love to, the relationships, 00:13:44.55\00:13:47.22 you know, with women and men. 00:13:47.26\00:13:48.59 Okay. 00:13:48.62\00:13:49.96 But women will come in. 00:13:49.99\00:13:51.33 And it was important to me that they love feeling good, 00:13:51.36\00:13:56.06 not only on the inside, 00:13:56.10\00:13:58.13 and looking good on the outside, 00:13:58.17\00:13:59.87 but I want them to feel good on the inside. 00:13:59.90\00:14:01.47 Yes. 00:14:01.50\00:14:02.84 I remember a client, she came in and she wore a wig. 00:14:02.87\00:14:05.54 She took her wig off and she has so much damage to her hair. 00:14:05.57\00:14:08.64 And she says, "Oh, I need I need a power relaxer." 00:14:08.68\00:14:11.61 And I said, 00:14:11.65\00:14:12.98 "Well, you know what? Let's try something different." 00:14:13.01\00:14:15.08 And she said, "Oh, no, no, no." 00:14:15.12\00:14:16.45 And I said, "Well, the relaxer will further damage your hair. 00:14:16.48\00:14:19.95 Let's just try something different." 00:14:19.99\00:14:21.62 And she said, 00:14:21.66\00:14:22.99 "Oh, no, I have to have this perm. 00:14:23.02\00:14:24.36 And so I went to my instructor and I said, 00:14:24.39\00:14:26.39 "I cannot put a chemical on this lady's hair," 00:14:26.43\00:14:29.60 because it will further damage her hair. 00:14:29.63\00:14:31.33 Yeah. 00:14:31.37\00:14:32.70 I was sent home for that. 00:14:32.73\00:14:35.14 And I prayed and asked God to show me something 00:14:35.17\00:14:39.54 where women can grow their natural hair 00:14:39.57\00:14:43.58 and overcome the stigma 00:14:43.61\00:14:46.98 of not being able to have long hair. 00:14:47.02\00:14:49.58 I said, if you show me what a technique or skill 00:14:49.62\00:14:52.39 where I can do that. 00:14:52.42\00:14:53.86 For women, I will do it 00:14:53.89\00:14:55.39 and God showed me that with sisterlocks. 00:14:55.42\00:14:57.26 And how long have you been doing this? 00:14:57.29\00:14:58.69 Fifteen years. 00:14:58.73\00:15:00.06 What Ericka? 00:15:00.10\00:15:01.43 Fifteen years. 00:15:01.46\00:15:02.80 What a blessing. 00:15:02.83\00:15:04.17 Yes. 00:15:04.20\00:15:05.53 I'm grateful. 00:15:05.57\00:15:06.90 I know you are grateful. 00:15:06.94\00:15:08.27 So looking at the fact that you do this, 00:15:08.30\00:15:10.74 you're able to balance, 00:15:10.77\00:15:12.11 you know, because picking the children up. 00:15:12.14\00:15:14.48 Now, Jaylen, you take him to school, 00:15:14.51\00:15:17.05 you pick him up, he drives? 00:15:17.08\00:15:19.05 All of that. 00:15:19.08\00:15:20.48 All of it. 00:15:20.52\00:15:21.85 Picking them up. 00:15:21.88\00:15:23.22 Jaylen's driving, Jordan's driving. 00:15:23.25\00:15:27.46 My husband helps tremendously. 00:15:27.49\00:15:29.39 Yes. 00:15:29.42\00:15:30.76 I couldn't do it without him. 00:15:30.79\00:15:32.13 Yes, yes. 00:15:32.16\00:15:33.50 So we work together. 00:15:33.53\00:15:34.86 Working together there. 00:15:34.90\00:15:36.97 Who did the children gravitate to 00:15:37.00\00:15:39.13 as far as to both of you when it comes to, 00:15:39.17\00:15:42.20 you know, 'cause sometimes children want to play odds 00:15:42.24\00:15:44.34 against the parents, you know? 00:15:44.37\00:15:45.91 Well, Dad, Mom said, and Mom didn't say anything. 00:15:45.94\00:15:49.01 Or, well, go ask your mother and see what she says, 00:15:49.04\00:15:51.61 you know, who tends to do that? 00:15:51.65\00:15:56.22 I would have to say, Jordan. 