The following
program features real clients
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discussing sensitive issues.
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The views and opinions
expressed in this program
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don't necessarily
reflect that of 3ABN's
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Dare to Dream Network.
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Viewer discretion is advised.
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Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan-Nowlin,
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and welcome to Live To Be Well.
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What is Live To Be Well?
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Mind, body and soul,
feeling complete, first of all,
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in Jesus Christ,
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understanding your path with God
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and having the
faith to see it through.
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Well, I'm excited
about today's guest,
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Dr. Charlotte Winston.
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Welcome to Live To
Be Well. Thank you.
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Thank you for inviting
me. Oh, you're very welcome.
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I want to just get
right into your testimony.
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So share with our
viewers, your testimony?
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Well, always to
start, God is good.
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Yes, He is.
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And so my story
has many segments,
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many chapters,
starting off young.
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I'm living with my parents
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who divorced when
I was a young girl.
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I was an angry
girl. I wasn't bad.
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I didn't get
into a lot of trouble,
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but I was very angry.
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And later on,
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I went to live
with my grandmother
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and my
grandmother showed me love.
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She showed me love.
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She taught me how to love. Amen.
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And so from
that point, you know,
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years later I got married.
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Yes.
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Had children. Yes.
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How many children?
I have three children.
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Yes. Yes.
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And my story pretty
much started to change
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and began at that point.
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I see.
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Now, during that time,
after marriage years later,
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you moved to Japan?
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Yes.
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You were living in
San Diego, California
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then came back to Michigan?
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Yes.
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And your husband
was in the military?
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Yes.
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And then after that you ended up
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divorcing your husband?
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Yes.
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Can you tell us a
little bit about that?
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Well, as you
stated, I married young,
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straight out of high school,
one year out of high school.
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Really?
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And my husband at that
time, he was in the Navy.
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He went to the Navy.
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I had my first
child here, my first son,
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he was born here
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before my husband
went into the military.
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My second child, after I went
over to Japan to live with him,
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I had my second
son, my middle child.
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And then when we
moved to San Diego,
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I had my daughter.
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And so, I was
married for 30 plus years.
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Is that right? Yes.
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So although I was
young in the marriage,
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you know, I was
very mature for my age.
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So I made sure that
things were taken care of.
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And it was at that point,
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I started to create my identity
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through my
husband and my children.
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I see. So.
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So a lot of times what happens,
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we get lost being the
caregiver of someone else
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and you don't have to be sick
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or have someone sickly in
your home to be so devoted.
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And I'm not
saying we shouldn't be
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devoted as wives and mothers,
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but we cannot lose who we are.
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So how did this whole
process did you find your way
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to becoming Dr. Charlotte?
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Well, you know,
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the plan of God,
because as I stated before,
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my identity was created through
being a mom and a wife, right.
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Yes.
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And so even something as
simple as going to the store
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to buy something for myself,
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turned out to be me
coming home with everything
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that they
needed, all of my needs
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were disregarded
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and not because I was made to,
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but that's because
of who I was, you know.
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And that's because
of the type of love
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that my grandmother showed me.
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So I learned to be that
person through, a giver, right.
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And I found it very hard
to receive even still today.
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I found it hard.
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I find it sometimes hard
to receive or ask, right?
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So, at some point
in time, you know,
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I always knew that I
wanted to go back to school.
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Didn't know how I
was going to do it.
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Didn't know when I
was going to do it,
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but I knew that
I wanted to do it
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because I wanted
to be in a position
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so as my kids grew older,
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I would be able to
accommodate their needs.
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I understand.
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So, I tried going back, well,
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I went to school
straight out of high school
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that didn't work,
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came home from
high school with child.
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And then I, later,
after I got married,
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when we were
stationed in San Diego,
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I went to college,
community college there,
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didn't finish.
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And then at some point
after we returned to Detroit,
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there was a program offered
through the city of Detroit
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that provided an opportunity
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to go to Wayne State
for two years at no cost.
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Well, I had to take a test
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to be admitted into the program.
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And I took the test.
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I passed the test
and congratulations,
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you're admitted into
this program for two years.
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But at that time, my
self-esteem was so low.
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I'm like, they must
have made a mistake.
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Wow. Yeah.
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They must have made
a mistake, I'm like.
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You didn't believe it.
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I didn't believe it
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nor that I think
that I was worthy of it.
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So I started the program
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and after being in the
program for about a month,
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because the first month,
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the first semester I was
a non-matriculated student.
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So they were kind of prepping us
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for college level matriculation.
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So, I saw all of these
young students around me,
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although there were
older women in the program
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because that's what
the program was about.
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And I said, you know
what? I am not going to do this.
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So I remember Mrs. Wolf,
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she was the person
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who came and told me, no,
quitting is not an option.
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Is not an option.
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So there's always
somebody on your path,
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God places on your path.
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A vessel, yes. Oh, yes, yes.
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So, I, she called me
on the phone and she said,
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"Charlotte, where are you?"
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And I'm like,
"Well, I'm at home."
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"And what are you doing?
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Why weren't you in class today?"
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Well, I don't
think this is for me.
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She said, "I'll
see you tomorrow."
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So it wasn't an option.
Miss Wolf wasn't playing.
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Miss Wolf wasn't playing.
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I like that. I love that.
