The following program features real clients 00:00:01.36\00:00:03.06 discussing sensitive issues. 00:00:03.10\00:00:05.03 The views and opinions expressed in this program 00:00:05.07\00:00:07.64 don't necessarily reflect 00:00:07.67\00:00:09.10 that of 3ABN's Dare to Dream Network. 00:00:09.14\00:00:11.77 Viewer discretion is advised. 00:00:11.81\00:00:13.48 Hi, I'm Dr. Kim Logan Nowlin, and welcome to Live to be Well. 00:00:49.38\00:00:54.42 What is live to be well? 00:00:54.45\00:00:55.78 It's about us having wellness, 00:00:55.82\00:00:57.75 feeling good about ourselves and treasuring ourselves. 00:00:57.79\00:01:01.12 Today our topic, special treasure. 00:01:01.16\00:01:03.93 I want to welcome this beautiful couple 00:01:03.96\00:01:06.06 Roy and Lisia Sadler. 00:01:06.09\00:01:07.50 Welcome to Live to be Well. 00:01:07.53\00:01:08.86 Thank you. Thank you. 00:01:08.90\00:01:10.23 We're so happy to be here. We are really excited. 00:01:10.27\00:01:11.90 I remember the first time I met you. 00:01:11.93\00:01:14.47 You were at City Temple Seventh-day Adventist Church 00:01:14.50\00:01:16.67 here in Detroit. 00:01:16.71\00:01:18.04 And you were talking with my husband 00:01:18.07\00:01:19.94 and one of you recognized him on the pulpit 00:01:19.97\00:01:22.91 from the Dare to Dream Network. 00:01:22.94\00:01:24.45 Lisia, you did. 00:01:24.48\00:01:25.85 And then you were like, 00:01:25.88\00:01:27.22 his wife has to be somewhere around here, all right? 00:01:27.25\00:01:29.78 And Arthur signaled me and I met you all. 00:01:29.82\00:01:32.65 You were so kind, so gracious 00:01:32.69\00:01:34.69 and even, Lisia, you came over to the home 00:01:34.72\00:01:36.83 and sang with Arthur, 00:01:36.86\00:01:38.59 you know, before he passed, 00:01:38.63\00:01:39.96 it was just so lovely of you to take the time. 00:01:40.00\00:01:42.53 So I wanna talk about a special treasure. 00:01:42.56\00:01:45.70 I've had a special treasure 00:01:45.73\00:01:47.24 and I know what it felt like, and I still do, 00:01:47.27\00:01:49.77 but you all have each other. 00:01:49.80\00:01:51.77 Roy, why is Lisia so special? 00:01:51.81\00:01:54.54 And why is she that treasure? 00:01:54.58\00:01:56.08 I think it's because I like reality. 00:01:56.11\00:01:59.61 You know, a lot of people, 00:01:59.65\00:02:02.15 they don't mind people being pretentious 00:02:02.18\00:02:04.29 then they have to work through layers and things like that. 00:02:04.32\00:02:06.79 One of the really cool things about her 00:02:06.82\00:02:09.06 that made her a treasure for me 00:02:09.09\00:02:10.53 is that she always set me straight, 00:02:10.56\00:02:12.56 if I was doing something that didn't make sense. 00:02:12.59\00:02:15.56 I appreciated the correction. 00:02:15.60\00:02:16.97 I appreciated someone who could let me know, 00:02:17.00\00:02:19.70 you know, lot right. 00:02:19.73\00:02:21.47 Oh, right. Lot right. 00:02:21.50\00:02:23.61 Was this in the dating period? 00:02:23.64\00:02:25.04 Yeah. This is right. 00:02:25.07\00:02:26.41 Wow. Okay. So I appreciate it. 00:02:26.44\00:02:27.84 That's something I wanted. 00:02:27.88\00:02:29.21 I didn't wanna just be all over the place. 00:02:29.24\00:02:31.11 So I treasure that a lot. You treasure that a lot? 00:02:31.15\00:02:33.62 Lisia, why is Roy a treasure to you? 00:02:33.65\00:02:37.29 He's a treasure to me because 00:02:37.32\00:02:39.02 I feel like he takes the time to understand me, 00:02:39.05\00:02:42.49 to care about what I'm thinking, 00:02:42.52\00:02:45.03 what I'm doing, 00:02:45.06\00:02:46.59 what I'm putting inside my body, 00:02:46.63\00:02:48.30 if I'm resting. 00:02:48.33\00:02:50.60 And we do that for each other, you know? 00:02:50.63\00:02:53.17 I check, did you drink enough water today? 00:02:53.20\00:02:55.14 He does the same thing for me. 00:02:55.17\00:02:56.77 And I know that 00:02:56.81\00:02:59.24 there are other people out there 00:02:59.27\00:03:00.91 that probably would make great husbands, 00:03:00.94\00:03:02.71 but Roy is the best choice in a husband for me. 00:03:02.74\00:03:06.51 And a treasurer is something that's very, very special. 00:03:06.55\00:03:09.65 It's something that's rare. 00:03:09.68\00:03:11.02 And the relationship I think that we have 00:03:11.05\00:03:13.19 with each other is rare. 00:03:13.22\00:03:14.72 And so that's why I treasure him. 00:03:14.76\00:03:16.79 I wouldn't... I couldn't think of anyone else 00:03:16.83\00:03:20.23 that I would want to be with other than him. 00:03:20.26\00:03:22.86 Yes. 00:03:22.90\00:03:24.43 Recently you were at my home church, 00:03:24.47\00:03:26.70 you are at special music and you were singing this song 00:03:26.74\00:03:30.07 and I was trying to videotape you 00:03:30.11\00:03:31.74 at the same time watching Roy. 00:03:31.77\00:03:33.81 And it just brought tears to his eyes, 00:03:33.84\00:03:35.44 the way he looked at you, 00:03:35.48\00:03:37.15 the way he smiled, the way he was just so blessed. 00:03:37.18\00:03:40.45 You ministered to him sitting there. 