00:15:56.25\00:15:58.95 Jordan does that. 00:15:58.99\00:16:01.22 She will definitely, you know. 00:16:01.26\00:16:03.26 And that's for manipulation, you know, but again, 00:16:03.29\00:16:07.06 we want our children to be happy and blessed. 00:16:07.10\00:16:09.80 How do you see God, you know, just developing your life, 00:16:09.83\00:16:14.87 you know, 'cause I know, being a wife, being a mother, 00:16:14.90\00:16:18.44 and I see the children with you, the care of the children. 00:16:18.47\00:16:22.88 What is the most important thing for you 00:16:22.91\00:16:25.68 to make sure that they accomplish? 00:16:25.71\00:16:28.38 The most important thing to me is being there for them, 00:16:28.42\00:16:34.36 listening to them, because they do have a voice. 00:16:34.39\00:16:38.83 They do have feelings. 00:16:38.86\00:16:42.46 And it's just important to me that, 00:16:42.50\00:16:44.77 you know, we're always giving instruction, 00:16:44.80\00:16:48.10 but it's also important to me and I pray for wisdom 00:16:48.14\00:16:52.67 as a parent, you know, to listen to them 00:16:52.71\00:16:58.11 and not to provoke them. 00:16:58.15\00:16:59.48 That's in the Bible. 00:16:59.51\00:17:00.85 That's in the Bible, provoke not, Ephesians Chapter 5, 00:17:00.88\00:17:02.68 "Provoke your children not to do wrong." 00:17:02.72\00:17:04.75 Yes. 00:17:04.79\00:17:06.12 "And children provoke not to your parents." 00:17:06.15\00:17:07.96 You know, I used to give that to Erin every morning. 00:17:07.99\00:17:10.16 Don't provoke me, child. 00:17:10.19\00:17:12.79 So who did the disciplining, you know? 00:17:12.83\00:17:15.03 Did you believe in spanking or more so, 00:17:15.06\00:17:17.37 you know, just the communication? 00:17:17.40\00:17:19.93 Well, I believe in spankings. 00:17:19.97\00:17:21.54 Yes. That is I do. 00:17:21.57\00:17:23.07 Well, the Bible say, you spare the rod, you spoil the child. 00:17:23.10\00:17:26.68 So you know, we spanked, I spanked, 00:17:26.71\00:17:29.54 you know, I used to tap those legs, get those hands. 00:17:29.58\00:17:32.61 And when we were growing up, 00:17:32.65\00:17:33.98 remember that switch bush right in front of the church. 00:17:34.02\00:17:37.79 Parents were stopped by and break off a switch 00:17:37.82\00:17:40.36 before they went into the church. 00:17:40.39\00:17:42.22 Every parent had a switch. 00:17:42.26\00:17:44.53 And we know, all I remember is to do hold up that switch. 00:17:44.56\00:17:47.50 And we didn't look. 00:17:47.53\00:17:48.86 Oh, remember the look. 00:17:48.90\00:17:50.67 That look, you didn't have to even say anything. 00:17:50.70\00:17:52.23 No. 00:17:52.27\00:17:53.60 Get look, have you lost your mind? 00:17:53.64\00:17:55.67 You better sit back, you know, and no chewing gum in church. 00:17:55.70\00:17:59.87 No eating in church, no talking in church. 00:17:59.91\00:18:03.24 And you had your Bible. 00:18:03.28\00:18:04.91 You better sing those hymns. 00:18:04.95\00:18:06.61 All right? 00:18:06.65\00:18:07.98 And you go to the restroom before you leave home. 00:18:08.02\00:18:10.12 Girl, listen, we, my mother would say to us, 00:18:10.15\00:18:14.36 you think you want to use the restroom 00:18:14.39\00:18:15.89 before you leave home? 00:18:15.92\00:18:17.26 Now when you get to church. 00:18:17.29\00:18:18.89 All right, go to Sabbath school. 00:18:18.93\00:18:21.26 And then you have a five minutes... 00:18:21.30\00:18:23.33 A break. Right. 