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So I went to
class and, you know,
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in the back of my mind, I
told myself that I couldn't,
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but God kept telling
me, oh, yes, you can.
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Yes, you can.
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And I had to think of
people like my grandmother,
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I always saw my grandmother
worked physically hard.
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Did you?
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Physically hard
whether she caught the bus,
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whether she got a ride,
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she got up every single morning,
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Monday through Friday to...
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She was a cook to go to work.
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And she did what
she was supposed to.
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And she did what
she was supposed to do.
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And she took care of me.
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She didn't have
to take care of me,
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but she allowed me to
come into her household
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and she raised me as her own.
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And I knew that I
owed that much to her.
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Yes, yes, so. That is amazing.
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So, all right.
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So you finished
the two year program?
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Yes. And then what happened?
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I finished the two year program
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and then I was
reading the campus paper
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and I saw this another program
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that would pay for
the final two years
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of your undergraduate education.
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And so it was a research
based program and I'm like,
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"Okay, I've always
wanted to do research,"
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not fully understanding
what research was about, right?
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And not fully
understanding or knowing
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how I could possibly
become a part of that.
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So, I saw that ad in the paper.
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And as I was applying,
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I was working for a
program at Wayne State.
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And I was telling
one of my co-workers
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about the program.
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She told me, she said,
well, my mom knows doctor,
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the doctor that was the
director of this program.
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And his program is
really hard to get into.
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Well, that was an
immediate deterrent, right.
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And I told
myself, no, but God said,
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oh, yes, you will.
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I'm just telling you.
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So I submitted that application.
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He interviewed
us and hey, I got.
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You were
accepted? I was accepted.
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So another free ride...
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Another free ride.
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To Wayne State University...
Wayne State University.
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And that completed
your undergrad degree?
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That completed my
undergraduate degree.
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So after that, I went
out into the workforce,
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you know, thinking I was
going to be this millionaire,
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but that wasn't the case.
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I always knew that I
wanted to be in a position
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of service before, right?
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But I just, so I found
myself doing case management
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for nonprofit and then later
on for the state of Michigan
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and then I just
wasn't fulfilled.
00:09:20.29\00:09:23.19
So I wanted to go back.
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So, I called the director
of the undergraduate program
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because I knew that
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he was directing
the graduate program.
00:09:28.36\00:09:30.67
And so he said, well, Charlotte,
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you have to find a program
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that terminates at the PhD level
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with the terminal degree.
00:09:36.94\00:09:38.67
And I'm like, okay.
00:09:38.71\00:09:40.04
So it took me
about a year and a half,
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two years to figure
out because my undergrad,
00:09:42.18\00:09:44.65
I got a bachelor's
of science in psychology
00:09:44.68\00:09:47.85
because I thought about nursing.
00:09:47.88\00:09:49.38
I thought about a
lot of different things,
00:09:49.42\00:09:50.92
but I enjoyed science.
00:09:50.95\00:09:53.15
And so I had to figure
out what I wanted to do.
00:09:53.19\00:09:56.52
And then when I told him
00:09:56.56\00:09:58.29
that I was interested
in the sociology program,
00:09:58.33\00:10:01.40
he said, "Okay."
00:10:01.43\00:10:02.76
He said, well,
00:10:02.80\00:10:04.13
I went to his office and
I told him, I said, "Hey,
00:10:04.17\00:10:05.97
I want to finish, you know,
00:10:06.00\00:10:07.77
I want to earn my
doctorate degree."
00:10:07.80\00:10:10.31
And so he told me
that he would fund me
00:10:10.34\00:10:12.94
and that he did,
he kept his word.
00:10:12.97\00:10:15.11
And so as I was working
for the state of Michigan,
00:10:15.14\00:10:18.81
I applied and I
finished some pre-recs.
00:10:18.85\00:10:21.85
And then after I
finished those pre-recs,
00:10:21.88\00:10:23.99
I went full time
because his program,
00:10:24.02\00:10:25.89
you couldn't
work and go to school.
00:10:25.92\00:10:27.42
Could not.
00:10:27.46\00:10:28.79
So I was excited
and I told people,
00:10:28.82\00:10:30.39
"Hey, I'm no longer
going to be employed
00:10:30.43\00:10:32.53
with the state of Michigan."
00:10:32.56\00:10:33.90
And a lot of people
thought I was foolish.
00:10:33.93\00:10:35.76
A lot of people
thought I was foolish
00:10:35.80\00:10:37.20
for making that decision.
00:10:37.23\00:10:38.83
Because there was no money?
00:10:38.87\00:10:40.54
I mean, there was a stipend,
00:10:40.57\00:10:41.97
but there with a
stipend that was, you know, so.
00:10:42.00\00:10:43.97
Yes.
00:10:44.01\00:10:45.34
So they felt, and then a
lot of times people feel like
00:10:45.37\00:10:47.18
you're leaving them
behind, you're following,
00:10:47.21\00:10:50.01
you're stepping out there,
00:10:50.05\00:10:51.55
this vision that
God has given me,
00:10:51.58\00:10:53.15
I'm going to see it through.
00:10:53.18\00:10:54.55
So then what happened?
00:10:54.58\00:10:56.35
And then, now years later,
00:10:56.38\00:10:58.25
so I finished up
my master's degree.
00:10:58.29\00:11:01.76
And what was your master's
in? Sociology. Sociology.