00:03:40.48\00:03:42.92 Let's talk about, we see divorce in our communities 00:03:42.95\00:03:46.55 and our Christian communities, 00:03:46.59\00:03:47.96 but we're seeing it in the Adventist Church. 00:03:47.99\00:03:50.63 Roy, what is happening? 00:03:50.66\00:03:53.06 I think it's an overall reflection 00:03:53.09\00:03:55.23 of what's going on in society. 00:03:55.26\00:03:56.97 And people think that the church is immune, 00:03:57.00\00:03:59.00 but it's not. 00:03:59.03\00:04:00.54 And I think it's from letting down our guard 00:04:00.57\00:04:04.21 and straying away 00:04:04.24\00:04:06.11 from what we were brought up with, you know? 00:04:06.14\00:04:09.14 I remember visiting some of my mates 00:04:09.18\00:04:11.51 from high school and college 00:04:11.55\00:04:12.88 and, you know, you wanna approach them 00:04:12.91\00:04:14.45 and talk and catch up, haven't spoken 10, 15, 20 years 00:04:14.48\00:04:17.29 or whatever the case may be. 00:04:17.32\00:04:19.05 And you get timid 00:04:19.09\00:04:20.42 because you don't want to broach church. 00:04:20.46\00:04:21.86 You know, you don't know if they're still active or, 00:04:21.89\00:04:24.93 you know, so it becomes this kind of thing. 00:04:24.96\00:04:27.23 You know, you don't know what... 00:04:27.26\00:04:28.66 so I think that's just a reflection of society 00:04:28.70\00:04:31.17 and we need to work on that I think, 00:04:31.20\00:04:33.57 you know, to re-church our companions and our cohorts, 00:04:33.60\00:04:38.21 the people that we came together with, so... 00:04:38.24\00:04:40.98 What do you think, Lisia, is happening in our family, 00:04:41.01\00:04:43.28 because you just celebrated 28 years together? 00:04:43.31\00:04:47.25 Yes. Praise the Lord. 00:04:47.28\00:04:49.45 But we're not seeing that any more in our young couples, 00:04:49.48\00:04:53.46 so what do you see? 00:04:53.49\00:04:56.66 I see a lot. 00:04:56.69\00:04:58.06 I see couples 00:04:58.09\00:05:00.06 not willing to work at marriage. 00:05:00.10\00:05:05.20 I think that media television 00:05:05.23\00:05:08.77 sometimes, books, 00:05:08.80\00:05:10.81 whatever it is that's out there 00:05:10.84\00:05:13.07 has people having a view of marriage 00:05:13.11\00:05:16.48 as something that they can just get in and out of. 00:05:16.51\00:05:20.12 If you don't like what someone's doing, 00:05:20.15\00:05:22.15 or saying, or not doing, 00:05:22.18\00:05:24.29 you can just get out of it and marry someone else. 00:05:24.32\00:05:27.82 And the way Roy and I were brought up was that 00:05:27.86\00:05:30.76 when you make a vow, it's a vow. 00:05:30.79\00:05:34.40 It's something that you mean to carry through with. 00:05:34.43\00:05:37.93 And it's your word and your bond. 00:05:37.97\00:05:42.64 You said that you would be with this person 00:05:42.67\00:05:45.21 till death do you part. 00:05:45.24\00:05:47.91 That's serious. 00:05:47.94\00:05:49.51 You know, when we went into our marriage, 00:05:49.54\00:05:51.38 it was till death do us part. 00:05:51.41\00:05:53.52 And it wasn't easy, the first three years, 00:05:53.55\00:05:56.55 five years, seven years, eight years 00:05:56.58\00:05:59.95 after year eight or nine 00:05:59.99\00:06:02.46 is when we really started to really gel. 00:06:02.49\00:06:06.16 And we could have easily gotten divorced our first, 00:06:06.19\00:06:09.06 second or third year. 00:06:09.10\00:06:10.43 I remember going home once, and my mom sent me right back. 00:06:10.47\00:06:14.04 She sent you back? She sent me right back. 00:06:14.07\00:06:16.54 So, you know, and it wasn't that 00:06:16.57\00:06:18.51 I was thinking of divorce. 00:06:18.54\00:06:21.21 But if I didn't have that foundation 00:06:21.24\00:06:24.55 that this is till one of us passes, 00:06:24.58\00:06:29.08 it would have been easy to just quit 00:06:29.12\00:06:31.12 and move on to someone else and move on to someone else 00:06:31.15\00:06:34.29 and keep moving on. 00:06:34.32\00:06:35.66 So it really takes having that commitment 00:06:35.69\00:06:40.70 that I gave my word 00:06:40.73\00:06:42.06 that this is something I'm gonna do, 00:06:42.10\00:06:43.43 and I'm gonna do it. 00:06:43.47\00:06:44.80 And stick with it mentality. Stick with it, yeah. 00:06:44.83\00:06:47.14 You know, you both, tell me where you're from, Lisia. 00:06:47.17\00:06:49.07 Where were you born? Port of Spain, trini. 00:06:49.10\00:06:51.17 You were gonna say, all right, Trinidad. 00:06:51.21\00:06:52.54 Trinidad, trini to the bone. 00:06:52.57\00:06:53.91 Trini to the bone. All right. 00:06:53.94\00:06:55.61 And where were you from? 00:06:55.64\00:06:57.35 I'm from Jamaica, West Indies. 00:06:57.38\00:06:58.98 Now, where did you all meet, 00:06:59.01\00:07:00.35 you're on two different islands here? 00:07:00.38\00:07:02.42 Where did, how did you all meet? 00:07:02.45\00:07:03.79 Well, we both came here when we were really young. 00:07:03.82\00:07:05.62 Yes. 00:07:05.65\00:07:06.99 I came here when I was about five 00:07:07.02\00:07:09.12 and I was, I had left Andrews. 00:07:09.16\00:07:12.43 I graduated from Andrews 00:07:12.46\00:07:13.80 and I was in Huntsville doing graduate work 00:07:13.83\00:07:17.67 and I liked to always blow off steam. 