00:18:23.37\00:18:24.70 Sabbath School to 11 o'clock hour. 00:18:24.73\00:18:27.10 But during church service, you wouldn't even move. 00:18:27.14\00:18:30.37 We couldn't. 00:18:30.41\00:18:31.77 Couldn't, you and those ushers, 00:18:31.81\00:18:33.14 remember those ushers at the door? 00:18:33.17\00:18:34.51 Oh, yes. See that was motherhood. 00:18:34.54\00:18:36.04 Though and my mother was a head usher. 00:18:36.08\00:18:37.61 Yes, I remember. 00:18:37.65\00:18:38.98 They have all that power. 00:18:39.01\00:18:40.35 One seat, one seat, but you know, leaving out this door. 00:18:40.38\00:18:42.62 And we have gotten to the point even I see young people walking 00:18:42.65\00:18:47.09 during the benediction, during the altar prayer. 00:18:47.12\00:18:50.69 It all goes back to home training. 00:18:50.73\00:18:52.79 How important has home training been with your children? 00:18:52.83\00:18:56.06 Oh, very important. 00:18:56.10\00:18:58.53 We have devotion. 00:18:58.57\00:19:00.67 When they were younger, we would, I will read them a song. 00:19:00.70\00:19:05.57 Yes. 00:19:05.61\00:19:07.28 Bible, a story. Yes. 00:19:07.31\00:19:09.11 It's just important that you take time 00:19:09.14\00:19:12.41 with your children teaching them God's principles, 00:19:12.45\00:19:16.12 His statutes or His laws, because it's guidance. 00:19:16.15\00:19:20.76 It's a guide on how to live. 00:19:20.79\00:19:22.92 And the principles of that we, 00:19:22.96\00:19:25.53 you know, I believe in the eight principles of health, 00:19:25.56\00:19:27.86 and I understand that we need rest, we need sunshine. 00:19:27.90\00:19:32.03 We need to have a good diet. 00:19:32.07\00:19:33.97 We need exercise. 00:19:34.00\00:19:35.50 We need to study the Word of God. 00:19:35.54\00:19:37.27 We need to be in His presence. 00:19:37.31\00:19:39.64 You know, have you ever gone into your children's room 00:19:39.67\00:19:44.81 3 o'clock in the morning and just pray? 00:19:44.85\00:19:47.68 I do it now. 00:19:47.72\00:19:49.05 You still do it? 00:19:49.08\00:19:50.42 I still do it. 00:19:50.45\00:19:51.79 I open their door. Yes. 00:19:51.82\00:19:53.15 And I just stand over them and I pray. 00:19:53.19\00:19:55.42 Yes, yes. 00:19:55.46\00:19:56.79 I did it all with Micah. 00:19:56.83\00:19:58.33 Arthur used to say, "What are you doing?" 00:19:58.36\00:20:01.13 I said, "You need to get up." 00:20:01.16\00:20:02.76 And he said, I think he said, "The mother needs to do that." 00:20:02.80\00:20:05.97 And he would do with me a few times out of the month. 00:20:06.00\00:20:09.97 He said, "It was just the most beautiful thing 00:20:10.01\00:20:12.07 to pray by the bedside of your children, and the covering." 00:20:12.11\00:20:16.41 And I used to take my anointing or the anointing, 00:20:16.44\00:20:19.58 the Bible says, the anointing breaks the yoke. 00:20:19.61\00:20:22.85 So I will take my oil, we know it's 00:20:22.88\00:20:24.75 no power in the oil, it's the faith. 00:20:24.79\00:20:26.99 And I anointed the head posts all way around 00:20:27.02\00:20:30.29 my children's room then. 00:20:30.33\00:20:32.49 And Lord, I sprinkle on their gym shoes. 00:20:32.53\00:20:35.00 Yes, I did. 00:20:35.03\00:20:36.36 And the oil when we, we anoint, we anointed them, 00:20:36.40\00:20:40.44 and we bless them, and we gave them back to the Lord. 00:20:40.47\00:20:43.94 You know, do you remember your baby blessing? 00:20:43.97\00:20:45.67 I do. You do? 00:20:45.71\00:20:47.04 I do too. I do. 00:20:47.08\00:20:48.41 It was so special. 