00:11:01.79\00:11:04.59
And then seven
years later, after that,
00:11:04.63\00:11:06.80
I finished up my PhD
00:11:06.83\00:11:08.60
as I was working
00:11:08.63\00:11:10.17
at the graduate
school for Wayne State.
00:11:10.20\00:11:13.23
And I was teaching, right,
00:11:13.27\00:11:14.87
a lot of things that I
wasn't supposed to be doing
00:11:14.90\00:11:17.54
as far as teaching.
00:11:17.57\00:11:18.91
They want you to finish,
00:11:18.94\00:11:20.28
but I had to do
what I had to do.
00:11:20.31\00:11:21.64
I had a family.
You had a family.
00:11:21.68\00:11:23.01
So I, you know,
made, God made a way.
00:11:23.04\00:11:25.28
God made a way. You
know, again, God made a way.
00:11:25.31\00:11:27.62
If it had not been for the Lord
on my side, where would I be?
00:11:27.65\00:11:31.39
Yes, so it was all His doing,
00:11:31.42\00:11:33.72
all His timing
because it was nothing
00:11:33.76\00:11:36.52
that I had ever
planned for myself.
00:11:36.56\00:11:39.13
Look at this.
00:11:39.16\00:11:40.50
So your self-esteem level,
00:11:40.53\00:11:41.86
did it begin to increase
as you were going further
00:11:41.90\00:11:45.37
and further in your
educational endeavors?
00:11:45.40\00:11:47.34
It did. People were shocked.
00:11:47.37\00:11:49.87
Were people surprised?
00:11:49.90\00:11:51.24
Did they think you
were going to give up?
00:11:51.27\00:11:53.68
I think a lot of
people hoped that I gave up.
00:11:53.71\00:11:58.01
Whether they, and
they probably thought
00:11:58.05\00:11:59.48
that I would, you know,
00:11:59.51\00:12:01.02
I was the first
person in my family
00:12:01.05\00:12:03.75
and the first person
in my husband's family
00:12:03.79\00:12:06.15
to go that far.
00:12:06.19\00:12:07.52
Is that right?
00:12:07.56\00:12:08.89
But I definitely
was the first person
00:12:08.92\00:12:10.26
in my family to
earn a bachelor's degree,
00:12:10.29\00:12:12.03
a master's degree and a PhD.
00:12:12.06\00:12:14.93
Congratulations.
Well, thank you.
00:12:14.96\00:12:16.77
That's a very amazing legacy.
00:12:16.80\00:12:20.50
You know, let me talk
about women today that,
00:12:20.54\00:12:23.44
you know, being a
university professor,
00:12:23.47\00:12:26.47
and again, I salute you.
00:12:26.51\00:12:28.04
I'm so proud of
you and praise God.
00:12:28.08\00:12:30.45
What is the block for
especially African-American
00:12:30.48\00:12:34.48
women to move forward?
00:12:34.52\00:12:36.75
You know, I know
they have maybe family,
00:12:36.79\00:12:39.22
children responsibility,
but they, and as we move into,
00:12:39.25\00:12:44.89
we're talking
about domestic violence.
00:12:44.93\00:12:46.46
We're talking
about breast cancer.
00:12:46.49\00:12:48.56
We're talking about...
00:12:48.60\00:12:49.93
There's so many things
that's attacking us as women,
00:12:49.96\00:12:52.63
not to say, men
are not under attack,
00:12:52.67\00:12:54.97
but I'm taking
it from perspective
00:12:55.00\00:12:56.40
of me being a woman.
00:12:56.44\00:12:57.81
What can you do?
00:12:57.84\00:13:00.18
And as a university professor,
00:13:00.21\00:13:01.54
when you see a young
lady walk into your classroom
00:13:01.58\00:13:03.85
and automatically, you know,
00:13:03.88\00:13:05.81
something is wrong and her mind
00:13:05.85\00:13:08.15
is not there and then
one minute she's A student,
00:13:08.18\00:13:10.92
all your
assignments are being done
00:13:10.95\00:13:12.29
and then she's
missing assignments.
00:13:12.32\00:13:14.96
What do you do?
00:13:14.99\00:13:16.32
You know, I always,
well, every semester,
00:13:16.36\00:13:20.66
every class I go into
the session in prayer.
00:13:20.70\00:13:25.87
I always put God
first. Praise God.
00:13:25.90\00:13:28.00
I mean, that is the lesson that
I learned from my grandmother
00:13:28.04\00:13:30.47
to put God first and be humble.
00:13:30.51\00:13:34.34
She pounded that
into me. Got to be humble.
00:13:34.38\00:13:36.85
You know, when, you
got to be humble. Must.
00:13:36.88\00:13:39.25
Even when I didn't understand
what that meant as a child,
00:13:39.28\00:13:42.45
even as a teenager,
00:13:42.48\00:13:43.82
I didn't
understand what that meant
00:13:43.85\00:13:45.19
when she would come
home from work tired
00:13:45.22\00:13:47.66
and she would be doing
something for the community.
00:13:47.69\00:13:50.26
And I'm like, mom,
00:13:50.29\00:13:51.63
I thought you
said you were tired.
00:13:51.66\00:13:52.99
Right.
00:13:53.03\00:13:54.36
Be humble. Humble.