00:07:17.70\00:07:20.47 I grew up roller skating a lot. Yes. 00:07:20.50\00:07:22.34 You know, and so that was one of the ways 00:07:22.37\00:07:24.41 I blew off steam after exams 00:07:24.44\00:07:26.44 and met her at the roller skating rink. 00:07:26.47\00:07:28.38 In Huntsville? 00:07:28.41\00:07:29.74 An open roller skating rink on a Saturday night. 00:07:29.78\00:07:32.08 Are you kidding me? 00:07:32.11\00:07:33.45 Yeah. Yeah, a true story. 00:07:33.48\00:07:34.82 Now Andrews University 00:07:34.85\00:07:36.18 again is one of our Seventh-day Adventist universities 00:07:36.22\00:07:39.49 that is in Berrien Springs, Michigan 00:07:39.52\00:07:41.39 and Oakwood University is in Huntsville, Alabama, 00:07:41.42\00:07:44.06 but both a Seventh-day Adventist training institution, 00:07:44.09\00:07:47.73 educational institution. 00:07:47.76\00:07:49.60 So did you bump into her? 00:07:49.63\00:07:52.43 Almost. 00:07:52.47\00:07:53.84 So what was it that attracted you to her? 00:07:53.87\00:07:56.14 Well, that's really interesting that you ask. 00:07:56.17\00:07:59.11 I'm just a kind of a geeky friendly guy 00:07:59.14\00:08:01.34 who will talk to anybody. 00:08:01.38\00:08:02.71 And I was just being friendly. 00:08:02.74\00:08:05.01 Was she nice? 00:08:05.05\00:08:08.52 I'll let her take that one. 00:08:08.55\00:08:09.88 So he kept trying to talk to me that evening 00:08:09.92\00:08:13.79 and I wasn't feeling that well. 00:08:13.82\00:08:15.56 I really wanted to go home 00:08:15.59\00:08:17.66 and he kept trying to talk to me. 00:08:17.69\00:08:19.73 And so, I don't know 00:08:19.76\00:08:21.43 if you've ever been in Oakwood rink, 00:08:21.46\00:08:23.37 but they have this cable wire drums 00:08:23.40\00:08:25.87 with carpet on it. 00:08:25.90\00:08:27.24 So he was literally following me around. 00:08:27.27\00:08:30.31 Where you stalking her? 00:08:30.34\00:08:31.97 Okay. We're not gonna say stalking, okay? 00:08:32.01\00:08:34.31 Maybe a little. 00:08:34.34\00:08:37.35 It was a good meeting. 00:08:37.38\00:08:38.71 So did you give your number that night? 00:08:38.75\00:08:40.18 No, actually one of my girlfriends 00:08:40.22\00:08:44.19 invited him to my home the next day, 00:08:44.22\00:08:46.35 because I was having a barbecue 00:08:46.39\00:08:49.09 and he dropped us home that night, 00:08:49.12\00:08:51.36 but my girlfriend invited him, 00:08:51.39\00:08:53.33 but he ended up in the kitchen with me all afternoon 00:08:53.36\00:08:55.86 and it's been like that ever since. 00:08:55.90\00:08:58.93 Isn't it, I need some tissue, that's so beautiful. 00:08:58.97\00:09:01.60 That is really beautiful and the commitment. 00:09:01.64\00:09:04.44 All right. 00:09:04.47\00:09:05.81 So let's look at tools, communication, compromise. 00:09:05.84\00:09:09.48 What kind of tools do you use in your marriage? 00:09:09.51\00:09:11.95 I would say our togetherness. 00:09:11.98\00:09:14.02 We do a lot of little things together. 00:09:14.05\00:09:15.78 Okay, quality time? 00:09:15.82\00:09:17.15 Yeah. 00:09:17.19\00:09:18.52 Outside, working outside together. 00:09:18.55\00:09:21.82 Traveling, not necessarily to any special destination. 00:09:21.86\00:09:24.79 I just want you with me. Come on. Let's hang out. 00:09:24.83\00:09:26.66 Let's go. 00:09:26.70\00:09:28.03 You know, just, we just like each other's company 00:09:28.06\00:09:30.10 and we discovered that in the kitchen. 00:09:30.13\00:09:32.07 Yeah. Yeah. 00:09:32.10\00:09:33.77 So you have a real friendship? Yes. 00:09:33.80\00:09:36.64 That was the big thing. Yeah. 00:09:36.67\00:09:38.01 We... Roy and I, 00:09:38.04\00:09:41.71 we were friends for a long time. 00:09:41.74\00:09:45.18 We, like I said, he was in the kitchen 00:09:45.21\00:09:46.95 with me that day. 00:09:46.98\00:09:48.32 We became friends. 00:09:48.35\00:09:49.68 We, I would go to his place and swim. 00:09:49.72\00:09:51.79 He would invite my mom and my sisters to his house. 00:09:51.82\00:09:55.06 And we were just friends 00:09:55.09\00:09:56.96 and I was very attracted to him. 00:09:56.99\00:09:59.63 He was attracted to me, 00:09:59.66\00:10:01.46 but some of the things he was talking about 00:10:01.50\00:10:03.70 earlier about setting him straight, 00:10:03.73\00:10:05.57 I had boundaries 00:10:05.60\00:10:07.14 and I had those boundaries 00:10:07.17\00:10:08.80 because there were certain commitments 00:10:08.84\00:10:10.97 that I had made to myself and to God, 00:10:11.01\00:10:13.51 that activities I would not be involved 00:10:13.54\00:10:16.38 in prior to marriage. 00:10:16.41\00:10:17.75 And so it was healthy for us to be friends 00:10:17.78\00:10:21.95 because if we allowed ourselves 00:10:21.98\00:10:25.15 to express what we were really feeling, 00:10:25.19\00:10:28.79 I think we would have... 00:10:28.82\00:10:30.16 I would have broken some of those boundaries. 00:10:30.19\00:10:32.76 And so we chose to just be really, really good friends. 