00:20:48.44\00:20:49.78 It was very precious to lift the babies 00:20:49.81\00:20:51.88 and give them to the Lord. 00:20:51.91\00:20:53.31 This is something we do 00:20:53.35\00:20:55.05 in the Seventh-day Adventist Church, 00:20:55.08\00:20:56.89 and about five months, for about four months into, 00:20:56.92\00:21:01.22 we give them back to the Lord with a beautiful service, 00:21:01.26\00:21:05.09 where the pastor prays over the child. 00:21:05.13\00:21:07.86 And the pastor lifts the child. 00:21:07.90\00:21:09.73 Now remember roots, the movie roots. 00:21:09.76\00:21:11.77 And lift that child over the pastor takes the child 00:21:11.80\00:21:15.57 because that child does not belong to us. 00:21:15.60\00:21:17.91 That child is given back to the Lord in service for God. 00:21:17.94\00:21:21.84 Amen. 00:21:21.88\00:21:23.21 What do you think are some of the challenges 00:21:23.24\00:21:24.75 we face today as mothers? 00:21:24.78\00:21:27.65 Just being too busy. 00:21:27.68\00:21:29.65 Working. 00:21:29.68\00:21:31.02 Busy? 00:21:31.05\00:21:32.39 Yes, working, technology, the phones... 00:21:32.42\00:21:37.93 A cell phone. 00:21:37.96\00:21:39.29 Cell phone, 00:21:39.33\00:21:40.83 I try to monitor and it's just so much going on. 00:21:40.86\00:21:45.37 That's a challenge for me. 00:21:45.40\00:21:47.07 And most of my friends, parents, 00:21:47.10\00:21:50.37 that's the one thing we have in common 00:21:50.41\00:21:53.14 with as a challenge for our children is the phone. 00:21:53.17\00:21:56.81 Yeah. 00:21:56.85\00:21:58.18 And that's a real challenge. 00:21:58.21\00:21:59.55 Because they spend a lot of time on their phones. 00:21:59.58\00:22:01.78 And they're not always doing their homework? 00:22:01.82\00:22:03.25 And you don't know what they're doing, right? 00:22:03.28\00:22:04.62 Absolutely. 00:22:04.65\00:22:05.99 I remember, Erin knocked me off on one of the social medias. 00:22:06.02\00:22:09.56 She said, "Mommy, your energy is just not good." 00:22:09.59\00:22:12.69 And I said if I can't be on your, 00:22:12.73\00:22:14.93 following you, you can't be on. 00:22:14.96\00:22:17.70 And I follow Micah on all her social medias. 00:22:17.73\00:22:21.50 I follow Jordan, Jordan follows me. 00:22:21.54\00:22:24.84 I was just looking at some of the pictures 00:22:24.87\00:22:28.74 we took yesterday with your daughter. 00:22:28.78\00:22:30.68 And I was like so blessed. 00:22:30.71\00:22:33.28 Jordan said to me just yesterday, 00:22:33.31\00:22:36.12 you know, I want to join your sign language choir. 00:22:36.15\00:22:39.55 Now she's in school. 00:22:39.59\00:22:41.32 She's very busy. 00:22:41.36\00:22:42.72 How do you say to your child? 00:22:42.76\00:22:45.06 All right, you have this on your plate, 00:22:45.09\00:22:46.73 you got this on your plate? 00:22:46.76\00:22:48.10 This? 00:22:48.13\00:22:49.46 Do you ever say no, you can't do that 00:22:49.50\00:22:51.53 because you're doing too much right now? 00:22:51.57\00:22:54.74 No, we'll find a way. 00:22:54.77\00:22:57.51 Yes. We'll find a way. 00:22:57.54\00:22:59.07 School, his or her academia it's very important. 00:22:59.11\00:23:01.74 Yes. 00:23:01.78\00:23:03.11 But her spiritual walk is important to me too. 00:23:03.14\00:23:06.75 So we just have to find balance. 00:23:06.78\00:23:08.38 And it takes a village. 00:23:08.42\00:23:10.12 It takes a village. 00:23:10.15\00:23:11.49 You know, I'm not doing every everything. 00:23:11.52\00:23:13.76 You know, I have helped you, have... 00:23:13.79\00:23:15.36 Yes. 00:23:15.39\00:23:16.73 Definitely so season to my child's life. 00:23:16.76\00:23:19.76 I support her and our family. 