00:13:54.40\00:13:55.73
So, and you know, and sometime,
her, another saying of hers,
00:13:55.76\00:13:58.67
sometimes you got to do
what you don't want to do.
00:13:58.70\00:14:01.74
So, yeah.
00:14:01.77\00:14:03.20
So when I see young girls,
00:14:03.24\00:14:06.44
young ladies come
into the classroom,
00:14:06.47\00:14:08.31
I try to be that
source of encouragement.
00:14:08.34\00:14:10.45
I know that to whom much
is given much is required.
00:14:10.48\00:14:15.55
That's right. Right?
00:14:15.58\00:14:16.92
And just the same way that
00:14:16.95\00:14:18.35
God placed those
people on my path,
00:14:18.39\00:14:21.12
I have to be
one of those persons
00:14:21.16\00:14:22.92
that's on their path.
00:14:22.96\00:14:24.29
That's right. I like that.
00:14:24.33\00:14:25.66
So I try to speak encouragement.
00:14:25.69\00:14:27.20
I try to speak growth.
00:14:27.23\00:14:28.70
I try to speak power into them.
00:14:28.73\00:14:31.33
And sometimes
even without trying,
00:14:31.37\00:14:33.20
just being,
having a caring nature.
00:14:33.23\00:14:35.20
Right and that smile,
look at your beautiful smile.
00:14:35.24\00:14:37.04
And it works out.
00:14:37.07\00:14:38.41
Driving through the
pain because God allowed you
00:14:38.44\00:14:40.68
to reach this level
of success to give back.
00:14:40.71\00:14:43.35
I believe the
highest level of self-esteem
00:14:43.38\00:14:46.08
is when you can take your hand
00:14:46.11\00:14:48.62
and reach back and pull
someone else ahead of you.
00:14:48.65\00:14:52.55
My mother taught me that,
00:14:52.59\00:14:54.26
always pull people ahead of you.
00:14:54.29\00:14:57.63
Stay humble.
00:14:57.66\00:14:59.09
How can I get you
to your next place?
00:14:59.13\00:15:01.86
How can I get you to
that next station in life?
00:15:01.90\00:15:04.50
Don't worry about
me. Let me help you.
00:15:04.53\00:15:06.20
But I need to be here.
00:15:06.23\00:15:07.94
Because a lot of people
have the mentality, well,
00:15:07.97\00:15:09.94
you know, I got mine, you
know, it's all about me now.
00:15:09.97\00:15:13.81
I had to work hard. I
have to struggle hard.
00:15:13.84\00:15:15.94
You got to do the same.
00:15:15.98\00:15:17.31
Nobody wants to help people,
00:15:17.35\00:15:19.38
you know, anymore.
00:15:19.41\00:15:20.75
Nobody wants to be that,
00:15:20.78\00:15:22.12
the helping hand
as Christ is to us.
00:15:22.15\00:15:25.12
I remember a situation,
00:15:25.15\00:15:27.12
teaching at
Wayne State University.
00:15:27.16\00:15:29.16
And I would talk to my students,
00:15:29.19\00:15:31.29
you know, teaching statistics.
00:15:31.33\00:15:33.36
And, I told my
students, they said,
00:15:33.40\00:15:36.03
what can we do Dr. Nowlin?
00:15:36.06\00:15:37.83
I said, pray.
00:15:37.87\00:15:39.53
So this young man
00:15:39.57\00:15:41.24
who did not have any respect
for spirituality or anything,
00:15:41.27\00:15:45.94
he said, he gabbed in class.
00:15:45.97\00:15:48.01
"If you don't change my grade,
00:15:48.04\00:15:50.05
I'm going upstairs
00:15:50.08\00:15:51.78
and I'm going to
tell the dean of students
00:15:51.81\00:15:54.08
or the department head that
you talk about God in a class
00:15:54.12\00:15:58.42
you're not supposed
to mix state and God."
00:15:58.45\00:16:01.76
So I said, "Okay,
00:16:01.79\00:16:03.59
let's go because you're
not going to intimidate me."
00:16:03.63\00:16:05.79
Do you know what
my other students did?
00:16:05.83\00:16:08.33
He was in one
elevator. I was in another.
00:16:08.36\00:16:10.80
And when that
elevator door opened,
00:16:10.83\00:16:12.67
the rest of my class was in it.
00:16:12.70\00:16:14.70
And they said, we will testify
that we asked you about God,
00:16:14.74\00:16:18.74
you never brought God up,
00:16:18.77\00:16:20.24
but you would always answer,
00:16:20.28\00:16:21.91
you better pray.
00:16:21.94\00:16:23.31
You better pray
before you take this test.
00:16:23.35\00:16:25.41
Did you pray? Did
you pray over your work?
00:16:25.45\00:16:27.72
You know, they'll say Dr. Logan,
00:16:27.75\00:16:29.08
what did you do?
00:16:29.12\00:16:30.45
I said, I always prayed.
00:16:30.49\00:16:31.82
And then the Bible
says, 2 Timothy 2:16,
00:16:31.85\00:16:35.42
"Study to show
thy self approved,
00:16:35.46\00:16:38.13
a workman that
need not be ashamed,
00:16:38.16\00:16:40.50
rightly dividing
the word of truth."
00:16:40.53\00:16:42.33
I remember
learning that scripture
00:16:42.36\00:16:43.73
as a little girl
because my mother was like,
00:16:43.77\00:16:45.30
how did you get this D?