00:10:32.79\00:10:38.47 There was something deeper there, 00:10:38.50\00:10:40.64 but it was just easier for me 00:10:40.67\00:10:44.31 if we remain friends, 00:10:44.34\00:10:46.37 and then allow it to develop over time. 00:10:46.41\00:10:49.74 Yeah. 00:10:49.78\00:10:51.11 How do you incorporate God? 00:10:51.15\00:10:53.15 You know, your prayer time together. 00:10:53.18\00:10:55.58 A lot of couples because they're, 00:10:55.62\00:10:57.42 you know, Seventh-day Adventist, 00:10:57.45\00:10:58.79 but they don't pray together. 00:10:58.82\00:11:00.36 They don't study the Word together. 00:11:00.39\00:11:01.82 They don't even go to Sabbath school. 00:11:01.86\00:11:03.69 You know, they drive to church separately. 00:11:03.73\00:11:05.66 That was that a no, no clause in my marriage 00:11:05.69\00:11:09.16 because we look forward to the Sabbath. 00:11:09.20\00:11:11.43 So what do you incorporate to incorporate God 00:11:11.47\00:11:15.74 in your marriage? 00:11:15.77\00:11:17.14 Well, I think one of the first things 00:11:17.17\00:11:18.74 that I thought was really interesting about her 00:11:18.77\00:11:20.78 because she's very artistic 00:11:20.81\00:11:23.35 and she likes to set aside places. 00:11:23.38\00:11:25.98 And so we have, 00:11:26.01\00:11:27.85 our living room doesn't have a TV or whatever in it. 00:11:27.88\00:11:31.79 It's kind of our multipurpose, but it's our worship space. 00:11:31.82\00:11:35.42 So when we even look over there, 00:11:35.46\00:11:37.56 it's kind of like, 00:11:37.59\00:11:38.93 that's the place that triggers the fact that, oh, worship. 00:11:38.96\00:11:43.73 It even reminds me, I walk by 00:11:43.77\00:11:45.10 it and I go, oh, I need to ask her 00:11:45.13\00:11:46.53 would you make time for worship this evening, 00:11:46.57\00:11:47.97 although we're in a rush or something's going on, 00:11:48.00\00:11:50.54 that's the worship space and it's kind like a trigger. 00:11:50.57\00:11:52.57 Yes. 00:11:52.61\00:11:53.94 You know, and so that, that helps a lot. 00:11:53.98\00:11:55.31 Okay. 00:11:55.34\00:11:56.68 How important is praying together, you know? 00:11:56.71\00:11:58.91 And let me ask you this, hold this, 00:11:58.95\00:12:01.52 when you are angry, 00:12:01.55\00:12:02.88 because there's no perfect marriage 00:12:02.92\00:12:04.25 or have a disagreement, do you still pray together? 00:12:04.29\00:12:09.19 Can we be transparent? 00:12:09.22\00:12:10.56 Yes. Okay. 00:12:10.59\00:12:12.46 Sometimes it's difficult at first 00:12:12.49\00:12:15.93 and I would say that 00:12:15.96\00:12:17.30 in the earlier years of our marriage, 00:12:17.33\00:12:20.30 no, we did not. 00:12:20.34\00:12:21.74 We would argue and fuss and we would be separate, 00:12:21.77\00:12:26.37 but as we've grown together, 00:12:26.41\00:12:30.15 after that, I was saying like, 00:12:30.18\00:12:32.08 after that year eight, year nine 00:12:32.11\00:12:34.92 there would be times where I would have to compromise, 00:12:34.95\00:12:37.22 like I know I'm right in this argument 00:12:37.25\00:12:40.42 and I go to him and I say, I'm sorry. 00:12:40.46\00:12:43.12 Okay. And humility. 00:12:43.16\00:12:46.06 Yeah. Yeah. 00:12:46.09\00:12:47.60 And we would say, okay, let's come together. 00:12:47.63\00:12:50.90 And I don't wanna go to bed angry tonight. 00:12:50.93\00:12:53.80 Let's pray, you know, let's have worship 00:12:53.84\00:12:55.94 and something about 00:12:55.97\00:12:57.84 having that time with God together, 00:12:57.87\00:13:00.04 even though you're upset, 00:13:00.08\00:13:01.41 it's like, it just washes... 00:13:01.44\00:13:02.81 It breaks barriers. It washes everything away. 00:13:02.84\00:13:05.45 It's like, you know, 00:13:05.48\00:13:06.82 you know what you might've been arguing about, 00:13:06.85\00:13:08.58 but it doesn't even really matter 00:13:08.62\00:13:10.59 that much anymore. 00:13:10.62\00:13:12.29 And you just start compromising and saying, you're sorry. 00:13:12.32\00:13:14.86 And... 00:13:14.89\00:13:16.22 I think for men, it's a big thing too, that, 00:13:16.26\00:13:17.69 you know, we need to grow and learn 00:13:17.73\00:13:20.03 to be humble in our relationships, 00:13:20.06\00:13:21.76 whether it's in marriage or in any relationship, 00:13:21.80\00:13:25.77 men have strong ego. 00:13:25.80\00:13:28.17 And so, maturing in Christ I think is dying to self 00:13:28.20\00:13:33.91 and learning to suppress that ego 00:13:33.94\00:13:37.21 and just say, hey, I was wrong. 00:13:37.25\00:13:40.82 Or I even think I'm still right, 00:13:40.85\00:13:42.65 but I need to capitulate a little bit 00:13:42.68\00:13:45.35 and just kind of bring it down 00:13:45.39\00:13:47.29 and say, I'm sorry and move forward, 00:13:47.32\00:13:48.86 because without humility, 00:13:48.89\00:13:50.96 I don't think there's any forward movement. 00:13:50.99\00:13:52.76 And Christ talked about that. 00:13:52.79\00:13:54.66 He always expressed that, 00:13:54.70\00:13:56.63 you know, humility is the first order. 00:13:56.67\00:13:59.17 That's it. 00:13:59.20\00:14:00.54 So you would be open to her apology? 00:14:00.57\00:14:02.40 Yeah. Yeah. I would accept it. 00:14:02.44\00:14:04.81 Who is more stubborn? 