00:23:19.79\00:23:21.43 There's so many. 00:23:21.46\00:23:23.33 So no, I don't tell her now. 00:23:23.37\00:23:25.27 All right. I can appreciate that. 00:23:25.30\00:23:27.57 I remember that when you first came to church. 00:23:27.60\00:23:32.27 Tell us how you became a Seventh-day Adventist? 00:23:32.31\00:23:35.24 My grandmother Sister Clady Harris. 00:23:35.28\00:23:38.25 And actually it was my Uncle Jerome. 00:23:38.28\00:23:40.28 He was taking Bible studies with a friend. 00:23:40.32\00:23:43.39 And my grandmother. He was just different. 00:23:43.42\00:23:45.45 And he was coming home and he was talking about Jesus. 00:23:45.49\00:23:47.66 And she says, well, you know, I want to go, 00:23:47.69\00:23:50.29 I want to know what's going on because he was so excited. 00:23:50.33\00:23:53.50 She was actually attended a Baptist Church. 00:23:53.53\00:23:55.40 Yes. 00:23:55.43\00:23:56.77 And the pastor spoke about the Sabbath. 00:23:56.80\00:23:58.57 And it was the first day church. 00:23:58.60\00:24:00.20 And so she says, Well, it looks like to me 00:24:00.24\00:24:02.94 the Sabbath is on a Saturday, 00:24:02.97\00:24:04.97 and it's the seventh day of the week. 00:24:05.01\00:24:06.34 So she went and looked at the calendar on the wall. 00:24:06.37\00:24:08.61 She says, okay, and so she asked God 00:24:08.64\00:24:11.15 if He would show her a church 00:24:11.18\00:24:13.48 where they worship on Sabbath, she will go. 00:24:13.52\00:24:15.92 She just want to know the truth. 00:24:15.95\00:24:17.29 She want to know the truth. 00:24:17.32\00:24:18.65 And what happened was when as my uncle was taking Bible 00:24:18.69\00:24:21.72 studies, the Bible workers were Adventists, 00:24:21.76\00:24:25.63 but they never said anything. 00:24:25.66\00:24:27.00 They never said anything. 00:24:27.03\00:24:28.36 So when my grandmother went and started having a study, 00:24:28.40\00:24:30.80 she asked them, you know, just after probably 00:24:30.83\00:24:33.87 two or three studies, "Well, what church do you belong to?" 00:24:33.90\00:24:36.34 And they said, "Burns Seventh-day Adventist Church." 00:24:36.37\00:24:39.51 That was the center church, I think at the time. 00:24:39.54\00:24:41.54 Yes, the center church. 00:24:41.58\00:24:42.91 And the movie it was. 00:24:42.94\00:24:44.28 Yeah, old one, Grass It Out. 00:24:44.31\00:24:45.65 Yeah, on Grass it. 00:24:45.68\00:24:47.02 And so that's how and we switched from Baptist Church, 00:24:47.05\00:24:49.58 I might have been four. 00:24:49.62\00:24:50.95 Four years old, and you became a Seventh-day Adventist. 00:24:50.99\00:24:54.02 Any regrets? 00:24:54.06\00:24:55.39 None. None. 00:24:55.42\00:24:56.76 You believe that the Seventh-day Adventist 00:24:56.79\00:24:58.23 message is the remnant message. 00:24:58.26\00:24:59.66 Yes. 00:24:59.69\00:25:01.03 And you believe that Saturday is a Sabbath Day. 00:25:01.06\00:25:03.50 You know, when we repeat, 00:25:03.53\00:25:04.87 remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy, 00:25:04.90\00:25:07.20 six days shall thy labor and do all thy work. 00:25:07.24\00:25:09.94 But the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord 00:25:09.97\00:25:13.17 thy God, in it thou shall not do any work, 00:25:13.21\00:25:16.48 you know, and I used to get articles. 00:25:16.51\00:25:17.88 He's like to polish his shoes on the Sabbath. 00:25:17.91\00:25:20.58 He said, this is not work. 00:25:20.62\00:25:22.02 This is to do good on the Sabbath, 00:25:22.05\00:25:23.79 my shoe need to shine. 