00:16:45.33\00:16:47.27
She did, did you study?
00:16:47.30\00:16:48.64
My mother went and
got the Word of God.
00:16:48.67\00:16:50.07
And she said, "Let me
show you a scripture."
00:16:50.11\00:16:52.17
I have never forgotten,
00:16:52.21\00:16:53.54
study to show thy self approved.
00:16:53.58\00:16:54.91
She said memorize it,
00:16:54.94\00:16:56.28
so that you do not
have to be embarrassed
00:16:56.31\00:16:58.48
by not being prepared.
00:16:58.51\00:17:00.75
And so in that,
when the door is open
00:17:00.78\00:17:04.45
and the
department had walked out,
00:17:04.49\00:17:06.79
he said, can I help you?
00:17:06.82\00:17:08.26
And the young man said no,
00:17:08.29\00:17:11.09
and he got a D in my class
and God continued to prevail.
00:17:11.13\00:17:16.26
I think it's important
that we recognize how to,
00:17:16.30\00:17:20.00
we can get
attached to our students.
00:17:20.04\00:17:22.00
Have you ever got attached?
00:17:22.04\00:17:23.54
You got so
concerned about a student
00:17:23.57\00:17:25.37
that you didn't
cross any boundaries,
00:17:25.41\00:17:28.81
but that student
was special to you?
00:17:28.84\00:17:31.58
Yes, definitely.
00:17:31.61\00:17:33.58
I have students today
that are so special to me.
00:17:33.62\00:17:37.49
You know, when I can
see me in them, especially.
00:17:37.52\00:17:41.42
Yes, they are special to me.
00:17:41.46\00:17:43.46
And so I do whatever,
you know, I do whatever,
00:17:43.49\00:17:45.56
I tell my students that
my goal is to be fair, right?
00:17:45.59\00:17:48.80
Got to be fair.
00:17:48.83\00:17:50.17
And my success is
them being successful
00:17:50.20\00:17:53.37
however they
define success, right?
00:17:53.40\00:17:56.04
So once you reach
that status of success,
00:17:56.07\00:17:58.61
however you define it,
00:17:58.64\00:17:59.97
that makes me a
successful professor.
00:18:00.01\00:18:02.18
Yes. So, yes. And empowers them.
00:18:02.21\00:18:04.61
Yes.
00:18:04.65\00:18:05.98
And you know,
00:18:06.01\00:18:07.35
I remember
another story, a student,
00:18:07.38\00:18:09.68
she brought her mother to class.
00:18:09.72\00:18:11.05
It was a speech
one-on-one class.
00:18:11.09\00:18:12.82
And she threw her
daughter's paper on my desk.
00:18:12.85\00:18:15.49
And I was doing
speeches that day.
00:18:15.52\00:18:17.39
How dare you fail my
daughter? And I looked at it.
00:18:17.43\00:18:19.96
I said, "I want
you to do one thing.
00:18:20.00\00:18:22.63
I want you to
sit in the audience
00:18:22.66\00:18:24.40
and listen to your
daughter's speech."
00:18:24.43\00:18:26.60
I said, I called her next.
00:18:26.63\00:18:28.50
And she was fumbling.
00:18:28.54\00:18:30.21
And I said, "did you prepare,
00:18:30.24\00:18:35.28
did you study?"
00:18:35.31\00:18:36.64
Her mother popped
her in the head and said,
00:18:36.68\00:18:39.38
how dare you have me miss work
00:18:39.41\00:18:41.55
and you have not
even prepared a speech.
00:18:41.58\00:18:44.25
I sat there like, whoa,
God fights your battles.
00:18:44.29\00:18:46.55
Yes, He will all the time.
00:18:46.59\00:18:48.49
And I said, she
has an opportunity
00:18:48.52\00:18:49.96
to get this grade up.
00:18:49.99\00:18:51.33
It's too late
for her to get an A,
00:18:51.36\00:18:53.23
but she can get a passing grade,
00:18:53.26\00:18:55.46
but she's going to
have to put the work in.
00:18:55.50\00:18:57.80
And do you know that young lady,
00:18:57.83\00:18:59.63
she passed my class with a B.
00:18:59.67\00:19:01.64
She called me recently.
00:19:01.67\00:19:03.30
She said, "Dr. Logan,
you were so hard on me."
00:19:03.34\00:19:05.81
Now she's about to present a...
00:19:05.84\00:19:08.94
She came up with this invention
and she's about to present it.
00:19:08.98\00:19:12.85
She said, "Dr.
Logan, can you walk me
00:19:12.88\00:19:14.22
through some
things real quickly?"
00:19:14.25\00:19:15.72
And she says, "Yes,
00:19:15.75\00:19:17.75
I'm that one who
just hated your class."
00:19:17.79\00:19:20.29
But I would start
class and say like,
00:19:20.32\00:19:22.26
"You can love me
now or hate me later.
00:19:22.29\00:19:24.86
Hate me now, love me
later. So let's do this."
00:19:24.89\00:19:29.06
And so my students went
through trials and tribulation,
00:19:29.10\00:19:33.00
but they are now
having their master's,
00:19:33.03\00:19:35.40
their doctorate,
they have, you know,
00:19:35.44\00:19:37.51
come into a higher education
00:19:37.54\00:19:40.24
and learning
based on that example.