00:14:04.84\00:14:06.17 I'm very stubborn in my own way, 00:14:10.15\00:14:12.88 but we're both stubborn in different ways, 00:14:12.91\00:14:14.62 I think, right? 00:14:14.65\00:14:15.98 That's true. 00:14:16.02\00:14:17.35 We're kind of both stubborn in different ways. 00:14:17.39\00:14:18.72 Who is a better communicator? 00:14:18.75\00:14:20.52 I think she is. I am. I think I am. 00:14:20.56\00:14:22.49 Better chef? 00:14:22.52\00:14:24.56 She is, but I'm not too bad. 00:14:24.59\00:14:27.10 He's really good. He's really good. 00:14:27.13\00:14:28.70 Organization. 00:14:28.73\00:14:30.30 He is. Yeah. 00:14:30.33\00:14:31.67 Definitely. He's meticulous. 00:14:31.70\00:14:33.47 Very meticulous. Yeah, very meticulous. 00:14:33.50\00:14:35.74 Okay. Timely. 00:14:35.77\00:14:37.14 Time management, who has best time management? 00:14:37.17\00:14:40.21 I think we're... 00:14:40.24\00:14:41.58 She is more efficient than I am because, 00:14:41.61\00:14:43.31 because I'm so, you know, 00:14:43.35\00:14:45.21 schedules and the way things should go. 00:14:45.25\00:14:46.72 Yes. 00:14:46.75\00:14:48.08 She's more willing to move on the flow 00:14:48.12\00:14:49.95 and you know, how women are, can do 00:14:49.98\00:14:51.32 a thousand things at one time. 00:14:51.35\00:14:53.09 I'm more linear, like a guy, you know, A, B, C this slot, 00:14:53.12\00:14:57.33 this slot, you know, so she's more efficient. 00:14:57.36\00:15:00.66 I might be a little more organized 00:15:00.70\00:15:02.90 with slotting time, 00:15:02.93\00:15:04.27 but I think it's a good... 00:15:04.30\00:15:05.63 It's a good mix. Right. 00:15:05.67\00:15:07.00 Yeah. The balance is there. 00:15:07.04\00:15:08.50 All right. Financial management? 00:15:08.54\00:15:11.74 That's always a challenge. 00:15:11.77\00:15:13.11 And it has been for us in the last five years 00:15:13.14\00:15:17.71 due to a lot of illness. 00:15:17.75\00:15:20.42 Yeah, And losing my job. 00:15:20.45\00:15:25.75 But it was so funny. 00:15:25.79\00:15:27.12 My mom was visiting us recently and she said, 00:15:27.16\00:15:31.53 "Your husband is a great manager.' 00:15:31.56\00:15:35.30 I don't know how he's managed all of this 00:15:35.33\00:15:37.50 because the loss of my income was, 00:15:37.53\00:15:41.90 it was major, 00:15:41.94\00:15:44.24 and not to diminish Roy's role 00:15:44.27\00:15:49.14 as a financial provider. 00:15:49.18\00:15:50.51 But for the last decade, 00:15:50.55\00:15:52.65 I had a substantial more income than he has 00:15:52.68\00:15:56.95 because of the role that I played in what I did. 00:15:56.99\00:16:00.32 And so it was taking a huge head away from us. 00:16:00.36\00:16:03.63 So I think he's done pretty well 00:16:03.66\00:16:06.59 managing with the simple fact 00:16:06.63\00:16:09.06 that we haven't had my income, 00:16:09.10\00:16:11.97 you know, so, you know, it's been a challenge, 00:16:12.00\00:16:14.57 but God has been good. 00:16:14.60\00:16:15.94 God has taken care of us. 00:16:15.97\00:16:17.71 He pays tithe faithfully. 00:16:17.74\00:16:19.87 And I think that that is always a covering 00:16:19.91\00:16:24.41 when you pay your tithe faithfully. 00:16:24.45\00:16:26.21 You return your tithe, because it belongs to God. 00:16:26.25\00:16:27.72 All right. 00:16:27.75\00:16:29.08 When you return your tithe faithfully, 00:16:29.12\00:16:30.45 God covers you. Oh, He does. 00:16:30.49\00:16:31.92 And your health and others. 00:16:31.95\00:16:33.76 You lost your father. 00:16:33.79\00:16:35.39 Let's talk about that? 00:16:35.42\00:16:36.76 How was Roy's support during that time to you? 00:16:36.79\00:16:39.46 It was awesome during that time. 00:16:39.49\00:16:43.60 You know, God has a way of timing things. 00:16:43.63\00:16:47.87 And you don't understand His timing 00:16:47.90\00:16:50.57 around the time that my dad became ill, 00:16:50.61\00:16:53.34 I lost my job. 00:16:53.38\00:16:55.28 And so my time was free 00:16:55.31\00:16:58.95 and Roy works from home. 00:16:58.98\00:17:01.02 So we packed up our car. 00:17:01.05\00:17:02.58 We drove down to Lithonia, Georgia, 00:17:02.62\00:17:05.69 and I helped my mom take care of my dad. 00:17:05.72\00:17:08.26 I cooked for him, 00:17:08.29\00:17:10.66 you know, helped her around the house. 00:17:10.69\00:17:12.73 She did most of the medical nursing stuff. 00:17:12.76\00:17:15.66 She and my younger sister who has more medical training, 00:17:15.70\00:17:19.73 but I made sure that everybody was cooking, 00:17:19.77\00:17:22.34 eating healthy every day. 00:17:22.37\00:17:23.77 And just spending time with him, 00:17:23.81\00:17:25.34 reading the Bible to him, singing to him. 00:17:25.37\00:17:28.44 So the fact that he packed up his computers 00:17:28.48\00:17:32.55 and packed up all his gear and brought a desk 00:17:32.58\00:17:35.28 so that he could work 00:17:35.32\00:17:36.69 while he was at my mom's house. 00:17:36.72\00:17:38.05 And I could be with my mom and my family 00:17:38.09\00:17:39.89 and help with my dad. 00:17:39.92\00:17:41.52 That was awesome. 