00:25:23.82\00:25:25.15 And I said, you can shine your shoes on Wednesday, all right, 00:25:25.19\00:25:28.59 so being a witness, and I think that's how my husband 00:25:28.62\00:25:32.19 became a Seventh-day Adventist, being a witness 00:25:32.23\00:25:35.13 and you have introduced your children. 00:25:35.16\00:25:37.23 They were born and raised 00:25:37.27\00:25:38.77 and they're being raised in this message, 00:25:38.80\00:25:40.87 my children and Arthur accepting this message. 00:25:40.90\00:25:44.54 And your grandmother will not have an empty crown. 00:25:44.57\00:25:48.21 Your star is on your name, is on her crown. 00:25:48.24\00:25:51.78 And Jordan and Jaylen is on your crown. 00:25:51.81\00:25:55.02 You know, and I thank God. 00:25:55.05\00:25:56.79 We have about a minute and a half to go. 00:25:56.82\00:25:58.65 Okay. 00:25:58.69\00:26:00.02 What words of wisdom can you share with me as a mother 00:26:00.06\00:26:02.96 because truly you have poured into me, 00:26:02.99\00:26:04.96 regarding Erin's gap year? 00:26:04.99\00:26:07.43 Well, is to listen to our children. 00:26:07.46\00:26:13.27 I always ask God to let me see my children as You see me. 00:26:13.30\00:26:18.77 Yes. 00:26:18.81\00:26:20.14 And as You see them, let me look through Your eyes 00:26:20.18\00:26:22.94 if I can, you know, to hear their heart. 00:26:22.98\00:26:27.02 And that's my greatest... That's my conviction, 00:26:27.05\00:26:31.05 because they are souls, precious souls. 00:26:31.09\00:26:34.22 And I want to do good. 00:26:34.26\00:26:35.69 You know, God trusted me with them. 00:26:35.72\00:26:38.03 And I just want to be there. 00:26:38.06\00:26:39.69 I tell them no matter what, you can always come home. 00:26:39.73\00:26:42.56 Come on now. 00:26:42.60\00:26:43.97 You don't think anything is too bad or you can't come? 00:26:44.00\00:26:48.54 Come home. Come home. 00:26:48.57\00:26:50.54 See and I think that's so important. 00:26:50.57\00:26:52.57 Ericka, I want to thank you for being with us 00:26:52.61\00:26:54.58 today on Live To Be Well. 00:26:54.61\00:26:56.31 You were amazing. 00:26:56.34\00:26:57.68 You look beautiful. 00:26:57.71\00:26:59.05 Thank you. 00:26:59.08\00:27:00.42 And I'm so happy that you are my sister in Christ, 00:27:00.45\00:27:02.65 that we have grown up together 00:27:02.68\00:27:04.05 in the Seventh-day Adventist message. 00:27:04.09\00:27:05.79 And that I love you, you love me 00:27:05.82\00:27:07.69 and we love each other and our family. 00:27:07.72\00:27:09.06 Oh, I love you, Kim. 00:27:09.09\00:27:10.43 God bless you, Ericka. Thank you. 00:27:10.46\00:27:11.79 Let me say this to all of us, including myself. 00:27:11.83\00:27:15.96 It takes a commitment to serving God. 00:27:16.00\00:27:18.50 It takes a commitment to share your gifts and talents 00:27:18.53\00:27:21.30 that God has given us, 00:27:21.34\00:27:23.30 is a commitment is a relationship. 00:27:23.34\00:27:26.01 It is an opportunity for us to be 00:27:26.04\00:27:29.14 a witness to everyone we meet. 00:27:29.18\00:27:31.28 I encourage you as mothers, as fathers, 00:27:31.31\00:27:33.75 as parents, to study the Word of God 00:27:33.78\00:27:36.42 to be able to impact and empower you 00:27:36.45\00:27:39.15 and your children, your family. 00:27:39.19\00:27:40.96 Pray for me, pray for Ericka as we go forth. 00:27:40.99\00:27:44.26 I'm Dr. Kim, live to be well. 00:27:44.29\00:27:46.76 God bless. 00:27:46.80\00:27:48.13