00:19:40.28\00:19:43.55
Let's talk about thriving.
00:19:43.58\00:19:46.68
You know, what
do you do for you,
00:19:46.72\00:19:48.32
your personal time to thrive?
00:19:48.35\00:19:51.22
Well, you know, I
just like to relax.
00:19:51.25\00:19:53.52
I love to travel.
You like to travel.
00:19:53.56\00:19:55.22
I have a nephew
who's in the Navy.
00:19:55.26\00:19:57.46
So wherever he goes,
wherever he's stationed,
00:19:57.49\00:20:00.20
I make it a
plan to go visit him.
00:20:00.23\00:20:02.66
Nice.
00:20:02.70\00:20:04.17
I love to, you know,
interact with my students,
00:20:04.20\00:20:07.47
you know, some of my
students, they come from abroad,
00:20:07.50\00:20:10.61
some of my students
are from out of state.
00:20:10.64\00:20:12.51
So if they're on a
sports team, you know,
00:20:12.54\00:20:14.14
they don't have
their parents here.
00:20:14.18\00:20:15.78
Sure. I tell them, let
me know when you're playing.
00:20:15.81\00:20:17.98
All right. And I'm
there to support you.
00:20:18.01\00:20:19.35
That's nice.
00:20:19.38\00:20:20.72
And your
students appreciate that.
00:20:20.75\00:20:22.08
Of course.
00:20:22.12\00:20:23.45
Because you say,
okay, I'm going to be there.
00:20:23.49\00:20:24.82
And they don't really
think you're going to show up.
00:20:24.85\00:20:26.59
They're in shock.
00:20:26.62\00:20:27.96
And then when you show up,
00:20:27.99\00:20:29.32
they're so happy
to see you there.
00:20:29.36\00:20:32.43
It's a matter of that support.
00:20:32.46\00:20:35.00
Yes.
00:20:35.03\00:20:36.36
And a lot of
children and even us,
00:20:36.40\00:20:37.73
looking for that support.
00:20:37.77\00:20:39.10
Yes.
00:20:39.13\00:20:40.47
Was your husband surprised
00:20:40.50\00:20:41.84
or your former husband surprised
00:20:41.87\00:20:43.20
you earning all your degrees?
00:20:43.24\00:20:44.57
Possibly.
00:20:44.61\00:20:45.94
I would say in a sec,
00:20:45.97\00:20:48.08
he's probably surprised
that I endured everything
00:20:48.11\00:20:51.15
that I endured in getting there.
00:20:51.18\00:20:53.48
You know, so I would say
he was probably surprised.
00:20:53.52\00:20:57.05
Because you beyond all
of that, you went through
00:20:57.09\00:20:59.75
and what an example you
are for your own children
00:20:59.79\00:21:02.59
and recognizing
that your faith in God,
00:21:02.62\00:21:06.76
walking with God.
00:21:06.80\00:21:08.13
You said Psalms 23,
"The Lord is my shepherd,
00:21:08.16\00:21:11.93
I shall not want."
00:21:11.97\00:21:13.30
Get everything you need.
I have everything I need.
00:21:13.34\00:21:15.97
Loving God, being a part of God
00:21:16.00\00:21:18.71
and have Him being a
part of you, you know?
00:21:18.74\00:21:21.88
Why is it that people
think that, you know, this,
00:21:21.91\00:21:25.88
God didn't do this.
00:21:25.91\00:21:27.25
There's no God.
00:21:27.28\00:21:28.62
Or why would God
allow such catastrophes?
00:21:28.65\00:21:31.35
Why should God
didn't get that A for me.
00:21:31.39\00:21:34.26
God didn't get me in school.
00:21:34.29\00:21:35.66
God didn't, you know,
00:21:35.69\00:21:37.16
and how foolish
because that's where they are.
00:21:37.19\00:21:40.53
And I don't try to
reason with people.
00:21:40.56\00:21:42.63
I just try to
live a good example.
00:21:42.66\00:21:44.63
And I say, oh, taste and see.
00:21:44.67\00:21:46.90
Did you say, oh, taste
and see how good God is.
00:21:46.94\00:21:50.07
My mother had a
word. She had this word.
00:21:50.11\00:21:52.71
If you said something
to her, she would say,
00:21:52.74\00:21:55.24
certainly I said, but mom,
00:21:55.28\00:21:57.68
certainly, But
mama certainly count.
00:21:57.71\00:22:01.62
So I have a word and
mine is live to be well.
00:22:01.65\00:22:05.42
You know, three,
live to be well, four.
00:22:05.45\00:22:07.86
And so when someone
say something to me,
00:22:07.89\00:22:09.92
I say live to be
well, because I'm not going
00:22:09.96\00:22:11.73
to argue with you.
00:22:11.76\00:22:13.13
I'm not going to fight with you.
00:22:13.16\00:22:14.50
I'm not going to
allow you to disrespect me
00:22:14.53\00:22:16.77
and cause me any
stress or anguish.
00:22:16.80\00:22:19.13
There's enough stress
in this world that we live
00:22:19.17\00:22:21.67
with that to be able to
be inside of our household.
00:22:21.70\00:22:25.11
That's why individuals who
are dating and young ladies
00:22:25.14\00:22:29.31
who have their eyes set
on completing their education
00:22:29.34\00:22:33.72
don't get detoured.