00:17:41.56\00:17:42.89 He was so supportive during that. 00:17:42.92\00:17:44.33 And we did that twice while he was ill. 00:17:44.36\00:17:47.93 I don't know a lot of spouses. 00:17:47.96\00:17:50.27 Maybe they wouldn't be able to do it 00:17:50.30\00:17:52.67 because of their work situation, 00:17:52.70\00:17:54.67 but some wouldn't want to do it. 00:17:54.70\00:17:56.50 You go, I'll be here when you get back. 00:17:56.54\00:17:58.67 When he was there, he, my dad grew his beard out 00:17:58.71\00:18:02.54 and he hadn't worn a beard for many years 00:18:02.58\00:18:04.88 because it was all gray. 00:18:04.91\00:18:06.41 And my dad liked, 00:18:06.45\00:18:07.78 you know, he has a, 00:18:07.82\00:18:09.15 had a way with his personal aesthetics. 00:18:09.18\00:18:10.59 He'd like to love them, you know, very groomed. 00:18:10.62\00:18:12.45 So he didn't wear a beard, but due to the illness, 00:18:12.49\00:18:15.39 he had like a little lump on the side of his neck. 00:18:15.42\00:18:18.29 And so he grew a full beard and Roy trimmed him up 00:18:18.33\00:18:21.16 and cut his hair and had him looking slick, 00:18:21.20\00:18:24.60 even though, even though he was ill. 00:18:24.63\00:18:28.17 So those are the things like he takes care, 00:18:28.20\00:18:31.17 not just of me, but of my parents. 00:18:31.21\00:18:33.78 When my mom comes, she's like, 00:18:33.81\00:18:36.75 "Son, can you give me a haircut?" 00:18:36.78\00:18:38.11 And he gives her a haircut. 00:18:38.15\00:18:39.81 So he is just loving and supportive. 00:18:39.85\00:18:43.69 Very, very, I think. 00:18:43.72\00:18:45.59 And I had the privilege of meeting your father. 00:18:45.62\00:18:47.09 I did. 00:18:47.12\00:18:48.46 Let's talk about the direction of your marriage. 00:18:48.49\00:18:52.89 You know, Jesus is soon to come 00:18:52.93\00:18:55.46 and preparing your mindset 00:18:55.50\00:18:58.20 and the cycle of change 00:18:58.23\00:18:59.57 because we see what's going on in our world today. 00:18:59.60\00:19:02.37 How are you preparing yourselves 00:19:02.40\00:19:04.54 to be ready for Jesus to come in this world that we live in? 00:19:04.57\00:19:09.84 I think when you look at accumulating 00:19:09.88\00:19:15.32 and saying, I want, I want, I want, 00:19:15.35\00:19:18.49 you change your perspective 00:19:18.52\00:19:19.89 when you see the things 00:19:19.92\00:19:21.52 that are happening around the world. 00:19:21.56\00:19:23.46 You know professionals, you know, you study hard, 00:19:23.49\00:19:27.26 I should be able to do 00:19:27.30\00:19:28.63 and by and do this, that and the other, 00:19:28.66\00:19:30.00 but your perspective changes 00:19:30.03\00:19:32.20 as you see things that are happening. 00:19:32.23\00:19:34.44 And so that's one of the discussions 00:19:34.47\00:19:35.80 we have had recently, you know? 00:19:35.84\00:19:38.61 Hmm. 00:19:38.64\00:19:40.14 Do we do this? 00:19:40.18\00:19:41.51 Or can we do this in a different way 00:19:41.54\00:19:44.78 and shuffle that money towards something for God? 00:19:44.81\00:19:50.12 You know, you just really change your perspective 00:19:50.15\00:19:52.15 and you try with prayer 00:19:52.19\00:19:54.89 to make decisions that honor the fact 00:19:54.92\00:19:58.43 that we are in the last days. 00:19:58.46\00:20:00.06 We're in the last days. 00:20:00.10\00:20:01.43 So that's something 00:20:01.46\00:20:03.10 that I think is channeling 00:20:03.13\00:20:05.07 how we look at things, you know? 00:20:05.10\00:20:07.04 Go ahead, Lisia. 00:20:07.07\00:20:08.40 I was gonna say for me recently 00:20:08.44\00:20:11.67 just to kind of get back into the workforce. 00:20:11.71\00:20:13.88 I obtained my real estate license. 00:20:13.91\00:20:17.31 And what I'm finding is that this is not about, 00:20:17.35\00:20:21.48 what I'm doing is not about real estate. 00:20:21.52\00:20:23.82 I've been witnessing a lot. 00:20:23.85\00:20:26.72 A lot of people want me to take them out on Sabbath 00:20:26.76\00:20:29.92 and I tell them no. 00:20:29.96\00:20:31.86 And recently I had the opportunity 00:20:31.89\00:20:34.53 of talking to a guy and his wife who are Muslim. 00:20:34.56\00:20:37.83 And we were in the last house. 00:20:37.87\00:20:39.20 I was showing them a home on a Sunday morning. 00:20:39.23\00:20:41.77 And the Holy Spirit said to me, explain to him 00:20:41.80\00:20:44.54 why you can't take him out on Sabbath. 00:20:44.57\00:20:47.08 And so I said, you know, so and so, 00:20:47.11\00:20:49.41 you've been asking me 00:20:49.44\00:20:51.01 to take you out on Sabbaths or on Saturdays. 00:20:51.05\00:20:54.08 And that's the Sabbath 00:20:54.12\00:20:55.75 from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown, 00:20:55.78\00:20:58.25 I don't do any work. 00:20:58.29\00:21:00.06 And so he says, "Are you a Jew?" 00:21:00.09\00:21:02.06 I said, "No, I'm not Jewish." 00:21:02.09\00:21:04.23 And so he says, "But you keep Sabbath?" 00:21:04.26\00:21:06.33 I said, "Yes." 00:21:06.36\00:21:07.70 He says, "Well, yes, God did tell us to keep the Sabbath." 