00:22:33.75\00:22:35.08
Can we talk about that
for the last few minutes?
00:22:35.12\00:22:37.39
Sure. Go ahead.
00:22:37.42\00:22:39.59
So I would say, like I said,
00:22:39.62\00:22:42.72
I always have to reference God,
because this was all His plan.
00:22:42.76\00:22:47.30
I knew what I
wanted. I wanted to be a mom.
00:22:47.33\00:22:50.70
I wanted to be a wife.
I wanted to be a good mom.
00:22:50.73\00:22:53.97
I wanted to be a good wife,
but God has something greater
00:22:54.00\00:22:57.54
in store for me.
00:22:57.57\00:22:58.91
Something that I never
could imagine or even dream of.
00:22:58.94\00:23:01.94
You never even thought of it.
00:23:01.98\00:23:03.31
I never even thought of it.
00:23:03.35\00:23:04.68
Like I said, at
some point I did say,
00:23:04.71\00:23:06.05
okay, well, yeah, I
want to go back to college.
00:23:06.08\00:23:08.78
Yes, I want to do
research, but I didn't even know
00:23:08.82\00:23:11.25
what research was, right.
00:23:11.29\00:23:13.15
And I definitely didn't think
00:23:13.19\00:23:15.12
about becoming a doctor via PhD,
00:23:15.16\00:23:18.06
you know, in
high school, you know,
00:23:18.09\00:23:19.63
you dream about being a nurse,
00:23:19.66\00:23:21.63
a police officer
or a teacher, right?
00:23:21.66\00:23:24.07
And then some kind of way
I kind of, you know, said,
00:23:24.10\00:23:26.33
okay, well maybe I'll
dream to become a doctor,
00:23:26.37\00:23:28.97
deliver some babies, right?
00:23:29.00\00:23:31.37
And so, you know,
it was just God's grace
00:23:31.41\00:23:35.48
and mercy on my life, you know.
00:23:35.51\00:23:38.71
When I decided that I
wanted to go to college,
00:23:38.75\00:23:41.98
I was working here at
one of, a store, right?
00:23:42.02\00:23:45.02
We came back home
00:23:45.05\00:23:46.39
after the
military time was over.
00:23:46.42\00:23:49.12
I was working and, I was
working one of those jobs
00:23:49.16\00:23:52.73
where you get off at midnight
00:23:52.76\00:23:54.10
and you had to be back
at 7 o'clock in the morning.
00:23:54.13\00:23:55.63
Oh, mercy.
00:23:55.66\00:23:57.00
And I'm like, I have
three children at home.
00:23:57.03\00:23:58.67
This is not going to work.
00:23:58.70\00:24:00.04
And then I was getting
paid minimal wage, right?
00:24:00.07\00:24:02.77
So it started to dawn on me.
00:24:02.80\00:24:04.17
And that's, at that
point, I just started looking
00:24:04.21\00:24:06.07
in the newspaper because
you would look in the newspaper.
00:24:06.11\00:24:08.68
And then I saw the opportunity
through the city of Detroit
00:24:08.71\00:24:11.51
and then the
opportunity availed itself
00:24:11.55\00:24:13.52
for the final two years.
00:24:13.55\00:24:15.18
And then I went
out and I had made,
00:24:15.22\00:24:17.05
you know,
created those networks.
00:24:17.09\00:24:18.59
So I was able to go
back to those networks
00:24:18.62\00:24:21.02
and then it just
kept going and going.
00:24:21.06\00:24:22.46
And even in graduate
school, it was like, okay,
00:24:22.49\00:24:24.86
this is not for me.
00:24:24.89\00:24:27.23
But God said, no, you
cannot going to quit now.
00:24:27.26\00:24:30.20
I will never give you
more than you can bear.
00:24:30.23\00:24:33.00
All right.
00:24:33.03\00:24:34.37
So I just kept
going and kept going.
00:24:34.40\00:24:35.74
And I mean, even through
the adversities in my marriage,
00:24:35.77\00:24:38.77
it seems like every
time I went a step higher,
00:24:38.81\00:24:41.51
you know, every time I
made an accomplishment,
00:24:41.54\00:24:43.98
you know, my marriage,
you know, I had more issues.
00:24:44.01\00:24:48.92
So I had to work
through those things.
00:24:48.95\00:24:51.42
And at the end of the day,
you know how some people say,
00:24:51.45\00:24:54.62
well, I was a fool
for enduring all of that,
00:24:54.66\00:24:57.16
you know, abuse,
00:24:57.19\00:24:58.99
whether it be psychological,
00:24:59.03\00:25:00.36
whether it be physical,
whether it be emotional.
00:25:00.40\00:25:03.23
And at the end
of the day, I said,
00:25:03.26\00:25:04.70
you know what,
God, I refuse to say,
00:25:04.73\00:25:06.33
I'm a fool because I
know you don't create fools.
00:25:06.37\00:25:08.77
Come on now. Right?
00:25:08.80\00:25:10.31
I know You kept me shielded.
00:25:10.34\00:25:13.04
He kept me shielded.
00:25:13.07\00:25:14.74
He kept me focused.
00:25:14.78\00:25:16.11
You know how you put
those blinders on horses
00:25:16.14\00:25:18.31
when they're going,
you know, traveling, right,
00:25:18.35\00:25:21.28
you don't want, you
want them to pay attention
00:25:21.32\00:25:22.78
to what's ahead of them.
00:25:22.82\00:25:24.62
And that's the way
He kept me shielded.
00:25:24.65\00:25:27.12
And even with all
that I went through,
00:25:27.16\00:25:30.39
I always pray to God.
00:25:30.43\00:25:31.76
God, if it ever comes,
00:25:31.79\00:25:34.73
if there ever comes a time
00:25:34.76\00:25:36.10
where it's time
for this marriage
00:25:36.13\00:25:37.67
to come to an end,
00:25:37.70\00:25:39.57
please allow me to
be able to say that
00:25:39.60\00:25:41.90
I've done everything I could.
00:25:41.94\00:25:45.44
And I was able to say
that, I was able to say,
00:25:45.47\00:25:48.94
I was able to, you know,
00:25:48.98\00:25:51.18
do what I had to do in peace,
00:25:51.21\00:25:53.38
you know, and happiness
and peace is priceless.
00:25:53.42\00:25:56.25
Oh, you can't put a
price on that peace,
00:25:56.28\00:25:59.15
I want to say to all
those who are thinking about,
00:25:59.19\00:26:02.42
it's too late for me
to go back to school,
00:26:02.46\00:26:04.46
too late for me to visualize
owning my own business,
00:26:04.49\00:26:07.66
starting a
business is never too late.
00:26:07.70\00:26:10.47
There is never too late.
00:26:10.50\00:26:11.83
Give me a couple of
words that could empower us.
00:26:11.87\00:26:14.30
We have about a
minute and 54 seconds.
00:26:14.34\00:26:16.27
Give me some words.
Let's do some tag words here.
00:26:16.30\00:26:18.67
Okay. All right.
00:26:18.71\00:26:20.04
Affable. I'm a
very affable person.
00:26:20.08\00:26:23.04
I'm likable, all right?
00:26:23.08\00:26:24.61
I'm loquacious,
00:26:24.65\00:26:25.98
which everybody
knows I'm very talkative.
00:26:26.01\00:26:27.52
Okay? All right.
00:26:27.55\00:26:29.22
But I'm empowered today
by what you've done here
00:26:29.25\00:26:32.75
on Live To Be Well.
00:26:32.79\00:26:34.29
So what words describes you?
00:26:34.32\00:26:36.66
I am real. I am
true. Real. True.
00:26:36.69\00:26:39.53
I am hardworking.
00:26:39.56\00:26:41.76
You know, I'm genuine.
00:26:41.80\00:26:43.26
And I just believe in honesty
00:26:43.30\00:26:47.30
and I always put God first.
00:26:47.34\00:26:50.81
God first.
00:26:50.84\00:26:52.17
Every day, every morning
my eyes open, I thank God.
00:26:52.21\00:26:55.34
And every night before
I go to bed, I thank God.
00:26:55.38\00:26:58.61
And I talk to Him
throughout the day.
00:26:58.65\00:27:00.45
I know I do.
00:27:00.48\00:27:01.82
Throughout the
day, And you know,
00:27:01.85\00:27:03.18
in counseling
where I met you here,
00:27:03.22\00:27:05.22
what it was the
first thing we did,
00:27:05.25\00:27:06.65
I asked you to do what?
00:27:06.69\00:27:08.02
Pray.
00:27:08.06\00:27:09.39
Would it be all right to pray?
And we'll close with prayer.
00:27:09.42\00:27:12.19
I'm excited because
today on Live To Be Well,
00:27:12.23\00:27:15.36
you too can
thrive through the pain,
00:27:15.40\00:27:18.17
just like Dr. Charlotte Winston.
00:27:18.20\00:27:20.74
You don't have to give up
on your goals, your aspiration,
00:27:20.77\00:27:24.21
because there is a God
00:27:24.24\00:27:25.74
that sits up high
and looks down low.
00:27:25.77\00:27:27.94
There is a God who is
able to see you through.
00:27:27.98\00:27:30.91
There's a God who
wants you to live to be well
00:27:30.95\00:27:34.02
and accomplish everything
00:27:34.05\00:27:35.92
because He did
not come to destroy,
00:27:35.95\00:27:38.35
but He came to give life.
00:27:38.39\00:27:40.89
And today on Live To Be Well,
00:27:40.92\00:27:42.56
we want to say you
have an opportunity
00:27:42.59\00:27:45.63
to turn things around
00:27:45.66\00:27:47.50
and make something happen.
00:27:47.53\00:27:49.10
Dr. Charlotte, thank you so much
00:27:49.13\00:27:50.97
for being here
today on Live To Be Well,
00:27:51.00\00:27:53.37
I'm excited.
00:27:53.40\00:27:54.74
I'm thriving every day
and I want to thank you.
00:27:54.77\00:27:57.11
Continue to thrive.
00:27:57.14\00:27:58.47
Amen? Amen.
00:27:58.51\00:27:59.84
And we want you to
continue to thrive,
00:27:59.87\00:28:02.04
and we want you to
continue to live to be well.
00:28:02.08\00:28:05.58
Live to be well.
00:28:05.61\00:28:07.08
I'm Dr. Kim, God bless.
00:28:07.12\00:28:09.32