00:21:07.73\00:21:09.86 And I thought that was surprising 00:21:09.90\00:21:11.37 because I know that 00:21:11.40\00:21:12.73 they keep Friday afternoons or evenings 00:21:12.77\00:21:14.80 Yes, Friday afternoon in Dubai, Friday afternoon. 00:21:14.84\00:21:16.67 Right. 00:21:16.71\00:21:18.44 So they know about the Sabbath. 00:21:18.47\00:21:20.38 So he says, "Well, do you believe in Jesus?" 00:21:20.41\00:21:22.71 And I said, "Yes." 00:21:22.74\00:21:24.28 And so we got into there's no one, but God, 00:21:24.31\00:21:26.38 there's no other God but God, and Jesus was a great prophet. 00:21:26.41\00:21:29.48 And I said, I said, 00:21:29.52\00:21:31.09 "You know, everyone believes what they believe, 00:21:31.12\00:21:33.15 but I just wanted to share with you 00:21:33.19\00:21:35.39 why I couldn't go with you on Sabbaths." 00:21:35.42\00:21:39.46 And I've had other opportunities 00:21:39.49\00:21:41.16 and other things that I'm trying to build 00:21:41.20\00:21:43.60 to explain to people 00:21:43.63\00:21:45.30 why I don't work 00:21:45.33\00:21:47.27 during the sunset Friday to sunset. 00:21:47.30\00:21:50.01 So it's been more of a witnessing tool, you know? 00:21:50.04\00:21:55.71 I am getting business and God is blessing, 00:21:55.74\00:21:58.95 but I'm finding that I'm witnessing more now 00:21:58.98\00:22:01.78 than I ever have. 00:22:01.82\00:22:03.15 And I'm more... 00:22:03.18\00:22:04.52 I feel more free and open to do so, 00:22:04.55\00:22:06.92 because I guess as an agent, it is your own thing. 00:22:06.96\00:22:12.69 But when you're working for a corporation, 00:22:12.73\00:22:16.46 they kind of frown on any religious activity, 00:22:16.50\00:22:20.60 but this is one-on-one 00:22:20.64\00:22:22.60 and they can choose to listen or not. 00:22:22.64\00:22:24.74 And everyone has been receptive. 00:22:24.77\00:22:26.57 It's like, they wanna know 00:22:26.61\00:22:27.94 what is this strange faith 00:22:27.98\00:22:29.51 where you believe in Jesus and you keep a Sabbath, right? 00:22:29.54\00:22:33.38 Yeah. 00:22:33.42\00:22:34.75 A lot of people don't know, and they don't know. 00:22:34.78\00:22:38.05 And they assume that they know, and they don't. 00:22:38.09\00:22:39.55 Right. 00:22:39.59\00:22:40.92 Because I go with my patients or clients, 00:22:40.96\00:22:43.16 Dr. Logan, can you see me on Saturday 00:22:43.19\00:22:44.86 and the Bible says good to do well on a Saturday, 00:22:44.89\00:22:46.66 there's emergency suicide. 00:22:46.70\00:22:48.60 But normally I need to be rebooted. 00:22:48.63\00:22:50.53 I have to be refreshed. 00:22:50.57\00:22:51.90 I need to hear a good word. 00:22:51.93\00:22:53.27 I need the Lisia sing, I need that. 00:22:53.30\00:22:56.07 But in that I recognize that 00:22:56.10\00:22:59.04 so many people are hungry for Jesus. 00:22:59.07\00:23:02.18 They are hungry for the Word of God. 00:23:02.21\00:23:04.41 Let's talk about and being a special treasure, 00:23:04.45\00:23:07.32 do you still, your me time together? 00:23:07.35\00:23:10.55 You know, are you still roller skating? 00:23:10.59\00:23:12.65 It's been awhile, but yes we do. 00:23:12.69\00:23:14.96 All right. But you still do. 00:23:14.99\00:23:16.42 All right. So what do you do, Roy? 00:23:16.46\00:23:19.06 And what do you do Lisia for your me time? 00:23:19.09\00:23:23.26 You mean individually? 00:23:23.30\00:23:24.63 Individually, your own personal space. 00:23:24.67\00:23:26.00 Yes, you appreciate yourself. 00:23:26.03\00:23:28.24 I like to work with my hands a lot. 00:23:28.27\00:23:29.70 Okay. 00:23:29.74\00:23:31.07 So when I can, I try to build something 00:23:31.11\00:23:33.11 or repair something or fix something, 00:23:33.14\00:23:34.71 I just enjoy that, you know? 00:23:34.74\00:23:36.21 Around the house? 00:23:36.24\00:23:37.58 Around the house or a computer, 00:23:37.61\00:23:38.95 I mean, I'm in the computer field. 00:23:38.98\00:23:40.32 And so I'll find an old computer 00:23:40.35\00:23:42.05 that needs fixing and I'll just fix it, 00:23:42.08\00:23:44.15 rebuild it or something like that. 00:23:44.19\00:23:45.55 Or if, you know, I grew up working on cars a lot. 00:23:45.59\00:23:48.49 If a friend needs help with a car, 00:23:48.52\00:23:49.86 I'll say I volunteer. 00:23:49.89\00:23:51.23 Hey, can I come help you with your car, you know? 00:23:51.26\00:23:52.73 All right. 00:23:52.76\00:23:54.10 Music. Music. 00:23:54.13\00:23:55.46 Yeah, that's true, music a lot. 00:23:55.50\00:23:56.83 Yeah, 'cause both of you, both sing, 00:23:56.87\00:23:58.20 you know, do you do duets together? 00:23:58.23\00:24:01.54 Funny you should ask. 00:24:01.57\00:24:02.90 I know, we're actually doing one this weekend. 00:24:02.94\00:24:05.37 Oh, at a church? 00:24:05.41\00:24:07.04 Okay. 00:24:07.08\00:24:08.41 At another not our home church, but another church in the area. 00:24:08.44\00:24:10.98 Oh, how lovely. How lovely. 00:24:11.01\00:24:13.55 So, and what do you do, Mrs. Sadler? 00:24:13.58\00:24:16.52 I like to get massages. Yes. 00:24:16.55\00:24:19.22 I try to get as many as those as possible. 00:24:19.25\00:24:22.92 So I'll go and I'll plan a facial 00:24:22.96\00:24:25.83 or I'll plan a massage. 00:24:25.86\00:24:27.66 Sometimes I have this infra red, 00:24:27.70\00:24:31.27 like it's a blanket 00:24:31.30\00:24:33.10 that I get into and I close it and turn it on. 00:24:33.13\00:24:35.97 And I just lay in there, get hot and purified, 00:24:36.00\00:24:41.18 get all the toxins and everything out. 00:24:41.21\00:24:42.71 So just, you know, anything that helps me to relax. 00:24:42.74\00:24:45.91 I like to read, I like music. 00:24:45.95\00:24:48.18 And then sometimes I just don't mind like a old, 00:24:48.22\00:24:51.35 I like old, black and white movies. 00:24:51.39\00:24:53.36 Yeah, those are romantic, very nice. 00:24:53.39\00:24:55.72 Yeah. So I love stuff like that. 00:24:55.76\00:24:57.09 You take walks together? Yeah. 00:24:57.13\00:24:58.66 A lot. A lot. We do that a lot. 00:24:58.69\00:25:00.33 Do you ever take walks in the rain? 00:25:00.36\00:25:03.00 I've tried to get her to do that a couple times 00:25:03.03\00:25:05.40 when the weather is just right for it, 00:25:05.43\00:25:06.90 because otherwise it can be challenging. 00:25:06.94\00:25:08.80 I've done that a couple times, 00:25:08.84\00:25:10.71 it's not like a normal thing. 00:25:10.74\00:25:12.07 Right. 00:25:12.11\00:25:13.44 'Cause I've seen couples, I've talked to couples 00:25:13.48\00:25:15.04 and I said, you walk in the grain. 00:25:15.08\00:25:16.85 And I said, that's interesting. 00:25:16.88\00:25:20.35 I don't even like being in the rain. 00:25:20.38\00:25:21.88 All right. 00:25:21.92\00:25:23.25 So cooking together in that kitchen together, 00:25:23.28\00:25:27.29 looking at your ministries in church. 00:25:27.32\00:25:30.29 Could anything ever pull you away from God, do you think? 00:25:30.33\00:25:36.00 Well, I think in the past, 00:25:36.03\00:25:38.27 you know, when you're less mature 00:25:38.30\00:25:39.87 in the Christian life, things can, 00:25:39.90\00:25:42.30 and I think each of us is in a different place, 00:25:42.34\00:25:46.27 you know, in our Christian walk. 00:25:46.31\00:25:48.24 So I'm hoping and praying that 00:25:48.28\00:25:52.68 nothing can take me away at this point 00:25:52.71\00:25:55.12 but I'm not gonna predict. 00:25:55.15\00:25:56.48 I just want to stay prayed up. 00:25:56.52\00:25:58.05 Yes. Lisia? 00:25:58.09\00:26:00.32 I can't imagine that. 00:26:00.36\00:26:02.36 It's hard for me to imagine a life without my faith, 00:26:02.39\00:26:08.23 without God. 00:26:08.26\00:26:09.90 It would seem very, very, very strange. 00:26:09.93\00:26:14.77 I know that when you're younger, 00:26:14.80\00:26:16.97 some of the things that you do as a Christian are habit. 00:26:17.01\00:26:20.38 If you choose to stay in the church, 00:26:20.41\00:26:21.88 because you're so used to doing the same thing, 00:26:21.91\00:26:24.35 but after awhile, 00:26:24.38\00:26:25.91 you need that in order to feel sane, 00:26:25.95\00:26:29.58 in order to feel whole. 00:26:29.62\00:26:31.25 And so I can't imagine ever leaving the church, 00:26:31.29\00:26:35.12 leaving God, leaving what I feel 00:26:35.16\00:26:38.96 and know to be true. 00:26:38.99\00:26:40.56 Yes. 00:26:40.60\00:26:41.93 Let me ask you this. 00:26:41.96\00:26:43.30 You know, we've about a minute left, 00:26:43.33\00:26:44.67 your favorite scripture, favorite scripture? 00:26:44.70\00:26:47.77 "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, 00:26:47.80\00:26:50.91 they shall mount up with wings as eagles, 00:26:50.94\00:26:53.44 they shall run and not be weary, 00:26:53.48\00:26:55.24 they shall walk and not faint." 00:26:55.28\00:26:56.91 Yes. I know it's in Isaiah, I cannot remember 58. 00:26:56.95\00:26:59.81 I can't remember the verse. 00:26:59.85\00:27:01.38 So don't look at me right now, 00:27:01.42\00:27:02.75 just got into the moment right now. 00:27:02.78\00:27:04.55 Yeah, that is my... 00:27:04.59\00:27:05.92 My dad taught me that text 00:27:05.95\00:27:07.29 and it had stayed with me. 00:27:07.32\00:27:08.66 Stayed with you. Roy, what is yours? 00:27:08.69\00:27:11.16 "Lean not unto thy own understanding, 00:27:11.19\00:27:13.06 but in all thy ways acknowledge Him 00:27:13.09\00:27:14.63 and He shall direct thy path." 00:27:14.66\00:27:16.06 That's a blessing. 00:27:16.10\00:27:17.60 That's one of my favorites, 00:27:17.63\00:27:18.97 but my favorite of all Hebrews 11:1, 00:27:19.00\00:27:21.67 "Faith is the substance of things 00:27:21.70\00:27:23.04 hoped for and the evidence of things not seen." 00:27:23.07\00:27:26.11 I just want to thank you both for coming on 00:27:26.14\00:27:28.08 and we're out of time 00:27:28.11\00:27:29.58 and continue to be a special treasure. 00:27:29.61\00:27:32.91 It's important that 00:27:32.95\00:27:34.28 we make Jesus our special treasure 00:27:34.32\00:27:36.52 and make sure that you have that walk, 00:27:36.55\00:27:38.69 without that we can't live to be well. 00:27:38.72\00:27:41.02 So I say to you, 00:27:41.06\00:27:42.39 I give you Christ as your special treasure. 00:27:42.42\00:27:44.76 I'm Dr. Kim and live to be well. 00:27:44.79\00:27:47.50 God bless. 00:27:47.53\00:27:48.86